NOTE: super hard chapter to write. I hope it works. Thank you all for all your support! It's been so long since I've actually watched the show that I honestly don't remember how they handled things right after Keller and all that...so I put my own spin on it. ;)


Chapter Seventy-five

"I'm sorry, Satchmo." Elizabeth apologized sincerely as she knelt down. "I know this must be frightening for you, but everything is going to be okay. Daddy will be home soon."

Not understanding her words but finding comfort in the tone of her voice Satchmo wagged hesitantly as he pressed his head against Elizabeth's chest. Elizabeth put her arms around Satchmo as she looked around at the utter destruction he had caused. Even as a pup Satchmo had rarely destroyed anything but under the stress of having Peter gone and then with Elizabeth seemingly abandoning him as well the powerful labrador had taken his anxiety out on the furniture with spectacular results. With couch and love seat stuffing littering the floor it almost looked like it had snowed in the living room. He had also chewed through three of the wooden banister railings on the stairs as well as some of the molding.

"Sorry about the mess." Mozzie said despite not being to blame.

"It's fine, it really wasn't fair of me to just leave him. It is an amazing mess though."

"I can clean up this up, don't worry about it. I think Satchmo will be okay with me now."

"Actually the hospital told me I could bring him to Peter."

"Really?"

"They encourage families to bring their dogs in for visits."

"Dogs do make good medicine."

"Peter could use Satchmo right now." Elizabeth said sadly.

"Is everything okay?"

"Neal and Peter had a fight."

"A fight?" Mozzie asked surprised. "About what?"

"Neal's anklet."

"I had totally forgotten about that."

"So had Neal." Elizabeth sighed. "Mozzie I need you to do me a favor."

"Anything."

"Don't help Neal run. Please, I don't think Peter could handle it right now if Neal disappeared."

"Elizabeth, Neal isn't going anywhere." Mozzie assured. "I can see where he would be upset about the anklet, and honestly he has every right to be, but he's not going to run. He talks a big game at times, but when it comes down to it he wants to be here, he wants to be with Peter, and he certainly isn't going to leave him in a time of need."

"He's so angry…" Elizabeth whispered recalling Neal's bitter accusation to Peter.

"Neal's an emotional creature, you know that."

Elizabeth nodded as she rubbed at Satchmo's ears to comfort herself. Peter has looked so despondent when he'd backed out of Neal's room. She tried to tell herself that Neal was just feeling trapped and was understandably lashing out out of fear and stress, she just wished he hadn't taken his frustration out on Peter in such a malicious manner. Overwhelmed by the long emotional road ahead of all them mixed with her own exhaustion Elizabeth couldn't keep from breaking down. Still kneeling down with Satchmo she hid her face in his soft fur. Distressed by the turn in her emotions Satchmo whimpered.

"Elizabeth, it's going to be okay." Mozzie said feeling helpless.

"I know." Elizabeth nodded, trying to stay positive. "I just hate seeing them in pain. I know Neal wouldn't act like this if he wasn't suffering, but it's adding so much to Peter's stress. I love Neal, I do, but no one can hurt Peter like he can."

"No one can help him like Neal either. They have a shared trauma and as much as you and I can be there for them no can understand what they've been though like they can. Neal's dealing with stresses that he doesn't know how to cope with, please don't blame him for lashing out."

"I'm not blaming him, I know his anger is a symptom…I just…I just want everything to go back to normal."

"Give it some time. Give Neal and Peter some time."

Elizabeth nodded again still feeling heavy hearted.

"Take a shower, get some fresh clothes, you'll feel better."

"I need to get back to the hospital."

"You need to take care of yourself, you'll do Peter and Neal more good if you do. You've been living at the hospital for almost four days."

"So have you."

"Let's just say I'm used to life without indoor plumbing for extended periods of time."

Elizabeth chuckled, feeling a little better at the chance to laugh. Finally standing up she pulled Mozzie into a warm hug. Flushing deeply Mozzie returned the affection carefully. Thanking him for helping her through everything Elizabeth went upstairs for a much needed shower and change of clothes. Not knowing how much longer Peter was going to be in the hospital she packed a few things to bring with her this time. She was about to head back downstairs when her phone chimed at her. She couldn't help the pang of anxiety that coursed through her ever time the phone asked for her attention. Looking at the text and seeing that it was from Asha Elizabeth's anxiety turned to guilt.

'I have been hearing rumors. Please don't tell me either way, but just know that I pray that the ones concerning your husband are true even if I still can't believe the rest. I miss you, but I understand.'

Elizabeth stared at the message for a full minute torn on how or even if she should reply. She still didn't know if Peter had identified Walker or not, she had to leave the room while he looked at the photos and right afterwards he'd had the argument with Neal. Knowing the case would still be sensitive even if he did pick Walker out Elizabeth worried about associating with Asha. Elizabeth didn't believe for one second that Asha was in any way responsible, but she did work for Walker and lawyers had ways of twisting everything. Putting the phone in her pocket Elizabeth told herself she just wasn't going to reply however a sickening feeling in her stomach wouldn't let her continue ignore the woman who had done so much for her.

'Thank you.' Elizabeth paused before adding to the short message. 'For everything.'

Elizabeth waited a moment to see if Asha would reply and was relieved when she didn't. Elizabeth hoped that once everything was over that Asha would be willing to reconnect. Even if Walker was the one who had taken everything from her Asha had helped pull her through it. Elizabeth had hoped that replying to Asha would calm her anxiety, but despite continuing to tell herself that Asha was innocent she couldn't keep paranoid thoughts from gnawing at her.

Hurrying down stairs Elizabeth found Mozzie doing his best to collect up the couch foam while Satchmo followed him around with his head low and his tail slightly tucked in contrition. Having gathered up an armful of the unruly fluff Mozzie was at a loss as to what to do with it. Deciding to return it to the torn couch he lost his balance slightly but managed to catch himself before he fell. Although he kept on his feet he looked a little dazed.

"Mozzie?" Elizabeth asked concerned.

"I'm fine."

"Are you?"

"I haven't gotten much sleep." Mozzie admitted.

"You need sleep. Stay here, get a shower, and a nap."

"Satchmo destroyed my nap spot." Mozzie pointed out.

"You can use our bed upstairs."

"Peter won't like that."

"It will be our secret." Elizabeth smiled.

"I should get back to Neal."

"I will check in on him for you. Please, you need to take care of yourself too."

Mozzie clearly wanted to protest but now that it had been suggested that he rest he was finding it difficult to keep his eyes open. Elizabeth insisted that Mozzie take his own advice and he finally conceded before heading upstairs. When Elizabeth walked over towards the front door and picked up the leash Satchmo bounded over and danced with excitement at the prospect of being included.

"If you think you're excited now just wait." Elizabeth smiled.

Overjoyed by Elizabeth's excitement Satchmo wiggled so much it was difficult to get his leash snapped to his collar. The Agent that had escorted Elizabeth home was standing guard outside while he waited to take her back. Elizabeth apologized about the fur in the back seat of his car but the Agent assured her that it was an FBI vehicle and they'd pay to clean it. Elizabeth hadn't seen much of Jones and Diana other than a few quick visits with Peter, but she suspected they were busy investigating the finical side of Walker even though they officially weren't supposed to be working that case.

Bringing Satchmo up to the CCU Elizabeth felt that he would have a good effect on Neal as well. Hopeful that perhaps he and Peter had patched things up while she was away Elizabeth was not prepared to step into the chaotic scene that greeted her. They had slowly been turning the lights up on Neal and Peter but it was still dark compared to the bright day outside adding to the confusion. Having stepped through the double doors that separated the unit from the rest of the floor Elizabeth found Neal standing in the middle of the hall with an alarming amount of blood staining his clothes down his side. He had terrified yet some how still vacant expression in his eyes and he didn't acknowledge her in any way.

Despite that Neal clearly needed help no one was paying the slightest attention to him. There were three Agents near by but they were all focused on Peter's room. Elizabeth was so upset that Neal was just abandoned in the hallway looking like he was deep in shock that it didn't even dawn on her that there might be a reason why the staff was nowhere in sight and that the Agents were preoccupied. Satchmo whined and took a hesitant step towards Neal before backing up again. Keeping a tight hold of his leash Elizabeth carefully approached Neal. He had his cobalt eyes locked on something that Elizabeth couldn't see and he still didn't seem to even realize she was there.

"Neal." Elizabeth said gently to no effect. "Neal, can you hear me?"

With shallow shuddering breaths Neal slowly turned his attention to her and furrowed his brow in confusion. Elizabeth wasn't sure if he was struggling to recognize her or if he was having trouble connecting with reality in general. Gaunt with weight loss and pale with stress he looked like he was barely hanging on to consciousness.

"Elizabeth?" Neal pieced together in a hoarse whisper.

"That's right." Elizabeth smiled warmly. "Neal, you need to let the doctors treat you. Please."

"They…they're all with Peter."

"What?"

Elizabeth's blood turned to ice at the horrified anxiety in Neal's trembling voice. Looking up at the scene again it suddenly pulled into focus what was happening. She couldn't see into Peter's room past the curtain but the shadows at the bottom spoke of the activity behind them. Without thinking Elizabeth rushed forward. Neal caught her around the waist and held her back. She wasn't sure if his reaction had been an automatic one or if he knew that if things weren't going well in the room that she probably couldn't handle the sight. If Peter was crashing there wouldn't be anything she could do other than get in the way but she desperately wanted to be there for him. With her panicked thoughts stumbling over one another as she imagined the worst Elizabeth tried to call out to him but found herself too breathless to make any sound. Tucking his tail at the sudden fear in the air Satchmo pressed against Elizabeth's leg.

Before Elizabeth could even begin to process the idea that she might lose Peter Dr. Azarov stepped out of the room. Quickly surveying the unit Azarov spotted Elizabeth and made a point of smiling brightly at her. Elizabeth was glad that Neal still had his arms around her waist because she had become dizzy with relief from the positive sign from the doctor. Agent Walsh who had been waiting anxiously next to the door visibly relaxed as well. Azarov walked quickly over to Neal and Elizabeth. She still had her reassuring smile but a knot in Elizabeth's stomach still tightening as she approached. Satchmo stretched his neck out as far as he could without leaving Elizabeth's side as he sniffed at Azarov with great interest and started wagging the tip of his tail in hesitant excitement.

"Your husband is fine, Mrs. Burke." Azarov said quickly before any other explanation.

"Thank you." Elizabeth replied weakly.

"Wha…what happened?" Neal asked still sounding dazed.

"He had a severe panic attack that mimicked a heart attack, which is common. It can be very difficult to tell the two apart at times for both us and the patient. With as taxed as his system is it was very plausible that he was in danger of arrest, so we took every precaution. Even under normal conditions we treat these episodes as emergencies until they prove to be other wise. I'm sorry, it must have been frightening for you both but we had to make sure he was stable."

"You're sure he's okay?" Elizabeth asked anxiously.

"We gave him some Ativan and he's resting comfortably, we are doing some blood work just to be sure. However I'm confident his heart is strong." Azarov looked down at Satchmo and smiled. "I bet he would love to see this guy, and vice versa."

Able to smell Peter on the doctor and now having her attention Satchmo thrashed his tail violently back and forth. Relieved that Peter was physically okay despite his psychological distress Elizabeth suddenly became aware of just how hard Neal was shaking. Doctor Azarov looked at him in concern but rather than try to approach him directly she gave Elizabeth a pleading look. Willing to do whatever she could to get Neal to accept help Elizabeth stepped out of his light embrace and turned to face him.

He looked like he was on the verge of becoming panic stricken himself. The scent from the gore staining his side was a warning sign that he needed to stop refusing the antibiotics before the infection literally ate him from the inside out. With a fine bead of sweat at his battered temple from a quickly rising fever Neal was staring at nothing with a petrified expression sparkling in his red rimmed eyes. Elizabeth glanced at the blank wall wondering what it was Neal saw there before she turned her attention back to him.

"Neal…" Elizabeth said gently. "Neal, look at me."

When Neal failed to reconnect with reality Elizabeth risked reaching out and touching him. Not thinking about the brand that lay beneath his bloodied shirt she rested her hand over his heart to get his attention. Neal jerked slightly at the contact but it did pull him back into focus as he looked at Elizabeth with a sorrowful expression.

"I'm sorry." Neal whispered.

"Don't worry about it, Peter is fine, but I'm increasingly worried about you. Neal, I can't even pretend to know what you're going through, but I do know that it is going to get worse if you keep refusing help."

Neal nodded meekly as he broke eye contact again. Elizabeth knew this was a difficult topic for Neal, he seemed desperate to trust but in times of need he often fell back on the belief that the only person he could truly rely on was himself. Elizabeth considered her next words carefully knowing that her plan might backfire but feeling it was worth the risk.

"Don't tell Peter I told you this but after everything that happened with the treasure and Keller I…I wasn't sure I wanted you back in our lives." Elizabeth admitted solemnly. "Peter had to convince me that you were worth another chance after he and I had to pay such a heavy price for your lie."

Neal's anxiety became palpably at the mention of the stolen treasure that had lead to Keller kidnapping her. Elizabeth knew that Neal still carried a great deal of guilt over the event, but she had a goal in mind by bringing it up.

"When I asked him why he was even considering it he told me: 'Neal didn't fail me, I failed him.'."

"What?" Neal asked shocked.

"Once the dust settled Peter decided that if he had handled things differently after he shot Adler that maybe things would have gone better, that maybe you would have come to him. Peter always wants to believe in the best in you. In the end I agreed not only because I do truly forgive you but also because Peter wasn't just giving you a second chance, he was giving himself one."

"I didn't know that." Neal admitted.

"I know, Peter is a proud man. It's an alpha male thing." Elizabeth smiled ruefully. "He doesn't like to admit to his mistakes but he tries to learn from them. Peter has always wanted what he feels is best for you, he desperately wants to see you succeed. However he's only human and he doesn't always go about things the right way."

"Just like me." Neal smiled sadly.

"Just like you." Elizabeth agreed. "My point is that people don't offer second chances like that one to just anyone, you mean so much to us both. Peter and I love you, Neal, it pains us to watch you suffer, and right now we…we are watching you die."

"Elizabeth…"

"Please, Neal, please let the doctors treat you and give them the time they need." Elizabeth begged. "It would break our hearts to lose you now when help is right here."

Neal stared at Elizabeth in shock as if it hadn't occurred to him that he was in mortal danger from refusing the doctors. Slowly looking down at the rancid blood soaking through his shirt Neal's breath hissed across his teeth showing that he hadn't even noticed that he'd reopened his wound. Further proving how far his health had slipped Neal glanced at the empty spot on the wall and curled his lip defiantly at whatever hallucination was taunting him. Turning his eyes back to Elizabeth he smiled warmly.

"Mr Caffrey," Azarov finally spoke up "I can help you, but Mrs Burke is correct in that you are on a knife's edge. You need care or you are going to go into septic shock. We need to get fluids, antibiotics and some food into you as well as run some blood work."

"Okay." Neal agreed quietly.

"Thank you, Neal." Elizabeth leaned in and kissed Neal's cheek.

"Thank you." Neal smiled.

Elizabeth hoped that this time Neal stuck with his promise to allowing for medical care. With Liam they had backed him into a corner, it had been necessary at the time, but she hoped that this approach would work better. She knew he still had a long way to go emotionally but if they could just keep him calm enough to heal physically they'd be on the right track, but she got the feeling that it was going to be an uphill battle. Accepting the ground she had won today Elizabeth tried not to worry about the next bridge until they came to it. Getting increasingly impatient Satchmo whined quietly causing Neal to reached down and rub between his ears. Standing back up Neal nearly passed out as his blood pressure tanked. Elizabeth put her hands around his wait to help keep him on his feet but he was fading fast.

"Mr. Caffrey, I need you back in your room before you fall."

"Peter…"

"Don't worry about Peter right now, go with the doctor. Everything between you and Peter is going to work out, despite everything you two always find common ground to stand on." Elizabeth assured. "You will forgive him, and he will forgive you."

"I hope so."

"I know so. Two sides of the same coin always meet in the middle."