Chapter 6


"If I know what love is, it is becuase of you." - Hermann Hesse


Kristoff left pretty quickly.

Which is completely understandable when you think about it. His desire to make fun of me couldn't compare to his disgust with us. I had closed my eyes almost the second I woke up. I wasn't going back to sleep, but I definitely didn't want to be looking at Kristoff; plus, I needed to focus. I had to perfect this memory, catalog every sensation, and make sure I tucked it away so deeply in my brain that even severe head trauma couldn't take it from me. It was only a couple of seconds later that I heard him grumble, his bare feet slapping away toward the bathroom; another minute went by and the shower came on.

Nice.

Knowing Kristoff was actually in a separate room instantly intensified Elsa's presence, which coincidentally is exactly what I wanted. It also meant that I could be a full-fledged pervert and revel in this moment in privacy.

Which is exactly what I did.

God, I could feel every inch of her. I had never in my life been so physically close to another person, and if I could ever regain my coherence after this experience I would thank every deity in the universe that it was Elsa.

Elsa's warm exhales sliding over the back of my neck, Elsa's skin pressed against my own, Elsa's weight pinning me to the mattress. I shivered, trying with every ounce of my strength to stay still, but it was almost impossible. I was understandably twitchy; every breath from her, every rise and fall of her chest against my back was driving me absolutely insane.

How could the world be cruel enough that our positions were not reversed? How could I possibly lay here and with her scent surrounding me and her skin on mine and not be able to fucking touch her? She mumbled something in her sleep and gripped me harder, scooting forward a little to press her nose into my hair. I shivered violently. I couldn't fucking take this. I had to move; if I didn't get away from her I felt I might literally pass out. My fingers felt hyper-sensitive, and I was overwhelmed by the smell of vanilla and mint. I wiggled a little to loosen her grasp and got about two inches of space between us. Her hand was on my skin now, her pinky resting on the bare space between my shirt and shorts.

Oh my god, you have to move.

My face was flaming red and my stomach flipped somewhere between nausea and butterflies. It was a problem; I could recognize that it was a problem. I tried to shift my leg carefully, half of it still beneath hers. Elsa grumbled a little louder, and her arm tugged against my waist.

"Stoooop." She moaned against the pillow behind me. The sound of it had my ears burning red.

"Els?" My voice sounded scratchy and hoarse. I felt Elsa's fingers twitch against my stomach, tighten. My muscles shook and jumped. "Y-You okay?"

"Stop moving," She grumbled and I only barely stopped myself from answering "Yes, ma'am."

Her voice was muffled, like she had shoved her face into the pillow.

I laughed in an effort to cover my how intensely turned on I was, and also because it gave me a second to get a handle on myself before I tried to speak. "Cool it, grump. One of us has to get up and be productive."

She growled. "Not you. Let someone else do stuff." She paused and then flexed her hand against my stomach again, deliberately. "Where are you going, anyway?"

Her voice was low and raspy, sending tingles down my spine. It was obvious she wasn't fully awake yet; her sleepy confusion and blatant affection evidence enough. I needed more space between us. If she touched me anymore I couldn't be held responsible for my actions.

I cleared my throat, but my voice still broke on the way out. "If we leave things up to Kris we'll all starve."

I heard her breathing stall. "Kristoff. Where is he?" Her voice rose in concern, some of the sleepiness leaving it.

My instinct to soothe was immediate, and I thoughtlessly ran my fingers over her wrist where it fell across my stomach. "He's fine. I heard him in the shower."

There was a long pause.

I felt the energy in the room change. Elsa didn't seem sleepy anymore.

I waited for the blow to come. For her to pull her hand way, to retreat inward and become cold and distant. I expected the fear and the silence and disappointment. I'd had years with Elsa; I knew her triggers, and one of them was undoubtedly this.

She didn't pull away, or freeze up or fall silent. She didn't do any of the things I thought that she would.

Instead her arm snaked upward and abruptly tugged me back against her, ruining all my progress in a second. It was a quick move, unprecedented in its strength and I couldn't stop a squeak of surprise from escaping when our bodies made contact. She held me tightly against her and turned her face inward, toward my neck.

"Mmmm," She hummed and I could feel it against my skin. "I like your hair down. Even in the morning when it looks crazy."

My heart was beating so fast I felt like it might give out at any second. I couldn't deal with her flirting with me right now; I was already too keyed up. My strength of will had been zapped. She didn't understand my lack of impulse control when it came to her; she was always pushing it just by existing, but this was unreasonable.

"I like y-your hair. All the time." My voice cracked and I cleared it roughly. "I-I could start wearing mine down."

She laughed quietly and tugged on the ends of my rat's nest in a pesky kind of way. "No, no, no. Keep the braids, they're precious."

I blushed and Elsa laughed again, poking at the back of my neck with her free hand. "You're so easy."

"You're so hot."

It came out in a stronger voice than anything I had said all morning, making it that much worse that I had absolutely not meant to say it. I quickly slapped my hands over my face in embarrassment.

"Just kill me." I muttered into my hands. "If any god out there can hear me just pull the trigger."

Elsa reached up to tug at my wrists, huffing when they stayed strong. I refused to release my grip, even when she began to poke at my ribs in an attempt to sabotage me.

I could've never prepared myself for what happened next.

I felt her shift, move up a little, and then her mouth was grazing the skin of my neck, right beneath my ear. "You think I'm hot?"

I froze. Every single muscle in my body tensed up, tight as a spring. Fire exploded in my stomach, racing down my legs and I felt them tremble. This couldn't be happening. I was still asleep. This was an incredibly vivid dream; it was the only explanation.

Don't wake up for god's sake! Don't overthink it!

Elsa slid her hand down slowly until it was on my hip. "You should see yourself right now."

A nearly painful flash of heat hit me in the lower stomach. I had no idea what was going on. Had I somehow ingested hallucinatory drugs? Had Elsa not recovered from her severe sleep deprivation? Had the trauma from her crazy head injury a week ago finally caught up with her? And to make matters worse I was far, far too aroused to put enough brain power into understanding how to respond in any kind of articulate way. I only knew I wanted to kiss her. Like painfully wanted to kiss her; it felt like my skin might explode if I didn't get to. I could feel her mouth on my skin and I could imagine how soft her lips would be on mine, what they might taste like.

"Actually all the time. You're so hot. All the time." Elsa's voice continued in the same heated, relaxed tone, like she had never been more content.

What. Is. Happening.

I didn't know how to react, didn't know how to deal with her saying these things to me. "You know I've been thinking lately…"

And her hand trailed up from my hip to the bottom of my ribs. She rubbed light lines against where they pushed out from my skin. I couldn't breathe, or rather I couldn't get enough air; the breaths ripped in and out of my lungs at an alarming rate.

"Well, you could say I've been… struggling… with something. For a long time. But recently -" Her hand moved back down so her fingers could trace across the top of my shorts. I shook all over. Elsa acted as if she didn't notice. "I've gotten tired of arguing with myself, you know?"

"Uh…" I responded, quite impressed I was able to even manage a noise. I was embarrassingly light headed.

"You're too cute." She sounded regretful, like this was a personal fault of mine. She shifted to run her fingers along my shoulder. I felt like I was having an asthma attack. "I have to get away from you. Or wake up more."

"O-Okay."

Yet, she didn't move, didn't stop tracing her fingers over my skin. I stayed as still as possible and let her do whatever she wanted, as long as she kept touching me. It occurred to me that something might be permanently wrong with my brain at this point. I seemed to have lost the capacity for higher cognitive thought. The only things I could manage were basic impulses and instincts. Everything in my body was focused on a single goal: Keeping Elsa's skin on mine. The fuzziness of my confusion was easy to tuck away in the moment. My aunt always said you should wait to question blessings until after you enjoy them a bit.

Elsa paused in her patterns for a minute, and her voice was soft and thoughtful when she spoke. "Look at me, please?"

It was a question, but also not one, and there was no way I could've denied her anyway, especially not when she sounded like that.

I rolled to face her and realized that the full effect of her presence had not yet hit me because I hadn't been looking at her. When we were facing, so close it would take no effort at all to kiss her, she stole my breath utterly.

God, her eyes were so pretty. I couldn't believe I hadn't been looking at her this whole time, it seemed totally unfair. I went to tell her as much, and then I realized she had been talking and I hadn't even realized.

"-just if I ever go too far or anything. The last thing I want to do is-is make you uncomfortable… I just need you to communicate to me if anything's ever... wrong or if I've done something - sometimes you're so much more difficult for me to read than usual and I know how I feel, but I don't want to- I don't know, guilt you into anything or-"

"Els." I poked at her cheek to get her to stop. She was too sweet; she could never look right at me when she tried to do things like this. She faked it really well, but I remembered her trick in our Oral Comm class for speeches. She would just stare at people's eyebrows and count on them not being able to tell the difference; I just knew what to look for. "You know me; I can't get enough of you."

I grinned and her face went pink. "Well, yea, um- I just needed to be sure-."

At that moment, I completely lost control of myself.

Elsa was too much for me to handle, in every sense and circumstance. Often it was merely her physical presence that drove me insane; the flirtation and suggestive language just an added layer of torture. But I was prepared for that situation, prepared for Elsa to be confident and sexy because that was Elsa. Or at least, that had been Elsa recently, since I had been reunited with the twins. I had unconsciously put my defenses up for that Elsa; I had prepared myself only to be seduced.

The Elsa in front of me now was more reminiscent of my high school Elsa. Sweeter and a little more unsure of herself. Her cheeks were bright pink and the hair that she had tucked behind her ear had fallen forward onto her cheek and she was biting the corner of her lip and I was fifteen again; sitting outside the principal's office not giving a damn that I was about to be in serious trouble.

I slammed my lips into hers with a painful bump.

Like, it was way, way too hard; my lip was probably going to be swollen.

"Jesus, fuck, I'm so sorry-" I pulled back immediately. Or that is, I tried to, before finding that Elsa's fingers were like steel against the back of my neck and her pupils had expanded so suddenly her eyes looked almost black.

Before I could breathe her lips were back on mine and I felt an alarming electricity zing through my veins like fire. Fierce heat shot from my chest to my limbs, burning my fingertips; my vision tinted red. For a second I felt almost scared.

And then Elsa's fucking tongue ran across my bottom lip and something in my head snapped like a twig, the consuming, burning heat calming to a hot buzz of arousal in my stomach.

I tangled my hands in her hair and opened my mouth for her, and - jesus - she didn't disappoint.

Oh my god, oh my fucking god, no fucking way-

Elsa was kissing me.

Elsa was kissing me.

Elsa was kissing me.

Elsa was… like, really kissing me.

Her tongue licked into my mouth with unexpected expertise, and I briefly wondered how she had gotten so smooth at it before I lost all brain function under her ministrations. She was not being shy; if anything her wandering hands and tight grip spoke of impatience. There was a certain blatant desperation in her movements that was so ridiculously attractive I found myself sharing in it immediately. Her fingers fluttered over my skin in a frenzy, like she didn't know where she wanted to rest them. One second she was pressing on my neck, my jaw, with deliberate force as if to verify their size and shape. Then, floating down lightly to trace against my rib cage, over my stomach in a reverent way.

I couldn't keep up with her; I was completely overwhelmed. My fingers had been buried in her hair from the first second, but only now did I remember they even existed. I pressed against her, trying to pull her mouth closer to mine. Her lips were so soft and the taste of mint was addictive. She grinned in response - I could feel it against my mouth - and then her teeth clamped carefully onto my bottom lip.

I did not see it coming.

Therefore I could do nothing to stop the full out whine that left me.

I also did not expect Elsa's reaction to my reaction.

She growled and her fingers locked tightly onto my hips. I found myself oddly hoping that they'd leave bruises, before she yanked me forward against her waist and I couldn't breathe.

My hands fisted in the hair at the base of her skull in an effort to keep her mouth on mine and I forgot to keep my grip gentle.

Elsa didn't seem to mind too much.

She trembled from head to foot, and abruptly pushed me against the mattress, rolling in a single motion until she hovered over me. I had a second to marvel at her grace and then her lips were back on mine and nothing existed except Elsa.

I had dreamed about this. Countless times. Fantasized about much, much less than this. I had thought about Elsa's mouth, her skin, her long, thin fingers, her hips and her legs, far more often than I was willing to admit. A small part of me had wondered for a long time if I might have idealized her in my mind, so intense and unshakeable was my attraction. If I might be disappointed by her if the situation where we were together were to ever arise.

I had no idea how wrong I was.

She felt right against me, like I had just been waiting all this time for her to be there. I felt grounded and present in a way that I rarely achieved. Every brush of her skin on mine, every exhale against my mouth intoxicated me. I needed more of her with each passing second, to keep my newfound sanity. My hands slipped down to pull against her shoulders in desperation, and Elsa slipped one of her legs between mine.

I groaned in a low, embarrassing way, but I couldn't bring myself to care. It was all I could do to keep myself from shifting down to openly grind against her. One of my legs hooked up and over her hip without my permission, but I found I wasn't upset about it. The new space allowed Elsa to shift closer and she did eagerly. Her hand gripped the back of my thigh, dangerously close to my ass, before sliding down to rest behind my knee and tug me more securely around her.

My hips rocked upward without my consent, grinding against Elsa's waist.

"Fuck." She cursed breathlessly and my eyes opened for the first time since she'd kissed me.

She hovered a few inches over me, some of her hair dangling down to frame her face. Her eyes were huge and glassy and a little wild looking. She wasn't staring at my face, more somewhere close to my chest. I heard her exhales shake on the way out, and the flush on her cheeks and down her neck was such a delicate, pretty pink it almost made me want to cry. I also realized suddenly that I sort of recognized the look on her face. A kind of excited starvation, like she could never be fully satisfied but she was willing to try. I'd seen her wear the ghost of that expression before, several times in fact, all while she was looking at me. It hadn't made sense to me before, just one of the countless things about her that confused me, but the realization was almost more than I could take.

I leaned up to reattach myself to her. Even half a second without contact was torture. I tugged at the back of her neck to stabilize myself and kissed her again, trying with with all my conviction to convey to how badly I wanted her. I needed her to understand; I had to communicate the way I was feeling, so that she would understand the cruelty of making me wait.

She growled low in her throat and gripped my hips, pinning me back down against the mattress; her lips left mine and moved to my throat. I felt her teeth press against my skin in a large grin.

"I've thought about this - you have no idea how many times. Thought about you - like this. With me. I've been waiting so long."

"I- fuck-" There was no response I could've offered; I was shocked Elsa still had enough control to even speak. Her voice set my nerve endings on fire. She sounded excited, out of breath, like a kid who sprinted all the way to the christmas tree. Nevermind the revelation that she had apparently thought about this kind of situation often, like I had, but she was ecstatic at the opportunity to tell me, like she had been dying to say it.

I was losing myself. My breathing was erratic and I could feel the burning heat from my cheeks like fire. I knew that my hands were still in her hair, gripping too tightly. I made a conscious effort to relax my hold, trying desperately to regain a fraction of my control.

Then Elsa's teeth nipped quickly beneath my jaw and I yelped. Too loudly.

She placed her finger softly against my lips to hold them together, but didn't move her mouth. I shook violently when I felt her tongue against the spot her teeth had been, but managed to keep silent. I thought I heard her laugh a little while she kissed her way toward my collarbone.

She reached the dip of my shoulder and bit down, harder than before. I broke.

"Elsa." I whined against her finger; I was almost embarrassed at the sound of my voice, how weak and high it was. One of my hands clawed down her back, roughly enough that I was still grateful for her shirt. Barely. The other tugged at her shoulder to pull her closer.

Elsa trembled against me.

"God-" Her voice broke, and then lowered, hardened. "Say my name again."

And then a loud slam brought me crashing back into the present, into the Box, where Kristoff was strolling out of the bathroom toward us, his hands furiously rubbing a towel over his hair.

Wait, what?

Before I could blink Elsa was off me.

Her arm snaked back around my waist and she scooted smoothly up behind me, whispering, "Shhh…" against my ear. I could feel her chest heaving for air, her fingers trembling where they rested on my wrist. She was making very little contact with me now, and I couldn't understand why.

What… just happened?

I felt very much like I was underwater; confused, disoriented and unable to get my breath. I missed Elsa's skin, her weight; I felt too floaty without it, like there was nothing holding me to Earth's surface.

Elsa and I… We were just…

How had this happened? How had we possibly gotten here all of a sudden? Kristoff had literally just walked out of the room maybe thirty minutes ago. Something so earth-shattering couldn't have possibly happened within the span of his shower. How could Kristoff possibly even still exist on this earth? I felt so incredibly distant from the real world that the thought of him being in the same room as me was almost laughable.

Wait, he's actually coming over here.

I felt an immediate flash of panic at the sound of his approaching footsteps.

I could feel my hair sticking out on all sides; I was flushed and shaky. My shirt had been pushed up to the bottom of my ribcage and my lips felt swollen and bruised. On top of that, the vast majority of my brain was either in an inactive state of complete shock or thinking about Elsa and remembering her taste and wondering why she wasn't touching me anymore-

Focus, Hart!

I turned blindly to Elsa for help; there was nothing at all I could do to calm myself, and especially not enough that I could convince Kristoff. He was a few feet from the bed; he hadn't looked up yet. She took in my frenzied state with alarm, before inspiration lit up her face and then the blankets were thrown over my head.

It was a combination of surprise and lingering arousal that kept me from laughing immediately at the ridiculousness of it.

"Hey, Kris!" I cringed a little at Elsa's voice; it was uncharacteristically cheery. I felt her fingers twitch on my wrist in anxiety. "Anna fell back asleep, and now I'm awake. Can you believe her?"

There was a pause. I truly couldn't believe something so dumb had just come out of her mouth. My expectation was for Elsa to cover for us in any circumstance, never doubting her skill. I held my breath, waiting for him to accuse her of… whatever had just happened. Then he cleared his throat in an awkward kind of way.

"Um… No, that's pretty crazy."

I breathed a quiet sigh of relief. Kristoff sounded much more confused than suspicious.

Elsa's squeezed my wrist in triumph and something about it made me split into a satisfied grin. Elsa was a great liar, and the fact that she was too flustered to even manage a fib to Kristoff was enough to swell my head to the size of a blimp.

Just for the fun of it I shifted my hand between us and ran my finger lightly down the front of her thigh. She jerked sharply and I was feeling pretty good until she dug her nails into my arm and I had to bite my lip to stop from cursing in pain. I pinched her in retaliation and she promptly flung herself away from me to the far side of the bed. I heard her start to shift out from under the blankets and immediately felt lonely.

"Oh, my shirt." Her arm reached under the blankets and over me, snagging her flannel and brushing my arm in a thoughtful, deliberate way. My heart clenched in my chest.

She cleared her throat. "I, um, was just about to start breakfast. Come on, I need you to help me with… whisking."

Kristoff laughed in bewilderment, even while I heard her leading him away toward the kitchen. "Since when do you need my help with anything, weirdo?"

"Just come on." Elsa snapped, and, knowing they were far enough away, I jerked my hands up and smashed them both over my mouth to keep from laughing out loud.


Sorry if it's bad.