Chapter Sixty-seven
"Hon?"
Wandering through a murky version of his home that defied physics in both size and lay out Peter searched his dream for Elizabeth. With a growing sense of dread and anxiety he looped around in the impossibly interconnecting rooms frantically. Coming to the kitchen for what he felt was the dozenth time Peter stopped cold in his tracks at the state of it. Similar to when Keller had kidnapped her there was an over turned pot on the stove, however rather than the floor being spattered in tomato sauce the floor was soaked in blood.
"Welcome home, Agent Burke."
Still in shock Peter turned around to find York standing in a distorted copy of his living room with a smug smile slung across his face.
"I kept your wife out of this the first time around as a professional courtesy," York said casually before dropping his voice to a menacing tone "but now you've gone and made things personal."
Unable to accept the horror of the situation Peter was frozen in place staring at York. Looking like a beaten dog Jake stepped into view from his hiding place in York's shadow with his hands held behind his back and his eyes fixed on the floor.
"J…Jake?"
"Where else did you think he was going to go?" York chuckled. "I'm all he has."
"I'm sorry." Jake whimpered.
Jake brought his hands from around his back to reveal that they were covered in blood; Elizabeth's blood. Far more affected by the sight of the blood on Jake's hands than seeing it spread across the floor Peter bucked the scenario the nightmare was presenting him so hard that he actually woke himself up. Startled awake with the haze of the nightmare clinging to him Peter told himself it had to just be a bad dream despite how real it still felt simply because it was too horrific a reality to accept. Searching the dimly lit room desperately Peter nearly passed out with relief when he found Elizabeth getting up from the couch to step up to his bed side. He still had the head of the bed up, finding it was easier to breath sitting up. Peter's heart was still racing painfully but he smiled at her in hopes of hiding his previous anxiety as he reached out to take her hand.
"I love you." Peter said warmly.
"I love you too." Elizabeth forced a brave smile but it did little to hide her stress.
"Don't worry about my nightmares, they'll pass." Peter assured. "I just need some more time awake with you."
Elizabeth's smile became more genuine as she nodded.
"Did you get some sleep?"
"I did. How are you feeling?"
"Is Neal sleeping?" Peter asked rather than answered.
"He is." Elizabeth sighed sadly.
"Hon?" Peter asked concerned.
Elizabeth stepped to the side slightly to reveal that Neal was curled up on the floor with his back pressed into the corner. He had been offered a pillow and a blanket but instead of actually using them he was just holding them to his chest. A sickening pit opened up in Peter's stomach seeing Neal mimicking how they had slept together for the past two months on his own. Starting to pant in his sleep Neal whimpered in a grip of a nightmare but didn't wake.
"I tried to get him to go back to his room or at the very least lay down on the couch but he didn't feel comfortable doing either." Elizabeth explained.
"…what am I going to do?" Peter whispered. "I don't know how to deal with this. What if I make him worse?"
"You can't make him worse."
Peter turned a heartbreaking expression on Elizabeth at the thought that Neal was so broken that he couldn't do any more harm.
"I'm sorry, that didn't come out right." Elizabeth said quickly. "I meant that any support you give him will be helpful."
"What if I'm not enough?"
"Don't underestimate yourself, Hon." Elizabeth leaned in and kissed Peter's cheek. "For that matter don't underestimate Neal."
Peter nodded despite still fearing what the future was going to hold. As close as they had been over the past two months Peter was worried that it wasn't going to be long before Neal started pushing him away again. He had always hid his problems or had flat out run from them in the past and Peter knew how hard that pattern of behavior could be to break. Not seeing his own dysfunctional pattern of dealing with his own problems by worrying about other people's instead Peter stared at Neal curled up on the floor trying to decide if he should wake him.
"Knock, knock." A soft female voice came from outside the privacy curtain.
"Come in." Peter replied.
Having taken advantage of the lull in the conversation the same way the surgeon had a strikingly thin woman in a well fit blue dress with a white lab coat over it entered the room. She contemplated Neal sleeping on the floor for a moment before turning her attention to Peter.
"Agent Burke, Mrs. Burke," she greeted quietly with a hint of a Ukraine accent "my name is Dr. Azarov. How are you feeling?"
"I'm fine." Peter replied automatically. "I'm more worried about Neal, has he let anyone look at him?"
"No." Dr. Azarov shook her head. "However at this point it's far more important that we get both of you eating again. With the level of malnutrition you're both displaying that's priority number one. Since arriving you haven't eaten anything and Mr. Caffrey has only had a single bottle of Ensure."
"Are you sure he drank that?" Peter asked doubtfully.
"Either that or he poured it down the sink." Dr. Azarov said jokingly.
"He poured it down the sink." Peter said confidently.
"What?"
"Trust me." Peter said unable to hide his own revulsion.
"I'll take that off the menu." Dr. Azarov said knowingly. "Can I talk you into chicken broth?"
Peter nodded even though he wasn't even the slightest bit hungry. For so long eating anything had been such an unpleasant experience that Peter couldn't even name anything that would taste good right now. Hoping that starting slow would lead to a better appetite he was willing to force something down. Peter looked down at Neal and hoped that he could talk him into doing the same. Azarov followed Peter's gaze and guessed his train of thought.
"I will bring two bowls and give you some privacy," Dr. Azarov offered "but someone has to witness Mr. Caffrey eat something in the next few hours or we are going to have start considering a PEG."
"What does that mean?"
"A feeding tube." The doctor clarified.
"No, no he'll never agree to that."
"Then he needs to eat or his organs are going to start shutting down."
Having given her grim prognosis Azarov turned to leave. Peter appreciated that the doctor was being direct but at the same time it sent a pang of anxiety through him to hear that Neal was still in danger of starving to death. Elizabeth noticed his distress and squeezed his hand to assure him that neither one of them were going to just let Neal starve. Suddenly remembering what a wonderful cook Elizabeth was Peter relaxed, even if he couldn't think of anything he wanted to eat he knew she'd come up with something. Considering how much she enjoyed cooking as well it would make for a good stress reliever for her as well.
It didn't take long for the doctor to bring in two plastic bowls with lids on them. Peter doubted that the doctor often hand delivered meals and appreciated that the hospital staff was cutting down on the number of strangers he had to deal with. It wasn't even until now that he realized that they were also refraining from coming in every two hours and taking vitals. Peter knew he was wearing a portable heart monitor, but Neal clearly wasn't. Even though this was a large hospital he wondered just how much experience they had with cases like his and Neal's. Even the fact that the FBI had basically taken over the CCU must have distributed how they regularly conducted business.
"I should go find Mozzie." Elizabeth said. "Do you want me to wake Neal for you?"
"No. I'll do it."
"Okay. I'll take Mozzie down the cafeteria, we need to eat too. We'll be back in an hour or so."
"Don't go anywhere, even within the hospital, without an Agent."
"Reese already has one assigned to me." Elizabeth smiled.
"Good." Peter smiled. "I'm sorry, El…I hate asking you to leave."
"You didn't ask me to leave." Elizabeth smiled. "I volunteered."
"Thank you."
"Good luck."
Elizabeth leaned in for a kiss that Peter gladly accepted. He hated watching her leave, even though he knew she was safe in the hospital it still worried him to not be able to see her. Solving the spike in his anxiety by focusing on Neal Peter pulled the covers off and swung his legs over the side of the bed. Not even thinking that he probably shouldn't be standing on his own Peter got to his feet. He was shaky but he solved that issue by holding onto the IV pole for support since it needed to come with him anyway. Stacking the two closed bowls of soup on top of one another Peter took them over to Neal. Carefully kneeling down next to him he put the bowls on the floor. It didn't even occur to Peter to use his voice to wake Neal, in the Labyrinth when either one of them was sleeping the other was already right there so it made more sense to use movement to wake one another.
Peter didn't even realize how tightly Neal was holding the pillow and blanket in his arms until he put his hand on his shoulder, the contacted caused Neal to relax his powerful hold. Looking like he was actually resting now Peter hated to wake him. Peter wondered what they were going to do for Neal going forward at night. He was looking forward to being able to sleep with Elizabeth in his arms, but after months of sleeping with a guardian Neal might not do so well on his own. Pushing aside that issue for the more pressing matter of getting Neal eating again Peter gently rocked Neal's shoulder. Taking in a sharp breath Neal glanced up at Peter with a terrified expression before welding his eyes shut again.
"Neal…"
"No, I'm sorry, Peter, I can't…" Neal whispered. "I can't go back to the Ring, please forgi…"
"Neal," Peter interrupted "I'm not waking you up to fight. You got us out, remember? We're at the hospital. You're safe."
Keeping his eyes closed Neal visibly concentrated as his brow knit. Eventually finding the memories Neal opened his eyes and looked around the room to confirm them. Turning his attention to Peter Neal managed a warm smile. Peter smiled back and tried to help Neal sit up only to be sharply reminded that his ribs had recently had several plates put in them. Seeing Peter's flash of pain Neal quickly sat up looking for a way to help. Peter put his hand up to let Neal know he didn't need any help. Sitting down next to Neal so he could lean against the wall as well Peter took a moment to catch his breath. Once he was sure he wasn't going to pass out Peter leaned forward and pulled the bowls closer. Taking the lids off Peter placed one in front of Neal.
"No, thank you." Neal pushed the broth away. "I'm not hungry."
"Please. For me."
Neal sighed heavily in resignation as he looked down at the broth. In hopes of further encouraging him Peter picked up his own bowl and even though his stomach turned a little he drank from it. Once he actually got started on the broth Peter found the warm liquid surprisingly comforting, it had been months since he'd had anything that wasn't room temperature. Neal followed suit and from how quickly he finished the broth Peter guessed that he had a similar positive reaction to the warmth if not the taste. Putting the empty bowl down Peter moved a little closer to put his shoulder against Neal's as they sat in silence for a moment.
"Peter, I...I need you to do something for me." Neal said suddenly.
The way Neal had hesitated made Peter nervous about agreeing to anything so he just gave Neal and expectant look.
"I need you to describe York to me." Neal said in a hushed whisper as he was afraid someone might over hear. "In as much detail as you can, right down to the way he dresses."
"What?"
"I need to be able to draw him."
"Hughes already has a suspect."
"I know."
"You do?"
"For some reason when you can't talk people suddenly assume you can't hear." Neal said with a bitter edge. "Hughes and Jones were discussing someone named 'Walker' that they took into custody on some very flimsy charges who has a very good chance of being York."
"You don't need to draw him. Hughes will bring me a photo line up soon."
"You misunderstand."
"I guess I do."
"I want to be able to back up your testimony."
"You want me to help you lie." Peter said disapprovingly.
"I want to make sure that the man who kidnapped and tortured us doesn't go free."
"He won't."
"He will if the only evidence is a single eyewitness testimony, we both know how weak that is. Made even worse by the fact that you already have two very good reasons to accuse him even if he is innocent."
"What are you talking about?"
"I don't know all the details, something to do with Walker and Elizabeth."
Peter's blood ran cold remembering how upset Elizabeth had been when Hughes had mentioned they had a suspect. He had been hazy from the events of the day and surgery but he distinctly recalled how distressed she became, mentioning something about him being in the house before Hughes had cut her off.
"It will be easy for any lawyer to say your judgment and memory are clouded since Elizabeth might have fed you information on a distressing encounter and you could want revenge knowingly or even unknowingly."
"Memory can be tricky." Peter admitted. "Particularly in stressful situations."
"They might even further discredit your account by saying you've been coached by the FBI to accuse him."
"Why would the FBI do that?"
"Because Walker suing them."
"What?"
"And from what I gathered his case is a lot stronger than ours."
"The answer is still 'no', Neal."
"Peter…"
"No. York took so much from us already, I'm not letting him take my integrity…or yours."
