Chapter 18

Meet Me in the Middle

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Christian

I am furious, awed, frustrated, and totally bewildered. How dare she tell me no, or question my judgement? She is a force of nature, and I am a hopeless planet crumbling under her might. She is making me question everything I thought and believed in, and it's making me feel rudderless. I was so scared of caning her when she confronted me in the playroom that I needed to keep away from her. I don't understand this! Why did that feel so wrong? I have caned many women but I never felt like this. I have not told Elena yet; I know what she would say. She told me once I was too soft on Anastasia, and that I shouldn't give her any safe words. If she knew what I was doing now she would call me weak and feeble minded for sure. I don't want her to think I was a bad student of disappoint her. But worse of all, if Elena knew, she would most certainly try to interfere and I don't want her to go near Anastasia. Anastasia is mine and mine alone.

Elena never gave me any safe words; she told me that I should accept discipline without question, so I learned control. But somehow, it feels wrong doing the same thing to Ana. I should not have listened to those feelings, because now she keeps challenging me. I hate to admit it, but her denying us hurts like hell. I never felt this way before, and I don't think I can handle it.

I dismiss Sam instantly. I need to talk to her alone and reassert my dominance. I am calling the shots in this arrangement. It is about time she remembers this.

I narrow my eyes at her and stride over to where she is seated. I tower of her and she visibly squirms. Good!

"No?" My voice is deceptively soft.

She looks at me, defiance fierce in her eyes.

"I do not want to go public. If we did, I would not be able to work here anymore and get my degree." She says firmly confounding me.

"What do you mean?" I hiss.

She wrings her hands and looks away from me. I tip her chin forcing her to look at me. Her eyes are wide, both defiant and scared. "Look at me when I am speaking to you."

She swallows nervously.

"People are talking. When I got in this morning, I heard them gossiping behind my back. They say awful stuff. If we go public it will only get worse." She half whispers.

Gossip? I had not even thought of how that might affect her. I guess I am kind of used being a source for gossip. People seem to be obsessed with my love life. The thought that people are talking crap about her makes me boiling mad.

"What are they saying exactly? Tell me." I demand.

She is hesitant, almost unwilling. My patience is slowly slipping. I need to know now.

"Tell me!" I demand, my tone much more insistent now.

"They called me a whore. Saying that I sleep around with rich men for money. I guess they aren't that wrong..." Her voice is a near whisper, filled with sadness, and it tugs at those strange feelings that are whirling inside me. I hate that she thinks she is a whore. She is anything but. Doesn't she understand that I wanted her any way I could get her? Setting up this money trap was nothing more than a means to an end. Fury rages inside me. I want to hurt the people who are spreading this bullshit.

"You are not a whore. You only slept with me and no one else. The way I spend my money is my business and nobody else. I don't want you to ever think that!" I snap and she snorts.

"You paid me and I had sex with you. Our entire arrangement is coined around monetary gains for me. That makes me a whore." She says and I explode.

"Enough! You are mine and no one else's. I won't have you talking about yourself like that. Money was merely a means to an end. I want you regardless of that. I would take you any way I can get you. I want the names of those worthless pieces of shit and I want them now." I don't even realize that I am yelling and scaring her. It makes me feel like shit for some reason.

I sigh and gently stroke her cheek.

"I am sorry I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. Now, do you know the names of the people who are spreading these vicious rumors?" I ask again kinder this time.

She shrugs and hesitates again. I raise my eyebrow at her expecting.

"I was in the restroom. I just heard two women talking about me. I didn't see them I only heard her their names. Jenna and Kelly I think, they said that they got their information from Kylie Jordan." She confesses.

"Kylie Jordan, the other intern?" I clarify just to be sure.

"Yes, they mentioned her specifically. What are you going to do?" she asks fearfully.

"You will see." I answer darkly.

I pick up my phone and press quick dial.

"Roger, Its Grey send your intern Kylie Jordan up now."

"Yes, sir." He replies without question. Anastasia looks fearful.

"What are you going to do?" she asks.

"Ask her who she has been talking to and then fire her ass."

Anastasia looks appalled for some reason that I don't understand. Shouldn't she be happy that I am getting rid of her tormentors? Besides this will set an example; no one else will dare to talk ill of her again.

"But she needs this job. She can't afford college without it. Please don't fire her." She begs.

"She deserves it. She knows the company policy. I am not letting her hurt you like this. Why do you care anyway? She has been a pain in your ass for months." I snap.

She is quite for a moment.

"I don't like her, I think she is a bitch. But, I don't wish her ill will. If you fire her, it will ruin her life and I don't want that on my conscience. It's cruel. Can't you just reprimand her?" she asks.

Her reaction is baffling to me I expected her to be happy about it. But she actually feels sorry for the bitch. This beautiful, gorgeous woman either really is an angel or is really naïve.

"You are too kind to her, too forgiving. She doesn't deserve it." I growl.

She looks at me both confused and angry.

"Forgiving someone isn't about whether someone deserves it. Nobody deserves to be forgiven. You are in no position to talk about forgiveness." She throws in my face and her words cut right through me, it makes me feel uncomfortable. For a moment, I am at a loss for words.

I swallow and train my gaze away from her.

"Fine she will be disciplined, if that what you want." I acquiesce.

"Thank you, Mr. Grey." She replies visibly relieved.

"I will, however, send an email to everyone at GEH making it perfectly clear to them that this kind of behavior will not be tolerated, and if they insist on doing it any way they will be without a job. If I make it clear that we are in a relationship, the mystique about our relationship is off and people will quickly lose interest."

"Please don't." she begins and I feel my ire rise again.

"Anastasia don't push me. I understand that you resent the gossip but we just solved that. If we are seen in public people will ask questions, and it's best we beat them to the punch."

"It's not that! This entire relationship is a farce, and in six months we will both go our merry way, but people will still remember me as the intern that slept her way to the top. I want to keep what is between us." She says firmly.

I am spiting mad and hurt. This isn't a farce for me! This is everything I ever wanted; she is everything I ever wanted.

"We told your parents, I want to tell mine. I just don't understand why you can't at least try to get along with me. Nobody is going to judge for the relationship you have with me. People break up all the time." I need to placate her. I am not going to tell her that I will never let her go.

She looks at me like I have grown two heads and I scowl at her. A myriad of emotions wash over her face. She looks at me again all doe out and my heart skips a beat.

"Please, Christian it's really important to me. You can tell your parents but I don't want a public statement. Can't we compromise? I know I am stuck in this situation and I need time to adjust. In the contract I signed, it says that you will always put my needs first - I need the opportunity to build a life for myself after this is over. In return, I promise I will be more receptive to what you want for me, you know, keep my end of the deal."

Put her needs first, it is what the contract said. Elena always says that the needs of the dominant are automatically the needs of the submissive. If I did not want something, she always told me that her will was my will. Why isn't my will Anastasia's will, Elena's was mine? This is all so confusing and not adding up. I pull my hair in frustration. What did she say? She wants to compromise and be more receptive to my advances to her. This is bullshit; she should do what I say without question. She signed the contract dammit! Why am I even entertaining these thoughts? She should be receptive to me regardless. But she isn't Grey, she hates you guts. The little voice in my head makes an unwelcomed appearance. He is right, I don't want her to hate me I want her to... the thought is overwhelming, and my mouth and lips feel dry all of a sudden. You are unlovable Grey nobody will ever love you. The voice taunts in my head again. I shake my head silencing him, the thought is too painful and I quickly suppress it, focussing back on the problem at hand.

Maybe if we do this compromise, as she so eloquently asked for, she will come to me on her own volition. Maybe she will learn to accept me and want me like I want her. It is worth to try, punishing her and trying to break her haven't worked. Maybe if I try this compromise I can get what I want from her.

"If I order Sam not to make a statement about our relationship, what will your end of the bargain look like exactly?" I probe curious about this new deal she is proposing.

She looks thoughtful for a moment.

"I won't argue with you anymore when you ask something from me." She replies.

I scoff loudly. She shouldn't argue with me, period. It is part of the contract. This should not even be up for discussion.

"The whole essence of the contract is that you do as you told. If you argue with me, I punish you. You don't seem to fully grasp that. The only reason why I let you off the hook so often is because this is all new to you. No Anastasia, I want more. I want you to reciprocate my actions, at least act like you care. If you can do that, I won't go public with our relationship." I cock an eyebrow at her.

She looks horrified and it cuts right through me. Am I that much of a monster to her? She nervously wrings her hands and looks down on her lap avoiding eye contact. Suddenly she looks up and stares brazenly into my eyes.

"Alright, I will try and reciprocate your actions." Her voice is shaky but clear and I am completely bewildered. She said yes!? I still can't believe what I just heard.

"You'll do it?" I ask again bemused.

"Yes…" she whispers. I still don't believe her. A part of me is convinced she is pulling my leg just so I won't go public with us. I need to test her.

"Kiss me." I command and her eyes widen.

"What?" She hoarse whispers.

"Show me you can reciprocate. I have kissed you many times, now you kiss me back."

She looks hesitant unwilling even. I knew it she was just all talk.

"Well?" I taunt.

She slowly gets up from her chair and stands in front of me. She leans close and I drink in her delicious scent when she leans closer to me. I can almost feel and taste her sweet lips on mine; the thought alone is so very arousing. Her lips touch mine and her mouth slowly opens, her sweet tongue softly presses against my lips and I eagerly let her slip in. She tastes of fruity tea and mint; it is so very sweet. Her hand slips around my neck when she deepens the kiss. A tingle runs through my spine resonating in my crotch. Fuck I am hard.

I kiss her back with equal vigor. I want her, no; I need her here right now. My hand slips under her skirt caressing her thighs, moving upwards, brushing again her pussy. She shudders and tries to move away from me but I press her against me.

The phone on my desk buzzes disturbing our intimate moment. Fuck! I break away from her, annoyed, and my hard cock throbbing in my pants.

"Don't leave." I tell her and she sits back down on the chair she just vacated. She looks a little bemused, lost even.

I press the buzzer and Andrea's disembodied voice rings to the speaker.

"Miss Jordan is here to see you, sir. And I would like to remind you of your 10 o'clock with Mr. Welch and Mr. Kasich." Right, Fred and Barney, my own Flinstones. I wonder what they have found while researching Olympia shipping.

"Thank you, Andrea, send Miss. Jordan in."

Anastasia gets up to leave but I stop her immediately.

"Where are you going?"

"You're meeting with Miss Jordan." She murmurs as an explanation.

"I want you to stay her with me when I confront her. Please sit back down."

She opens her mouth and closes it again before sitting back down.

Moments later, Kylie Jordan confidently walks into my office. Her blond hair is placed high on her head and she flutters her lashes at me when she sees me. I suppress the urge to roll my eyes at her. Dumb twat.

"Miss Jordan, take a seat." I say coolly.

"Yes, sir." She replies eagerly while she moves to the chair at my desk. Her face falls when she sees Ana sitting there. I stand up straight and look down on her. She squirms a bit, and I know she is intimidated. Good. This bitch will receive a lesson she will never forget.

"Miss Jordan let me cut right to the chase. It has come to my attention that you have been spreading vicious lies and rumors about Miss Steele. Don't even think about denying it. I want to know who you told them to and I want to know it now." My voice sounds harsh and cold even to my own ears.

She stammers and squirms in her seat. "Uhm, I don't, I didn't..." she starts stammering.

"Miss Jordan, let me make this clear for you. Either you tell me now, or you will be out of a job in less than two seconds. Now. Tell. Me. I don't have time for your bullshit."

Her face has turned beet red and tears are streaming down her face. Does she really think turning on the waterworks will save her from my wrath? What a naïve foolish girl she is. If it wasn't for Anastasia's insistence she would be out on the street by now.

"I was just talking to Jenna Cranston and Kelly Bushman. I didn't mean it unkindly, please you have to believe me. I was just surprised you see..." She begins to ramble. I hold up my hand to stop her.

I really want to fire her; I have every reason to. Why should little miss Steele here dictate how I run my company?

"Miss Jordan, I am really not interested. You were mean, vicious, and callous about Miss Steele and myself. You showed zero respect for our privacy and made Miss Steele's working life a lot harder. This is all grounds to terminate you, Ms. Cranston, and Ms. Bushman immediately." She swallows and starts to beg but I tune her out.

Anastasia looks at me wide eyed I think she is both shocked and angry with me. The look she gives Miss Jordan is full of compassion. Something I don't understand stirs within me. This beautiful girl really is a saint.

"Mr. Grey. Please, this is not necessary." She begins and I cave. I promised her I just cannot break it.

I stare at the pitiful creature on the seat in front of me and sigh.

"Miss Jordan. I made a promise to Miss Steele here. She does not agree with me that I should fire you or the other two. The only reason why you are not out of a job yet is because of Miss. Steele's seemingly infinite kindness. I will let your supervisor know that you are on probation and that you have received an official warning. If you are caught, again spreading these falsehoods, you will be fired immediately. Is that understood?" I hiss.

She looks both surprised and relieved and quickly shakes her head.

"Yes, yes sir." She blurts out.

"Now, you will apologize to Miss Steele immediately, and you will apologize to the rest of the company for telling such vicious gossip. Am I making myself clear?"

"Yes, yes sir, thank you sir." She hastily replies.

"Good. You can start with Miss Steele. After that, you will send an email to everyone you told this shit and retract your words."

"Yes, sir I will." She says and turns her attention to Ana. She nearly trips over her words apologizing to Anastasia, who silently listens to her speech. Like the amazing human being she is Anastasia graciously accepts the twat's apology. For some reason I can't fathom, it makes me feel good, hopeful even. I shake my head and dismiss them both when Andrea tells me that Barney and Welch are waiting.

I quickly call Miller to tell him to reprimand Miss Cranston and Miss Bushman for their part in the gossip before ordering Andrea to let Welch and Barney in.

"Barney, Welch." I greet them curtly when they enter my office.

"Good morning Mr. Grey." They both greet in unison.

"What do you have for me?" I ask cutting straight to the point. I really hate idle chitchat.

"Sir, I have looked into the email server of Olympia shipping per your request, and you are not going to like what I have found. I handed over my findings to Welch who dug further; hence, I requested to have him[HM1] presence with this meeting.

"Cut to the chase, Barney. What did you find?" I ask impatiently.

He hands me a brown manila file. "Take a look for yourself, sir." He replies.

I open the file to see what he means. What the hell?

"These are all invoices for chrome based paint! I specifically ordered them to stop using this kind of paints because of the possible health risks. All these invoices are from after I took over! Why the hell has this never been reported? Did Marcus Pratt know about this? Was he involved?"

"The directors at Olympia used a private server in addition to the official company server. I managed to get in and retain the information that was on them. Mr. Pratt was not involved in their scheme. From what we have gathered thus far, Mr. Lathimer and Mr. Kershaw of Olympia shipping had a couple of people from the department of labor on their payroll. They systematically swept concerns regarding health and safety regulations under the rug to keep down costs and increase profits. The chrome paint is a prime example of that policy. These emails detail their actions, and how they were going to keep it from GEH. They also tried to oppress the union and threatened and fired workers who complained." Barney explained.

"But that's not all Mr. Grey." Welch continues "Because of their unfettered greed, they put the lives of a 120 people that worked at the shipping company at risk. I did some research into the employees and found that, out of the 50 people that worked with the chrome paint on a daily basis, 10 developed serious health issues, and 5 had minor issues with their health. Because you liquidated the company, they all lost their health insurance and have trouble paying their medical bills or getting another job. Mr. Kershaw and Mr. Lathimer plundered the fund that was set up to help them get other employment. Many of the former Olympia employees only received a quarter of the money that was put aside for them as redundancies. They skilfully managed to hide this from Marcus, and thus you. If it wasn't for Barney finding their hidden server we would never have known."

I am furious, blood boiling mad. Nobody fucks me over, and if these two fucktards thought they could, they have another thing coming. They deliberately put people's lives in danger just so they could make an extra buck and they did it right under my nose. Anastasia was right! I am responsible for what happened to her father and I feel like shit.

"I want the names of the employees of the department of labor that were on their payroll and I want it now." I hiss.

"It's in the file, sir." Barney immediately responds. Of course, they would have found that out for me already. There is a reason why I hired them.

"Good." I say before hitting the button of the intercom. "Andrea, get me legal in here right now and cancel all my morning meetings." I sneer and slam the button again.

"I am going to ruin these fuckers; all of them. Good work Welch and Barney."

The rest of the morning, I spend strategizing our next moves against the former owners of Olympia shipping and their cohorts at the department of labor. I want them arrested for fraud, blackmail, and corruption. My legal team advised me to hand over this information to the Justice Department and the FBI since the money they stole crossed state boarders. Unfortunately, I had to cancel my lunch meeting with Anastasia to sort this mess out.

It's late when I am finally ready to go home. I ordered Sawyer to take Anastasia home already since its past 20:00. I want nothing more than to have a hot meal a shower and to crawl into bed with her. She has the right to know what happened at the shipping company right under my nose. I will make it clear to her that those responsible will be punished for what they did.

My phone buzzes and I look at the caller ID. It's Elena. For some reason, I don't really want to talk to her right now. I reluctantly answer her.

"Christian, what gives?" She immediately says.

"Good evening to you too, Elena." I reply tersely.

"I haven't talked to since you got back from your business trip. Let's have dinner." She offers.

"I am very busy at the moment Elena. I will not able to this week."

"Oh, well it has been a while since I saw you and I am really curious on how your little project is going. Do you need any help training her?"

The thought of Elena seeing Ana vulnerable and in all her glory is horrifying. For some reason I don't fully grasp, I just don't want her near Anastasia. Ana is mine and only mine.

"I am fine Elena. We are doing well." I reply noncommittally.

"Well, I am really interested in how she is responding to you. You should collar her, take her to the club sometimes, and do a scene with her. I want to see how my star pupil turned out." She flatters.

She knows I don't do public scenes or share subs! Why does she keep going on about this? It is pissing me off.

"You know I don't share subs or do public scenes, Elena. Just trust me we are doing fine."

"I am worried about you, Christian. I am worried she will play and manipulate you just to get her way. I told you be firm and break her... Well, I suppose I can see for myself at your parents' charity event next week if you followed my advice. I met her once so I can hold that as a bench mark."

I really don't want to disappoint Elena, but I don't want to break Ana. I just need to see how our current amended relationship will be working out. If it fails, I don't want Elena to see it.

"Elena, I can handle this. And about my parent's charity, I would appreciate it if you didn't come there. I don't want you to talk to Anastasia. I need you to leave her alone until I have fully broken her. We can have dinner sometime next week to talk things through." I offer to soften the blow.

She is silent for a moment.

"Well, that is a highly unusual request from you Christian. What will your mother say when I don't show up?"

"Tell her you are busy. Make something up." I snap annoyed.

"Well, because this is so important to you I will. I care about you Christian, I just want what is best for you." She sighs. "We can catch up with a nice dinner at Canlis sometime next week."

"Fine. I'll see you next week. Bye Elena." I hang up the phone, glad to have her of my case.

Taylor and two other security guards are already waiting for me when I get out of the office. Having security around 24/7 since I became a billionaire is a necessary evil. It is like being surrounded by the secret service every minute of the day.

We take the private elevator down the garage. Reynolds opens the door for me, while Taylor gets behind the wheel of the car. Ryan rids shotgun with Taylor, while Reynolds follows us in another black Audi Q7. The drive home takes only 30 minutes, but I am eager to talk to Anastasia.

The car stops in front of the house, and Taylor opens my door before I get out.

"Good evening Mr. Grey." Gail greets me when I enter the house.

"Evening Gail. Where is Miss Steele?"

"In the library, Mr. Grey. When do you want to have your dinner served?" She asks kindly.

"In 10 minutes if possible."

"Certainly sir." She says smiling at me.

I walk to the library and see Anastasia sitting sideways on a chair in front of the fireplace. She is engrossed in a book and does not even notice me.

"Good evening Anastasia."

She startles and almost drops her book.

"I am sorry I did not mean to frighten you. Did you have dinner yet?" I ask.

"Yes, I hope you don't mind." She replies softly.

I move closer to her and stroke her cheek.

'No, not at all. I would hate it off you would go hungry. Although, I would appreciate it if you would join me in the dining room in 10 minutes. There is something I need to tell you. It is important."

She looks surprised for a moment.

"Uhm, sure." She murmurs and gets up from her chair.

"I am sorry that I had to cancel our lunch meeting today. I have been crazy busy. How was your day? Did people still bother you?"

"It was fine. Mr. Miller made those two women apologize and I have not heard anyone talking behind my back after the email you sent."

"Good." I say while nodding at her. I place my hand on the small of her back and guide her out of the library to the dining room.

"Sit. Do you want anything?" I pull out a chair for her and she sits down. I sit down next to her.

"No, I am fine." She replies. I call Gail in the kitchen and tell her to serve dinner.

A couple of minutes later she comes in with a delicious smelling sirloin steak, roasted potatoes, and green vegetables. I dig in immediately, appeasing my growling stomach.

"I have some news. You told me a while back that GEH was responsible for your father's illness. At that time, I refused to believe you. However, some things you said made me question that certainty. I did some research into our takeover and subsequent liquidation of Olympia shipping. What I have found out angered me greatly." I take out the manila folder and handed it over to her.

"What is this?" she asks.

"The things we found out. I can assure you those responsible will be brought to justice." I feel the anger rise again.

"They deliberately used chrome paint because it was cheaper even though they knew it was a health risk?" she asks completely aghast.

"Yes. After I ordered them not to." I point out.

"This is horrible. How many people got sick?" she asks horrified.

"10, including your dad. The people who worked with the stuff daily got very ill, and 5 have various lighter health issues. I want you to know that we have opened a fund to pay for their medical expenses. I am not the monster you think I am. Like I told you, the health and safety of my staff are important to me."

She is quiet for a moment, contemplative even.

"What will happen to the people who did this?" she asks

"They will be prosecuted. We have turned this information over to the authorities. They should be making arrests soon."

"I hope they get what they deserve. Thank you for taking another look at this on my behalf."

"You are welcome, Anastasia. Like I said, I was hoping we could start over. Get to know each other better before moving on to the playroom. I need you to trust me for that. Therefore, I am proposing something additional. Every day we will do truth or dare. You will ask me and I will ask you. What do you think?"

"I, I... Does that mean you won't initiate sex with me if I don't want to? Or is this just about the playroom?" she asks

What? Does she really hate the sex so much? What a load of bullshit! She loves it just as much as I do. She always came when we were intimate multiple times. It is this ridiculous socially constructed guilt that messes with her head, telling her she shouldn't like what I do to her. I had it too when I first started my affair with Elena. I need to make her understand that she should just let it go. I need to make it clear to her that it isn't a sin to love the sex she has with me.

But how do I do this without scaring her off? I look at her, her eyes are wide and pleading, and for the first time, I am at a loss for words and have no idea what to do…