Chapter Nineteen
Elizabeth stood in the kitchen with the cabinet open staring at the five different blends of tea up on the shelf. She had been trying to chose between the options for several minutes. There wasn't any significant difference between the teas but she still couldn't seem to take action on choosing one of them. The tea was really just a symptom of a greater difficulty that she was having with both decision making and her concentration, both of which had suffered greatly lately under the constant stress of Peter and Neal's sudden disappearance. Giving up on the task all together Elizabeth turned her attention to the single brand of coffee for the sheer simplicity of it.
Taking the coffee over to the machine she found a small amount of comfort in the familiar task that she could perform without any real thought now that she had initiated it. With the coffee running she looked around, lost again as to the next step since she wasn't hungry but knew she had to try to prepare something. It felt surreal to be attempting a morning routine as if everything was normal when it was as far from normal as her life had ever strayed. She had been told by the FBI psychologist that Hughes had sent to visit her that establishing a routine during this time was an important part of coping with the stress. In reality it was making her feel guilty for trifling with unimportant things like coffee when Peter might be fighting for his life right at this very moment.
Taking a deep breath Elizabeth worked to focus on her task. As much as her mind wanted to wandet to the possibilities of Peter and Neal's fate she knew it wasn't helpful, not for them and not for her. Walking back over to one of the cabinets she took down two coffee mugs. Mozzie was currently taking a shower upstairs and although he wasn't much of a coffee drinker she knew he would take a cup to be polite. He had been working just as tireless as the FBI to try and find a lead on his missing friends, unfortunately with just as little success. He had for all intensive purposes moved in from the start, sleeping on her couch without either one of them having actually talked about the arrangement, it had seemed like just a matter of course to them both that he would stay with her until Peter and Neal were home.
Even as the hours had turned into days Mozzie's faith in them being found safe and sound had never wavered. It was an attitude Elizabeth very much appreciated because even though no one at the FBI said anything to the effect she could see in their eyes that they knew her husband's chances at being found had slipped down below ten percent after the one week mark had come and gone. They were trying to stay positive, but experience was telling them that the worst had already happened. The FBI was still actively devoting a heavy amount of resources to finding their missing Agent and his CI, but without any new evidence there was only so much they could do and eventually they would have to shift their focus to more pressing issues. The FBI couldn't grind to a halt every time they lost an Agent.
Distracted from the moment once again by dark thoughts one of the coffee mugs slipped from her grasp and dashed against the tile floor in a spray of broken ceramic. Looking down at the ruined cup Elizabeth's eyes instantly brightened with tears. Not wanting to be set off emotionally by such a simple set back Elizabeth brought her hand up over her mouth and fought to keep her composure. Satchmo stepped tentatively into the kitchen to investigate the noise.
"Satchmo, no!" Elizabeth said more firmly than she had intended.
Looking chastised Satchmo lowered his head and backed out of the kitchen. Having picked up on Elizabeth's distress since she'd first come home Satchmo had been searching the house constantly for Peter in hopes that he could somehow make it right and whining occupationally at his failure to find his missing pack leader. Elizabeth had only been concerned that he might cut his paw she hadn't meant to make the dog think he'd done something wrong.
Already on the edge of tears having Satchmo slink away with his tail between his legs was more than she could take. Leaning back slightly against the counter top for support Elizabeth broke down into earnest tears. Coming downstairs Mozzie was quickly on the scene. He didn't say anything about the broken mug, he just stepped around it and guided Elizabeth out of the kitchen and into the living room. Encouraging her to sit down on the couch he offered her the box of tissues that was on the coffee table before sitting down next to her.
"Thank you."
"Any time."
"I'm sorry." Elizabeth whispered.
"It's okay." Mozzie said sympathetically.
"I need to handle this better." Elizabeth said drying her tears. "Peter wouldn't want me to cry."
"No, but he'd understand."
Elizabeth smiled and nodded in agreement. Seeking forgiveness Satchmo stepped over tentatively and placed his head gently in her lap. Elizabeth reached down and pet between the Labrador's soft ears causing him to wag the tip of his tail happily. She appreciated having the loyal dog with her and had even been letting him up on the bed at night so that she didn't have to sleep alone. She had often teased Peter of being a bit of a bed hog and invading her side of the bed, but in truth she had never minded him wanting to sleep to her.
"Good boy." Elizabeth praised.
Satchmo wagged harder in response.
"There is nothing quite as unconditional as a dog's love." Mozzie smiled warmly.
"I haven't taken him for a walk since this all started."
"A walk might be good for you both."
Elizabeth nodded. She hadn't been out of the house much in the past few days. She knew she was only underfoot at the FBI and Yvonne was handling the event business for the time being. She wanted to do something to try and help find Peter and Neal but she wasn't sure where to even start. As much as she wanted to go along with Mozzie she didn't exactly blend into the criminal underground that he had been sniffing around. The feeling of being useless in the hunt was becoming increasingly frustrating as time passed.
"Elizabeth, you know I'll share anything I find with you, right?" Mozzie asked reading her sudden silence perfectly.
"Thank you. Hughes knows that he shouldn't but he's been sharing the case details with me as well…I think mostly because he knows I'll tell you."
"Someone knows where Peter and Neal are and we are going to find that person. Speaking of which I have a meeting with someone this morning who might now where The Lizard is. I want to talk to him, he disappeared just before Neal did. I don't know if there is anything there, but I have to try."
"Thank you." Elizabeth leaned over and gave Mozzie a hug. "Thank you for everything."
"Of course."
"I just wish there was something more I could do to help."
"Sometimes the best thing you can do in stormy seas is just drop your sail and weather the storm, trusting that the sun will come back out."
Elizabeth smiled and gave Mozzie another hug. She offered to make him something for breakfast and he graciously accepted. After breakfast Mozzie left to meet up with his source that Elizabeth had the feel that Mozzie was either going to have to pay outright or at the very least owe them a serious favor in the future. Mozzie left, promising to be back later that night and encouraging Elizabeth to talk Satchmo to the park.
After taking a shower and getting dressed Elizabeth headed back downstairs to take Satchmo out. For the first three days that Peter had been missing Hughes had posted an Agent outside her home, but she had eventually been able to convince him that no one was coming for her and the man power was better used elsewhere. Before Elizabeth could pick up the leash there was a soft almost polite sounding knock at the door.
Tensing up Elizabeth shook off the brief flash of adrenaline that came from the unexpected intrusion. Satchmo headed for the door and barked once but nothing out of the ordinary. Elizabeth reached up behind one of the picture frames that was up on the entertainment unit and pulled down a small canister of highly potent pepper spray. Holding the weapon behind her back in case it was more than just an innocent visit Elizabeth headed to the front door.
A quick glance out the window showed her a man a few years older than Peter wearing a business suit standing on her front step. She didn't recognize him and she doubted that he was an Agent as Hughes would have called before sending anyone over. The man turned and spotted her through the window. He smiled at her the way a salesman would with a slight bow of his head. Feeling that if the man meant her harm that he wouldn't be standing on her door step in broad daylight Elizabeth went to open the door, although she did keep the pepper spray in hand.
"Hello?" Elizabeth greeted warily.
"Mrs. Burke, good morning, I am so sorry to bother you." York apologized. "My name is Charles Walker."
"How can I help you?" Elizabeth asked in a tone that suggested she didn't accept his apology.
"I'm actually hoping to help you. I recently learned about Agent Burke and his CI, and, well this is a little unorthodox for me to be here," York rambled, a little flustered by the awkwardness after the icy reception "but I am the founder of Light for the Lost, we are a non-profit organization that assists families that have been touch by the tragedy of a loved one going missing. We offer additional support and assistance finding missing persons particularly once their cases have gone cold as well as…"
"My husband's case isn't cold." Elizabeth interrupted.
"I know. Like I said it is a little unorthodox for me to approach someone about a missing loved one rather than the other way around. However I heard about Agent Burke's disappearance through a friend at the Bureau and…"
"Who?"
"I'd rather not get the Agent in trouble, he really shouldn't have told me."
"No." Elizabeth said coldly. "He shouldn't have."
"He meant well, and so do I."
"The FBI will find my husband."
"Being an Agent I know the FBI will place more effort into his case than your average run away teen," York agreed with a nod "however assistance on finding him isn't why I came here today."
"Then why are you here, Mr. Walker?"
"I want to help you. This is a terrible time for anyone and having people who have been there to talk to can help ease the pain. I wanted to personally invite you to one of our support groups, Mrs. Burke."
"I have support."
"Your friends and family mean well but they can only give you sympathy."
"Mr. Walk…"
"What you need right now is true empathy." York said seriously.
"Mr. Walker…"
"Please, call me Charles." York interrupted with a smile.
"Mr. Walker," Elizabeth still insisted "I appreciate you coming to see me, but I prefer to work directly with the FBI."
"Of course, I understand. However, please, at least take my card." York reached into his breast pocket and pulled out a plain white business card. "Our website has all the details on the meetings, you don't have to sign up, just come."
"Thank you." Elizabeth said in defeat as she took the card.
"You're welcome. If there is ever anything Light for the Lost can do for you, please, don't hesitate to call."
"Thank you." Elizabeth repeated more genuinely.
"Have a good day, Mrs. Burke. I hope they find your husband and his friend soon."
"They will."
