Jace's Pov

Clary didn't want to tell Mason about us because she didn't want to get his hopes up if something happened between us I told her nothing would happen because she said that night was a one time thing although that didn't turn out to be completely true, Mason had finally gotten some of his strength back and for the first time in what seemed like forever he was able to get out of bed, he didn't go to far though Clary and I took him to the playroom he wasn't interested in playing though he was cuddled up to Clary he didn't want to leave her side, I tried to take him but he pushed me away. "What's wrong Mas?" Clary asked he whispered something to her she just nodded and kissed his head. "Can we go back to his room?"

"Yeah." Clary walked with him in her arms and by the time we got into his room he leaned over and threw up all over the floor and then cried because he threw up on the floor.

"It's okay Mason." I said trying to calm him down.

"I still don't feel good."

"I know you don't, how about a tummy rub?"

"Please?" He lifted his shirt up and I rub his stomach careful of his feeding tube. "Thank you daddy."

"Feel any better?"

"No."

"I know you're scared Mason so am I but you are stronger than cancer and I know you beat it."

"Will you be mad if I go to heaven?"

"I can never be mad at you Mas, sometimes people lose but they give it there all and that's what matters is that you fought as hard as you could."

"I don't want to give up but i'm tired."

Clary came back in with his nurse who took his temperature and helped him back into bed, he fell asleep holding his stuff horse when his doctor came in. "Is everything okay?"

"As you know we have started looking for a bone marrow donor."

"But?" Clary asked grabbing my hand and squeezing tightly.

"We haven't found a match yet but we are hopeful, we just wanted to let you guys know."

"Okay… Thanks…"

"Do you have any other kids?"

"Uh no…" Clary said and looked at me like I was hiding a secret kid somewhere.

"Just Mason, why do you ask?"

"Siblings are the most liable for bone marrow but we will keep you posted." He said and left Clary dropped her head against me and started to cry.

"It's okay Clary, it's okay." I kissed her head and wrapped my arms around her. "He's strong you know he is just like his mom." She pulled away from me and gave a sad smile.

"I don't know if I can say goodbye to him Jace." She said looking over at Mason who looked peacefully at ease right now.

"Stop thinking about that Clary he's going to be alright you just have to keep fighting with him."

"I am and I will for the rest of my life i'm just so scared Jace every time I hear that monitor beep I get so scared that i'm going to lose him he's my baby he's all I have and I can't lose him." I didn't know what to say so I pulled her to me and and hummed a lullaby that Mason liked her breathing slowed and I fell asleep with her against me.

"How have you been Jace?" The man asked I wanted to scream.

"And the nightmare continues."

"Now, now Jace is that anyway to talk to a friend?"

"I don't even know you! You aren't even real but yet you seem to think you are real and i'm talking to you like you're real, I must be going insane."

"You aren't going insane my son."

"Don't call me that."

"I've been watching Mason."

"Shut up."

"He's getting stronger but he still needs help."

"Don't talk about him."

"He prays every night and asks if he has to die that's okay but he doesn't want you or Clary to be sad."

"And how do you know that?" I asked helplessly.

"Because i've heard him, he doesn't want to go but he knows if he has to he will come."

"He's not going anywhere the chemo is working and they are looking for a donor and-"

"But if it doesn't come in time? Do you know how much time he has left?"

"Who are you?"

"I think we're getting off topic Jace."

"I feel like I know you but I don't remember you."

"I've always watched over you and I will always watch over your son."

"But who are you?"

"You know who I am, deep down you know."

"I-I don't know…"

"You do…."

"Daddy?" I felt someone touch me I sat up, Clary was gone and Mason was staring at me.

"Sorry bud, are you alright?"

"You were talking in your sleep it woke me up."

"I'm sorry Mas, go back to sleep."

"Where is your dad?"

"What?"

"You kept saying 'dad don't leave' where did he go?"

"H-he died when I was really young."

"Oh…. I'm sorry daddy."

"Where is mommy?"

"Her stomach was hurting and she ran to the bathroom."

"I'll be right back alright." I went and knocked on the bathroom door but Clary didn't answer. "Clary?" I knocked again but she still didn't answer. "Clary?"

The door opened and she came out giving me a small smile. "I'm okay."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah… I had an upset stomach earlier and I think I ate something bad but i'm okay now."

"Okay…."

"You haven't been sleeping much." She said putting her hand on my cheek.

"I keep having the same dream over and over."

"About Mason?"

"No well yeah it's about him but- I can't really explain it."

"You wanna know what helps me?"

"What?"

"When I cuddle with Mason it seems to make all my nightmares go away because he's right next to me." The door opened and a doctor came in who wasn't Mason's which made Clary pull away from me she looked a little scared. "Is everything okay?"

"Jace Herondale?"

"Y-yes…"

"We just wanted to thank you for your generous donation to St. Judes." I relaxed and then smiled.

"It was my pleasure."

They stayed and talked for us a little while about how much it meant to them that I donated money and when they left Clary looked at me. "How much did you donate?"

"I don't think I can thank them enough for all they have been doing for Mason so I figured i'd just donate money instead."

"That doesn't answer my question."

"Why are you so curious?" I asked she shrugged.

"I just wanted to know."

Mason's Pov

Mommy and daddy think i'm dumb but I see them when they think i'm sleeping, I see them hugging and holding each other I don't know why they don't want to tell me their in love maybe because they think i'll be sad or maybe it's because i'm just a kid, who knows. "Hey baby boy." Mommy said laying down beside me putting her hand on my cheek.

"Hi mommy."

"How are you feeling after your nap?"

"A lot better i'm sorry I was grumpy today."

"You don't ever have to apologize for anything Massie."

"Mommy?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you know when Uncle Alec and Uncle Magnus are gonna come visit me?"

"Soon, daddy talked to them the other day and they will be coming soon."

"Good, I miss them."

"So do I."

"Where did daddy go?"

"To the cafeteria to get something to eat are you hungry?" She asked I lifted up my dinosaur shirt and pointed to my feeding tube.

"I'm already eating." I said and mommy laughed, I liked making her laugh because she's always so sad and scared.

"Well how about something to drink my sarcastic little son?" She handed me my cup which I took.

"Mommy when i'm not sick anymore and I don't have to be in the hospital can you take me to ride the horses?"

"We can do anything you want to do when you don't have to be in the hospital anymore."

"Anything?"

"Anything."

"Move to be with daddy."

"Mason…"

"Please mommy? I don't want to be far far away."

"Far far away from what?" Daddy asked coming back into the room.

"From you." I said daddy looked at me confused.

"I'll tell you later," Mommy turned to look back at me. "We will talk about it later alright?"

"Okay mommy."

Later that night I heard daddy make a weird sound so I sat up and then he shot up and coughed. "Are you alright?"

"Ye-yeah…"

"You can lay with me if you want sometimes that helps mommy." I said and moved over daddy carefully moved all the wires and things that were hooked up to me away before laying down and pulling me to him. "Goodnight daddy."

"Night little man."

"I love you."

"And I love you."