Promise To Love Me, Even When You Hate Me.

Chapter 18.

Kate looked around the room, the last thing she remembered was, she hesitated and frowned, what was the last thing she remembered? Rubbing her hands over her face she willed her mind to remember. She flinched as Shaun placed a hand on her back seeing she was struggling.

"You okay?"

"Ah, I'm not sure, where am I?"

"You're in the hospital…"

Kate took a deep breath in and exhaled, clenching her eyes shut she tried to focus, all she could see was Dutchy's panicked expression, but she didn't know why.

"They just need to keep you here for a few more hours to make sure it's out of your system."

"What... what happened?"

"Just rest for now... I'll fill you in later..."

Kate sunk back into the bed as Shaun exited the room, closing her eyes she drifted off to sleep. She awoke one again suddenly, her dreams were filled with her fighting with Dutchy.

She maneuvered herself to the edge of the bed trying to peer out the window, placing a foot on the floor she attempted to stand, her legs were like jelly. She fell back on the the bed, her heart raced like she had just run a marathon. She sighed and curled back under the cover trying to remember anything from the past 24 hours.

The next morning Kate awoke with a jolt, Warren sat beside her playing on his phone.

"Hey…"

She flinched from the sight of him and scurried to the edge of the bed, her reaction confused him but he remembered their last encounter.

"It's okay, what to you remember?"

She clenched her eyes closed trying to force her memory to return, gripping her scalp she raked her fingers through her hair.

"You, I remember you and, and a gun, you attacked me…"

She stumbled out of the bed, Warren immediately rose from the chair to catch her as she lost her footing. She tried to struggle out of his grip but he held her tighter.

"Kate, relax, I didn't attack you, I was trying to help you."

"Help? You shot me!"

Warren grabbed the bottom of her shirt and and pulled it up to reveal her bruised stomach.

"They were blanks, this whole thing was part of the plan..."

She rubbed her hands over her stomach double checking she was okay, she was so sure that she had been wounded. Glancing up to meet his eyes she remembered the syringe, she ran her hand over her arm feeling for the injection site.

"You drugged me..."

He let out a laugh and sipped on his coffee.

"Yeah, to help you. You wanted out remember? So, we slowed your heart rate, and put you to sleep, it had to be believable..."

Kate sat back on the bed trying to remember, but it was fuzzy, she couldn't decipher what was real and what wasn't. Warren sat beside her and placed a hand on her knee in an attempt to ground her.

"It's okay, you'll remember, just know that I thought that this would be the best way, it hurt him less than you just, well, just dumping him."

Kate's brow furrowed, why couldn't she remember everything clearly. She lay back on the bed and closed her eyes hoping her memory would return.

A few hours later she woke up gasping for air again, Warren ran to her side and held her hand, she looked down at their intertwined hands.

"Can you just go, please…"

Warren sighed and rose from his chair.

"Believe it or not, I care about you…"

He closed the door on the way out, Kate sighed and lay back on the bed covering her head with the sheets.

Later that night Shaun returned holding a paper bag, plonking the bag down on the bedside table he opened it and gave her a wink.

"Thought you'd be desperate for some non hospital food."

Kate snatched the bag off the table and placed her face over the opening and inhaled.

"Oh, my, god, yes, thank you…"

Shaun sat down beside her as she stuff the chips into her mouth.

"So, has your memory returned?"

Kate froze mid mouthful and glanced over to him.

"Yeah, kinda…"

"You okay?"

Kate swallowed her mouthful and paused, she wasn't sure.

"I dunno, umm, who's idea was the umm, the…"

"Warren's..."

"Right."

Shaun could see the conclusions she was forming in her mind, he cleared his throat and pulled his chair closer to the bed.

"You know he did it cos he cared, I thought it was another opportunity for him to get back at you, but his explanation, well, maybe you should get him to explain it himself."

Shaun headed for the door, she sunk back into the bed and sighed. She pulled out the burger from the bag and took a large bite.

The next morning Warren knocked on her door, Kate looked up from her book and gave him a halfhearted smile.

"Hi."

He sat on the edged of the bed, Kate couldn't help but shuffle away.

"Shaun said you wanted to see me…"

"Ah, I guess."

"So, you back to normal?"

"Back to normal?"

She let out a scoff, normal? She was far from normal. Exhaling she looked up into his eyes, hers narrowed seeing the kindness and not the usual spite.

"Why are you being nice to me?"

Warren frowned and moved himself onto the chair next to her bed.

"What do you mean?"

"I remember everything, the past, well, year, I know that we haven't been able to have a civilised conversation since, well, since we ended things and the past few months..."

"Kate…"

She pulled her hand away and tucked it under the blanket.

"Don't call me that… that part of my life is over…"

"Look, I know we've had a rough time of it, I guess seeing you, well, vulnerable, being able to love, it's made me feel, well, like an asshole. I shouldn't have been so hard on you, I knew deep down you didn't love me and I pushed it. I just really wanted you to care about me the way I cared about you."

Kate let her body relax for a moment feeling guilty, she was expecting a fight.

"Warren, I always cared about you."

"Yeah but, not like…"

"I know, and for what it's worth, I'm sorry…"

"I just can't help but think it we waited, if I just let you do what you needed to do and waited…"

Kate knew where he was going, but she couldn't even think about that part of her life at that moment. She had just left someone that she truly cared about in the most awful way and she hated herself enough.

"Warren, not now, please, I don't think I can handle this right now…"

"Okay, but, friends?"

Kate nodded, it was the least she could do, if this experience had taught her anything it was that she needed to forgive.

"Friends."

"So umm, I'm glad you said that cos I've taken the liberty of booking your holiday."

"What?"

"Well, Shaun has been worried about you and thought it may be wise that you had some company."

"Warren, I don't think that's really necessary."

"Please, let me make up my jerkyness…"

It was against her better judgment, but she needed to get back to her real life, and if she was going to do that, then she at least needed to make an effort.

"Where are we going then?"

"Hawaii…"

Kate rolled her eyes assuming it was a joke, a large grin came over Warrens face.

"Surprise…"

"Seriously?"

"Yes, we all think you need a serious break, somewhere you can't get phone reception and can completely switch off, so, we leave tonight…"

"What? What if I didn't wake up, or said no…"

"Well, I would have got you on the plane somehow, we do work for an undercover government department, and as for you saying no, who's going to say no to Hawaii?"

Kate let out a laugh and grasped his hand in her, Warren smiled at her, she suddenly thought of Dutchy and the smile dropped off her face.

"Can I just know one thing?"

"What?"

"How are you explaining my death?"

"Umm, a robbery gone wrong… I took some of your things so it looks legitimate, they're in the car."

Kate sat there thinking about her life, or lack thereof. All of it was fake, from the age of 22 all she had done was play a role. She had to start living her real life, else one day she was going to wake up and it would be too late. She knew she had real feelings for Dutchy and it gave her hope, hope that she could, one day, be happy. It surprised her how easily she was able to let him go, but perhaps it was because she really loved him, she couldn't let him sacrifice so much for her, or maybe because she knew she could never really have a life with him in the first place. Ether way she had grown, and she would be forever thankful to him.

"I just gotta clear out my hotel room then we can go..."

She snapped back to the moment and looked over to Warren.

"Yeah, but umm, I've got nothing to wear."

Warren chucked her bag on to the bed and flashed her a cheeky smile.

"I saved some of the clothes you bought in Townsville."

Kate rolled her eyes as she unzipped the bag and rummaged around.

"What? All the bikinis?"

"Well, we are going to Hawaii… I'll be back a bit later."

2Dads awoke on Dutchy's couch to the sound of him muttering to himself, he sat up rubbing his eyes.

"Are you talking to yourself?"

Dutchy got up and poured 2Dads a cup of coffee and placed it in front of him.

"I just, I feel…"

He let out an exasperated growl and sat back into the couch.

"I'm beyond mad but, I mean, I loved her… I don't know what to feel."

2Dads picked up his cup and took a sip not really sure how to respond.

"I just want to know what happened and why, and if, if any of this was real."

Again 2Dads stayed silent, Dutchy rose from the couch and placed his cup in the sink and grabbed his wallet and keys.

"Where are you going?"

Dutchy opened the door and turned.

"To get answers…"

Dylan drove to Kate's house, parking a few houses down he looked around checking for any police patrols. Seeing no signs of anyone he jumped the fence and went round the back. Jimmying open the door he entered the lounge room, he gasped seeing her belongings all over the floor, it brought him back to the terrible night. He didn't know why he was there, what he thought he would find, but for some reason it comforted him being there.

He scanned the room looking for any clues, walking over to the only set of drawers that weren't open he pulled it open shuffled through it. He froze seeing the folders with their names on them, he slowly pulled them from the drawer and sat on the floor. He shuffled through them and stopped as he saw his name. He didn't know if he wanted to open it, scared what he would find out about himself.

He heard the front door unlatch, he picked up the file and attempted to hide, two men entered the house guns raised.

"Police, come out..."

Dylan did as instructed, he knew if he tried to run it would only end badly. He raised his hands showing he wasn't a threat and stepped out from behind the couch.

"It's okay, I'm a friend of Kate's."

Shaun lowered his gun and approached recognising him.

"Dylan? what are you doing here? This is a crime scene..."

"I just, I wanted to try to make sense of all of this…"

Shaun sighed and sat on the couch, he couldn't help but feel for Dylan. By all accounts, he was innocent, and they had put him through all of this for nothing.

"Yeah, I know… we're all pretty upset."

"Do you know why this happened?"

Shaun frowned seeing the files behind his back and tilted his head.

"Right, ah, what you got there?"

"Umm, oh, nothing…"

Shaun's eyes narrowed and stood closer and snatched them from his hand, he shuffled through them and glanced up to Dutchy, he lowered his head slightly.

"I know the real reason she was here..."

Shaun placed the files back on the table and sighed.

"Yeah, we, we needed her to know who you were, how to handle you all."

"And in the mean time none of us knowing the real her."

Shaun winced, he never had to deal with the aftermath of their cases, he wasn't sure what to tell him. He took a deep breath in and thought of Kate's acting skills.

"Sorry Dutchy, for what it's worth, she thought all of you guys were special, she really liked all of you..."

"It doesn't…"

They stood there in silence for a moment but Dutchy's anger boiled to the surface, he took a step towards Shaun standing inches from him and raised his voice.

"You guys have some nerve, I mean, we're real people, with real lives, and you guys just come in here and…"

The uniformed officer stepped in between Shaun and Dutchy, Shaun held up his hand.

"It's okay, can you just give us a minute?"

The officer nodded and headed out the front. Shaun sat back down on the couch and patted the space next to him, Dutchy rolled his eyes and sat.

"Look, I know I can't say much to make this all better but…"

"No, you can't… I just don't know how you can do this, lie to people every day, do you not care about the people you're doing this too?"

"Dutchy, you have to understand the bigger picture, our job is what keeps everyone above board."

"No, it doesn't, we're all good people, Shaun, we all do this for a good reason…"

"Dutchy, please, you just need to drop it, isn't it hard enough to lose the woman you love?"

Dutchy glanced over to him wondering how he knew.

"How did you know I loved her?"

Shaun broke eye contact, he couldn't tell him that he had them bugged, it was only going to make things worse.

"You could tell… look, I'm really sorry, Dutchy…"

"Yeah, you keep saying that, but what are you doing to find out what happened? I mean, what if it was someone from a past case or…"

"Look, this is way above you pay grade and security clearance. Just let us do our job and I'll let you know what I can when I can, okay?"

"Yeah, okay..."

Warren knocked on the door and entered.

"Ah, what's going on here? I was driving past and saw the lights on."

"Nothing, Dutchy just needed some closure…"

Warren walked over to the liquor cabinet and pulled out a bottle of scotch and poured them all a drink.

"Let's just umm, pay our respects, we actually shouldn't be here, the cops haven't finished."

"To Kate..."

They down the shots, Dutchy placed his glass on the table and looked around. He walked over to the mantle and searched for the picture he had given her.

Warren glanced at Shaun wondering what he was doing.

"Ah, you missing something mate?"

"There was a picture of us…"

Warren approached and pretended to look for it.

"The place is trashed, mate, it'll be here somewhere…"

"But, all the rest of them are here…"

"Look, I'll bring it round if I find it."

"I don't need it, I've got a copy, it's strange, that's all."

Dutchy took one last look around the place and walked out the door. Warren walked over to the table and pulled a clear plastic bag out of his pocket and placed Dutchy's glass inside. Shaun looked over to him with a questioning look on his face, Warren shrugged as he ran his fingers over the top sealing the bag.

"Thought it might be handy to have his prints on record..."

Dutchy waited at the counter trying to get someone's attention, a young officer approached the counter.

"Yes, Sir, how can I help?"

"Ah, I wanted to speak to someone about Kate McGregor..."

Detective Summerside approached and placed a hand on the constable's shoulder.

"I'll handle this one…"

He opened the gate and let him to a room, they sat opposite each other, Dutchy cleared his throat.

"Look, I know you're focused on me, and whatever but I just wanted to know if you guys were looking into Kate's ex."

"Why's that?"

"Well, she told me this story, and I don't know if it's true, about her ex attempting to murder her family. I thought you should know, look, all I can tell you was that it wasn't me, and I'm not buying the robbery gone wrong."

Detective Summerside sighed and shifted in his chair.

"Dylan, look, I've spoken to Shaun, but from what we can tell her ex has nothing to do with this. We are investigating other avenues, actually while you're here can we take your prints for elimination purposes?"

He nodded, but he still had more questions.

"But surely being undercover in the N.I.I.D gives motives to other people."

"Yeah, it does, but you need to let us do our job, Dylan, you could hinder a police investigation. Do you want to be responsible for evidence being chucked out?"

He shook his head, he knew he needed to let them do their job, but he wondered if they were taking it seriously.

Dylan sat on his couch holding the photo of him and Kate, a knock on the door startled him, he dropped it on the table and it shattered everywhere.

"Damn it!"

He rose from the couch and opened the door, he couldn't help but look confused.

"Warren?"

"Ah, hey..."

Dutchy wasn't sure why he was at his house.

"You wanna come in?"

He nodded and walked into the lounge, he went to sit on the couch and stepped on the glass from the frame.

"Oh shit, sorry!"

He bent down and picked up the photo.

"This the one you were looking for at her house?"

Dutchy sat on the couch and filled his glass and poured one for Warren, Warren sat beside him and placed the photo on the table.

"Not that I mind the company, but umm, what do you want?"

Dutchy took a big gulp of his drink, Warren picked up his and took a sip.

"Ah, I just, you seemed pretty upset earlier."

"Yeah, I was, I even went to speak to the cops."

"Really? About what?"

"Well, I just don't think this was a robbery gone wrong. Surely you guys have some suspects?"

Warren took another sip of his drink, Dutchy knew he was hesitant, he let out a scoff and sat back on the couch.

"I know, above my pay grade... but can I ask, how many cases has she been on, I mean should she have any enemies? She told me that you guys were part of her exes crew, but if you weren't then what was she undercover for?"

Warren sighed and placed his glass back on the table.

"Dutchy..."

Dutchy slammed his glass on the table causing Warren to jump, he was sick of the political red tape.

"No, she's dead, Warren, she was your colleague, I'm assuming a friend, and you don't seem to care that she's gone!"

"Of course I'm upset..."

He exhaled and swallowed the rest of his glass.

"You really cared about her didn't you?"

"Yeah, I loved her. I was about to transfer off Hammersley for her."

Warren felt a little bad, he knew what it was like to love someone so much that he would do anything for them.

"C'mon Warren, the least you can tell me whether she was in danger."

"No, she wasn't. She had no open or pending cases she was untraceable. So if the cops say it was a..."

"Don't say it..."

"I'm sorry Dutchy... Ah, can I use your bathroom?"

"Yeah, upstairs, use my en-suite, the other ones not working..."

Dutchy poured himself another drink and picked up the picture, tears ran down his cheeks as he swallowed the contents of his glass.

A few minutes later Warren came back down the stairs.

"Umm, I'll head off..."

Dutchy rose from the couch and walked him to the door.

"Umm, I know you probably can't but can you please let me know if you hear anything..."

Warren nodded as he opened the door, Dutchy ran to stop him before he left.

"Oh, umm her funeral..."

"Dutchy, I haven't got any details..."

"My commander said it was a private service, I just , I mean I was wondering if you had her next of kin's number? Apparently none of us are welcome but if they knew, if they knew how much I loved her..."

"Sorry, Dutchy…"

Warren left Duchy flopped back on to the couch and turned on the TV, Grey's Anatomy played from where it was last paused.

Lexie voice over: Grief may be a thing we all ave in common, but it looks different on everyone.

Mark voice over: It isn't just death we have to grieve, it's life, it's loss, it's change.

Dutchy couldn't hear it right now, he desperately searched for remote and switched it off, sinking back into the couch he grabbed the bottle of scotch and took a swig.

That night the taxi pulled up to the airport, Kate exited and walked around to the boot, Warren shooed here away.

"It's okay, I got this…"

Kate stepped back still a little weirded out that Warren was being nice, he wheeled both their suitcases to the counter and checked them in. Walking to the gate he went to detour to the lounge, Kate frowned and grabbed his arm.

"Where are you going? We don't have access to the lounge."

"Ah, when you fly business class you do…"

"Excuse me?"

"Call it a bonus for your past performance."

He wrapped an arm around her and led her into the lounge, she sat on a couch and warren brought her over a glass of champagne.

"I could get used to this!"

Warrens phone rang, he glanced down at the caller and answered taking a step away from her. Kate raised an eyebrow as she sipped on her glass. He returned a few minutes later and sat beside her, she raised an eyebrow.

"What was that about?"

"Oh, nothing."

"Warren, c'mon…"

He sighed and took a sip of his beer.

"Okay, I went to see Dutchy…"

Kate swallowed her mouthful of champagne and placed her glass on the table.

"Why?"

"Well, he was at your house, he was pretty upset, he asked about your funeral, someone told him there wasn't going to be one…"

Kate went to pick up her glass, Warren cleared his throat.

"So, I've arranged one…"

Kate flinched knocking over her glass.

"What?"

Warren grabbed a few napkins and mopped up the table.

"Well, like a service anyway, I think he just needs some closure."

Kate sat there staring at him in bewilderment.

"Why would you do that?"

"Cos he's hurting, and I felt bad for him."

"Oh…"

Kate was lost for words, she took out her phone, Warren snatched it away from her.

"Nope, no phone, no internet, we are switching off…"

He took his phone from his pocket and turned it off and shoved them both into his bag, he patted her knee and gave her a nudge with his shoulder.

"Fresh start, yeah?"

Kate nodded as she rose from the couch.

"Yeah, but I need another drink first."

End of Chapter 18.

xx