A/n: Welcome back. We're going back to Dipper's perspective today. Expect slower updates since school's starting back up again. Unfortunately.
Disclaimer: I don't own Gravity Falls; if I did, Mabel would have some character development.
Bill wasn't as bad as I thought he was.
True, he made some bad jokes and had a sadistic streak a mile wide, but he wasn't an absolutely terrible friend, even if that was only because of our deal.
I was surprised that he fully honored all aspects of our deal, too. I know, being a demon and all, he's obligated to do so, but he hasn't even tried to find a loophole yet or make this whole thing blow up in my face. I didn't really think he'd take this so seriously.
But the fact Bill is here raises a few questions.
For starters, how did Bill survive? When Grunkle Stan's mind was erased, Bill, who was inside his mind, should have went too. Maybe when the memories came back, Bill was able to come back the same way. I'm not familiar enough with the mindscape to completely rule that out as an impossibility.
But how could Bill escape detection? Why didn't Great Uncle Ford know about this? Shouldn't he have some sensor in place to watch for sudden bursts of magical energy?
Unless Great Uncle Ford didn't think Bill could come back and thus didn't take any precautions.
Great Uncle Ford made a mistake; I'm just glad it hasn't hurt anyone too badly yet.
Bill has been making good on his promise to teach me magic. Just yesterday, we spent nearly eight hours just practicing magic. We worked on incantations, magic arrays, and even elemental spells. I was able to summon fire in my palms and make it move the way I wanted to; it was so cool! And I was right about Latin being a good language for magic, too; it really came in handy, so all that studying was worth it.
The magic lesson was worth staying out so late, but my parents would beg to differ. Apparently staying out late on a school night wasn't acceptable to them, for whatever reason. I suppose the fault was mine for staying out too late, but it's not my fault that magic with Bill was far more interesting than staying at home stuck in my room because I'm "grounded."
I can't blame my parents for getting worried, though; it's normally dangerous for middle schoolers to walk around unsupervised at night, and I was out later than I ever was before. But I was going to be fine since I was with Bill, and any unsuspecting kidnapper who messes with Bill is sure going to regret it. They didn't know that though, so I forgive them for being so mad.
However, what my mom said was uncalled for. And extremely wrong. I'm the selfish twin? Says the person who wasn't there at Gravity Falls and didn't see what I had to give up for Mabel's happiness; she didn't see how I gave up my time with Wendy just to let her get that pig, or how I gave up my summer job as a lifeguard with Wendy just to help her mermaid boyfriend, or how I put myself in an uncomfortable situation and eventually mortal peril just because she didn't want to break up with Gideon in person. I had to sacrifice my time and energy to help her with her stupid sock puppet show just so she can woo some boy when I wanted to solve the mysteries of the author of the journals. I risk my life to save Mabel when she gets herself into bad situations, like with the gnomes, and Gideon, and the golf ball people. I risked my life trying to save Mabel, and everyone else in Gravity Falls, from Bill.
And yet I'm the selfish one? Me? Just because I wanted one good thing in my life, something that makes me happy the way Mabel's arts and crafts does. Something that makes me more than just "Mabel's brother" or "that weird nerd." Is that so wrong?
Whatever. It's not like it's really worth getting mad over. It's just a careless comment made by the uninformed. I'll try not to come home so late, and there won't be a repeat experience. That's all there is to it.
But still, is that really how my parents see me? As selfish?
Well... I could always find out what they think of me. I could ask Bill if, for today's lesson, he could take me into their minds. I can find out that way, and I don't think Bill would object to letting me rummage as mess with somebody's mind.
"Well, aren't you lost in thought Pine Tree? You didn't even notice when the last bell rang. Thinking about yesterday's tiff with your mom? Really, you humans and your easily hurt feelings and strange societal constructs. Time is just an illusion created by human minds to quantify the world around them. You think any other species is so obsessed with the idea of time? Nope."
Might as well get straight to the point. "Bill, do you think you can take me into my parents' minds?"
"Ooh. So willing to destroy someone's sanity when they offend you? We have far more in common than I thought."
"No, I don't mean it like that; I just want to know what they really think of me. This is the best way to get an honest answer."
"Alright, it might not be as great as tormenting them, but it is a step in the right direction. We'll do it once they fall asleep. Take me to your place; it'll be easier if this body is inside, so it doesn't get killed or anything once I'm guiding you into the mindscape and thus no longer in there."
"I don't think my parents will let you stay; I'm supposed to be grounded."
"Don't worry about it, Pine Tree. I can be very convincing."
Bill wasn't wrong. When we got to my house, my parents surprisingly didn't get super mad and throw him out. Bill made up some sob story about how his mom had a stroke and that I stayed with him in the hospital until his mom was in a stable condition. I can't believe my parents actually bought it.
I don't think Bill even has parents in this form, which begs the question of how he was even allowed to register for school and get accepted so fast. Blackmail, maybe, or some other form of coercion. Possibly some threats of personal harm were involved.
So, once my parents were completely absorbed in the idea of poor Bill and his ill mother, he asked if he could stay the night since, in his story, his father died of cancer years ago and he had no one else to look after him with his mom in the hospital for observation. They ate that up, too, and now Bill was welcome to live at my house for the next few days. As soon as his "mother" got better.
He taught me some magic in my room until my parents went to sleep; it wasn't anything that required a large amount of power, since we were going to the mindscape later, but it was still immensely fun and helpful. It passed the time.
"Okay Pine Tree, you've been in the mindscape before, so you know how it works. I'll be with you the whole time, so I'll tell you if you're heading the wrong way. Maybe I'll show you how to mess around a bit with people's minds. It'll be fun."
That really wasn't the point, but I'm not going to turn down an opportunity to learn.
"We'll start with your dad. Okay, Pine Tree?"
I nodded.
The world faded to black and white. Tge rest of the world melted into nothingness, leaving only a twisted, warped version of our house.
"Now, Pine Tree, where do you suppose he keeps his memories of you?"
"At my room, I guess." My father was never creative and took things very literally.
"How lame."
We climbed up the stairs, or in Bill's case, floated up the stairs. I almost forgot about Bill's true form; it's rather nostalgic, now that I think about it.
"Wow, just look at the difference between the doors alone. Ha ha! Guess who the favorite twin is?"
He wasn't wrong. Mabel's door was white, covered in rainbows and sparkles. Mine was grey and bleak with a label scratched into the door.
"Sure you want to go through with it? The truth can be a painful thing."
I nodded once more. I don't want to be ignorant any more; if my father doesn't like me, I'd rather know so than carry on wondering whether he did so or not the rest of my life.
Inside the door lie all the moments I spent with my family. Unlike in Grunkle Stan's mind, they were all in black and white like a 1950s movie.
That boy is useless, a voice said from the nowhere.
What a failure of a son I raised.
Why couldn't he be more outgoing like his sister?
I never wanted a second child. We only planned on having the one.
Mabel is a much better child than Dipper. Much more normal without her head in the clouds. That boy is more trouble than he's worth.
Why couldn't he have never been born?
Not even my dad wanted me; no normal people wanted me around, unless it was to make fun of me or push me around, and even members of my family were no exception. Hell, the only friend I had was a demon I made a deal with who tried to murder my family and take over the world. Even then, Bill only sticks around because I made a deal with him.
I'm pathetic, aren't I? Maybe they're right about me...
"Now, now how superficial of him, don't know think? Then again, what more can you expect of your average meatsack? Don't worry, Pine Tree. I like you. I like all your little quirks. It's what makes you, you."
"You mean it?"
"But of course. I said it before: I like you, kid. Shall we move on to mommy dearest?"
The world blanked out before returning to the same monochrome home, only distorted in other places and in better condition. My sister and my doors were in the same locations, and were in similar conditions as in my father's mind. Mabel's door was far brighter and more beautiful than my own worn out and husk-like door. I breathed deeply. It was time to face the music, Dipper. Time to know the truth.
I wish my son was turned out better than this. Where did we go wrong? He wasn't supposed to be like this. He should have been like his sister: happy, laidback, and cheerful like a normal child. Instead, he's a paranoid, gloomy mess obsessed with chasing fairytales. Why did he come out this way? Why couldn't he be normal?
How did our son grow so selfish?
That word again. That phrase again. After seeing my father's mind, I didn't expect anything better from my mother, but still... It's one thing to say I'm introverted or... abnormal, even, but that's all true! But selfish!? When have I been selfish? Yeah, that one time I stayed out a little late just because I wanted to learn magic from Bill. But, no one got hurt. No one suffered because of it. No one was even mildly inconvenienced by it! Yet that makes me selfish!?
Why can't I be selfish once in awhile! Why can't I have this one good thing in my life!? Why do I have to sacrifice anything that even matters just to keep Mabel happy!? My time with Wendy, my job at the pool, my apprenticeship with Ford! And she never once thanked me!! Never! And when it all came down to it, when push came to shove, she replaced me! In that bubble, she made Dippy Fresh, a "more supportive" brother! As if I haven't supported her the best I could!! Even at the expense of my own happiness!! And yet, she never thanked me; she never even acknowledged what I've done for her! And yet, when I want one little thing, one little shred of happiness in this hell I call my life, I get denied! Because I made my sister worry. What about all the times she made me worry!? What about the time with Norman or during Weirdmageddon? What about that time in the bunker where Wendy and I almost died just because she wanted to play matchmaker? What about what she did with Robbie and Tamry?
But no, I'm the selfish one. Because I made her worry. Why do I have to be the one to be sacrificed for the sake of Mabel's happiness? On that note, why is Mabel's happiness placed higher than my own!? I deserve to be happy too, don't I!? I'm just as good as her, aren't I?
"Well, well, well. Can't say I'm surprised. I can't see I agree either. I'm sure you got somethings to think about. A whole life to re-examine like all you humans seem to do when big epiphanies come about. But first, while we're here, are you sure you don't want to learn a thing or two? How to warp the mind to your will? How to make important memories fade like they weren't even there? How to bring forth a pleasant dream on a whim? Or, my personal favorite...
"How to create nightmares?"
