Day 18 | 03:45 AM

Gabby rolled over in her sleep, wanting to snuggle up against Matt again, but he was missing from the bed. Immediately awake, she got up from the bed, quietly walking to the bathroom, expecting to find him there. But the light was still switched off and Matt was nowhere to be seen.

'Matt?'

Walking to the living room, she looked around the dark room.

'Matt?'

Leaning towards the light switch, she started to get concerned. Him being gone from the bed and not being in the bathroom, she worried what was going on.

Switching on the light, she finally saw him at the kitchen table, his head on his arms.

'Shit, you scared me,' Gabby sighed relieved as she sat down by him.

'Sorry – just couldn't sleep anymore,' Matt mumbled as he closed his eyes again. His hand searched for hers over the table.

'Headache?' she asked concerned.

'Yeah,' Matt mumbled, his eyes still closed as the light burned his eyes. Gabby laid her hand on his back, standing up as she kissed him on his head.

'I'll grab some painkillers,' she said softly, kissing him on his head again. Walking to the bathroom, she grabbed the painkillers and walked back to the kitchen. She wasn't sure what to say to him as he sat down beside her.

'Come on, you will feel better when you take these,' she said gently, worried that he was still in pain. Rubbing over his back as he finally took the pills, she looked as he finally looked up. His eyes were tired, unfocused and worried she laid her hand on his back again.

'You okay?'

'I don't know,' he admitted.

'Anything I can do?'

'No, I am sorry – just feeling weird – tired and not like myself,' he mumbled softly.

'I know, it's okay,' she told him as she kissed him on his cheek again.

'No, it's not okay,' he said frustrated as he closed his eyes again, the light still hurting his eyes.

'Come on, let's get you back to bed,' she said softly as he was still slumped against the kitchen table, looking worse by the minute.

Finally he did get up, leaning on her as they got back to the bed.

'I am really sorry Gabby-'

'About what?'

'Just - how I am now,' he said as he started to slur, his eyes falling shut.

Caressing over his head as he had finally fallen asleep, tears welled up in her eyes, upset with how angry and frustrated he was with himself.


8:00 AM

'Matt, wake up,'

Opening his eyes, Gabby was already putting his breakfast and medication on the small table she had put down on the bed.

'Thanks,' he grumbled, grateful that she was already taking care of him again, but feeling horrible because of the pain in his head and how it had gone last night.

Gabby kissed him on his head.

'Good morning,'

'Sorry, still not feeling great,' he admitted.

'It is okay to have a bad day, especially after last night,' she told him as she caressed his head, gently.

'I know, but I should not be this tired after just watching a hockey match, or have such a headache,' Matt mumbled as he pinched the bridge of his nose. The light was burning his eyes and his head was throbbing. He knew he had stayed up for much longer than he had in weeks and looking at the TV for the match had surely not helped.

'Matt-'

'Shouldn't complain either, I know,' he said then, laying his hand on hers as he tried to force a smile onto his face.

'I think you get to complain after everything that has happened,' she assured him.

'You should still go for your run though, not sure if I am going to be walking today,' he told her as he was already wearing her sportswear.

'Are you sure?' Gabby didn't seem sure, not wanting to leave him alone.

'Still gonna be moping in bed when you come back, I promise,' he winked at her.

'Is getting some stuff from Laura's bakery going to change that?'

'Going to change the moping part for sure – you should go, will be nice to see Laura, maybe Eva is there as well,' he smiled at her. As much as he was feeling crap, he didn't want her to put her life on hold for him.

'You know what, you should drop by your family anyway, I am going to try and sleep through most of the day anyway,' Matt said.

'Not sure if I wanna leave you alone all day when you are feeling this crap,' Gabby said concerned as she caressed his cheek, looking at him worried.

'You have been by my side nonstop for nearly three week. Please just take some time for yourself, you must be sick of me – hell, I am sick of me,' Matt admitted.

'I am not sick of you though,' she told him.

'You asked me in the hospital to tell you if I ever wanted to be alone, I think I wanna be alone for a bit today, Gabby – I am sorry,' he said as she let go of his hand.

'Oh… alright,'

'Gabby-' he wanted to tell her not go after all, seeing the hurt look on her face. He wanted her to be here, every minute of every day but with how frustrated he was feeling, he didn't want to take any more of it out on her.

'It's okay, I'll call Christie to check up on you – be back for dinner,' she said upset. Not even a minute later, he heard her close the front door.


2:54 PM

Gabby had gone for a run and gotten her car. Having gone to her appartement and dropping by the bakery now, she was glad to spend some time with her family. She tried not to feel hurt that Matt had said he wanted to be alone for a bit today, but she still felt hurt.

Driving to the bakery, she soon sat across from Laura with some coffee and her favorite key lime pie.

'You look upset,'

'Matt had a bad night, this morning he send me away even though he clearly still feels like crap, but he still send me away,'

'He wanted to be alone, or?'

'He has just been so frustrated and I don't know what to do or say to help him,'

'When Antonio was shot and got stuck at home – he was frustrated all the time,' Laura said and Gabby nodded.

'I know, he drove us all up the wall,'

'Matt probably feels equally frustrated,'

Gabby nodded, knew Laura was right.

'Especially with a brain injury, I know I need to be patient. So does he,'

'Besides, you two had only been dating for a little while before the accident, so it is even harder since you don't know how you both react to these situations. Just be clear with him with what you need and I am sure you can get through this,'

'Thanks Laura, you are right,' Gabby smiled.

'Another slice?'

'Absolutely,' Gabby smiled, so glad that her family was always here to have her back.


4:16 PM

Matt had talked Christie out of coming to check up on him, even though Gabby had called her. Instead, he was waiting for Shay to come over.

It had been nerve wrecking to call her, having to rely on somebody to help him. Especially somebody he only knew from work and from socials gatherings after. But he felt vulnerable now.

Having taken more than two hours to get showered and dressed, he waited for Shay to arrive. It came as a relief when the backdoor opened as Matt had told her to use and carried in all the stuff he had asked her to take.

'Hey Matt, how are you?' Shay asked as she walked his way, not having seen him since a few days ago in the hospital. But she thought he looked worse now. He was pale, looked tired and sat a little slumped over and it worried her even more that Gabby wasn't here with him.

'Fine,'

'You don't look so hot,' Shay said concerned.

'You think Gabby would leave me alone if I wasn't doing good,' Matt argued.

'You are good at pushing people away,'

'That I am,' he admitted.

'The fact you asked me to get her food and flowers makes me think you two aren't doing so good. She seemed off yesterday too,' Shay said as she sat down.

'I have been frustrated and it's been hard on her too. I asked her to visit her family today since I didn't want to take any more of my frustrations out on her, sorry – don't want to give the impression I am treating her badly,' he admitted.

'Matt, just the fact that you are aware of that makes me know you don't want to do anything wrong, please don't worry about that,' Shay said, Although she and Matt had never been close outside of work and meeting at the bar, she felt bad seeing him like this. The confident lieutenant seemed so unsure now.

'Come on, let's set everything up, she will love it,' Shay said as she laid her hand on Matt's shoulder.

'Just on the coffee table?'

'Yeah, can you light the candles too? I am a professional but too worried being near matches with only my left hand,'

Shay nodded, thought it was so sweet he wanted to surprise Gabby.

'Just wanna do something nice to surprise her, she has been so good to me,' Matt mumbled, He was so glad that Shay had come to help him out.

'You have been good to her too,' Shay assured him as she put the plates down on the coffee table.

'Just feel like I can't give her what she deserves. Think she had expected our honeymoon weeks to be different – so did I,' Matt admitted. Wanting to help Shay with putting the blankets and pillows on the couch, she stopped him.

'Matt, it's okay, save your energy,' Shay told him as she pushed him back in the wheelchair, concerned. Wanting to argue, he felt too tired to do it though.

'Thank you for coming to help, know it was a bit last minute – you are a great friend to Gabby,'

'Hey, you are my friend too,'

'Thank you,'

'You are welcome, anything else I can do?' Shay asked as she had put everything on the table for him as Gabby could be home any minute.

'Can you just help me with one more thing?'

'Anything,'

'Please help me cut and put the flowers in a vase, Gabby would kill me if she finds out I would have been using a knife with my left hand,'

'Yeah, she would rightfully be really angry,' Shay nodded as she got up to walk to the kitchen.

'The beam tried, but Gabby would succeed if she found out,' Matt joked, so grateful how Shay was helping him out.


5:35 PM

Nervous he sat on the couch, waiting for Gabby to come back home. Seeing her car drive by to park up the block as not to raise suspicion if anybody came to check on him, he got up. Holding the wall and everything he could grab on the way since he was worried about falling, he made his way towards the door, waiting for her there.

As soon as she opened the door, he kissed her on her forehead.
'Hey, you got up!' she said excited as she walked in, kissing him.

'Just about, how was seeing your family?'

'It was great,' she admitted, holding up a bag from the bakery Laura ran.

'Got those donuts you really like,' she smiled.

'We can save them for tomorrow, come on, I got something for you,' Matt said as he laid his arm around Gabby.

'What did you do?' she asked curious, holding his hand over her shoulder, worried as she could feel him walk unstable. With how bad he had been this night and morning she worried, but as soon as she saw the sushi, candles and flowers on the table she couldn't help but smile.

'You didn't -'

'No, I got some help,' Matt admitted.

'I meant just – you didn't need to do this,' she smiled as they walked towards the couch.

'Wanted to,' he smiled as he kissed her on her cheek. Sitting down before he would fall down, he was glad to finally see her smile.

'Gosh, Matt, it's too much,' she smiled, so grateful that even on a bad day, he was still so sweet.

'Alright, let's sit and eat,' he smiled. Sitting down on the mountain of blankets and pillows, he didn't even think about his aching body anymore, just so happy to see Gabby smile. It was a nice change after he knew what he had put her through again this night and morning.

'Shay helped me pick the sushi, all the things you like,'

'She helped you set all of this up?' Gabby asked in awe. There was a ton of food on the table and with all the blankets, pillows and candles it was super cozy.

'Yeah, I was a little nervous about calling her, but she was happy to help,'

Smiling as Gabby sat down beside him, kissing him on his cheek.

'Thank you,'

'I am really sorry about the night and this morning, not sure what keeps going on my head, it's a mess – just know that I am sorry about that. I love you,' he told her as he laid his arm around her, kissing her on her temple.

'It's okay, I hate seeing you so frustrated,' she told him, taking his hand in hers. She wasn't angry with him at all, sure that he didn't want to be this frustrated.

'I know and it's something I gotta work on,'

'No, you have the right to be frustrated with everything that has happened,'

'Just know that I never want to hurt you with anything I say, my head is a mess but something I do know for sure is that I love you,'

Kissing him, she looked at all the food on the table, eagerly taking the chopsticks now.

'Let's eat while it's fresh,'

'You gonna need to teach me, Gabs,'

'You really never had it?'

'I am just a simple guy from the south side that never dabbled in sushi,' he admitted.

'Ever used chopsticks,'

'Not even going to try without my right hand,' Matt admitted. Nodding, she picked up one of the rolls and held it out to him.

'Please don't poke me up my nose,' he joked, happily eating the roll.

'It's nice'

'Right?!' she smiled, so happy that this was their evening now after the difficult night and morning they had had.

Two hours later, watching a movie as Matt had dozed off after dinner, he laid with his head on her lap. Caressing over his head, she saw the large scar in between his hair that was growing back now. As much as she had been upset with him this morning, all of that was gone. He had done all of this to surprise her.

He rolled over just a bit and yawned, opening his eyes just a bit.

'Hey, you finished the last sushi?'

'Yeah, you sure you don't want anything else?'

'Not so hungry now I do nothing more than sleep,' he said, sharing a kiss with Gabby as he sat up.

'Gabby, I told you today I wanted to be alone, not because I didn't want you here or really wanted to be alone. I don't want you to put your life on hold for me with the firefighter training coming up,' he admitted.

'I know, but really Matt, I have been training for this all my life. It's gonna be fine, plus besides, soon I will have a handsome lieutenant to help me out when he is feeling well enough,' she told him with a wink.

'Wouldn't call Kelly handsome but whatever floats your boat,' he teased her.

'You know I mean you,' she assured him, even though he was joking.

'Kelly would be of much more help than I am right now,'

'Don't say that, I want your help and your help only,' she said as she pushed him over and laid against him.

Wrapping his arm around her, he kissed her on top of her head.

'Do you want to move to bed?'

'No, I don't want to move, not with you right here,' he said softly.

'Still gonna be with you in bed,' she said as she turned up her head to face him.

'I know, I just really like this,' he told her. Wrapping his arms around her, she felt safe in his arms as well. Especially after almost losing him and seeing him like that in the hospital, her worries about how he would come out of the surgery, the medical induced coma and the stroke, she knew that even with their frustrations and worries, both of them had to thank all the lucky stars they were still here together.