I'm sorry it's taken so long for this chapter but thank you for bearing with me as this month has been crazy but I should be able to start getting chapters out once a week maybe more but I am not giving up on this story... Little warning this chapter is sad because it's setting up for some up coming chapters

Jace's Pov

Two months I have been in the hospital sitting with Mason as he got chemo and fought for his life, I don't know how Clary did this all alone for two years, I felt like I was going to break down after two weeks, seeing him go through this was hard, last week they had to put him on a breathing machine because he was having difficulties breathing and and then his heart stopped I never felt that in my entire life the pain and panic I went through in those moments before I heard the steady beeps of his heartbeat again, Clary and I stayed in the room one of us was always in the room and if the other needed to leave we would switch we didn't want him to be alone. I heard someone whimper I sat up and seen Mason was awake he looked at me with his big golden eyes looking at me he was tapping the tube that was going into his mouth I quickly stood up and practically ran to the nearest nurse to tell them he was awake and wanted it out.

"Mason.." I heard Clary say so softly that I felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest.

Once they finally got everything out off of him after doing some test he was looking around the room he still hadn't said a word but then he looked over to Clary. "I was so tired mommy, I just wanted to sleep but i'm not done yet." He said and Clary started to cry as she moved closer to me and pulled him to her kissing his bald head.

"I love you so, so, so much. Mommy knows how tired you are Mas I know." He started to breath a little hard and Clary leaned over and got a mask and put it over his head. "It's okay to be tired I know how hard you have to fight. It's okay baby boy." She leaned down and whispered something in his ear and he lifted his hand up slowly and brushed his hand through her hair ever so slightly.

He fell asleep against her his heavy breathing and the steady monitor beeping was the only thing keeping me at peace right now. I wanted to say something to Clary but I didn't know what, I could only look at her as she held our son. I didn't know what to do if anything happened to him, being here and getting to know him it seemed like this was the new normal, but if he was to leave I don't know how I can manage having to bury such a beautiful and handsome little boy. Who hadn't even had the chance to live, he's been in a hospital for most of his life this wasn't a way for someone to live let alone a kid. I always thought about having kids and never in my wildest dreams would the scenario have ever played in my head, I use to dream what it would be like if Clary and I did ever have kids, i'd want to live in a big house with a few animals and have our kids running around all playing together swimming laughing having a good time, not having to worry about cancer or anything bad everything would be happy and we would all be okay.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when Mason started to couch I didn't want to think about the fact that this could be the end, that soon my son could be dead, the word was ugly in the silence I couldn't take it I stood up and left the room I didn't want to think about him dying I went outside and sat down on the bench I looked up at the sky as tears started to fall.

"You know i've never been a religious type but I have no other option here, he's a good little boy and I don't know why you are doing this to him but please don't take him I don't know what i'd do without and I know I have only known him for a short amount of time but he is Clary's life, her reason for living and if he were to- she'd never be the same… Please we need him." I said and dropped my head.

Just then a camera flashed and I looked up to see a guy with a camera but when he seen me crying he looked sad himself. "Can I come over?" He asked and I shrugged. "Look i'm not a dick okay? I'm not camping out here trying to get a picture of you." He said and I looked at him. "Okay maybe I am, but it's for a good reason?"

"Meaning?"

"You'll understand one day."

"What does that even mean?" I asked but all I could hear was beeping and then someone pushed me I jolted up. I was dreaming?

"Clary?"

"Are you alright you were talking in your sleep."

"Yeah i'm okay. How is he?"

"He's okay stable for now thankfully."

"Good, how are you holding up?"

"You'd think i'd say something like i'm use to it by now but seeing him like that it's like a piece of me dies a little every time I see something like that happen and it's just so hard to see him fight so hard for what? Nothing is getting better and it's killing me Jace, I want my son to be okay I don't want him to be in pain anymore even if that means-"

"Hey don't even think about it, he will be okay Clary he will live to a ripe old age, please don't give up on him."

"I'm just tired of seeing him in pain."

"I know you are baby so am I but please have faith in him."

"I will always have faith in him until my very last breath I will know he tried his hardest no matter what happens."