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When they got back to the lair, Donatello immediately went into his lab. He had a strange feeling about this mutagen. Something about it was just… off. He decided to test it, just in case. It would delay what he had to do later, anyway. Donnie was no procrastinator, but he wasn't exactly eager to explain to Splinter that he'd need a new staff two nights in a row. It wasn't his fault that the staff was so easy to break compared to his brothers' weapons, it was just… delicate. Fragile.
Weak.
He shook his head to dismiss the thought and sat down at his desk. His weapon may have been breakable, but it wasn't weak. It just required the right technique… yes, that was it. It just needed some skill behind it. It was a beautiful weapon, capable of so much if only used with the right strategy. It was sort of like him, he supposed. Maybe not the strongest or the one that stood out in the bunch, but he had talent. It simply had to be used in the right way. It just had to be used smartly. See, it was smart. He was smart. It required thought, but it wasn't weak. No, it wasn't weak! It wasn't, he was sure of it! It couldn't be- it wasn't- he wasn't…
He refocused himself on the tests he needed to conduct on the mutagen. This wasn't the time to be thinking about things like that.
"Great job, Leo. You failed. Again."
"Oh right," Leo snapped. "Because it was all my fault. It had nothing to do with how you almost spilled mutagen on me. Seriously, Raph! You couldn't control yourself; you just had to hit the Kraang so hard that it flew everywhere, including almost into me! I could have gotten that Kraang before he alerted anyone had you been sensible! Just because you're sensitive about everyone thinking you're weak doesn't mean you have to bulldoze everything in your path!"
Raph's hands clenched into fists. His knuckles cracked and grew white. "Oh, I'm sorry, fearless! I wasn't aware that you wouldn't be able to take down one kraangdroid with some things flying in the air. Oh no! Obstacles! It's almost like in, I don't know, a battle? Who would have thought!"
Leo jabbed a finger at him. "That 'obstacle' was mutagen! You. Almost. Mutated me! What part of that do you not understand? What part of that merits an excuse?"
Raph snorted. "Couldn't even take down one lousy Kraang."
Leo drew a sword. "Excuse me?"
Raphael responded by drawing both sais, forehead vein bulging. "Maybe I'm not the one who has to worry about being weak around here. Maybe someone else just wants to seem like he's got everything under control, even when he knows he's never going to be good enough."
Focused on each other, it went unnoticed when Donnie froze at this on his way to the kitchen.
Leonardo's face was growing red. He circled Raphael like a hungry shark, maintaining eye contact all the while. "What are you saying?"
Raph smirked. "You know exactly what I'm saying. All those extra hours you put to training. To meditating. You're trying to make up for something you're not." He gave half an upwards nod. "And you never will be."
They raced to meet each other in the middle of the living room. Swords joined sais with a horrible clang. Their arms and weapons shook with the struggle of pushing the other back.
Raph had a full grin on his face now, pleased by his brother's response. "You're not perfect. All that work, all that training, and you're still messing up. You're still leading us into danger. You're still failing."
Leo withdrew his swords and stepped to the side, allowing Raph to stumble forward at the sudden change in weight. He swung a kick at Raph's knees, but Raphael recovered too quickly and flipped over his head. Taken by surprise at this, Leo hesitated long enough for Raph to be able to strike him across the shoulder with the butt of his sai. Leo clenched his teeth to muffle a yell of surprise.
Raph swept over the ground with one leg in an attempt to knock Leonardo off of his feet, but Leo jumped over his foot. Raph rolled over his own shoulder and landed in a fighting stance.
Leo brought both swords down at the same place over Raph's head. Raph caught a sword in each sai and twisted the sais so that the swords were stuck in them. Raphael attempted to bring the swords out of Leo's grasp by pulling them side to side while Leonardo tried to free his katanas.
"My plans would work- maybe they wouldn't fail- if you would just listen to me! Why do you always feel the need to make sure something goes wrong?"
Raph laughed. "Fearless, I have tried to follow you. Even then you can't get anything done. Stop blaming your failures on me because you're not enough. You were never meant to be leader."
"And that means you were? If anyone's blaming here, it's you. You're jealous. Always were. You were always jealous that I'm cool-headed enough to lead. If you were trying to follow my lead when we failed, then it wasn't because I was inadequate." He pulled his katanas free with a final tug and went in for another jab, this one at Raphael's chest.
Raph ducked and held the sword between his sais above him. He side-kicked Leo square in the chest, forcing him back and making him let go of the sword, which Raph tossed to the side.
Leo brandished his remaining katana. "It was because even though you were trying, you couldn't control yourself. You tried to destroy more than you needed to, tried to prove you were powerful, your recklessness was a distraction. You overdid it. You went too far. And your show of strength became the door to exploiting your weakness. "
Raph's smirk fell. It was only for a split second, but Leo grinned when he saw it.
"You're never going to be enough," Raph spat.
"You're never going to gain control," was Leo's reply. "How could you command the team when you can't even control yourself?"
Raph moved so fast Leo didn't have time to react. He brought his elbow across Leo's face. Leo staggered back. Raph sent a snap kick at the top of Leo's plastron and then Leonardo was on the ground.
"And I could do that without my sais, even while you had your sword." It was already out of his mouth by the time he realized what he had just said. He had just proved Leonardo's point- trying to make up for his impulsiveness with shows of brute strength. Choosing not to dwell on it, he stormed off to his room.
Leonardo watched him go, staring daggers into the back of his head as he retreated.
