Hey everyone!

I'm back! did you miss me? Lol!

So, my holiday did not cure my writers block! Grr! but on the upside I saw sooo many wombats! I Have bout 347 photos to prove it lol!

Hope you enjoy the next chapter! Thanks to everyone that's left a reviews! You keep me going! Keep them coming!

xx

Promise to Love Me, Even If You Hate Me.

Chapter 21

Lisa poured herself drink number four and flopped back onto the couch letting out a drunken sigh.

"Is this really my life?"

Warren snatched the glass out of her hand and took a sip and smirked.

"Apparently."

She rolled her eyes at his attempt to lighten the mood and swiped the glass back and sculled it.

"Well, I guess it's not all bad, I am in Hawaii..."

She got up and grabbed the bottle of vodka and poured herself another glass, spilling most of it on the table. Warren leaned over and attempted to steady her hand.

"Hey, be careful, your wasting precious vodka."

She fumbled the lid back on the bottle and fell back in to the couch.

"What if I really loved him?"

Warren was suddenly less tipsy, he sat up giving her his full attention.

"Well, did you? You never gave me an actual answer last time."

She took a sip and cringed, she still wasn't going to admit it.

"He was going to leave the navy for me..."

Warren let out a grunt at her unclear answer.

"Yeah, but, just because..."

She stumbled off the couch and walked around the room, she spun round to face him spilling her drink in the process.

"He told me you know, that he loved me, multiple times..."

Warren rose from the couch and took the glass from her.

"Other people have loved you Lis, it shouldn't be such a surprise..."

She broke eye contact but could still feel Warren's gaze burning into her, she snatched her glass back from his grip and downed it. She needed more than booze, running into her room she frantically searched her bag for the pills. Warren followed and snatched the bottle from her hand as soon as she retrieved them from her bag.

"No more! You can't block everything out, you know, if this has affected you this much, maybe it is time to get out..."

Lisa dropped her head, she felt like a failure, she knew her mind related feelings to weakness, but she didn't know how to stop it. She was so angry at herself, her feelings had potentially ruined the one thing she was good at, her job.

She sighed and pried the bottle out of Warren's hands, he stood there giving her a stern look, she sighed and poured the contents down the sink.

"Can I at least have another drink?"

Warren rolled his eyes and wrapped his arm around her shoulder and walked her back out to the lounge and poured her another drink.

"So, you really gonna leave me when we get back?"

She took the drink from him and shrugged falling back onto the couch.

"I dunno, but I think a change is definitely on the cards."

"Maybe you can do intel, we can still work together..."

Warren sat next to her hoping he could get her to open up a bit more, Lisa rubbed her forehead and leaned back on the couch.

"Yeah, I just gotta clear my head, get over this case and I'll see where I'm at. Maybe even move? I mean, I just, nothing feels like home anymore, I've been doing this so long, living in the shadows, that I don't feel like I've lived, does that make sense?"

He nodded taking a sip of his drink, Lisa looked over to him and smiled, he was the one person who probably understood, and she was thankful he was there to support her. He sighed and pat her on the knee.

"Yeah, it does, but I mean, you get to live multiple lives. You have a chance to see how other situations play out..."

"Warren, I want to be normal."

"You're anything but normal."

Lisa raised an eyebrow in his direction, Warren cleared his throat and rolled his eyes.

"I mean that in a good way."

Dutchy sat in the interview room with his lawyer while Detective Summerside discussed the case with a colleague outside.

"Who did you want to call?"

"I was gonna call one of Kate's work mates, Warren, I don't know if he could help somehow, he's in the N.I.I.D."

His lawyer sighed and stood from the table.

"Well, I guess anything would help at this point."

Dutchy desperately grabbed his arm sensing that he was giving up.

"What? You think I did it?"

"No, but..."

"But what? You think they can hold me?"

He placed his briefcase back on the table and sat back down next to Dutchy, letting out a deep breath he fiddled with the pen on the table.

"Dylan, at this stage, I think they have enough to charge you."

Dutchy sat there staring at him in disbelief.

"Charge me? With her murder?"

He nodded returning his gaze to Dutchy's panicked face.

"If this happens, we'll apply for bail, just cooperate and it'll be okay."

Dutchy rose from his chair shaking his head in complete disbelief.

"Be okay? You're saying I'm about to be charged with murder, how can it be okay?!"

Detective Summerside re-entered the room, Dutchy stared his down as he approached.

"Dylan Mulholland, we are charging you with the murder of Kate McGregor. We must inform you that anything you say may be used in evidence. You will be detained, and we will recommend that no bail be granted, however, you are able to dispute this at a hearing. Do you understand?"

Dylan stared into space as a high pinched ring filled his ears, he felt like he was going to be sick. He shook his head, his mind unable to comprehend what was happening. Before he knew it they had stripped him of his personal belongings and shoved into the watch house cell.

His lawyer walked out to the waiting area of the station, Frankie and Mike immediately rose from their chairs. Frankie grabbed his arms seeing his anxious expression.

"What's happening? Where is he?"

His eyes darted around the room trying to think of a way to break the news, but Frankie knew what his answer would be. Mike's gaze darted from him back to Frankie as he shook his head.

"You can't be serious, it's all circumstantial..."

"Mmm, well, they have the murder weapon and his prints all over it, not really circumstantial. I should be able to get bail, it's just a matter of getting it before a judge."

Lisa awoke the next morning still feeling out of sorts, stretching, she rolled out of bed and made her way out on to the balcony. Sitting down next to Warren she took a sip from his cup still pondering the previous night's conversation.

"It's so beautiful out here, maybe I should move somewhere tropical."

"Yeah, well, that might be a bit hard now, unless you wanna live in Darwin..."

"I just feel so unsettled..."

Warren sat up concerned about Lisa's continued agitated state.

"He really got to you didn't he? I've never seen you like this."

She had already discussed it more that she'd wanted to, especially with him. It was too painful, she was going to do what she did best, and bury the feeling deep down and concentrate on work.

Warren's phone rang, he looked at the caller ID and frowned, Lisa peered over his shoulder trying to see what made his expression change. He pulled the phone away from her eyeline and nudged her with his shoulder.

"Hey! Nosey!"

Lisa rolled her eyes and folded her arms across her chest as Warren answered the phone call.

"Hello?"

"Hi, this is Jack Stringer, I'm Dylan Mulholland's lawyer, do you have a minute to chat?"

Warren rose from his chair and moved away from Lisa's earshot.

"Ah, hi mate, this isn't really a good time... sorry..."

He hung up the phone, Lisa frowned seeing his uneasy expression.

"Everything okay?

He shoved the phone into his pocket and sat back down burying his head in the newspaper.

"Yeah, just work..."

Lisa frowned, work didn't normally cause him to react the way he did, she knew something odd was happening

"What's going on?"

"Nothing…"

He folded the paper and placed it on the table.

"C'mon, lets go do something crazy!"

He grabbed her hand and chucked his phone on the couch as he pulled her out the door.

They stood on the end of the boat as the crew lowered the cage into the water, Warren peered over the edge as one of the crew poured a bucket of chum over the side.

"Ah, you really wanna do this?"

Lisa nodded as she zipped up her wetsuit and jumped into the water, she resurfaced and smiled sweetly.

"You're the one who said you wanted to do something crazy!"

Warren took a deep breath in and placed the oxygen tank on his back and jumped into the water.

They treaded water as the cage was lowered deeper into the ocean, small reef sharks swarmed around the cage as they caught up with the sinking chum.

Lisa reached between the bars and attempted to touch a shark that swam by, Warren pulled her hand back in the cage and threw his hands above his head questioning her actions.

A few more metres down the cage stopped suddenly and the smaller sharks swam away, it was eerily still and dark. Suddenly, a large Great White appeared from nowhere and swam passed them, Lisa's eyes widened and pressed her face close to the bars. Another swam close and made eye contact with her, Warren stayed in the middle of the cage, nervous about the whole situation.

The sharks circled the cage eyeing them off like their next meal, Lisa was mesmerised. She swam to the top of the cage and hovered for a moment, she reached up and opened the hatch. She felt a tug on her foot, Warren glared at her in disbelief, she smiled and swam closer to the door. Reaching up for the latch she felt another tug, she ignored it and pushed the door open. She swam out and sat on the top of the cage, exposed to the sharks. She sat there still, calm, somehow it made her feel empowered, that she had some kind of control.

A shark swam directly above her, slowly, she extended her arm and ran her fingers on its belly as it passed above her.

She was about to reach out and touch another but she was pulled back into the cage, she was about to confront Warren when a Great White charged at the cage causing it to swing. Warren had had enough, he tugged on the rope indicating they wanted to surface.

Ripping off her mask as they surfaced, Warren shoved her against the side of the cage.

"What are you doing? Do you have a death wish?"

Lisa attempted to catch her breath and wiped the water from her face.

"Huh? No, I was…"

"Lisa, look, I don't know what's going on in your head, but being so reckless is so, so stupid! You act like you don't have anyone who cares about you, but that is bullshit…"

Lisa stood there staring at him blankly, trying to comprehend his tone, was he annoyed or worried? Warren tilted his head frustrated that she was clearly not listening, he grabbed her by her shoulders.

"Lisa? Do you hear me?"

She took a step forward and placed a hand on his cheek and leaned in and kissed him, he pulled back surprised at her actions.

"What are you doing?"

"I, I'm trying to make things right…"

Warren exhaled and stepped out of the cage and sat on the edge of the boat, Lisa positioned herself next to him. He let out a sigh and looked out to the water.

"It's not about making it right, I just, I can't be a band aid, I care for you, and…"

Lisa closed her eyes for a moment and slid her hand on top of his, she didn't know why she kissed him, did she still feel something for him or was she just using him?

"I'm sorry…"

"Look, more than anything I would love to just pick up where we left off, but we both know that can't happen. But maybe when we get home we could just hang out, as friends and, well, see what happens?"

Lisa nodded, worried she would say something else stupid, he turned and smiled nudging her with his shoulder.

"But, no more death defying activities, please?"

She laughed as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"Deal, cocktails and sun baking are as dangerous as it will get…"

They arrived back at the resort, Warren's phone vibrated on the couch as they entered the room. Lisa picked it up and frowned seeing 5 missed calls from the Cairns Police Station.

"Ah, I think someone wants to get a hold of you!"

She waived the phone in his face, Warren had forgot all about the call from Dutchy, he grabbed his phone and immediately called them back.

"Hi, this is Warren Delaney, yes, ah, yes, sorry, I'm not able to comment."

He hung up the phone and looked over to Lisa who was giving him a questioning glare.

"It's nothing, just closing up your case."

"Right…"

Lisa went to pull out her phone, Warren snatched it off her.

"I thought you wanted to forget all of this…"

She rolled her eyes and walked into her room, she grabbed her bag and rummaged around, she stopped remembering she had ditched the pills. Her hand felt the photo frame in the bottom of her bag and pulled it out. She ran her hand over Dutchy's face, tears formed in her eyes, she exhaled sharply and dropped the frame into the bin.

The really crappy thing, the very worst part of grief is that you can't control it. The best we can do is try to let ourselves feel it when it comes, and let it go when we can. The very worst part is that the minute you think you're past it, it starts all over again. And always, every time, it takes your breath away.

Dutchy sat on the hard bed of the watch house cell, his head in his hands. Hearing the door unlock he looked up, Frankie stood at the door, her arms outstretched.

"I'm taking you home…"

Dutchy rushed to the door and threw his arms around her.

"I'm so glad to see you!"

They sat on Frankie's lounge, Reason curled in his lap. Frankie handed him a cup of tea and sat beside him and placed a hand on his knee.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

Dutchy took a sip of tea and cringed.

"Got anything stronger than this?"

Frankie shook her head and placed her cup on the table as she slapped his arm.

"Seriously? You've forgotten your release conditions already?"

"No, I was joking…"

Frankie stood above him and placed her hands on her hips.

"Dylan Mulholland, this isn't a joke!"

Dutchy dropped his head and placed his cup down.

"I know, and I promise I'll obey the rules…"

He looked down at the tracking bracelet on his ankle and sighed.

"And, I promise I'll pay you back every cent."

She shook her head as she sat back down and sighed.

"Dylan, what happened?"

Dutchy re-gripped his cup and spun it around in his hands.

"I, I told her I was going to leave the Navy…"

Frankie sipped on her tea as she raised an eyebrow trying not to react.

"She lost it, saying I was crazy, stupid, that I couldn't do it for her… but I wasn't doing it just for her, it was for us, and honestly, I was fine with it. Seeing the way she did her job, I mean, I think it made me realise that it's not what I wanted to do forever."

Frankie swallowed her mouthful unsure if she should ask questions.

"Okay, so how did it come to…"

"She broke it off…"

"You know she would have only done that so you wouldn't leave?"

He placed the cup back on to the table and rubbed his hands over his face.

"Yeah, but she wouldn't even listen. I kept calling her, and I came back to her house but we just fought again. Then the next time I heard from her it was a message saying help. So I rushed to her house and, it was trashed, her stuff was everywhere, and then I saw the blood..."

He dropped his head into his hands thinking about the moment.

"I followed it and found her lying on the beach, she was conscious, I tried to stop the bleeding. She was joking about me bossing her around, and then, then she was gone…"

Frankie placed her hand on his shoulder trying to give him some sort of comfort.

"And the gun?"

"I've got no idea, Mike was the one who found it, I don't know how it got there and how it got my prints on it, you believe me don't you?"

He looked up to Frankie, his desperate expression killed her, she wished she could make everything better.

"Of course, I know you loved her, Dylan…"

"Yeah, and they're calling that a motive."

Frankie shook her head and raked her hands through her hair.

"Okay, well, an alibi? I mean, what did you do after you fought?"

"I drove around then went home, I don't have anyone who can vouch for me."

"I could say you were with me…"

"Frankie, you can't do that, they'd find out, and that would make it look worse. I just have to trust the system."

He picked up Reason and rose from the couch.

"I think I'm just going to head to bed…"

Frankie gave him a halfhearted smile.

"Okay, well, you're restricted to my house now, so I'll grab your stuff tomorrow, I've made up the spare room for you."

He leaned down and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"Thanks, I don't know what I'd do without you."

Warren knocked on Lisa's bedroom door and tried the door handle.

"Hey, you all right in there?"

She frantically wiped the tears from her cheeks, Warren poked his head in the door, she rose from the bed and wiped her cheeks again.

"Yeah?"

He cautiously stepped inside the room.

"You sure?"

She glanced back at the bin and placed a smile on her face, she walked out of the room hoping he wouldn't see the photo.

"I can't believe we have to leave tomorrow."

Warren was suspicious of her change of mood, he could see she had been crying, she walked out on to the balcony and gazed over the ocean. Going home scared her, what was she going back too? Nothing, no one.

"Hey, I don't want this to sound weird but, when we get home do you mind if I stay with you for a bit?"

Warren couldn't help but smile, she turned and saw his mischievous smile, she scoffed and playfully shoved him.

"Not like that, I just, I don't wanna be by myself that's all…"

"Sure, I'd love to have the company."

There was an awkward silence in the conversation.

"But, don't blame me when you fall head over heels in love with me, okay?"

She let out a snort and rolled her eyes, he handed her a glass of champagne.

"To our last night in paradise…"

She smiled and clinked her glass against his.

"And to only looking forward, not back…"

Warren nodded as he took a sip.

"I like it…Roomie."

Lisa took a deep breath in and looked back out over the water, she wondered if she could ever feel normal again, the way she did before, before she met him.

We have to keep reinventing ourselves almost every minute because the world can change in an instant, and there's no time for looking back. Sometimes the changes are forced on us, sometimes they happen by accident, and we make the most of them. We have to constantly come up with new ways to fix ourselves, so we change, we adapt, we create new versions of ourselves. We just need to be sure that this one is an improvement over the last.

End of Chapter 21.