(He didn't know... "To Harry Potter- the boy who lived!")
Harry groaned at the name. He HATES being called the Boy-Who-Lived! He HATES being famous for what his mother did! Argh!
With the end of that chapter, Dumbledore passed the book to McGonagall.
"Chapter two, The Vanishing Glass."
Harry sat up, this was Dudley's birthday. Which meant...
He waved his wand, causing everybody else's wands to fly to his hand, which he put in Hermione's bag. The only wand that was not removed was Moody's. Because, A) the old Auror would kill him if he tried to take his wand, and B) he was pretty sure his holster had so many anti-summoning charms on it as to fill a house.
Moody just nodded in approval when he noticed his wand was untouched. Apparently him and the boy got to know each other a bit. Either that or the boy heard his reputation.
When everyone turned to him to shout about why he took their wands, he just shrugged and gestured towards the Dursley's, silently letting people know that they were not going to like this chapter.
To be honest, Harry didn't really care what happened to his relatives, he just didn't want to see somebody he cared about doing something that would get them in a lot of trouble later. They had enough problems going on right now.
(Nearly ten years... report about the owls.)
All the pranksters in the room simultaneously shouted out about how boring that sounded, except for the Harry's. They agreed wholeheartedly, they just knew better than to say it with two Petunia's in the room. If Harry hadn't already taken everybodies wands they would've had no problems with it, but...
(Only the photographs... different-colored bonnets-)
Snickers rang out from the wizards, even the adults who usually tried to keep the youngers in line.
(but Dudley Dursley... in the house, too.)
A lot of the wizards looked a little confused at that. They knew that Petunia didn't like the boy all that much, but he was still her nephew.
The four Weasley's who had gone to get Harry for the World Cup frowned, now that it was mentioned, they couldn't remember seeing any pictures of Harry in the living room anywhere when they got there. Of course, the place was covered in dust at the time so they didn't think much of it but now...
(Yet Harry Potter...noise of the day.)
Both Harry's started grumbling about something and rubbing their ears, both with dark looks on their faces.
Sadly, not even Remus could tell what they were saying, or if it was even English.
Whatever it was, everyone in the room guessed it was something along the lines of "sensitive ears", considering that said ears were being rubbed like they hurt.
Snape started wondering if maybe Petunia wasn't the reason why the boy had such a hard time listening to instructions. Maybe his hearing was poor from having a wake up call like that for 11 years? He made a mental note to have Pomphrey check that out later. Moody also made a note on one of his pieces of parchment to get the boys hearing checked.
("Up! Get up! Now!..."Up!" she screeched.)
The Harry's started grumbling again, Snape was starting to feel *shudders* pity for the boy.
He had lived near and been friends with Lily long enough to know how unpleasant Petunia could be, and just how loud she could screech.
(Harry heard her... put on the stove.)
Fred and George looked at each other. From what they remember of that house's layout, the only rooms close enough to the kitchen for all that to have been audible would be either the cupboard or the living room.
They glanced towards the two Harry's, who seemed to be having a silent discussion, one they couldn't read.
Fred's eyes narrowed, the two of them had always prided themselves on being able to read Harry like a book, but at the moment, they had no idea what was going on between the two of them. Harry's guard was up in a way the twins had never seen before.
The twins had a bad feeling that they now knew exactly why Harry had taken their wands away from them, glancing towards their mother they knew this was not going to be pretty.
There feelings were confirmed when Harry glanced at them and nodded slightly.
(He rolled onto... same dream before.)
Sirius smiled, "Wasn't a dream kiddo."
Harry just grinned at him.
(His aunt was... she demanded.)
"Geez, you haven't been gone for, what, two minutes? Give the guy time to wake up, a morning person Harry is not!" Hermione exclaimed.
The Weasley clan nodded in agreement, getting Ron and Harry up in the mornings was a nightmare, one that the twins took as a challenge happily accepted.
They could only guess how Hermione had been dealing with them in the mornings since they went on the run.
Petunia glared at Hermione, "If I say he has to get up to do chores, the boy had very well better get up! And no complaints about it either! You should consider yourself lucky we kept you boy!" The last part was directed at Harry, who had been mouthing along with her little rant, having memorized it years ago from the amount of times he heard the same thing.
The wizards in the room weren't happy with her last statement. Especially with the fact that it seems Harry heard her say it a lot.
Inwardly, the two Harry's snorted. Chores huh? Is that what they call doing ALL the work while everybody else in the house sat around and did nothing at all? Even Dudley was questioning the definition of the word 'chores.'
Dudley was just enjoying the show of Harry being told off.
("Nearly," said Harry.)
The Weasley's all snorted, even Molly. That was about the standard morning Harry answer when asked if he was almost awake enough yet to come down stairs without breaking his neck.
Harry rubbed his neck sheepishly.
("Well, get a... on Duddy's birthday.")
"What?" Yelped Harry. "But that's in two days!" He sounded a little excited, but a little apprehensive too, after all, he had no reason to believe this day would turn out any different than Dudley's birthdays in the past.
The others had a completely different reaction.
"You're making an eleven year old cook?!" Molly screeched, making the Harry's both grab their ears looking annoyed at her. While they were used to screeching, that didn't mean they liked it. Remus and Sirius grabbed their ears and looked annoyed too, but that was just because of their canine halves.
Harry was so caught up protecting his ears from anymore damage that he almost missed Molly turning to him demanding to know when this started. Petunia was a miffed that this woman didn't even have the common decency to let her answer the question before blowing her off like that.
Before he answered, the two Harry's had another of their silent conversations, Fred and George were getting really annoyed with those.
Finally Harry spoke up, "Since we were... five? Or maybe six? We don't really remember, why what does it matter?"
Molly was so angry that she started to go for her wand, only to remember that Harry took all the wands. She started to demand hers back before the twins gently and cautiously told her that her reacting like this is exactly why Harry took them.
Surprisingly, this calmed her down enough for her to think again. She turned sharply to the two Harry's and informed them that they would be discussing this later in private, only for Sirius to clear his throat and give her a look, which surprisingly enough made her relent that Sirius could be there, but they were still discussing this! Sirius had no intentions of her being in that conversation though, while he was grateful of her taking care of Harry over the years, she was not Harry's mother or godparent.
A couple of teachers noticed Sirius' look and figured they better run distraction later so Sirius and the Harry's could have their conversation in private. They happened to agree that Harry was Sirius' responsibility, not Molly's.
Petunia had been trying to get her word in to remind these freaks that if the boy was going to live under her roof, he was going to work for it, that's the way the world is, but McGonagall started reading again before she could.
(Harry groaned.)
This time, Fred and George could read the conversation between the Harry's.
'You have a death wish or something? You don't make noise! She'll send you out to the garden for hours!'
'I know, I know... I just couldn't stop that one.'
Needless to say, the twins were not happy about what they 'overheard.'
("What did you say?" his aunt snapped through the door.)
Harry gave Harry the look. The one that says, 'See? Told ya.'
The others were exasperated, he hadn't said anything!
("Nothing, nothing... he have forgotten?)
"Easily." Both Harry's said. This earned them a glare from the Dudley's, although Dudley seemed a little harsher than his older self.
All four adult Dursley's were starting to get concerned. Why was Dudley all of a sudden being nice to the boy?
(Harry got slowly... put them on. )
Ron shuddered, Harry smirked until he thought about what the book was going to say next. Then he just double checked to make sure he still had the other's wands.
This action did not go unnoticed by Sirius, Remus, or Moody.
(Harry was used to spiders, because the cupboard under the stairs was full of them, and that was where he slept.)
The room was dead quiet. Taking advantage of the momentary lull before the storm, Harry cast a quick protection and repelling charm over his relatives, just because he took away the wands of wand dependent wizards didn't mean they couldn't still do some damage if they wanted to. Especially the twins. He had no illusions that if Moody wanted to break his charms and do what he wanted, he would.
Then he noticed the looks on some of the adults faces and leaned over so he could cover Harry's ears. 'This is going to be loud,' he thought.
And he was right.
If there had been anyone outside of this mystery room they were in, they would have thought a small explosion had gone off.
Which, of course, is exactly what happened. A small explosion by the name of Molly Weasley, accompanied by McGonagall, Ginny, and Madam Pomfrey. The rest of the adults were a little too shell-shocked still, staring at Harry and wondering just how much they didn't know.
With four angry witches all shouting at the same time in a very small space, it's not surprising that no individual words could be made out, until Madam Pomfrey shocked everybody by cursing at the Dursleys.
Before anybody could scold her for using such language around children, (thinking about Harry and Dudley, the Trio have seen too much now to ever be considered children again and Ginny was... Ginny) both of the eleven year olds piped in that they've heard worse, with their older counterparts nodding in agreement.
That just caused a whole 'nother explosion, towards the Dursley's, towards Dumbledore, towards Harry for taking their wands, eventually, Sirius and Remus took the Harry's to another room to talk where it was quiet, they didn't talk about anything big, just shared more stories of the Marauders at Hogwarts while they waited for the witches to cool down.
Taking Harry out of there also lessened the chance of one of the witches jumping him in favor of getting her wand back.
After about 20 minutes of this, the Harry's decided to go ahead and make lunch while the witches got their anger out, so they wished for a small kitchen and it appeared.
"Think we should let Moody know, so he can keep his eye out? Don't want him to starve after all." Harry said absently, glancing towards the other room. Remus shook his head, knowing Moody he already had his eye on them. After he said that, Moody walked into the room with them, apparently deciding that the Dursley's and Dumbledore were in good hands and that he would rather be where the food was being made, make sure it wasn't being tampered with.
Sirius narrowed his eyes at the thought of his Harry knowing how to cook so well, but decided not to say anything. He knew cooking was a good skill to have, he just didn't like WHY Harry could cook so well. So, the Harry's cooked, Remus and Sirius shared stories while they did, and in the other room four unfortunate Dursley's and Dumbledore were having the tongue lashing of their lives.
It didn't take long for Harry to brave going back out to the living room to signal everyone else to follow him, when they did they were not expecting a small feast to be laid out, with Harry still pulling stuff off the stove. Harry just grinned at their faces and told them to dig in. At Fred's questioning the foods safety and edibility, Harry just asked with a smirk how Dudley could have gotten so fat if Harry's food wasn't edible. Not having an answer to that, everyone dug in.
What Harry didn't say was that him serving anything that didn't taste good would get him a few months in the cupboard eating breadcrumbs, if he was lucky. So, he kind of had to be a good cook. Dudley noticed he didn't say anything else and stopped Dudley from saying anything too.
The Harry's were just happy to be cooking for somebody that wasn't a Dursley. In the past, the only times Petunia didn't make him cook was when they were having special guests that she wanted to impress. Shame really though, considering that between Harry and Petunia, Harry is clearly the better cook. Although, there was the little issue of Petunia not letting him touch anything in the kitchen since he started Hogwarts...
Noticing that it's gone silent in the other room, Harry looked out to see that those who had been part of the explosion were now looking around confused as to where everyone else had gone. Laughing, Harry invited them into the now dining room and told them they decided to get lunch going while they had it out. Molly was confused, how could they have lunch when she didn't make anything? She wasn't expecting to see everyone gathered around a large table eating a feast fit for Hogwarts, nor did she expect the others to inform her that the Harry's made it when she asked. Although now that she thought about it... Harry always was asking if he could help in the kitchen.
She turned to stare at them, while they both scratched the backs of their heads nervously as they sat down to eat. When Dumbledore and the Dursley's, minus the Dudley's who came in with the rest of the group, the room created a smaller table for them, away from everyone else, which was good since everyone was still mad at the five of them.
When they returned, Moody went straight to his parchment and started scribbling again, muttering under his breath. Snape got the last word in before they kept reading, "Grace would be ashamed of you." He sneered at Petunia. She paled.
(When he was... fat and hated exercise-)
Snickers rang through the room, mostly from those who were there when Fred questioned the safety of Harry's cooking.
Dudley puffed himself up indignantly, but Dudley stopped him before he could say anything.
(unless of course... bag was Harry,)
Both Dudley's were suddenly faced with some scary looking wizards who had been laughing moments before. Before now they had ignored the boy because he hadn't done anything, but now that they knew he beat Harry up...
Harry sighed and softly asked everybody to leave Dud alone, he was just doing what he knew, what he was taught.
(but he couldn't... was very fast.)
Which made Ron and Hermione start laughing about how right that was, asking Harry if he remembered that run-in a few weeks ago with those Snatchers. Harry smirked and asked how he could forget.
For some reason, that comment just made it funnier for the other two. When the others questioned what they were talking about, they hadn't heard anything about the Trio being spotted, Harry said in a quiet voice that the three of them had gotten pretty good at memory charms.
Hermione added on that they weren't proud of it, but the few times they were spotted, they'd had to do something or Death Eaters would have been swarming the countryside faster then they could say 'Moldyshorts'.
Ron explained that usually Harry could get away fast enough that none of them realized who the third person to get away was, they were normally happy enough with their catch of two that they'd promise to hunt down that one later. Then Harry would sneak back around and knock them out, free Ron and Hermione, get what supplies they could, wake them up, get information, then wipe their memories of ever seeing the Trio. Harry just nodded, saying that they got most of their news from the radio when Ron finally figured out the new password, or from the snatchers.
Hermione said that if they were really desperate for information they would get spotted and chased on purpose. Moody raised an eyebrow, those were some good hit and run tactics, these three would make good Aurors.
The adults just stared at them, finally Molly asked if that, gesturing to Hermione's arm, happened because of one of these schemes.
The Trio grimaced and Ron stated that that one happened because SOMEBODY, throwing a look Harry's way, forgot about the Taboo and they weren't prepared to fight.
Everybody who knew anything about Harry grimaced, yeah, he would forget about the Taboo, considering several of the Weasley's tried for years to get him to stop saying that name and he didn't, even at some point messing with it and changing it to 'Moldyshorts.'
(Perhaps it had something to do with living in a dark cupboard,)
All the adults growled at that little reminder.
They were still wishing Harry hadn't taken their wands from them. They really wanted to use them on those Dursleys for that.
(but Harry had... bigger than he was.)
Hermione and Ron sat up like one of life's biggest riddles had suddenly been answered for them. They had been asking for years why Harry's clothes were always a little big on him, and each time he would just shrug and go and change the subject. They should have known that his aunt and uncle had something to do with it.
Moody barked out something about the Potter fortune, looking at Harry's clothes and asking why he never went and got new ones. Harry was confused, what Potter fortune? Moody growled and went back to scribbling on his parchment.
(Harry had a thin... like a bolt of lightning.)
The room got quiet. All the wizards who knew anything about Harry knew that he hated his scar, especially when people stared at it.
"This was before I knew where it came from, what it means." Harry said softly, and just motioned to keep reading.
(He had had it as... when your parents died,")
Harry had the feeling that everybody was going to be growling a lot until he actually got to Hogwarts in these books.
(she had said... with the Dursleys.)
All the teachers sat up and stared as if they'd been electrified. "So that's why you never come to any of us when something is going on. You've been conditioned not to ask questions, ever." McGonagall whispered.
Even Snape looked like he now understood, even if he was a little a annoyed now. While he may not like Harry, and he may hate teaching, he is still a teacher, and as a teacher, it frustrated him to no end when Harry never came to any of them for any help of any kind. To finally know why that was...
Harry just shifted in his seat uncomfortably.
(Uncle Vernon entered the kitchen as Harry was turning over the bacon.)
It was confirmed, Mrs. Weasley and the other witches in the room were going to be growling at the Dursley's a lot during this reading.
("Comb your hair!"... way- all over the place.)
"I think that might be a Potter thing actually..." Remus mused. "James was the same way... so was your grandfather now that I think about it..."
Harry sat up. "Grandfather? If I have Grandparents then why didn't I go to live with them?"
Sirius grimaced, "They were killed shortly before James and Lily, in fact, as cruel as it sounds, that's how we managed to convince James and Lily to go into hiding in the first place... well, we used the obvious excuse of keeping their only son safe too, of course." He smiled sadly down at his two godsons. Harry just nodded sadly, he already knew about his grandparents, he had looked them up not long after arriving at Hogwarts his first year, although he never told anybody about that.
Moody grunted, "Good people, went down fighting."
Harry nodded slowly, before asking about his grandparents on his mothers side. This time it was Petunia that answered, although she spoke stiffly and with the usual sour-lemon expression she got when he dared to ask a question. "Mum and Dad got sick and died shortly before Dudders was born. In fact, that is the last time I ever saw my sister." To say everybody was shocked that she said anything and that it with a somewhat civil tone is an... understatement.
Dumbledore sighed sadly, "Even if Lily's parents had still been alive, you would have still been sent to live with you aunt and uncle, your grandparents were just getting too old to look after someone in your situation like that, not to mention having a one year just thrust on them with no warning like that. It was thought that you would have been raised happy alongside your cousin."
Harry just glared at Dumbledore, not needing to speak, his look saying it all. The other witches were too angry to speak as well, McGonagall took the silence as her cue to keep reading.
(Harry was frying eggs... looked like a pig in a wig.)
The Weasley's in particular found this statement hilarious. Even the Professor's were having to fight from grinning like idiots, if the upwards twitching their mouths were making was any indication. Only Molly pursed her lips in disapproval, although she didn't say anything because even she had to admit that the boys behavior somewhat resembled that of a pig at times. Her not saying anything did not go unnoticed by her family. They knew what that look meant after all, and they all knew the tirade that usually accompanied it. They figured they knew the kind of struggle going on in her head at the moment.
(Harry put the plates... less than last year.")
As one, all the wizards jaws dropped. Well, all except the two Harry's and Mrs. Figg, they were used to how spoiled Dudley was. Ron stated in what was almost a faint whisper that not even Draco Malfoy was that spoiled, and his parents always seemed to buy him almost anything. Harry agreed to that, but personally thought that Malfoys parents were at least parents in the sense that they disciplined their kid, and obviously loved him. Just what they had seen of Draco's interactions around his parents at the Manor was proof of that.
Meanwhile, Molly and Arthur were hoping that Dudley's parents weren't about to turn around and encourage this type of ungrateful behavior.
("Darling, you haven't... Mommy and Daddy.")
The Weasley parents could feel their hopes crashing around them, something their children took notice to. The seven redheads silently started the countdown to when their parents exploded over the poor parenting of these two Muggles, even Percy despite the fact that he had been silent up to now, and the rest of his family was still a little cold towards him at the moment.
Beyond that, it was amazing that the group of redheads noticed anything at all about their parents behavior while rolling on the ground laughing about how Dudley was being talked to like he was five years old or something.
The Dudley's themselves were going beat red at the fact that these people were hearing him being talked to like that. He had a reputation blast it! Although, the older Dudley wasn't quite as concerned with that as he was the fact that this was just plain embarrassing.
("All right, thirty-seven then,... turned the table over.)
Again, neither Harry was surprised by this development while the other wizards jaws dropped, although several of them did catch them having a silent conversation.
Fred and George figured that either the two boys were slipping or they were just getting better at reading them. The conversation went something like this; 'They gave you breakfast? And they let you just have some bacon?' 'Yeah, they didn't want Mrs. Figg thinking I was hungry, I was supposed to spend the day with her.' 'Ahhhh, that makes more sense. I thought they were being nice for once.'
The twins decided that they needed to talk with Sirius later, and maybe or maybe not bring their mother into it... no. They better leave their mother out, if not for the sake of their eardrums. Besides, Harry wasn't her responsibility, he was Sirius's.
For now, they settled for asking how often the table got turned over. The two Harry's were startled out of their conversation only to start debating with each other on the number of times per week the table did in fact get turned over from one of Dudley's morning tantrum's. So far, the debate seemed to be over whether or not they should count the number of times Harry himself had managed to catch it before it fell over completely on top of him.
The twins were kind of sorry they asked. Especially when they saw that their mother looked like she was about to have a mental breakdown, possibly over the non-existent parenting of Harry's aunt and uncle.
Meanwhile, Luna and Neville were thanking Harry for not being a spoiled brat. Instead, he was a true friend to them.
(Aunt Petunia obviously... Two more presents. Is that all right?")
Arthur got up and quietly told them to keep reading and to tell them what happened later, then he grabbed his wife by the shoulders and gently led her out. The whole way she was sputtering indignantly and incoherently. Everyone just assumed that he was going to try and calm her down before she regained her voice and lit into the Dursley's again, this time on their poor parenting skills and how undeserving they were of raising a child.
Their kids were actually a little disappointed, they'd been hoping to see their mother explode on somebody other than them for a change. Besides that, they all really didn't like the Dursley's, they had been absolutely horrible to Harry, and nobody was horrible to their 'brother' and got away with it. Nobody.
Severus Snape was amazed and a little ashamed, he had spent so long accusing Harry of being a spoiled little brat just like his father, when it was clear that Harry was not the spoiled one in that house. Not even his godson was this bad, and he was very spoiled as a child.
(Dudley thought for... sweetums," said Aunt Petunia.)
All the teachers suddenly looked like they might pass out. An eleven year old boy that couldn't add 37+2? Faintly, McGonagall asked the boy how he got anywhere in school, to which the Harry's answered that it was him who got Dudley anywhere in school.
"So, you used to tutor him then?" Sprout asked hesitantly and a little hopefully, like she knew the answer but was really hoping she was wrong.
Harry shook his head, "Nope, I do it all for him while he runs around and terrorizes the neighborhood kids. That's part of the reason why my grades weren't as good as they could have been, I was doing double the work with barely any time to do my own, even if I wasn't doing his too. Of course that's not the only reason..." The last bit was the so quiet that Remus and Sirius were once again the only ones to catch it.
In unison, all the current teachers minus Hagrid turned to glance at each other, even Snape despite current circumstances back at Hogwarts. It was decided that they were going to get some good schooling in this boys head while they were there. They may not know the Muggle curriculum, but they also had Hermione and Remus there. Between the six of them, they could figure it out. Besides, basic maths, which was obviously a point the boy was lacking in, was drilled into all wizards heads by their parents and some wizard parents, particularly if it was a Muggle-Magical pair, sent their magic children to Muggle school before sending them to Hogwarts anyway.
When this decision was announced, both Petunia's started to get up and shriek indignantly that her baby didn't need freaks teaching him anything, but Vernon grabbed both of them and gently pulled them back to their spots, him having noticed the looks on the wizards faces. He seemed to have finally realized that they could rant and rave all they wanted, it wasn't going to change a thing about their situation and it was only going to make the freaks angrier, and who knew how long Harry would still be willing to protect them.
Luna suddenly spoke up, "You kept your grades at Hogwarts so low on purpose, didn't you?"
Harry's head snapped towards her, deer in the headlights expression on his face. All the teachers snapped to look at him, when he didn't say anything and instead sank even further into the couch, they all sighed and sank back, it looked like they were going to give a few review lessons to see where Harry really was too. Just how much he held back and just how much he was really capable of, which would only help if this didn't work and the Trio had to go back on their search.
It would help Harry too if he were to see just what he could be capable of, and if he sat in, he would get a head start on Hogwarts, the same head start that all the pureblood raised children, minus the Weasley's had to an extent.
("Oh." Dudley sat... He ruffled Dudley's hair.)
All the Weasley boys and Ginny were really wishing their mother was here, but she was still out of the room with Arthur. What nobody knew though, was that Remus and Sirius could hear the rant coming from the room Arthur took her to. It was very amusing hearing the woman ranting about bad parenting and spoiled ungrateful children, the effect was slightly ruined since Remus knew that the Weasley parents would have given anything to have been able to give their children that kind of life growing up.
"If only the rest of you could hear her right now..." Remus said, shaking his head, Sirius nodded beside him. The Weasley clan all pouted.
As it was, the looks of disgust the Dursley's were getting from the other adults in the room was priceless. Even Neville and Luna were disgusted by this behavior, and seeing Luna with a disgusted look on her face was new for everyone.
(At that moment the... angry and worried.)
Hermione whistled before fixing both Dudley's with a glare. "Those are very expensive items, and there are a lot of them, and yet you are still asking for more? How greedy and ungrateful can you be?" Then she turned to his parents, but didn't say anything, her look said it all. They were completely to blame for behavior like that, encouraging it like they did.
Dudley just sighed and shook his head in disgust, "I know I was bad, but man. I don't think any of those stayed intact longer than a week, except the bike..."
Harry shook his head, "No, you used the bike to run Mrs. Figg over a month later, then you broke it, remember? I think you tried to jump something, and the frame couldn't handle your weight or something. But yeah, you were pretty bad back then... I guess that attack really did change you, huh?"
Dudley just shrugged, still processing how he used to act. He grimaced and turned to Mrs. Figg, apologizing about running her over. She just stared at him just like everybody else before saying that it was all right, it hadn't happened yet, and as long as he was really sorry.
All four Dursley adults were actually starting to consider a psychiatrist, as much as they hated thinking anything could possibly be wrong with their boy, to see what was wrong with him. Why was he so disgusted by perfectly normal behavior? And why was he being nice to the freak?
("Bad news, Vernon,"... Harry's direction.)
A few people winced in sympathy for Mrs. Figg, since she was a Squib it wasn't like she could go to St. Mungo's and get her leg fixed, she had to tough it out the Muggle way, then they noticed that Mrs. Figg was giving Petunia a dirty look, telling her that if they dared send the boy to Marge for the day...
Moody perked up at the threat and scribbled on his parchment again.
It was around this time that Molly and Arthur finally came back and got caught up on what happened.
(Dudley's mouth fell... cats she'd ever owned.)
Throughout the whole description of staying with Mrs. Figg, both Harry's started to sink down into their seats, finally both mumbling a sheepish "Sorry Mrs. Figg." at the end of it. She just smiled sadly and waved them off, stating that if she had actually made it fun for him then his aunt wouldn't have allowed him to come anymore. Which of course earned the Dursley's another glare from the wizards.
The Dursley's were getting pretty good at ignoring them.
Although Molly was a little miffed at how Harry called Mrs. Figg a 'mad old lady,' she figured that no boy would like going somewhere like that while his cousin was off celebrating his birthday like that, besides, he apologized. What she was really mad about was the fact that his relatives passed him off on a neighbor to be miserable while they went out and further spoiled their son rotten. She remembered what Arthur told her and kept quiet about it though, for now.
Sirius raised an eyebrow and turned to his godsons.
("Now what?" said Aunt... Mr. Paws, and Tufty again.)
Sirius sighed, he supposed the kid had a point there, and at least he knew to feel sorry...
("We could phone Marge," Uncle Vernon suggested.)
Harry jumped up, "NO! I'm not going to spend the whole day with Aunt Marge!"
Moody made a couple of marks on his parchment where he had last written something. Both the boy and Mrs. Figg clearly wanted nothing to do with this 'Aunt Marge'.
"Don't worry," Harry said with the stupid grin the Gryffindors hated, "You don't." Harry sighed in relief before sitting down again, either not noticing or not caring about the glare both Vernon's were sending his way. Although most of the older Vernon's glare seemed to be directed at the older Harry, whether it was for the reminder of what happened that day at the zoo, or for what Harry did to Marge even he couldn't have told you.
("Don't be silly, Vernon, she hates the boy.")
Both Harry's grumbled about the feeling being mutual. The glare intensified, although Vernon was smart enough not to say anything (see, and people say he doesn't have a brain...), at least not while his freak nephew was the only one in the room holding a wand.
(The Dursleys often... understand them, like a slug.)
Harry was getting really tired of hearing everybody growl all the time like that. He was starting to consider putting a Silencio on them when stuff like this comes up... Nah, wouldn't work. Once he gave them their wands back they would just undo it.
("What about what's... on Dudley's computer).)
All four Dursley's turned to him angrily, but their incoming tirade about him being ungrateful and using their things behind their backs stopped when he casually pulled his wand out and started making a plate in front of him levitate, seemingly out of boredom, but everyone could see his eyes casually flick towards his aunt and uncle. Seems his patience with them was reaching its limit.
Moody smirked in approval.
(Aunt Petunia looked... they weren't listening.)
"They never do." Both Harry's muttered under his breath.
("I suppose we... sitting in it alone...")
"He's not a dog!" Hermione yelled indignantly. Harry just smiled over at her, before turning to grin at Sirius, who was frowning slightly at the thought of his godson being treated like a dog. Shoot, worse than a dog in his opinion, call him biased towards dogs, this coming from the dog animagus, but he considered just leaving them like that to not necessarily be cruel, but... irresponsible. Harry nudged him, shaking him out of his thoughts.
He turned to him, only to see the rest of the room staring at him, looking amused by something. Harry snickered and conjured up a mirror, just holding it for Sirius to see himself. Why had he started transforming into a dog without him even realizing it? Oh yeah, he was debating dogs and cars... He turned to look at everyone else again, then back to the mirror. "Ummmm."
He turned pleadingly to McGonagall after making the dog ears and nose that started to appear go away. What only Ron and Hermione noticed, and only because they had specifically looked for it, was Harry putting his wand away and the mischievous smirk on his face... Harry looked at them and winked.
(Dudley began to cry... him anything he wanted.)
Dudley went beet red again, he hadn't remembered that. His jaw dropped disbelievingly at yet another reminder of how much of a spoiled brat he had been. He turned to his younger self again, "We are SOOOOO having that talk tonight before bed. Don't think you can get out of it." He said threateningly.
The wizards just watched approvingly, seems Dudley really changed over the years. McGonagall kept reading before Dudley could protest.
The women in the room looked at both Petunia and were disgusted, but not surprised at this point, to discover that she didn't seem the least bit upset to find out that her son had played her like that. What would it take to get this woman to realize this behavior was unacceptable?
("Dinky Duddydums,)
All the Weasley's, even Percy was laughing even if he stayed in his seat, were rolling on the floor laughing at this nickname, while the Dudley's just sat their and fumed over the fact that every embarrassing nickname his mother ever gave him was coming out in front of all these wizards. Especially the twins. Dudley hadn't forgotten that thing with his tongue, they had to be responsible somehow.
Only Molly wasn't laughing, although she, like the rest of the wizard adults, was having to fight the smile off her face at the sight of Dudley's embarrassment.
(don't cry, Mummy... to cry at once.)
"Of course he did, couldn't let somebody like that see you weak, even if you are just pretending." Fred said wisely.
"Although," George added, "If Piers was truly your friend then you wouldn't care if he saw you like that, pretending or not."
"Besides that, anybody resembling a rat is untrustworthy. At least in my experience." Harry said lightly, having felt Sirius stiffen at the mention of Piers resembling a rat. This was his subtle way of getting McGonagall's attention so she would keep reading, and Sirius could get his mind off rats, the new bane of his existence, quite literally.
Thankfully she got the message.
(Half an hour later... first time in his life.)
Hmmm, maybe he could Silencio them for now, just until he gave their wands back, nah. Then they wouldn't be able to talk and discuss, and most of their discussions were interesting at least, so...
(His aunt and... now until Christmas.")
"They didn't, did they?" Hermione asked hesitantly. Harry just grinned, although he wasn't sure how he should feel about her just automatically assuming some funny business had happened. Happy that she knew him so well or offended that that was the first thing she thought of, hmmm.
Instead, "Nah, I showed up at Hogwarts, didn't I?"
She just raised an eyebrow. That in no way relieved anybody's fears of how long he ended up in that cupboard for whatever happened at the zoo. Hermione and Ron dimly remembered Harry telling them about setting a snake on his cousin at the zoo once...
("I'm not going to do anything," said Harry, "honestly...")
Everybody turned to stare at the two trouble-making boys called Harry Potter. They fidgeted a bit before finally demanding in unison, "WHAT?"
Everyone just shook their heads and went back to the book.
(But Uncle Vernon... make them happen.)
Harry sheepishly scratched the back of his neck. Well, he honestly thought he was completely innocent of all that weird stuff happening, and who could blame him, he'd grown up being told almost everyday that there was no such thing as magic.
(Once, Aunt Petunia,... had grown back so quickly.)
Remus turned to Harry to ask him something, but Harry cut him off with a small grin, "I already talked to Tonks about it, and she said there was a possibility, she offered to test it out with me once this whole war was over and I came out of hiding."
Remus just nodded thoughtfully, a little surprised that Harry had predicted his question so well. Sirius was too. Of course, that was when Remus remembered something and had a sudden idea. He still had yet to pick somebody to be his kids godfather...
(Another time, Aunt... caught him in mid-jump.)
All the adults frowned in thought. Now, there was a piece of accidental magic you didn't hear about everyday. Snape just snorted at the irony. The brat was more like his mother than Snape had ever let himself realize, and he was really starting to hate these books for his ruining his perfect image of the spoiled Potter brat.
Out loud, he informed the room at large that Lily had started consciously using her magic to fly when she jumped off the swings. Harry just nodded, he remembered seeing in Snape's memories that he had been friends with his mother at school.
Petunia scowled at mention of Lily's magic.
(But today, nothing was going to go wrong.)
All the Weasley kids, Hermione, Neville, and even Luna groaned. All of them asking Harry why he would even think something like that.
Harry just sighed, yeah, he knows that was stupid, he just jinxed himself like nothing else.
(It was even... it was motorcycles.)
"Hey, what's wrong with motorcycles? I happen to like them." Sirius said, slightly offended that this Muggle who hated anything and everything not Muggle would hate something that, in Sirius opinion, was the height of Muggle technology. Besides, Sirius was currently trying to ignore the fact that Harry had been listed as one of the subjects Vernon liked to complain about more than once. He just might explode if he dwelled on it. Even as he tried to ignore that fact, he was pulling the boys towards himself protectively. Both boys tensed a little before Harry relaxed a little quicker than Harry did.
Vernon just glared at him. This criminal, he didn't care what they said if he was locked up he was a criminal since there was obviously a reason, not even these freaks would lock up an innocent man, was one of those maniacs who roared along on the dumb things, of course he would be offended that a normal person wouldn't like the things.
("...Roaring along... "It was flying.")
Harry sunk down even lower into his couch while Harry at the same time facepalmed before turning to give Harry the most silent talking down anybody had ever seen. The Weasley twins didn't even try to read this conversation, by now they had heard enough from the other ones to guess what it would entail.
Everybody else who would have chewed him out for his stupidity in that comment decided that little Harry had done a good enough job of it.
(Uncle Vernon nearly... "MOTORCYCLES DON'T FLY!")
"Shows what you know." Muttered all the wizards and even Mrs. Figg.
Vernon was pretended he didn't hear them, although the quivering of the mustache gave them both away.
(Dudley and Piers sniggered... get dangerous ideas.)
The twins and Marauders in the room suddenly smirked, and after a moment Harry smirked back. Suddenly adults were fearing for their sanity...
(It was a very sunny... that it wasn't blond.)
Weasley's were once again rolling around laughing. They, Percy included, didn't think they could ever get enough of Harry's attitude. Remus was laughing as well, while Sirius joined the Weasley's on the floor after a couple seconds of staring at the book like he couldn't believe what he just heard.
(Harry had the best... to finish the first.)
The adults were not happy with the fact that they did that for the ungrateful boy, but they really weren't happy that the only reason Harry got any at all was because Dudley wasn't happy with the one he already had.
None of them noticed Harry turning to Harry with a question, or the grimace on both of their faces afterwards, well, except for the twins. They seemed to have made it their mission to find out every little detail of Harry's life before Hogwarts.
Dudley also grimaced, remembering what he had done to that before 'giving' it to Harry.
(Harry felt, afterward... the reptile house.)
Ron and Hermione suddenly sat up, suddenly paying the most attention they had for the whole chapter. They knew that it was coming up soon.
Harry, meanwhile, was nervously watching Sirius, he knew what Sirius thought about it after telling him sometime during the tournament, but...
(It was cool and... it was fast asleep.)
'Hmmm, now that I think about it, I wonder if he was faking it...' Harry thought to himself. 'Makes sense considering how Dudley was treating him...'
Dudley groaned, he knew what was coming, and he now that he thought about it, he could honestly say he kind of deserved it.
(Dudley stood with... snake just snoozed on.)
"Are you really his servant, Mr. Dursley?" Luna asked innocently. Most of the wizards in the room choked on their laughter, wanting to hear this conversation.
"Am I his- No I'm not his servant! I'm his father! Where did-" But Luna cut him off here. "Oh, if your not his servant, then why are you following his orders like a servant would? Or did your parents let you order them around too?"
Both Vernon's were sputtering so bad nobody could tell what they were trying to say, although even if people could tell, they wouldn't have heard it over the roaring laughter that was the Weasley clan, Harry, and Sirius.
("This is boring," Dudley... the rest of the house.)
"Did you ser- really just compare your life to that of a snake at the zoo, Harry? Yes, Sirius, I just did that." Remus responded to Sirius' put out expression. Put out because he hadn't gotten to use his running gag.
Harry was snickering at Sirius's face, along with everyone else in the room, before he said slowly, "Yeah, well, a lot of the time it kind of felt like I was living in a cage... So, yes?"
The adults just sighed and turned back to the book.
(The snake suddenly... and winked, too.)
Sirius was starting to look at Harry like he was a little crazy. Harry was starting to wish he could disappear into the couch and never be seen again. He had no idea how his godfather would react to him speaking to or having anything at all to do with snakes. Sure, the two of them had spoken before about how abilities and whatnot didn't make you evil, but... that was his Sirius.
The one who'd helped him out during the Tournament, and the one he'd stayed with that summer before the hearing. That was the Sirius he'd actually held a private conversation with, who'd tried to be a father despite Molly's interference. This Sirius had so far only been alone with them to tell stories about his father while his aunt and uncle got yelled at.
He knew he was being stupid, but...
(The snake jerked... that all the time.")
"Harry, are talking to the snake?" Sirius suddenly asked, very, well, seriously, with a strange look on his face.
Harry scrunched in his seat and stared at his shoes. "Yes." He said softly. Then he just waited. But Sirius just said nothing, just pulled him into a hug and whispered something to him that made Harry look happier.
Vernon scoffed. "Nonsense, snakes don't talk, they don't have the brains for it, and even if they could, how is a human supposed to understand them? The freak's mind is playing tricks on him."
Harry muttered something in Parseltongue that made Harry laugh. That's when Harry got a new idea. The Gryffindors started to get excited when they saw the look on his face.
Moody muttered something about testing for his family tree at Gringotts when they got a chance.
McGonagall decided to keep reading before the Dursley's could start up an argument, although she was impressed with how Harry had gotten a handle on his Parseltongue, last she heard he needed to be near a living snake for it to even be a possibility, and he couldn't tell when he was speaking it either.
("I know," Harry murmured... WHAT IT'S DOING!")
"Dudley, Piers had the worse timing in the world." Harry said dryly.
"I'll agree with that." Both Dudley's said under their breath. How many times had Piers ruined some scheme of their's with his horrible timing? It took a minute for Dudley to realize that he had just agreed with something Harry Potter said.
While Harry scowled during his panic, Harry and Dudley just watched, both amused and annoyed.
(Dudley came waddling... back with howls of horror.)
While Sirius and Remus had been growling at that thought of Harry getting punched like that, they fell silent, both of them eager to find out was so horrifying. The looks on their faces had both Harry's clutching their sides from laughing so hard.
(Harry sat up and... tank had vanished.)
"Powerful bit of accidental magic there..." Flitwick mused, staring at Harry thoughtfully. He was going to see about testing the boy when this blasted war was over with.
Everyone chose to ignore the Vernon's muttering death threats under their breath, especially Remus and Sirius since they're the only ones who can really hear what's being said anyway, although they all decided to keep a closer eye on those two while they were there.
(The great snake... Thanksss, amigo.")
Hermione just shook her head, muttering something about a weird conversation with a snake. Harry laughed nervously before hissing that they agreed that never happened.
"Harry," Remus scolded. "What have Sirius and I told you about talking to strange snakes? Especially with the war on. You never know what their thinking, Slytherin's symbol is a snake for a reason."
Harry raised his hands defensively, "But this wasn't a strange snake! I know her! I think she was drunk or something that day though, because..." He shuddered before glancing at Hermione again, looking away just as quickly.
"How would a snake get drunk?" Fred asked. "Yeah," George added, "They can't exactly hold a bottle to drink it, can they?"
"Trust me, you don't want to know." Ron said darkly. The other two shivered and Hermione muttered something about a nest.
If the wizards were weirded out by this conversation, even in the wizarding world this is not normal, it was nothing to how the Dursley's felt about it. Even Dudley was starting to question Harry's sanity, and he was the only one of the six Dursley's who were on good terms with the guy.
(The keeper of the... to squeeze him to death.)
Everyone turned to stare at Dudley, who just demanded "What? I was eleven, ok? Sheesh."
(But worst of all... weren't you, Harry?")
"Worst timing ever." Both Harry's and both Dudley's muttered. Dudley could care less that Harry would get in trouble from Piers opening his big mouth, he just hated that the guy had such bad timing with some things, but such good timing with others.
(Uncle Vernon waited... him a large brandy.)
To say Molly was angry is an understatement. "First of all, did you just say 'no meals?' And secondly, why are you drinking when you are angry? With two kids in the house!" All this was said in that sweet voice mothers sometimes get when you messed up royally.
Vernon just stared warily at her, without answering. Bad decision.
Harry had to jump up to pull her off of him, she was punching and kicking everywhere she could, all while yelling about how you didn't withhold food from a child, you didn't drink angry with children in the house, and you didn't lock children in cupboards as punishments. All the others could think as they stared at the door Harry dragged her through, with Percy's help surprisingly, was how lucky Vernon was that Harry had her wand.
When Percy and Harry finally felt it safe to bring her back in, they did it with a tight grip on her arms, and then Harry put a sticking charm on her seat before sitting her back down and going back to his own seat, wondering idly if they could call it a day after this chapter so he can get some sleep, he knows Ron and Hermione are in need of some too. While they took care of her, Madam Pomfrey noticed suddenly that she had her wand back, and reluctantly set about seeing to the worse of Vernon's Molly inflicted injuries. Otherwise, she left him as he was.
(Harry lay in his dark... kitchen for some food.)
Vernon was not happy, Vernon was in too much pain to care. "You ungrateful little freak! How dare you steal from us! You should be happy with what we give you and stop complaining!"
Sirius was really getting tired of the freak comments. He would have gotten up to finish the job Molly started on the Vernon's, but Harry needed him more. As Vernon yelled, Harry had started to shrink in on himself with a resigned and accepting look on his face while his older counter-part started mouthing along with what Vernon was saying, word for word, with an equally resigned look on his face... although Harry also seemed to be more annoyed with it then his younger self. Sirius pulled Harry in for a hug and started whispering that he was not a freak and to not listen to the man, but Harry didn't look like he believed him.
The others in the room were also disbelieving of what they were hearing. They noted idly that Dudley looked vaguely disgusted at both versions of his father, while the younger Dudley looked gleeful at what his father was saying. The Petunia's were just watching, although there faces also looked a little gleeful, although not quite like Dudley. Frankly, the adults were disgusted and impressed at the same time. Disgusted that a child could be this cruel to someone else, and impressed that Dudley seemed to grow up and learn how wrong this was.
After calming Harry down, Sirius asked if they could just finish this chapter already. They would deal with Vernon later, when there weren't children in the room.
(He'd lived with the... in that car crash.)
People glared at the Dursley's and Dumbledore again for reminder of that little lie.
(He couldn't remember... pain on his forehead.)
"You remember that much?" Molly asked faintly. A few of the other adults looked a little sick at that thought that Harry remembered just that much, just wait till they found out what Dementors did to him.
Harry just shrugged. Yeah, he remembered the light, and so much more. They didn't need to know that though, wait until third year, then they could know all about it. Hermione and Ron turned to glance at him, but when he shook his head no, they just turned away again.
(This, he supposed, was... them in the house.)
"I have pictures now. Hagrid gave them to me after that whole mess with the Mirror." Harry said with a grin. The teachers looked disapproving at the reminder of that Mirror and the Stone, especially Hagrid's involvement in that whole thing. Of course, they didn't know all the details yet...
(When he had been... were his only family.)
Now Sirius and Remus just looked guilty. Harry said not to worry about it, he knows why they couldn't be there, but he said it softly so that only they could hear him. Them having canine hearing comes in handy for private one-way conversations.
They just turned to smile softly at him but didn't say anything. He may have forgiven them for not being there, but they weren't about to forgive themselves. Or Dumbledore. He was the one who didn't even bother with a trial and who kept reminding Remus to stay away because of his furry problem, how many times over the years had Remus tried to visit? Too many to count.
(Yet sometimes he... tried to get a closer look.)
"Ok, now that is a breach in security. If he's there in the first place so wizards can't find him, then they just walk up to him in the streets? We're lucky none of those were Death Eaters!" Sirius yelled. Moody nodded in agreement.
To everybodies shock, Harry turned to his younger self and asked if he remembered seeing a big guy staring at them a few weeks ago (remember Harry is from just a couple of days before Dudley's birthday and the trip to the zoo in this). A big guy with not a lot of hair and and almost pinched expression. (I don't remember what they all look like and I don't have the books here with me, sorry if my descriptions don't match the books)
When Harry remembered who Harry was talking about, Harry turned to Dumbledore and said that now that he thought about it, that man was without a doubt a Death Eater by the name of Nott. Nobody even bothered asking how he knew the Death Eaters well enough to put names to faces. They were just too horrified that a Death Eater had been near Harry before he even got to school. Moody narrowed his eye and went back to scribbling away, this time on a new parchment.
He seemed to have several different pieces of parchment, one for things for Pomfrey to check the boy for, one to check on things when they got out of here, and one just for Death Eaters.
Harry chimed in by saying that he'd seen that guy around a few times, always when Aunt Petunia made him go grocery shopping so she didn't have to carry anything too. Harry muttered something to him in Parseltongue that made Harry look unrepentant before switching to English and asking McGonagall to finish the chapter.
(At school, Harry had no one... disagree with Dudley's gang.)
Harry muttered something in Parseltongue again before asking if they could leave it there for the day before he, Ron, and Hermione fell asleep right there.
Ron and Hermione chimed in with their agreement, and now that people looked, they did all look like they were about to fall asleep where they were. Then again, they were in the middle being tortured for information and an escape before being pulled to this room...
All the adults agreed and Molly said she would come wake them up for supper and they could go back to sleep afterwards. The three of them looked at her gratefully before getting up and stumbling half-asleep already towards the nearest door that they really hoped had real beds in it. Once they were out of the room, Molly turned to the Dursley's and firmly asked Ginny and the twins to take Harry and Dudley and explore their little domain, find it's limits. For once, the twins didn't bother to argue, as much as they wanted to stay. Dudley even decided to go with them.
Once they were gone, Molly turned to the Dursley's and Dumbledore. "So..."
