Disclaimer: I don't know Naruto. What? I could? Well if you say so then sure, I'd be happy to download these clearly shady documents off the internet on this random unprotected website I found. What could possibly go wrong? *And then bad things happened, The End*


Chapter 5 – The Various Stories of Scattered Idiots

For the first time, as Naruto stared at his collection of mind-made clones, he found himself with a peculiar feeling. His eye twitched and he stared at them all with a disapproving scowl despite nearly half of them ignoring him entirely. Yes, for the first time he found a new kinship with Iruka whenever he'd been forced to pull Naruto and the other troublemakers in the class to lecture them.

Iruka never would have guessed that sweet comeuppance would have come so soon.

"So, let me get this straight…" Naruto said slowly, pointing slowly at Tonkotsu with a twitch in his eye. "You got into a random argument, caused property damage, and then ran away without paying for it."

"To be fair, it was technically minor property damage." Tonkotsu said, looking remarkably proud of himself. He still had some dust on his shoulders, which he seemed to be leaving intentionally on his shoulder just to piss Naruto off. "And it wasn't my fault."

"And you –" Naruto turned to Miso, who was blushing and avoiding eye contact with anyone. "Instigated the whole thing in the first place."

"It was Ino's fault!" She tried to say, but as soon as she made eye contact with him her head dropped and she looked ashamed. "It seemed fun at the time…"

"And you…" Naruto stared at Negi, who was completely straight faced about the whole thing over the scroll he'd picked up. With a groan, Naruto dropped his head into his hands. "What did you even do?"

"I embarrassed everyone." Negi said, a small hint of pleasure in his eyes. Naruto squinted at him, as though trying to squeeze out more information, but he couldn't get anything more out of him.

"Haha." Memna smirked and pointed at them as he spoke with a sing-song tone. "You guys got in trouble~"

"And YOU." Memna flinched and straightened at that, suddenly sweating bullets at the tone of voice. Every one of them knew the tone and had the same reaction until they realized it wasn't aimed at them. "What the hell were you doing that made you dispel back into my head screaming about how you were going to have a rematch with, and I quote, 'you giant furball'?!"

Memna seemed to consider that, and Naruto could almost feel the lie he was trying to form. Considering how similar the two were, it wasn't that surprising. Seeing Naruto crossing his arms, Memna slowly shrugged.

"I got ambushed?"

"By what?!"

"Would you believe, giant tigers?"

Naruto deadpanned at that. "Bullshit."

"But it was!" Memna said childishly, rubbing his chest irritably. "I was kicking ass and taking names until they showed up and started beating me around like a ball of yarn."

"There aren't any tigers in Konoha though." Tonkotsu raised a brow, looking down at his hands. "I mean, if there were I'd be looking to see if I could beat one up myself. Tigers are badasses, and I need to steal that from them."

"Actually, there are a few habitat areas where certain animals can roam freely seeing how they're far too dangerous to have outside of a protected habitat." Negi said, looking over the scroll again. Naruto had almost forgotten that he had those still, but he certainly wasn't going to complain since it meant someone got some use out of them. "It's not that far of a stretch to imagine there are some tigers around here somewhere."

"Really?" Miso asked, her eyes sparkling slightly. "Aren't they like big cats? Aw, I bet they're cute!"

"If you think pouncing out of hell to try and kill you 'cute' then yeah, they totally were." Memna rubbed the back of his neck, leaning back against the wall. "Being paralyzed for even a bit was a pain in the ass. Remind me to keep a closer eye out for plants that do that, it's too much of a hassle."

"It might also be a good reminder to learn to, you know, dodge?" Negi said idly, seeming quietly pleased to get an angry reaction from Memna.

Naruto rubbed his forehead, trying not to scream in outrage. So many things had gone sideways when they'd gotten away from him, and he clearly didn't have any idea what had even happened. Glancing back up, he noticed Shoyu trying to scratch at himself with his foot. Groaning, he motioned Shoyu over and grunted in wide-eyed surprise when Shoyu scooted over and let his head fall quickly into his lap. It was an almost endearing image, had Shoyu not put him through such sudden pain at the same time.

"Well, at least we learned a little bit." Tonkotsu flexed his hand, looking back to Memna before pointing to his black eye. "We can take a hit."

"I could've told you that." Miso said, rubbing her lip. "I bit it really hard earlier. It's weird how easy it is to forget how unpleasant pain is."

Having finally gotten over the sudden startling pain, Naruto rubbed the back of his neck, the stress of this all was unbelievable. And he only had to deal with five of them! Groaning softly, Naruto ran his fingers through Shoyu's hair as he gave them a flat look. "That's…good? Why is that good again?"

"It means we can surprise people if we chose not to henge first." Negi moved his scroll slightly, unraveling it further. "Kakashi-sensei showed us how shadow clones aren't supposed to take too much."

"…to be fair he didn't show us just how much they could take either." Tonkotsu said, glancing back to Naruto with a grin that promised future pain for someone. "We should test that soon!"

"Later. I – later Tonkotsu!" Naruto snapped, getting the overly eager Tonkotsu to pout. "I want to hear what happened from the top."

"Fine. Well, it all started when –"

"Oi!" Memna shouted, kicking Tonkotsu. "I wanna go first!"

"But my story is definitely cooler!"

"You got kicked in the face and almost passed out." Miso deadpanned, getting Tonkotsu to flinch and laugh in embarrassment. "Unless you forgot, I was there to see it all. And personally, I wanna hear about the tigers!"

"Ha!" Memna leaned against the wall, looking quite pleased with himself.

"No, wait!" Tonkotsu jabbed a finger at Negi. "Come on, say you wanna hear my story first!"

"I want to hear your story first." Negi said, the lack of tone to his voice making everyone sweatdrop. Clearly he had no interest in either story; he was just responding so that they wouldn't get pushy with him.

Naruto shook his head, turning to Memna. "You know what, Memna, you go first. You'll probably have the least things to talk about since you were just chased by tigers –"

"Aw man!"

"So why don't you go first?"

"Booyah!" Memna punched a fist in the air before shifting himself as he prepared for the story. "Okay, so, I know what you're thinking; 'how did all this happen?'"

"The thought had crossed my mind."

"Well, it all started when I went on a stroll through the forest…"

Memna

When one enters the Forest of Death, one does so with the knowledge that anything and everything has the possibility of killing you. That's not to say everything will kill you, just that it has the potential. And sometimes something simply having the potential to do so can be a startling when something actually fulfills one's expectations.

Except for when one has no expectations.

As such, Memna was not disappointed when, shortly after throwing himself into the forest he was swarmed by leeches. Not small ones either, but large, and very hungry leeches that appeared to hunt him. While he wasn't the most physically fit – he blamed Naruto – he was more than capable of scrambling through the branches with them falling around him. Luckily they weren't able to move very quickly after falling around him, which meant he ended up laughing wildly as he darted deeper in.

Then he'd struggled to dodge through tree snares; a large group of vines that, upon even the slightest touch, attempted to snap him up and tie him to the tree. There was a surprising lack of bones or anything of which to indicate that they were a threat, which might've been scary to think about were he not having so much fun. It was a giant obstacle course that if he failed would have obvious consequences.

Memna took a deep breath, looking at over the forest. The forest smell kinda killed the smell of bloody murder that was supposed to be there, but there was still an edge to it. Mysterious, haunting, and with the idle feeling of some pair of eyes on him at all times.

It smelt like his new stomping grounds.

Jumping down to the forest floor, his eyes snapped to the side as something rustled in the underbrush. Pulling out a kunai, he spun it idly before holding it in a reverse grip and took a defensive stance. The louder it got, the larger his grin grew until it was almost splitting his face. Here it came, what monstrosity was –

Memna deadpanned as a tiny little squirrel popped out of the underbrush, squeaking and doing cute things that made it look adorable. "Damn it, I was hoping you were something big and hideous as hell."

Groaning, he put his kunai away and knelt near it. Watching it scurry around, he held out his hand. To his shock, it simply ran up and scurried up his arm, perching on his shoulder. He raised an eyebrow at it, then smirked.

"Well, at least no one can't say you're not a badass. No fear whatsoever. I like that!"

Picking up some seeds, he handed them up to the squirrel who ate them with gusto. Staring at it, he slowly narrowed his eyes. This place had insects of death, plants of death, and…squirrels. What in the ever good hell was there just a random squirrel there? Slowly poking it, he frowned.

"Okay. You've got some deep dark secrets don'tcha? What are you hiding? What bones do you have in your closet?"

The squirrel said nothing – obviously – but it appeared smart enough to understand something of what he was saying as it looked at him. Or maybe he was just being drawn in by those big googly eyes. Dumb cute things trying to lull him into a false sense of security.

Scratching it under its chin, it let out a peeping-type noise before eating another seed. Deciding that staying still was boring, he pressed onwards into the forest. Looking back and forth, he kept his eyes out for any other sort of trap or animal that might attempt to jump and pounce on him. The more he moved in though, he suddenly found his eye twitching violently before he finally threw his head back and screamed.

"AH! How can a place so full of things that should kill me turn out to be so damn boring?" Memna shouted. Panting softly, he glanced to the squirrel who was still nestled on his shoulder. "What the hell…what do you want?"

The squirrel looked at him with those big eyes, so innocent, so pure. He didn't buy that for a moment. He certainly couldn't prove it, but damn it all he didn't believe it either! It was acting to cute, and there was no way –

Memna paused as he heard something snap I the undergrowth in front of him. Turning slowly, he pulled out a kunai again and stalked forwards. Moving some of the brush away, he saw a clearing that screamed 'danger' and set his nerves on edge. Grinning, he looked through it, trying to make sense of what he was seeing.

There was a group of tigers there, lounging and relaxing near a river. It actually took him a moment to see them despite their orange fur coloring. Their black strips actually did a pretty good job of camouflaging them, his eye slipping away from them occasionally before he'd caught sight of them. It was clever, impressive, and scary. If he hadn't caught sight of them, they would've…

Wait, hadn't he just screamed near them? Why weren't they reacting?

And then he recalled that he'd heard something snap from this direction. Seeing how all of the other tigers were over by the river that meant that there was another that had moved around. None of them appeared to have moved too much, though they were beginning to stir and turn towards his direction. When he prepared to move back, a shadow in the brush directly in front of him made him freeze as the form of a massive tiger stalked closer to him.

"Oh clever…" Memna inwardly mused, slowly stepping back. His squirrel friend had leapt from his shoulder and taken off into the trees – "Traitor!" – and as such he was left staring down the tiger on his own.

Well, no time like the present to see what he could do. Pulling out a kunai, he hopped back and shifted onto his toes as he stared down the creature, its gleaming yellow eyes seeming to pierce the shadows effortlessly as it continued slowly forwards. It did pause when it noticed that he hadn't run away, but then he had his moments where he was an exceptional moron just like his creator.

"Come at me bro." Memna said, spinning the kunai every so often. When it didn't try to hit him, he scowled and launched himself into an attack. It seemed unperturbed by the attack as it shifted its weight back and let the blade swipe in front of it harmlessly. "Oh cheeky –"

Launching itself forwards, it knocked Memna onto his back and attempted to pin him down. Using a quick replacement with a rock, he slipped out from beneath it before jumping at it from the side. Despite having the clear advantage of surprise, the tiger had been less surprised than he'd hoped and spun to face him. With blurring speed, Memna suddenly found himself flying through the brush and tumbling through them until he slammed into a tree.

Staring at the tiger, Memna growled and tried to get back up to fight it. He wasn't down for the count yet! He…he…couldn't feel his body.

It was the most disturbing feeling. One second he'd been okay, the next his head had been hit by a tiger and sent slamming into a tree, and now he couldn't feel anything from the neck down. Blinking, the tiger stalked closer, seeming wary of him as it stalked closer. Memna scowled, wanting to get so much as a twitch from himself. Getting nothing from himself, he figured that he might've hit some kind of paralytic plant or something. One of the plants maybe? He'd have to check it again the next time he came back here, since his adventure here had seemingly come to an end.

"Well…this was fun." Memna said as the tiger hovered over him. Kami, he wished he had even one hand so he could flip it off before he left. "Later sucker."

Dispelling his clone body, he took some solace that, in the last seconds of his ability to see, the tiger looked completely and utterly stupefied.

Present time

All of them frowned at that, staring at Memna as he stared at the ceiling. He seemed like someone with a wounded pride, but also someone who'd been bitten by a dog he planned to outrun the next time he saw it. Realizing everyone was looking at him, he slowly pointed at himself. "Is there something on my face?"

"No~" Miso said, blinking rapidly. "But, you found a place with giant leeches, evil trees, tigers, and…friendly squirrels? What kind of training area is it?"

"I dunno." Memna shrugged. "I've gotta find it again soon as I get the chance."

Everyone – Shoyu for obvious reasons – face planted at that before Naruto jabbed a finger at him. "you mean you don't even know where it was?"

"Nope. I was just randomly jumping through the training grounds till I came across one that seemed cool. I don't remember which way I went or even how long it took. I just kinda ran and ran with it."

"You idiot." Miso pouted, looking away from him, clearly disgruntled. "I wanted to see the tigers…now I have to wait."

"Oh come on Miso, don't be like that." Memna wiggled his eyebrows, leaning forwards. "If you want a tiger, I could –" WHAM. "Ow! Damn it my nose!"

Memna fell back, flailing as he held his face to keep from bleeding. On the floor, Shoyu had his foot raised where he'd somehow thrown his shoe at Memna's face. "Bad boy. No bed bouncing."

"Um…" Naruto blinked, staring down at Shoyu with confusion. Slowly, he pat Shoyu's head. "Okay? Good job?"

"Yes, good job!" Miso said, smirking at Memna's flailing form. Getting up, she disappeared into the kitchen. After a few minutes, she returned with a plate of reheated dumplings and tossed one to Shoyu who leaned forward and snapped it up. "Good boy. Keep that up and you'll get more treats."

Naruto raised a brow, pointing to the dumpings. "Where'd you get those from?"

"I ate with Team 10." She popped another into her mouth, sighing in content. "They were kind enough to let me take the leftovers home."

"Oh, okay."

"So, speaking of," Negi said, pointing to Tonkotsu. "What was it that happened to you? You seemed all too eager to tell us."

"No!" Miso shouted. All eyes on her, she flinched back in on herself self-consciously. "I-I mean, why not Negi first? He said he embarrassed us…"

"True, but that just means I have the most boring story." Negi rolled up and put the scroll away, now giving his full attention to the clone-girl. "So tell us, what's got you all flustered?"

"I'll tell you!" Tonkotsu said, slapping his hands on his knees excitedly. "It all began when Lee and I finished doing our five hundred pushups! It was hard, but we were barely tired at all as we finally decided to do an amazing five laps around Konoha. As we were finishing a lap, we –"

"Shut up!" Miso shouted, punching him in the side and getting him to double over.

"My spleen!" Tonkotsu yelled, groaning in pain. "Oh, I think it hurts more than it should!"

Naruto glanced down at Shoyu, who just shrugged before he turned back. "Uh, you okay?"

"Yes, because it's totally worth it." Tonkotsu grinned, looking to Miso triumphantly. "You can't stop me forever. Just take your lumps and let me have my fun."

Miso didn't like that, and she growled before shoving another dumpling in her mouth as she looked away. Taking that as permission, Tonkotsu straightened and turned back to the rest of them to tell his tale.

Tonkotsu (also *Miso*)

Tonkotsu was going to kill Naruto. He was going to exhaustedly fall flat on his face, and smother the hell out of him. And then he was going to tie something to Naruto, lay on that, and get him to do this insane training Lee was putting him through as an apology for almost smothering him.

Oh he was having the time of his life with the training, that wasn't the issue. The issue was the fact that he suddenly realized that, while he was a clone and as such not Naruto, for some reason he still had mimicked Naruto's physical attributes and as such the only thing he wasn't struggling with was his stamina. He couldn't find any way to make his balance better or strength stronger, and he wasn't able to keep up with Lee. Lee, for his part, was very encouraging and simply increased how quickly he moved his legs to compensate for the lack of speed before eventually just keeping a more casual pace with Tonkotsu by his side.

Tonkotsu came to a startling realization as he ran around with Lee. Konoha, was big. Extraordinarily big actually. And Lee wanted to keep running around the village? Multiple times? And then do pushups and kicks?

Lee was now officially Tonkotsu's hero.

They even held a conversation for a bit as they ran. Lee told him a little bit about the Springtime of Youth, his teacher, his eternal rival Hyuuga Neji, and his usual training regime. While Lee did offer Tonkotsu several chances to talk about himself, he always made sure to have more questions about Lee to get him to go into another youthful bout of excitement.

In a way, he couldn't answer Lee's questions. His fragmented piece of Naruto's mind had integrated well, but it left him with only Naruto's information. He only knew things that Naruto had known, and as such he didn't know what it was okay to talk about or not. Towards the end of their first lap though, Lee finally asked a question he felt he was able to answer.

"Hey, Tonkotsu-san?" Lee turned to his running companion, not breaking stride in the slightest. "If I may ask, why have you chosen to become the self-proclaimed 'fighting monster'?"

"Hm?" Tonkotsu blinked at that, considering how to answer that. The memory of that choice was something that was more of a personal choice, rather than something Naruto had thought right? "Well, it's something that I thought of after listening to some of the adults in the village. They talked about monsters all the time, like they were afraid." He felt his lips slowly curl into a feral smirk. "And I wanted that."

"Eh?" Lee blinked, coming to a complete stop and forcing Tonkotsu to do the same. "But-but Tonkotsu-san, why would you want to become something that is feared?"

"Well…" Tonkotsu froze, the words on the tip of his tongue before he'd caught them. That reason was a personal choice, one that Naruto had long forgotten. While no one would remember it, he didn't want to risk the chance. Thinking it over, he remembered the other reasons he had and picked one of the less conspicuous of them. "There are some people who I…consider myself close to. My teammates in a way. And, they deserve someone who can help them who their enemies will be scared of."

Lee perked up at that, eyes shining with an intensity as he listened intently to Tonkotsu. "I see. You must be a most honorable of people!"

"No, not really." Tonkotsu stretched, wincing as he felt the tightness in his chest as his breathing was slightly difficult from the run. "I want to be a monster after all. I'm like, the pet of the group. Well, actually no that's Shoyu, but he shouldn't count. He's the…mascot maybe? No, that's not – I'm getting distracted. Look, I want people to see me as a monster because if I'm a monster no one will mess with me, and if they won't mess with me then they won't mess with them either."

"I see." Lee nodded, then he brightened with tears suddenly springing from his eyes. "So you truly are a hero for your teammates! You seek to become strong, so strong that people will recognize the strength you've obtained and watch as you protect them." Tonkotsu jumped Lee spontaneously burst into flames. "Yosh! Truly you are brimming with the flames of youth!"

"I…am?" Tonkotus asked, staring at Lee. How had he made himself immune to fire?

"Of course!" Lee's eyes lost their shine as he became serious, the flames dying down as well. "Tonkotsu-san, you have chosen a most noble of desires! To become strong as you can through hard work and dedication! No one can simply do as you have said, and as such you must strive with all fullness of body and mind to achieve your goals! Truly you have such an amazing amount of youth!"

"I beg to differ…" Tonkotsu thought, remembering how Naruto had been treated throughout the years. And yet, he was moved by the gesture. This person, who he'd just met, had such faith in him. "Bushy Brows…"

"Tonkotsu-san…"

"Bushy Brows!"

"Tonkotsu!"

"Bushy Brows!"

"Tonkotsu!"

Lee pulled him into a hug, which Tonkotsu gladly accepted with the fervent strength of a shadow clone doing its very best to return the strong affection Lee showed him. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath. Wow, so this is what hugs and acceptance felt like. And it smelt like an ocean breeze, with the accompanying sound of waves crashing on a beach as the two of them basked in the light of the setting sun.

Wait, there was still a while until sundown wasn't there?

Opening his eyes, he found himself transfixed in what appeared to be some kind of sunset genjutsu. Freezing in place, he slowly looked around worriedly.

"…Bushy Brows?"

"Yes Tonkotsu-san?"

"…what the hell just happened?"

Lee blinked and let go, looking at the sunset before it quickly faded away. "Ah, forgive me. When the flames of youth burn ever so brightly between two people, the world allows a reprieve so that they might be able to bask in the flames of their youth! That way all those around who witness it might have their eyes opened to the strength of hard work and perseverance that two people share!"

"Ah, of course!" Tonkotsu nodded sagely. "Truly that technique should be witnessed by all, that they might choose to follow in our footsteps!"

"Oh god, it burns! My eyes, my eyes!"

Tonkotsu and Lee both paused at that, turning in confusion as they saw the Ino-Shika-Cho team, better known as Team 10, and Miso who was carrying a box of takeout. Ino was making a scene and looked like she wanted to claw out her eyes. Shikamaru and Choji seemed flabbergasted by the sight of the two of them, and Miso was too busy laughing at Ino's plight.

Lee's eyes widened as he took them in, suddenly shaking Tonkotsu violently. "Tonkotsu-san, Tonkotsu-san!"

"What. Do. You. Want. Lee?" Tonkotsu asked whenever he was close enough to Lee to be heard.

"Who is that?" Lee asked, eyes staring at them, not making any move to point out which one he meant.

Tonkotsu glanced at them, looking between them for a couple seconds before grinning. "Well, the one on the left is Pineapple Head, or Shikamaru, and the one on the right is Dumpling, better known as Choji."

"Pineapple head?" Shikamaru asked, patting his hair before shrugging nonchalantly.

Choji was less pleased with his nickname. Eye twitching, he glared Tonkotsu down. "Is that a joke about my weight?"

"…what?" Tonkotsu paused, seeming genuinely confused. "I was just referencing that you're filled with snacks, why would your weight come into that?"

"…fine." Choji muttered. Since he wasn't technically wrong, he couldn't quite jump down the boy's throat. Then, pointing to his eyes, he flicked his wrist towards Tonkotsu in an 'I'm watching you' motion.

Ino slowly regained a…semblance of sanity; enough to stand up and stare at the two of them with disgust. "How could you do something like that? That…that's a travesty to fashion sense and common sense! And then to try and have that sunset? No, just…just no!"

Tonkotsu glanced to Lee to ask him if he understood what Ino was saying, but to his confusion, Lee was still completely gob smacked. "Uh, Lee? What are – ack!"

Lee dropped Tonkotsu, who was still dizzy from the shaking he'd received. Standing straight, there was a clear and obvious blush on his cheeks. "Fair lady, I wish to know your name."

Ino blinked and smirked, flipping her hair out of her face as she turned to Miso. "You see? Boys love girls like me. Clearly he can tell that you –"

"Ah, please forgive me, but I was asking the lady besides you."

Everyone went silent at that. Ino was completely horrified that, despite her more obvious feminine charm, Lee had seemingly fallen for Miso. Shikamaru showed a moment of shock, then just shrugged and let it go. Choji choked on a chip, seemingly torn between laughing and eating, requiring Miso to smack him on the back till he gave her a thumbs up indicating that he was okay. And Miso…

Tonkotsu blinked, squinting at her from the ground. Wait, was Miso blushing? She was! Oh, this was going to be something to tease her about later!

"Ah, um…" Miso said, not looking certain of what to say to that.

To be fair, none of Naruto knew how to handle someone having a crush on him. For the boys, it would have ended up with them slamming their head against something incredibly hard for having missed such a crush seeing how that person would've been their best friend instantaneously. Even if they didn't know anything about them, they'd learn.

For Miso, this was magnified exponentially. She wasn't just a piece of Naruto; she was a girl with little to no understanding of how to be herself, or how things were supposed to work in this way. Naruto had taken not of how girls acted in some ways, but he also had his own opinions on how he felt about them. Some of those were things Miso had chosen to believe as well, but most were not which simply made her more confused about herself.

And now she had to add 'met a boy who immediately called me fair lady' to her list of things she was unsure about.

"Her name is Miso and she's my teammate." Tonkotsu blurted out.

Lee paused, glancing down to Tonkotsu before pointing to her. "So, she's one of those you wish to become a monster to protect?"

Tonkotsu picked himself up, smirking as Miso seemed to be trying to doubly process everything. "Well, if you think she needs protecting." Stretching he groaned softly. "Clearly you've never been hit by a girl before Lee. They don't need protection. If anything people need protection from them."

"Hey!" Ino said, growling at his proclamation. Pausing, she looked him over suspiciously, processing his appearance.

"Well he's not wrong."

Ino glared at Miso, then suddenly pointed at Tonkotsu. "Wait! You're one of Naruto's clones!"

"What? No I'm not."

"Yes you are! He's the only person with whisker marks on his face!"

"But," Lee cut in, pointing at Miso. "Miso-chan has whisker marks on her face as well. As does Tonkotsu-san."

Everyone else was somewhat quiet about that, squinting at Lee. Most of them couldn't understand how Lee couldn't make the 'obvious' connection. Of course, that meant poor Miso was now looking incredibly confused with her eyes swirling as she turned between everyone.

"It's clearly because we're teammates." Tonkotsu said, nodding to himself. "Clearly we have these markings as a symbol of our teammate…ness."

"Good save." Ino deadpanned.

"Yosh! That makes perfect sense!"

Miso was so lucky her first crush was a bit slow to catch on to their meaning; mainly because they hadn't lied about who/what they were.

"Fair Miso-chan!" Lee gave her another thumbs up, grinning with a sparkle in his teeth, giving them their first introduction to the 'Nice Guy Pose'. "Please be my girlfriend! I vow to protect you with my life!"

Clearly struck with confusion, Miso glanced between Lee and Ino worriedly. Her entire face screamed 'what do I do?' but Ino just laughed and stepped back, leaving Miso to deal with Lee herself. In Ino's defense, Lee was not what she'd expected out of a boy with how he dressed. It just wasn't easy on the eyes, that's all. Also his eyebrows were enormous and weren't enough of a distraction from his face.

Tonkotsu, somewhat thankfully, was a good enough distraction. "Hey, I thought I told you that I was going to be scarring people away from my teammates." Cracking his knuckles, he grinned at Lee. "That includes suitors."

"I see." Lee shifted, his thumbs up becoming an upturned palm with his fingers towards the sky and his other hand behind his back. "Then if you wish to make that as a challenge, I gladly accept."

"Now we're talking!" Tonkotsu said, crouching down before launching himself at Lee.

With the barest hint of movement, Lee batted Tonkotsu to the side with a speedy smack to the back of his head. Tumbling to the ground, Tonkotsu skid to a stop and rushed him again, growling as Lee made minor hops back to avoid his hits. He was fast, very fast. Grabbing one of Tonkotsu's wayward punches, Lee pulled him closer as his other hand shot forwards and slammed into his face.

Before Tonkotsu hit the ground, Lee shifted and brought his leg around in a strong crescent into Tonkotsu's gut to bring him into the ground painfully. "Konoha Senpu (Leaf Whirlwind)!"

The impact of the blow caused a small crater to form behind and beneath Tonkotsu, who stared at the sky with wide eyes as he was suddenly launched sideways into a nearby stand, knocking over a few cabbages before coming to a complete stop.

"Tonkotsu!?" Miso blinked, the entire fight barely taking fifteen seconds. However, her worry was more for the fact that Tonkotsu shouldn't have let himself get hit seeing how his body was that of a shadow clone. It was frail, couldn't take more than one hit, and he –

"Owie…" Tonkotsu said, slowly moving to a seated position. "That hit like…well a hurricane. Did you reall have to throw me into the stand though?"

"I apologize if I hurt you Tonkotsu-san." Lee said, holding out his hand to help him up. "But I wished to show my determination, and it appears there is still much training for you to do for you to catch up with me."

Tonkotsu glanced at the hand before accepting it, gladly allowing Lee to help him to his feet. Gripping Lee's shoulder, he grinned brightly. "Heh, to be honest I wanted to test myself against your skill to see how much I have to do. And I gotta say, I'm looking forward to the training I'll be doing." Pausing, he stared at Lee in thought before nodding. "Yosh! Bushy Brows-senpai, I would be honored if you were to help me refine my skills!"

"Ooh! Tonkotsu-kohai, I would be honored to train with you when I have the time to do so!" Lee shouted, gripping his shoulder.

"Bushy Brows!"

"Tonkotsu!"

"Bushy Brows!"

"Tonkotsu!"

Then they hugged again, and Miso felt she was certain that she would be eternally embarrassed by this moment.

Present Time

Naruto nodded slowly as he took all that in. That was so much information that he didn't know what to say about anything that had been said for a moment. Luckily, there wasn't much of a silence.

"Haha, Bushy Brows!" Shoyu cackled, drumming his legs on the floor in amusement. Well, at least someone was happy.

"Yeah! I mean, they're huge!" Tonkotsu said, waving his hands at his eyes. "And they took up like half of his forehead! It was great!"

"I'm more surprised by how strong you say he was." Negi said idly, tapping his index and middle fingers together. "And, he was fast?"

"Super-fast! He smacked me in the back of the head even though I swear I didn't even see his hand move from in front of me!"

"I see." Negi pressed his hands in front of his chin. "That's…scary."

"Zoom zoom faster than the pretty bad girl (1)? Shoyu asked, getting everyone to sweat drop.

"…faster than Mizuki." Tonkotsu finally said, getting everyone's attention back on him. "He was strong too, able to kick me around no sweat."

"I see." Negi slowly put his fingers down, staring at the ground in the closest thing to aggravation they could see from him. "How is it…that Mizuki was weaker than another genin?"

Everyone was quiet at that, staring at Negi as they took that in. Looking to each other, they returned their look to Tonkotsu. Realizing he was the center of attention, he shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe he just tried to train harder than Mizuki. I mean, his normal training is five hundred laps, five hundred kicks and punches, and five laps around Konoha. I don't know what else he does, but I can tell you that he definitely deserves to be as strong as he is."

"I see…" Negi nodded slowly, then raised his hand. "All in favor of never taking a desk job say aye. Aye."

"Aye!" Everyone else said, raising their hands – except Shoyu who raised his foot.

"I'm tired." Shoyu said, his face scrunched up in confusion as he stared up at Naruto.

"It's fine Shoyu. Now, the aye's have it. We're never taking a desk job." Negi said, turning to Miso. "Now, what happened after –"

"Wait, isn't being the Hokage got a lot of desk work?"

"Hush Naruto, we have more embarrassment to enjoy. Miso, if you'd please?"

*Miso*

After escaping from a second sunset…whatever that was, Team 10 and Miso finally managed to get away and catch their breath. Miso had managed to get Shikamaru and Choji to run with them thankfully, though admittedly they were following Ino who had broken out like hell in a skirt to escape the travesty happening behind her.

Taking a deep breath, Miso leaned against a wall and sighed. That hadn't been anything like what she'd expected, and the feelings that came from that encounter.

Unlike Ino, Miso found the jumpsuit endearing. It was a statement of someone who had nothing to hide, thought she doubted some people would believe that. His eyebrows were bit of a shock, but she found that she could ignore that after seeing how endearing he tried to be. She herself wouldn't mind it, though as she thought about it, that wouldn't do her any better than she was now.

As things were, most of Team 10 still was still completely certain that she was Naruto. It was maddening! She'd told them repeatedly during the meal that her name was Miso and that she was a girl. However, Ino in particular wasn't willing to work with that. At multiple points during the meal she'd called them all 'the boys' with a pointed look at Miso. Choji was better, but he occasionally would just stare at her like he expected her to dispel and become Naruto again. Shikamaru gave up instantly and called her as she'd asked. She still felt he wasn't very helpful though seeing how he didn't help correct his teammates.

Still, Lee gave her a boost in her confidence. She had gotten better at the hip-sway movement that every girl seemed born to master, and she'd quickly realized how she sat had needed a tiny bit of work, though she eventually gave up seeing how she really didn't care how she sat since they were in a booth. The idea that Lee thought she was a 'fair lady' make her cheeks flush and brought a smile to her face.

"Oh jeez, that was so weird." Ino muttered, rubbing her eyes with her palms. "I don't think I'll ever be able to look at a sunset the same ever again. Ugh, are you guys alright?"

"Yeah." Shikamaru said, looking placidly bored. "It wasn't that big an issue Ino, they were just hugging."

"Did you not see the sunset thing they made?" Ino waved her arms back where they'd left Lee and Tonkotsu. "That was creepy! I mean, it's almost sunset yeah, but it went from zero to sunset so fast!"

"I think you're overreacting Ino." Choji muttered, eye still twitching from being called Dumpling. Who the hell just calls someone Dumpling?!

Ino's eye twitched as she stormed over to the boy, jabbing him in the chest. "I am not overreacting! It was weird, sudden, and creepy! With his bushy eyebrows, terrible fashion sense, and the other guy's haircut was terrible! Naruto must be losing his touch or something. That was actually worse than any he'd failed in the Academy!"

Miso felt her eye twitch, and she pushed herself off the wall. "Excuse me?"

Ino rolled her eyes. "Well, you at least are somewhat convincing. I mean look at you, you're try to be a girl!"

"I don't care about that at the moment." Miso said, stalking forwards. Apparently she was doing better than she thought at being a girl as her 'aura' became visible and caused the boys to scurry back a few steps to avoid the confrontation. Standing in front of Ino, she scowled. "I've taken you saying whatever you wanted about me, about my choices, and about my appearance. But do not say stuff like that about Tonkotsu and Naruto!"

Ino raise a brow at that. "But you are Naruto."

"No I'm not!" Miso threw up her hands, trying to think of something that would help convince her that she wasn't…well, the original Naruto anyways. "And even if I was, don't you think that saying stuff like that to my face would be pretty stupid?"

"Well, I was distracted by that…thing."

"It's called a sunset, and it was nice." Miso crossed her arms. She was happy that Tonkotsu had gotten a hug, and was curious to hear what was up with that particular story.

Ino stared her back, then suddenly grinned. "Ooh, do you like him~"

Miso froze, face flushing at the thought of Lee. Refocusing on Ino, she felt was able to ignore the feeling surprisingly quick as she remembered that she was supposed to be angry with Ino still. "Don't change the subject! You're insulting Naruto!"

"Well, I mean it's not like it's not true." Ino crossed her arms. "His skills haven't improved at all. And you have to admit, he –" She paused, then scowled at Miso. "You, aren't that great at transformation if we can tell who you are straight away!"

Miso's eye twitched with each thing Ino said, gritting her teeth and trying to think of a retort. Shikamaru and Choji wouldn't be any help it seemed, thought Shikamaru looked like he was trying to think about something or another. In fact, he was looking back towards where Tonkotsu was, and then back to Miso before scratching his head and muttering. Troublesome? No, that wasn't right? Impossible maybe? What was? Everything that had happened was completely possible? She –

Miso paused at that, recalling the Academy and what they should or should not know. Clones? Yes. Transformation? Yes. Both at the same time, with one not being an illusion?

"Fine." Miso said, acting dejected. Ino perked up, looking triumphant before she noticed Miso's returning smile. "If you think Naruto is so unskilled, then that means…you're worse."

"Excuse me?"

"Well," Miso motioned to herself. "If this transformation is bad, then fine. But if Tonkotsu was also Naruto, and could fight against Lee-kun without dispelling at all, then clearly we have some skill. Unless you think you can hold a transformation and make clones with physical mass that run around talking to people coherently." She flipped her hand dismissively. "But, you can obviously do that any time you want now, can't you?"

Ino scowled, glaring at Miso with her face flushed in anger. Of course, what Miso was implying wasn't lost on her, seeing how the skill required to perform such a feat was fairly high since holding a transformation after being hit was quite difficult since upon being hit the person should lose focus and let the technique fall.

As such, taking multiple hits, with at least one hard enough that they should have had difficulty getting up again after it, let alone holding a transformation. Which implied that, Tonkotsu at least, might not have been a transformed clone. There wasn't a way –

Hm, there's a thought.

Putting that idea away for later, Miso basked silently in her victory, for all of two seconds. After that, she found herself with her head spinning as she picked herself off the ground with a small bruise on her face as she turned back to Ino who was staring at her with her arm outstretched. "Um…what the hell Ino?"

Ino looked just as surprised, though for a completely different reason. "Why didn't it dispel? Everything says it should, so why…?"

Miso pushed herself to her feet, eyes glaring bloody murder as she stalked forwards. Before she could hit Ino back, she froze. Not of her own volition, but from some outside force that held her in place. Her eyes darting wildly, she didn't realize what was going on until she saw Shikamaru raise his hands and she found herself mimicking his actions. How in the hell?

"Hey now, let's not do anything hasty." He said with the oddest hint of sharpness to his voice. Was he trying to reprimand her, or warn her? Following his motions, she was startled when she realized he was getting her to pick up her food. "We're all friends here. Besides, it'd be to troublesome to keep fighting since you clearly didn't dispel." Groaning, he turned to Ino. "Ino, why don't you apologize to Miso? It seems she was telling the truth after all."

"What?" Ino pointed at Miso accusingly. "There's no way that's not Naruto! I mean, everything about her is almost exactly like his so called 'sexy technique', and –"

"My boobs are smaller."

"Hush you! And he clearly is trying to spy on us for some reason. I mean, why else would he show up in like this, and try to…uh…" Ino paused, turning back to Miso who had a growing tick mark on her head.

"Try to…what exactly?" Miso asked through clenched teeth. "I joined you guys for food because you invited me! I was just minding my own business before falling off that roof near you, which was completely by accident! And what would I want from you Ino? In case you've forgotten, Naruto was always asking Sakura on a date, not you."

Ino flinched slightly at that, her fist clenching as though she were going to hit her again. Thankfully Choji intervened, albeit hesitantly. Truthfully she looked like she might try to hit him too if he tried turning her away from Miso.

Shikamaru though had picked up on what was most likely going on. "Ino, do you really believe that?"

"What?" Ino snapped, eyes not leaving Miso's.

"That Sakura-san would be low enough to send Naruto, or any kind of person, to spy on you?" Shikamaru scratched the back of his neck, which of course meant Miso did the same. "Troublesome. Ino, Naruto isn't the kind of person who'd help Sakura do this, just to make sure that you don't get your 'chance to shine' as you've put it."

Ino flushed at that, getting Miso to blink in confusion. "Um, what do you mean?"

"I mean she thinks Sakura sent you to see if Ino had failed or passed the exam, to let her know if her 'rival' was still in the running for Sasuke." Shikamaru said, making sure to air quote "rival" seeing how he thought the whole thing was silly. Bad enough to have a regular rival, with the fighting and the competing, let alone fighting over another person. It all sounded far too troublesome to him.

"Oh." Miso stared at Ino for a second before laughing. It was not a happy laugh; more berating and annoyed than anything. "Wow, really? That's what – really? Is that what you've been thinking this whole time?"

"Well it's not that farfetched." Ino muttered. She relaxed a bit more, though Choji still kept a hand on her shoulder. "Forehead never was the brightest person in class."

"She was kunochi of the year." Miso said with a harsh snap of her voice. "Maybe not practical but don't say she wasn't smart. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses."

"Whatever. Look, even she wouldn't be so dumb as to just forget about our rivalry just because we're all split into different teams now right? I mean –" Ino cut herself off, shaking her head. "Nevermind. Shika, let her go. I'm going home."

Shikamaru did let Miso go eventually, though he waited a moment to watch Ino as she shrugged off Choji's hand and stormed off first. With a sigh, he shook his head, watching her leave with a far off look. "She's still not too happy about that."

"About what?" Miso asked, moving her body experimentally. Being pinned in place by nothing was a very new feeling, and one she found she didn't really enjoy.

"…did Sasuke not tell you guys?" Shikamaru curiously raised a brow when Miso shook her head. "Well, after everyone was given their team assignments and went on break, we found where he was. And, despite our trying to talk her out of it, she went over to talk to the broody guy."

That was certainly new information to Miso. "What'd he say?"

Shikamaru shrugged. "How would I know? I kept my distance from them and just kinda watched."

"She didn't look to happy with whatever it was though." Choji said, eyes still watching Ino's departing form. "I think she was expecting a different answer to…whatever she asked. Sasuke didn't even seem to notice how upset he made her. Guy just, went back to doing his own thing."

"…I see." Miso muttered, rubbing her cheek where Ino had hit her. "And…well that was just yesterday. She must be taking it really hard."

"That's kinda what overemotional people do." Shikamaru paused, looking rather annoyed with something. "Though, honestly she's a little out of character because of it. Hopefully she snaps out of it soon. She's a bit of a drag when she's being bossy, but at least then we know she's okay, you know?"

"I…" Miso let that thought sink in, eying where Ino had finally disappeared into the crowed. No, she didn't quite know how that was seeing how Naruto hadn't known much about such things before either. Shrugging, she sighed dejectedly. "No, not really, but I think I get some of it at least."

Shikamaru raised a brow at that, but said nothing more about it. He'd apparently gotten what he wanted to say out, and had finished for now. Shoving his hands into his pockets, he walked off.

Choji however, paused and gave her a big grin. "We should do this again sometime. Without the whole 'Ino punching you' thing, obviously. But it was…a lot of fun hanging out with you Miso."

Miso glanced to Choji with a confused look, the grinned widely. "Heh, yeah I guess it was pretty fun. I still say I ate more meat than you did."

"Hah!" Choji smirked, a glint to his eyes as he recalled their 'bout' in the restaurant. "If you hadn't knocked my chopsticks around it would have been a sure thing. My meat eating skills are far and beyond what you could possibly imagine!"

"Doubtful. You grabbed a few extra pieces than me with each bite, but my chopsticks were faster than you could handle." She made a motion with her hands like she was snapping up a piece of invisible meat. "Eating ramen, whose noodles never give you a second if you aren't quick, will do that."

Choji laughed heartily, patting her on the shoulder. "Exactly! Maybe next time we'll treat you to ramen!" Turning to go, he gave her a quick wave. "See you Miso-chan!"

"I'll hold you to that!" She shouted after him, laughing despite the tense atmosphere that had hung just a moment before. Sighing to herself, she began walking off, though not before making an observation of a minor annoyance as she left. "Next time I need to remember pockets in this look."

Present Time

The rest of them all stared at Miso with a bit of confusion as she finished relaying the tale, each of them trying to process what she'd said towards the end.

"So~ what you're saying is, Sasuke blew her off so she thought hitting you was okay?" Memna asked, his eyes somewhat shadowed as he spoke. He looked like he was ready to bounce back to his feet and go after the girl to knock some sense into her.

"I say we go show her how 'Naruto' we really are." Tonkotsu said, only to be pulled back down by Miso.

"Wow, that's incredibly pathetic." Negi said, getting a sweat drop from the rest of them. He certainly wasn't one to try to pull punches or mince words, that was for sure. "So she got blown off by Sasuke and she decides to take it out on others. Does she no know that's just how Sasuke is? I mean I said it before, he needs to make up his damn mind; remake his clan, or kill a 'certain man'. Also, does anyone know who says stuff like that? That's the most conceited sounding bullshit I can't think of anything more so. Well, I could, but I don't want to because it'd be impossibly boring."

Naruto blinked, trying to take all this in as he thought that through. And…was it just him or was he starting to get dizzy? Or was it tired, he couldn't tell. "Look, let's just leave Ino alone. Sasuke's not a problem, he's our teammate."

"Yeah, one holding back a lot of secrets." Negi said, rolling the scroll he'd been reading between his hands slowly. "I'm honestly not a fan of secrets like that."

"We literally have the Kyuubi no Kitsune sealed inside Naruto." Memna pointed out, causing Negi to pause. "Whatever it is, he can keep that secret to himself for now until we get something that actually is worth bringing up to learn his secret."

Tonkotsu and Miso glanced at each other, seeming to wince slightly at that. It was true after all. If Naruto wasn't okay with telling his secrets, then they really didn't have much of a place to dig into his secrets. Then again, their secret didn't affect the team in the same way, did it?

Naruto nodded at that, his head seeming to bob slightly heavier than normally, with more difficulty getting up. "Yeah…*yawn* that does sound about right."

"Oh come on Naruto," Tonkotsu said with a smirk, punching Naruto's shoulder gently. "It's not that late. Besides, you and Negi still have to tell us what happened to you two!"

"I'm not saying." Negi said, putting the scroll away before pulling out another. "It was a private matter of me telling all your dirty secrets and embarrassing everyone around who I could speak with. Hardly the challenge I expected it to be."

"…oh come on, there's gotta be more than that." Memna said with a scowl. "We told you what we did, now spill."

"I'm sorry, I wasn't under the impression that I needed to tell my story."

"Why you little –"

"Uh-oh."

Everyone paused when Shoyu suddenly spoke. He was completely still, eyes wide as he stared upwards. He'd been remarkably calm and in control for the talks, not interrupting like they might've expected. Now he was looking incredibly distressed, shifting and squirming in discomfort over…something.

"Shoyu? Hey, come on now, what's up?" Naruto asked, trying to pat his head again since that seemed to calm him before. Instead, Shoyu just shook his head violently. "Uh, okay, what's up?"

Shoyu began muttering something, getting the other four to lean back slightly in discomfort. Of them, Shoyu was the least stable – obviously – but then, they knew the reasons why. In their minds, for Shoyu to begin whispering and muttering in such a way likely didn't mean anything good. Negi was the only one to freeze, as he was also the only one paying attention who actually began to understand what was hidden under his words.

Naruto, not knowing or caring, stared at the poor fragment of his mind as he tried to help him calm down. "Hey now, calm down, what's wrong?"

"Off, no more, stop." Shoyu muttered as he thrashed, his brow furrowed in visible distress.

"Stop? Stop what?" Naruto leaned over Shoyu to look him in the eye. "Come on man, give me something to work –"

Shoyu's eyes widened when Naruto leaned over him and before he moved, Naruto swore he saw a look of determination on his face. Then, with a spasmic motion, Shoyu launched his head out of Naruto's lap and slammed his forehead against Naruto's with enough force to cause Naruto to flip back and slam his head a second time against the floor before he was still; most likely unconscious from the sudden sharp impact.

The others all stared at what had just happened for a half a second. Then, they were all suddenly dispelled into clouds of smoke, and the apartment was left in silence for the night.


AN: Well, that's one way to finally go to sleep. But dearest Shoyu, would you like to explain why you - oh. Oh you're unconscious? And you're in Naruto's head? Well.

They'll find out about what happened soon enough, so don't worry about that. Actually, you might want to. The reason is actually a bit more dangerous than one may think (not mentally, but in another way). Cookies for those who can guess what it is~

Also, before anyone says anything about Ino, Shika already said it. Unlike in the anime, where after being put on teams Naruto eventually ran off and jumped Sasuke, Sasuke was left alone during the break. Which I thought was silly since Ino was clearly able to see him from her vantage and without 'Forehead' to get in the way, I figured she'd be all to eager to drop down at some point to say hi. The response she got though has her a bit on the bitter side at the moment, so don't blame her; it's only been a day after all.

Also Negi is lying through his teeth.

ANYWAYS~ let's see how the polls are looking!


Possible pairing

Naruto/Hina/Haku/Karin 3

Naru/Haku 9

Naru/Hina 9

Naru/Tenten 2

No pairing 1 (That vote was a surprise)

Live or Die?

Zabuza live/die: 5/3

Haku live/die: 10/1

Haku's Gender

Haku boy/girl/undetermined: 0/8/1

Harem

Yes/No: 3/6


From the look of things, people are fighting really hard between Haku and Hinata; both of which I can understand/respect. I've shipped Hinata with Naruto myself, though I am looking for other options seeing how often NaruHina is written. I'm still amazed though at how it's going though.

Also, after this chapter, depending on the votes, I'll have made up my mind on harem or not. If you can't already tell where it looks like it's leaning...the poll and the reviews say it all.

As for the story, what happened at the end to set Shoyu off? Find out next time! *cackles and runs off to write more From Darkness so my fans don't kill me*