A/N Hey guys! I'm sorry its been so long! Work switched to being online, and I just didnt have the energy to do more work on the laptop.

Okay, I'll be honest... this chapter is not my best work! It was awkward and a little choppy, but the next chapter we will have a little bit of a spar between Shika and one of her age mates (Im stuck between Kiba, Hinata, or Sakura tbh) and then we are going to go into an indepth training plan because team 7 doesnt get a monopoly on training as apprentices.

So yeah, Im sorry it's been so long and that this isnt the best.. I may rewrite it!


Silence reigned between the quartet as they drifted their way through the crowded streets. It had always fascinated Shikamaru that people parted unconsciously around her father and his team. Especially the shinobi of the village; the civilians tend to move away from ninja, in fear-tinged respect. Before that mission with Kakashi and Anko, Shikamaru was certain the ninja moved because her dad was the commander, now… Now she wasn't so sure, especially as even some of the higher ranked jounin were leaving a larger gap between them and the group of 4. She needed to corner Anko and find out what she meant at the beginning of the week. As lost in her thoughts as she was, Shikamaru missed the loaded looks between her uncles and her father, until her dad's arm tightened briefly around her, steering her out of the way of a crate.

"You okay there, kid? Got your head in the clouds again?" Shikaku rumbled. His voice gentle, quiet enough for her ears only. "Hope you don't mind that we've stolen you for a while, but its been a while since we had BBQ with you. We figured we'd treat you, and you could talk to us."

Shikamaru had to smile slightly. Her father was never one to beat around the bush; he was also not above bribing her with the traditional BBQ. She sighed and dropped her head into his shoulder. It was nice that they were taking just her, she had missed the three-on-one time with the older Ino-Shika-Cho. It had been a long-standing event, that every week the three of them treated one of their kids to dinner and a chat, and then all three together on the last week of the month. Chouji and Ino had started crashing her monthly night, and she couldn't remember the last time she went to the group night. Unconsciously, Shikamaru started to chew on her bottom lip. Was it going to be awkward? Were they going to yell at her again? Or maybe accuse her of something else? A firm thumb against her lip, brought her back to her surroundings, as it pulled her lip from between her teeth. Blinking up at her uncle, she felt herself flush slightly under his amused and concerned gaze.

"Nee, Shikamaru-chan, you back with us? I thought I was going to have to tickle you to get your attention!" Inoichi's words were filled with mischief and humour. His teal eyes sparkling as he gazed down on his pseudo daughter. As cute as watching her try and hide instinctively in Shikaku's shoulder was, it was a tiny bit concerning that she still felt like she had to hide from them. With a fluid movement, belying of his age, Inoichi had Shikamaru tucked under his arm and through the door of their favourite restaurant. Chatting his way through the building, waving at the odd person as he went, Inoichi had their group settled into their corner booth, their orders in in short time.

"So Shika, I hear you've been training with some of higher chunins and special jounins? How's that going? Kakashi mentioned something about giving you a project for him?" Chouza's voice rumbled over the top of Inoichi's rambling. Rolling his eyes at his long-haired companion, the rotund man turned the smaller kunoichi and gave her a gentle encouraging smile. It had been too long since this had last happened, and he wanted to know everything.

"Yes, it's a bit troublesome at times! They are slave drivers at times, but I think there has been some results from it. I've a new jutsu! That's fun, I can't wait to try it out on a mission, though Raido-san says I shouldn't use it in close quarters. Him and 'Zumo are saying my taijutsu is way better than it was. I'm hoping I'm where I should be now, and my chakra reserves are increasing dramatically." Shikamaru rambled, excited to be able to talk to her family about her training. Waving her hands as she spoke, Shikamaru launched herself into details about her training and her pet project for Kakashi. The three older nin shared smiles; it was nice to see the most reserved of their kids be so animated! Looking on indulgently, the older ninja let the excited chatter flow over them as they got to work cooking and seasoning the meat. Well, they were until Shikaku stiffened and cut across Shikamaru sharply.

"You're interested in seals, little fawn? Why?!" Shikaku demanded, cutting short the babble, his voice tight and cold. He couldn't… no, he wouldn't let his daughter fall into the same pit as his brother had. He watched as Shikamaru flinched from him, her open manner closing down as she threw her walls up.

"I thought it might be a good way to hold some chakra in reserve. That way, if I run out in the middle of a fight, I always have spare..." Shikamaru muttered, her eyes locked on the table. She was absentmindedly tracing patterns on the table; tense as she waited for someone to say something… anything. Shikamaru chewed her lip in the silence, her father's chakra was spiking, and the shadows were practically boiling with his emotion. She really hoped he wouldn't pull rank and ban her from learning this skill.

"Well," Inoichi started, breaking the silence. "That's a great reason to learn some sealing. Its normally taught at high chunin level, not long before they go for promotion. However, its normally just the basics: sealing rolls, explosive tags; light tags, and chakra blocking. Konoha is running low on actual seal masters. Jiraiya-sama is a master-level sealer. Tsunade-sama isn't as good as her teammate but knows a lot for some of her medical ninjutsu. Then you have Kakashi, Genma Shiranui, Raido Namiashi, and Iwashi Tatami. Obviously, you know Hatake, but the final three are members of the Hokage guard so were taught some sealing from the Yondaime. I know Kakashi is very particular about teaching anything to anyone about sealing, but out of the last four names, he is the closest to the sannin with his ability. If it's truly what you want to specialize in, you need to be prepared to spend hours studying." Inoichi had an idea on why Shikaku reacted so badly. It had been several years since that horrible incident, and it seemed like the wounds his brother carried were still just as open and jagged as when it happened. Still, Inoichi wouldn't let him scare Shikamaru from this path; she needed this… Konoha needed a new influx of blood in dying arts. He knew he had said the right thing, when the girl opposite him lit up. Her amber eyes glowing with delight as she started to list all the ideas she had. Inoichi just smiled indulgently and listened, keeping her attention on him, rather than the hushed conversation between Chouza and Shikaku.

"Right! I was ashamed to realise that I was way behind the chunin I trained with, so, so-far we've focused on stamina and chakra reserves. Raido said that now Genma's back we can start the training plan he has made up for me!" Shikamaru paused and glanced nervously at the family sitting with her. "He said I had potential. That with the right training I could be an outstanding shinobi of the leaf…. And I want that. I want to protect my home, my family, my friends. I'll do everything I need to be a shield for the village." Shikamarus voice was steel, the normal lazy drawl gone as she sat straight, her eyes burning into the teal ones opposite her. She needed them to accept this, accept her. Three, almost feral, smirks slowly spread across the faces of the older Ino-Shika-Cho trio at her statement.

"Welcome to adult clubhouse Shikamaru-chan. To do what you want to do, you need to move away from the genin and civilian view of shinobi. See past the veneer of the mask we wear and see the predator inside. Realise that the pretty boundaries of life so far don't matter. At the academy they teach you that the world is black and white. The leaf is right. The superiors are right. The mission is always for a good cause. That the enemy is bad and should be put down." Chouza started, his rumbling voice holding a timber to it that Shika hadn't heard before. She recognised his words. Asuma-sensei had said them a few weeks into their genin training.

"When you got to genin, Asuma should have introduced you to the shades of grey we work in. That sometimes we have to do things we don't like to help the mission. We gather information, and you know how we do that, and we spin lies and situations to further the villages agenda. Now you realise that a lot of the shades of grey are relative to what you see, something that Asuma wouldn't have told you for a few more months. You'll start to notice that a lot of missions you do aren't directly for the good of the village. A lot of them are politically minded or economically important. You'll find yourself wondering why your mission is happening, most genin just accept that the mission is the mission. You, on the other hand, are too bright too accept that… Except it's too much of a drag for you to do any digging. Time to stop letting yourself get away from the laziness Shikamaru, and you've taken that first step." Inoichi continued from Chouza, his eyes stern as he watched the girl. His experience reading the seriousness in her body language, the tension in her shoulders as she listened. Truly listened and took their words to heart. Inoichi agreed with Raido's assessment of his niece, her potential was high, and they had nearly let her laziness burn her out. It wasn't widely known among the younger generation, but Shikaku used to meet the Yondaime blow for blow. It was the favourite gamble for their cohort; Inoichi could remember fondly the amount of sake he had bought or been bought over the year! It would have been a travesty if the Shadow Walker's daughter never made it past chunin, or gods forbid died young.

"Which leads us into the third stage. Chunin. At this point you start to see the bigger picture in technicolour. Suddenly those shades of grey become splashes of colours. You start to see the village's political connections and how everything you do affects the village. You realise that you have to stop rationalizing everything you do, before you lose sight of you as a person, or you go insane. Most chunin ask questions, but never the right questions. What is Konoha? Why does Konoha exist? How do we keep such a high level of missions incoming from other countries? Why are some missions turned down?" Shikaku took over, his rich voice claiming the attention of their table. He knew what he wanted to get Shikamaru to realise. "Konoha is extremely lucky with the ninja we put out. Lucky enough to make us very protective over its assets. We currently stand as the village with the highest success rate with the lowest casualty rate on missions. This can only happen if our shinobi are looked after, trained properly, and given the chance to bond. It takes time to train someone from academy to jounin, time is money and we don't like to waste it. So, we encourage shinobi to ask questions, however, chunins aren't as encouraged as jounins. Some of the answers you get can put you in direct danger, which means a loss of incoming money. You, daughter, have a unique opportunity. You are being taught and encouraged to ask questions, something your peers will have to wait for…if it's ever taught to them. See the colours Shika-chan; ask the questions. When you get there, come and ask us for what you see as a jounin." With a heavy heart, Shikaku rested a hand on his daughter's head. As much as he wanted to keep her naïve and innocent, it was time for her to grow up…

A few hours later, Shikamaru wandered the streets of Konoha, her mind on the conversation with her father and uncles. It felt like she now had another puzzle piece. The problem was she had no idea what the puzzle was. Sighing, Shikamaru shoved her hands deeper into her pockets and slumped down. Wandering down the street, Shika felt like she was disconnected from the joy surrounding her. Compared to this morning, it felt like she was just looking in a window on the civilians around her, almost dreamlike. A specter allowed to observe but never interact; not allowed to stain the sweet innocence with her bloodstained hands. Freezing in the middle of the street, Shikamaru choked, her throat closing on her as her emotions surged and hit her like a tidal wave. She was drowning in the middle of the street, tainting the image of ignorance around her. Stumbling, she forced herself down a dark ally out of sight of the civilians. Was this what her dad meant? To see in technicolour, and realise that as a shinobi you can never go back to the childlike state of optimism. That she was going to stain her soul with death, so that others can live a dream of peace? Something clicked in her mind, external country missions... Of course, Konoha isn't as kind as it projects, it has its own dark underbelly, drenched and built in torture and blood, but it wasn't shown. The leaf invested time and money into projecting a squeaky-clean image, which attracted the civilians, noble or otherwise, clients. Whimpering, Shikamaru slid down the wall and buried her head into her hands and cried. She cried for last of her own childhood leaving her, slipping away as she committed herself to her new role. She cried for the blood that had been spilt and would be spilled. Shikamaru allowed herself this one chance to cry for her own innocence before she moved on. Footsteps echoed around her as someone sat beside her, their arm around her shoulders. A light scent of lavender and lily filled her nose as she was pulled into someone, a voice whispered sweet comforting words to her. Slowly the voice and scent registered in her mind, triggering Shikamaru to tense and pull away, flushing in shame at being caught crying in the street. Especially by this person.

"Shikamaru, please don't turn away from me. What's wrong? Why are you crying? Tell me!" Ino's voice speed up as she started asking questions. The softer tone falling away to a more demanding one. Her hand darting out to grab the edge of Shikamarus flak vest, tugging the brunette closer when she moved to stand. Flinching back at the wordless snarl from Shikamaru, Ino watched her friend walk away.

"Stay away from me Ino." Shikamaru paused at the entrance to the ally, and tossed the words over her shoulders, her voice as cold as ice. The warm breeze wicked away any traces of her tears, as her eyes glinted in the dying light. It was time to get down to training, and she knew just where to go for it. With a quick inhale, Shikamaru ran, dodging the civilians and occasional ninja on her way to the training grounds. She needed to tell Raido that she wanted to kick start the training plan. No more tears, it was time to reach that potential they saw in her.