Missy blinked open her eyes.
It was morning. Christmas morning. The storm had died down, leaving only a cold sunshine that trickled in through her half-open drapes.
It took her a second or two to realise where she was and why she was naked, tangled between white sheets, pressed against another warm body…
Her mascara-smudged eyes flickered upwards, coming to look upon the face of the person dozing softly beside her, strong arms wrapped around her shoulder and waist, holding her close to him.
Wade Wilson.
Here he was, lying still, the only movement from him was his chest slowly rising and falling beneath her.
It was then that Missy remembered last night…
It had been a whirlwind…
…bliss…
Wade's hands travelling over her every curve, his fingers tracing her skin. His lips had kissed what felt like every inch of her body…
Missy had wanted him as much as he had wanted her…
Time had slipped from their grasp, as she had arched her back, his hands on her thighs…her waist…
Bodies pressed against each other…growling and moaning into the others' ear.
Wade had been more than she could ever have wished for….giving her everything she had wanted and more…he had murmured words into her ear leaving her breathless and undone…
His fingers had danced patterns across her, his tongue tasting her, his hips grinding into hers…
She had pushed him down…rolling him onto his back…as he had stared up at her with darkened eyes full of lust and want and need…
He had kissed her hard, bringing his body up to hers as she moved against him…slowly at first then more yearning, as the seconds, no, the minutes, ticked by…
The growl of the thunderstorm raged overhead, but Missy had only been able to think of him, and of the stars that appeared in front of her eyes as he brought her to completeness.
Her hands had gripped his face…the back of his neck…her eyes locked with his…her whole body trembling….her breath hitching in her throat.
He had then given a groan, which had caused them both to topple over the edge.
They had collapsed onto the rumpled sheets, breathing hard, eyes fluttering closed…
They were both tired…exhausted, even…and Missy had done nothing to protest as Wade had pulled her close, her arms tangling around her gently.
And that had been all she could remember.
Missy gave another blink, staring at up at Wade's sleeping form. She had half expected him not to be there when she had woken…but here he was…
But as if feeling her awake presence staring up at him, Wade made a small noise and his eyelids opened.
Missy instantly blushed, but her gaze remained fixed with his.
It too, took a second for Wade to realise where he was…
Her heart pounded… Missy was nervous.
What if he regretted this…? What if he regretted everything? All this, maybe it would be too much for him. Too much pressure. Why would he want her? …Want them?
But to her relief, Wade gave a grin and let out a long contented sigh.
"Morning, Mama-Bear," he said shifting under her weight slightly. Beneath the sheets his hand found hers, and he gently entwined their fingers together.
Missy lay back, resting her head against a pillow, as Wade turned his body to face her.
His broad chest was still visible…taut and muscly…
Missy remembered how his shoulders had felt beneath her grasp. She gave a gulp.
"Hey…" she murmured, flicking a loose strand of hair from her eyes.
Her heart still beat fast in her chest, even now.
There was so much she wanted to say to him right now, but for some reason couldn't find the words.
She saw his eyes flicker down to her lips momentarily.
Her breath caught in her throat once again as he leaned in towards her…
"Mewwy Cwishtmash," came a sudden quiet voice from across the room, breaking them from their intentions, as well as the sound of the door creaking open and the pitter-patter of tiny feet.
Missy shook herself, her eyes widening slightly as she felt the sheets slip slightly, as a tiny body heaved themselves up onto the bed, as she did most mornings.
It was Missy and Emily's favourite thing to spend their weekends cuddled up under the covers, with Emily babbling to her hearts content, while Missy just smiled and took in how wonderful her daughter was.
Missy, pulling the sheet around her naked chest, sat up a little, as Wade did the same.
Emily had just about made it up and onto the bed, still in her fluffy white onesie, furry grey rabbit clutched in her sticky paw.
But it was then that she finally looked up and saw a figure in bed with her Mom…a figure who was definitely not usually there.
The smallest of frowns appeared across Emily's little face as she stopped in her tracks and looked up at Wade, confused.
Missy gave a blink, opening her mouth.
"Hey baby," said Missy in a kindly voice, trying to capture Emily's attention, titling her head to the side.
But Emily continued to just stare at Wade. The man she knew very well, but not here…not in her Mom's bed. He was usually in the living room, on their couch…or in their kitchen making them hot chocolate…but not here…
Missy looked on worriedly, glancing from Emily to Wade and back.
"Sweetie…" she tried gently.
It was then that, to her delight, Emily's face broke into a shy little smile.
"Waydee," she said, putting a finger into her mouth and giving a giggle.
The toddler then looked back at Missy, and gave another giggle.
Missy gave an inward sigh of relief, as Emily crawled up the bed towards Wade , climbed up onto his bare chest and poking his cheek with her sticky paw, her bunny still clutched in the other hand.
She giggled again, as Wade grinned back, staring at the tiny girl before him, in awe.
Missy bit her lip and couldn't help but smile too.
"You want cuddles, sweetie?" Missy asked reaching over and stroking Emily's cheek gently, as the little girl looked at her.
She gave a tiny nod.
"Wan' cwuddles," said the toddler in quiet, broken English. "Wif Waydee too pleash."
Missy gave a laugh of surprise, as Emily turned back to a, now beaming, Wade.
The merc looked completely happy, as if for him, this here and now, was perfection.
Not even saying a word, he grabbed Emily around the middle, causing her to squeal in delight. The little girl cuddled herself closer to his bare chest, giving another giggle.
Missy saw him look over at her for a second, before Emily pushed herself from his grasp, beginning to wriggle.
"You want a cuddle from your Mommy?" he asked the toddler, who dropped her bunny and gave a nod, her fingers going back into her mouth shyly as he spoke to her.
With that, Wade lifted her out away from him, before mock-tossing her over to her Mom, as gently as possible.
Emily gave another loud squeal of delight, landing in Missy's lap with a soft 'whump'.
"Hey baby," repeated Missy giving her a smile as Emily's sticky hands reached up for Missy's loose caramel hair.
"Hai Mommy," said Emily giving another giggle and looking between Missy and Wade and back again. She bounced up and down on Missy's lap looking ecstatic. Before giving yet another squeal of happiness and moving up the bed, squeezing in-between the pair.
"Mewwy Cwishtmash!" repeated the tiny girl, wriggling down beneath the covers. "Mewwy cwishtmash, Mewwy cwishtmash ."
Missy laughed as Emily suddenly launched herself at her, wanting to play.
Emily was rarely ever like this, and never was this excitable and happy when other people were around.
Missy looked on as Wade grasped Emily from behind lifting her upside down.
The little girl gave a cry of laughter, which Missy had barely heard in the two years of Emily's life, as Wade tickled her sides.
The pair of them play-fought for a few moments as Missy watched them.
This is just what she had always dreamed of…spending mornings cuddled up in bed with the sound of happiness and laughter ringing out…
She looked up at Wade, as he pressed raspberries to Emily's little cheeks, causing her to shriek with laughter, and wriggle away from him before yelling ''gain, 'gian, Waydee!'.
She truly felt happier than she had in a long time…
But a horrible feeling bubbled up inside her…this wouldn't last….
What if she did this…her and Wade…and he became a part of their lives, just like-
Missy gave a gulp, hurting….
Was there even a point in bringing Wade into Emily's life if he was just going to leave…like everyone always did…
She gave a blink…
What if she got tangled up in a relationship only to see herself hurt…and more importantly, Emily hurt…
She couldn't do that….not again….
But perhaps Wade was different?
She wanted to believe that, she really did, more than she could say….but horrible memories of the past, reared their ugly head once more.
She had tried for the past year and a half to move on, to forget all the pain and the loneliness and the hurting…
Missy bit her lip, and let out a long steadying breath, but she could feel herself shaking…frightened…scared…
She hadn't let anyone into her life…..their life, like this in a very long time….and all this. It was too much for her…
Suddenly Missy got out of bed and onto her feet, grabbing her robe and slipping it over her bare shoulders.
She turned back to the pair as Wade stopped his play-fighting with Emily and looked up at her…
But seeing the look of worry and concern etched onto her features, his warm smile faltered slightly.
"Everything alright?" he asked, as Emily sat up on her little legs, pushing her fluffy bunny into his hands.
But Missy's eyes fell immediately to the floor.
"I…uh…. I probably think you should….you should go…" she said, her voice braking slightly as she said the words.
What was she doing? She was pushing away this amazing guy all because she was scared?
But Missy stood firm. She was doing this because this was just how the world worked…she had been hurt once before…they both had. And she couldn't help but just be terrified of what would happen if she fell for Wade anymore….but perhaps it was already too late….
Wade gave a frown, gently setting the bunny down beside him, and staring up at Missy.
"Have I….." he paused, his eyes searching her face. "….if I've done something-"
But Missy could feel her lip trembling.
"No….I just…." she began, but the words were braking her heart in two.
Missy kept her eyes low, hearing Wade reach for his jeans, tugging them on and get to his feet.
From the bed, Emily stared over them both with wide eyes, sensing the tension in the room.
"…I just…" Missy continued, finally raising her eyes just enough to look at him. But as his cholate eyes met hers, she felt a tear slip down her cheek. She clutched at her robe-tie, knowing what she was about to do would break her heart. "…I can't do this….I'm sorry….I think you should go."
Wade's face was instantly once of confusion. He merely stared at her sadly, giving the slightest shake of his head, his eyes searching her distressed features. But he didn't question her. Not even once.
Emily gabbled at the pair of them from the bed, but Missy merely pursed her lips, wiping at her wet eyes and moved back over to the bed.
Behind her, Wade merely stood there for a second or two, before grasping up his shirt and boots from the bedroom floor.
"Waydee?" asked Emily suddenly, her little mouth falling open as she watched him go, as if confused as to why he had been playing with her a minute ago and yet leaving the next.
Missy felt more tears slip down her cheeks, but she was turned away from Wade, unable to look at him. Her heart ripping in two…
All this was killing her…pushing Wade out of her life before he got too close to them….she should have done it sooner, before it had gotten this far.
But how she felt about him…how he made her feel…..she really did lo-
Missy winced at her own thoughts.
This wasn't the way it was all supposed to be…
"Mewwy cwishmash?" said Emily suddenly, looking up at Wade and crawling down the bed towards him.
Missy heard Wade pause, before leaning over and kissing the top of Emily's little head.
"Merry Christmas, Em-Bear," he uttered, his voice very quiet, and the opposite of his usual confident tone. He paused slightly, standing mere inches away from Missy..
Part of her wished he would reach out…tell her she was being an idiot…argue with her about it….but he didn't. He didn't say anything.
And with that, Missy heard him leave, heading out of the bedroom….and only a few seconds later she heard the front door open and close….
Wade was gone.
Missy clutched at her mouth, giving a uncontrollable sob.
What had she done?
Out of the corner of her eye she felt Emily look over at her, and within a moment Missy suddenly felt two little arms wrap themselves around her neck.
There were no need for words where Emily and Missy were involved, and Missy merely pulled her beautiful little daughter towards her, holding her close as she gave another quiet sob.
All this….it was for her…
…for Emily…
...because who could protect her, if it wasn't her Mom?
Missy buried her face in her daughters hair…
This was her only choice.
It could only be the two of them.
No one would want them….not really. And Missy needed to see that.
She would always be alone, she needed to face up to the fact one and for all.
….but that still didn't stop her heart from tearing into pieces…
Sorry, that was a sad one…. :(
Thanks so much to all who reviewed the last chapter, seems like you all enjoyed Missy and Wade getting it on ;) . Thanks to: Just2aw3s0me, jeffhardyluvsme, mstef, Sesflynn, Momochan77, Legolas Girl 31, dancindonna, RomansBride, Mia, jonstar1034, petiteyoyo, Raging Raven, Nipps04, Smaug the Golden and Dancindonna (again :) )
Please let me know what you thought about this one… Don't hate me! *hides face*
Please review!
