Chapter Fifty-two
"Thank you so much for helping me with this, Elizabeth."
"My pleasure."
"I've let my office get out of control, haven't I?"
"You really have." Elizabeth agreed.
Asha paused in her work of sorting through a set of older files and studied Elizabeth for a moment. In their time together Elizabeth had never been an overly chatty person, but tonight she was particularly quiet and solemn. Her lips had smiled during her last statement but the emotion hadn't spread to her eyes. Usually despite her circumstances her naturally joyful attitude shone through now and again, but tonight her light blue eyes had been permanently clouded with sorrow. The fact that Elizabeth had called her earlier and specifically asked if she could come over added to Asha's suspicion that something was wrong beyond the usual.
Not sure if she should broach the subject Asha turned her attention back to the task at hand. Trying to make friends Asha didn't want to add to Elizabeth's paranoia by asking too many questions. Besides Asha had to admit that some of that mistrust had worn off on her. The day after the fund raiser Walker had come to her asking about Elizabeth. He had been very casual about it and usually Asha wouldn't have thought twice about it, but knowing how guarded Elizabeth was made Asha less willing to talk to him about her. Showing what could be considered too much curiosity Walker had kept looking for different angles to get the conversation going. It had gotten particularly uncomfortable when he had started to inquire about how her friendship with Elizabeth was developing. It could have just been her imagination but Asha had thought she'd heard a trace of irritation in his voice when she had informed him that Elizabeth was still fairly distant.
Walker hadn't really pushed hard for any details or asked anything directly about Peter's case. In fact everything he had said was perfectly friendly and outwardly he seemed to just be looking for ways to help. However looking at his behavior through the tint of Elizabeth's distrust Asha could see how his inquiry could be considered suspicious. Walker often asked her personal questions about people who came to Light for the Lost, but he seemed more interested in Elizabeth than the others. Since Elizabeth hadn't told her anything about how the FBI investigation was going Asha didn't worry about accidentally telling him anything, but at the same time she didn't like this new uneasiness she had around him. There had always been an air of self-importance about him, but lately Asha was finding he had an undercurrent of menace that she hadn't noticed before.
Feeling more anxious than she had in a while Asha realized that she had been shuffling the same dozen file folders for nearly half an hour. Looking up over at Elizabeth she found that she was lost in a repetitive task as well. She had a set of books that she kept arranging and rearranging on the shelf. Picking up another book she just stared at it vacantly for a full minute before visibly snapping out of her trance and slowly trying to find a place for it. Unable to just watch Elizabeth being miserable Asha decided she had to risk trying to help her even if it ended poorly.
"Elizabeth…" Asha said gently to get her attention.
Doing a good job of painting on a brave face Elizabeth turned away from the books and looked at Asha attentively.
"I know you still don't fully trust me, and I understand. I really do." Asha said carefully. "But I get the feeling something's wrong, more wrong than usual. I don't want to pry, and I don't want to make you uncomfortable…but I also hate to see you in pain."
"Is it that obvious?" Elizabeth sighed.
"It is." Asha nodded. "You don't have to tell me, but is there someone you can talk to?"
"No, I mean, yes, but…"
"You don't want them worrying about you." Asha said knowingly.
"Something like that."
"You don't have to be a rock through all of this. You know that, right? Trust me when I say your friends feel helpless even when you appear to be doing well. Sometimes it can help you and them to seek out a shoulder to cry on, makes them feel useful. Particularly if something's changed recently."
"Nothing's changed…it's just…today..." Elizabeth's eyes brightened as she fidgeted with wedding ring.
"…it's yours and Peter's anniversary, isn't it?" Asha asked softly.
Elizabeth nodded sadly as a stray tear slipped down her cheek.
"I'm so sorry, Elizabeth. Anniversaries are always difficult." Asha said empathetically. "We should be doing something better than rummaging though my office."
"No, this has been perfect. I like making order out of chaos."
"I've certainly provided chaos."
"You've provided me with so much more." Elizabeth said seriously. "I wish I could tell you that I fully trust your intentions because you have been nothing but kind and supportive. I hate not being able to believe in kindness, that's not who I usually am."
"Please don't stress about that right now." Asha said. "I wouldn't trust anyone in your place either so I honestly don't take any offense to it."
"Thank you."
Feeling that they had reached a deeper connection just by admitting to the fact that there was still some distrust between them Asha walked over to Elizabeth and offered her a hug. Elizabeth managed a genuine smile and accepted the moment of physical support. After even just the brief embrace Elizabeth's spirits were markedly improved. Asha suspected that Elizabeth was used to being a highly affectionate person and that with the sudden disappearance of her husband the sharp decline in physical contact had left her with an emptiness beyond the emotional desolation.
Asha was about to suggest that they give up on the office that was still a mess and seek out a drink when there was a timid knock at the door. Startled easily Elizabeth jerked back at the sound before she sighed in frustration. It broke Asha's heart to see how embarrassed and angry Elizabeth was with herself for the reaction to the innocent sound. Asha reached out and squeezed her shoulder to let her know it was okay and was rewarded by a grateful smile from Elizabeth. Asha flicked her eyes to the door and back in a silent question about if she should answer the door or not. Elizabeth brushed the back of her hand over her cheeks to dry them before she nodded.
"Come in." Asha called.
"Asha," an older woman greeted warmly as she stepped into the office "I wasn't sure you'd be here tonight…oh I'm sorry, I didn't know you had company."
"It's okay." Asha assured. "Elizabeth Burke, this is Judith Miller, Judith this is Elizabeth."
"Nice to meet you." Elizabeth greeted.
"You as well." Mrs Miller smiled sadly.
"Is everything okay, Judith?" Asha asked concerned.
"Honestly, I'm starting to give up hope." Mrs. Miller replied in a deeply guilty tone.
"That's a perfectly normal reaction at this point, it's been about four months, right?"
"Next week." She confirmed.
"Has the Skiptrace uncovered anything?"
"He found a few more gambling debuts, but that's not a surprise. Calvin had a real problem. I tried to help him, I just…" Mrs. Miller paused as her voice became more emotional. "The police still say there is no evidence of foul play, and it's not that I don't think my son wouldn't run away from his problems it's more that I know he didn't have the money to just flee the city."
"Don't lose faith yet."
"That's actually part of why I wanted to talk to you. The Skiptrace's contract is almost expired…"
"Say no more, I'll talk to the Board about getting another a grant for the Skiptrace. It's a good sign that there's at least some trail of Calvin."
"Thank you so much." Mrs. Miller said tearfully. "I could never afford this on my own. My son wasn't the best man in this world, but he was mine. I love and miss him. I just want to know what happened."
"I understand." Asha said warmly.
Mrs. Miller looked at Elizabeth and seeing that they shared a common pain she offered her a look of empathy before excusing herself. Asha felt that this might be the right moment to suggest to Elizabeth that she join one of the group sessions after sharing the brief connection. However turning back to Elizabeth she found that she had her brow furrowed in concerned thought.
"Elizabeth?" Asha asked. "Something wrong?"
"I'm just thinking about these Skiptracers you keep talking about."
"What about them?"
"Sounds like a profession that would breed con-artists." Elizabeth said bluntly. "Give people desperate for answers a little bit of hope, then ask for more money…like with Mrs. Miller."
"We work with a lot of different companies but Charles is very careful about which Skiptracers he's willing to do business with. He's flat out refused to work with several of them. I doubt any of them are defrauding the organization and Mrs. Miller hasn't paid anything out of pocket either, everything has come from the Light for the Lost Foundation."
"How do they get paid?"
"The organization submits grants to the Foundation Board and the funds come from the treasury which is funded by donations."
"I meant what form do the Skiptracers accept payment in." Elizabeth corrected.
"What do you mean?"
"Are they a cash based business?"
"I wouldn't think so, grants can sometimes be up to ten thousand dollars. I can't imagine they are paid in cash."
"But you don't know?"
"No. I don't deal with Skiptracers directly." Asha admitted. "I have my hands full with the support meetings and event planing. I don't really have anything to do with financial side other than fund raising."
"This Board, friends of Mr. Walker I assume?"
"He appointed four of them over the years, the other three are from before."
"Simple majority rules?"
"I don't know." Asha shrugged. "Why do you ask?"
"Nothing." Elizabeth said shaking her head.
"It's clearly not 'nothing'. What are you thinking?"
"...I'm thinking a set up like this is exactly how you launder money."
"What? No." Asha shook her head. "No. For that to even being to work Charles would have to own more than half the Skiptracers in New York."
"Who's to say he doesn't?"
