Chapter Eighty-one
"Good to be home?"
The uncertainty and anxiety in Elizabeth's voice snapped Peter out of the trance he'd fallen into. Upon first entering his living room Peter had instantly been struck by how far away his previous life there felt. Rather than returning after just two months it seemed like it had been closer to two years or even two lifetimes ago. Something about it just didn't feel real, everything was familiar but he had somehow forgotten many of the details of his home during his captivity. The small holes in his memory gave him the sensation of not being quite in the right place, like someone was trying to fool him with a facsimile of his home. Peter felt guilty that his uneasiness had transferred directly to Elizabeth and he turned to her with a warm smile before carding his hand into her hair. Even if the house was unfamiliar she wasn't, he remember everything about her.
"Hon, I was home the second you took my hand in the ER." Peter said sincerely.
A beautiful pink flushed Elizabeth's cheeks as her light blue eyes brightened with tears. With all the emotional strain she had been under lately any shift in mood, even a positive one, caused her to end up on the brink of shedding tears. Struggling with the sting of tears himself Peter pulled Elizabeth into a passionate kiss that she gladly accepted and returned. With his recent lung trauma Peter quickly found himself breathless from the affection. Forced to break off the kiss but unwilling to let her go Peter wrapped his arms around her waist and just held her. Carefully laying her head against Peter's chest Elizabeth close her eyes and sighed contently.
"I missed you." Elizabeth whispered.
"I missed you too."
"It never felt real that you were gone, and I hate to admit this but it doesn't feel all that real now either."
"I know the feeling. I always tried to keep my hope that I'd be home again, however…" Peter didn't finish his dark thought. "It may take some time to feel normal again but I know we will get there."
"I don't even need to feel 'normal'." Elizabeth smiled. "I just need you and against all odds you're here."
"I am." Peter agreed as he held her closer.
Even with her understandably delicate mood Peter was alarmed when Elizabeth suddenly broke down into a heartbreaking weep. Just allowing the release Peter rested his chin over her head as he held her. Sharply reminded of holding Neal this way through their darkest moments Peter couldn't help but worry about him. He hated seeing Elizabeth cry but having her to support was helping him keep his own mood stable as he took on his familiar protective role. As much as Elizabeth helped him Peter feared that Mozzie wasn't going to be able to have a powerful enough calming affect to help Neal tonight. Focusing on Elizabeth for now Peter nuzzled her to help comfort his wife. Taking a deep breath Elizabeth managed to rein herself back in.
"I'm so sorry, Peter, it hurt so much to dream that this moment was possible that I had to stop, I couldn't let myself even pretend I'd see you again." Elizabeth whimpered. "I never should have doubted that you'd find a way back to me."
"It's okay, I never expected or even wanted you to let a wound like that just bleed out for months. You had ever reason to believe that I was gone and you had every right to try and heal yourself."
"Not having any answers made getting past the 'denial' so difficult that I never really did. If I didn't have Mozzie and Asha I don't know what I would have done."
"I knew Mozzie would step up and take care of you, I took a lot of comfort in knowing he was with you." Peter smiled before looking around. "Don't tell him I said that."
"I won't." Elizabeth chuckled.
Peter's smile lit up brighter at hearing Elizabeth's musical laughter. He found himself appreciating how the sound didn't echo hollowly off the walls like every noise in the Labyrinth had. The ringing echo off the concrete had made the dungeon feel that much more cold and dead, but in the warm and increasingly familiar feeling walls of their home the sound of Elizabeth's mirth enveloped him. With sound already on his mind Peter was acutely aware when his stomach suddenly growled. Satchmo had been very patient about sitting next to them but when he heard that his returned Alpha was hungry he jumped up and wagged violently in hopes that dinner was imminent.
"I need to feed my boys." Elizabeth said happily. "I was a little restricted in what I could put together for you but I think you'll like it."
"I love it already."
"You've always been easy to feed."
"Nothing wrong with simple tastes."
"Nothing at all." Elizabeth pushed up on her tip toes and kissed Peter's cheek. "I hope Neal likes what I prepared for him, his palate is far more discerning."
"It's received a major downgrade lately." Peter assured. "Thank you for doing that for him."
"I wish Neal had come home with us." Elizabeth sighed sadly.
"Me too."
Peter had tried to keep his obvious concern for Neal out of his replied but he failed. Elizabeth flashed him a empathetic smile that was well practiced. This was the most extreme case but far from the first time that Peter had desperately tried to help Neal only to have him pull away. There had been so many problems between them in the past that could have been avoided if Neal was just more willing to accept help.
"Now now, don't judge Neal too harshly." Elizabeth said reading Peter's thoughts. "You're just as stubborn as he is, if not more so, when it comes to accepting help."
"I just want to make sure he's okay."
"Right, but did you tell him the other side of that?"
"What?"
"Did you make it clear to Neal that it would help *you* to have him here?"
"I'm fine. I have you."
"Some days I would love it if that were enough for you, but that's not who you are." Elizabeth smiled mischievously. "The guard dog needs his flock just as much as they need his teeth or else he feels useless."
"You know I really regret telling you about that particular analogy from the therapist." Peter shook his head sadly.
"I think it's adorable and fits you perfectly."
"Maybe you're right. Maybe I want Neal here more for me than him. Maybe he was right to go home. We both need to at least try to get back to normal lives and that includes having our own space. I just worry about him hiding his pain from me for my sake. He says he's fine but I know he's not."
"Mozzie won't let him truly suffer, if Neal needs you Moz will call."
Peter wasn't entirely sure that was true knowing how much Neal would protest against Mozzie reaching out on his behalf but he had to accept the situation for now. Wondering what the hold up was on dinner Satchmo started to become a little more persistent about it. In a move towards normalcy Peter offered to feed the dog while Elizabeth prepared dinner for them. It did feel good to sit down to a table to eat rather than the hospital tray. Although as wonderful as Elizabeth's cooking was it still didn't take much for Peter's anxious stomach to start threatening to rebel on him.
"You don't have to finish that." Elizabeth said gently. "Don't make yourself sick."
"I'm sorry, it's wonderful it really is."
"The doctor said for the first few days to have you just eat what you can and after you're a little more settled in we need to really watch your calories and make sure you're getting enough."
"I never imagined that gaining weight would ever be this difficult." Peter said seriously.
"We'll get there."
"We will."
Peter reached across the small kitchen table and took Elizabeth's hand. He couldn't even describe how good it felt to be able to touch her again. Despite all the physical pain and fear that had competed for his attention during his captivity it had always been the ache in his heart from being torn from Elizabeth that consumed his thoughts the most. Being with her in their home again was going a long way to help fade the pain of the struggle it had taken to get to this point.
"The sun will have set by now," Elizabeth noted "we should go outside."
"Absolutely."
Peter had been so far removed from the concept of night and day that it hadn't even occurred to him that it would be dark out. Even in the hospital there had been a severe senses of timelessness since the lights were always low and he hadn't been on any kind of sleep schedule. Even though it probably wasn't very late Peter wasn't sure how much longer he'd be able to stay awake. However for a chance to step out into some fresh air he'd force his eyes open a little longer.
Satchmo raced around the small private fenced in yard as Peter and Elizabeth enjoyed some silent time together. With Elizabeth leaning her back against him they both watched the ecstatic Labrador race in circles. Peter smiled as the slightly cool night air ruffled his hair that had gotten a little longer than he usually kept it. Looking up didn't really reveal any stars but it still felt good to see up into the open sky that held a faint glow from the city lights. Taking a deep breath of the fresh air Peter sighed happily.
"It's amazing how special something as simple as being in the backyards has become." Elizabeth said.
"Being with you has always been special to me. I didn't have to lose you to know what I had, I've always been in awe that you chose me."
"You did need a little persuading to make that 'first move'."
"I wasn't sure I was good enough."
"I was sure."
Elizabeth twisted around in Peter's arms so that she could steal another kiss. More than happy to accept the affection but also fading fast Peter had a little trouble returning it with his usual energetic passion. Smiling as she broke off the kiss Elizabeth leaned back and looked Peter over critically.
"Bedtime?" Elizabeth asked knowingly.
"That sounds glorious."
"Let's go."
Elizabeth took Peter's hand and lead him back inside. Satchmo didn't need an invitation and bolted back inside, not about to let his pack members out of sight again. Getting to the stairs with the half chewed banister Satchmo ran up the stairs and turned around at the top and wagged encouragingly. Looking up the full flight of stairs Peter suddenly wasn't sure he was going to make it up them. With his broken ribs still painful despite having been wired back in place he was still having trouble catching his breath at times.
"We can sleep down here." Elizabeth said when she noted his hesitation.
"No. I'm not sleeping on the floor ever again. I can make it."
Determined to get to his own bed Peter slowly made it up to the top of the stairs. Panting for breath but feeling accomplished Peter decided against a shower simple because he didn't think he had the energy for it. Now that he wasn't constantly on his guard his adrenaline wasn't keeping him going the way it had in the Labyrinth. Stepping into their bedroom Peter wasn't sure he'd ever seen a more inviting space. Tired herself Elizabeth was quick to start settling in. Peter undid the top button of the shirt Elizabeth had brought him for the trip home but then he froze.
"Peter? What's wrong?"
Peter glanced down nervously at his chest where his brand was hidden by the shirt. Elizabeth visibly tensed as she realized why he was hesitating. Stepping up to Peter it took her a moment to gather up her own courage but she reached out and unbuttoned his shirt the rest of the way. Pushing the fabric aside Elizabeth took her first real look at the white and pink brand over Peter's heart. She had always automatically turned her eyes away from it the few times it had been revealed in the hospital. Peter could see it was hard for her now to see the cruel mark but she seemed to want to try to adjust to it.
Helping Peter shrug the shirt off his shoulders Elizabeth looked over the damage that he had survived. She knew his body better than anyone and that meant the changes were all that more drastic to her. Beyond the stark weight loss she knew which scars should be there and which ones had been recently forced on him. The entire side of his chest around the bandaged surgical site was a deep angry purple. Elizabeth knit her brow as she finally recognized the two horseshoe patterned marks where Peter had been bit. Carefully touching his arm Elizabeth traced her fingertips down to his wrist that was heavily encircled in white bracelet scaring from the zip ties Jake used to wrap around them. Showing off more than his physical scars Peter jerked when a car out on the street revved its engine as it sped past. Tears streaked Elizabeth's cheeks but she still looked up at Peter with a brave smile.
"I can get the brand removed if you want." Peter offered.
"I'm not going to lie, I hate seeing the scars. But only because it hurts to see the aftermath of what you've been through. You don't need to remove the brand for me, you're still every bit the man I love."
Peter smiled and gave Elizabeth another affectionate kiss. Exhausted he didn't need a second invitation when Elizabeth nudged him towards the bed. Settling into bed Peter was quick to pull Elizabeth into his arms. Having gotten used to his place on the bed Satchmo jumped up and curled up against Peter's back. Usually he would have told the dog to get down but he found comfort in having some support at his back after months of sleeping back up against the concrete to cut down on the angles he could be attacked from. Comfortable and more content than he could ever remember being Peter found himself fighting to stay awake to enjoy the sensation of being home longer.
Ultimately failing to stay awake Peter slipped peacefully into a dreamless sleep. He would have easily slept through the night if the quiet of the room hadn't been torn open a few hours later by the ring of their telephone. Disoriented at first Peter gasped sharply and gripped down on Elizabeth when she tried to move to answer the phone thinking that she was Neal and that Jake was trying to take him away. The phone rang twice more and Elizabeth had to call his name before Peter was able to start figuring out his surroundings. Finding himself unwilling to release Elizabeth Peter just reached out over her and picked up the phone himself. Although still somewhat hazy as he brought the phone to his ear he was snapped wide awake at the sound of Mozzie's stressed voice.
"Peter? Neal is going to kill me for calling you but…"
"I'm on my way."
