Promise to Love Me, Even When You Hate Me

Chapter 10

An hour later Kate stood at Dutchy's front door trying to think of a way to get them back on track, she was going to have to apologise or else she had made a fool of herself for nothing. She lifted her hand to knock but stopped as she watched it shake uncontrollably. She shook her head and flexed her fingers trying to make it stop. She knocked three times and brushed off her dress as Dutchy opened the door.

"Oh, what are you doing here?"

She was about to speak when the door opened wider, a purple haired older woman stood in the doorway, she reminded Kate of someone's hip granny.

"Dylan, that's no way to greet anyone, little own a beautiful woman!"

She smacked him over the head and grabbed Kate's hand and pulled her into the house.

"I'm Frankie, and you are?"

Kate looked back at Dutchy who shook his head and shut the door.

"Oh, I'm Kate..."

Frankie's eyes lit up, and she grasped Kate's hand tighter.

"Oh, you're Kate, Dylan has been telling me all about you..."

Dylan's eyes widened as he glared at Frankie begging her to stop.

"Frankie!"

Frankie rolled her eyes and pulled Kate toward the table.

"Come, sit, I've just baked some scones..."

Kate sat down trying to make eye contact with Dutchy, but his eyes were firmly focused on the cup of coffee in front of him.

Frankie placed her hand on Kate's drawing her attention.

"So, you're Dylan's Boss, yeah?"

"Ah, kind of, there's the CO, he's the real boss..."

"Right, so why won't you just relax around my favourite boy here? He's so sweet, I know he looks like a bit of a, well, you know, macho, tough, pretty boy, but he really is a lovely person..."

Dutchy cleared his throat and grit his teeth slamming his hand on the table.

"Frankie! Stop!"

Frankie laughed and shoved the plate of scones towards him.

"You eat dear, while the girls have a serious talk."

He let out a grunt and sat there sulking like a child, he pulled the plate of scones towards him knowing he wasn't going to win. Frankie focused her attention back on Kate and smiled sweetly.

"So?"

"Frankie, we have rules on the ship..."

Frankie smirked as she placed a scone on a plate for Kate and handed it to her.

"So, what if there weren't any rules?"

Kate sighed as she took the plate from her.

"Frankie, look Dylan and I are friends…"

"Really? He seems to think that you don't want to be his friend."

Dutchy opened his mouth to object but Frankie picked up a scone from the pile and shoved it into his mouth, Kate couldn't help but giggle.

"Well, actually, he was the one that said that I wasn't interested, that I only felt sorry for him."

"And is that true?"

"No, I see the person he really is, well, I hope I see the person he is."

"Good..."

Frankie patted her hand and rose from the table.

"Well, I must be off, I hope to see more of you!"

Kate smiled and gave her a nod.

"Me too..."

Frankie kissed Dutchy on the forehead and pinched his cheek.

"Be nice..."

Frankie left leaving Kate and Dutchy at a silent stand still, Kate couldn't make eye contact with him, she fiddled with the spoon in the jam pot.

"Ah, who was that?"

Dutchy glanced up to her for a moment trying to gauge whether or not she was annoyed.

"Ah, she's my neighbour..."

Kate hesitated, she expected her to be a relation seeming she was so blunt.

"Oh, I thought she was like, your nana, or something?"

"Well, kinda, surrogate, she's claimed me as a grandson, but she's a good lady, I look out for her and she looks out for me."

There was another pause in the conversation, Kate glanced over to him and they caught each other's eye for a split second.

"Anyway, I came to apologise, and well, I dunno, I shouldn't have put you in that position, I'm your superior."

Dutchy let out a sigh and grabbed another scone and picked at it.

"So, I was right? You just felt sorry for me?"

She reached over and placed her hand on top of his.

"No, not at all, I just feel that I can talk to you…"

"So what are you saying? Because back on Samaru, I thought you were going to…"

Dutchy hesitated, he looked down at her hand on top of his confused by her actions. He was still concerned that her potential feelings for him were being swayed by his story. Kate took a deep breath in, she knew the only way to get him to trust her was to tell him her story, the whole story, the dark part of her life that made her the way she was.

"You shared something personal with me and I don't want you to keep thinking our connection is based on sympathy... I mean, it helps us understand each other, but it's not the reason for my feelings. A wise woman once said, boundaries don't keep other people out, they fence you in. So you can waste your life drawing lines or you can live your life crossing them."

Dutchy grinned knowing the quote, he interrupted her and continued.

"But, if you're willing to throw caution to the wind, and take a chance then view from the other side… is spectacular."

He dipped his finger in the cream and dotted it on the end of her nose, Kate rolled her eyes and wiped it off, he squeezed her hand and glanced back at her.

"So, how do we let down the boundaries?"

Kate exhaled sharply as she placed her scone back on the plate, she looked up to Dutchy who's eyes were firmly fixated on her.

"Well, I could start with the whole truth about my ex…"

Dutchy's eyes darted around the room, what more could there be? He stabbed her, that was traumatic enough.

"Kate, you don't have too…"

"No, I want to… so, I wasn't the real target, my father was…"

She didn't know if she could bring herself to say it, Dutchy moved closer and gave her a reassuring smile.

"He, umm, my..."

"Kate, it's okay, if you don't..."

"He killed my parents..."

She blurted it out as if it was nothing, Dutchy sat there frozen, he had no idea how to respond, of even if he should. Kate continued seeing he was lost for words.

"I was only 22, he dated me to get to my dad, who was in the navy. I came home and found them, he was waiting for me…"

Dutchy's mind was still trying to comprehend her previous statement. Kate placed her hand over her collarbone and traced her finger over her scar. There was silence for a moment, she tried to compose herself, if she was going to go this far she needed to make sure it hooked him completely.

"I tell myself that he couldn't kill me because on some level he did really care for me, but who knows."

Tears rolled down her cheeks, Dutchy slowly reached out and cupped her cheek with his hand. She looked into his eyes knowing he felt something, but she needed to make sure, beyond a doubt, that he would fall for her, she exhaled and continued.

"After Daniel, I found it incredibly hard to trust anyone. I attempted a relationship a couple of years later, we were friends, we actually worked together, so I thought it would be the safest option. Deep down I knew that I wasn't ready, but this guy, he was sweet and he adored me. I thought, if I can't love this guy who would do anything for me, then who could I love? Anyway, I couldn't do it, and I let it go on for too long. I broke it off 6 months later, I hurt him, he was so angry. I completely understood, and I didn't blame him, it was my fault, but I really didn't mean to let it get that far. I just, I have never been able to trust my judgement since. I don't know what it is about you, but you make me feel like… well… me, it sounds stupid but…"

Dutchy was still shocked by her story, he wanted to hug her and never let her go, but instead he shifted his chair closer and gently placed his hand on her arm.

"Kate, I feel the same way. I don't know how to explain it, I mean is this crazy? We barely know each other, but I feel like I can be honest with you, and I don't know why, no matter how much you annoy me…"

He glanced up at her smiling, she could feel her cheeks burn.

"Dylan, I don't really understand how I'm feeling but…"

Kate rose from her chair feeling self-conscious, she had never had to delve this deep, it was harder than she thought. She dragged her hands over her face and through her hair.

"Maybe this is crazy?"

She glanced back over to him hoping that he would take the bait. He walked over to her not breaking eye contact, Kate's heart raced as he brushed the stray hairs away from her eyes.

"Kate, I know that there's a lot a stake here, but I know you wouldn't be saying these things or even thinking these things unless you felt something… unless you thought I felt something."

He swallowed hard and reached out and intertwined his hand with hers, she could hear her heart beat as she slowly leaned towards him. Their lips met, and a shiver ran down her body, she sunk into the kiss, it felt so natural. For a second she got lost in the moment, she felt a lump form in her throat, she had never felt this way kissing someone before, she panicked and pulled away. She opened her eyes and placed her fingers at her lips.

"Sorry, I..."

"It's okay..."

She dropped her head slightly, Dutchy held his grip on her hand.

"Dutchy, I can't promise you anything, and I think we're forgetting the rules…"

"I get it, this is a huge step, but Kate, if this is, well, something, and I think it is, I think we should give it a real shot and we'll figure it out as we go."

He gave her hand a squeeze and walked into the kitchen, Kate took a few deep breaths in, she would normally be over the moon, but again, her victory didn't feel quite right. She placed a smile on her face as Dutchy returned holding an envelope.

"I was actually going to come and see you today anyway…"

He handed her the envelope, she opened it and held the photo close to her face. Dutchy smiled as she inspected the photo closer, it was a picture of a man holding a puppy.

"My apology..."

Kate scrunched her face still not understanding the connection.

"She's coming home…"

"What?"

"I arranged for her to be transported back to Australia, she'll have to spend some time in quarantine, but then she'll be ours…"

Kate glanced back down to the photo then back to Dutchy not sure whether she should thank him or curse his name.

"Dylan, what are we going to do with a dog when we're out at sea?"

"Frankie has offered to look after her."

"So, we have a dog together? That's not taking it slow…"

Dutchy winced hoping it wasn't going to be too much.

"Well, I didn't really mean it like that, but..."

Kate shook her head at herself realising the connection with what she saw on Samaru.

"So that's why you were with the guy at the sheds with the crate and the money?"

Kate froze and mentally kicked herself, she had admitted to spying on him. Dutchy frowned a little and titled his head.

"Ah, how did you know that?"

"Oh, yeah, sorry, I thought something dodgy was going down, then I realised it was you and was embarrassed."

"Right…"

Kate went to walk away but Dutchy pulled her back towards him.

"So, we're really doing this?"

She smiled nervously.

"Let's not put a label on it, I don't do well with labels..."

Her phone vibrated in her pocket, she pulled it out and checked the senders ID.

"Ah, I've got some stuff to do this arvo but…"

"Maybe we can hang out tomorrow, maybe even take you out on a date?"

Kate swallowed hard, this was the part she hadn't thought through. Acting venerable and standoffish wasn't hard because that was the real her, but now she needed to participate in a real relationship, something she knew nothing about.

"Ah, yeah, sure…"

He leaned in giving her a kiss on the lips, it surprised her and she flinched a little. Dutchy tried not to feel hurt by her reaction, he needed the remember the trauma she had been through and not overwhelm her.

"Sorry, Kate…"

"No, it's okay, really."

She tried to put on a convincing smile, something else she was going to have to get used to, random acts of affection. She headed to the door and turned before leaving

"I'll, umm, I'll talk to you later, okay?"

She didn't wait for a response, she raced to her car, scared that he was going to kiss her again. She pulled her phone from her pocket and dialed Shaun's phone number.

"You wanted me to call?"

"Holy crap, you blow my mind! I don't know how you did it, well actually, I do, cos I've been listening. But you have managed to go from enemies to friends to lovers in 3 weeks, you cease to amaze me! You're a dark horse, Kate. You watch, in another 4 weeks he'll be telling you he loves you…"

Kate closed her eyes, she hoped not, she actually felt terrible about deceiving him, but she couldn't let anyone know that.

"Ah, yeah, I can't believe you didn't think I could do this!"

"Yup, you can say I told you so, but now the real work begins. Make sure you get a copy of his hard drive, try and find if he's got a home office or something, filing cabinet, a safe…"

"Yeah, yeah, just slow down, Shaun."

"Well, I'll let you get on with your day, big date tomorrow! Great work!"

Kate hung up the phone and leaned her head on the steering wheel and exhaled.

"Shit…"

The next morning Kate awoke to the message tone of her phone, she rolled on to her side and lifted her phone, the message contained a picture of the puppy and a message from Dutchy.

"She's landed…"

Kate smiled and replaced the phone on her bedside table and rolled back over, it beeped again, she ignored it, but it beeped again. Letting out a groan she sat up and picked it up again, she squinted as the bright light met her eyes.

"We have to think of a name…"

"Thor?"

"Lightening?"

She laughed and shook her head as she replied.

"They're not very girly…"

"Well, let me in and we can brainstorm…"

She frowned reading the message, a knock at her door startled her, she threw back the covers and ran down the stairs and swung open the door.

"Don't you have anyone else to annoy?"

A huge grin crossed his face as she pushed past her into her house.

"Nope…"

He flopped on to her couch making himself comfortable.

"So, you got a better suggestion?"

She shook her head as she closed the door and made her way into the lounge room.

"Err…"

"Okay, well we can think about it, but in the meantime we need to get supplies…"

"Supplies?"

"Yeah, puppy things…"

He grabbed her hands and dragged her out he door towards the door, she put on the breaks and stopped.

"Can I at least get dressed first?"

They wandered through the aisles of their local pet store, Dutchy chucked every type of toy and treat into the trolley.

"Ah, do we really need all of this?"

"Yes, do you want it to destroy everything in the house?"

"Hey, it's staying at your house, so no skin off my nose..."

Dutchy walked over to the rack of dog coats and flicked through the garments.

"Omg, look at these!"

He held up a fleecy pink jacket, Kate rolled her eyes and snatched the coat away from him and placed it back on the rack.

"No!"

He picked it back up from the rack and waved it in her face.

"But look how cute it is!"

She rolled her eyes and placed it back on the rack.

"We live in Cairns, it doesn't need a winter jacket."

A sales assistant approached and smiled politely.

"Do you guys need a hand with anything?"

Dutchy glanced over to Kate and grinned.

"Ah, so we're adopting a puppy and we need everything..."

"Cool, is this your first?"

Kate frowned a little at her use of words.

"You make it sound like we're having a baby…"

"Well, a lot of couples get a dog before they start a family, kinda like a test run I guess…"

Kate laughed nervously.

"Really?"

2 hours later Kate and Dutchy arrived back at his house, they walked in the front door carrying multiple bags.

"That was exhausting!"

Kate flopped onto the couch and leaned herself against the arm,

Dutchy plonked himself next to her. Kate couldn't help but shift her body, she shook her head as she realised what she was doing.

"Sorry, I guess this is gonna take some getting used to…"

"Are you sure that you want this?"

"Dutchy, I…"

"Sorry, Kate, I know it's hard sneaking around, but I don't wanna put any more pressure on you…"

"You're not, I put pressure on myself…"

Dutchy picked up the remote and flicked over to Netflix, Kate shuffled closer and slowly leaned against his shoulder. He smiled and wrapped his arm around her.

"What season are you up to?"

Her eyes lit up as she looked over to the TV screen.

"So you're finally going to admit that you watch it?"

He rolled his eyes and let out a groan.

"Yeah, okay, it's my dirty little secret, are you happy?"

Kate smiled satisfied.

"Ecstatic… and, Season 5…"

"Seriously? Me too!"

She raised an eyebrow not believing him.

"Would I lie to you?"

Kate stiffened, she didn't know, Dutchy noticed her strange expression.

"Ah, the answer you're looking for is no…"

"Oh, of course… now shh, and press play!"

He squeezed her a little and wriggled his body further into the couch to get comfortable.

He pressed play, the episode began with Meredith waiting for Derek in her house of candles, Kate let out a sigh.

"Oh my god, that house of candles thing…"

Dutchy let out a scoff at her swooning.

"Seriously? Never pictured you as a mushy, giant gesture of love kind of person."

Kate wrinkled her nose, she normally wasn't, but this go to her. She gave him a playful shove and leaned back into his nook. Her phone dug into her side as she tried to get cozy, she fished it out and chucked it on the coffee table.

Meredith waited for Derek, the candles slowly started to go out one by one, he didn't return. Meredith ran into the hospital, Christina and the Chief stopped her, Christina grabbed her by the shoulders.

"You need to prepare yourself…"

Kate gasped as he body tensed up, Dutchy let out a laugh as he felt her hand grasp his leg.

"No, don't tell me!"

He watched her face as it morphed though the stages of emotion as the scene played out, Derek lay bloodied on a gurney as Miranda attempted CPR on him. Kate's eyes widened and she let out a pained squeal as Miranda stopped compressions.

"You can't be serious…"

Kate felt Dutchy's eyes on her and glanced up to meet his intrigued stare.

"What?"

"You surprise me every day. Who knew below the tough unforgiving XO there was a..."

She glared in his direction.

"Chose your words wisely Petty Officer..."

"A girl..."

Kate let out a grunt of disapproval, her eyes focused back on the TV as Meredith woke from her dream, she let out a sigh of relief and clutched her chest.

"Thank god!"

Her phone beeped, Dutchy let out a groan and reached for it.

"Don't tell me, we've been..."

He glanced at the sender ID and frowned.

"Shaun?"

For a moment Kate had forgotten about her other life, she bolted upright and attempted to snatch the phone from his grip, he pulled it back out of her reach.

"Who's Shaun? And how does he know we're watching Grey's Anatomy?"

A million excuses swirled around in her mind but none connected with her mouth, she looked back towards Dutchy, he sat there staring at her, waiting for her answer.

"Kate?"

End of Chapter 10.