Chapter 8
Explosion
I know a day late forgive me. But this chapter was very hard to write and my poor Beta had to suffer through it. Thanks, Svart Jasmin you are the best. Just a friendly reminder this story is dark.
Christian
Impotent rage is coursing through my veins, threatening to boil over like hot lava from a volcano, and I only have myself to blame.
You stupid fuck! You dumb fucker! How could you have screwed this meeting up so bad? Now you really scared her away. I run my hands furiously through my hair. I want to smash something, break something the way I have just been broken into a thousand pieces. She does not want me and who could really blame her? I am a worthless husk of a man. I thought she was different from all the others; pure and innocent and caring. But she isn't. She is throwing me away like I am nothing. Well, I am not a 4-year-old little boy anymore, I won't stand for it, not anymore. This time, I will claim and keep what is mine no matter what it will cost.
She wasn't being honest with me, there is more behind her rejection and I intend to find out. I take out the information on her that Welch has provided. I can dream her background check by now. I am looking for something, anything that can give me some insight on her daily life. She said that her life had taken a turn recently, but refused to specify. Well, if you won't tell me yourself Miss Steele, I will find it out on my own. I scan through the pages of information. Itinerary: pages total 20 stands in bold letters on top of the paper, yet I only count 8 pages. How could I have missed this? And more importantly, where are the rest of the fucking pages. I feel the anger well up again in full force. I slam my hand down on the phone on my desk.
"Andrea, Welch, NOW." I seethe through the phone sounding like a complete Neanderthal, but I don't give a flying fuck.
"Yes, Mr Grey." Andrea says without flinching. She and Ros are the only ones around here that can handle my outburst without batting an eye. I slam on the phone again and the intercom goes dead. Moments later Andrea calls up again.
"Mr Grey, Mr Welch is on line one." She says, ever the professional.
"Thank you." I mutter in a more conciliatory manner. I don't want to lose Andrea; she is a brilliant PA.
"Welch, I am missing twelve pages in the itinerary section of the file on Miss. Steele. Where. THE. FUCK. Are they?" I hiss.
"They should be within the file I provided for you." He says stoically.
"Well, it is not fucking in here. I'm missing possible vital information. I need to know where Miss. Steele travelled to during her time in Vancouver and Seattle. Can you manage to give me that information or do I need to hire a private eye." I snap.
"Sir, that information was provided to you on August 15th. My assistant Kaiser handed it over to your second PA Miss. Blandino. But I am happy to type it out and send it to you again." Welch replies calmly.
Welch is very old school. He still types all his reports out on an antique typewriter. He is afraid to leave a digital trail. Paper, he says, can be destroyed, but digital evidence always leaves a footprint. And because some of the stuff he does isn't exactly legal, he is extra careful with what he does. Except for handing over a crucial file to my idiot intern Olivia Blandino. My hands tremble with rage.
"Send me the file again Welch. Today!" I growl and hang up the phone, then press the speaker button again.
"Andrea, get Olivia in here right now." I bark.
"Yes, Mr Grey." She answers quickly.
Moments later Olivia comes shuffling into my office, fear etched on her face, but I don't care. I am boiling with rage about her fuck up.
"Miss. Blandino. On august 15th, Mr Welch's assistant Mr Kaiser brought a confidential file in that needed my attention immediately. Can you tell me why some pages from that particular file are missing?" My voice is soft but the anger is clear.
Olivia is nervously wringing her hands and refuses to meet my gaze.
"I accidently spilt some coffee over some of the pages. I tried to dry them and type them over but they were too far-gone. I called Mr Welch's assistant and asked if he could send a new file but he told me it would cost time to assemble everything again."
I have half a mind to fire her on the spot. The only thing stopping me is the promise I made to her father Senator Blandino. He has been proven a very valuable asset in guarding and protecting GEH's interests, and I don't want to piss him of. His daughter, however, is a stupid girl that cannot distinguish a pig from a cow.
"Why the hell wasn't I informed of this fuck up! I could have expedited the process." I hiss.
"I, I .. I don't know sir." She murmurs out softly.
"Get the fuck out of my office and send Andrea in." I bellow, fed up with her ineptitude.
Andrea enters my office swiftly with her iPad in hand.
"Get Olivia out of my office. I don't ever want to see her again." I snap.
"But she is the senator's daughter." Andrea counters.
"I don't care if she the Queen of goddamn England! I want her out. Place her somewhere where she can do no harm."
"Yes, sir. Would you like me to walk you through your afternoon's schedule?" She asks, unaffected by my outburst.
"Cancel and reschedule everything and get Claude Bastille in here. I will be out for the rest of the day." I growl as I grab my jacket and walk out of my office without a backwards glance.
I need to blow off some steam and I am not waiting until Claude, my personal trainer, gets his ass here. Taylor is immediately by my side.
"I will be in the gym for a while." I tell him.
"Yes, sir." He replies, stoic as ever.
We enter the elevator and press basement level where my gym is located. I quickly dress in a t-shirt and sweats and start doing some warming ups before my bouts with Claude, who arrives 30 minutes later.
"You ready to get your ass kicked?" Claude taunts.
"Bring it on." I reply confidently. We don our kick boxing gear and make our way to the boxing ring. Claude wastes no time and he deals out the first punch hitting me in the jaw.
"Faster Grey you are too slow." He says while throwing out an upper cut that I barely manage to block. Claude is a former Olympic gold medallist and the only one who can beat me.
"Block higher Grey. None of your business bullshit in my ring. Focus!" He snarls while he hits the side of my ribs. The physical pain is a welcome distraction to my mental agony.
I block his next to blows but I'm too slow for his roundhouse kick and sweep, knocking me hard on my ass.
"What is it, Grey? I have never seen you so unfocused. Some chick cramping your style?" he taunts.
I feel the anger well up inside me again. I quickly jump up front kick and then sweep his right leg, making him lose his balance and tumble on his ass.
He smirks cockily at me.
"Looks like I found the root of your problem."
"Fuck off Claude." I mutter, only enticing him further to egg me on.
The next 15 minutes we continue our sparring, and I am exhausted at the end of the final round. It feels like I have run a marathon.
"Tomorrow again." I say slightly out of breath.
"Count on it." He replies and shakes my hand before heading off to the showers. I wipe my face with a towel and greedily gulp down my bottle of water before heading off to my private shower. Once I am dressed, I quickly check the messages on my blackberry. I have missed calls from Elliot and Elena and some urgent emails from Ros. The rounds with Bastille have only slightly taken the edge of my bad mood and I am not sure if I want to deal with either Elliot or Elena right now, but I know they will just haunt me if I ignore them for too long.
I sigh loudly and decide to call Elliot first while walking towards my car with both Taylor and Sawyer in tow.
"Yo, Bro!" He answers cheerfully on the second ring.
"What do you want Elliot." I reply sullenly.
"Jeez, bro what crawled up your ass and died." He rebukes good-naturedly as always.
"Elliot, get to the point or I'll hang up. I am busy." I snap impatiently.
"Seriously bro chill. I want to show you something. I am texting you the address now."
"Elliot I have no intention of spending my night with one of your hook-ups and her "hot" friend. Goodbye."
"Jesus, Christian. Can you just trust me for once in your freaking life? There are no girls out here unless you count Joan but she is a dyke. Just come to the damn address. It is not like I am asking a whole lot from you."
I sigh. He does have a point. Elliot is uncomplicated and happy. He always wanted a closer relationship with me but I always held back afraid of showing him the monster I truly am.
"Fine." I reply petulantly.
"Good, laters Christian." He says and hangs up the phone. I instruct Taylor to drive to the designated address and resign on calling Elena while I am on my way.
"Christian. What gives?" She purrs through the speaker.
"What's up Elena?" I say straight to the point.
"I haven't seen you in weeks and you sound so tense. Do I need to arrange a girl for you?" She asks without preamble.
"Seriously Elena if I needed a girl I would have called you myself. And I can't say that the last ones you sent me where satisfactorily. Is that why you called?" I say a little irritated.
"Calm down. I am merely offering. I don't know what is wrong with you lately but you are losing control. I worry about you. Let's meet for dinner tomorrow night so we can chat up."
Elena is right I am losing control and Miss. Steele is to blame for that. Maybe Elena can shine some fresh light on the whole situation.
"Sure, fine. Upcoming Friday 8 o'clock at the mile high." I say and hang up without waiting for her reply.
I stare out of the window and watch the landscape pass by. We are clearly heading to an address near the Puget Sound. We drive through an affluent residential neighbourhood with large houses, loads of green, and well-equipped and kept playgrounds. At the end of the street, Taylor makes a sharp right and drives up a long private road until stopping at a large iron wrought gate at the end of it. Taylor presses the intercom and I hear Elliot disembodied voice usher us in. The driveway is long with large cedar trees flanking either side of the road making it feel grand and powerful. A beautiful meadow with wild flowers is right behind the line of the trees. An unfamiliar feeling churns in my gut. It is like being homesick and coming home all rolled into one, and in that moment I know I should be right here.
I gasp in surprise when I see the large sandstone Georgian manor in front of me. It looks like something straight from one of Jane Austen's novels. Even in scaffolding, it looks utterly magnificent. Elliot yanks the car door open and gives me a broad grin.
"What do you think?" He asks.
"It is amazing. Whose house is this?"
"Technically it is a Grey construction property. Remember the realtor friend of mine Olga Kelly? I asked her if she could keep an eye out for property on the sound because I knew you always wanted something like this. A couple of months ago this came on the market and she tipped me. It was in terrible shape to I managed to buy it rather cheaply and we have been remodelling it ever since. Come let me show you around."
We walk inside of the house and Elliot starts the tour. The hallway is large with a double mahogany spiralling staircase, and the floors are checkered black and white tiles. Behind the stairs, there is a magnificent large window overlooking the sound. The whole place feels light, airy and serene; so unlike Escala.
"Wow, Elliot I am impressed." I say slightly awe struck.
"Come let me show you the rest of the house." He says while walking towards the living room area. Elliot tells me about all the latest innovative techniques that are used to make the house eco-friendly and energy efficient. The house uses a heat pump to warm and cool it. The roof tiles incorporated the latest solar panel technology and the glass windows produce energy through sunlight. The house is almost completely self-sufficient in terms of energy production. Elliot explains and I am totally amazed. The floor plan downstairs consists out of a living room, kitchen, dining area, library, sunroom, poolroom, office space, and security rooms. Above the garage, there are staff apartments. Upstairs, there are six bedrooms with ensuite bathrooms. On the third floor, Elliot is planning a game area more for himself than for me. The basement consists out of a large wine cellar and fitness hall. Elliot is really good in what he does and I am thoroughly impressed.
"So what do you think?" He asks rather anxiously.
"The house is stunning. You have done an amazing job here Elliot." I say earnestly.
"So... Amazing enough to take it off my hands?" He quips.
"It is large El, very large, and I am just alone." I mutter.
"Seriously bro, you always wanted to live in a place like this near the sound. Now is a chance to fulfil that dream. You are not happy in Escala; you avoid that place like a plague. It is time to move on, leave the past behind and start anew. Settle down, find a good woman, have some kids. You deserve to be happy Christian. God knows you deserve it."
Elliot's little speech is making me feel uncomfortable. Do I really deserve to be happy? I really love the house and I want to move on with Anastasia. I wonder what she would think of this house. For a brief moment of time in my mind's eye, I see her standing near the window smiling at me her hand resting on her pregnant belly. I am shocked at the direction my thoughts are taking; it is just a silly fantasy. But Anastasia doesn't want you she will never be yours. A small venomous voice says snidely in my head. But lord knows I want her more than my next breath and I am a selfish man.
"Remember the club we visited back in Portland." I say with a soft voice taking Elliot by surprise.
"Hell yeah, I met the hottest girl ever and never got her number. It is not something I will easily forget." He replies. His voice laced with disappointment.
"Remember her friend? The brunette?" I ask.
"Yeah, the girl was stunning and you two seemed to really get a long." He replies smirking.
"Her name is Anastasia Steele and I really like her El, I never felt this strongly about any girl before. So I tracked her down. Found out she had some financial difficulties so I arranged an internship at GEH for her. I was so excited to see her again. And Lord when I did she was everything I remembered her to be and so much more. But when I tried to make my move she shunned me. I tried sending her flowers, asked her out on numerous occasions, texted her throughout the weekend. But she acted like I was some kind of pariah." I say dejected. I feel vulnerable and exposed baring my soul like this for Elliot. I half expect that he would joke about it but when I look up his facial expression is kind and honest.
"Wow, man I am sorry that sucks. Have you asked her why?" Elliot asks sympathetically.
"Yes, she told me that she had some personal problems and didn't have time for a relationship. She also told me that she doesn't want to date me cause I am her boss. But I know she is hiding something, something she is not telling me. She was just so distant and cold Elliot."
"Give her some time Christian. You are wanting too much from her too soon and it is probably creeping her out. If she has some personal shit going on she probably isn't in the right mind-set. Just tell her that you want to be her friend and want to help her. Let her open up to you that way first, earn her trust. It will probably make her feel more comfortable."
Elliot's advice makes perfect sense. I have been pushing and pursuing her hard. Maybe I should light up and be her friend first, she is probably a little overwhelmed at the moment.
"Thanks, El. I think I will do that."
"You're welcome little bro. Happy to help. So if you have tracked her down. Do you happen to have the phone number of her hot friend?" He inquires cheekily and it makes me smile.
"I"ll have Welch send it to you."
"YES! Thanks, bro you are the best." He says as we walk out of the house and Elliot eyes me up.
"So you want to buy the house from me? I can offer you a great price. Think of it as an investment for your bright future with Miss. Steele."
Somehow, that statement made me feel lighter.
"Fine, sold. Send me the paper work first thing tomorrow."
"WHOO, Yes! I knew you would bite."
I roll my eyes at him and get back in the Audi SUV.
"Laters, Elliot." I say and slam the door shut. Taylor starts the car and we drive back to my solitary fortress in the sky, where Gail is waiting with dinner; chicken casserole. After dinner, I decide to do some work and head into my office. It is over nine when Taylor knocks on my door.
"What is it, Taylor?" I ask without looking up from the spreadsheets I am studying.
"Mr Welch is on his way up sir."
"Oh, good he has what I asked for already. Send him in immediately." I say curtly.
"Yes, sir." He replies and leaves again.
Welch enters my office smelling like a Tabaco factory. I hate the smell if cigarettes it always triggers awful memories The man seriously needs to stop smoking. He always reminds me of the cigarette smoking man from the X-files. He exudes the same coolheaded elusiveness.
"Good evening Mr Grey." He greets politely and hands me a brown envelope. "The information you requested." He says coolly.
I eagerly accept it and begin to read. I immediately notice very frequent visits to a Portland veteran hospital when she was still living in Vancouver and even daily visits to a veteran hospital now, here in Seattle.
"Who is she visiting in the hospital?" I demand.
"Her stepfather Raymond Steele. Ex- army served during the first Gulf War." Welch replies immediately.
This explains a lot. Her cold distant behaviour he avoidance of me. She is just worried about her dad. Understandably so. It is a relief. Elliot is right I should offer her my friendship and help.
"What does he have?" I ask curiously.
"Cancer, lymphoma." Welch says stoically.
"Thank you, Welch. This information sheds a whole new light on things."
"No problem sir." He replies.
I dismiss Welch and quickly change in jeans and a crème cable knighted sweater. I walk to the wine cellar and select a pink Bollinger to celebrate my new friendship with Ana. I will give her the time she needs to recover from her dad before I move on to more.
"Taylor." I yell.
"Yes, sir?"
"I will be out tonight. I am taking the R8. You can take the rest of the night off."
"Thank you, sir." He replies and heads back to his apartment.
The drive to Anastasia's apartment was a short one, and I have never been more nervous. My stomach is in knots and I feel a little nauseous. I don't know how long I have been sitting here in the parking lot staring at her windows trying to build up the courage to ring her bell and talk to her. My palms are sweaty and I wipe them off my pants before taking a deep breath. "Man, the fuck up Grey." I mutter to myself before finally getting out of the car. I don't even have to call myself in an old lady holds the door open for me. I want to scold her for it buzzing in strangers in an apartment building is dangerous. I refrain and give her a tight smile. Anastasia lives in apartment 15, located on the fourth floor. My heart pounds in my chest when I knock on her door.
The door opens and surprise etches her beautiful face. She looks stunning; she is wearing some tight black yoga pants and a simple shirt. Her hair sits in a messy bun on top of her head.
"Good evening Anastasia. May I come in?" I ask while she continues gaping at me. I gently close her mouth and give her a smile. Utterly bemused, she steps aside making room for me to come in.
"Mr Grey, what are you doing here?" She squeaks.
"First I would like to apologise for the way I acted this afternoon. It was inappropriate of me and I am sorry. I know about your father and I am really sorry he has to go through that experience. I just want you to know that if you ever need anything or just a friend to talk to I am here for you." There, I said what I wanted to say. I feel lighter but very vulnerable. I just want her to like me the same way I like her.
Anastasia laughs a cold bark of a laugh. Her reaction is confounding me.
"You are sorry about my dad's situation? Please spare me the empty platitudes, Mr. Grey. You never gave a damn about my father or his co-workers when you closed down Olympia boating, the shipping yard he worked for. You never lifted a finger when the union published a report about the unsafe working conditions at the shipyard. You, sir, did nothing to help my father then, but now when you want in my pants you are suddenly concerned about my father's wellbeing and want to help him.
Well, it is all too little too late. We don't need or want your help, and I sure as hell don't want you as a friend." Pain, a gut-wrenching all-consuming pain rips through me. It feels like she cut out my heart and stamped on it. This rejection hurts so bad, even worse than when… No, don't go there not now. See you dumb fucker. She doesn't want you because you are a worthless little shit. She is seeing right through you. The small menacing voice taunts me. I feel something stinging behind my eyes and my throat feels like sandpaper.
There are tears streaming down her face and she frantically tries to wipe them. Her pain is hurting me on some deep level I don't understand.
Anger, blind hot rage sweeps through me. How dare she treat me like this? After all, what have I done to her? She is just like the crack whore, an ungrateful using and abusing little bitch. All my adult life I have tried not to feel extreme emotions but she, she pushes all of my buttons. Her insinuation that I made her father sick is both insane and offensive. I employ thousands of people and I pay and treat them well.
"How dare you accuse me of putting my staff deliberately in danger just so I could make a few extra bucks? What kind of man to you take me for? You know absolutely nothing about what goes on at my company! I should fire you on the spot for the slander you just spewed out of your mouth. I employ over a thousand people and I pay and treat them well. You have been one of the beneficiaries from my business ethics. Yet you accuse me of this bullshit? Well, fuck you!" I scoff loudly. "You know I always prided myself on being a good judge of character but boy was I wrong about you. You are nothing more than a clueless judgemental little bitch." I bark at her, my anger overflowing. I want to hurt her, really hurt her. Bend her over the couch and belt the shit out of her. I clench my fists at my side squeezing the bottle of Bollinger so hard I am half-afraid I will break it. I count down from 10 to zero. 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1- 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1 It doesn't work.
Even though she looks shell shocked and tearful, there is a stubbornly determined look on her face.
"Well, I am sorry the truth hurts, doesn't it? I am not going to be insulted in my own home. I want you to leave and I do not wish to see you ever again outside of our professional relationship." She says defiantly. Most people would have cowered in a corner at my outburst but she doesn't. I love and hate it at the same time.
I glare at her coldly wanting to spank her for what she just did. I need to get out of here before things get out of hand. I turn around, open the door then slam it shut without giving her a backwards glance. I am shaking with anger. I feel hurt, rejected and humiliated. The impotent rage cursing through me makes me feel like that abandoned 4-year-old boy again. I smash the bottle of Bollinger against her apartment building. With a satisfying bang, the glass breaks into pieces spraying its contents everywhere. I start my R8 and slam my foot down on the paddle. The streets are empty and I press down the throttle fully, soon hitting 80 miles an hour but I don't care. Nothing matters anymore. I want to see Flynn but I remember that he is visiting relatives in England at the moment. So, I cruise aimlessly through the deserted streets of Seattle for hours. It does something to sooth my rage a little. I finally make my way home and pour myself a glass of whisky while sinking down into my desk chair. Her words and indigent rage keep playing over and over in my head.
I remember the Olympia boating company. It was a medium sized shipyard with a unique order and delivery system. It was one of the reasons why GEH took 30% share in the company as a silent partner. Marcus Pratt, my acquisitions manager, dealt with them most of the time. I remember when Marcus came to tell me about 18 months ago that there were large concerns about the way the company was run. I never inquired about any of the specifics; I trusted Marcus judgement. He advised me to either pull GEH's interest or take over the company completely and liquidate it. I decided on acquiring and liquidating since the company was worth more in parts than as a whole. GEH made a very nice profit from it.
Had I known about the health and safety issues I would have launched an inquiry into the company. I should have asked Marcus for more details. I admit it was negligent on my part but was I really to blame for Miss. Steele's fathers situation or the other workers? The thought chills me to the bone. I may be a heartless asshole but I would never put people lives in danger to make an extra buck.
I need more information about this particular acquisition. I pick up the phone and call Marcus who answers on the fourth ring.
"Good evening Mr Grey." He says politely.
"Marcus I need the entire file on the Olympia boating company acquisition. Have it delivered to me first thing tomorrow morning."
"Yes, sir. Of course." His voice is laced with surprise.
"Good. Good evening." I hang up the phone and pour myself another glass of whisky. The alcohol does nothing to silence the excruciating ache I am feeling in my chest.
It is late when I finally go to bed but sleep does not come at all tonight. Tired but restless, I climb out of bed to find some solace on my piano. The sad notes of Bach's Marcello eerily echo through my cavernous living room. It soothes my bleak mood. The first light of dawn filters through my windows, illuminating the keys of my piano and I finally stop playing. I get up, stretch myself, and decide to go for a run. The streets are deserted for the most part this early morning. I only spot the occasional person walking their dog. I don't know why but I find myself at Anastasia's apartment block. It was never my intention to go there but I am drawn to her like a moth to a flame. I stand in a secluded spot, which gives me a great view of her apartment. The lights are still out and I wonder if she could sleep peacefully after our little spout. I hold my vigil until dawn fully breaks and the lights of her apartment flicker on, hoping to catch a glimpse of her, which I never get. Dejected, I run back to Escala and take a quick shower. The delicious smells of bacon, toast, and eggs fill my nostrils when I enter my living room but I am not hungry. Mrs Jones smiles at me when I sit down at the breakfast bar.
"Good morning Mr Grey." She says. She pours me a cup of coffee and sets down a plate containing my breakfast.
"Good morning Gail." I mutter. I dutifully eat up my breakfast before Taylor drives me to Grey House.
"Good morning Mr Grey. Do you want coffee?" Andrea asks efficient as ever.
"Yes, please."
"Milk?" She asks with a little smile on her face.
"Please. Then I would like to go over my schedule for today."
"Certainly sir. Also, Mr Pratt told me to give you this." Andrea says while handing me a brown cardboard archival box.
"Oh, yes. Thank you, Andrea."
When I am in the confines of my office, I open the box and start digging through the contents. Andrea comes in with my schedule and starts rattling of my schedule. It is filled with back-to-back meetings and a social lunch with the mayor.
I hardly have time to examine the contents of the box regarding the acquisition of the Olympia boating company and what I find has not set any alarm bells yet. I check in with Lyndon from marketing to hear how Anastasia is doing. She has been a constant on my mind and it is annoying the crap out of me. I am exhausted when I finally get home but once again sleep eludes me and I spend another fitful night behind my piano. When dawn breaks, I put on my running gear again and run towards Anastasia's apartment building keeping my silent vigil at the same secluded spot. You are pathetic Grey waiting like some lovesick puppy on a woman that hates your guts. The snide little voice runs clearly in my head and it occurs to me that I could be standing another day, a week a month or even a year just to catch a glimpse of her. This cannot go on anymore. She is mine. Even if she doesn't want me and I don't deserve her.
I run back, shower have breakfast and have Taylor drive me off to GEH. It is another day full of meetings and analyses and I find it hard to keep my attention to it all. At one, I get a call from my mother telling me she cannot make her meeting with Anastasia and asks me to fill in for her. I jump at the chance to see her again. Her hurtful words still echo in my mind taunting me every day.
When I get down to marketing Lyndon and some board members of Coping-Together are already waiting. I am surprised to see that Miss. Steele is not there yet.
"Lyndon I do not have much time were is Miss. Steele." I snap at him.
"You will be right in Mr Grey there was some trouble with the copying machines. It is fixed now." Lyndon replies politely.
"Good." I mumble petulantly, sit down at the head of the table, and sourly greet the rest of the people. I rationally know I should not take my anger out on my staff and I recede in controlling my emotions better. Normally I would have chilled my frustrations on a sub, but that does not seem to work anymore. I feel like I am on a constant precipice above a gaping abyss.
The talking seizes and all eyes train to the door where Anastasia has just entered. Collective mumbles and sighs of appreciation fill the room, pissing me off beyond the rational. She looks breathtaking. Her rich brown hair spills in waves over her slender shoulders and the little make up she is wearing accentuates her lush lips and stunning eyes. She is wearing a green dress hugging her in all the right places with a large brown belt and matching strap leather heels making her legs seem even longer. It is way too sexy for work for my taste. Images of her naked and strapped to the St. Andrews cross assault my mind.
My cock hardens and twitches in my pants making me feel flushed and uncomfortable. I want to fuck her badly. Claim her, own every inch of her body, mind and soul. The thought of not having her is slowly killing me.
The familiar anger rises inside of me again. I hate the effect she has on me and how the other men are drooling over her. She is mine. The fact is, I want to hurt her the same way she has hurt me. It is petty and vindictive, but right now I really don't care.
"Miss. Steele, have you been made aware of GEH clothing policy?" I ask her coolly.
She looks like a deer caught in headlights scared and unable to move. The sadist in me is pleased.
"Yes, sir." She stutters.
"Then can you explain to me why you are dressed like a two-penny whore waiting for the next cock to ensnare." I sneer at her, earning a collective gasp from all the other people in the room.
"Mr Grey sir..." Lyndon begins but I glare at him silencing him immediately. Tears are welling in Miss. Steele's eyes and I feel conflicted. The sadist in me wants to demean and humiliate her further and I am unable to resist the urge. Now she knows what it feels like.
"I. I..." she begins and I raise my eyebrow at her.
"Are you too stupid to form a coherent sentence Miss. Steele? I asked you a fucking question. Answer me!" I bellow. I know I am going too far, but I cannot stop myself.
She quickly wipes a tear from her face and the sadist in me roars with vindictive delight.
"I didn't think this was inappropriate work attire, sir." She manages to weakly goading on the sadist in me on.
"You didn't think it was inappropriate work attire? You thought wrong! I will give you an official warning. Once you're done with your little presentation you will go home and dress properly. Do you understand." I sneer.
There is a defiant look in her tearful eyes that cuts me to the bone.
"Yes, sir." She replies her voice shaky but clear.
"I haven't got all damn day. Start your presentation, that is what I am paying you for." I snap.
She wipes her eyes again and flicks the beamer on with shaky fingers, starting her presentation. Her voice is hoarse, she stutters from time to time, and the vindictive sadist inside me is dying to rip her a new one again. Surprisingly, she recovers pretty quickly and I am impressed with her efforts to promote Coping Together. The sadist in me quiets down, and the high from mentally flogging her dissipates, and I feel like an utter asshole for the way I treated her. How could I have lost control so badly? You really fucked this up, Grey. Fix this mess!
"Your efforts to promote Coping Together seem successful. At least I did not waste this intern position on you, Miss Steele." God Grey way to go sounding like an utter douchebag. This will not do.
She doesn't look at me but I can see the pain etched on her beautiful face.
"I shall rely your efforts to my mother. She will be pleased." I say in a more consolatory manner. Willing her to look at me. She doesn't, and remains mute.
"Well thank you for that lovely presentation, Miss. Steele. Mr Grey I would like to discuss some points with you if you have time. Miss Steele, could you write me a report when you get back from changing your clothes?" Lyndon asks pointedly.
"Yes, sir of course." She replies and quickly scurries out of the room, relieved to be away from me, and I never loathed myself more. The rest of the people in the room disappear as well leaving me alone with Lyndon who looks at me furiously.
"Mr Grey with all due respect, I do not appreciate the way you treated Miss. Steele. It was uncalled for. If you have issues with her attire, you could have told her that in private. This was frankly unprofessional." His voice in firm and unwavering. I admire his guts; I never expected him to call me out on my bullshit.
"Dully noted." I coolly reply and brusquely leave the conference room.
On my way back to my office, I hear people whisper; news of my outburst has travelled fast. They quickly scurry away when I approach them afraid to be the next victim of my foul mood. The rest of the week goes by in a blur and I have never been more miserable. A steady pattern has developed I try and fail to sleep, then play the piano until the break of dawn, go running to Anastasia's apartment and wait at my hiding spot until she gets up. I have checked up on her discreetly at work ever since my outburst, she has become silent and withdrawn, making me feel like an even bigger asshole. I need to make this up to her somehow but I am afraid of what she will do or say. I don't want to be hurt again. My phone rings it is Elena.
"Elena." I greet her curtly when picking up the phone.
"Christian darling. Are we still on for tonight?" She purrs.
Right, dinner at the mile club. I almost forgot.
"Yes, of course." I mumble petulantly.
"Christian what is wrong? You sound so down."
Elena is such a mother hen; nothing gets past her. She knows me so well and is my one and only friend.
"I will tell you tonight, not over the phone." I reply petulantly.
"I am worried about you." She answers.
"Tonight Elena." I repeat and hang up the phone.
I spend the rest of the day in a couple of conference calls and some due diligence work on a couple of possible acquisitions. At 18:30, I go home, quickly shower and dress before driving my R8 to the mile high club after giving Taylor the night off. Elena is sitting at a table near the windows, which gives a spectacular view over the city. Like usual, she is dressed in black and her platinum blond hair sits perfectly on her head. She looks great.
"Christian." She says affectionately and offers her cheek to me. I kiss her and sit down across from her.
"I ordered for us already. The pan seared scallops with chorizo and cauliflower puree for starters and the Angus rib-eye with mushroom purée and beef tea for main."
"Sounds good." I murmur.
The waiter comes over and pours us a Montenovo to go with the scallops. Elena puts her hand on mine and looks at me imploringly.
"I am very worried about you Christian. You are so tense and in a foul mood. What is going on? Please tell me."
Elena's concern is moving. She has always been a great friend. I pour my heart out to her and tell her everything that has happened over the last few months. If there is someone that would understand me, it is her. Her face remains impassive but she is listing intently her eyes burning into my skull like embers. Once I am done a sense of relief washes over me glad, to have it all off my chest.
Elena squeezes my hand in a sympathetic manner.
"Oh, Christian you are so obtuse sometimes. You are in love with this girl and she is in love with you without realising it either." Elena says brightly.
In love me? No... I cannot be, this is just some weird infatuation.
"No, no I cannot be in love." I throw back at her.
She waves her hand dismissively.
"Yes, you are. And that is wonderful news." She says but there is a strange glint in her eyes.
"How do I get rid of these feelings? It is driving me crazy, making me lose control. She doesn't want me, Elena, she made that crystal clear to me." I reply pointedly.
"How old is this girl?" she asks and raises an eyebrow at me.
"20."
Elena's face is a picture of shock.
"So young?"
"Seriously Elena, you bring that up?" I snap at her and she gives me a small smile.
"I was just a little shocked that is all. You usually like them older." She says in a consolatory manner. "You know what the problem is with these young girls? That they have absolutely no idea what they want. They are like soft clay that you can shape and form exactly how you desire. Take her by the hand and show her Christian." Elena says her voice has a sharp edge to it.
"Well, that is just the problem, Elena. She doesn't want me to show her anything. I cannot exactly force her." I reply irritated by Elena's simplification of things.
Elena looks at me sternly her facial features are taut.
"You are Christian Grey, dominant and in control. You don't ask, you take whatever the hell you want. You are not some little girl's puppet that she can play with and discard. Take her, dominate her and control and mould her to fit your desires, in the end, she will thank you for it. Her 'no' now means nothing. You should know that by now Christian, I took control of your life and look where you are now. One of the most, powerful, richest, successful people in the world. Do the same for that girl. Trust me she will be forever grateful for it. "
Elena is right I have been letting her take control. She is young, vulnerable and unable to take care of herself, let alone make any meaningful decisions. She needs my guidance, whether she likes it or not. I need to step up and take control of this situation completely.
"You are right Elena, like always. Thank you for being such a good friend to me." I say feeling much better about the entire thing already. From now one we will do it my way.
"Oh, Christian you don't have to thank me for being a good friend, it is my duty and my pleasure. If you need any help with the girl just let me know and I will be there for you." She says and smiles sweetly at me.
"Thanks but I think I will manage."
It is ten o'clock in the evening when I finally get home. The talk with Elena really was an eye opener. She is right there is no room for guilt and doubt.
I am the master of my universe and everyone in it either breaks or bents to my will; a fact Miss. Steele will soon find out.
