Chapter 38 – Hallow's End
Dear Lady Proudmoore,
On behalf on Lady Sylvanas Windrunner of the Forsaken, I hereby write you this letter. It is with deep regret I have to ask you not to seek contact with her or reach out to her in any way shape or form. She will from this moment decided to explore her new paths and reclaim her leadership of the Horde. As you are familiar with, Lor'themar has reigned successfully in her place and it is important to her to honour him by proclaiming herself Warchief yet again in a respectful manner. She asks you for your forgiveness and that you respect her privacy in these difficult times. Lady Sylvanas will reach out to you when she is ready and has requested me to communicate one specific thing to you:
I'm still me.
Condolences,
Dark Ranger Velonara
Jaina frowned as she read the words scribbled with black ink on the old Lordaeron scroll. Could Sylvanas not even write her own mail?
"Condolences in my arse, she's not even dead…" she murmured.
She crunched the letter together in her fist and threw it at her wall. Her wall. Her old chamber. In Dalaran. Two weeks ago, she had been removed from Undercity by force. Jaina still shivered slightly when she thought about it. The guards that she had not long ago led through the Emerald Nightmare and slayed Xavius beside had grabbed her, involuntary placed her on a gryphon and sent her on her way to Dalaran. She still remembered Senior Sergeant Grimsfords sad face that so desperately wished to tell her things when her gryphon had taken off.
At first, Khadgar had been shocked and disapproved of her arrival. He had sworn and grunted that as the current Kirin Tor leader he should banish her from the citadel. Jaina had just stood there. Stared at Khadgar with sad eyes. He had looked back at her in disbelief while fighting himself free from the Kirin Tor mages arms that held him from confronting her.
Jaina was ashamed.
She knew she should not be. She had only followed her emotions. Although, it had left her with an almost certain death, a forfeited royal position in Undercity and a broken heart. And there was Varian. Khadgar would probably never forgive her for that. He still blamed her.
The Sylvanas she had fallen for, loved, cared for and fought beside was gone. She had died in her arms while she had screamed her heart out. The letter meant nothing to her. It was constructed by Dark Ranger Velonara, she was sure of it.
I'm still me.
That was apparently Sylvanas' words. How was Jaina supposed to believe that? She had not even been allowed to see her. Not after her… Her resurrection.
"Jaina! How dare you return to Dalaran?! You have been named the most treatiourious person of the Alliance since Prince Arthas!" Archmage Khadgar had breathed heavily while his eyes rested stiffly on the young mage.
She had just stared into the ground. She could not even meet his eyes. It was too embarrassing. She had fallen for a dead female elf. Betrayed everything she had ever believed in and agreed to success her reign over the Forsaken.
"I don't even know you!" He had said.
The words still burnt in Jaina. But it was for Sylvanas… She had loved her. Despite the other shameful things she had done, that she was not ashamed of. Not for loving her.
Sylvanas…
"Jaina?" A soft voice called her name. She had not even realised the door being opened.
As she looked up Vereesa's sweet smile met her. Her only friend. Thank God Vereesa was here.
"Vereesa!" Jaina rose from her chair and went to embrace her best friend. They hugged tight and long.
"How… How is things?" Vereesa said carefully. They had not seen much of each other since Jaina had come back to Dalaran.
Jaina scoffed as she picked up the curled up roll from the floor and gave it to Vereesa.
Vereesa read Velonara's words and her frown grew.
"What the fuck?" The high elf looked up and raised an eye brow.
"Yeah… I have no clue. I mean, she is alive and doesn't want to see anybody. And I am supposed to respect that? No chance. She has probably regained her 'high elf feelings'" Jaina gestured with her hands.
"And decided that actually, I'm not that important to her after all".
Vereesa sighed and re-read the letter. She sensed the spiteful feelings Jaina was having.
"But… She says she is still her, Jaina".
A loud scoff left Jaina's lips. "Still her, yes right. The Sylvanas I knew and loved, died in my arms while whispering the sweet words Dalah' surfal to me. So I don't think so. She's probably off bedding that elf of her's, reminiscing the sweet days of Quel'thalas. I can't even…" Jaina shook her head.
Vereesa gave her a slightly judging look.
"Uhm… You know… The Sylvanas I knew and loved died for her people in Quel'thalas. I learned to know and love her again in undeath. Now, my sister has just been resurrected. Like… For REAL! And her bedding other's all you can think of? That's a little selfish don't you think?"
"Selfish? What about her? She doesn't want to see you either. Nobody! Why? We don't know her anymore".
"There must be a reason, I mean. She clearly states she is still her". Vereesa pointed to the words in the letter.
Jaina kissed her teeth.
"I don't think so. I nearly let them raise me as an undead monster in her memory, Vereesa. And this is how she repays me when she for some magical reason comes back to life as her ACTUAL self".
Though Vereesa somewhat felt for Jaina, there was something that just did not sit right with her. Sylvanas had been emotionally unavailable ever since Arthas raised her as a banshee. Until Jaina came along. And her sister had lover her. With her entire withered heart. Vereesa knew it. She knew her sister, and she knew that this could not possibly be the whole story.
"You know what". Vereesa stood up.
"I get that you are pissed that she doesn't want to see you, but I know my sister. If she is telling you to stay away, you should respect that and her. She will see us when she is ready. You're not the only one going through this you know. She is MY sister, and she is the only sister I have left. The fact that she is actually alive, is a pretty fucking big deal to me. So get over yourself!" Vereesa stood up straight, clearly swallowing a ball of tears.
Jaina did not respond and just stared Vereesa whose nose flared. Jaina had never seen Vereesa like this. Not even after Rhonin. Of course Vereesa was going through this too. Jaina had been so focused on herself and her loss that she had not thought much of anything or anyone else.
Suddenly, she felt bad.
"Vereesa, I'm sorry. I…" But Vereesa held up a hand to stop her.
"Hey, just… Don't. It's fine. She will speak to us when she's ready ok?"
Jaina did not like the sound of that, however with an almost crying Vereesa in front of her, she nodded in agreement while lowering her head, looking to the floor.
"Now, it is going to be a Hallow's End celebration tonight". Vereesa inhaled deeply and shook off the tears.
"Yeah, I'm not feeling very festive". Jaina sat down on her bed and sighed.
"It's a good opportunity for us to take our minds of things. And I hear we have some visitors from other parts of Azertoh as well". Vereesa smiled.
"I doubt I'll be invited. Khadgar hates me, the Alliance hates me. Problem is, I have nowhere else to go. So here I am!" Jaina lifted her arms to gesture her presence before letting them fall back down into her lap.
"He doesn't hate you. He just... He was scared for you. It's not exactly every day an ex-Kirin Tor leader decides to become an Undead Queen".
Jaina planted her face in her palms and chuckled. For the first time she heard how ridiculous is sounded.
"You're right! I cannot believe it myself. Maybe I will come. We can drink, dance and hand out tricky treats to the kids. What do you say?" Jaina smiled at Vereesa who giggled.
"I'd love that, friend".
As night fell upon Dalaran, so did Hallow's End. Dalaran came to life, and the citadel forgot about the Legion for a night. Mages threw fireworks on the clear, dark, moonlit night sky while gnomes were juggling pumpkins. Cobwebs had been vowed by hunter pets throughout the streets and it was spun neatly in windows and around doors.
It was nice to witness some normality Jaina thought as the traditional festivities gave her a good feeling. She was wearing a black lace dress, and her hair had been dyed grey for the night. Her side fringe that normally was golden blonde was coloured dark red and she was wearing red lenses to go with her outfit.
Jaina roamed peacefully through the streets of Dalaran, heading towards the Tavern to meet Vereesa, when suddenly, a pair of warm hands folded over eyes. It made her jump and she could not tell who the owner of these hands were. They were soft and Jaina stroked them to get more hints.
"Long time no see". A sweet voice whispered.
Jaina's heart jumped and she turned around.
"Ayawa, oh my God, you're okay!" She embraced the blood elf priestess in a hug.
"Vereesa said we had visitors, but I didn't expect you!"
The young blood elf smiled. "Surprise!"
Ayawa wore a tight, midnight blue, silk vowen suit with a pelt leather belt. She had a dark burgundy cloak over her shoulders that was tied neatly around her neck with a black bow.
Jaina chuckled. A tingling feeling in her stomach appeared. Last time her and Ayawa had spoken in the tent in Stormheim, they had nearly kissed.
She cleared her throat. "How have you been? I mean with the nightmare…"
Ayawa shivered and Jaina could tell she instantly became uncomfortable. She waved her hand at Jaina.
"I'm fine now. No need to talk about that shit".
"Of course, pardon me". Jaina lowered her eyes.
An awkward silence hit them.
After a few seconds Jaina kissed her teeth.
"So I'm heading to the tavern to meet Vereesa, you coming?"
Ayawa shrugged. "Sure, we're here to party right?"
Jaina made a silly frown and giggled.
"Whatever floats your boat shadow priestess" she laughed.
The two of them linked arms and headed towards the tavern.
The Tavern was heaving with people from all over Azeroth and Hallow's End decorations filled the place. One dwarf had even sculptured a glass statue of the headless horseman and enchanted it to gallop around in the room, glowing green. Tainted waverlings were dancing on the small wooden stage and tamed spiders were creeping up and down the wall to scare the children.
The whole atmosphere made Jaina smile from ear to ear and, just for one second, she forgot all about Sylvanas.
"Hey you made it! And you brought… someone". Vereesa's smile faded slightly as she studied the blood elf.
"Excuse us a moment…" Vereesa said to Ayawa as she pulled Jaina to the side.
"What are you doing?" Jaina raised and eye brow and looked confused at Vereesa.
"Erm, what? What are you talking about?"
"Who is that?"
"Ayawa. Lady Liadrin sent her to Highmountain to find Sylvanas with Dafar and me. Then when we got attacked in Stormheim, she got trapped in the nightmare with all those druids, you know the story. I've only just seen her again now". Jaina kept looking at Vereesa hoping for an answer for the interrogation.
Vereesa hummed and glanced over at Ayawa who had gone to the bar.
"There is something fishy about her, I don't like it. If I didn't know any better I'd think you were attempting to replace my sister out of spite".
The words hit Jaina like a frost bolt and guilt for having a moment with Ayawa in Stormheim and lusting for her creeped up on her like a slimy blob. Then she broke out in a nervous laughter.
"Paaah what the hell Vereesa. You must have a very vivid imagination in there". She said and knocked on her best friend's forehead with her fist.
Vereesa frowned.
"You like her don't you? I know when you lie Jaina Proudmoore, don't even try. And you know what, that's vile. I cannot believe you'd do that!"
Jaina swallowed hard.
"Fine. She's cute ok! But nothing has happened, and I would NEVER. I may be mad at Sylvanas, but I'm not that petty. Fuck knows what she is up to, but I have the right to have some fun while she is excluding me from her life". She crossed her arms.
"Nothing has happened? Not even when you shared a tent in Stormheim?"
"NO!"
"Fine, I believe you. But I will be watching you. I might trust you, but I don't trust her. She looks…" Vereesa made a grimace.
"Alright…" Jaina murmured and dragged Vereesa to the bar.
"Bought you guys a drink". Ayawa turned around and smiled at them both.
Vereesa faked a smile as she accepted the drink.
"Oh, an arcane screwdriver, how appropriate for a blood elf". Vereesa almost whispered.
"Jaina…" A familiar voice said behind her. Jaina turned.
Archmage Khadgar sighed as their eyes met.
"I just wanted to say… I'm sorry".
"Not to worry Archmage, I'm used to being hated by the Alliance by now". Jaina said in a patronising tone.
"The Alliance doesn't hate you. It is just hard to understand and accept your recent choices".
"I don't expect anyone to understand. I loved Sylvanas and she loved me. When you love someone, you make irrational decisions. That's all". Jaina turned away and downed her drink.
"Now, where is the music?!"
Ayawa and Vereesa looked at each other and shrugged, Vereesa mouthed a 'sorry' to Khadgar who was left confused.
Three hours later, Jaina felt the Dalaran red wine flowing through her veins, and the loss of control felt great. She could feel herself disappearing in the tavern tunes and as she spun around she got a tickly feeling in her chest. Her lungs filled with laughter and as Ayawa folded her arm around her waist she simply closed her eyes and let go of herself.
It could have been seconds, it could have hours, Jaina was not sure. But someone grabbed her arm and ragged her outside. She was too intoxicated to catch the face of the person and she only giggled as she unsteadily followed the unknown person outside without questions.
"Lady Proudmoore, please! Shape up! What's the matter with you?!" They had stopped in a small, enclosed garden behind the tavern.
"I'm having fuuuuun". Jaina slurred as she attempted to focus her sight on the person in front of her. After a couple of minutes of trying hard and breathing fresh air, her eyes focused.
"Grimsford?" Jaina raised her eyebrows.
"What are you doing here?" She almost shouted.
"Shhhh, please my Lady. I am not supposed to be here. My Queen would never forgive me. My head would be placed on a stake outside Undercity for all to see". He shivered at the thought.
"Well fuck Sylvanas!" Jaina threw her cup of wine to the ground. The Sergeant flinched slightly.
"Why does she still call the shots, huh? She's no longer undead! She's not your queen anymore Sergeant!" Sergeant Grimsford grunted, reached out and slapped Jaina across her face. It shocked her enough to stand up straight and gasp at him.
"Now you listen to what I have to say. I came her for your benefit, not to listen to you disrespect my queen. If you want to know why she is keeping you at distance, I suggest you prick your ears human!"
Jaina had not been spoken to like this by Senior Sergeant Grimsford since the first day she met him. She instantly realised she had acted foolish, but she was too embarrassed to apologise.
"It's her Val'kyr. As you know, she does not have them anymore, Helya does. And there are only two ways to get them back, give her the resurrection potion that I used to revive her with, as agreed in the initial deal. Or kill that monster. For good".
Completely ignoring the information about Helya, Jaina blurted out in anger.
"SHE COLLECTED THE DUST FROM HYRJA ANYWAY?! EVEN WHEN I TOLD HER NOT TO?! AND IT WORKED?! She lied to me... This whole fucking time. How long did she know that the potion would work?"
Senior Sergeant Grimsford twisted his fingers.
"Technically, she did not collect the dust herself. Pierce and Paris did. Aaand she was given the vial of the potion just before we entered the nightmare, my lady".
Jaina's drunk head spun at the information she was receiving.
"But, then she died. And had no Val'kyr. So, we thought all hope was gone. But Tawny and Apothecary Jezel kept working on the potion to alter it to work on dead undead people. I then went down to the dungeons on the day of your… Your…" He could not even say it.
"I could not bear having you killed like that, Lady Proudmoore. It is not a life I wish for anyone. Especially not someone so young and beautiful like yourself".
"So… she is going to give the potion to Helya now to gain back her Val'kyr so that she can keep on dying like she usually does? Why won't she just leave it? She's alive now! Why can she not stop being selfish and accept mortality?! And also, does she have any idea how dangerous giving Helya that potion is going to be for Azeroth? Helya, ALIVE?!"
"It's not as easy as that. If she leaves the Val'kyr with Helya, it gives her even greater powers over the dead and living. She controls a lot from Hellheim already. And giving her the potion is not an option, of course. She doesn't want you near her because she is going to Hellheim to kill her. And she knew you'd follow her if you knew, that's why. But I've come to beg you to follow her anyway. Because if she dies this time. She will be gone. For good".
Jaina had no response. She felt sick and wanted to barf all over the sergeant.
"I… I love her". Was all Jaina managed to say.
"Then go get her. I have to leave before she realises I'm gone. She is setting off for Hellheim in two days, once the Hallow's End celebration is over. Happy Day of the Dead, my Lady." He said, and left Jaina on her own as he disappeared into the dark alleys of Dalaran.
