Promise to Love Me, Even When You Hate Me.

Chapter 14.

Kate headed to Dutchy's house, she wanted to make sure it was clean and organised for when he came home. It was also an opportunity to have a thorough look around knowing that he wouldn't come home and interrupt her. She went to unlock the door, but it flung open causing her to jump backwards, Frankie stood at the door holding the puppy, she pulled Kate in for a hug.

"Kate! I just heard what happened! Is he okay?"

She nodded as Frankie gave her another squeeze.

"Yeah, he's okay, he has to stay in overnight for observation…"

Frankie sighed with relief and lifted the puppy in front of her face.

"See! I told you Daddy would be fine!"

She rolled her eyes at herself as she passed her to Kate.

"And yes, I have been talking to the puppy!"

Kate smiled and gave her a cuddle.

"Yeah, she's a good listener!"

Frankie ushered her into the house.

"Come in, come in, you must be tired…"

She nodded and went to put her bag in the lounge room, she stood there for a moment to gather her thoughts, but all her mind could do was picture Dutchy lying in a pool of blood. She dropped her bag beside her and burst into tears, Frankie ran over to her and wrapped her arms around her.

"Oh, Kate, are you okay?"

She nodded as she wiped the tears from her cheeks.

"I feel so silly, I don't even know why I'm crying…"

"Why don't you come and sit down, it's been a long day, I'll make you a cuppa…"

Kate sat on the couch holding the puppy, she licked the tears that fell from her eyes. Frankie sat next to her and placed a cup of tea in front of her and rubbed her back concerned about her tears. Kate waved her hands in the air in between wiping away the tears.

"Just ignore me…"

"Well, it must have been so hard seeing him injured and you would have had to act all, well, professional…"

Kate wrinkled her face, Frankie was right, but it also confirmed her fears, that she had genuine had feelings for him. Taking a few deep breaths in she tried to deny the obvious.

"Yeah but, I see things like this all the time, well, not things exactly like this but, you know what I mean?"

"Yes, but I think this is a bit different?"

Kate sniffed and continued to wipe away the tears.

"How?"

"Well, were those people your friends?"

She shook her head as Frankie handed her a tissue.

"Kate, you don't need to make excuses, your boyfriend was hurt, and when someone you love is hurt, our bodies react…"

Kate hesitated, Frankie said the unspeakable word.

"Love?"

Frankie nodded as she sipped on her tea.

"Yes, dear, it's obvious, he's head over heels. I've seen him with girls and, well, he's different with you... Don't you feel the same?"

Kate picked up the cup and took a sip avoiding the question, Frankie could see she was hesitant, she patted her hand as she rose from the chair.

"Well, I've got some errands to run, are you going to be okay?"

Kate nodded as she swallowed her mouthful, Frankie gave Kate's shoulder a squeeze.

"You call me if you need anything, okay?"

Frankie waved as she shut the door. Kate shook her head and rubbed her hands over her face, her phone rang, she looked at the caller ID and frowned as she picked up the phone.

"Shaun, what do you want?"

"Warren told me what happened, how you told them about us..."

"Yes, but it wasn't the truth..."

"Pretty bloody close though! Maybe we should pull the plug?"

"No, it's fine! I want to find out the truth, how you going with the witness?"

"Ah, so, that's the other reason I was calling, bad news I'm afraid, he's done a runner…"

"What? So, what's happening with the case?"

"Well, it's up to you to find the evidence…"

"Shaun, I've told you, I haven't found any!"

"Okay, well, maybe another test then…"

"I have! We were out today, there was a boat full of stolen property, I handed him an expensive watch and nothing, he put it back…"

"Right, well, he's not going to just take it in front of everyone…"

"C'mon give me some credit, I made sure the others weren't around and I walked away from him giving him every opportunity…"

There was silence on the other end of the phone.

"Shaun?"

"How sure are you that he's innocent?"

"Pretty sure…"

"You're willing to stake your career on that?"

Kate hesitated, when he put it like that, she wasn't sure.

"Kate?"

"Give me a bit more time, I'm alone in his house tonight."

"Okay, I trust you, Kate… whatever you decide…"

She hung up the phone and walked into Dutchy's bedroom and sighed, her feelings aside, she needed to find the truth.

3 hours later she had gone over his house with a fine-tooth comb, she had found no evidence of anything suspicious. She flopped back onto the couch unsure how to feel. She was relieved, but it still worried her that there had been a witness, everything else indicated he was innocent. The next issue were her feelings, if he was innocent it was okay to feel the way she did about him, but how would their relationship continue? If she were to tell him everything she was sure he wouldn't understand and he'd probably break it off.

Curling herself into a ball she lay on the couch thinking about a way out, a way to leave without crushing him. Her eyes caught a glimpse of a photo album on the shelf of his bookcase, she got up and retrieved it. As she sat back on the couch, the puppy scratched at her leg, she leaned down and picked her up.

"Don't tell Daddy I'm letting you on the couch."

She placed the puppy in her lap and opened the album, a smile grew on her face as she flicked through the pages. The first few pages were of an adolescent Dutchy on the farm, then the next few were of his graduation from ADFA and his first patrol. She looked closely at the photos of his crew trying to see if she recognised anyone, luckily she didn't. As she flipped page on page she noticed his smile became less and less radiant, it didn't return until she found pictures of him on Hammersley. She flipped back to check the faces of the crew and realised that he's fading smile must have been around the time that his Boarding Officer had been killed. She scanned the photos looking for his ill-fated friend and found two pictures with an identical crew, bar one, she looked up from the album and around the house for anymore photos of the missing face. She spotted one on the mantle, she rose from the couch holding the puppy and grabbed the photo and compared them, they matched. Letting out a sigh she placed the photo back into the album and placed the frame on the coffee table, she wondered how close they were, how much he had hid his pain. She held the puppy up to her face and smiled.

"You're lucky you're a dog, life is complicated…"

The next evening Kate collected Dutchy from the hospital, she had barely slept thinking about her future, their future. Dutchy tilted his head as he looked over to her.

"You're quiet…"

Kate put on a smile but focused on the road ahead.

"Oh, yeah, umm, just tired I guess…"

They pulled into the driveway and quickly exited the car and grabbed his bag from the boot.

"So, Frankie has made us like, a years worth of scones..."

Dutchy hobbled up the path on his crutches.

"Aww, is she okay? She'd be worried..."

"Yeah, she actually calmed me down..."

She opened the door, the puppy ran up to them wiggling it's whole body, Kate leaned down and picked her up.

"Look, Daddy's home…"

The puppy squirmed and licked at Dutchy's arm, Dutchy leaned the crutches on the wall and took her from Kate and gave her a kiss.

"So, has she got a name yet?"

"No, but they reckon that you should spend some time getting to know the puppy before we name it…"

She rubbed her nose against the puppy's, Dutchy looked over to her and smiled, she tilted her head at his gaze.

"What?"

He reached out and held her hand, she tensed up, she knew that look, Warren looked at her the same way before he confessed his feelings.

"Kate, I…"

He was interrupted by a warm sensation running down his side, the puppy had peed on him from excitement, he held the puppy out in front of him.

"Oh, c'mon…"

Kate couldn't help but laugh, she took the puppy from him and whispered in her ear.

"Good girl!"

After Dutchy had showered and changed, he nestled himself next to Kate on the couch and wrapped his arm around her.

"I love having you here, really feels like home..."

Kate nestled into his side kissing him on the neck.

"Yeah, it's nice…"

Dutchy spotted the frame on the table and sat up making Kate move herself from his nook.

"Ah, where'd that come from?"

She kicked herself, she had forgotten to put it back.

"Oh, umm… I found your photo album and, I was just..."

Dutchy got up and placed the photo back on the mantle and stared at it for a moment, Kate cleared her throat breaking his concentration.

"So, umm, who is that?"

He sat back next to her and focused on the floor.

"I think you've already figured that out…"

"It was your old boarding officer, right?"

He nodded and picked up the photo album and flicked through the pages, he stopped at the one with his crew from the gulf.

"His name was Will, I hadn't been on board for that long before it happened, he made me feel welcome and kind took me under his wing. We just clicked, and with in a few weeks we were best mates."

Dutchy exhaled sharply and slammed the photo album shut, he tossed it on the table, Kate could see that she had hit a nerve.

"Sorry, Dutchy, I didn't mean to…"

"No, it's okay…"

He leaned back on the couch and stared into space.

"I actually feel like I can talk to you about it, maybe that's the scary part…"

Kate reached out and placed a hand on his knee trying to comfort him.

"Well, I'm happy to listen, anything I can do to help."

He rose from the couch and paced the room.

"I just didn't know what to say to the shrinks, like, I feel like they don't really get it, they're not out there day in day out facing these situations."

Kate stood in front of him and held his hand hoping to calm him.

"Yeah, but Dylan, you need to remember you saved 5 other people that day…"

He flopped back on to the couch and covered his face with his hands.

"I know, but I'm not a hero, I hate that title! It's like they just forgot about Will, like those 5 people make up for him dying, or that me saving 5 people excuses me for not having his back… do you know how he died?"

Kate was too scared to respond, she shook her head ever so slightly.

"His throat was cut, like an animal…"

Dutchy shook his head trying to shake the image away, she squeezed his hand tighter.

"It wasn't your fault, Dylan, no one could have predicted what happened…"

"I tried to write his family a letter, but I could never find the right words. I found out a couple of years ago that it was only him and his brother, his parents died in a car accident a few years before…"

"Well, I'm sure one day you will find the right words, have you ever thought about meeting his brother? Do you think that would help?"

"I don't have the guts, I just wish none of it ever happened…"

They sat there in silence for a moment, she wasn't sure if he wanted to discuss it further, she looked over to the puppy who was sleeping on the floor.

"So, umm, we still need a name..."

Dutchy sat there staring at the puppy trying to snap himself out of his mood.

"What about, Reason?"

Kate wrinkled her face.

"Huh?"

Dutchy smiled and looked over to her.

"Cos she's the reason…"

"Still not following…"

"Well, like, she's a reason to smile, a reason to come home, a reason to… love…"

Kate swallowed hard, there was that word again.

"Yeah, it's cute... It means something..."

She leaned her head on his shoulder, he kissed the top of her head and cleared his throat trying to strike up the guts to ask his next question.

"So, those guys, they weren't part of anything that you're working on?"

Kate looked over to him unimpressed, he rolled his eyes knowing he was going to be in trouble for asking.

"Hey, I can't help my curiosity..."

"No! You can't, but, umm, no, they were just dumb thieves who thought they could escape a warship in a dingy."

"Yeah well, they were smart enough to defend themselves with a fishing spear..."

"Well, you were dumb enough to go after them alone."

Dutchy waved his hands in the air surrendering.

"Okay, okay, I shouldn't have brought it up."

Kate's eyes narrowed, and she poked him on the chest with her index finger.

"No, you shouldn't have!"

Dutchy handed the remote to Kate.

"Okay, as an apology you can choose..."

She pushed the remote back towards him.

"You know what I want to watch..."

"Where are we up to?"

"Ah, episode 5..."

Kate snuggled into Dutchy's nook and tried to forget her real troubles in her fake life. 50 minutes later the episode was coming to an end and it was time for the final monologue.

Meredith voice over: The thing about choosing teams in real life, it's not like it used to be in gym class. Being first picked can be terrifying and being chosen last… isn't the worst thing in the world. So we watch from the sidelines, clinging to our isolation, because we know as soon as we let go of the bench, someone comes along and changes the game completely.

Dutchy smiled and kissed Kate on the top of her head.

"You know as much as this show is such rubbish, the monologues Meredith does are so, well, right?"

"Yeah, well, it just means they have good writers..."

Dutchy nudged her with his elbow.

"Either way, someone's got some good insights to life…"

Kate sat up and gave him a friendly shove back.

"Hey! You can't call it rubbish if you watch it voluntarily."

Dutchy rolled his eyes and cleared his throat wanting to change the subject.

"So umm, did you ever get Mike that confirmation about your position?"

Kate threw her head back and let out a groan.

"Oh, you thought you'd just slip that in there…"

Dutchy looked at her innocently, Kate exhaled sharply and folded her arms over her chest.

"Are you asking as my coworker or as my boyfriend?"

Dutchy folded his arms over his chest mirroring her expression.

"Does it matter?"

Kate knew he was trying to make light of his question, but it was a serious matter to her.

"Not really, because either way I can't involve you, if they get wind that you know anything they'll come down hard and…"

Dutchy was sick of being treated like a child, like there was no way he could understand the complications of her job.

"Seriously? Kate, I'm your boyfriend…"

"Dylan, you're not being fair, this is my job…"

He let out a huff and turned back to the TV, she pulled on his arm not wanting to argue.

"Dylan, c'mon… "

He turned off the TV and turned to face her.

"I just feel like there's a whole lot I don't know about you, and you know so much about me. I just feel like you're not letting me in, you're not giving us a chance."

Kate scrunched up her face, she tried not to be defensive but she couldn't help it.

"You know plenty about me, you know about my parents, there's only a few people who know about that."

"Kate, you know that's not what I mean..."

She knew exactly what he meant but she couldn't risk it so she stayed silent.

"Work is a big part of someone's life, and I don't know if I can be with someone who's job is a complete mystery, I mean, what if you're in danger?"

"Dutchy, we've been over this, I have a whole team on my side, I'm not..."

"You're not in danger, yeah, you've said that but… look, I guess I'd just be a lot more comfortable if I knew who these people were."

"Okay, if I set up a meeting with my boss and you and Mike, would that help?"

He nodded as she took out her phone and messaged Shaun.

"Okay, tomorrow… but for now can we just be a normal couple and sit here and watch Grey's Anatomy?"

The next morning Mike knocked on Dutchy's door, Kate swung open the door, Mike's brow creased.

"Oh, Kate, hi…"

Kate swore under her breath forgetting that she was answering Dutchy's door like a girlfriend would do.

"Ah, hi, umm, come in."

They sat at the kitchen bench, Dutchy handed Mike a cup of coffee.

"Hey, Boss…"

Mike took a sip and glanced between Kate and Dutchy, something was off, he could definitely feel some tension.

"So, umm, the guy who's coming, Shaun? He's your…"

"Ah, he's my Boss, I guess. Look, he's not that thrilled about this so keep the questions to a minimum, I just told him you guys needed confirmation…"

A knock on the door interrupted her before she could say anything else, Kate ran to the door and opened it, Shaun greeted her with a unimpressed look, he leaned in and whispered.

"This better not blow up in our faces…"

She whispered back.

"Just follow my lead…"

She closed the door and lead him into the kitchen.

"Boss, Dutchy, this Shaun…"

He smiled and gave them a nod.

"Fellas… good to meet you."

Kate smiled nervously and cleared her throat.

"So, umm, the guys just wanted a bit of confirmation about my job…"

Shaun wrapped his arm around Kate and pulled her close.

"Isn't she the best?"

Mike smiled nervously and rose from his chair.

"Ah, look not to be, umm, disrespectful, but do you have any identification?"

Shaun laughed as he took out his wallet from his back pocket.

"You're Mike, the CO, right?"

Mike nodded feeling a little uneasy about his tone, Shaun shook his hand and handed him his wallet.

"It's fine, hey, I respect you for asking…"

Mike glanced at Shaun's Naval ID and frowned as his eyes scanned the words.

"N.I.I.D?"

Shaun's eyes darted over to Kate then back at Mike.

"The Naval Internal Investigation Department."

Dutchy approached and eyeballed the ID hearing Shaun's department.

"I thought Kate said she was working for the Drug Squad?"

Kate stepped forward and took the lead.

"Ah, yeah, through the N.I.I.D…"

Dutchy's brow creased as he glanced over to Shaun.

"Internal investigation? So you think one of us is involved?"

Shaun shot Kate another disapproving look, he didn't like where these questions were heading. Kate cleared her throat grabbed Shaun's ID and handed it back to him.

"Ah, well, it was just in case, but it's all good cos I know all you guys are clean, it was best to investigate all avenues."

Kate watched as Mike and Dutchy gave each other an uneasy look, she needed to fix it, and fast.

"C'mon guys, you need to remember that a few months ago I didn't know you! I was doing my job, but it looks like out leads have gone cold…"

Shaun slapped Kate's back and laughed.

"Yeah, don't act like your sad, you hate the humidity, you can't wait to get back to Melbourne…"

Dutchy's eyes focused on Kate, she could feel his questions through his stare. Shaun noticed Kate's discomfort and wasn't impressed.

"Ah, so, anyway, we all good?"

Dutchy and Mike nodded not knowing what other option they had.

"Well, good to meet you both, I trust that we can keep this between us though? I know it's not ideal, but we can't afford for our cover to be blown, else we'll really have to come after you."

Mike and Dutchy let out a fake laugh, too concerned to say anything.

"Great! Well, I can't stay, too many bad guys, and girls, to catch!"

Shaun headed for the door, he turned before leaving.

"Oh, and Kate, I expect an updated report ASAP…"

She nodded as he shut the door, she turned back to Mike and Dutchy nervous about what they had to say.

"So…"

Dutchy looked over to Mike unsure of what to say, Mike attempted a reassuring smile.

"Well, I guess I'm satisfied… umm, look, we don't really know what you're after, but we'll do our best to help?"

"It's okay boss, I think the case is a bit of a bust…"

"So you'll be leaving us then?"

Her eyes darted over to Dutchy to check his expression, it was blank.

"Ah, not quite yet, there are a few things we have to sort out, but you never know, I may just hang around…"

Dutchy slammed his cup onto the bench and scoffed.

"What? Just be a regular XO, no exciting undercover work?"

Kate shrugged pretending his tone didn't bother her, she was more concerned about Mike reading into it.

"Umm, yeah, why not, this was never a permanent gig, there's only so much undercover work that can be done…"

Mike finished his cup and rose from his chair, he didn't want to be a part of the awkward conversation that was taking place.

"Well, I gotta go, but I'll see you guys soon! Dutchy, rest up mate!"

Dutchy nodded and went to get up off his chair.

"It's okay, you don't need to walk me out…"

Mike gave Kate a smile and a nod and left.

Dutchy made his way over to the couch and plonked himself down, Kate sat next to him waiting for him to tell her what he really thought.

"Dylan?"

"I really don't know you at all, you live in Melbourne. So you have a house and a…"

Kate interrupted him desperate for him not to over think everything.

"I live there, but it's not my home, I'm barely there…"

"Kate, I just don't know what you want from me, am I just some fling while you're undercover and you were just going to leave one day?"

Kate held her breath for a moment, it was her original plan, but now that she had real feelings for him she didn't know what she was going to do.

"I, I guess I really hadn't thought that far…"

He moved away from her annoyed at her lack of empathy.

"So that was the plan?!"

"Dylan, I didn't expect to meet someone…"

"Kate, I just don't think you understand how I feel…"

She grasped his hands in hers and looked into his eyes.

"I do Dylan, we'll figure it out, I promise…"

Dylan rose from the couch and hobbled into his bedroom and slammed the door. Kate sighed and ran her hands over her face through her hair, this is exactly why she had shut herself off from the possibility of love, it was too hard, especially in her line of work.

She made her way back to her house and sat on her couch with Dylan's file, she ran her finger of his picture and sighed. Chucking the file on to the coffee table she let out a growl and grabbed the remote.

"Meredith Grey will make me feel better about my life…"

She selected the next episode, it opened with the usual monologue from Meredith.

Meredith Voice over: When something begins you generally have no idea how it's going to end. The house you're going to sell becomes your home, the roommates you were forced to take in become your family, and the one night stand you were determined to forget becomes the love of your life.

Kate scoffed, why did all the episodes feel like they were describing her life? Dutchy's house felt like a home she could get used to, the crew she was forced to work with, they were almost like family, and the guy she needed to trick into falling for her, did, but the joke was on her, because, he might just be the love of her life.

Shaking her head she turned off the TV.

"Shut up, Meredith…"

She sat there for a moment thinking bout it, letting out a hiss she hurled the remote to the other side of the couch.

"Love of my life, yeah, right…"

End of Chapter 14.