When the morning comes, they're woken up by a voice. The sun has yet to come up and they both look around to see whose voice it was.
"Clarke." Wait, no one else is there, who the hell- "Clarke! Babe, wake up! Come on!" Abby? How...? It takes them a moment to realize the voice actually comes from back in Polis. Her mother must have found her asleep on the balcony and somehow they can hear her voice in the City of Light.
"You have to go back now."
"What? No, I... I just got here. I-I... They can wait some more, Lex. Please. Let me stay here with you." She's begging in tears.
"Hey, hey. Look at me." She waits a moment for Clarke to meet her eyes before continuing. "I'll be here when you come back. I can wait, they can't. You have to be there for Aden on his first day as Heda, you have to go back to your mom and the kids, Clarke." She brings her hands up to caress the girl's cheeks gently before leaning in to kiss her lovingly.
When Clarke opens her eyes she doesn't see two big green pools looking at her, but her mother's worried eyes. Without thinking she sinks forward in Abby's arms crying in her neck. Her mom doesn't ask, though she's worried sick for her daughter she understands right now the girl only needs to be held.
Many minutes pass before Clarke stops sobbing and leans back to wipe at her eyes and cheeks. Abby still doesn't ask, but she just follows her daughter's every move, patiently waiting for her to be ready to explain what happened.
That morning she and Kane had entered what used to be Lexa's room to tell Clarke it was time for her to leave so Aden could settle in his new quarters. Not seeing the girl anywhere around and noticing the door to the balcony opened, they tried to go see if the she was outside and she was indeed there. Abby had soon noticed that she looked quite peaceful in her sleep, but she'd probably spent the whole night on the balcony floor, because her skin was ice-cold to the touch. Of course her mother's instinct instantly kicked in and she became extremely worried for her kid's health. Her worry only increased when Clarke didn't respond after being called a few times out loud. That's when Abby had started shaking her lightly in order to get her to wake up and that's when Abby's voice reached Clarke and Lexa to the City of Light. The woman's relief at seeing her daughter's eyes finally open didn't last long and it soon turned into great concern when the girl began to break down in her arms.
"Sorry." Is all Clarke says when she's done drying her face from her shed tears.
When she brings her eyes up to meet with her mother's she can tell that Abby won't say anything until she has explained what's going on with her. She doesn't know if she's ready to tell her everything, but she knows the woman won't back down till she's got a clear explanation as to why her daughter is so upset, so just takes a deep breath to gather her voice and, then, she starts talking.
"I..." She stops when she realizes her mother and Kane are going to think she's mad if she tells them the truth. "You're going to think I'm crazy..."
"I won't. I promise." She takes Clarke's hand gently in hers and she runs a gentle thumb on the back of it to reassure her. "Just tell me what happened." And with that she sits down in front of the girl.
When Clarke moves her gaze up to look at Kane he takes it as his queue to go and give them some space, so he starts to move towards the door to go back inside. It doesn't take Clarke long to realize she's been misunderstood so she goes to stop him.
"Wait. You can stay too if you want to..." She waits for him to nod and sit next to Abby before starting to talk.
"I was with Lexa..." She says barely above a whisper and staring down at the floor. She doesn't have the courage to meet the others' eyes both because she knows they must be staring questioningly at her right now and because tears are forming in her eyes again and she doesn't want them to notice.
"When... When I was about to leave Arkadia after Lexa's... After her..." The only idea of saying the word 'death' makes her choke on her own words, but when she looks up briefly at her mother and Kane she can see they don't need her to say it to understand what she means and she's grateful for that. "Jaha came to me and gave me this... Chip. He said with it I'd be able to see Lexa again... That it would take me to a virtual reality called 'City of Light' where there's no death."
She pauses a moment both to wipe away the tears that have started to fall down her cheeks and to see if Abby and Kane are still following what she's saying. They seem confused, but none of them says anything, so she continues.
"I didn't wanna believe him. I-I couldn't do that. I couldn't allow myself to built my hopes up to meet Lexa again. I don't know what stopped me from getting rid of the chip straight away, but I kept it with me all this time. Last night I... I just missed her so much." Her voice cracks and she takes a moment to inhale deeply to regain some control.
"I had to see her again. I was falling apart for good and she was the only one who could put my pieces back together. That's when I remembered about the chip. Jaha said all I needed to do was to swallow it and focus my mind on who I wanted to see, so I did. I know it sounds crazy, but he wasn't lying. It works. It worked. I did go to the City of Light or rather my mind did... I'm still not sure how it works exactly; all I know is that I was able to see Lexa again. I saw her again, mom." She's crying again when she raises her gaze to look straight into Abby's eyes. "I saw her." And once again she falls into her mom's arms and she sobs there brokenly.
She stays there, in her mother's warm embrace, for what feels like forever and, when she believes she's shed all the tears she can manage for one day, she lets her mom and Kane lead her back inside. Abby helps her clean her face and get into new clothes, meanwhile Kane leaves to give the two of them some space. Her mother is finishing to braid Clarke's hair when Titus storms into the room without bothering to knock.
"Titus. What the hell?!" Clarke screams, startled by the sudden entrance.
"Wanheda. I need your help with Aden."
"Aden? What's wrong with Aden?" She interjects worriedly.
"He won't tell me, but he might open up to you. Can you just go talk to him? Beja." Well, that's new. Titus begging her means it must be a real emergency, because Clarke knows he would rather die than ask for her help. Especially when it comes to the Nightbloods.
"Alright. I'll go see him... Where is he?"
"Throne room."
"Right. I'll see what I can do."
"Mochof." And with that Titus leaves the room just as quickly as he came in.
"I gotta..." Clarke starts pointing behind her towards the door.
"Yeah, of course. I guess I'll see you at the ceremony then." Abby moves to hug her daughter quickly before exiting the room as well.
Once alone Clarke takes a moment to look around what will no longer be Lexa's room. It's hard to think of anybody else walking this floor and laying in that bed or to imagine someone else gazing at the stars from the balcony floor. With a sad sigh she takes it all in one last time and, then, she goes out of the door closing it behind her.
"Aden." Clarke says as she enters the throne room.
Aden is there standing in the middle of the room with his back to the door. Although he's still facing away from her, the girl can tell that something is bothering him.
"What's wrong?" She asks worriedly as she comes to stand by his side, not quite able to meet his gaze yet though.
"What if I'm not fit to be Heda? What if people think I'm not good enough to be their leader? I'm still just a kid, Clarke." There's a sadness to his tone and in his eyes when he brings them up to meet with blue ones.
"Lexa believed you were ready, Aden. I believe you are ready. We all do. If you remember even just half of Lexa's teachings, then you are good enough to lead your people. And as for being fit or not to command, we both know people doubted Lexa too and she was an amazing Commander despite their believes. I know you can do it. I believe in you..." Clarke hesitates a moment.
"Aden. Just... keep calling me Aden. That's fine." He offers when he realizes she's struggling to acknowledge him with a title that used to belong to the person she loves.
"Aden." She nods thankfully. "I believe in you. Aden. The Nightbloods and Titus believe in you. Lexa believed in you. Now you need to believe too. You can't expect your people to believe in you as their Commander if you don't believe in yourself to begin with." Clarke puts a hand on his shoulder before squeezing gently to encourage him. She also gives him a kind and reassuring smile, which Aden returns with a half smile of his own.
"Alright. I'll try. But it won't change the fact that in my people's eyes I'll still only be a child." It's not like he's the pessimistic kind of boy, he just likes to be realistic and it is evident that he's very young, too young, to be accepted by everyone as a strong, wise and respectable leader.
"Lexa was only a couple of years older than you are when she first took command. Her age didn't stop her from being able to reunite 12 clans under one coalition. She showed her people what she was really capable of despite her young age and that bought her their trust. I'm not saying it's going to be easy, Aden. Do you know how long it took me to be recognized as leader of Skaikru by my people? Not the delinquents, of course, because they were all kids just like me, but the council... my mom, Kane... I had to take the lead without without waiting for permission and ignoring their protests in order to prove them I was fit to be in charge." She pauses to see if Aden is following, but she can tell he's still not completely convinced, though he's getting there.
"Look, you're going to have to prove yourself over and over again, but at some point you will win this battle, you will be trusted as commander of the 13 clans." When he avoids her gaze and moves his eyes to the floor Clarke brings both of her hands on his shoulders. Like that, she adds: "If it helps at all, I promise you I'll be by your side all the way. I'll protect you and believe in you when no one else will." Slowly she moves forward to embrace the boy as he lets her words sink in. "I'll always be with you, Aden. Ai swega em klin." Clarke whispers softly in his ear.
They stay like that for a few moments, just reveling in each other's presence. They don't say anything, but Clarke just gently rubs her hand on Aden's back to calm him and he silently thanks her squeezing her middle and hugging her a bit tighter.
"Do you remember what you wanted when you were younger? I know my biggest wish was to leave space and come down to earth. I hated the place I lived in, because any mistake you made could cost you your life. As a child I never understood why we couldn't concede people a chance at redemption. I thought: we all make mistakes, right? That's how we grow up and learn to live in this world. Why can't we just let people learn from their mistakes and have a second chance to start over, in a better way?" She can feel Aden is giving her his full attention, but she also understands she needs to clarify her point otherwise he'll never get the message.
"Do you know what the greatest thing about kids is?" She asks as she leans back so she can look Aden in the eyes. "They're innocent. They always see the best in everything and they believe in love. Whenever they argue with their little friends they only stay mad at each other for a short while and, then, they make up and move on. Adults can't do that. Many of their arguments end up in war, especially in this world. If someone wrongs them they seek revenge on them. But children... Children don't live by the same rules as grown up people, they question everything, because they they believe there are thousands of possible peaceful answers before coming to violence." She pauses for a moment, taking Aden's hands in hers, and, then, she concludes.
"You think being a kid is your weakness, but I think that's your greatest strength. Aden, think about it. Your young age is exactly what's going to enable you to bring some changes for the better to your people's culture. You can change tradition, teach your people forgiveness and from your actions you can show your people a promise. A promise for a new future in which violence does not always answer violence and children can flourish without the shadow of death. You can build yourself a world in which a Commander is not condemn to a life of loneliness, because, honestly, no on should have no one and love is not weakness."
Aden is about to open his mouth to say something, but he's interrupted by Titus walking into the room. He knows what he's here for and, most of all, he knows it's time for him to set all his doubts aside and accept his leadership role.
"Heda. It's time." The bald man calls from near the doors bowing his head slightly when Aden turns to face him.
The boy turns back to Clarke, who gives him the most encouraging smile she can master, and, then, he follows Titus out of the room.
In the main square of Polis the crowd is already waiting for the arrival of their new Heda. Everyone is standing in front of a large platform built for the occasion. On the platform, there are 14 chairs, one for each of the 13 clan leaders of the Coalition with, in the middle, the Commander's throne. They're positioned in a wide semicircle and the leaders are already sat in their places, waiting for Aden to make his way up. Actually, everyone but Clarke is in their place. Yeah, that's right, even though Kane is present for the ascension ceremony, he and Abby agreed it should've been Clarke to represent Skaikru, plus they thought Aden could've used a friend by his side. That said, she is yet to arrive because she was with Aden when Titus had come to call him, so she didn't have time to precede him to the main square. At least she has managed to catch up with the boy and the Fleimkipa so that she can now climb onto the platform before Aden does. The other leaders look at her suspiciously, but none of them says anything about it. When Aden gets on the platform he bows his head quickly at the leaders, both as greeting and as permission to sit back on their chairs. With a quick bow of their own they obey and wait for the boy to turn his attention towards the crowd to give his ascension speech. Everyone is clapping and cheering for him, so the young Commander waits for a while before talking. Raising his hand slowly he asks for silence and, when the square grows quite, he begins.
"People of the 13 clans, it is an honor for me to be standing here as your new Commander. I feel even more honored to be given the chance to continue what Lexa had started. She was by far the greatest Heda we've ever had. I think you can all agree on that. She was a visionary and she believed that traditions were important, but sometimes they also needed to be changed for a greater good. She was a child when she took command, just like I am, but she was wise, compassionate and strong enough to bring all of her people together under a Coalition. I can't promise you I will be an equally great leader, but everything I know about leadership I've learned from her and I can promise that I will do my best to rule as smartly as she has." As the crowd cheers he pauses and turns to look at Clarke with a smile. The girl doesn't understand until he continues.
"Wisdom, compassion and strength. These are the three pillars of being a commander. That's what every Nightblood is taught during their training to become Heda. That's what Lexa taught us. She never said it out loud, but there is one more pillar we learned about from her. That's love. It doesn't matter what traditions say, that to be Commander is to be alone, because, in the end, we're humans too and just like any other person we need love in our lives. When I say love, though, I'm not talking about romantic love, not necessarily, I mean. Love can be many things: love for your family, for your friends, for a lover, for your home, for your job and, in the Commander's case, for your people." No one makes a noise this time when he stops for a break. They're listening carefully to see where he's taking this.
"We're just kids when we're taken away from our families. Our lives, our friends, our homes. All of that is left behind and we're left with nothing but ourselves when we get here in Polis. The tower becomes our home. The Commander and Fleimkipa become our guides. Somewhat like our new parents. The other Nightbloods become our family and friends. Love is what keeps us going, what gives us the strength to live away from our dear ones, what makes us work hard to be ready to take command one day. A Naitblida is never alone and neither should be a Heda. You're wondering why I'm telling you all this? It's simple: because I want to make a first change to our traditions. From now on, love is going to be the first pillar of being a commander and leaders will no longer be judged unfit to command just because they've opened their hearts to someone else. A commander who wants to marry the person they love will be able to do that. To be commander is not to be alone. That's what Lexa believed and that's what I believe." With that he looks one last time at Clarke before moving to the front of the platform, passing his eyes on everyone in the crowd.
He then turns around to face the leaders of the 13 clans and, with a deep breath, he does what no commander has publicly done before: he bows to his people. The clan leaders are shocked. All but Clarke, who has tears in her eyes, because this scene is giving her a great sense of déjà-vu.
"I swear fealty to you, members of the Coalition. I vow to treat your needs as my own. And your people as my people." When he's done he stays there knelt down and moves his gaze on Clarke.
Aden knows his words meant a lot to the girl. He knows who they belong to. It was Clarke who told him about Lexa's vow to her and how she'd bowed in front of her even though commanders are supposed to bow to no one. The boy isn't surprised to find tear streaks down the her cheeks, just like he's not surprised when Wanheda moves forward to offer him her hand to help him up. Aden doesn't hesitate to take the offered hand. It's not a sign of weakness, not anymore. Like he said to his people, he's going to change some of the old stupid traditions so he can put love first.
"Heda." Clarke says when the boy is back up on her eye level.
The girl can see his eyes widen a little as she addresses him with this title. That's because he didn't expect Clarke to be ready to acknowledge him as Commander yet. Again it's not because he thought she didn't believe he deserved the title, but because he knew it was still too hard for her to think of anybody else but Lexa as their leader. Calling Aden Heda made her death a bit more real but, most of all, Aden being Commander meant the world had moved on while she was still having a hard time coming to terms with the truth, because, honestly, how was she supposed to move on from the love of her life?
Once Clarke has spoken, all the other clan leaders move down to bow to their new Heda. The Sky girl bows as well a few seconds later and she's the last one to rise back on her feet. When their all standing again Clarke and Aden move to their seats and, altogether, the leaders and their Commander sit back on their chairs. That's when the crowd explodes into loud cheers and applauses for their new young leader. Aden doesn't stop them this time and they just wait for everyone to calm down and grow quite again. When silence takes over the main square Titus moves on the platform to dismiss the people in crowd since the ceremony has come to an end.
Aden's first day as Commander has been all but easy so far. Right after the ceremony he had to perform his duties taking part in four different meetings and doing an incredible number of paperwork. It's impressive how Lexa made all this seem so easy, while in reality it's exhausting and boring. Even meals are. And they're incredibly sad too, because he had to have lunch and dinner all alone. He misses the old times when he'd eat with the Nightbloods or with Clarke and Lexa. Speaking of Lexa, God, he misses her so much. If only she could be here to help him out a little. There had been a couple of times this afternoon where he'd found himself at a complete loss of what to do and in both moments he acted trying to remember what Lexa would've done.
He's so tired right now he doesn't even realize he's going the wrong way and, instead of heading to his quarters, he's going to his old room. The sound of loud laughter brings him back to reality and that's when he recognizes where he's standing at. For a moment he considers turning away and going to his new room, but the voices of his friends convince him to knock on the door and get inside. As soon as he steps into the room he's surrounded by all the kids who bring him into a tight group hug. They're all cheering and congratulating him and he's so moved he's only seconds away from starting to cry.
"Hey, guys. How was your day?"
"How was our day?! You mean how was your day, Heda!" Skye interjects excitedly.
"Well, let's just say I've had one hell of a day." He jokes gaining a laughter by the other Naitblida.
"I bet you did." Wait. How did he miss Clarke?! He can't believe he didn't notice the girl, Abby and Kane when he first got into the room.
"We were just having a nice chat with the kids, but we can leave now." Kane says when he sees Aden's surprised look. None of them were expecting the boy to come over, honestly, but he understands he must've wanted to be with his family after the long day he had.
"Oh, no, it's fine. You can stay. We can chat altogether." And with that everyone goes back to sit on the floor.
They talk for hours about everything and anything and, when everyone but the adults, Clarke and Aden have fallen asleep, Abby and Kane leave to go get some sleep as well. Carefully, Clarke and Aden put all the kids into their bed before sitting together on the one which used to be Aden's. They stay quite for long minutes, the boy's head resting on her shoulder and the girl's head on his, and, then, Aden breaks the silence.
"I really miss her, you know?" He whispers knowing Clarke understands perfectly who he's talking about. "I just wish she were still here to show me what is the right thing to do."
"Yeah, I get that feeling a lot too." She hesitates a moment before asking: "If... If I told you I saw her... Like, last night... Would you believe me?"
Now Aden raises his head and turns to look at her directly in the eyes to see if she's playing with him or not. Any doubt he had about her seriousness soon subsides and curiosity takes over.
"What... What you mean? H-how's that even possible?"
"With a chip... It's a sort of key to another world, a virtual world, where there is no death. It's complicated, but it-"
"You mean like some sort of vision in your dreams?" He interrupts trying to understand.
"Well... Yeah, you could call it that..."
"And what did she say?" Damn it, of all the things he could ask it had to be the dumbest of all to be voiced.
"That she's proud of you." Of course Clarke doesn't think it's a stupid question and she knows exactly the kind of answer the boy is looking for. "Aden, you can't even imagine how proud she was to know you are the new commander."
"What about the other Naitblida? Was she mad we went against the rules to save them?
"No." She smiles remembering Lexa's words. "No, Aden, she said she'd always wanted to change those stupid rules and she was really glad no one had to die in the Conclave." Her smile turns into worry when she notices Aden's eyes filling with unshed tears.
"Hey, what's wrong?"
"Nothing, I... It just that I... I don't wanna disappoint her." He concludes in a voice so small it almost makes Clarke forget that he's a sixteen-year-old boy with the weight of the world on his shoulders.
"Aden..." She doesn't know what to say so she just moves forward to embrace him in a tight hug.
"I'm sorry."
"Mmh?" She hums questioningly.
"I'm sorry if I'll ever disappoint you in the future. Any of you. I really want to be a good Heda for my family and my people."
"You will be. I know you'll make us nothing but proud, Commander." She says before breaking the hug and kissing Aden lovingly on his forehead. "Get some sleep, Heda. It's been a long day."
"Will you stay with me?" He sounds so much like a little kid tonight rather than a Commander of 13 clans.
"Always." She whispers lowering both of them to a lying position on the bed.
Aden is fast asleep before Clarke can even cover the both of them with some blankets. When she sets her head on the pillow nest to his she can't help but smile at the sight of his peaceful sleeping face. Suddenly she becomes aware of just how tired she is as well so she lets sleep take over her features, letting her brain switch off slowly, but there's one last thought on her mind before sleep overcomes her.
Lexa. Reshop, ai hodness.
Note: Guys I'm so sorry it took me forever to upload a new chapter. If school wasn't enough, I also had a sort of writer's block so it took me weeks to find a way to put this chapter into words. Don't worry, though, it's all good now and, as you can see from the length of the chapter, I'm back in full force.
I really hope to be able to post a new chapter sooner this time. Until then, thank you so much for bearing with me. Love you guys! Xoxoxo
