Chapter Seventy-two
"I saved your life!"
"Neal, if you just gi…"
"What more could the FBI *possibly* want from me?! What more do I have to do to prove myself?!"
"Neal, please, cal…"
Neal's next words to Peter although understandably spoken in frustration and anger had effectively ended the argument. Neal had flashed Peter a horrified look when he realized what he had just said, but he didn't offer any apologies. Needing to step away before he said something he would regret Peter just left to give them both some space. It was difficult to tell if Neal had just been upset or if he was teetering on the edge of a true psychotic break at finding himself a prisoner of the windowless hospital room. In either case Peter found he didn't have the emotional strength to deal with it right now and he had retreated to his own room.
"Don't be too hard on him." Peter repeated Liam's advice to himself. "…or yourself."
Sitting up in bed with a heavy heart Peter was having a hard time with following either half of Liam's words of wisdom. He hated himself for just leaving Neal for the other Agents to deal with, but he knew from experience that right now the only direction any conversation with Neal could go was down hill fast. Neal was so heart over head that any time Peter let his own emotions get too involved it always ended in causing a rift between them. For now Peter worked on finding comfort in the fact that they had always managed to mend all their broken fences in the past. Hopefully once Neal had a chance to calm down he'd realize that he did still need medical attention. As for getting him off his anklet Peter wasn't confident that right now was the best time for Neal to be set free on his own recognizance afraid that on his own Neal might be tempted to seek a sense of normalcy by returning to his old lifestyle in a reckless attempt to forget about his new demons. At the same time if anyone had earned an early release it was Neal. The final decision wasn't really Peter's to make but there was a good chance that the board would be asking his opinion on it soon and Peter was going to have to choose between what might be best for Neal and what was morally right.
Finding himself with a heavy heart and a painful stomach Peter just stared at the far wall blankly while he waited for Elizabeth to return. Mozzie had called for help when Satchmo wouldn't let him into the house. Having abruptly lost his pack Satchmo apparently had taken it upon himself to defend the home. Elizabeth had felt terrible about leaving Peter so soon after his argument with Neal but he assured her that he was okay and that Satchmo was an important family member who needed her right now. Needing a chance to get a change of clothes anyway Elizabeth agreed and promised to be back soon.
Peter wished that he could have just gone home with her, but even though unlike Neal he could technically leave AMA he wasn't about to. Sympathizing with Neal's point of view Peter was starting to feel like a prisoner here himself even if it was just his own moral code and common sense keeping him under medical care. Peter looked over towards the door hopefully when there was motion at the curtain over the door. When Agent Walsh peeked in with a friendly smile Peter couldn't help the apprehensive look he gave him. He knew it was too soon for Elizabeth to be back but he had hoped it was Neal having calmed down and coming to talk.
"I'm sorry, is this a bad time?" Agent Walsh asked apologetically.
"No, it's fine." Peter lied. "Come in, Agent Walsh."
"Please call me Alan."
"Peter." Peter said to let Walsh know he was okay with the informal address as well. "How can help you?"
"I just have a few questions." Walsh said. "We are trying to piece things together on our own to give you some time to recover, but we have some road blocks."
"I do plan to write a report soon, I know it's important to do it when things are fresh but I've had other concerns."
"Very understandable. I didn't think about an official report, but I suppose you were on duty when you were taken so everything that happened would fall under proper procedure."
"York took my badge but I was still a Federal Agent."
"You still are." Walsh smiled.
"Did you find my badge?"
"We did." Walsh nodded. "Sadly the only fingerprints on it are yours."
"Not a surprise." Peter sighed as he felt a sudden tightening in his chest. "Alan, I know I said this was a good time, but honestly I'm not sure I'm up for making an official statement right now."
"I'm actually not here for an official statement. I just came to sort a few things out…Agent to Agent."
Peter knew it wasn't entirely appropriate to be talking to Walsh about what happened off record but at the same time Walsh's tone suggested that it would be wise to hear him out. When Peter didn't protest Walsh accepted it as permission to keep talking.
"I've been down through what Caffrey labeled as 'The Labyrinth', I've got to admit I…I'm at a bit of a loss for words."
"It was a nightmare."
"I can't even imagine. We found what looks like a ring and combined with the physical evidence on both you and Caffrey we've come to the conclusion that you forced into fighting for spectator entertainment?"
"Yes." Peter replied solemnly looking down at the scars and wounds across his knuckles. "I did what I could to keep from participating but…"
"It's okay," Walsh said when Peter hesitated "you did what you had to survive."
Peter nodded appreciating that Walsh was only looking for broad strokes and not details. There was going to come a point when both himself and Neal were going to have to recount everything that happened in an official statement, but they would cross that bridge when they came to it.
"I can't believe that we didn't even have rumors of a place like this even existing." Walsh continued sounding frustrated. "I know the FBI can't keep track of everything, but you'd think some criminal scum would have squealed on the massive underground fight club to use as leverage."
"York ruled with a terrifying combination of fear and loyalty."
"Yeah, several of the men without brands that we came across during the raid fought to the death and the ones we took alive aren't talking. I'm hoping that will change when we actually take Walker to court."
"I doubt that it will. He was skilled with maintaining a strong psychological hold on people. Speaking of which, have you found out anything about Jake?"
"Quite a bit, none of which that is actually helping us locate him though." Walsh admitted. "Through fingerprints we were able to figure out his name is Jacob Tulie, son of Gloria Tulie she died of a drug over dose when he was six, his father is 'unknown'. Jake bounced around the foster system as a difficult case until he eventually ended up in Juvie for a B and E. He applied for the Army at 21 but didn't pass his ASVAB or psych tests, after that he pops up now and then for minor offenses for a few years before disappearing off public record completely. Never had an official residence, driver's license, or even a credit card."
"When was he reported missing?"
"He wasn't."
"What?"
"Jake isn't in the National Missing Persons Database. Likely he didn't have anyone in his life that bothered to a file a report."
"He never had a chance, did he?" Peter sighed.
"It's sad to say but there are cracks in society, sometimes people fall through them."
"We have to find him. Jake is going to hurt someone. He's going to get lonely and afraid and when that happen he's going to look for a way to gain control in the only way he knows how. He tortured Neal because he wanted to interact with him and he didn't know how to do so without violence."
"We are doing everything we can but finding someone like Jake in the network of tunnels under the city is like chasing a rabbit through a brier patch." Walsh said before looking around as if double checking that they were alone. "But...Jake isn't why I'm here."
"Why are you here?" Peter asked when Walsh didn't continue.
"Ballistics just came back on a body found in the Labyrinth with a gun shot to the chest…"
"His name was Danisko. I shot him." Peter supplied freely. "Further forensics will show he has Neal's blood all over him. Danisko was going to murder Neal, I stopped him."
"How did you gain access to your weapon?"
"York…Walker gave it to me. He set Danisko on Neal in the Ring to force me into protecting him with lethal force."
"This is good." Walsh mused in obvious relief of the explanation before flashing Peter an embarrassed look. "I'm sorry, that sounded awful."
"It did."
"I just meant that this will make a good narrative for the trial, it paints you in a very good light. You could have used that bullet on revenge against your captor instead you used it to save a friend. The jury is already going to be very sympathetic towards Caffrey, he's a classic victim and an attractive one at that, this is going to help them connect with you more as well."
"I hate that we are building this case by finding ways to manipulate a jury into believing me."
"I know, but that's how the system in cases like this works." Walsh said with a shrug. "This should be open and shut, but due to Walker's influence it's going to be one hell of a fight. Walker is already fully lawyered up and out on bail."
"What?" Peter asked shocked as his heart rate spiked. "They let him post bail in a Federal case like this?"
"Walker has friends in high places, very high places."
"Where's my wife? Where's Elizabeth?" Peter asked anxiously. "She should be back by now."
"Easy, Agent, Walker isn't going to come after either of you, not now that we are watching him."
"You don't know that!" Peter snarled. "He thinks he's above the law and he's starting to prove that maybe he is!"
"No one is above the law, Peter, some people are just harder to prosecute than others. Walker might have gotten away with stealing criminals and orphaned psychopaths off the street for years, but he is not prepared for the heat we are going to bring on him for messing with a Federal Agent."
"Jake and others deserve justice just as much as I do."
"And thanks to you they'll get it."
Peter took a deep breath and tried to calm his racing heart. Becoming so easily shaken wasn't like him and wasn't going to help anyone or their case against Walker. Deciding that now was a good time for full disclosure Peter had one more piece of information for Walsh.
"When the ballistics come back on Sawyer and the men with him you'll probably find they were executed with my weapon as well but I wasn't there."
"Can you tell me a little bit more about that?" Walsh asked.
Peter didn't like the phrasing or the tone Walsh had used for his inquiry. It was the kind of vague leading type question that Peter would use if he was trying to catch someone who didn't know they were a suspect in a lie. With nothing to hide about Sawyer Peter told an abbreviated version of his encounters with Sawyer up to the point where York had him killed to keep him safe. Walsh listened with a practiced expressionless face. When Peter was done Walsh thought over the new information for a moment.
"You don't have any first hand knowledge of the killings? You didn't see any of the bodies?"
"No. It's all second hand information. Did you not find them?"
"We only found Sawyer's body, we didn't know he had 'friends' so to speak. Could you identify the men with Sawyer?"
"Yes."
"That could be very useful. They could be in custody and if facing aggravated assault against a Federal Agent they may turn on Walker."
"Did Walker use my weapon on Sawyer?" Peter asked not sure he wanted to hear the answer. He hated the idea of the gun that had kept him safe for years being used in a murder but he needed to know.
"No." Walsh answered looking a little uncomfortable.
"What happened to him?"
"Um…" Walsh hesitated. "Don't worry about it."
"Agent Walsh, what happened to Sawyer?"
"He…uh…was left bound and gagged. Walker must have made it clear that anyone who released him would suffer worse. Sawyer died of dehydration."
"Wha…no, Jake told me Walker sho…" Peter stopped when he couldn't remember Jake's exact words. "I could have helped him…"
"Sawyer was determined to kill you."
"That doesn't mean I'd leave him to die slowly!"
"No, I didn't mean that at all." Walsh corrected quickly. "I meant that it could have been dangerous for you to help him. I shouldn't have even told you, in fact you need to just forget we had this conversation. Can you do that?"
Peter didn't answer, he had lost focus on what Walsh was saying as his stomach twisted painfully and his blood started to run cold. The longer he talked about York and the Labyrinth the more anxious he had become but this new information was truly sickening. Peter had taken it for granted that York had shot Sawyer, but thinking back Jake had simply assured him that if York and Sawyer had a disagreement that York would have killed him. Peter had been so concerned with helping Neal get through the night that it hadn't occurred to him to confirm Sawyer's fate and Sawyer had suffered cruelly because of it.
"Peter?" Walsh asked gently. "Peter, it's okay. No one is blames you for Sawyer's death."
Peter just nodded knowing that under the conditions he couldn't have been expected to predict how York would turn on Sawyer, but he was still struggling to not blame himself. Walsh tried to offer him a few more consoling words but he could tell he was just making things worse. Excusing himself from the room Walsh made a promise that he would find Jake before leaving. Left alone Peter's guilt over Sawyer's difficult end turned to anxiety over how easily Walker could have forced that same fate on himself and Neal. He shook his head trying to stop himself from imagining a scenario where he would have had to watch Neal slowly succumb to thirst. Becoming increasingly agitated Peter clenched his teeth as bile jumped to the back of his throat.
With his stomach fully revolting on him Peter scrambled to get out of bed and into the bathroom. Dropping to knees in the bathroom Peter was violently ill. Still only eating liquids most of what came up was bile causing him to gag further on the acrid taste. Beginning to dry heave unproductively Peter fought to regain control. Eventually managing to calm his stomach he sat back on the cold floor with a throbbing headache. Peter dragged his forearm across his mouth to try to wipe away the foul taste. Closing his eyes he took a few deep breaths before getting back to his feet.
Stepping into the room Peter jerked back when he found a nurse standing in the room checking in on him. Not in the mood to deal with the nurse Peter just waved her away. Standing in the bathroom doorway looking around at the small CCU room Peter felt an all too familiar claustrophobia pressing in on him. Unable to bear the thought of going back to bed Peter wandered over to the corner and sat on the floor.
Peter knew he had to stop seeking the comfort of having his back to the wall but right now he just needed something to get him through until Elizabeth returned. Alone with his thoughts Peter's mind instantly drifted back to his argument with Neal. As much as he didn't want to be alone right now he couldn't imagine facing Neal right now either. With no good options he swallowed against the continued taste of bile as just waited the anxiety attack out.
Peter didn't blame Neal for wanting to leave the hospital in a desperate attempt to distance himself from his mental pain, he didn't even blame him for being angry when he learned he wasn't free to go. Between his original sentence, his time with the FBI, and his time in the Labyrinth it had been nearly a decade since Neal had any kind of control over his life. Peter understood that Neal had struggled for a long time to prove to others and more importantly to himself that he could be something other than a con. However even understanding all of Neal's pain and frustration his words had still cut Peter right down to the marrow and were preventing him from seeking his friend's help in this moment of need.
'What more could the FBI *possibly* want from me?! What more do I have to do to prove myself?!'
'Neal, please…'
'I wonder if York would have bothered to brand me for life if he'd known you'd beaten him to it!'
