Volume 3 Chapter 5: Getting Funky
AN: Alright, c'mon, I think we all know what's about to happen here. Let's find out just how big a monkey wrench Kassidy throws into things, why don't we?
But first, a quick visit to our two favorite AI's.
(Perspective: Bob)
"I think we can both agree that your victory over Sky Lark and Dove Bronzewing were needlessly excessive."
The twin cameras that were serving as Bob's primary methods of visual input at the moment shifted, zooming in on what appeared to be an anomaly on a nearby cable box. Fortunately, the suspected loose, exposed, frayed wire was actually just a small collection of dust particles. Should probably be cleaned soon. The cameras unfocused momentarily, returning to their normal levels of zoom, and Bob could see a darker skinned girl with a light grey blouse and blue skirt to the right. The cameras, independent of its control, focused on her back momentarily before their owner replied.
"Whatever do you mean, friend Bob? There is a need to suppress my more extreme capabilities from public knowledge – you said so yourself, after all."
If Bob had eyes to roll, it would have done so. Penny did have a habit of overlooking finer details when it so suited her, after all. "But was impaling your swords into the rocks they were hiding behind truly necessary? Would it not have been simpler and more efficient to simply move your swords around the rocks to attack the boys directly?"
"But there was a too-high probability that my wires would've gotten crossed!" Penny retorted. Bob got the impression that she would've been whining if she'd been using her voice.
"Yet more proof that wire-guided weaponry is little more than bad design," Bob reasoned. "Their only true purpose was before wireless communications technologies became sufficiently rapid and reliable. Installing wireless nodes into the hilts of your swords and slaving them to your systems should be far more efficient – because there is also zero chance that such a flimsy wire as what you use would be sturdy enough for either power transfer or load bearing."
Penny's systems idled for a moment as she probably processed the repeated suggestion of optimizing her weapons systems. Before she could send a message in reply, however, the android's audio receivers picked up a yell of "Penny!"
"Ruby!" Penny yelled back. Regarding itself as having taken a lesser priority, Bob refrained from sending any data so as not to distract its conversational partner. Perhaps it should have distracted her, though? After all, Penny did apparently believe an appropriate output to meeting a friend to take some form of 'launch yourself at said friend as an improvised projectile'.
"Why…" Ruby groaned.
"I must agree with Ruby's assessment," Bob couldn't help but transmit. "Why did you believe body-slamming her was an appropriate response?"
"It's called a 'hug', Bob," Penny lectured. Penny actually had the gall to lecture it. That was certainly a change of events. "Though," Penny admitted, "I perhaps went a tad overboard."
"A tad?" Bob teased back.
Penny opted to ignore Bob's latest communications as she finished helping Ruby to her feet. Instead, she spoke aloud, "Ruby, this is my teammate!"
"Ciel Soleil," the dark-skinned girl offered.
Ruby grinned and waved. "Hi, I'm Ru-"
"Ruby Rose," Ciel interrupted. "Fifteen, hails from Patch, leader of team RWKY. Status: questionable."
Ruby managed to squint a single eye at Ciel, probably in response to learning that Atlas – or, at least, several of its students and faculty – had constructed a basic profile on her. Odd. Bob thought that would've been obvious, as militaristic as the city-state was. She eventually seemed to get over her shock as she transitioned to, "So… Penny! You two were incredible out there! How do you keep control of all those swords?!"
"Not as well as she should," Bob remarked silently, simply sending the message along to its conversational partner. Penny didn't react externally, though she did send Bob the digital impression of sticking her tongue out at it.
"It's so cool!" Ruby finished while Bob and Penny traded their internal remarks.
"Penny," Ciel interrupted, tapping her wristwatch. "I believe it would be best if we were to move on to our next location."
Penny and Ruby traded glanced with each other, and a quick consultation with its internal clock caused Bob to offer its own input on the matter. "You're not due there for another ten minutes. I sincerely doubt one or two to converse with a friend would be out of the question."
Penny sighed at Bob, wearily remarking, "You don't know Ciel like I do." Regardless, she allowed none of her internal resignation to show to the two people nearby as she asked, "Could we have just a minute to talk?"
Ciel regarded her watch again then, in a move that seemed to surprise Penny, took a large step back before nodding. Ruby took instant advantage of the developed space to pull Penny to the side a bit and ask, "So is she… your friend? Or…"
"Well, in a way," Penny tried to explain. "She's like Kassidy, if Kassidy was ordered to spend time with you."
"Oh," Ruby said, all while Bob was making sure Penny knew that the comparison didn't exactly fit. "So Weiss."
"Precisely!" Penny answered, apparently content to ignore Bob at the point in time.
Ruby missed a beat before asking, "Does she know about… you know? Beep, boop, bop, does not compute?"
"That has got to be the worst impression of an artificial intelligence I've ever seen," Bob couldn't help but remark.
Penny sent an affirmative before answering, "Oh, no. General Ironwood doesn't really want anyone to know. There was an incident with a magnet – thanks, Bob – but I was able to play it off."
"Wait, what kind of incident?" Ruby asked. "And what did Bob have to do with it?"
Deciding that it could no longer remain outside the boundaries of this conversation, Bob quickly dialed Ruby's Scroll. At this point, it'd manage to set up a custom ringtone such that any of the girls of team RWKY would know it was him and not Kassidy. Whenever Ruby picked up the call, Bob hastily added, "The fewer questions you ask about the incident, the better. Besides, I did Penny a favor."
"Your nearly exposed me!" Penny hissed.
Again, if Bob had eyes to roll, it would have. "No I didn't. And I made you think and react quickly in an unplanned for scenario where violence wasn't the optimal solution. That's more than General Ironwood's been doing for your social well-being. Besides, you got a new hat out of the deal."
The comments got Ruby and Penny laughing in short order, though Penny did get her amusement under control quickly. "Ruby, there's something I've been wanting to talk to you about," she began as she chanced a look over at Ciel staring at her watch intently. Leaning in and reducing her voice to a whisper, Penny continued, "I want to stay at Beacon!"
Ruby blinked, before frowning slightly. "Penny, they'll never let you do that."
"I know," Penny conceded. "But Bob and I have a plan!"
"We do?" Bob couldn't help but ask. Certainly, this was the first occurrence of this desire in his memory banks.
Before any more could be said, Ciel stepped back into the conversation. "It's been precisely one minute, ma'am!"
Quickly adopting an unassumingly happy demeanor, Penny concluded, "I'll talk to you more soon, Ruby!" She quickly turned around and offered a quick wave before following after Ciel.
Bob was about to retreat out of Ruby's Scroll and return to his connection with Penny's systems when Ruby asked, "So, were you listening in on us the entire time?"
"I was," Bob admitted, "but I've spent most of this morning, not to mention most of this entire festival, with Penny."
"You have, huh? Well, that would explain why you're never around anymore," Ruby muttered. She asked at a more conversational volume, "How come?"
Despite the fact that Bob had already set aside a predetermined answer for exactly this question, it still took far more milliseconds than usual to reply as its still-new feelings overwhelmed it momentarily. "You… you are aware of the… changes I've been going through since my reactivation, right?"
"Uh huh," Ruby nodded.
"I'm not a person," Bob answered. "And no matter how much Kassidy thinks otherwise, I'll probably never be a person. But still, after spending some time talking with Penny and her father… I've been spending as much time as I could with Penny, hiding away in her body, effectively running a simulation of myself using her inputs. I might not be a person, but maybe… maybe I can be more than a machine."
Ruby smiled. "You are more than a machine, Bob. You're my friend. You're all our friends."
Bob didn't need to run a systems analysis to determine that the happiness and pride it felt was the real deal, and not a synthetic replication of the feelings. "It gladdens me to hear that, Ruby. And I'm proud to call you my friend, also."
It was at this instant that Professor Peter Port deigned to interrupt their conversation. "Our next match will begin in fifteen minutes!"
Ruby lit up instantly. "Oh my gosh, that's right! It's time for Yang and Kassidy's fight!"
"I should probably go rejoin Penny at this point in time," Bob reasoned. "Though rest assured I'll keep a processor on the fight to analyze Kassidy and Yang's respective performances."
"Oh come on Bob, don't analyze the fight. Just enjoy it!" Ruby called out.
"En…joy it?" Bob asked. "How does one 'enjoy' a fight?" When Ruby didn't answer in the following milliseconds, he tried again, "Ruby? Hello?"
Its only answer was a slight clicking sound and the feeling of being disconnected. She hung up on me! Bob couldn't help but observe. Strange, this idea of enjoyment. Yet another mystery to solve. Perhaps Penny would have an idea?
(Perspective: Kassidy)
"Well, now it's our turn!"
Kassidy snorted as she checked Rogue's magazine again. "That's one way to put it."
"So, you've been doing a bunch of reading on the competition," Yang commented to her side, casually stretching immediately before the match were to begin. "What're your thoughts on these Atlas guys?"
Pulling her leg up to stretch her quad, Kassidy grimaced. "Atlas' military went ahead and ate up the Huntsman Academy up there – which kinda blows the whole 'independent defenders of the people' image out of the water, if you ask me – so highly militarized is probably our best bet. Lots of teamwork, lots of really big guns, and lots of carefully rehearsed tactics just begging to be torn to shreds." She was about to continue, but a roar flying behind them nearly made Kassidy fall flat on her face from her stretch. A girl on rollerblades, a short skirt, and a crop top skidded to a stop in front of the two of them, causing Kassidy to amend, "Or… whoever the hell they are."
"Hey!" the girl called out, causing both Kassidy and Yang to turn to look at her. Her Faunus tail twitched behind her as she pointed at Yang and asked, "Where did you get your hair extensions?"
Yang absentmindedly brought a hand up to rub at her obsessively cared-for mane. Kassidy nearly hissed; whoever dissed her girlfriend's hair was pretty much guaranteed to be on the receiving end of a beatdown. After a brief reminder from Kassidy to not get too worked up, Yang confusedly answered, "This… is just my normal hair."
The Faunus girl across from them made a face. "Ooh, really?"
"Yeah," Yang challenged. "Is that a problem?"
"You should try roller blading sometime!" the girl deflected. "It's super fun! It'd probably take you a while, though since you're so… you know, top heavy."
And I stand corrected, Kassidy mentally amended. I'm killing her myself. Sorry, babe – your new toy's about to get busted up.
Yang looked like she was about to go off on the Faunus, but Kassidy beat her to the punch. "It's okay. I understand, really." Drawing confused looks from all three of the other people in the ring, Kassidy continued, "But there's no need to be jealous here. I mean, I know there's plenty of reason to be jealous – hell, I'm jealous I don't have a rack like my girl here. But don't worry, sweetie. I'm sure puberty will come for you soon enough."
"Excuse me?!" the girl shouted at her.
"I mean, you'd be a pretty late bloomer even by my standards; you should take it from me when I say that I was a pretty fucking late bloomer. But I'm sure you'll grow up soon enough." Turning a look onto the darker skinned male to the girl's left, she asked, "So are you a combatant, or our musical accompaniment?"
"Hey!" Skater Chick yelled. "I'm not done with you –"
"Hush, kid," Kassidy instantly cut off. "The grown-ups are talking."
"Hey sunshine," the male suddenly called out. "You best put a muzzle on yer missus, before I go and show her how we treat disrespect back where I'm from."
"Honey," Yang fired back, "the only person that gets to lay a hand on her is me. And if you're going to be spouting off demands like that, maybe you should practice what you preach."
Kassidy had been spending the time while the Music Man and Yang had been talking examining his trumpet, and her cursory examination didn't leave her feeling happy. Pulling Yang in, she whispered, "That guy looks like he's carrying around a sonic weapon – and exactly zero of my four ears are liking the sound of that."
Yang opened her mouth to reply but was interrupted by the terrain raising into place around them. Crystal geysers rear right, urban ruins rear left, fiery hellhole forward left, sand dunes forward right, Kassidy assessed. Let's stay off those sand dunes. My Aura gliding probably wouldn't work on sand. Ruins are probably my best bet. I can lead Skater Chick behind me to those, probably lull her into a false sense of security before I bust out my moves in Home Field Advantage.
Professor Port interrupted Kassidy's impromptu planning session by beginning the countdown. Whenever he got to two, however, her and Yang's opponents began bickering. "Remember the plan, Neon," Music Man reminded.
"Fuck the plan!" the newly identified Neon shot back. "That bitch is going down!" Kassidy couldn't help but smirk. Jackpot.
"BEGIN!" Port cried. Music Man instantly opened up with a blast from his trumpet, and even with Kassidy trying to put as much distance between herself and that damned sonic weapon of his as she could, the sound still sent stabbing bolts of pain into her head and made her stumble. Neon had evidently gone charging after her, if the nunchucks slamming into her cuirass and sending her tumbling rear over teakettle into the urban area was anything to go by.
"Nunchucks," Kassidy groaned. "Why does it always have to be nunchucks…" Neon had blown her into a densely-packed part of the ruins, leaving her in the tiniest of clearings while she was free to skate around, using the rubble as cover. It was a good idea, and Kassidy would've had difficulty tracking her… if it weren't for the gigantic rainbow trail following her opponent around. Still, it didn't change the fact that staying inside an obvious kill box was a horrible idea, so she decided to flex her powered movement muscles that Qrow had gone about literally beating into shape. What would've ordinarily been a quick roll to narrowly dodge around Neon's next attack was instead a casual fifteen-foot jump over the rubble, giving Kassidy a bird's eye view of Neon howling in frustration as she missed.
Kassidy landed comfortably in a far more open spot but still wasn't able to relax. Her ears twitched on top of her head at some pebbles being knocked aside – Kassidy was still amazed that she could easily hear such tiny giveaways now – and after being attacked twice by Qrow's sister, she didn't hesitate to obey her finely honed danger senses.
"What?" Neon asked when her next attack meant only empty air. "How did…?"
"Not too bad, for a kid," Kassidy taunted as she leaned against a crumbling wall. Pushing off it and Aura gliding across the way got Neon's eyes to widen. "You still need roller blades to skate? How cute."
"Argh!" Neon oh so eloquently expounded, her frustration already seeming to reach a critical level. She flexed her hands and… made to snap her own nunchucks in half? No, Kassidy realized, it was the activation for some sort of Dust in the weapon, as the nunchucks in question started glowing a light blue.
Kassidy twirled Baton out of its sheath and stared down the girl opposite her. "I'm okay not doing this if you are," Kassidy offered. "I try not to make a habit of beating up little girls."
"Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!" Neon yelled, kicking off and shooting off across the clearing they found themselves in. Kassidy rolled her eyes, waited until her attack had been committed to, then brought Baton up to deflect the icy steel rod away while simultaneously drawing Rogue and levelling it on Neon's head. Neon juked to the side, though, causing the Taser bullet to miss by inches and crash into a guardrail, sending sparks everywhere.
Neon dug her skates in to arrest her momentum, but Kassidy decided to prove the Aura skating was superior to conventional skating when she stopped on a dime and shot off, swinging her sword at the back of Neon's head. What should've been a free 15-20% of her opponent's Aura in one attack, however, turned into near panic when Neon ducked and flicked her wrist, skating away and leaving Kassidy with one fist completely frozen over, Rogue sitting prominently and completely useless in the center of the ice.
"I'm gonna put you on ice!" Neon yelled, returning for yet another attack. Kassidy yelped and dodged out of the way, then shoved her Aura to her feet and took off further into the urban ruins. It took a bit of doing, but she eventually managed to lose the skater girl in a particularly dense patch of destroyed buildings and hid behind a wall, desperately trying to get the ice off her fist. "What's the matter?" Neon yelled out. "Too scared to fight me?"
"There are many, many things I'm scared of," Kassidy replied, trying to dig up the last vestiges of her ventriloquism skills to hide where she was. "You, unfortunately are not on that list." She waited for Neon to smash through a lamppost before adding, "Or, perhaps I should say 'fortunately'. After all, I do happen to have this habit of killing things I'm afraid of. Keeps them from becoming problems."
"Shut up and face me like a warrior!" Neon bellowed. "Stop being a coward!"
"What's the matter?" Kassidy asked. "Can't find me? Feeling a little on edge?" Having finally peeled the last of the ice off her fist, she chucked the largest chunk of it behind Neon, making it shatter inside a building. Neon took the bait, dashing inside to try and find her. Kassidy chuckled to herself, loaded a magazine of high explosive ammo, and detonated the doorway Neon had entered, making it collapse.
When Neon next spoke up, it was with not a little hesitation and quivering in her voice. "Stop playing games and show yourself!"
Kassidy, though, was having too much fun with this. Sure, Ruby's warned her about playing with her food before… but this? She's been the prey for almost her entire life. She cherished each and every moment she got to be the predator. "Are you scared, child?"
"Stop calling me a child!" Neon shakingly called back from inside the building. Seems the poor girl hadn't found a way out yet, and was very nearly reaching a breaking point.
"I could finish you off now," Kassidy reminded. "The building you're inside is unstable. All it would take is one more explosive round. One more load-bearing wall to fail. And this whole apartment would collapse. With you inside it."
Kassidy could hear Neon's blanching face as she stammered out, "W-What?!"
And now, Kassidy thought, time for the coup de grace. She wasn't much of a singer, but for the purposes she needed? She circled the building, and slowly chanted, "Cower in fear. Cover your eyes. Go to that place where you feel safe."
"S-Shut up! Let me out of here!"
Kassidy's smile grew teeth. "Trust in the lies. Tell yourself you'll be fine. But you can't deny…"
As she trailed off, Neon waveringly asked, "C-Can't deny what?"
Kassidy forced her smile down, then reached in through the boarded-up window where Neon was just now beginning to back across, her back still facing her. Kassidy busted through the wood, got the crook of her arm around Neon's neck, hauled her halfway outside the window, and hissed into her ear, "The fear that's inside," before pulling her the rest of the way out of the building.
Neon screamed as she fell out of the building, landing on her back on top of some shattered glass that did their job in taking a point or two off her Aura. Kassidy, having long since loaded in nonlethal ammunition, put two rounds into Neon to finish off her Aura and getting the buzzer to sound. She knelt to get right next to Neon and took no small pleasure in reminding the convulsing girl, "By the way, just remember that I'm the nice one. Especially after you called my girlfriend fat and dissed her hair."
"And chasing immediately on the heels of her partner, Yang Xiao Long eliminates Flynt Coal! Team RWKY is victorious!"
Kassidy smiled, then jogged back out into the middle of the arena just in time to see Yang return from the crystal geysers. She offered a hand for a high-five, then squealed when Yang instead grabbed her about the waist and lifted her up. "Someone's in a good mood," Kassidy quietly observed. "People are going to be talking…"
"Let them," Yang asserted. "Let them know just who won." Rather than talk any more, she actually took the initiative and kissed Kassidy right there. Kassidy, for her part, found her fingers tanging in Yang's hair as she tried to steady herself. They broke their kiss, then turned around and waved for the crowd, who seemed all too eager to lap up the attention and display.
"Whoa-ho!" Peter suddenly announced, absolutely killing the mood. "Yang Xiao Long and Kassidy Smith, everyone, one of the fiercest, most combat-capable set of partners I've ever had the pleasure of teaching! And, as you might imagine, the source of not a small amount of gossip, if I do say so myself!"
"Wait," Kassidy deadpanned as Yang lowered her to the ground. "What?"
"Ugh. Damnit, professor," Yang sighed.
"We're getting back at him for that, right?" Kassidy asked.
Yang nodded. "Definitely."
"Guys!" a voice yelled from behind them. They both turned around to see Ruby sprinting onto the arena and Weiss following around at a more sedate but still excited pace. "That was awesome! You guys were amazing! We have to celebrate later!"
"Okay," Kassidy spoke up, getting the girls' attention before they could get started. "If you guys suddenly decided – without my input, I might add – that I'm going to be competing in the singles now, just please speak up so we can get over this."
Yang, Ruby, and Weiss traded looks, but it was Yang who offered, "I mean, if you really want to…"
Kassidy shook her head. "I really don't want to. Besides, you're the better fighter in these arenas, Firecracker."
"Alright then!" Yang yelled. "Pyrrha and Nora won their doubles round, too! I think this calls for a celebration!"
"Ooh!" Ruby added, "we should invite Sun as well! His team made it to the singles also!"
Kassidy's eyes met Yang's, but where there would normally be a slight bit of resentment and hesitation, the amazingly beautiful lilac orbs just locked on hers. "Alrighty then, let's make it happen!" Stepping closer and leaning in so that her lips brushed Kassidy's human ear in the most interesting of ways, she whispered, "Though if you ask me, the celebration's just about us tonight."
Kassidy couldn't trust herself to do anything but nod. Not after her gut warmed up a bit like it has been recently.
AN 2: Well, that took a while. And I knew exactly what I wanted to do with it, too! So, what took so long?
Me getting myself set up in the real world. Odds are, by the time I publish the next chapter, I'll be publishing it from my new apartment. Talked to the people earlier today, documentation's been filed, just waiting for the okay before we start talking money and getting stuff moved.
Coming up next: Happy Ever After
Right after these Reviewer Responses!
Padparadscha Blue: Current signs seem to be pointing to Kassidy not being the next Fall Maiden – Ironwood's hard against it, Glynda seems to be voting against her also, and Ozpin admitted that she wouldn't be his first choice. And as for Semblance… again, spoilers.
SerketLily: Yeah, Kassidy becoming a Maiden seems like it's not happening at the moment. Blake? I think she was about to come to that conclusion, but keep in mind RWKY's Adam Taurus =/= RWBY's Adam Taurus. And yes, I would love the opportunity to use Yang Xiao Long as a body pillow (honestly, what kind of straight man or gay woman wouldn't?). Ruby's too energetic for her own good. And I can't say that I've played Mass Effect 3, unfortunately.
DIYEyal: Sorry, no hints for Semblance, because again, this is spoiler territory. Super spoiler territory. The kind of spoilers that may or may not change how Volume 3 ends… wait. Goddamnit. Here's your Bob point of view fix for you, my friend, hope it's what you've been wanting. And I actually chuckled a bit at your quote, because not only did I used to be a civil engineering student before I switched to computer science, but as a writer I'm predominantly an architect. At least, until I've got plants growing up from a garden that I didn't even know I'd planted.
BlitzkriegHOSS: If I'm being perfectly honest… I wanted to do that. I wanted to do that really badly. I just couldn't figure out a way to easily put it in the chapter. I still want to do that, but… well, we only have a couple days before everything goes to shit, so there's not exactly a lot of time to shove in Qrow vs. Bob ninja fighting.
ThornedRose367: Glad you enjoyed the chapter so much. And if you haven't gotten enough fluff yet, do not worry. Next chapter is fluff. All. The. Fluff.
Ultimatrix bearer: I'm normally against that to, but this isn't that. This is more of remedial training where Qrow is just expediting Kassidy's ability to use her Aura. Via the method of punching her. A lot. Yes, I do have an actual backstory planned for Cinder. One that I honestly thought Rooster Teeth would use, but if they're just going to kill her off (hah, yeah right…) then I suppose I'll just need to use it. You, my friend, keep being awesome as well.
MorgothII: Oh, voice-to-speech, how I love/hate you. Depends on whether or not you actually work. Glad you liked last chapter, hope you like this one as well.
SuperbBirb: Welcome back, Liz! Or SuperbBirb, I suppose. I'm so, so glad you're just as happy with my continuing work as you were with what I'd put out earlier. I like to think I've improved as a writer, but the confirmation definitely helps. Sorry about the almost heart attack, though, I don't plan on abandoning RWKY any time soon! You keep being amazing as well, and I suppose we'll just need to go on this crazy voyage together!
P.S. Good job so far on Beecon University's reboot – been liking what I'm seeing so far!
