A/n: Welcome all to the next chapter. This one will be from Bill's perspective, my favorite character. From the last chapter, you can probably tell Mabel isn't on of my favorites; personality wise, she's alright, not my cup of tea, but not that I dislike it. As a sister, she is absolutely horrible to Dipper, constantly demeaning and mocking him, and is clingy to him as well, as evidenced by her breakdown when she finds out Dipper wants to take on an apprenticeship with Ford. Which is why Bill will be roasting her mercilessly this entire chapter. So if you really like Mabel, I suggest you move along.
Contains some Mabel-bashing. And relatively graphic discriptions of violence. Be warned.
Disclaimer: If I owned Gravity Falls, there would be more Bill. Bill every episode.
These mortals are so easy to fool. That fat tourist was a piece of cake; almost too easy to be enjoyable, but I'm not going to complain when it brought me back into this reality. I do have unfinished business with a certain meddlesome family. That, and the face of absolute terror when he realized I was just going to kill him. Ha! Hilarious!
Hey, technically, I was just fulfilling the deal. His marriage was when he died; "til death do us part" and all that jazz. Really, the stupid human should be thanking me.
I was just following the familiar trace of the most interesting mind of Pine Tree; a human who was simultaneously smart and curious enough to discover countless intriguing mysteries yet dumb enough to not know when to quit. Resourceful enough to pull salvation out of nowhere, brave enough to stand up to a powerful being such as myself, and stubborn enough to keep going despite all obstacles. It was such a charming and likable mix. Unique.
Shooting Star loved chaos and manipulating people on a whim; both good traits, in my opinion, but she wasn't nearly as intelligent and inquisitive as her brother. As a mind demon, it makes sense for me to judge people based on their minds, and it doesn't take a genius to tell that Shooting Star's mind is lesser than Pine Tree's. If anyone bothered asking, I wouldn't admit that the reason during Weirdmageddon I picked to kill Shooting Star before Pine Tree was because I thought it would be such a shame to let such a talented and interesting mind go to waste so soon.
In fact, I'll probably save Pine Tree for last. Maybe I'll kill the rest of his family in front of him, make him watch as everyone he ever loved died painfully in front of him, utterly powerless as he realizes who he was messing with. I'd bet he'd start crying even before the first Pines member died. What a delightful thought.
Stanley and IQ would die the most painfully. The real question was how to do it; there were so many fun ways to torture mortals: fire, electricity, maiming, mutilation, drowning... So many possibilities.
I've decided. Stanley Pines will die strapped to a metal slab as I slowly skin him alive after individually sawing off each and every one of his fingers as his beloved nephew watches, pitifully begging for my mercy.
IQ is a bit more difficult. He didn't give into electrical torture, and killing him wouldn't be nearly as fun if the old man didn't suffer first. If physical pain wouldn't work, emotional pain would be the way to go. Maybe gutting Shooting Star in front of him and strangling him with her intestines whilst she's still alive will get him to show some fear and horror. Pine Tree would adopt such a deliciously disturbed expression then. Make the cutest little cries. It'd be beautiful, a sight to behold in its macabre glory.
And what a coincidence to run into Pine Tree in the middle of the street. Well, alleyway, but same thing. And it was a delightful fact that Pine Tree didn't run from me automatically.
"Bill?" Ah, the confusion. The mortal actually thought I was dead? That would be extremely funny if it weren't also so insulting.
"Are you going to kill me?" What? Where's the fire, the fight, the anger and spite that made Pine Tree, Pine Tree. Something's wrong. Someone did something to Pine Tree; someone made Pine Tree hurt... That's my job!! Pine Tree is my human to kill! Mine and mine alone!!
"Jeez, kid, whose funeral is it?"
"Not funny, Bill. Weren't you supposed to be destroyed forever?"
"Oh please. Don't get too full of yourselves. As if I'd let two idiots beat me. I'm a being of pure energy with no weaknesses! Foolish humans. Pah!"
"So, you're here for revenge then?"
"Sharp one, aren't ya? Well, that was the plan, but I don't quite feel like it now. No point in beating someone who's already so defeated." A few well-placed taunts should revive his fire; Pine Tree is, at heart, a spiteful creature that loves arguing back, the little spitfire.
"So even you don't want to deal with me anymore..." Something's definitely wrong here. It makes me so angry! But I need to contain my anger, just for now. Can't go around spooking Pine Tree before I figure out what's going on.
"What the hell happened, Pine Tree? Why'd you become so boring?"
"Hey, I'm not boring! At least I have better things to do than watch other people all day."
"There we go, PT! I knew you were in there somewhere! But, seriously though, what's wrong? Hurting you is my job! No one else has the right!"
"... I miss Gravity Falls. People believed me there. They didn't treat me like a freak there. I belonged there."
Ah, I see. "Bullying, then. Pah, they don't know what they're missing. Do they hit you? Because then that becomes my problem." Can't let weaklings think they can damage my things and get away with it.
Pine Tree just looks away awkwardly. Bingo!
"Well, it looks like you can use a friend right about now. Someone to look after you in your troubled times. Clearly, your family isn't helping you now, so why not me?"
"Why would you want to help me?"
"I don't want anyone else making my favorite meatbag miserable; that's my job. If it makes you feel better, we can make it an official deal."
"Another deal? No thanks. I've learnt my lesson the first time."
"Now, now PT, it's not like you have anything left to lose. Social life? What social life? Your relationship with your sister? It's not as if it's so strong right now or we wouldn't be talking right now. Your grades? Meaningless. Your parents? If they really cared about you, wouldn't they have noticed something was off? Hell, I noticed something was wrong within five seconds. Your life? Is it really worth living right now?
"I'll tell you what, I'll be your friend. You know what, I'll even sweeten the deal: I'll teach you magic too. And all you have to give me in return is a list of names; just tell me whoever is bullying you, who's making fun of you, and who's letting it happen. That's it; my special price, just for you."
"What's the catch? There's always a catch."
"No catch this time, Pine Tree. A straightforward, honest deal. Now then, PT, do you want to make a deal?" I extended my hand in trademark fashion. I know he'll take the deal; I just know it.
With a small amount of deliberation, Pine Tree put his hand in mine and shook.
"It's a deal, Bill, but..."
"But what?" Oh, how I hate it when there's a but...
"I don't know their names. I never bothered to learn them, and-"
"Well, I can't be mad about that; I'd do the same thing."
"And that list of yours essentially consists of the entire school. Everyone spreads rumors about me, pushes me around, insults me, or at least knows about it. Even the teachers."
"Well then, I guess that covers it for your side of the bargain. Not exactly a list of names, but it's good enough for me. You need a friend, so let's build one."
"Build one? Make a friend?" Oh poor, little Pine Tree, still so deluded by silly "common sense" and "conventional reasoning."
"Using magic, obviously. Don't be so obtuse, Pine Tree. Unlike most of these meatbags, you know that there are beings that exist outside of human reasoning. Just look at me." Never too early to start Pine Tree's magical education. Who knows? Maybe the kid will come in handy. Come to see things my way.
I think I'd like that. I'd like it a lot. A pretty, little obedient pet- a cute little kitten with adorable little claws. What a nice image.
"I'll give you the incantation, and I show you how to get all the necessary parts. We'll be done in a day. Now then, to the black market! I know a guy who made a deal and is late on payment. I'll just borrow your body for a little bit, and it'll be over quick."
"Wait! You're going to take over my body again!?"
"Relax, kid. I'm going to give it back; the whole reason we're doing this is so I get a body of my own for a while. Besides, you gave that sack of flesh to me in a previous deal, so I technically didn't even have to tell you in advance." Really, I didn't have to be so nice.
Pine Tree scowled- or at least, attempted to; it looked more like a petulant pout than anything. "Alright, fine. Just please don't injure me too badly, okay?" Ah, what's this? Compliance? A step in the right direction. Since Dipper is being so cooperative , I guess I can leave his body with only a few bumps and bruises.
"Good to hear it, Pine Tree."
I slipped into his body and boy! It like fits like a glove. It seems I'll have to be switching this deluxe body for a one-eyed one, but the new body will have a few advantages; one being I won't have any other contenders for it. Another being the natural superiority of a body made from magic; it requires less sleep, less food, and is slightly more durable than your average meatsack.
Now, most people would have difficulty finding a place that relies so heavily on anonymity and secrecy; I, however, am not most people. There are eyes everywhere, after all, even in places those idiots don't think about. And, from them, I see everything. Even certain locations.
I took a left after that Chinese restaurant that started up in 1952 as a front for a mahjong gambling ring. Then, I went down the alleyway between an office building with exactly four corpses hidden in the foundation because one of the contractors was secretly a serial killer and an old laundromat that has a no-questions asked policy and special detergent specific to natural stains.
I stop at the locked door in the middle of the alley, the one connected to the office building that leads into the basement where the real fun begins. Knock four times on the left door and wait a few minutes. And bingo! Here comes the dumb grunt.
"What's a punk like you wandering around these parts? Don't you kids know it's dangerous to hang out in places like this?"
It's funny how dumb some people can be.
"Actually, I'm here to talk to your boss. On behalf an old friend of his, a Mr. Cipher."
"I don't know about any Mr. Cipher."
"Of course you don't. You're just hired muscle; you're not paid to think. Just go tell your boss what I said. Like a good messenger boy."
Naturally, the stupid goon went away, but I'm sure he'll be back soon. And not with the orders he'd be expecting. Drew Harrison knows not to mess with me. And if he tries anything, he knows he's only making it worse for himself. Why risk your life when you can just do a few favors instead?
"... Boss says you can come in." Spitts out the disgrunted grunt.
"Why thank you."
The moronic grunt leads me down the stairs and the hall. We stop at the third door down the hall in front of a slightly larger office door.
"Go in."
Ah, yes, the pathetic bottom-feeder himself. Mr. Drew, chief organ broker in these parts, boss of a pathetic match of moronic lowlives. A man whose running on borrowed time.
"Now, boy, what message does Bill Cipher have for me?" Such arrogance for a 3-Dimensional meatbag.
"Bill Cipher would like to talk to you in person." I reverted to my true voice mid-sentence; I just love the looks of fear and horror on the faces of those stupid mortals.
"Bill? Wha-what do you want from me?"
"You know what I want: I want my due. But, you know what, I'm here to negotiate on the price. Instead of our previously discussed price, you can simply provide me with a full human digestive tract, a pair of human lungs, 8 pints of blood, the heart of a teenaged boy, and an empty room. And I need it all today, or else no deal. What do you say, Drew? Is it a deal?"
The fool definitely would take it; he hasn't killed his wife within the last thirteen years as per our arrangement. He'd certainly take the easier deal.
As expected, that weak-willed fool looked so excited. "Yes, yes! Oh, thank God yes! You can use the room across the hall; it should be empty from yesterday's shipment. I'll have my men carry the all the stuff there. I have to make a few calls, but it'll all be there within the hour. Thank you so much for your mercy!"
"Glad to hear it. I'm on a schedule here."
Now, I leave the fool who failed for thirteen years to put his money where his mouth is; the guy said he would do anything for power, and when I told him he could have power if he killed his wife, the man didn't do it. Wimp. At least the room he promised was usable enough.
"You can come back now Pine Tree. It's time for some magic." There. Returning his body should build some trust.
"You didn't injure me?"
"Now, now Pine Tree. You asked me to keep your meatsack in good condition. Don't be so surprised I did. And now, you need to draw a magic circle for the spell."
"A spell? I get to do a spell!?"
"But of course. I said I would teach you magic, and I will. When they get back with the blood, use it to draw a circle. Then draw another circle inside it. In the larger circle, draw the alchemist symbols for the four elements: wind, water, fire, and earth. Draw them where you would put the directions on a compass. Make sure you place the opposite elements across from each other. You remember those symbols from the time you found out about Quentin Trembly, right?
"Draw a triangle inside the smaller circle; that's where we'll place the organs when they get here. Then, all you need to do is chant 'starp manuh fo tuo ydob a em akem' three times."
"You really think I can do it?"
"Why, Pine Tree, I know so."
And when Dipper makes me a body, the real fun will begin.
