Chapter Forty-two
"I'm sorry, it's getting late, I should probably go home."
"Nonsense, Elizabeth, it's barely nine."
Knowing that she wasn't going to talk Elizabeth in coming up to the top of the stairs Asha came down and joined her at the bottom. Asha held her hand out for Elizabeth to shake with a warm open expression. Still feeling uncomfortable but not wanting to be rude Elizabeth accepted the offer. Asha's face lit up like she had just gotten a shy horse to finally take an apple from her hand.
"It's good to officially meet you, Elizabeth." Asha said. "I hate to admit it, but I have heard a little about you. I chastised Charles good for approaching you. He has been known to reach out to families now and then, but your situation is…a little different."
"He shouldn't even know about my husband." Elizabeth said with a colder edge to her voice than she had intended.
"I know." Asha agreed. "However he has a lot of connections and word does get around with such a high profile case. Nearly a million people go missing every year, but our community is still a fairly small and tightly knit one."
"It was still jarring to have him on my door step."
"I can't imagine. Although the real people that reach out to you from 'nowhere' that you have to be on guard for are the so called psychics. They are predators that love to bleed desperate family members dry."
"If any psychics show up I'll be sure to report them to the FBI." Elizabeth assured.
"Did you report Charles?" Asha asked with an amused grin.
"I did."
"Good." Asha winked. "Hopefully they sent an Agent around to shake some manors into him, maybe even a little respect for proper protocol. I swear that man does get on my last nerve every so often. Don't get me wrong, I am grateful for everything he's done for me and the organization, but rich white guys can be more than a little entitled at times if you know what I mean and Charles is in no way an exception."
Elizabeth wasn't exactly sure how to respond however considering that a majority of the men that Peter arrested fit that description she did understand. As off put as Elizabeth had been by Charles she had to admit that she did find Asha's irritation with his actions comforting. Asha had an open honest air about her that gave Elizabeth the feeling that she was the kind of person who said exactly what was on their mind.
"I was about to head out to dinner, join me?" Asha asked hopefully.
"I…"
"Come on." Asha interrupted brightly. "There's a great little Italian place near by."
"Oh…I…uh…" Elizabeth hesitated with an uncomfortable flush to her cheeks as her heart suddenly raced painfully.
"I know that look," Asha smiled sadly "Italian means something to you and your husband, doesn't it?"
"First date." Elizabeth admitted quietly.
"I'm so sorry." Asha apologized.
"It's okay, you couldn't know."
"No, but I do understand. How about Thai?"
"Maybe I should just come back tomorrow."
"I think we both know that you won't." Asha said knowingly.
Elizabeth sighed in defeat knowing that Asha was right. Seeing that Elizabeth's defenses were weakening Asha took a step back with a bright smile and motioned for Elizabeth to join her. Elizabeth got the distinct impression from Asha's confidence that this wasn't the first time Asha had dealt with a hesitant client and that she was used to winning people over to her side. Not really wanting to go home and be alone Elizabeth was strongly considering accepting her offer even if she still wasn't sure if the woman could be trusted.
"I don't think you'll happy jumping right into a support group anyway," Asha pointed out when Elizabeth didn't make a move one way or the other "however, I know for a fact that some company tonight would do you good."
"I can't argue that." Elizabeth finally conceded.
"Wonderful." Asha's dark eyes lit up with what appeared to be genuine excitement. "This place has the best Rad Na in town. We'll make Charles pick up the tab for his little indiscretion."
"That's really not necessary."
"I know," Asha winked "that's what makes it fun. Let's go."
Asha turned towards their destination with her tightly curled hair bouncing with just as much energy as its owner. Finding her heart a little lighter from the woman's exuberance a smiled touched the corner of Elizabeth's lips as she had to walk at a fairly fast clip to catch up. Asha turned to look at her new companion once she had caught up with her bright smile shining against her dark face.
On the way to the restaurant Asha explained a little about the foundation's history. Elizabeth was surprised to learn that Charles Walker hadn't started the origination but rather had taken it under his wing ten years ago when it had been floundering financially after the sudden death of the original founder. Elizabeth's first instinct was that he had acquired it as a tax shelter or even straight out money laundering, but she knew that negative reflex was Peter's influence. His time with White Collar had made him highly suspect of the altruism of any one person shouldering the responsibility of a charitable organization.
Walker's motivations became a little clearer when Asha told Elizabeth that he had lost his brother at a young age after he had failed to return home from school one day. Once again Elizabeth had to restrain the thought that such a story was easily fabricated by anyone with even a mild amount of skill with forging identities as she decided that particular thought was mostly due to Neal's influence this time. Unable to get thoughts about how both the missing men would react to the situation Elizabeth became distracted to the point that she didn't even notice that Asha had stopped talking.
Accepting that her audience was lost in thought Asha had stopped her story, apparently without any malice to what would usually be considered rudeness on Elizabeth's behalf. Asha appeared comfortable with the silence that had fallen over them, but unsure of exactly how long that silence had lasted with her noticing Elizabeth found herself embarrassed.
"I'm sorry." Elizabeth apologized.
"It's okay, I know how hard it can be to focus when you're under this kind of stress." Asha assured. "I have to admit that it never really gets any better, but the good news is that over time you do learn to hide it better."
Arriving at the restaurant the pair were quickly seated in a somewhat secluded booth table in the back. Asha asked Elizabeth if she was a vegetarian and when she said no the waitress just nodded and headed back into the kitchen showing that Asha brought people here regularly enough that they had her order on stand-by. Elizabeth didn't mind Asha ordering for her, she'd never had anything at a Thai restaurant that she didn't like so it didn't really matter what they brought out.
"I lost my son eight years ago, he was fifteen years old." Asha said suddenly with a heavy tone that contrasted with the easy going personality she'd shown so far. She was a we wearing a light cardigan that she pulled the sleeve up on showing old heroine track marks. "I was a terrible mother, Dace never even knew who his father was because I didn't even know. I was only seventeen when I got pregnant. I was so stupid, and I didn't smarten up until it was too late. I can't blame him for running away, assuming that's even what happened to him. Light for the Lost helped me clean up, gave me a job along with a purpose."
Asha paused her story for a moment as the waitress came back with two glasses of water for the table. Looking up at the waitress Asha flashed her a practiced smile that did little to hide the pain in her eyes. The waitress looked to Elizabeth with a moment of sympathy before she offered her a nod and left.
"Kanya, the waitress, know why you're here." Asha explained. "I hope you don't mind that you're not the first person I've lured here."
"I already suspected." Elizabeth said gently.
"It's never easy to come to Light for the first time, I know that reaching out feels like giving up in a way. Nothing could be further from the truth though. We have a lot to offer. Although I have to admit that your case is a little special and that a lot of what we do for other people you won't be able to take advantage of."
"What do you mean?"
"A major part of finding someone is getting word out there that they are missing in the first place. Publicity is a huge factor, which hard to get on your own. The media is only interested in very specific cases."
"No, no I can't let the media get a hold of this." Elizabeth said in alarm.
"Exactly, but for most people it's the opposite. They want as much exposure as they can get. Dace's disappearance barely got any attention from the police and the only time he ever appeared in the newspaper was when Light helped me by purchasing advertisements." Asha sighed. "Being a black male nearing the age of 18 and the son of junkie no one really cared to even try to look for him."
"That's terrible." Elizabeth said in horror.
"I used to be bitter about it, but with violent crime taking up resources I can understand no one having time for a kid that's nearly a man striking out on his own to get away from a terrible living situation. Not to say that there aren't racial and even gender discrepancies when it comes to what cases get attention because there is." Asha said in a tone that hinted that she held on to more bitterness than she wanted to admit to. "At any one time there is up to 100,000 open missing person cases and there just isn't the public man power to deal with the problem. It's actually one of the major ways Light for the Lost is really a huge help. Skiptracers are expensive and Charles has hired dozens of them for me and the others over the years."
"Skiptracers?"
"Professionals who find people. They are mostly used by collection agencies looking for debtors, but in cases of runaways often times they can produce good results. If nothing else it helps you feel like you're doing something."
"I wish I could do something…anything."
"You can't even hire someone privately, can you?"
"No." Elizabeth shook her head. "I shouldn't even be talking about this with you."
"That's a very lonely way to go through this." Asha reached out to put her hand over Elizabeth's but Elizabeth pulled away.
"The FBI has offered me counseling."
"That's not the same as being around people who have been where you are, and being able to talk to them."
"I don't want to do anything that could in anyway compromise the investigation."
"At least there is an investigation." Asha said trying to find the bright side. "I can't imagine that the FBI is going to rest with one of their own missing."
"Thirty-six days." Elizabeth whispered in misery. "They won't close the case until they have answers…but it's getting colder every day that goes by without any trace of them."
"Them?" Asha asked surprised.
"My husband and his CI were both taken." Elizabeth replied without thinking.
"Charles didn't give me that detail. Hey, we should set a skiptracer on his CI, he's not technically part of the FBI. I mean it's a bit of a loop hole inside of a gray area for sure but I'm sure I could talk Charles into it."
"No, please." Elizabeth begged.
"Elizabeth, I'm not going to do anything you don't want me to. I promise."
"Thank you."
"Although I do feel I should ask…how much do you trust this other guy? I mean he is a criminal…"
"I trust Neal with Peter's life, and so does Peter."
"Then that's a good reason to have hope." Asha smiled warmly. "When it comes to making it through hard times two is always better than one."
"Is that a not so subtle suggestion that I'd be better off with you than on my own?"
"It is." Asha admitted shamelessly.
"I'm sorry, no matter how good your intentions are you can't help my husband's case." Elizabeth said as tears stung her eyes. "You can't help bring him back."
"I knew that from the very beginning."
"Then why are we here?"
"Because this isn't about Peter or Neal, this is about you." Asha said gently. "One of the hardest parts about having someone taken from you is accepting that it's not always about them, you're still important too."
"Asha…"
"Elizabeth, you deserve to be happy again. If I can just help you to believe that the rest will take care of itself. Trust me."
"What if I can't?"
"Believe or trust me?"
"Either, both...mostly the trust part." Elizabeth admitted.
"Hmmm, I have to admit this is a new issue for me. Usually it's the believing part. I'm not sure how to help with the trust part since I'm not used to being distrusted. I suppose you could ask yourself what would I gain from tricking you?"
"Inside information into the investigation of a missing Federal Agent."
"Wow, you had that answer quickly."
"I know it sounds paranoid and crazy."
"No, no...well maybe a little." Asha smiled. "I can understand your suspicions, Charles did come to with information he really shouldn't have which must have shaken some of your confidence in the FBI since someone there must have leaked it."
"Actually my real fear stems from the idea that they didn't."
"I don't undersa...oh, wait..." Asha's eyes widened as she realized what Elizabeth was implying. "I can't imagine Charles having anything to do with your husband's disappearance, but he did work for White Collar, right? I know charities can be abused. Was he investigating Charles?"
Elizabeth just stared at Asha.
"Right, don't answer that. Sorry. That would be exactly the kind of thing that would fall under 'inside information'."
Asha paused thoughtfully for a moment. Elizabeth was about to excuse herself and leave when the waitress returned with the Rad Na that Asha had ordered for them. Asha thanked the waitress and took a bite while she looked like she was honestly thinking over how to over come their trust issues. Although not particularly hungry Elizabeth did picked at the spicy dish while she tried to decide if she was being overly paranoid. After a few minutes Asha put down her fork and made a point to make eye contact with Elizabeth.
"You're an intelligent women, Elizabeth, I'm guessing dangerously so when you put your mind to it." Asha smiled mischievously in a way that sharply reminded Elizabeth of Neal. "Let's just say for Devil's advocate sake that Charles really did have anything to do with your husbands disappearance, if so then talking to you was an incredibly arrogant and stupid move."
"You did say that he was entitled, that tends to go hand in hand with arrogance."
"It does and he is, but that doesn't mean I think he's evil." Asha chuckled. "But I can still understand your predicament. How about this, let's turn the tables. Give you the power here."
"What do you mean?"
"I've been thinking about hiring an assistant, how are your organizational skills?"
"I run an event planning company, or at least I did before all of this."
"Perfect. Start working with me, even if it's just a few hours a week. You can take a good close look at our books and if you see anything suspicious you can take it to the FBI."
"What?"
"If Charles is using Light for the Lost to launder money or hurt people then he's using me too and I want to know about it."
