"I'm telling you, I'm fine!" said Edna irate.
"I saw the blood," said Alphonse flatly.
Edna grimaced. She had a minor freak out yesterday morning over the fact she had blood in her underwear and had no idea why, on top of the rather hellish stomach cramps from the past two days. She had thought it was nerves, but now she was worried it might be something else.
Then Alphonse remembered a comment Winry had made while they were visiting about having cramps as well. Was it possible Edna was finally hitting puberty and having her first period?
Spotting Lieutenant Hawkeye, Alphonse made a beeline right for her. He was glad there wasn't anyone else around.
"Do you need something Alphonse?" asked Hawkeye, looking at the irate Edna.
Edna glared at her brother.
"I told you I'm fine!"
"Not if you're having your first period," snarked Alphonse.
Hawkeye's eyebrows shot up as she looked between Alphonse and Edna in disbelief.
"I was under the impression that the older one was a boy."
Edna sulked.
"Edna hates being looked down at because she's a girl," explained Alphonse. "So much so she insisted we call her Ed shortly after mom died...by this point everyone just assumes she is a boy."
A look of understanding crossed Riza's face. Considering how few women were in the military, Ed...or rather Edna...would face a lot less harassment pretending to be a boy until her secret was blown or she gained enough notoriety to compensate. And from the comment Alphonse made earlier, Riza had the suspicion no one had bothered to give Edna the Talk, or she hadn't stuck around long enough for them to do so.
She was not paid nearly enough to deal with this.
She mentally went over how to handle this, before she decided the best option was hiding the truth in plain sight. Besides, they still needed to get their official uniforms anyway and they would need a tour of the city.
On the plus side, she knew dealing with this would be a lot less headache inducing compared to Mustang's usual antics.
"Wait in the break room for a few minutes and then we'll deal with this," said Riza.
"Yes ma'am," said the siblings.
("I'm taking the afternoon off to show the Elric siblings where to order their uniforms. If you do not finish that pile on your desk by tomorrow morning I am using you for target practice," said Riza flatly.
To her satisfaction, Mustang wilted in his seat slightly from her glare alone.)
The discussion she had with Edna was rather mortifying for the teenager, but at least she wasn't freaking out anymore about the blood in her underwear or the cramping. Alphonse wisely stayed out of it, and vacated the area long enough for Riza to explain what was going on and how to handle it.
Edna had ducked into their temporary hotel room to change her clothes to further hide her identity. Gone was the coat, jacket and black ensemble (though she kept her boots since they were the only pair of shoes she had at the moment). In it's place was a bright red shirt with sleeves that went down to her elbows and had small V-neck. She swapped her pants for a skirt that went down to just above her knees, and hid her automail underneath some long while leggings that we just loose enough not to reveal her metal leg. She undid her usual braid, making sure to brush through her hair to avoid any tangles later and tied away her bangs using the hair tie behind her head. She also threw on the medium-sized bag she used to carry her usual alchemy supplies...it would serve well enough as a purse.
Riza had to admit, the way Edna looked when she took her hair out of the braid changed her features enough that it would be hard for most to recognize her, never mind the outfit. If she hadn't know that Edna was the same loud-mouthed blond kid Mustang had found in Resembool she never would have known it was her.
"If anyone from the office asks, I'm your cousin who's visiting from Xing," said Edna flatly.
Riza blinked.
"Why Xing?"
"Al and I spent a couple of years there. We would have stayed longer but my automail needed adjusted and I had a nasty limp because of it," said Edna with a shrug.
"Fair enough," said Riza.
Edna was never more happy that Riza was such a pragmatic woman. Winry power-shopped like a demon, but Riza's military mindset kept them at the basic minimum, even if she did concede to a few 'extras'.
(Riza wisely kept them from going to the bookstore. Her CO was an alchemist and if given the chance he would spend hours browsing, and she didn't have the patience or inclination for that.)
"Do you plan to tell Mustang about your gender?" asked Riza.
Edna looked at her incredulous.
"Are you really asking me if I trust a man I barely know about the fact I'm a girl when he's a known playboy? Besides, it'll be funnier to see his expression if he finds out the hard way once I start actually developing as a girl and this way you can have a camera ready for the blackmail since you've known longer," said Edna.
Riza smirked. It would be a bit of amusement if Mustang found out the hard way that Fullmetal was actually a woman.
"Are you two nervous? This is your first official undercover assignment," asked Maes.
Considering the sibling's age, undercover was their best bet when investigating new areas. No one would suspect two teenagers under the age of sixteen to be undercover State Alchemists tracking down rumors and possible illegal research.
Edna grinned.
"Would you like to see a test run before we leave? Even though I know you sent two 'minders' just in case," said Edna.
"Yes," said Maes.
Knowing they wouldn't accidentally blow their cover would do a lot to ease his mind, actually.
"How about a practice run, since our train doesn't actually leave in two days? You can have the investigative team come up with a mock rumor about illegal research, like say 'human experimentation in Lab 5' or something, and if we can get most of the facts to spark an official investigation then you'll at least know what we're doing. If not, then send extra minders," said Edna.
Maes blinked, before a grin crossed his face. That sounded like the perfect test for two Investigative Alchemist and he could get a few of his friends in his department to set up the 'contacts' that had the rumors that would lead them to lab five, even if they didn't actually go there because it was a test.
Maes started making calls, and soon had five volunteers...each of them had the same information, but were allowed to come up with the same spin so long it fit the general profile of the "suspicious rumor" the siblings were to investigate, which was "illegal experimentation in Lab 5 using human subjects".
He made sure the bar was military run and that the proprietor knew about the test beforehand, even going so far as to claim it was a 'training run', which meant the volunteers would have their drinks compensated.
(Which had a few men complaining about not volunteering sooner after the test, when that particular tidbit was shared. After all, what military man would say no to free booze?)
In the bar...
Maes was disguised in civilian clothing with his wife, enjoying a bite to eat since it was technically free. Gracia humored him because he had told her the purpose of the test and he wanted to see first hand how well Ed and his brother did.
The first clue he had that the Elrics were there was when his ears caught the words "lab five".
A rather young man was near the bar, ordering non-alcoholic drinks on the grounds that his playing would be terrible if he had anything outside water or tea. In his hands was a well loved violin and bow. Next to him was a rather pretty girl with mid-length blond hair and light brown eyes that almost looked like gold.
She was wearing a red dress with black buckle, and it swished this way and that whenever she moved. Her hair was lightly braided, mostly to keep it out of her face and was clean. He suspected she might be a knife fighter from the callouses on her hands...he had ones just like it.
Maes carefully listened as the young man offered to play something light and fun, while the girl provided the entertainment with a bit of dancing.
Some of the tables were carefully cleared out, leaving a space for the girl and a chair provided for the young man, who cheerfully put his violin to work providing the music.
Gracia certainly appreciated the music and was clapping her hands along.
In between sets, the young woman would ply the volunteers he had set up about certain rumors she had overheard. Considering they were being chatted up by a pretty girl and their tongues loosened by the drinks she was buying them, it didn't take much for them to spill the same general story.
That there was suspicious activity in Lab five and that rumors had it that people had gone missing recently in the vicinity, but since it was controlled by the military the local police couldn't investigate directly without permission.
Maes still couldn't find either of the Elrics, and he had been checking repeatedly every five minutes.
So you could imagine his complete shock when the girl who had danced walked right up to him and dropped a familiar notepad on his table.
"Who was it that said we couldn't do undercover work?" said Edna smugly.
Maes stared at the notepad, then at her in absolute shock before he actually looked at her face properly and made the connection.
"Ed?" he said in disbelief.
"Actually, her real name is Edna. She just hates being looked down upon for being a girl," said the violinist...who turned out to be Alphonse.
Maes was stunned.
"I thought you said that the Elrics were a pair of brothers?" asked Gracia.
Edna smirked.
"Like anyone would be able to tell the difference between a boy or a girl who prefers boy's clothing when puberty hadn't fully hit," she said smugly. "So did we pass?"
Maes had a headache, but looked through the notepad Edna had been discreetly writing in while chatting up the volunteers.
"I can't believe I'm saying this...but you were more successful at getting information than some of my senior investigators."
He never suspected she was a State Alchemist at all, let alone investigating a fake rumor they had created as a test.
Edna and Alphonse gave each other a high-five.
"I'd like to meet a man who doesn't talk too much in front of a pretty girl, especially when beer is involved," said Edna smugly.
Maes snorted at that. She had his men talking too much in order to impress her with their jobs on top of the free beer and had the rumor out in less than an hour. Plus everyone "knew" that the Elrics were a pair of brothers, not an older sister and her younger brother.
"So what should I call you?" asked Maes cheerfully, most of his worries put at ease knowing the Elrics did know how to go undercover better than some of his long-term operatives.
"Edna," she replied. "But only when my hair is down, otherwise stick to Ed. Besides at least this way you'll get blackmail you can use on the Colonel for years because I sincerely doubt he's even aware of the fact I'm a girl."
Maes brightened up evilly at that. She was probably right, because even her file stated that "Fullmetal", aka "Ed Elric" was a boy. This would likely prove hilarious if and when it came out.
"So who else knows?"
"Just Lieutenant Hawkeye. Someone, who shall remain partially nameless, had a minor freak out when puberty finally started kicking in for me," said Edna.
The glare at her brother said volumes who it was.
Maes snorted...and made a note to send Hawkeye a bottle of her favorite booze. She likely needed it after that headache.
Two weeks later, Edna and her brother came back with their first official report.
The "suspicious activity" they had been sent to investigate resolved itself in a way...namely in that the main culprit had bitten off more than he could chew and had killed himself, but not before taking out five local girls for his experiments. Apparently he was trying to bring back his lost love...who turned out to have survived the crash she supposedly died in and had simply lost her memories. The poor woman was understandably distraught learning her old friend had fallen so far trying to get her back, rather than look for her body.
Depressing, but then again they were supposed to keep an eye out for such things and report it. Edna made very sure to erase some of the circle she sent back, leaving out a few parts so none of the researchers would their hands on it.
Failed or not, she didn't want that hanging over her head.
"Well done... you two seem to have a knack for this sort of work," said Mustang.
"I will never understand why he went so far as to use dolls in order to tempt her back when the array was all wrong for it," said Edna shaking her head.
Even before she did a few...minor...alterations, she could tell the circle wasn't going to work.
Mustang silently looked over the photo of the array in question and agreed that the circle wasn't worth using...even if he did see the minor alterations Fullmetal performed before handing taking the picture.
"So...how does it feel to go on your first official assignment?" smirked Mustang.
Edna pulled a face.
"I would have liked it better if the adults didn't talk over us despite the watches," said Edna.
That had ended rather quick once the minders informed the police that "Yes, the two kids who reported the crime were legitimate State Alchemists and actually outranked them, but operated on short-term undercover basis only."
Even Alphonse had been annoyed.
"Well the good news is that your report and the reports of the two minders we sent have at least given you some credibility with the higher ups as 'Special Investigators'," said Mustang cheerfully.
Specifically the fact that Edna and Alphonse had located the potential troublemaker within the first ten hours of entering the town, and that was without Edna acting as her actual gender.
The civilians bought the cover story that the two were a pair of 'fledgling alchemist siblings' and were more than happy to direct them to the town's lone alchemist. It had taken them all of three days to find out what he was doing and put a stop to it.
"Since you did such a good job, and because it's about that time of year again, command wants you to check on the Youswell coal mine," said Mustang.
Edna snorted.
"I wonder if they got rid of that idiot Yoki yet. I know Halling and his friends were more than happy to beat the shit out of his goon squad," she commented.
Mustang paused.
"How did you know the former military officer in charge of the town was recently discharged for blatant corruption and bribery? Or the name of the main point of contact?" he asked suspiciously.
"Ed and I passed through the town, saw how bad things were because Yoki was bleeding it dry, and tricked him into signing over the deeds which we then gave to Halling in order to pay for our stay at his wife's inn since they were overcharging potential customers in an attempt to make ends meet," said Alphonse.
"Yeah, we took the train from there to Rush Valley in order to meet up with Winry since I needed my leg looked at," agreed Edna.
Mustang stared at them.
"Do I want to know what you did to trick that idiot?"
"Do the words 'plausible deniability' mean anything in your language?" Edna shot back.
"That would be a no then. Just double check the mine is still good and come back," said Mustang.
"No minders this time right?" asked Alphonse.
"Since they clearly know you two already and you've done them a huge favor, no," said Mustang.
Aside from the ribbing they got for becoming State Alchemists, Edna and Alphonse were more than happy to report that the mine was still good and that the miners were at least cooperative...so long as Central didn't send anyone like Yoki to try and bleed them dry again.
