The night of Lexa's funeral Clarke doesn't go back to her old room, leaving it for her mother and Kane to sleep in, and she doesn't even go to the Commander's chambers, because it hurts too much to be in a place she used to share with Lexa without the girl being there. She walks up and down the hallway for a while, wondering whether she should even try to sleep at all, since every time she closes her eyes images of her girlfriend come hunting her dreams. When she sees Titus leaving the Nightbloods' quarters she walks towards the man to ask about the kids.

"How are they doing?"

"They're sad about Lexa's passing and worried about the Conclave that starts tomorrow. I'm afraid they're not going to be able to get much sleep tonight."

"Maybe I could stay with them for the night. I think I can manage to get them to sleep a few hours at least." She asks hesitantly, because she's sure the man won't like the idea, but, to her surprise, Titus seems to consider the offer seriously before nodding slowly in agreement.

Clarke gives a thankful nod back to the man and then she slips into the Nightbloods' dormitory. The kids are sitting in circle on the floor, they're talking about something she can't understand from where she's standing by the door. They're eyes move up to look at her as soon as they hear her footsteps resonate inside the room, but they don't move from their place on the floor. Clarke takes a quick look at all of their faces and she sees that almost everyone has tear tracks down their cheeks. Taking a deep breath she moves her mouth in a soft smile before talking.

"Titus said I can sleep with you for tonight. If that's okay with you, of course." She smiles a bit more when she sees them nod eagerly at the idea of having her with them for an entire night.

"We were sharing our best memories of the Commander... Do you wanna join us?" A girl that goes by the name of Skye asks her.

Clarke doesn't say anything for a little while, because she wants to be there for these kids, but at the same time she's not ready to talk about Lexa at all. Not yet. She swallows heavily and, when she's about to accept, Aden speaks.

"You can just listen if you're not ready to talk about her yet." Every other Natblida nods along, because they all understand Clarke must be hurting more than anyone else for Lexa's death, even though she doesn't let it show in front of them.

She's not sure just listening is going to be any easier, but she still accepts the offer before sitting down between Trish and Cal, the two youngest Nightbloods.

She listens for a good couple of hours as the kids take turns remembering their favorite moments with their Heda and she doesn't say a word when the room falls quiet after everyone has run out of stories to tell.

"Clarke?" It's Trish to finally break the silence.

"Yes, sweetie?"

"I don't wanna die." She says in a voice so small Clarke almost misses it.

"What?" That's not what she was expecting her to say. She knows that tomorrow in the Conclave nine of these kids will have to die, but she just didn't have time yet to process what that truly meant.

"The Conclave starts tomorrow and we both know there's no way I'm gonna win. I just-" When her voice cracks and tears fall down her cheeks Clarke rushes to bring her into her side for a tight hug.

She doesn't know what to say, because "everything's gonna be okay" is a lie not even a child would believe. The realization that she's about to lose other people she cares about dawns on her and she can feel her breath being taken away from her completely. She's just a moment away from having a full panic attack, but she forces the air back into her lungs with a series of deep inhales. This is about the kids not her, she needs to be strong for them. Without Lexa it's her job to be the rock they can lean on, even though she feels more like a rock that's sinking to the bottom of the ocean than something they can hold onto in order to stay afloat.

Once again it is Aden to read right through her silence, understanding exactly what she's feeling and offering her a way out.

"We should try to get some sleep now. Come on, let's get into bed." With that he moves onto his bed knowing the others will follow his example.

"You'll stay here, right?" Cal says as he gets up from his place next to Clarke.

"I'll be right here watching over you. Ai swega em klin." I promise. He seems satisfied with her answer and so is everyone else because they all move under their covers before saying in chorus: "Reshop, Klark."

"Goodnight." She whispers not trusting her voice with any louder tone as her eyes fill with tears.

Reshop, Heda.

Goodnight, Ambassador.

Every flashback is like a blade running through her heart, but, at the same time, she doesn't want them to stop, because she doesn't want to forget anything about her time with Lexa.

She doesn't even try to sleep. What's the point anyway, when she knows images of death will come haunting her dreams. Lexa was her home and she's dead. The Nightbloods are her friends and family and only one of them will survive the Conclave. Why does she have to keep losing everyone she cares about?!

Not everyone. Not you. Oh God! She's going to get mad. She covers her ears with her hands as she shakes her head fiercely to get the voices and thoughts out of her mind.

It's okay. You're safe. It doesn't work, of course. The voice is still there and Clarke is sobbing in her hands quietly trying not to wake the kids up.

You bleed for nothing. You cannot stop this. Wait what? She's not bleed- suddenly she can feel the pain cursing through her hands and that's when she realizes at some point in her attempt to block the memories out she's started digging her nails hard into her palms causing them to bleed.

The pain will never go away. She can't breathe. She can't-

This is wrong!

It is also are only choice and you know it.

The dead are gone, Clarke. The living are hungry.

You wanna know why I saved you? Because I need you.

Then be ready to fight.

And with that Clarke passes out.

"Clarke. Clarke, wake up! Come on, you need to breathe! Clarke!" It's Aden's panicked voice to bring her back to consciousness. She feels her lungs burning and she sits up to help get some air in. She welcomes the fresh intake of air with a loud gasp and as soon as the boy sees she's breathing again he throws his arms around her neck letting out a relieved sigh. He keeps his hold strong, but not too much, allowing Clarke to inhale a proper amount of air.

"I'm sorry I woke you." She says when she realizes nine pairs of eyes are staring at her worriedly.

"Don't you dare scare us like that again." Aden cries in the crook of her neck and she pushes him back by his shoulders so she can look him in the eyes. With her thumb she brushes away the tears streaking down his cheeks before speaking.

"Hey, I'm okay. I'm sorry I scared you, but I'm fine now. I promise." She doesn't move her eyes from the ones of the boy until he gives her a small nod.

"You still have a few hours before the Conclave starts. Go back to sleep." She says to everyone as she moves to stand up.

"Where are you going?" Skye asks refusing to lie back down.

"I'm sorry, I know I said I would stay here with you all night, but I need to get some fresh air."

"We'll see you in the morning?" Vin, a twelve-year-old boy, asks hopefully from behind her.

"Of course." She answers without hesitation as she ruffles the boy's hair smiling kindly at him.

She makes sure everyone is back in their beds before leaving the room to go for a walk around the still empty city streets.


"No, there has to be another way!" Clarke shouts, finally losing it.

She and Titus have been arguing for at least forty minutes, because she won't just let her kids die without a fight. She's been trying to convince the Flamekeeper to find an alternative in which the Nightbloods don't have to kill each other in order to determine a winner of the Conclave, but the bald man won't hear any reasons.

"There isn't! This has been the way of our people ever since Pramheda, you can't just come down here from the sky and expect us to change all of our oldest traditions just because you and your people don't like them!" He shouts back just as loudly.

"I've just lost Lexa, I'm not gonna sit there and watch them die too!" That's it! She's done trying to talk some sense into him, it's time for her to act, whether he agrees or not. They're just kids, they're still alive and hungry and it is her job now to protect them.

"Where do you think you're going?! This discussion is not over yet!" Titus yells at her back as she's storming out of the throne room.

"Yes, it is." She says firmly stopping at the doors and, before the man can object, she adds: "Plus someone needs to go wake the Nightbloods up." And with that she walks down the hallway to the Natblida's quarters.

She's about to knock on the door when she gets an idea. There is one thing she was able to catch of the meeting they had in Arkadia before leaving for Polis: the Sky people were going to bring some of their medical supplies to the capitol as an offer to the Coalition that welcomed them as one of their own. She remembers a trick her mother uses at times during her surgeries when the patients start bleeding out and she hopes Abby has brought the drugs necessary for it to work. Without bothering to worry her mom and Kane might still be asleep, she enters her old room without knocking.

"What the hell?! Clarke? Honey, what are you doing here at dawn?" Her mother asks as she moves to sit up, resting her back on the headboard.

Clarke takes a moment to look at the man under the covers next to Abby. She's been aware of their closeness for a while now, but it doesn't make it any less weird. When her mom clears her throat embarrassed she finally explains herself.

"I need your help. You brought some of Arkadia's medical supplies as an offer to Polis, right?" All she gets as a response is two pairs of shocked eyes staring back at her.

"What? I had a few moments when I wasn't completely out of it." She says understanding the two must've thought she wasn't paying attention when they talked about it with Lexa's generals.

They look a little less shocked now, but they still can't answer her question, so she asks again.

"Do you have the supplies with you or not?"

"Ye-yeah. I still haven't got the chance to bring them to the medical center... They're in that box by the armchair, why? What do you need?" Abby finally answers as she gets out of bed to reach her daughter.

"The drugs you use to stop your patients' hearts momentarily when they're bleeding out... and the adrenaline... did you bring some of those too?"

"I did. Clarke... What's going on?" She's now standing in front of the girl, looking at her worriedly and questioningly.

"It's the Nightbloods. I'm trying to find a way to keep them alive. They're just kids, mom. They shouldn't have to kill each other to choose a new Commander."

"What's your plan?" Kane asks coming to stand next to them.

"They'll just have to pretend to kill each other. I'll give each of them a small capsule containing the drug on its inside and, as they go down, they'll have to break it with their teeth and swallow the drug. A healer will go make sure they're really dead before they'll be brought out of the arena to give space to the others. We'll have a couple of minutes to give them the adrenaline and restart their hearts." She can barely finish talking before her mother hisses at her.

"This is crazy! What if something goes wrong? What if someone catches us? What if it will take them more than a couple of minutes to verify they're dead and take them out of the arena? We won't be able to get their hearts to beat again then."

"I know it's risky, okay! If you don't want a part in it, I get it! But I'm not gonna do nothing when there's a chance I can save them!" Her voice wavers as she shouts the last words. With a deep breath she gets herself back together and then she speaks again, hoping Abby will understand why she's willing to risk everything on this. "They're the closest thing I have to a family. I can't lose them too."

"Okay. We'll do this. But we need to explain to the kids exactly what they need to do for this to work out right."

"Thank you." She says hugging her mother thankfully.


Clarke and Abby are giving the adrenaline to the last Nightblood when Aden comes rushing into the room.

"Ti...Titus..." Is all he manages to say, out of breath as he is, before the bald man bursts into the room behind him and starts shouting at Clarke.

"What is the meaning of this?!"

"I told you I wasn't gonna let them d-" She tries but Titus cuts her off.

"What did you do?!"

What did you do?

What you would've done. Saved my people.

"What Lexa would've done. Saved her people." She answers standing her ground. "Lexa believed Aden would be the one to succeed her. We've just respected the Commander's choice."

"The Commander's choice?! Not always the Nightblood chosen by a Commander is the one to win the Conclave! Lexa's had faith in Aden's abilities to win, but it doesn't mean her spirit would've made the same choice!" He yells as he moves closer to Clarke up until the point where there's almost no personal space between the two of them, but the girl still doesn't back down.

"You did it yourself with Costia before, why is this any different?!"

"That was one person, this is nine kids we're talking about! How am I supposed to hide them all?!"

"It's easy, really. The people of Polis don't know what they look like. Not well enough to recognize them as the Nightbloods who supposedly have died in the Conclave."

"So you want me to what? Send them out of the tower into the city streets hoping someone finds them and offers them a place to stay or even a family perhaps?" He isn't serious about it, but it gives Clarke an idea.

"Are there any orphanages?" she asks wonderingly. Titus looks at her for a moment before it clicks.

"That's not happening." He says in a tone that doesn't leave space for arguments.

"Ok, you know what? Why don't we just let them stay here, inside the tower? This is their home after all and we're their family. We'll just keep them inside and no one will notice they're still alive. Once they grow old enough to take care of themselves, we'll let them go outside to live the life they want. At that point they won't be children anymore and nobody will be able to tell who they are."

"Except for the fact that every time they bleed they shed black blood." He says matter-of-factly.

"We'll all be careful." Clarke waits a second before adding: "Titus. I know you're not heartless. I know you cared about Lexa and I know you feel for these kids. I know you're actually glad they're not dead. I'm sorry I broke the rules, but I'm not sorry I saved their lives. We'll figure it out, okay?" She knows he's given up his fight when he sighs heavily and shakes his head.

"You're lucky Lexa and the Nightbloods love you."

"Please everyone knows deep down you care about me too." She dares to joke now that they're not yelling at each other anymore. Titus gives her an exasperated shake of his head when she smirks proudly at him.

"If you say so, Wanheda."

"I know so. Fleimkepa."


AN: How about some cliffhanger, eh? Oh well, I'm gonna give it to you anyway :P

Clarke goes to sleep in Lexa's room for the night, since this is her last chance to sleep here as it will become Aden's room tomorrow. She puts on her blue nightgown and slips under the covers. She's tired, because it's been days since she last had a good night of sleep, but everything around her smells like Lexa and she can't stop thinking about her. She tries rolling onto her side and hugging her girlfriend's pillow pretending it's her, but, of course, it doesn't work. She misses Lexa's strong arms securing her against her body, she misses her warmth, her smile, her voice, her... Her. She just misses her.

She's alone now. She doesn't have to be strong anymore, so she just let's it all out, sobbing hard into Lexa's pillow. She cries like that for what feels like forever, until she has no more tears to shed. She's so worn out she can barely move, but, when she's about to succumb to sleep, she remembers something.

"The chip." She whispers to herself as she forces her tired body out of bed. She goes through her bags looking for the Key to the City of Light, or whatever Jaha said it was called. When she finds it, she goes out onto the balcony and she sits down onto its cold floor. She moves her gaze up to the stars before whispering: "I'll see you soon, my love."

And with that she swallows the chip and closes her eyes. She focuses her mind on the person she wants so much to be able to hold again.

Lexa.

Note: OMG! What did she do?! Do you think it's gonna work? Is Clarke going to see Lexa again or was Jaha really just high when talking about the City of Light?

Well, I guess you're gonna have to stay tuned to find out ;)

Thank you for reading and thank you for all the positive reviews! Xxxx

P.S. I apologize to those of you who were expecting a big fighting scene for the Conclave. This wasn't my original idea for this chapter, but, when I had to write, I couldn't find it in myself to kill nine kids. Forgive me for being weak when it's about children's lives.