My name is Dave Strider and it's about ten am when I'm pulled away from my deep sleep due to some unread messages on pesterchum. I sit up from my bed as my blanket falls to my lap. Rubbing my eyes I slowly adjust to the light coming into my room from the window. I feel bare not because I'm in nothing but my totally ironic fluttershy boxers but because my sensitive candy red eyes aren't covered by my classic pair of black aviators gifted to me by one of my best bros. To be honest I've felt a little more distance grow between the two of us lately and I can't really place it. I stand up from my bed, blanket falling to the edge of it spilling off as I yawn and stride over to my computer chair plopping down. I open up pesterchum to see a few unread messages from none the other John Egbert himself.
EB: dave.
EB: we need to talk.
EB: it's kind of important, there's some stuff i need to tell you.
My heart skips a beat at reading this.
TG: oh man this has got to be good
EB: it's serious ok! :B
TG: yea alright, shoot
EB: um.
EB: i kinda need to tell you in person.
TG: damn who died
EB: meet me at the park at like twelve ok?
TG: yea okay
ectoBiologist [EB] has ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] And just like that he logged off. I start to get a little anxious wondering what could be so important to have to tell me in person. It could be a number of things, I really wish he wouldn't leave it so cryptic like that.
To be honest I'm mildly irritated at his spontaneity with this considering he's been kind of ghosting me for the past few days and all of a sudden he springs this on me?
I get a whiff of myself and decide it would be a good use of that time allotted to take a shower. I get up and grab some clothes from my dresser snagging a towel that was hung on top of the door; I swing it over onto my right shoulder making my way down the hall to the bathroom. Just as I'm about to open the door to the bathroom Bro comes out with nothing but a towel around his waist. I take a moment to let my eyes linger as the water drips over his muscle toned stomach and shoulders, his hair wet and matted down, his piercing orange eyes looking right through me, I flush a little. I've always admired his looks and hoped to one day acquire the same build as him, I have abs and all but my arms aren't nearly as toned as his. I rarely get to see him without his iconic pollo, hat and shades. He snaps me out of my thoughts when he speaks.
"Mornin' kid." He says in his thick drawl as I move out of the way to let him exit the bathroom.
"Why ya up so early?" He says quickly, making his way out the doorway to walk past me.
"Meeting up with someone.'" I say quickly not giving too much detail.
Bro just kinda stares at me for a bit, he can probably tell there's a little more to it than just that. Bro can read me better than anyone but he doesn't usually call me out for it, he just leaves things be.
I shrug, not sure what to make of it. Bro nods at this and pats me on the back walking past me to his room. Bro's strong touch lingers on my shoulder for a moment and I make my way into the shower.
Confession time; my name is Dave Strider, I'm eighteen years old, I've had this dumb crush on John Egbert since I was thirteen carrying over me like a black raincloud. I am currently a few blocks from my apartment meeting up with him at the park we've played at since I met him when I was thirteen. I take a seat on one of the benches we usually meet up at, I find myself zoning out watching a few ducks waddling around a few feet from me.
"Hey Dave." I'm snapped out of it and met with baby blue eyes, I then get up to give him a respectable bro fist bump. We both sit down on the bench and John starts babbling.
"I'm sorry I made you come out here so suddenly like this." John admitted. He turns to me and gets right into it.
"First thing, I've come to terms that I like guys." A light blush creeps onto your cheeks. Wow, I can't believe I'm hearing this from the lord of 'No Homo'. I'm not surprised, I've always known, I have just been waiting for him to admit it to himself.
"I actually mostly came here today to tell you that I have a crush on someone you know." He's pulling at my heartstrings. Wow someone needs to pinch me, he has to be talking about me right?
"We just click ya know, like I can't explain it! There's just this intense connection between the two of us." I've been waiting so long to hear this from John I come to the conclusion quickly in my head of how it'd be so lame for John to come out to me first, so I decide to take a leap, one that's been in the works for too long.
"I actually have something to tell you too." I butt in. John looks up at me curiously.
"I want to be with you, like more than friends." I muster out with the last bit of courage I have. John's eyes go wide, he opens his mouth to say something and then shuts it, feeling dumbfounded. A little bit of an awkward silence starts to approach until John finally breaks it.
"I don't feel the same about you like that, Dave." And now here's the part where my soul is crushed. Fuck. I feel like I'm going to be sick, he continues to go on about the guy he likes and how he wants my advice on how to come out to him since I've been with a few guys and have more experience than him with this kind of stuff.
I'm half listening really, It's mostly white noise as my thoughts spiral in my head and I zone out from reality. It's like he has no regard for my feelings or how long this man has occupied my thoughts. How could he be so selfish. I literally get up mid conversation and walk home, I hear John yelling over my shoulder that I only care about myself and that's the last jab to the chest I can take before I just flash step home. I just can't do this right now.
I'm in my bedroom on pesterchum typing paragraphs on paragraphs on how fucked up what John did was but I find myself backspacing the whole thing and finally I'm met with some ultimate rejection that's had a long time coming. I've just went through some very uncool emotions and I need Bro cuddles. So I swallow my pride and log back onto pesterchum messaging Bro, even though he's literally in the other room.
TG: bro
BRO: Hmm.
TG: i got rejected
TG: so hard
TG: maximum strength rejection
BRO: Who'd you ask out again?
TG: not important
BRO: Super important.
BRO: Was it John?
TG: dammnit bro
TG: …
TG: yes
BRO: Man, why'd he reject you?
TG: im not even sure
TG: maybe im not his type, dunno
BRO: Lame.
TG: yea
TG: i know
TG: but i really liked him
TG: more lame for me than anything else
BRO: You want some bro cuddles to cheer you up?
TG: …
TG: yes
TG: can we watch my little pony
BRO: Sure.
I push away from my desk on my swivel chair leaving pesterchum open as I smoothly get up and leave the room proceeding to walk towards the living room to the futon. I then plop down next to Bro letting out a deep sigh.
"Shh." Bro quickly pulls me into a hug, petting my hair. This is a usual thing for me, some absolute bullshit will happen in life and Bro has and always will be there for a very unironic feelings sesh whenever necessary. He's my number one supporter and I like it that way.
I lean into it closing my eyes. "It sucks more because I really fucking thought I had a chance."
"Hey, you never know. He might come around." Bro says reassuringly.
"Whatever, I dont care anymore." I pout, reopening my eyes now staring ahead of me at nothing in particular.
"It's alright to be upset, li'l man."
"I think he likes that Karkat kid."
"Well, fuck those guys, then." Bro is probably the coolest most understanding guy I know. He always takes my feelings into account and is almost psychic when it comes to what I need and feel.
I sigh deeply and slowly break the hug to look into Bro's pointy shades. "Why can't there just be a guy thats like you, Bro? Hella cool, straight forward, not into trolls, as far as I know, just fuck." I trail off, obviously heartbroken.
"Not all of us can be perfect." Bro says, that cocky bastard.
I groan. "Yea but at least you don't lead people on."
"Not perfect, just...certain shit should be a given man."
"Right?"
"Yeah, I guess so." Bro cards his hands through my hair a bit.
"It'll be alright in the end, promise."
"You'll find somebody hella cool." Bro tries his best to be positive but my thoughts take a turn for the negative.
"Do you think its cus of my rhymes, I spew out some lame shit that comes to mind sometimes to let the flow go but I write better stuff." Bro stays silent for a bit letting me talk.
"Maybe.."
"I'm not attractive?"
"I mean, I think I'm pretty decent."
"But I don't know.."
"Maybe it's my ego.."
"I just-" Finally Bro cuts me off.
"Dave." He says sternly.
"Why am I not good enough?" I say with a hurt tone in my voice.
"Don't talk like that, alright?" Bro says sweetly.
"Nah, maybe it's me with the problem." I start to get a little riled up.
"Maybe I'm not funny enough."
"Or interesting enough."
"I don't watch rom coms." I say circling through self doubt and jealousy.
"You can maybe it to death, Dave." Bro starts to get a little heated at my self deprecating behavior.
"But honestly? I think John made a mistake."
"Oh yeah? How?" I say in deep annoyance not with Bro just the situation.
"What do you mean?"
"I'm just some weird kid with freakish eyes that fights with shitty katanas and writes lame raps." I'm being really hard on myself.
"That's it." I say finally.
"You write some pretty nice raps."
"Pft." I'm kind of being a brat.
"And you look great, man."
"You just say that cus' you're my bro, man." I really believe that. I find Bro very handsome but for him to see me as attractive? No way, if John doesn't then who would. That's my line of thinking right now at least. Yet, I decide to ease up a bit feeling bad for Bro.
"Look I'm sorry for laying all this shit on you." I sigh. Bro doesn't deserve all this heat. John does.
"It's kinda my job." Bro says kinda waving it off.
"But I just, it's just got my mind all fucked up." It does.
"Well then try not to think about it for a bit." Bro suggests.
"Just relax, Dave." He says in a soothing voice that chills my very soul.
You sigh. "I don't know if I can." But I do, even if it's just a little.
"Look, I'll put on the tv, we can lay down, and just take a nap or something." He suggests pulling a blanket from the back of the couch over the two of us.
I rub my temples and let out a deep sigh, my mind spiraling at John's cruel words.
"What?" Bro prys.
"Do you think I'm self absorbed?" I ask honestly.
"Not really, why?" Bro looked a little confused.
I shrug meekly not really wanting to say.
"Did someone say you are?" Bro asked with concern.
I shrug once again now biting my lip.
"John?" Bro pesters.
I just say silent. I don't need to say it.
"It was John." He pulls me into another tight embrace and it feels so nice, I feel my cheeks warm up, I love his embrace and to be honest this is probably the most attention I've gotten from Bro in a while and I start to revel in it.
"Bro do you think I'm attractive?" I can tell I kind of caught him off guard and break the hug to look at him.
"Yeah. Didn't I say that?" Bro says, not sure where I'm going with this.
"A general boyish handsome attractive or sexy?" I honestly want to know.
"Well, I'm your brother, I don't think I should really say you're sexy whether I think you are or not." I'm starting to like getting this kind of rise out of him.
"Cmon, bro to bro." I start to lean into him absentmindedly.
"I guess you're pretty sexy, yeah." Bro says with the slightest waiver in his voice, so slight no one else but I would of possibly noticed. But all of my problems start to melt away in hearing that from his mouth. I liked the way the words rolled off his lips and I especially liked that it was directed towards me. I feel a warm feeling in the pit of my stomach.
I start to gnaw at my lip lightly and stare at him deep in thought.
"What?" He's obviously trying his best to read me, it must freak him out a little not knowing what direction my thoughts are taking.
I look away, his gaze starting to feel too heavy to hold with my own. "N-nothing, man." But it certainly was not nothing.
"C'mon, what's on your mind?"
"Can't help if you don't tell me." He says innocently.
"Nah, I'm being dumb, ignore it, honestly.." I know he's not going to drop it.
He sighs poking me in the stomach to look at him.
"Hm?" You look into his shades.
"I'm sure people think you're attractive, dude. They'd be stupid not to." He says confidently.
"Thanks bro." I mutter.
"Is that not what's wrong?" I look at bro opening my mouth to say something but quickly stop myself in protest.
Bro shrugs and leans back on the couch, lacing his fingers behind his head. "Tell me when you're ready, I guess." He starts to ease up a bit. I decide to reach over and take Bro's shade's off, I fold them and put them neatly on the table doing the same with my own. I need shades off for this. He glances back towards me, raising an eyebrow. I stare into Bro's eyes studying the orange color I'm rarely graced with, feeling a bit intimidated now.
"What's up, kid?" I can read the puzzled emotion in his eyes, him wondering what I'm thinking.
"Alot." I admit.
"Well, you wanna talk about any of it?" He offers.
"Would your opinion of me, change?" He sits up and puts his hands in his lap looking at me.
"If what?" He asks obviously intrigued.
"If I told you what I was thinking."
"I doubt it." He says honestly.
"Bro, I think I'm attracted to you and it's freaking me out."
"Attracted as in … sexually?"
"Yea." I say very seriously not breaking eye contact.
Bro blinks a few times and smooths his hair back. "Wow, alright." I would be lying if I said this is the first time I've ever had these thoughts but with everything that happened today why not go for it.
My eyes travel down to Bro's lips a few times. "Y-yea."
"I don't, uh … Not sure what I'm supposed to say?" He's at a loss for words right now and I'm living for it.
I start to look down at my feet feeling kinda stupid as a few moments of silence passes by. "Me neither, man."
"But you could start with how you're feeling, seems fair." Trying to get a response from him.
"Well. Flattered? And I guess a little concerned."
I pull my legs up to my chest. "Mhm." I put my arms around my knees and put my face down not wanting to be seen. I'm feeling a little regret steep in.
Bro reaches out and places a hand on my shoulder gently.
I just sit there silently.
"I don't think any different of you, you know."
"Even if you did feel the same way, there's no way in hell you would ever even admit it right? Which you obviously don't, anyway. Why did I even bother, honestly." I say head up looking straight ahead of me.
"C'mon, how about we lay down." Bro offers.
"I'm not tired."
"Not the point."
I sigh.
"Please?" My heart skips a beat.
"Fuckyou" I say under my breath and lay down facing Bro. "Good enough?"
Bro lays down across the couch and pulls me onto his chest, loosely wrapping his arms around me.
I stiffen up at the contact. "Seriously, bro." I complain weakly.
"What? I'm not allowed to be affectionate?" Bro retorts.
"I don't even know how to respond to you." I'm not sure what he's thinking right now.
Bro runs a hand through my hair and shrugs. "You don't have to."
I relax a bit and decide that I may as well just go for it. "Bro."
"Hmm?"
"Can I kiss you?" I mutter.
" … I can't see how it would hurt." Bro slowly responds.
I move my head from Bro's chest and stare at Bro in shock for a moment, my heart racing. I hesitate a bit before running my fingers through Bro's hair, leaning in and locking lips with him. I trace my fingers down his strong jaw and I like this way more than I should.
Bro kisses back gently, but pulls away before I can get too into it.
I bite my lip and breathe heavily. "Again? p-please " I say a little too needily.
"I-I mean, I just don't want it to go too far or something."
"It's just kissing, Bro." I say innocently even though I want more.
Bro chews on his lip a little, looking conflicted.
I llick my lips and go half lidded. "Please."
"You get one." He compromises.
"Aw c'mon, I'll be a good boy, Bro." I pout a bit nudging bro.
Bro glances away, rubbing his face before agreeing. "Fine."
I smirk leaning back in pressing my lips against Bro's, nipping his bottom lip.
Bro moves his hand back into my hair, kissing me back rather hard.
I respond kissing back feverishly, wrapping an arm around Bro's neck to deepen the kiss.
Bro runs his free hand along my back idly and slides his tongue lightly over my lips.
My hand trails down to Bro's waist, I take Bro's tongue into my mouth, sucking it and rubbing my tongue along it, digging my nails into Bro's waist.
Bro starts sliding his hand into the back of my shirt, he lightly drags his fingernails across my back.
I arch my back, letting out a low moan into Bro's mouth, I kiss Bro, hard.
Bro pulls back and covers his slightly flushed face, taking a deep breath. "We should probably stop".
I pant lightly staring into Bro's eyes. "I said I would be good, I just, that turned me on." I don't care about anything right now except him.
"And that's why we should probably stop."
"Look, man, I can suppress, it, it's fine. I can stop myself ya know." I frown. "Or do you not trust yourself?"
"No comment."
"Hmph, you don't do you?"
"I don't wanna do something we'll both regret."
"That you'll regret, don't speak for me, Bro. I make my own decisions."
"Have you had sex before?" I scoff. I thought that he would know but maybe he was just being cautionary.
"Yeah." I say dryly.
"Remember my math tutor?"
"Sadly." He says in recollection.
"Yep, Brad and I."
"I guess there's slightly less for me to worry about, then …" Bro trails off.
I smirk. "Mhm."
"Don't gimme that look."
"Don't act like you don't like it"
"I ain't gonna encourage you."
I lean in close and whisper into Bro's ear. "encourage what?" I lick the shell of Bro's ear nipping down the lobe.
Bro breathes out a little shakily, flicking your shoulder lightly. "That."
"What you gonna turn me into your little attention whore?" I laugh lightly. "Fine." I start to suck on a patch of skin on Bro's neck biting down lightly running my hand down Bro's chest.
Bro hums quietly and tries to ignore me, biting the inside of his lip. "Not turnin' you into anything." He grumbles.
I pull back with a pop and kiss forming the mark "Then don't make me fight for your attention?" I pause for a moment and begin to slide off my shirt letting it drop to the floor.
"We're related, you know."
"No shit, related? News to my ears. Damn." I sit up next to Bro getting sick of his conflict. "Get up." I demand.
Bro gives you a look. "What the hell for?"
I roll my eyes. "Why the fuck not."
Done with his protest, he sits up, shrugging. "This good?"
I smile softly and get ontop of Bro's lap, fidgeting a bit to get comfortable. "Yea." I pull Bro's shirt up a bit looking him in the eyes.
Bro rolls his eyes and pushes my hand away, before pulling his shirt off over his head and tossing it aside. "Happy?"
I smirk and run my hand down Bro's firm chest feeling his tight muscles and scars from strifing, I make a pleased grunt enjoying myself.
"Does that mean you're done trying to give me hickeys?"
I roll my eyes. "Pft, I only gave you one."
*..and if you have a problem with it why don't you just repay the 'unfavorable' favor."
"Well obviously you'd like that too much."
"…fuck you"
"So I'm right."
"'No comment.'"
Bro shrugs and leans back against the couch. "I just don't wanna fuck up." He admits lowly.
"I mean I kind of already have." Bro rubs his temples.
"Fuck up?"
"How would you fuck up?"
"By fucking you, mostly."
"What if I want you to fuck me up?"
"I'm still a little leery, kid."
"Would it help if I called you by your real name, Dirk?"
"Not sure."
"It's really weird to hear from you."
"Aight. well maybe you should just, ya know, let go?"
"Relax."
"It's kind of illegal, Dave."
"Cus' I'll be sure to go on telling the police my brother and I had sex."
Bro sighs and shakes his head. "You're not gonna give up, are you?"
"Nope."
Bro shakes his head, he wipes a hand over his face. "Fine."
"No more holding back?"
"Yeah."
I hover over Bro's ear. "please fuck me." I bite down on Bro's neck lightly waiting for a response.
Bro moans quietly and grabs onto my hips, leaning in to bite harshly on my collarbone.
"F-fuck." I curse into Bro's ear.
Bro moves up and crushes our lips together, raking his fingernails along my hips.
I moaned into the kiss snaking my arms around Bro's neck, bucking my hips against his.
He bites my lip but pulls away momentarily.
"You sure you don't want me to hold back? I can be rough."
"Mutilate me." I say half lidded.
Bro leans forward again, starting to leave a trail of hickeys down my neck, accompanied by a trail of scratch marks down my side.
I arch my back, rolling my hips against Bro's in response, moaning lowly, scratching down his back.
Bro chuckles quietly and moves a hand to unbutton my pants, licking up my neck slowly.
I shiver reaching down, undoing Bro's pants in unison.
Bro pushes me sideways, down onto the couch, hovering over me and sliding a hand into my pants.
….
FIN
