NOTE: Sorry for the wait. Hugs to you all!

Chapter Thirty-four

"Focus, Elizabeth, you can do this."

Growling at herself did very little to help Elizabeth with the task at hand. When she found yet another error on the simple Excel spreadsheet she was trying to work on she ground her teeth as her temper flared. internally berating herself for the honest mistake Elizabeth became more determined to get this right. Unable to return to work planing celebrations for others Elizabeth was attempting to help Yvonne out by taking care of the cost estimates and invoicing. Back when her business had just been starting Elizabeth had done all of the financial side herself, and even though it had been years since she had done more than just look over and approve this type of work she knew she was more than capable of it.

Sitting at her kitchen table with a lap top and a sea of paperwork Elizabeth tried to distract herself from her loss with the numbers. An hour later she glanced up from the screen when she started to feel some eye strain only to find herself looking at the photo that used to sit on Peter's desk. Hughes had come over two nights ago to deliver it to her personally. At first the somber look of a guilty sorrow on his face had Elizabeth fearful that they had found Peter's body. When he had produced the photo she had relaxed slightly knowing that if he had proof of his Agent's death that he would have come bearing an American flag for the widow not a memento off his desk.

"I thought you would want this." Hughes said in a near apologetic tone. "The rest of his personal effects are technically in evidence, but I felt there was no harm in bringing this to you rather than letting it sit in a closet."

"Thank you, Reese, but…"

"Peter's case is still a top priority." Hughes reassured. "You know I won't rest until I find him."

"Thank you."

"Elizabeth, I'm sor…"

"Please don't apologize." Elizabeth interrupted. "This isn't your fault."

"I know, I just don't know what else to say."

"That's because there is nothing you can say, but I appreciate everything you've done."

"Of course." Hughes smiled warmly but he still looked uncomfortable.

"I'm not ready to active Peter's benefits if that's what that worried look is about."

"It is." Hughes confessed. "Life in New York isn't cheap."

"I'm fine, honestly. If I get in trouble I will come to you about it, I promise."

"Okay."

Elizabeth had been grateful that Hughes hadn't pushed the matter. She hadn't exactly been lying, she was keeping her head above water for now. However a few more mortgage payments and she was going to have to either ask for help or sell the house. Elizabeth had it in the back of her mind that if Peter wasn't home by the time she couldn't afford the house that she wouldn't even want it any more anyway. There were too many memories in the house that she didn't feel she could face on a daily basis if Peter never came back.

Taking her gaze off the photo of herself and Peter smiling in the silver frame that was now up on the island in the kitchen Elizabeth flipped through a few pages on the table without reading them. With her thoughts continuing to drift back to that night she felt a tinge of guilt. She had been so distressed to have Hughes suddenly on her doorstep that even after he hadn't had bad news she still neglected to invite him inside. He was still standing on her front step when Mozzie had arrived. She had suddenly thought to let them both in but Hughes had asked if he could have a private word with Mozzie. Mozzie had instantly been suspicious, but he allowed it.

Pretending to leave the men to talk Elizabeth had retreated inside and gone straight to her laptop. After Keller had kidnapped her Peter had installed a fairly sophisticated security system on the house that included both video and audio surveillance outside. Pulling up the program Elizabeth had spied on the conversation.

"Is this about Anthony?" Mozzie asked hopefully. "Did you get something out of him?"

"No, and from the looks of things I'm not going to."

"He's our only lead. What if…"

"Before we got any further I need you to take this." Hughes reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet to fish out a dollar bill which he offered to Mozzie.

"This…uh…this isn't what I think it is, is it?" Mozzie asked hesitantly not taking the money.

"I can't let you any closer to this case if you're not officially on the FBI payroll as a CI."

"Payrolls involve things like social security numbers…and taxes."

"Do you want Caffrey back or not?" Hughes growled.

"I want them both back." Mozzie said defensively. "…don't tell the Suit I said that."

"Well if you want to help this is what has to happen."

"I do have a Rain Day Alias that is nearly bullet proof that I could burn." Mozzie admitted. "Would that do?"

"I'll make it work."

"Fine." Mozzie took the dollar bill. "Call me Ishmael."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously. Ishmale Harrington."

"Whatever, just fill out all the appropriate forms and I'll make sure no one looks too closely at them." Hughes sighed. "Tomorrow come down to the Federal Building and I'll introduce you to Agent Walsh."

"Wait, what, who? Have they taken you off this case?"

"I'm still in the loop."

"You know that only people who are out of the loop are told that they are in the loop, right?" Mozzie pointed out. "Does Elizabeth know about this?"

"No, and I'd rather she didn't. Agent Walsh is the new lead, but that doesn't mean I'm off this case. I need you to work with Walsh to find the case that Caffrey brought Anthony in on. That case is our best lead since I get the feeling we are never going to get anything out of Anthony himself."

"He's far more afraid of whoever beat him senseless than he is of the FBI, but you're right whoever did attack him seems to have done so because of a case that he helped Neal out with and Anthony already basically told me that that same person is probably responsible for his and Peter's kidnapping."

"I assume that Neal wouldn't have done something smart like put Anthony's name in his report?"

"Ah, that would be a 'no'. His arrangement with Anthony was…well let's just say it's a gray area."

"I honestly don't care, I just need to know who actually got arrested so we can see if we can find any connection."

"Neal doesn't like to outright lie to Peter, there should be something in his report that reflects some kind of half truth about helping Anthony out that I should be able to find."

"Good. Find it."

Elizabeth hadn't blamed Hughes for not wanting to her to know that the FBI was floundering on the case and that it had been taken away from him. Closing the computer before Mozzie came inside she busied herself in the kitchen. Mozzie walked up to the island and stared at the picture of her and Peter. It took Elizabeth a moment to collect herself and turn to look at Mozzie. Unsure of what to say they ended up with an uncomfortable silence.

"I take it you heard all that?" Mozzie asked knowingly.

"What?" Elizabeth said trying to sound innocent.

"Elizabeth, I know about the security system. I installed it."

"You did?" Elizabeth asked surprised.

"Peter made me promise that I wouldn't tell you, you know how much he hates getting my help, but I figured it was the least I could do."

"Thank you. And thank Ishmael for me."

"He says he's honored to help."

As much as Elizabeth did appreciate Mozzie working so closely with the FBI to find Peter and Neal she knew it meant that both parties were desperate. Back in the present time Elizabeth realized she'd leafed through twenty pages of the wrong account. Losing her temper at not being able to do the simple task Elizabeth violently swiped the papers off the table sending them fluttering to the floor like birds with broken wings. Snarling at herself in frustration Elizabeth pushed herself away from the table. Satchmo, who was never more than a few feet away from her at all times these days, got to his feet and came over to put his head in her lap. Smiling down at the dog despite the tears in her eyes Elizabeth gratefully pet the top of his head.

"You're a good boy, Satchmo." Elizabeth praised.

Satchmo wagged the tip of his tail hesitantly sensing that something wasn't right despite Elizabeth's kind words. Getting to her feet Elizabeth paced around for a moment as she tried to figure out what to do with herself. With trying to work just adding to her frustration she knew she needed a break from it. It was near dinner time, but Mozzie had already called to say he was staying late with Agent Walsh and she really didn't feel like cooking for just herself. Feeling trapped she decided that taking Satchmo for a walk was the best thing right now despite the fact that it would be the sixth time that day that she had taken him out.

Walking over to the small table by the front door Elizabeth went to pick up her keys when she noticed the business card that Charles Walker from Light for the Lost had left with her. She really hadn't given the visit a second thought after Hughes had looked into the organization for her and found nothing out of the ordinary. Suddenly feeling more alone than she had since this had all started Elizabeth stared at the card. There was one thing he had said to her that was resonating in her mind now.

'Your friends can only give you sympathy...what you need is empathy.'

Elizabeth wasn't even letting her friends offer he any sympathy these days. Other than Mozzie and the occasional visit from Hughes she had pushed everyone else away. Even when Hughes had tried to apologize she had stopped him, not because she didn't think he meant it but because it infuriated her to hear it. There was nothing about 'I'm sorry' that made her feel any better or any less alone.

Grabbing the car keys instead of Satchmo's leash Elizabeth stepped out of the house and headed towards the address embossed on the card. The meeting hall for Light for the Lost looked like an old converted church that had a small parking lot that was nearly full. Elizabeth found a space and sat in her car for nearly and hour undecided about going inside. When she finally got out and went up the wide set of stairs to the ornate wood double doors she jerked back in surprise when they suddenly opened. Elizabeth stepped to the side as a group of people stepped out all chatting with one another.

Several of the people leaving glanced in her direction and looked like they wanted to greet her but when she visibly shied away they all knew to give her her space. When they were gone Elizabeth decided that the most recent support group must be over and that she should just go home was well. Turning away from the building Elizabeth was at the bottom of the small set of wide stairs when she heard the door open again.

"Elizabeth, wait," a female voice called "please don't leave."

Hearing her name being used by a stranger flashed ice into Elizabeth's veins. Turing around she must have automatically put on a defensive pose because the slender dark skinned woman at the top of the stairs raised her hands up slightly in surrender. Unsure of what her next move should be Elizabeth found herself frozen at the foot of the stairs looking up at the woman outlined by the warm light coming from inside the building.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."

"How do you know my name?"

"Charles told me what he did, going to your house." She explained revealing a slight Southern twang. "I was absolutely livid at him, but he thought he was doing the right thing. You know men, they always want to fix problems even when those problems are not theirs to be fixing."

"Who are you?"

"I'm Asha, I'm the support group coordinator and meeting leader for Light for the Lost." Asha introduced herself. "The group just left, but please, come inside. I would love to talk with you. I know how difficult this first step is."

Elizabeth remained undecided, she was starting to wonder what had made her drive out here in the first place. As much as she felt alone she wasn't sure she was ready to become part of a whole new 'community' that was united solely by a common pain. Elizabeth wasn't used to asking for help from anyone other than Peter and now that she was here she couldn't help but feel that it was a betrayal, an admission that he wasn't coming back and that she needed to seek out new connections. Reading Elizabeth's every thought easily Asha smiled sadly and held her hand out in a silent offer for Elizabeth to step closer.

"I…shouldn't have come, I'm sorry…"

"Elizabeth, there is no shame in being here."

"I..."

"The people who disappear aren't the only ones who are lost…those of us left behind need help finding our way as well."