Chapter 42 – Shattered

The wind brushed through her hair and for the first time, she felt how icy cold the air was as it nipped her honey coloured skin. She had truly forgotten what it all felt like, smelt like, looked like, even sounded like. It had been so many years…

The gryphon she rode let out a loud screech as it dived in for landing. She stroked its white feathers softly. Sylvanas could not remember how long she had been riding for, having been in her own bubble the entire journey, trying to figure out what to do next. But too many of her other senses were in the way. Living senses that did not distract her when she was undead. She was cold to her bones. She shivered and her face was wet from crying.

She closed her eyes. Imagined Jaina's index finger running down her cheek.

For the first time she had truly felt it. Felt her. Admired the young sorceress the way she was meant to be admired. Seen her skin sparkling as the moonlight glanced at her pure skin. Seen her as the beautiful human being that she was. As Sylvanas kept her eyes closed, she saw Jaina's azure blue eyes glitter before her while the mage's sweet pink lips widened into a smile, studying her. Looking at her without the despair of seeing an undead creature. Just seeing her as the living elf she once was and now is again.

She tilted her head backwards, but tears ran down Sylvanas Windrunner's face nevertheless.

Never before had she felt such pain. What was the point in carrying on without Jaina? After all, she was the reason she was alive, and truly alive. For the first time since Arthas… Sylvanas' nose flared at the thought of the death knight.

As the gryphon touched down at Flight Master Garrett's post in Undercity, her loyal Senior Sergeant Grimsford came running towards her immediately.

"My… My Lady…" He bowed before her, a little shook up at the sight of her.

She looked down at her most loyal advisor as his sad eyes met her's. Sometimes Sylvanas wondered if he was potentially the person in the world that understood her the most. He had become more than just an advisor to her. Could he be described as… a friend?

"We will have a hot bath drawn for you, you are shaking!"

Sylvanas pulled her hood up attempting to cover her swollen eyes, but Sergeant Grimsford saw her.

She nodded in silence and followed the Sergeant.

Stepping into the scolding hot bath, Sylvanas welcomed the pain it brought to her skin. Sergeant Grimsford turned around as the Warchief dropped her towel to the floor and got into the water.

"How are you feeling, my Lady?" Before the words had left his mouth he already knew he had overstepped the boundaries he had as a mere servant. Nobody was to question Sylvanas Windrunner's wellbeing. He clenched his eyes while awaiting a reply, carefully taking a step back.

But Sylvanas just stared into the blank water while the bubbles from the soap Tawny had provided danced on the surface. Nobody had ever really asked her how she was feeling. Perhaps, because they assumed she never felt anything.

"Empty". Sylvanas suddenly replied in a cold tone.

Senior Sergeant Grimsford opened his eyes and swallowed. His queen had responded and let him in.

Slowly he walked up to the side of the bath. Hesitating slightly, he placed his skeleton hand on the Warchief's shoulder.

Instead of flinching and giving her advisor a lecture in respecting her privacy as she would have in undeath, she placed her own warm hand on his cold. She wanted sympathy and comfort, two concepts long lost in her mind.

"She's gone for good this time…" said Sylvanas and looked down.

"I am toxic for her. She made it clear I have ruined her".

"Well…" the Sergeant started.

"Although I fully support you, my queen. Some of your decisions regarding Lady Proudmoore have been a little…" He fumbled to find the right words, ensuring he did not hurt the Forsaken queen more than she already was.

"Bad" He said carefully, realising his wording on the matter was terrible.

"Bad?"

"Yes, bad. How could you doom her to a life in undeath when you know what that is like? Her beautiful skin would rot away and her eyes would glow like an ugly ally cat. How could you want such suffer for the one you supposedly love?"

Sylvanas exhaled and a single tear ran down her face. The Sergeant was right, how could she do that to Jaina. She had been so set on her legacy and that the Forsaken must be led by a worthy person she had not considered the personal impact it must have had on Jaina. Not even when the young mage had said to her face how scared she had been did she realise. It took her undead servant to make her realise.

"It was not the only decision she complained about I can assure you…" Sylvanas muttered.

"I assume her imprisonment in the Orgrimmar dungeons and King Varian were mentioned?" Grimsford suggested.

Sylvanas nodded.

"If I may offer my opinion, Warchief, the latter was necessary. The Horde would have perished had you not retreated from the Broken Shore. Nonetheless, I never truly understood why you sent Lady Proudmoore to the dungeons".

"I was angry. I thought… I thought her and King Varian…" she did not manage to finish that sentence.

"I hardly think that qualifies for imprisonment, Warchief. Not from a human's perspective anyway".

Senior Sergeant Grimsford patted her on her shoulder and turned to leave the former Dark Lady to relax in her bath.

"Sergeant?"

He turned and looked at his queen.

"I need you to do me a favour".

Grimsford's smile widened.

"Of course my queen. I live to serve you".

"You are more than my servant Grimsford. Please know that".

Attempting to not explode with gratitude the Sergeant bowed respectfully, awaiting his command.

Though he had other additional matters to discuss with his queen. Urgent in fact. But for tonight he would leave her to rest.

She scouted the landscape. She had never been to Suramar, but what she saw surrounding her was beautiful. Suramar had some sort of peace to it that made Jaina feel calm. Perhaps it was the glows from the many ancient mana deposits or the buzzing from the wildlife. She did not know. But she tried to imagine what it must have looked like before it was ravaged with wars.

"Jaina…" Ayawa nudged her and she snapped out of her thoughts.

"We are just about ten minutes away from the base, we should be able to speak Tyrande and Liadrin before noon".

Jaina gave the blood elf a nod. They had arrived by portal earlier that morning, but as Jaina had never been to Suramar so their location was a little off and they had been forced to walk for hours to reach the rebellion camp.

Ten minute later, they arrived at camp. A guard spotted them and went to fetch Tyrande and Liadrin immideatly. When they came out of their tent, Tyrande's face lit up.

"Jaina!" She exclaimed and embraced her friend.

Jaina smiled and nodded at Lady Liadrin. She did not know her too well, but she had great admiration and respect for the blood elf paladin.

"Where is Lady Windrunner? Is it true what they say, she is… alive?"

A sharp sting in Jaina's chest made her tremble slightly. She had been so focused on getting to the rebellion camp in Suramar she had not thought of Sylvanas today. The sound of her name made her heart raise and she had to swallow hard.

"Well… Yes… But she is back in Undercity".

Tyrande sensed Jaina's tone. "Do you wish to talk about it friend? I heard what happened to you too. I must say how happy I am you are still living and breathing".

Jaina just looked down and shook her head, dismissing Tyrande's heart to heart offer. If it was one scenario she would not like to discuss it was her near undeath experience.

"Fill me in on your efforts here instead". Tyrande nodded as she gently stroked her friends back.

"So we are ready. Reports came in this morning. We are finally ready to break the Nighthold".

"And finish Gul'dan once and for all?" Jaina could hardly believe it. Finishing Gul'dan would mean total eradication of the Legion from Azeroth.

Tyrande nodded and smiled. The nightelf flung her long emerald coloured hair over her shoulder.

"This is excellent news my friend, I am so proud of what you have achieved here!"

"Well we could not have done it without the nightborne. Which reminds me, may I introduce you to a new friend of ours".

Up walked a female nightborne. It was the first time Jaina had seen a shal'dorei and on some levels they reminded her of some kind of undead elves. They had withered, just in a different way. The woman's skin was dark violet and rough and her eyes glowed under the violet hood she so elegantly wore.

"This is First Arcanist Thalyssra, she has worked together with us and several other nightborne, formed The Nightfallen, to make this possible. It is her we can thank for this chance to end the Legion".

Jaina smiled and reached out to Thalyssra for a hand shake.

"It is an honour to meet you" said Jaina as Thalyssra shook her hand.

"Likewise, Lady Proudmoore. I have heard plenty of tales about Azeroth's most powerful mage".

"Oh I don't know if that is the appropriate description of me". Jaina blushed.

"I was hoping to meet the famous Windrunner sisters as well, but I see you have not brought me that pleasure".

"Sorry, we had a… let's call it disagreement, and they left separately last night".

Jaina expected Vereesa to have gone back home to Dalaran, but in truth, she was not sure where her best friend was at this moment in time.

Thalyssra nodded in understanding and gestured, "Please, let us gather in my tent and plan this assault on the Nighthold. You have no idea how long I and the Nightfallen have waited for this moment, Lady Proudmoore".

When Jaina entered the tent she spotted a male figure sitting by a large round oak table filled with maps and other props used for war preparations. When the man noticed Jaina, he quickly rose to his feet.

"Jaina?"

"Archmage Khadgar?"

Jaina felt embarrassment fill her body. She and the Archmage had not been on best terms since her and Sylvanas had been spending time together. And he had certainly lost it when she accepted the leadership of the Forsaken. Last time they had spoken was Hallows End and Jaina had not exactly been pleasant.

They all gathered around the table and Jaina and Khadgar avoided speaking with one another, but Jaina could see in the corner of her eye that the Archmage kept glancing at her.

Thalyssra cleared her throat as everyone seated themselves around the table. Other nightborne, Tyrande and Liadrin included.

"Today marks a grand day in the history of the nightborne. The Nighthold has stood as a testament to our people for centuries, until Elisande decided to jepordise our most precious position; the Nightwell. Gul'dan and the Legion have caused us nothing but pain and while the Grand Magistrix believed she was doing us favour. Now the time has come to reclaim our pride".

The Nightfallen around the table nodded and applauded their leader. Thalyssra smiled and gestured for silence.

"We have located a breach in their security in the depths of the Sanctum of Order. This is where we will be entering the Nighthold. I suspect that the first unfriendly face we will meet is Elisande herself".

Jaina leant over to Tyrande, feeling rather ditsy for asking. "Who is this Elisande?"

Tyrande raised an eyebrow at Jaina.

"Do you know anything about the nightborne?"

"Not really…" Jaina disconcertingly admitted. She had been so focused on Sylvanas she had not really followed the progression on the war since the two of them worked closely together in Orgrimmar.

"Well she used to be their leader, but as Thalyssra said, she gave the Legion access to the Nightwell which is the source of life for all nightborne. Now she serves Gul'dan in the Nighthold. That's when Thalyssra formed the rebellion: Nighfallen which is a group of nightborne fighting against the Legion. Many nightborne are still trapped within Suramar city and they will not be free until Gul'dan is defeated".

"Oh". Jaina nodded in understanding and looked up at Thalyssra. She must be one brave woman to stand up against the ruthless choice of her leader.

"We will start formation shortly and we attack at dusk". The First Arcanist said confidently, dismissing the meeting.

Jaina felt a little off topic and not least, guilty. Here, some of the greatest leaders of both the Alliance and the Horde had worked together for so long to make this one moment happen. But all she could think about now was Sylvanas. She should be here. Confronting Gul'dan by her side. This was what their entire relationship started with. A coalition to take down the Legion. Together. But after what just went down, Jaina was not they could do that. Even if it was just as faction leaders.

"Lady Proudmoore?"

Jaina looked up, rather startled, realising she had been trapped in her own thoughts for several minutes.

"Yes?" She responded without knowing what to.

"You and Khadgar have co-responsibility for preparing the mages" said Liadrin.

"Oh…" responed Jaina. She looked over at Khadgar, who seemed less than unpleased having to work with her.

After half an hour, everyone teamed up with those they had been assigned to commence the preparations. Ayawa had been assigned to the priests, Tokalas was too old for this mission and had been returned to Dalaran, bringing with him Hanna's dagger. Jaina felt horrible for sending another person to deliver the devastating news to Hanna's parents, but she herself could just not face that right now. Orasha had taken her leave shortly after Tokalas, returning to her duties in Highmountain.

"My friend. Please consider the fact that Lady Sylvanas has her issues. Try to walk in her shoes. I hate to see you two apart like this".

Jaina had not even responded and Orasha silently hugged her before calling a great eagle for her flight back to the Thunder Totem.

I nearly did walk in her shoes, thanks to her twisted mind… Jaina thought. She was still cross with Sylvanas, it had only been one day. But an unsettling feeling of being apart from her had set in as soon as Sylvanas had ridden off on her gryphon. Despite all that had gone down between them, she still loved her. It could not be helped. Praying that time apart would remove that feeling, Jaina turned to face the mages she and Khadgar had been allocated.

They stood before a group of about thirty of Azeroth's greatest mages who awaited their formation training, but neither of them spoke.

Jaina sighed and clapped her hands together. "Right, so can we please divide you guys by specialisation? Frost to the left, fire to the right and arcane in the middle".

To Jaina's surprise, the distribution between the three groups were quite even.

That afternoon they spent training for hours until sunset. She still had not spoken a word with Khadgar.

"I think that is enough! We shall have a rest, then we attack!" First Arcanist Thalyssra shouted and received applause from the army.

"Jaina? May I have a word in private please?" A voice behind her asked.

Jaina was surprised the archmage was finally talking to her. Not being able to come up with an excuse, she nodded hesitantly.

The two of them stepped over to a peaceful little area with a large rock between some trees at the edge of one of the many wooden areas in Suramar.

"Are you back? Or can we expect you to bail whenever you find it suitable again?" Khadgar was firm in his voice. It slightly frightened Jaina. She had never heard him like this. Well, except for when he attempted to almost attack her in Dalaran after she returned from Undercity last time.

"I never bailed, Khadgar. I just stepped down as the leader of the Kirin Tor. I lead us to the defeat of the Emerald Nightmare. I lead the attack on Helya, who you will be pleased to know is dead by the way, and now I am here to defeat Gul'dan. I have done more than many!"

Khadgar scoffed. "Rubbish! The Banshee Queen led both the Nightmare and the attack on Helya. You chose deceased people over your own! You simply followed like a puppet. What have become of you Jaina? I used to respect you. Now you tail a dead person who you are supposedly in love with?"

"First of all, she is no longer dead! And second of all…" She paused and exhaled.

"Have you ever been in love Khadgar?" She stared hard and long on the Archmage.

After a few seconds he looked down and shrugged.

"You would know if you had. Because when you are, nothing else matters, but that one person in your life. No matter how much shit they have done, regardless of how much you disagree with them. I fell for her like I've never fallen before, Khadgar. Nothing compares to what I feel for her. It was unexpected and sudden yes, but it happened nevertheless. She hurt me bad too, you saw me at my worst. But we fought for what we had, made sacrifices. A taste was all I needed, I think I will love her to the end of my time".

Khadgar raised an eyebrow as Jaina's rambling had gone on but her eyes widened. She looked up with a stunned expression.

"How could I be so stupid… I love her!"

It was like she heard it loud and clear for the first time. She loved Sylvanas. She would always love her. She just realised that no time apart could ever erase that.

"Jaina..." The archmage started wanted to speak, but Jaina stopped him.

"I have to go! Nice chat though Khadgar yeah?" Jaina patted the archmage on his shoulder and spun around and ran towards camp.

She crashed into Tyrande as she was not even watching where she was running.

"Oy, hi there, where are you going in such a hurry, my friend?"

"I have to find her. I will be back though I promise! Wait for me. Please. Wait one day with the assault. For me".

Tyrande looked at her first a little worried and studied Jaina's face filled with desperation.

The priestess sighed but nodded. "We can delay one day. But that's all. Now go, find the Warchief. Follow your heart, friend and may Elune be with you".

Jaina burst into a huge smile and threw her arms around Tyrande Whisperwind and hugged her hard.

"Thank you, my friend, Elune be praised".