The Forbidden Forest, 1975

After curfew, they sneaked out of the castle and headed down to the Forest. It was easy—they had done it a million times before.

The four of them remained under James' cloak until they reached the tree line—a tight squeeze, now that they were fifth years. Sirius had had a growth spurt, and it took a particular amount of crouching and cuddling to keep everyone's feet out of sight. They would not usually take so much care once they'd left the castle walls, but tonight was important; they couldn't take even the slightest risk of being seen.

Their steaming breaths mingled under the cloak; Peter flashed a brotherly grin at James and Sirius, who responded in kind. It was the coldest night of the year thus far, but adrenaline and anticipation warmed them against the growing November chill. Remus was already looking ill. The full moon was coming soon; its pale swell loomed above them, bare branches crossing it like cracks in a porcelain bowl.

About fifty yards beyond the tree line, they stopped by a large rock at the base of a tree, perhaps a rejected stone from when the castle had been built. They sat Remus on the rock and stood in a line before him; James ruffled his hair with one hand and had buried the other in his pocket. Sirius appeared relaxed—his arms were loosely crossed—but his fingers were drumming out an anxious beat on his upper arm. Peter was dancing from foot to foot, not bothering to hide his excited smile; he peered back and forth between James and Remus as if waiting for a signal. He apparently received one, for he drew his wand and waved it. The rustling forest noises were silenced, cocooning them in a bubble of pleasant stillness.

"What's this all about?" Remus said warily. He knew all too well how often a spontaneous excursion like this would end in what anyone else would call 'catastrophe,' but what James and Sirius called 'Saturday night'.

"Now, don't be mad," James was still ruffling his hair, but without his usual careful tousle; He was practically tugging it from the root. Yet he was grinning.
Remus immediately put his face in his hands. "Oh Merlin, what have you done?"

But when he looked up again, James wasn't there. Instead he saw Sirius and Peter, both laughing uproariously and pointing at something beside him.

An enormous, elegant stag was prancing—there was no other word for it—in a rather inelegant, unstaglike way. It cantered in a circle around Remus, then came close and licked him on the face; Remus suspected the breath of most stags would not smell like the Peppermint Humbugs they had eaten in the common room before sneaking out. "But how—"

A massive black shape obscured Remus' vision, crashing into his lap like a sack of wet sand. Remus fought for purchase, but the weight of the thing caused him to tumble from the rock and onto the damp forest floor. He stared-half-amazed, half-terrified-into the slobbering face of a thickly-furred dog.

Over the shaggy head, a small brown rat arose between the dog's ears. It peered down at him curiously with shiny black eyes, then ran down the dog's snout and onto Remus' chest. After a moment of further consideration, the rat stretched up and nipped Remus' nose. Apparently satisfied, it hopped up and scurried over his face; feather-light whiskers tickled his ear and tiny paws deftly pulled leaves from his tangled hair. Remus threw the rat off and sat up in time to see the black dog shift; its bones cracked and lengthened and the fur smoothed into skin and fabric. Shortly, Sirius was standing before him, looking quite unfazed by the whole business.

Remus paled, if possible, even further. "What the hell have you done?!"

Sirius gave Remus an accusatory look, as if Remus were acting dense on purpose. "We did what we promised, Moony!"

"I can't believe it." Remus flopped back onto the forest floor, displacing leaves and twigs."We know! You made it quite clear all along that you didn't believe we could do it.""I can't believe it. How did you—? I don—I don't understand—"

"You don't have to!" It was James; the antlers and bristly fur were withdrawing back into his skull. "All you have to do is let us help you."

Remus rose up on his elbows and his mouth opened, poised to respond; it closed just as quickly. After a confused pause, he tried again. "Help me?"

The skittering rat grew large and sprouted blond hair; all at once Peter was sitting nearby on a bed of dead leaves, twisting one in his now-human fingers. "By coming along with you during the full moon, of course." His nose was still twitching.

They had explained this in second year when they had first had they idea to become Animagi, but Remus had never taken them seriously. Whether it was because Remus didn't want to get his hopes up or because he thought it couldn't be done, they had never been sure.

"But you'll get in trouble!"

"Oh yeah," Sirius rolled his eyes. "We've never been in trouble before, have we? Don't want to start now."

"I mean in real trouble," Remus said, frowning. "With the law."

"Worth it," James shrugged. Peter nodded.

"Completely worth it!" Sirius added. "Did you see how incredible we all look? And you must know how it feels."

Remus turned his head very slowly toward Sirius. "Sorry?"

"You know, how it feels to be in an animal's skin," Sirius lifted his own hands and turned them, admiring their silhouette against the moonlight. "To feel that freedom. That instinctive pull." His eyes were two white gleams in the bluish darkness. "No human limitations—and total anonymity. I could walk right into the girls' lavatory and all they'd do is coo over me and rub my belly."

He leapt up onto the rock Remus had vacated and stretched his hands up to the moon. When he turned his grey gaze down at them, he looked like a dark fae prince.

James smirked and waved a dismissive hand, but Peter's eyes were shining with excitement.

"So in tune with nature," Sirius continued. "You can smell every tree, every blade of grass—and far more animal shit than I'd care to." Another peal of chuckles came up from Peter and James. "Like I said, you know how it feels."

"I... don't think I do, actually." Remus sounded strangled. He crossed his arms tightly across his chest and turned his head to look out into the forest, avoiding his friends' eyes; if anything, this only urged Sirius to continue.

"The power in your legs—four of them, which is quite weird. Everything's stronger...and bigger, of course." Looking down from his height, he gave a sleazy smile, which still managed to make him look rakish. "Especially James' enormous stag c—"

"Stop it."

The laughter trailed off; Sirius looked mildly irked. He hopped off the rock easily; he didn't even waver on the landing. "What's the matter, Moony? Can't handle a little anatomy lesson?"

Remus' s arms were knotted so tightly he appeared to be vibrating with strain. His fists were curled into tight balls beneath his elbows, pressed hard against his ribs. When he finally spoke, his voice was low and sharp. "You don't have any idea what you're talking about."

Sirius' s eyebrows twitched upward. He shot an uncertain look at James, who looked humbled and mildly embarrassed, and Peter, whose face contracted into a wince.

"Do you really think that choosing to become an Animagus is the same thing as being bitten? As being forced to change?"

It was deathly silent; they might have heard the crinkle of leaves and creaking of branches beyond the boundary of Peter's charm. Remus had always borne his friends' offhand—and often off-color—comments about his condition with his usual self-deprecating style, but Sirius had hit a nerve. It was quite another thing to act like transforming willingly bore any resemblance to what Remus had gone through, and was still going through, and would go through for the rest of his life. The exhilaration from earlier had rushed out of the space; now Remus was prickling with anger and defensiveness.

"If you really think that running around in your puppy dog body while you maintain almost perfect retention of your human consciousness is truly identical to having your humanity ripped away by the jaws of a monster—" He caught himself there, breathing hard.

Remus hadn't exactly yelled, but he had never before raised his voice to them in anger. It seemed deafeningly loud, as if it were echoing around in the invisible dome of the spell. After his breathing slowed, his voice came out softer, but still tight with frustration and anguish.

"If that's what you think…" He shrugged weakly and upturned his palms.

"Of course not," James cut in smoothly. He sat next to Remus, nudging him over with a hip and draping an arm around him. "Sirius got a bit…overenthusiastic. We were all excited to show you." He shot a glare at Sirius, who quailed. However briefly, the real reason they had done it at all had been forgotten; their guts burned with shame.

James went on. "The point is we did this for you." He glanced up at Peter and Sirius, who both nodded heartily.

"Absolutely," Peter said dutifully."Why would we put ourselves through actual studying and hard work if not for our mate?" Sirius joked timidly, offering a truce in one sheepish smile.

Remus' s shoulders relaxed. "But…why?"

The fragile smiles turned genuine; amused and relieved in equal measure. It was strange that, after all this time, Remus could not accept the simple fact that this was What Friends Did. Although learning to transform into animals and getting to be friends with an actual werewolf were certainly bonuses.

"Why wouldn't we?" James smiled. "You're our mate, and it's a laugh to spend time mucking about in the forest with you. This way, we can handle the wolf, and you don't have to be all by yourself having no fun three nights out of the month."

Like the first rays of dawn on the horizon, a weak smile broke over Remus's scarred face. "I—thanks. No one's ever really done anything like this for me before, not in all the time I've been this way."

Remus usually demurred when his condition came up at all, unless he was making some soft-spoken joke about fleas or PMS (pre-Moony syndrome); they had never discussed the particulars of his bite. All they knew was that it had happened before Remus had come to Hogwarts.

"And how long has that been?" Peter said lightly, shooting Sirius and James a sideways glance. "I mean, you never told us…"

Surely Remus knew he could trust them. He had, in fact, for three years now. They had done this all for stilled; for a moment he looked like a cornered rabbit. His eyes darted past his friends, into the darkness of the forest. He drew his knees up to his chin and stared down at the tips of his shoes, barely blinking. Perhaps Remus was replaying arguments and insecurities on a screen in his head; a newsreel full of fond memories with his friends, weighed against the tragic images of his mysterious trauma.

It had not been easy; three solid years of study, even during the summer and Christmas holidays. Hours upon hours were spent studying transfiguration theory and animal skeletons. Once or twice they'd even gone to Professor McGonagall; Peter had tried to ask her about human transfiguration, but she had just given him a stern look that suggested she was not going to let any mischief get past her and dismissed his questions as "far beyond the abilities of a third-year. Especially you."

James was always the one to go to her after , James leaned close to Remus. "We know this is overwhelming." Remus' s shoulders relaxed automatically; he unfolded himself and placed his feet back on the forest floor, although his arms stayed crossed. Sirius was pitched forward, rapt, always looking ahead to the endgame.

"We're here for you. Please." James ruffled Remus' s hair. "You don't need to keep any more secrets."Remus' s resolve was weakening; James could lead even the most stubborn horse to water and convince it to drink the pond dry. Even so, Peter felt a small glow of pride. Sure, James had made the final stroke, but Peter had eased their way.

They all leaned forward slightly. Their breathing slowed and became inaudible white puffs in the dark, their ears straining and waiting for Remus to go on."Look." When Remus met their eyes, his own were glimmering wetly. He wiped across his face with a sleeve. "I wouldn't be saying this if it wasn't a really big fucking deal that you guys did this for me." He met each of their eyes—the intensity in his gaze made them avert their eyes awkwardly. "I fucking love all of you, you know that? Bloody idiots."

"Bloody geniuses, I think you mean," Sirius said.

Remus laughed and sniffed deeply. "All right. I'll tell you."

He inhaled."When I was four, my dad crossed a werewolf—a bad one—while he was working at the Ministry. Fenrir Greyback. He killed two muggle kids, but they couldn't find any evidence to hold him. My dad was…disappointed when Fenrir got off clean. Furious, really. He said some nasty stuff—he won't even tell me, it was that bad. Greyback was really insulted and wanted revenge, I suppose. So—"Here, Remus' s voice caught."So he came to our house. I was in bed already, and the moon was about to rise. He timed it perfectly—brilliant, really. He sneaked in as a man, then transformed in my room. By the time my dad heard me screaming…it was too late."

They exchanged a sickly look. Maybe they'd gone too far; some things can be too personal. But what had they expected?

"My dad got him out with some amazing spellwork. That's what they said, anyway. I was unconscious. Blood loss, you know." He was trying to seem matter-of-fact, but he shuddered. "He—he was going to steal me, I think. If my dad hadn't gotten there in time…I don't know where I'd be now."They sat in silence, in solidarity, for several minutes."What happened to…to the werewolf?" Peter ventured."Greyback?" Remus forced the name out. "He's still alive, somewhere."

"Bloody hell," Sirius breathed. "We had no idea."

"How could you have?" Remus shrugged.

A moment passed between the four friends, like a long exhale after a difficult exam.

Remus—though still ill and exhausted-looking—seemed more alert, and even managed a small smile when he met Peter's gaze.

Sirius turned to Remus with a familiar gleam in his eye. "Want a ride?"

Remus looked up, eyes narrowed, but his reply was replaced with a laugh when he saw the stag standing expectantly at his side.