*~*~* MERRY CHRISTMAS My lovely readers :) *~*~*

First things first ...

Sorry I took so long with this. I had to do lots of research about PTSD, the Desert, Mirages and Hallucinations to make sure that this chapter worked and contained all that I wanted to with all the explanations behind it. So I hope you enjoy it.

No copyright infringement intended...
All Movie Scenes used here belong to Marvel Studios and their respective owners, I'm not out to profit from this work.
I made it purely for enjoyment purposes.

Last but by no means least.

*~*~* ANSWERS TO YOUR REVIEWS *~*~*

afedrigo - Sorry about those endings XD this one is nicer don't worry :))

RLMz- Unfortunately no he doesn't... :(

Softballpup12 - Wow thank you :)) Your review really made me smile. Here is the next chapter! I will continue writing don't worry. I hope you continue to enjoy it :D


He steeled himself, looking up to the sun he tried to figure out which direction the Bagram Airfield was and started limping through the desert heat that burnt the reactor searing hot.

Trudging through the desert, littering pieces of the suit as he went, Tony's eyebrows rose as he saw the glint of a familiar looking metal body in the distance. "Dum-E?"

"What?" Rhodey gasped as he whipped around to stare at the familiar metallic bot, straight away he was hit with the absurdity of the situation before it sunk in that Tony was obviously experiencing a hallucination.

There was a chorus of enthusiastic sounding beeps in response while two more claws popped out from the sand and screeched at him.

Vision smiled warmly upon seeing the two other bots, it was heartwarming to know that his grandfather loved them that much to hallucinate them in his time of need.

Peter blushed when he let out a quiet, enthusiastic squeal.

'Great. U and Butterfingers are out here too!'

"What the hell did you drag your brothers into this time? You know sand and wheels don't mix," Tony grinned brightly as he dragged his feet over to the area where DumE, U and Butterfingers appeared sunken into the sand. DumE let out an apologetic whine and lowered his claw. "Yeah, yeah save it. Just be grateful I'm here to dig you - woah!"

He reached out to pat Dum-E's body but his hand clasped nothing and the Bots bodies dissolved into sand, he nearly fell straight forward before catching himself.

He pressed his sandy palms into his moist eyes. 'God I miss them!'

"Hallucinations… that's just," Tony tore off the other flamethrower and threw it across the dune, furious at the taunting of his own mind, "fucking," then does the same to the hand gauntlets, "GREAT!"

Bruce slipped to one side to dodge the projectile and let out a sympathetic sigh. 'No wonder he's angry, thinking you have something and then taking it away is worse than never being offered it at all.'

He sighed and kicked off his boots before lying backward in the sand. The reactor pressed downward uncomfortably. He ignored the ache and burning around the device and the constriction of his lungs, it was at least a distraction from the hallucination.

"Guys, is anyone else worried about that hallucination?" Sam asked anxiously as he eyed Stark laying in the sand.

"What? Why would we be? Don't people who get trapped in the desert experience mirages?" Peter replied. He frowned deeply under the mask, admittedly he didn't know much about it but it was something he had briefly covered in school.

"This is no mirage. A mirage is an optical illusion usually seen in the distance, this is far too realistic, he's even hearing them. This is psychosis." Sam replied. Sam couldn't believe that he'd missed Stark's PTSD but he couldn't deny it anymore.

"What? Psychosis?! Com'on Sam Tony's not mad-" Clint started before Sam cut him off.

"It can be a symptom of PTSD. Which is looking like the most likely case at the moment, judging by what he's just gone through you can't really blame him, can you?" Sam asked.

Bucky's brow furrowed as he looked to Sam. "I have PTSD and I've never had hallucinations like that."

"It only happens in about 52% of cases." Sam answered.

Shutting his eyes, Tony breathed in deeply as the sand sparsely covered him in a warm blanket…

'How easy it would be to just go to sleep right no-'

"Tones."

Tony startled at the fond familiar voice and his eyes snapped open.

He was greeted instantly with Rhodey's face and he couldn't repress the small gasp he let out, or the tears gathering at the corners of his eyes as he began to raise his head from the sand.

"Oh my god." Rhodey breathed, "Oh my god Tony."

A turmoil of emotions raised inside Rhodey. At his lowest his best friend imagined him there by him, although he was unbelievably flattered he was also confused. "I don't get it. Tony was always the the extraordinary one and we have both pulled each others ass out of trouble. We met when he saved me from Stone-" Rhodey cut himself off to calm himself down although it did nothing to hide his shining eyes or the fact that his voice trembled. "Oh yeah, he thinks I'm fucking dead! How could I forget? God... that-that hallucination or whatever is just misplaced guilt trying to get him moving." Rhodey aimed a furious kick at the sand, his hands clenched as emotion welled up in his chest. He didn't know whether he wanted to laugh or cry.

"Friend Anthony obviously sees you as a comfort to see you in his time of need." Thor gave a sad smile, " Although, it may be because of some misplaced guilt too."

However as quickly as the instinctual part of him lit up at seeing his best friend alive and whole, common sense kicked in.

"You're not here." Tony frowned and tilted his head back into the sand with an air of grief and resignation, "you're dead. Same as Yinsen and those soldiers and it's my fault. So why are you here? All these deaths are on me, so what's the point?"

"Point of what?" Peter breathed, Natasha gave him a side look.

There was only so much she could decipher from how he was feeling without seeing his face however there was a dark edge to his voice and a tense line to his body that told Natasha that this question came from denial rather than ignorance.

The young man suspected at least what the question meant.

"What is the point of-of what?" Hallucination Rhodey snaps, "Living?!"

'Platypus sounds pissed.'

"You are just going to give up now after we gave our lives for you! You know I had Lily at home waiting for me right?" Rhodey bore down on him and Tony felt his stomach drop.

"Lily? Who is that?" Scott asked, appearing worried as he turned to Rhodey. "No offence intended man, is she your daughter?"

Rhodey appeared a little put out. "She's my niece, my sister died." Rhodey looked up and upon seeing the questioning faces he answered bluntly. "She... overdosed. And left Lily largely in the custody of her dad so she's not really around much. But she loves visiting Tony and I when she can."

The group fall into silence at this, none of them were too sure how to react, in learning about Tony they found that they were learning more about each other too.

The clogs turned in Natasha's head, although this event wasn't shown Tony's life she was sure that it had more of an effect on Tony's life than what was shown. 'Stark has an addictive personality, showing signs of alcoholism, but he largely stuck to that. It's uncommon for those type of personalities, especially celebrities, who could get hard drugs with ease. What happened to Rhodey's sister may have stopped Tony from turning down a darker path especially if she was already an addict when Tony was at MIT.'

At the mention of Rhodey's adoring niece, the hallucination Rhodey got to his feet, looking the angriest that Tony had ever seen him. "You are going to get your lazy ass up and get moving because I will never ever forgive you if you die here."

"Couldn't have said it better myself." Rhodey gave a weak attempt at a smile, feeling grateful for the psychosis for the first time.

"Hear hear!" Clint said, "Go hallucination Rhodey! I like this guy," he gave a smile to the others who appeared faintly amused by him. "If anyone can drag Stark's ass up its him."

Staring at his best friend for a long moment, Tony swallowed heavily. "Why couldn't it have been me instead?"

"Damn it Tony!" Rhodey yelled. He would always rather it was him than Tony.

"Life's a bitch." Rhodey's head nodded a little as he said this, his face grim.

"Oi!" Clint exclaimed appearing offended on Tony's behalf. "Just when I thought you were cool."

"It's Tony's psychosis, not me," Rhodey said as he gave Clint an amused side eye.

Tony rose to his feet shakily, he winced as he pressed a hand to the arc. His leg still felt like it was going to give out, Rhodey stayed close to him as he began to walk by his side. Tony didn't dare reach out, didn't dare disrupt the illusion. "Do something for me once you get back."

"Anything."

"Don't let anyone else die like we did." Rhodey stopped and gave him an intense, sad stare, Tony's eyes stung harshly.

'My best friend is dead and it's all my fault.'

"I am not dead you idiot!" Rhodey snarled, "It's not your fault even if I was! I would do it again."

Steve let out a grin at this, that sort of declaration was a sign of true friendship, which mirrored what existed between himself and Bucky. 'I would die for him, I almost gave up everything for him, thank god it all turned out in the end.'

"Never again." Tony's voice wobbled violently, but it didn't falter in its conviction. "See you on the other side."

Thor frowned. "I wish I could reassure him that he still has many battles yet to win. I have never known Man of Iron to be so sure of his impending doom."

"You gotta admit… things don't look good for him right now." Bruce replied with a grimace.

"That better not be for a long fucking time, you jerk." That was when Tony noticed that Rhodey's eyes were bright with unshed tears too, as his form wavered and disappeared, gradually fading away like a ghost.

Tony choked out a teary laugh before finding that he was alone once again.


The sun bore down on him harshly, he found himself extremely bored as he trekked through the monotonous sandy landscape.

His right leg trembled and protested agonisingly against the constant movement and he could feel blood leaking from the various cuts he had sustained.

His mind was in too much turmoil to care, it felt almost like someone was banging an anvil against his skull and his thoughts were whirling all over the place with nothing in the landscape to distract him.

'You should have died in that cave. You don't deserve to see your bots again.

'But I have to get home. I have to find a way to get home. I've got to fix my company and avenge Rhodey, Yinsen and those soldiers. How did it end up like this?'

Suddenly his right leg slipped a little, before giving out completely at the top of the sand dune. Tony let out an agonised yell whilst he tumbled forward and slid down the sand dune.

"Ow!" He clasped his leg and tried his best to support it however the motion caused intense waves of pain to rock through him. He gritted his teeth and tried very hard not to cry as he reset his leg into a straight position. Although his leg had been bent awkwardly Tony could tell that it hadn't done any more damage than a gash from something buried in the sand.

The team felt a surge of worry as they saw beads of scarlet stain the sand and stick to Tony's leg, his eyes took on a glassy appearance and they saw him take a long exhale as he gazed at his leg.

"Don't tell me you're going to cry that truly would be pathetic, Anthony." Tony went rigid at Howard's familiar, cold tone. "Find a new way to disappoint me, you pathetic excuse of a Stark."

"No, not you." Tony hissed in firm denial about the Howard hallucination he could hear, he refused to look up at him. "Go away."

"What?" Howard snarled, "Can't even look at Me? Is it because you know you ruined my company and besmirched my name by what you allowed those weapons to do?"

"Ouch." Peter cringed, hating how harsh Tony's dad was being with him, "That's wrong, he makes it better."

Tony was finally prompted to look up at him when he said this, and immediately wished he hadn't.

Howard looked more terrifying than ever with an almost translucent ghostly, white appearance matching his white mop which only served to accentuate his furious black eyes boring down on him.

Steve inhaled sharply at the sight of the hallucination of his old friend, he appeared so malevolent and ghostly that he was sure he wouldn't have connected that specter to Howard. 'Did Tony really see his father as that bad? Sure Howard wasn't a great father, we saw that, but it is obvious he tried…'

However Tony refused to be intimidated by the ghastly spectre.

'I'm not a kid anymore. You don't scare me.'

Bruce and Clint shifted uncomfortably, they accidently caught each other's eye before quickly looking away.

He got up, his leg protested harshly at the weight he put on it.

"How can I ruin something that was already rotten?!" Tony protested.

Steve raised his eyebrows, the Howard he knew was proud of his work and would never let it become bad.

"I was a War hero. And what are you compared to that?" Howard venomously spat the words at Tony, stepping forward and looking down his nose at him.

"He's Iron Man, you dick." Rhodey bristled defensively.

"A disappointment. Nonetheless, I entrusted my legacy to you because it was what was expected of me, I trusted you to protect our soldiers. I thought that you couldn't fuck that up at least. Yet your weapons somehow ended up in the hands of the men that killed them!"

Sam twitched at that and flinched. 'Like Riley was.'

"You were the one who decided to sell weapons." Tony stalked right up to Hallucination Howard's face. "I was never given a choice! You could have made computers and been a pioneer of technology, but all you ever wanted to do was sell death! You helped make a bomb that killed 225,000 Japanese citizens, women and children. You don't get to lecture me after you helped destroy two cities!"

"What?!" Steve's eyes bulged with horror, "Howard was involved in causing that?!"

All of the group apart from Thor turned to stare incredulously at Steve, including Bucky. Thor just looked confused and a little horrified.

"Did you not read up up on anything after you were de-thawed Stevie?" Incredulously, Bucky raises an eyebrow at Steve. "Seriously not even about Howard?"

"I did!" Steve turned to the group, who appeared severely unimpressed with him, and he tried his best to explain himself. "When I woke up I heard that the Manhattan Project helped win the war, but I wasn't told the specifics. I looked it up myself later and saw photos of the effects of the two 'winning' bombs. I was horrified and I didn't want to know anymore, I never looked up who was involved. It reminded me too much of Red Skull's tactics so I never looked any further. All I asked is if the people involved in the project were dead and the agent I asked said yes… How was I meant to connect my friend to that?"

"It should have been mentioned in his file. He was heavily involved," Clint scowled at Steve.

"I... never read the full file. I looked at the time and cause of death and I saw that he had founded S.H.I.E.L.D, saw that he had a kid, but I never looked further…"

"You didn't want to admit the world had moved on without you, that your friends had had lives, so you stuck your head in the sand." Natasha sneered with disgust.

"Bombs aren't uncommon on Midgard so I don't see why-" Thor started but Natasha cuts him off.

"Because these were atomic bombs; they vapourised people, gave them injuries that shortened their life by decades or made them die in agony whilst all their cells became infected with Radiation. This is one of the reasons why many Eastern European and Asian companies hated the Starks, still do in many cases," she glanced at Wanda as she said this. "They hated Howard Stark because he was America's attack dog. They hated Tony Stark because he seemingly didn't care who his weapons went to and only stopped making them when he got back from Afghanistan to cover his own ass."

"Even people in America thought that about Tony though." Scott spoke up, almost regretfully. "Hell, Pym told me he suspected Afghanistan was an inside job and Stark was working with them all along. Gotta say it sounded convincing at the time he told me." He spotted Rhodey's harsh glare in his direction and quickly silenced.

"What have I told you constantly about what we do? Collateral damage is necessary and unavoidable." Howard bit out coldly. "The ends justify the means. You don't get it. The Japs weren't going to stop so they had to be killed. You don't hear people calling me the Merchant of Death do you? No…" Howard purred, "I'm a war hero. If there's one thing I regret making it's you. You break everything you touch."

Steve shivered slightly at the cold mentality. 'How can anyone just shrug off so much death as collateral damage? As unavoidable?' He reminded himself that this was just a hallucination and that the real Howard must have felt awful for what his weapon had done.

"He just built the bomb, he didn't launch it; It wasn't his fault." Steve murmured to himself before his gaze flicked to Wanda who had just suppressed a flinch at hearing that. Another part of Steve's mind argued back upon seeing her. 'No. He knew what he was doing, what it was capable of and he knew it would be used. 225,000 people…'

"The only reason why one was a war hero and the other was 'The Merchant of Death' was the difference in the wars." Vision spoke evenly and logically but there was a hard edge to his voice that hinted he was angry at what the hallucination said. "The difference between how people viewed the government, the military and war."

Howard disappeared soon after saying that, Tony watched him leave. He felt heavier, almost as if he was carrying an extra weight on his back.


Moodily, Tony limped through the sand. "I'm a war hero, Tony'" he sneered. "Yeah right, you cold calculating bastard. I wonder what your precious Captain America would think of you now."

"Got to say I'm not a fan of what he did." He heard a soft American voice say, "hello Tony."

Tony felt his insides freeze, he turned around to face the hallucination "Why did you have to turn up?"

Steve looked more handsome in the hallucination than he did in any of the posters; with perfect blonde hair, glistening sapphire eyes and the distinctive vibranium shield perched across his back.

Bucky wolf whistled teasingly and nudged Steve who appeared very uncomfortable. He couldn't stop staring at his other self; the perfect other self. Pondering on what the hallucinations appearance could mean, Steve folded his arms and smiled a little. 'Maybe this just means that Tony didn't hate me so much later in life and he grew out of it.'

Peter smiled and made a high pitched noise of excitement that he quickly tried to conceal as a cough.

Tony felt a strong urge to punch him straight in his perfect teeth.

Steve gave a full bodied sigh, ' That was that hope dashed. -I guess Tony always wanted to punch me.'

"When you were younger you looked to me for validation and encouragement when you got none from your father. Your thoughts of him led back to me." Steve smiled.

Steve squeezed his eyes shut briefly as guilt rose up in his chest, he found it hard to believe that he was that much of a comfort to Tony at this moment in time.

"No fucking wonder." Tony's lip curled, "he loved you."

"You did too." Steve replied and the sneer dropped off Tony's face.

Steve waited for the expected denial of this accusation but he was shocked instead by the silence his hallucination was met with.

"No way…" Steve gasped, it was as much of a confirmation of truth as the dark glare the hallucination received.

Tony hobbled away from him.

Steve walked after him at a steady pace.

The team followed, shocked by what they unearthed. "This doesn't make sense, from what I heard Tony and Steve never got on even when they were 'friends.'" Scott commented appearing very confused. "Well I get that Cap's good looking but-"

"It's not that type of love." Natasha hissed back, "have you felt arousal from Stark? I know I haven't. There's a thin line between hate and love, particularly in this case. The lines are blurred here for Tony, he deeply respected Cap but he is also jealous..."

"Well I don't anymore! I can't stand the sight of you and your perfect face. I don't need You! I never have! There are people who love me at home. Who cares if Howard wasn't one of them? He's dead. I have a mentor that adores me that makes up for that ten times over." Tony snarled ferociously as a retort.

All of the group cringed at that.

"And yet you imagined me and not him here…" Steve narrowed his eyes at him, "why?"

Tony shifted uncomfortably. "My subconscious and I need a talk. I'd rather he was here."

Steve flinched at that.

"No you don't though… That's because you know this mentor of yours, Stane, has a dark side. You get an uncomfortable feeling around him sometimes. There are thing he does to you that you know are wrong but you let it slide. You are worried deep down that he'll withdraw his support if you mess up or disappoint him."

"That sounds pretty toxic…" Peter frowned, "but not surprising, sadly, especially not with what we've already seen." He was just thankful that Tony was a much better mentor than Obadiah was.

"You put so much trust in him, but you can't read him. At times you know he's manipulating you… he's as hard to read as Janus."

"Janus?" Sam asked the others, faintly confused as to what the hallucination meant.

"He's the Roman God of Passages," Bruce spoke up whilst focusing intently on the memory with narrowed eyes. "He's well known for having two faces at the front and back of his head. The hallucination is voicing that Tony finds Obadiah as hard to read as a God with two faces and always has done. However until now this has never really concerned him because he was sure Obie was on his side… now he's doubting him."

"So no, you didn't really want Obadiah here. Not when you fear that he could be berating you for what you had to do to get out." Steve said sadly, "You expected me to do so as well especially being 'perfect Captain America' and to be honest I was disgusted by your methods." Cap frowned, "War brings out the worst of us. Trust me, I know Tony, after Bucky… I had to admit I had less qualms about killing."

"That's true." Steve whispered, both Bucky and Sam looked to him worriedly, Bucky moved closer to him and placed his hand on his shoulder.

The gesture seemed right somehow to Bucky, especially when Steve gave him a wobbly excuse of a smile in response.

Tony exhaled shakily, "So I'm not bad?"

It was a question he was reluctant to voice, but with the example of Yinsen being held over him he felt like he'd fallen short. Especially when he enjoyed the killing he took part in in that camp.

Wanda cringed.

It was a feeling that she could understand, especially with all she took part in with Ultron, in Sokovia she had enjoyed the power she'd held over Stark when she had violated his head.

"Get out of here, son. You'll redeem yourself, you aren't past that point unlike those terrorist monsters. You know what you have to do." Tony had noted that Cap had completely dodged the question but obviously he wasn't past redemption even to the hallucination version of Cap.

Steve stared, shellshocked at his hallucinatory counterpart. He couldn't believe his counterpart was that… nice. 'I don't think I've ever behaved like that towards Tony…' guilt curled ruthlessly in his gut at that thought.

"Where should I go? It's not like I'm going to survive long out here anyway." Tony responded.

"You do though!" Peter exclaimed. "Come on, Mr Stark you can't give up now…"

Hallucination Cap glanced around the sand dunes before looking to Tony sharply. "How about straight ahead?"

"Aye Aye Captain." Tony shrugged with his less injured shoulder, Cap offered him a smile that gave his chest a warmth unrelated to the arc being heated by the desert sun.

They walked together in silence for a while, Tony would try and fill it but he found the weight he had been feeling since Howard's hallucination had gotten heavier.

It took more effort to drag his legs, particularly his injured right leg now.

Sweat gleamed across his face and what they could see of his chest. His cheeks had flushed an unmistakable scarlet whereas before, the pink the team had seen, they had written off as mere exertion from the adrenaline of busting out of the camp.

Bruce was now worried, Tony was ticking off a lot of the boxes for Heat Exhaustion.

Tony could feel bile rising up his throat. 'Fuck. I'm going to vomit.'

His head pounded harshly and he was quickly losing his strength to hold back his sick. Barely managing to hold back long enough to drop to his knees and aim downward into the sand.

"Oh Shit!" Scott stopped and gave Tony a wide berth, "Why was he suddenly sick? Is it a concussion or something?"

"Maybe, but it's more likely a combination of that and heat exhaustion." Bruce worried his lip anxiously.

The hallucination Steve frowned, "You know I would help you if I could."

"You can't help the dead…" Tony gasped raggedy as he spat out the remaining bile in his mouth.
The hallucination Steve tried to encourage him, "You're not dead yet. You've got to get up and go back-"

"Tell me Captain Asshole, what have I got to go back to? Your best girl doesn't even remember me, just you. You know what, fuck you! I don't have a Bucky Barnes to fight for anymore, my best friend is dead and it's my fault. I paid him and everyone else to stay anyway. Obadiah I don't fully trust now especially not with what I've just seen he's either hidden a stolen shipment or actively double dealt behind my back. So you and your perfect apple pie ideals can go fuck right off!" Tony kicked some of the sand over his sick before he stood.

However upon doing so he noted that Cap was gone.

He found that although he had wished Cap away earlier he now wanted him back.

"What I don't get is why he imagined him in the first place." Bruce frowned, "I heard with PTSD psychosis the hallucinations have to directly relate to the event."

"Sometimes there is an emotional connection." Sam answered, "and they all make sense if you think about them like that. The bots, he built them but unlike the iron man suit that was made out of desperation they were clearly made out of love. They are things he wishes to return home to and they give him the drive to keep moving. Rhodey," Sam looked to his friend as he said this and decided to brief this particular point out of concern for him. "He relates obviously to the event itself and emotionally. Howard related more emotionally than anything because he considers himself a disappointment to his father and a failure because of how his weapons ended up. It's clear that he felt like he never measured up, then you turn up, Steve." Cap jolted a little at his mention, "The idol he was constantly compared to by Howard and the one he neglected him for. It's clear that Tony felt like he failed to measure up against you and that you would have never resorted to the brutality he did." Steve cringed heavily at that.

"Pathetic." Tony hisses harshly to himself, "Utterly pathetic."


The long stretch of sandy terrain added insult to injury, the sun was now beating down on him harshly leaving him soaked in sweat even as his mouth felt as dry and coarse as the sand and his chest as hot as the sun's rays.

Tony couldn't tell how long it had been but the silence and desolation of the bright landscape was getting to him.

'I almost want Howard back to taunt me.'

"Wow that's how you know the desert is getting to him." Clint bit out.

Muttering angrily under his breath at that thought he yanked his jacket from his waist and wrapped it around his head.

"Very fetching Stark."

Their initial laughter at the sight of Tony looking ridiculous with the jacket around his head died completely when they heard that voice.

Tony stumbled and stilled at that heartbreakingly familiar voice, he was about to turn when the hallucination took the initiative to move in front of him.

"Yinsen."

Sam's lip twitched, he had been wondering why some form of Yinsen hadn't appeared in the psychosis, but it seemed it had just been a matter of time.

"Hello Stark." Yinsen's face broke into a massive grin, which only grew wider as Tony remained speechless and gaped at him. "Nothing to say?"

"I-You're," Tony sighed heavily, "you're not real."

"No, but that does not mean that I'm not here."

Tony scrunched his brow, "is this some spiritual 'the dead don't really leave us' mumbo jumbo, because I've never really believed that. You're just a hallucination brought on by heat and dehydration."

Steve let out a sad sigh, he wished Tony did believe it to some degree. His Catholicism had been a crutch for him after he'd woken up in the 21st Century, to believe everyone he loved was gone forever would have been unbearable.

Yinsen shrugged with a quirk of his lips, moving to keep pace beside Tony.

"I'm sorry," Tony whispered.

"Whatever for?"

Tony shot him a distressed look and gazed down to his chest. There was no blood staining his shirt, no sign of the bullets that had taken his life.

"It was not your fault,"

"Yes it was! I should have come up with a better escape plan! I should have made something to protect you! WHY AREN'T YOU BLAMING ME?!" Tony was stunned by the anger and the anguish in his shout, but he found he couldn't stop. "You're dead because of me! Rage at me, tell me what an irredeemable stupid shit I am for allowing them to use my weapons to murder you. Do it!"

The team flinched at the clogging self hatred pushing down on them and they stepped away from him.

"You didn't allow them to do anything." Wanda murmured.

"That is not what you believe I would do if I were here." The hallucination replied softly, "I cared for you. You know I strive to see the best in people. At the time I obviously saw something in you that you don't see yourself. I wouldn't have given my life for you if I didn't think you were worth saving."

Tony shifted a little guiltily, "I guess I can't switch places with you even if I wanted to and you told me not to waste my life."

"That's right." Yinsen nodded.

"But how am I not meant to waste my life when I am trapped here?" Tony breathed, he was annoyed at how misty his eyes went when he voiced this.

"By not giving up. Someone will have definitely noticed that explosion, you've just have to keep walking till they find you." Yinsen advised.

Tony gave him a brief bright eyed smile before moving closer to Yinsen whilst they trekked together across the sand dune.


Tony kept stumbling forward, exhausted under the heat of the sun. His mouth was as dry as the desert around him and his legs felt like they were about to give out from under him.

He didn't hear the quiet roar in the distance over his own pounding head at first, and when he did register it he passed it off as exhaustion and the heat messing with his head. He kept his focus on moving one foot in front of the other, his pace had slowed and he was barely able to stay on his feet. He was certain the only thing that was keeping him going was his own momentum.

Then he saw it.

Out of the corner of his eye, a helicopter zoomed past him.

He turned and saw another on his left, he honestly wasn't sure if he had ever felt so happy or so relieved.

Peter couldn't keep a grin off his face and he started bouncing around, whooping in joy when he realized Tony was finally being rescued.

The rest of the team was more restrained but just as relieved and shared smiles amongst themselves.

"HEY!" He yelled as he waved his less injured arm up in the air, waves of relief rushed over him as he watched the helicopter's lower towards the ground a short way from him.

Letting out a relieved laugh, he waved again more erratically this time and smiled into the sun. "HEY!"

He tried to run a little but quickly stopped as he watched the copters land, he dropped to his knees but kept his arm elevated in a peace sign.

Sand whipped around them from the wind of the chopper and they could feel exhaustion seeping off Tony as he finally let himself relax.

They all wondered how long had he been walking for in that heat.

'They're here to save me. YES! I'm not going to waste my life after all.'

A group of men rushed from the chopper, a man he quickly recognised as Rhodey led them to him, with a huge grin on his face.

'This feels so real…'

"How was the funvee?" Rhodey asked, Tony saw the concern behind that joking question and thanked every god he didn't believe in, that he didn't voice it.

He sounded different than before, so much so that it clicked with Tony that his best friend was actually here.

'You're alive! YES! Rhodey I could kiss you!'

Rhodey couldn't help the grin that slipped across his face as he let out a laugh that was both fond and slightly embarrassed.

Sam slung an arm around his shoulder with a incorrigible smirk on his face, "Tony and Rhodey, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-"

Rhodey shoved him into the sand, "What are you? 5?"

"I-N-G," Sam continued singing the childish song unabashedly, soon joined in by Clint as Thor laughed loudly and mimed kissing.

Tony let out a smile of pure relief and shut his eyes as he felt Rhodey place a hand on his shoulder, drawing him in for a hug.

"Next time you ride with me, ok?"

Tony gave a small nod before he felt Rhodey pull him close and place a hand on his back, he feels thankful that the bandages are now off so Rhodey wouldn't be able to suss out that he was branded there.

Rhodey frowned at himself, he had suspected because of how twitchy Tony was and how careful he had been not to show his back that he'd been whipped.

At the time he didn't know to handle it so he honoured Tony's privacy and figured that if Tony needed or wanted to open up to him about it he would.

He's proud of himself for not flinching but he wished he had the energy to reciprocate.

Instead he relished in the fact that his best friend was alive and here.

'Oh thank god I didn't kill you. I love you so much.'

Sam made kissy faces again to Rhodey who smiled and snorted.

Rhodey found he didn't mind too much this time though, 'I love you too Tones.'

He was glad Rhodey knew him well enough not to say anything as he tucked his face into his best friends neck with damp eyes.

However, he thought he could feel Rhodey pull him just a bit tighter.