Sorry for the super late update, I need a lot of work to do with my scheduling of all of my stories.

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Enjoy!

Headhunters


Day off; two words that brought much joy and relief to the Loud Kids, after a lot ofweeks of doing hard labor tasked by their strict boss/great uncle, plus that whole skirmish with the Gobblewonker, they felt a little rest and relaxation was deserving. Being the kind of guy that he was, Stan rarely ever gives his employees a day off from work but since business in the shack has been kinda slow recently, there's not much of a reason for them to even bother. Presently, they were in the living room watching one of Gravity Falls's most popular TV series: Duck-Tective, the series about a duck who for some reason is also a detective and works in London in the past alongside his companion, the Constable, they all have taken a real liking to this show. "I'm afraid you're services won't be required here sir." the constable of the show told the duck. The kids were watching intently, Dipper, Lincoln, and Luna were eating a bowl full of popcorn, and Mabel was knitting a new sweater with a little help from Leni and Lola, she was about to reach for some popcorn but Dipper stopped her making his twin pull back. "My men have examined the evidence, and this is obviously an accident." he claimed with confidence.

He and Duck-Tective were standing next to a phone booth that has the limb of an unknown dead person sticking out from under it.

Duck-Tectice gave his two scents, and inspected the booth closely. "Quack quack quack quack quack quack quack? Quack quack quack quack quack?! (An accident constable? Or is it murder?!) he quacked dramatically.

"What?!" the constable exclaimed in shock, he could never have reached that sort of conclusion.

"Duck-Tective will return after these messages!"

Mabel and Leni dropped the sweater and gasped.

"That duck is a genius!" Mabel watched in awe.

Leni nodded. "Seriously, I like never would have figured that out." she said in equal wonder.

Dipper however wasn't so impressed. "Eh, it's easier to find clues when you're that close to the ground." he pointed out.

Mabel squinted doubtfully at her twin. "Are you saying you could outwit Duck-Tective?"

"Oh please, Mabel." Lisa scoffed. "Basically anyone can figure out the case of a crime scene better than a water fowl. And honestly, of course it was murder, what other possible reasons could there be for a corpse being underneath a booth made for telephone communication?"

"Well it was certainly fowl play." Luan remarked with a laugh. Cue group groan.

"I don't know dudes, that duck can see things no one else can." Luna said.

"Remeber that episode when he singled out the thief by the scent of her perfume?" Lori recalled. "Not to mention they had the same colored fingernails, not even I could see it."

"Or how about when he was able to find out who set the mansion on fire by noting that the culprit's alibi didn't add up, and it was so convincing too." Lincoln mentioned.

"My favorite episode was when he dug up that grave and was able to tell that it was a fake body." Lucy said. "I really liked it when they showed the actual one."

"The Constable is kinda corny though." Luan said. "I mean do you hear his puns, You'll never see me doing anything like that." the comedian saw her siblings give her deadpanned stares. "What?"

"Anyways Lisa, if you think that duck isn't so great then why are you even watching his show?" Lynn coyly asked.

"Well to obviously point out its flaws of course." the prodigy declared.

"You sure it isn't because you actually like it a little?" Dipper smirked.

Lisa remained silent, because she couldn't come up with a counter response. "No comment."

Dipper just rolled his eyes. "The point is guys, is that I have very keen powers of observation." he claimed. "For example, Mabel, Lana, just by smelling your breaths, I can tell that you two have been eating..." he takes a sniff and stares at them incredulously. "...two entire tubes of toothpaste?!"

Everyone couldn't realize until now that both of their mouths were covered in sparkling toothpaste.

"It was so sparkly." Mabel reasoned shamefully.

"Well I have no regrets, in fact I'd do it all over again." Lana said, putting her arms in the back of her head in a calm manner.

"Ew Lana, have a little class!" Lola barked at her twin sister, before a fight could begin, Soos runs in, with an excited smile.

"Hey dudes, you'll never guess what I found!" he told them.

"Buried treasure!" Dipper said quickly before anyone else.

"Buried-Hey, I was gonna say that." Lynn chuckled, playfully punching his shoulder.

The kids followed the handyman down to a door that was in a shadowy corridor of the shack, Mabel and the younger twins were clinging to Dipper and Lincoln due to the creepy atmosphere. "How come I've never noticed this part of the shack before?" Lucy commented.

"So, I was cleaning up as per norm, until I found this secret door hidden behind the wallpaper." he gestured to a door covered in ripped wallpaper just as he said. "I'm telling ya, it's crazy bonkers creepy!"

He cautiously opened it to reveal a dark room filled with what appeared to be lifelike wax figures of historical people along with famous actors and comedians. There was Sherlock Holmes, Amelia Earhart, Groucho Marx, Red Foxx, Coolio, Robin Hood, Isaac Newton, Edgar Allen Poe, Lizzie Borden etc.

"Woah, it's like some kind of secret wax museum." Dipper observed, pulling out his flashlight to make it easier for them to see.

"Who are all these guys?" Leni asked bubbly.

"Are you kidding?" Lisa questioned in disbelief. "These moldable substances have been shaped to bear the likeness of very well known figures on history. For starters there's famous horror fiction writer, Edgar Allen Poe." she pointed to it.

This got Lucy's attention. "Where?!" she saw the wax figure of one of her idols. "So beautiful." she whispered.

"Oh man, look it's Reggie White!" Lynn pointed excitedly at the footbal figure.

"Groucho Marx, and Red Foxx, oh where's my camera?" Luan squealed.

"No way, it's Elvis!" Luna gasped.

"They're so lifelike." Mabel said in awe, touching one of the hands.

Lincoln took notice of one that was far in the corner. "Except for maybe that one." he pointed. Dipper set the light to where he was pointing and somehow it looked like their uncle.

"Yeesh, check out that piece of work." Lori said with a cringe.

"Whoever he was must've had a lot of problems." Mabel remarked.

Then it suddenly talked. "You know it's me right?" it asked.

"Aaaaaah!" everyone screamed in terror.

"Heh heh, don't be scared, it's just me your Grunkle Stan!" he proclaimed clearing it up that he wasn't a wax figure. But, this only made them more scared and ran away in fright.

It took a while, but Stan was able to calm his niblings and handyman down, then he began to explain what the room full of statues was about. "Behold, the Gravity Falls Wax Museum! Back in the day, it was one of our most popular attractions. Even more so than the Sascrotch... that is until I forgot all about it." he began to list off the name. "I got 'em all! Sherlock Holmes, Richard Nixon, Genghis Khan..." he stopped at one he couldn't recognize. "Some kind of, I don't know, goblin man?"

"Actually that would be famous tv and radio host, Larry King." Lisa clarified.

"Oh, well like I said I forgot about all these guys. Okay, finally, and this one's my personal favorite, here's Wax Abraham Lincoln!" unfortunately, the wax figure of our 16th president was melted due to exposure to sunlight. "Oh no! Abe Lincoln!" he exclaimed in horror.

"What about Lincoln?" Leni asked, until she saw the puddle. "Oh my gosh, Lincoln!" she broke down to her knees in tears. "Who did this?! Who did this to my baby brother?!" she sobbed, covering her eyes in despair.

"Um, Leni, I'm standing right next to you." Lincoln told her awkwardly.

His older sister looked up and gave him a bone crushing hug. "Oh Linky, you're okay!" she exclaimed in joy.

"Come on, who left the blinds open? Wax John Wilkes Booth, I'm looking at you're direction!" Stan sent a suspicious glare at it, he bends down with a sign and puts his finger on the melted wax. "How do you fix a wax figure?" he frowned dejectedly.

"Cheer up Grunkle Stan. Where's that smile?" Mabel asks trying to lighten her uncle's mood.

"Eh."

Mabel then began to cheerfully poke his face. "Beep, bop, boop!"

"Ow." Stan winced, this was really uncomfortable.

"Don't worry Grunkle Stan, I'll make you a new wax figure from all this old wax!" Mabel declared. "In fact, it won't just be me." she turned to Lola and Leni. "What do you say girls, you in?"

"Oooh!" Leni squealed. "That sounds like so much fun!"

"Hmm." Lola rubbed her chin in thought before nodding. "Okay I'll participate, only if it means I can bring a little class in this town."

Lana rolled her eyes. "Please, the only thing you could give this town is a how to guide to being a girly princess."

"Take that back, you slob!" at Lola's insult, the twins started fighting like they always do, which prompted their uncle to break it up.

"Hey, hey! Easy, you two, no fighting unless betting is involved." he sternly told them "Anyway, You three really think you can make one of these puppies?" Stan asked skeptically to his 3 nieces. "I hear it takes like hours to make the head or something."

Mabel scoffed. "Grunkle Stan, I am an arts and crafts master. Why do you think I always have this glue you stuck to my arm?" to prove her point, Mabel held her arm up to show that there was indeed a glue gun, sticked to her arm, she tries to shake it off but it was stuck on pretty good.

"I got it." Lynn said as she was strong enough to pull it off.

"Thanks Lynn. Anyway, not only that, but Leni knows everything about fashion and can make the wax thing look spiffy, and Lola can add a little glitter to make it sparkley enough for everyone!"

"Fun!" Leni clapped her hands.

Stan was still a little hesitant to allow a teenager, a preteen, and a toddler to carry on with a task that may require a lot of sweat and sprained limbs, but then again that's what he makes them do everyday, plus he respects their determination. "I like your gumption kids!"

"We don't know what that word means, but thank you!" Mabel replied.


The three creative sisters decided that before they work on their own wax figure for the wax museum, they would first come up with some concept artwork ideas of their own making and wanted an opinion.

Dipper, Lori, and Lana were nearby drinking some cans of Pit Cola, seeing them, Mabel approached her siblings.

"Dipper, Lori, Lana!" she shouted to get their attention, which resulted in them choking on their soda.

"What is it Mabel?" Lori asked, annoyed.

"I wanna know what you guys think of our wax figure ideas" Mabel told them. "Show them Leni."

The air headed girl presented a clipboard drawing of a princess who has a horse sticking out of her stomach and her lower half is that of a horse. "Check it out guys, Mabel's idea is part fairy princess, part horse fairy princess." she flips it over. "Mine is a supermodel who's also a secret agent." one final flip. "And Lola's is a pixie with an army of loyal followers."

Their brother and sisters shared a collective confused and weirded out glance.

"So, what do you guys think?" Lola asked.

Dipper made sure to pick his words carefully, as he didn't want to hurt their feelings. "Not to criticize your creativity girls, but maybe you should carve something from I don't know real life." he offered.

"Oh I get it, like a waffle with big arms." Mabel showed them another sketch she made, showcasing it.

"Um, not exactly like that." Lana said.

"Try something simple, like someone or some people from your family." Lori suggested.

As if in cue, Stan walked without his pants on. "Kids, have you seen my pants?" he asked as he placed his foot on a stool and did an explorer like pose. The window was open, allowing sunlight yo enter the room and focused mainly on stan. If there was also a chorus group involved in some way, they would be singing.

Mabel, Leni, and Lola's eyes sparkled as they got a brand new idea. "Oh muse, you work in mysterious ways." they said in unison as they turned around and looked up at nothing.

"Why are your sisters talking to the ceiling?" Stan asked Dipper, Lori, and Lola.

With newfound inspiration, the three sisters went straight to work on the wax sculpture, they busted out all the tools needed, put on the goggles, and started to carve out the appearance, hours went by, they painted it with the right colors, and went off for the occasional bathroom break. After what seemed like forever, they were completwly done with their work and called in Soos and the rest of their siblings to show them. They were all pretty impressed by the work they accomplished together.

Lincoln let out a whislte. "Wow, you guys really outdid yourselves."

"Yeah, remind you to wax you three for anything. Haha get it?" Luan laughed, with only Soos agreeing with her.

"Thanks Lincoln, but..." Mabel backed up to take a thoughtful look. "I think they need more glitter."

"Agreed." Soos and Lola said, the handyman passed over a bucket full of glitter to Mabel, who poured it all over the wax figures.

Soon, Stan walked in, this time tnankfully wearing pants this time, but had no footwear on. "I found my pants, but now I'm missing my-AAHH!" he falls over with a surprised look once he noticed his nieces' work.

"What do you think?" Mabel asked, hoping her uncle would absolutely love what she and her sisters created.

Fortunately, this was the case when Stan smiled widely. "I think the wax museum's back in business!" then took note of another thing. "See you've decided to add some more of them." he noted.

"We thought it would be a nice touch." Mabel smiled.


As Stan prepared to reintroduce said the wax museum to the public, he tasked his nieves and nephews, along with Soos and Wendy to spread the word to the whole town, within hours the outside of the Mystery Shack was filled with cars that were parked, and people going to their seats.

Soos was guiding them with two tasty corn dogs.

At the stand, Dipper, Lincoln, Lana, Wendy, Luna, and Lori were working the stand.

"Man this place is packed." Lincoln observed, surprised by the such a long line. "All so they could see some creepy wax guys."

"These days, people will pay too see anything bro." Luna told her brother. "Just goes to show ya, the public can be swayed."

"Must why they would actually go to the Mystery Shack." Lori commented with a chuckle.

"Still though, can't believe so many people showed up." Dipper said, he's seen poor gullible people fall for his uncle's tricks, but this was bigger.

"I know right?" Wendy agreed. "Your uncle must've bribed them all or something?" she guessed.

"He bribed us." Lana said, as she, her brothers, and sisters each pulled out a dollar, their redheaded friend also pulled out a dollar of her own, they all shared an amused snicker.

Up on stage, Stan, alongside he rest of the Loud kids and Soos were ready to unveil the attraction. Mabel, Leni, and Lola were especially excited about showcasing their work to the town, Stan then walked up to the microphone standing next to wax figures hidden by sheets. He cleared his throat and tapped it a little, making a high pitch sound much to the discomfort of the audience.

"You all know me folks, town darling, Mr. Mystery." he boldly declared. "Please, ladies control yourselves."

No woman was shown having any interest in Stan, only blank stares.

"As most of you already know, I always bring the people off is fair town novelties and befuddlements, the likes of which the world has never seen before. But enough about me. Behold...Me!" he exclaimed pulling the sheet off. "Oh and the rest I guess."

He unveiled a wax replica of none other than himself, along with others that resembled the Loud kids. They were made to look like how they posed for the in their own minds, "perfect" group photo they gave their parents for their anniversary.

Soos hits his keyboard making a fanfare sound, followed by a, "Ye-ah! Ye-ye-ye-ye-ye-ah!"

Only two people in the audience clapped, followed by someone coughing.

"And now a few words firm out very own Mabel-angelo, Leni-atello, and Lola-phael.

"Wait, my name's not really Leni?" Leni asked in shock.

"It's Mabel, Leni, and Lola." Mabel corrected, taking the mic. "Thank you all for coming! My sisters and I made these sculptures with our own hands! They're covered in blood, sweat, tears, and other fluids."

The audience recoiled in disgust.

"Hah hah, thank you Mabel." Lola nervously laughed, as she took a turn with the mic. "Good afternoon, my name is Lola Loud, you may recognize me as a famous pageant winner. Do any of you pleasant looking people have any questions?" she sees a hand raised. "Yes, you there!"

The person who raised his hand was Old Man McGucket, the old coot who chased the kids with his robot monster.

"Old Man McGucket, local kook." he politely introduced himself. "My question is; are the wax figures alive? And follow-up question, what do I have to do to survive the wax-man uprising?"

"Um, yes?" Lola replied, confused. "Next question!"

A journalist looking man spoke up, holding what wasn't really a mic on his left hand. "Toby Determined, Gravity Falls Gossiper. Do you really believe this constitutes as a world wonder?" he inquired skeptically.

"Your microphone's a turkey baster, Toby." Stan deadpanned.

"It certainly is." Toby lamented.

"Next question." he points to an news anchorwoman. "You there."

"Shandra Jimenez. A real reporter." she sent a pointed look to Toby, who could only look away in shame, she held up one the flyers the kids scattered all over town. "Your flyers promised free pizza with admission to this event. Is it true?"

"That's what I heard!"

"Come on!"

"What a rip-off!"

"Pizza! I want my pizza!"

The townsfolk began to riot in outrage for not getting the pizza they were promised, the kids in the stand shared a nervous glance as they saw the chaos that was gonna unfold. Pretty soon, everyone was standing up and casted glares at contempt at Stan for not providing them with the food that they were promised to, sometimes the conman's cheapness and thick headed brain would always cause trouble for him no matter what happens, what was happening right now; a perfect example. Stan was especially afraid of Manly Dan punching his open palm with his fist and growling in pure rage that only a lumberjack would be capable of.

"That would be our cue to get out of here." Lisa told Luan and Lucy, who was carrying Lily. The four of them ran into the shack to avoid this.

Stan began panicking, he mentally slapped himself for not expecting this to happen, thinking fast he could only do the most logical thing in a situation such as this. Make a clean getaway. "That was a typo. Good night everyone!" he threw a smokebomb on the floor to cloud him taking all the admission fee with him.

This did not sit well with the crowd as one big guy among him sighed sadly, one could see that his shirt read "I Love Pizza." One s threw his chair aside and broke a lot of the chairs.

"In your face!" Manly Dan angrily punched a hole and left along with the furious people.

Now, the remaining Louds were left with a huge mess caused by the riot. "I think that well." Mabel confidently said, leaning on the admission table.


Later that evening, Stan and the kids were in the living room, the elder was counting up all the cash he was able to get from that fiasco. "Hot pumplin pie! Look at all this cash!" he happily said. "And we all know who to thank."

Mabel, Leni, and Lola were wiping Wax Stan, having moved the rest of the wax Louds to the back. Having overheard their uncle, they expected him to thank the three of them for his success.

"This guy!" Instead, he pointed to his wax doppelgänger. Mabel playfully punched his big gut. "Oof! Heh heh, okay I guess you three deserve some of the credit too." he admitted, ruffling Mabel's hair. "Now you and the rest go wash up. Tomorrow, we got another long day of fleecing rubes!" he urged them to go upstairs to the bathroom. "Go, go!" He sighed as he leaned on Wax Stan's shoulder. "Kids."

After that, Stan and his double watched some quality Duck-Tective, they reached up to the final moments of the episode where the main character and the Constable were standing near a tied up criminal.

"Well Duck-Tective, it seems that you've really quacked this case." the Constable quipped.

"Quack quack quack quack quack. (Don't patronize me." the water fowl quacked.

Stan laughed at this. "Stupid duck!" he insulted as he stood up. "Well, I'm gonna go use the John, you need anything?" he asked Wax Stan, his answer, nothing but silence. "Ha ha! I love this guy! Don't you go nowhere." he advised as he left.

Upstairs in the bathroom, the Loud kids were brushing their teeth in sync, getting ready to go to bed.

"Hey guys, wanna do a toothbrush race?" Mabel asked.

"Okay." Lincoln replied.

"You're so on!" Lynn agreed as well.

However, before they could even begin, a shout of terror belonging to Stan was heard from downstairs.

"No... No... Nooooooooooo!"

The kids stopped brushing and rushed out to go down to the living room to see what was up.

"Grunkle Stan, what's the matter?" Lana asked worriedly.

They saw their uncle tremble fearfully. "Wax Stan! He's been... m-murdered!" he gestured to the body of Wax Stan that was flat on the ground... with no head!

His kids could only gasp in shock, Mabel, Leni, and Lola were so horrified they fainted in Dipper, Lori, and Lana's arms.

"Well, that's one way to lose your head. Ha ha ha ha." Luan laughed, everyone gave her an angry look. "Yeah, you're right that was way inappropriate." she hung her head in guilt.

Stanford Pines wasted no time in calling the police to investigate this, right now he was describing to Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland what he recalled of this entire ideal.

"S-So I got up to use the John right? And when I came back, blamo! He's headless!" he told the officers who were taking notes.

Mabel, Leni, and Lola were especially mortified by this, Wax Stan was one of their greatest works, and now he was dead. Oh, what a world we live in when our wax models of our relatives get beheaded.

"Our expert hand crafting. Besmirched. Besmirched!" Mabel cried out, holding her face in her hands.

"This is so horrible!" Leni sobbed, breaking down to her knees.

"Whoever did this will pay." Lola promised. "They. Will. Pay!"

Dipper moved to land comforting hands on his twin and Leni's shoulders. "Who would do this?" he asked the police.

"What's your opinion Sheriff Blubs?" Durland asked his superior.

The sheriff looked at the family apologetically. "Look, we'd love to help you folks, but let's face the facts, this case is unsolvable."

"What?!" everyone exclaimed in outrage.

"You take that back, Sheriff Blubs!" Stan scowled, he expected these cops to help, but they're practically useless, no wonder he's been running from police for years.

"You're kidding right?" Dipper asked. "There must be evidence, motives."

"Don't you guys have someone for this?" Lincoln asked. "Why don't you call him in?" he suggested

"You know I can help out, if you want." Dipper told them.

Mabel and the others nodded eagerly, no one could figure out a mystery like their brother. "He's really good. He figured out who's been eating our tin cans." Leni said.

"All signs pointed to the goat or Lana. In the end, it turned to be both of them." Dipper said.

"And we covered our tracks well." Lana added.

"Yeah, yeah let the boy help." Stan agreed as well, if he can't count on the cops, then family might as well be the next best thing. "He and the one with glasses each have a brain up their heads."

The two policemen looked amused. "Ooooh well look what we got here." he nudged his companion. "City boy here thinks he's gonna solve a mystery with his fancy computer phone!"

"City boy! City boooooooooy!" Durland chanted.

"Kid, you are adorable." Blubs chuckled.

"Adorable?" Dipper repeated as if the word was foreign to him.

The two irresponsible officers proceeded to laugh cruely at his expense, which did not sit well with his brother and sisters.

"Hey!" Lori barked with a scowl, making them ceases their laughter. "Dont you dare mock our brother, jerks!"

"Yeah, he can solve this case way better than you!" Luna told them.

"He's one of the smartest people we know other than Lisa, so don't downplay that!" Lincoln said in anger.

"So back off, or else!" Lynn warned.

"Aww ain't you a cutie-" Durland began until the jock girl kicked him in the shin. "Ow!"

"All you two ever do is slack off and barely do your assigned occupation." Lisa said. "It's amazing that you haven't been removed of duty yet."

Dipper smiled, he was touched that his family was defending him.

"Hey now little missy, I have you know my deputy and I conduct very important police work." Blubs argued. His walky tally then turned on and dispatch spike through it.

"Attention, all units. Steve is about to fit an entire cantaloupe kn his mouth, I repeat an entire cantaloupe. If you don't wanna miss this moment in history, then get down here right this instant."

"It's a 23:16!" Durland exclaimed excitedly.

"Let's move out!" Blubs ordered, the two ran off laughing all the way.

Dipper was really ticked off by that adorable remark, they'll see, just because he's a kid doesn't mean he can't solve the mystery, he looked to his siblings and saw his twin, Leni, and Lola begin to tear up because no one was gonna bring justice to them and their work.

"That's it! You guys, all of us are gonna find the jerk who did this and we're gonna find that head!" he declared. "You all in?"

"Dipper, you don't even have to ask ." Lincoln said, speaking for everyone. "We're with you all the way. Right girls?"

"Yeah!"

"Nice, we'll show those two who's adorable." Dipper said with determination, then his nose began to run a little and gave a very high pitched sneeze.

"Aww Dippy, you sneeze like a kitten." Leni cooed as she softly pinches his cheek.

Her brother gave her an annoyed frown, while few of the sisters also gushed.


The next morning, the Louds began their investigation surrounding the death of Wax Stan, Dipper had Lola and Lana put up some police tape made from some toilet paper, the little blondes were wearing their cop sunglasses considering the circumstances, Lori took some photos with her phone, while Mabek did with a regular camera.

"Nics job securing the crime scene you two." Dipper complimented.

"Anytime chief." Lana replied.

"Okay guys, let's get down to bus-" he noticed that one of them was missing. "Wait, where's Lucy?"

"Here."

"Ah!" the kids jumped back as Lucy appeared out of nowhere once again. "Sorry for being late, I had to help Grunkle Stan organize Wax Stan's funeral service for later."

"Okay then. Anyway, Wax Stan had been brutally murdered, his head was taken and it's up to the thirteen of us to find it." Dipper summed up. "Lisa, if you'd please."

"I still fail to see why this needs investigating." Lisa blandly stated. "It's not even a real murder."

Lynn nudged her. "That doesn't matter genius. Think about them." she pointed to Leni, Lola, and Mabel and was reminded how personal this was to them.

The intellectual sighed. "Very well then." the young prodigy adjusted her glasses and moved to a board filled with pictures of various of people. "Through careful analysis and inferring the motive, the most likely suspect of this gruesome, heinous act is one of the attendants of yesterday's re-opening of the wax museum."

"That makes sense." Lincoln nodded. "A lot of people weren't really that happy when they didn't get the free pizza they wanted." he recalled how they all went crazy with anger.

"Love for pizza can make you do crazy things." Luna said sagely. "Question is, who was angry enough to do something like this?"

"It could be anyone, even us!" Mabel exclaimed.

"In this town, anything is possible." Dipper replied, taking out the Journal to see if it had any contents that could help. "Ghosts, zombies, could be weeks or maybe even months until we find our first clue."

As he talked, Luna saw something that peeked her interest. "Hey mates, check it out." she pointed to the floor which showed that there were footprints in front of Wax Stan.

"Foot prints in the shag carpet." Lincoln observed.

"Leni, you're up." Dipper tod her, knowing this was right up her alley.

His sister inspected the prints very closely. "Hmm. Size 9 male dress shoe, perfect for romantic dates and fancy dinner parties. And look, they have a hole in them."

"And they lead right behind the couch." Lana pointed, they followed the prints and saw a sharp axe hidden behind.

"Buh buh buh!" Lily babbled dramatically.

The sibling sleuths looked at each other in surprise, they found the murder weapon!

Now they needed an expert to analyze it, and they knew just the person to ask, the wisest man they've ever met, Soos. The handyman was working in the gift shop, and walked over to him.

"Oh hey dudes, what's up?" he greeted with a smile.

"Hi Soos, I take it you heard about what happened to Wax Stan?" Lincoln inquired.

"Yeah, I sure did." Soos nodded somberly. "Mr. Pines is sure torn up about it, haven't seen him this upset since he saw a hundred dollar bill go up in smoke."

"Well my friend, we've decided to find the sicko who did it." Dipper gestures to himself and his siblings. "We were investigating the scene of the crime when we found this." he handed Soos the axe they found. "Figured you might tell us something about."

"Hm." Soos carefully inspected the tool. "Well dude, in my opinion, it's an axe, typically used to cut down trees."

"I knew it!" Leni exclaimed.

Mabel realized something. "Wait a minute, guys the lumberjack!"

"Of course!" Lori snapped her fingers. "He was at the wax museum yesterday."

"Now that I think about it, he's also Wendy's dad." Luna added.

"He was pretty furious." Lucy pointed out.

"Furious enough for murder!"

"Oh, you must be talking about Manly Dan." Soos said. "Yeah, he usually hangs out at this crazy intense biker joint biker joint downtown."

"In that case, that's where we're going." Lincoln declared.

"Dude this is awesome, your a bunch of siblings who solve mysteries. You're like the Mystery Sibs." Soos suggested.

"Don't call us that." Dipper told him.

"I don't know, it has a nice ring to it." Lincoln countered.

"Let's just go already."

The kids went outside to head to the biker hangout Sood told them about to find suspect number one; Manly Dan Courdoroy. They passed by Stan who was having difficulty getting a coffin out of the trunk of his car.

"Hey, give me a hand with will this coffin will ya?" Stan asleep ked. "I'm doing a memorial service for Wax Stan. Something small, but classy." one last tug, got the coffin out. "By the way Lucy, thanks for putting it together, also for the mahogany suggestion, it'll hold nice."

"Happy to help with the departing of a helpless individual." Lucy replied.

"Sorry Grunkle Stan, but we got a big break in the case!" Dipper said with a serious look.

"Break in the case!" Mabel repeated.

"We're heading into town to interrogate the murderer." Lincoln explained.

"We have an axe!" Mabel took it out of Dipper's backpack and made horror movie screeching sounds.

Stan thought about how dangerous this could be for them. "Hmm. You know, this seems like the exact kind of thing responsible parents would never want you to do ever." he said sternly before smiling. "Good thing I'm an uncle. Avenge me kids. AVENGE MEEE!" he shouted to the heavens.


The Skull Fracture, just as Soos said, it was an extremely tough biker joint where the most unruly, violent men in Gravity Falls would go to either fight or cause some other disturbance. Most of the kids sneakily hid behind a dumpster, while Mabel and Lana emerged from it.

"This is the place alright." Dipper said, taking out an address card Soos gave him, he and his siblings looked and saw a huge, muscular bouncer with various tattoos, he briefly looked their way, making them go back to hiding. "Got the fake IDs?" he asked his twin.

Mabel took out thirteen handmade IDs and gave them to the others.

"I don't know about this." Lincoln said reluctantly. "Will these actually fool the bouncer?" his worries were justified as the IDs his sister made were drawn as if it was made in a children's coloring book.

"They'll have to if we want to get to the bottom of this mystery." Dipper responded, reminding his brother what they are there for.

Lincoln nodded and they moved out of their hiding spot to move forward with their mission.

The bouncer, who's name is Tats, was looking closely at an ID. "Sorry, we don't let in miners."

Just so everyone's aware, that wasn't a typo, he really was talking to a miner.

"Aw dagnabit!" he spat on the ground and walked off with a huff, passing by the Louds.

"Why would a miner go into a biker joint?" Lincoln asked, confused, Lynn shrugged in response.

"Hello there sir." Mabel greeted Tats. "We're here to interrogate Manly Dan for the murder of Wax Stan." They showed him their fake IDs which had fans ages for each of them, she then jiggles hers. "Dedlededle-e."

Tats shrugged. "Works for me." he allowed them to enter the joint.

Once they were inside, they were welcomed with the sigh of tough looking men fighting with each other, playing pool, and listening to loud music, the kids were slightly intimidated by all this, but tried to stay focused. They looked around to find at any sign of the lumberjack they were seeking for, Lincoln and Mabel walked over a body that was on the ground.

"Woah!" Lincoln yelped in horror.

"Don't worry Linc, he's just resting." Mabel assured her little brother.

"Is he Lori?" Lincoln asked the oldest.

She panicked and pushed him ahead as fast as possible. "Uh yeah, sure Lincoln, just get far away from him, he probably needs space."

"Okay, let's try and blend in, okay?" Dipper advised.

They nodded. "You got it Dippingsauce." Mabel said.

"Alright let's split up, Lincoln, Lori, Lola, Luna, Leni, you're with me." Dipper said, he and his team went to look for Dan.

"Okay ladies, let's look around." Mabel told her sisters. "Lucy, Lily, Lisa you're with me."

Luan caught sight of a group of thugs. "I'll go over there."

"Come on Lana. Let's look around." the tomboys went away.

Manly Adam was playing one of the games which had him arm wrestle with a mechanical man. "AAAAAGH!" he grunted.

Dipper and his group of siblings approached him. "Manly Dan, just the Lumberjack we wanted to see."

"What do you kids want?" he asked, a little annoyed.

Lincoln took over. "We wanna ask you some ques-"

"We know you did it you piece of scum!" Lola exclaimed cutting off her brother, she jumped and got in Dan's face. "Just admit that it was you! All you! We found your axe, no use in denying it!" she shook his neck forcefully, her older sisters had to pull her back. "You're gonna pay for ruining my exquisite work of art!"

"Cool it Lola!" Luna shouted.

"Litterally not helping!" Lori told her, struggling to stop her.

"What do you think you're doing?!" Lincoln frantically asked her.

Lola gave him a questionable look. "What? I was just playing bad cop, in these kind of situations, there's always a bad cop." she defended.

"Just let us do the talking!" Dipper told his younger sister, before addressing the lumberjack. "Sorry for my little sister's behavior, she didn't have her nap yet."

"Hey!"

"Anyway, we were wondering if you could answer some questions."

Manly Dan narrowed his eyes at them. "What kind of questions?!"

Lincoln took over. "Well for starters, where were you last night? Were you I don't know in a tourist attraction in the woods by any chance?"

"Actually, I was punchin' the clock!" Dan corrected.

"Why would you punch a clock?" Leni asked with a frown.

Lori sighed. "No Leni, he means he was at work." she clarified.

"No your sister's right, I really was punching that clock!" Dan pointed to a broken clock outside.

"10 o'clock." Dipper noted with a frown. "The time of the murder. So I guess you e never seen this before." he took out the axe they found.

"Listen little girls and one boy with white hair!"

Realizing that he was grouped with his sisters, Dipper tried to contradict him. "Hey, A-Actually I'm-"

"I wouldn't pick my teeth with that ax! It's left-handed!" Dan explained. "I only use my right hand! The manly hand!" he tore off the machine's arm and beats said machine with it.

Tyler provided with his usual chant. "Get 'im! Get 'im!"

"So, our perp mostly uses the left appendage." Lisa surmised.

Leni noticed something. "Hey, has anyone seen the others?"

"So then I said if I were you, I'd go for the baboon!" Luan finished her joke, enticing a roar of laughter from a group of bikers.

Lynn and Lana were just chilling with two patrons.

"Mabel was entertaining a thug with a cootie catcher while holding Lily, she, him, and Lucy were counting. "3, 4, 5, 6." Mabel gasped. "Your wife will be beautiful."

"Yes!" he cheered.

Lucy peered into a crystal ball. "Ooh, and from I can sense you're gonna have successful children."

"Guys, big break in the case!" Dipper told them, getting them to follow him out of the joint.

"But will she love me?!" the thug asked desperately.


After regrouping, Lincoln filled them on with what they learned from Manly Dan. "Okay, so now we know that the ax is left-handed, which means thatched culprit is a lefty, which rules out Manly Dan, since he's right-handed." he emphasized this by crossing off Dan's name on a list of potential suspects.

"So, all we have to do is find someone who's left handed who was also at the opening and we got our killer." Leni chimed. Everyone stared at her in shock. "What?"

"Leni, that was... correct." Lori said in amazement.

"Really? Huh, guess this case is making me think more."

"Well, yeah what she said is r-right." Dipper said, having a hard time to say the last word.

"Oh man, we are on fire!" Luna boasted.

"Now let's get that murderer!" Dipper said, prompting a joint fist bump with all the siblings.


Moving on, the next suspect on their list was Old Man McGucket, remembering their last encounter with him, and his lack of any sense of sanity, it was easy to assume him as the culprit, an assumption that was proven wrong when he waved hello to them with his right hand... that was inside a baby alligator. Next up was the big guy who loved pizza, out of all the guests he was the one who was the most dismayed over not getting his favorite snack; Luan dressed as a delivery man complete with a fake moustache rang the doorbell, and once he opened the door she handed him a clipboard to sign, however she saw him write with his right hand, this she leaves without giving him the pizza leaving him dismayed. The next person was an adult woman with a mean streak, Lynn whistled getting her attention the jock threw a baseball at her, she caught it with ease and squeezed it broken. They moved on to some random guy but both of his arms were in casts making them uncertain.

For a few more hours, the Louds went door to door, checking out any person for signs of being a lefty, but as they searched each result came up negative, until Dipper found one last name and got a euroka moment.

"Okay, we checked nearly everyone was at the shack yesterday, but we haven't found anybody who was left-handed." Lincoln lamented.

"Don't count us out yet Lincoln." Dipper said showing him and the sisters the notes. "Look, there's only one person left we haven't checked on this list." he showed them what he meant.

Lisa gasped in realization. "Of course, why couldn't I have seen it before?" she questioned, mentally slapping herself.

"It's so obvious." Mabel said.

The others shared this sentiment and knew what was left to do.


When night time came, they immediately contacted the same police officers they called at the night of the murder, though they were still skeptical of the kids, but they sure seemed confident that they knew who the perpetrator was, so they guessed it was worth looking into, they got the kids in the squad car and drove to the Gravity Falls Gossiper, they cautiously approached the entrance waiting to go in. "You kids better be right about this, or you'll never hear the end of it." Blubbs warned.

"The evidence is irrefutable." Dipper replied with confidence.

"It is like so irrefutable." Leni agreed. "Wait, what does that mean?"

"I get to use my nightstick." Durland giggled with excited glee.

"You ready? You ready little fella?" the two officers were anxious to get this police raid started.

"WHOO! WHOO! WHOO!"

"On three." Lincoln told them. "1...2...3!"

The cops kicked open the door with extreme force, surprising it's only occupant, Toby Determined. "Nobody move! This is the raid!"

The mock reporter fell off his chair. "Aaaahh! What is this? Some kind of raid?"

"Um yeah, the cop just said that." Lori pointed out.

"Derp!" Durland hits the lamp just for the thrill of it.

The siblings approached their suspect. "Toby Determined, you are under arrest for the murder of the wax body of Grunkle Stan!" Dipper announced.

"You have the right to remain impressed." Mabel said.

"With our awesome detective work." Luna added, they all exchanged high fives with each other

Toby got up with a terrified and confused expression on his face. "Gobbling goose feathers! I don't understand!" he exclaimed.

"Then allow us to educate you Mr. Determined." Lisa began to explain. "When you decided to attend the re-opening of the wax museum, you had a lot of hope that it would be the story that not only would save your failing newspaper, but when the show ended in less than favorable results, you were outraged, you blamed Stan for not giving you the story you needed, so you took matters into your own hands."

"I guess you could say, you decided to make your own headline. Haha, get it?' Luan quipped.

Ignoring another of her sister's corny jokes., Lori took over. "But you were literally sloppy, and all the clues lead to someone a reporter with shabby shoes and was caught left handed."

"Toby Determined, you're yesterday's news." Lincoln declared, prompting Luan to nod in approval.

"Nice."

Toby looked concerned, as if he was dismayed that he was caught, until his expression turned into one of amused. "Boy, all of your knees must be sore, from jumping to conclusions." he did a little dance to prove his point. 'Hachachachacha! I had nothing to do with the murder." he countered.

"Aha!" Leni proclaimed. "You admit it!"

"No, he said he said nothing? Did you say nothing?" Dipper asked, not expecting him to deny their accusation.

"Could you repeat that?" Mabel asked as well.

"So, if you had no part in the crime, then where were you at the night of the break-in?" Blubbs questioned.

Toby looked aside with an embarrassed look. "Ehhhh..." though a little hesitant at first, if it was to prove to them he wasn't responsible he might as well show them, no matter how much he'll regret this later on. "Come over here." he gestured them to follow him to a TV, then he took out a VHS tape and put it inside the player, showing them exactly where he was during the time of the murder and to prove to them that he wasn't the one at fault, all while humiliating him in the process. Soon, the image of him was seen and he appeared to be waling to a confined closet. "Just promise me, you won't say a word about this to anyone." he begged. "I don't know what'd I'd do of people judged me for who I was."

The kids and the police saw him pull something out of the closet, which was a cardboard cutout of a familiar newswoman anchor. "Finally. a moment alone with you, cardboard cutout of TV news reporter of Shandra Jimenez, if only you were the real thing." he proceeded o passionately kiss the replica, caressing it's fake body, much to the mutual disgust between everyone who was watching.

"Aw, sick!" Lynn blanched.

"I cannot ever unsee that." Lincoln winced.

"Now I'm even more tortured than I was before." Lucy lamented.

"Avert your eyes children." Luna put her hands in front of Lana and Lola's eyes.

"Timestamp confirms it." Blubbs said. "Toby Determined, your off the hook. You freak of nature."

Said man threw up his arms in celebration. "Hooray!"

Dipper didn't want to believe it, all the clues, all the evidence he and his brother and sisters have gathered all linked to Toby being the culprit, there was now way he could have been wrong about everything, he's supposed have an accurate assumption in nearly everything, there was no way he jumped the gun on this could there? "What? No, no, that can't be right." he protested, trying to find something to defend his stance.. "It has to be him! Check the axe for his fingerprints!" he insisted.

Durland holds up a neon light for Blubbs so that the latter could dust for fingerprints. "No prints at all."

"No prints?" Dipper questioned with a confused crown.

"Impossible!" Lisa shook her head in disbelief. "How else could Wax Stan's murder be possible?"

"Hey, I've got a headline for ya." Durland started. "Bunch of city kids wastes everyone's time!" the adults shared a humorous laugh at this, causing embarrassed looks and angry glares from the kids. Lynn kicked Durland in the shin again. "Ow!"

"Boy, I'd be pretty embarrassed if I were all of you." Toby admitted, ignorant of the footage of him making out with the cutout was still playing.

Lori glared at him. "You know I could record this and show it to the news lady, right?"

"Shutting up now."


The whole investigation was a complete bust, the kids returned to the shack since it was about time for the funeral service of Wax Stanford Pines, their real life uncle asked them if they found anything that would have brought his double's killer to justice, but was mildly disappointed when they told them that they didn't find anything, he told them that it was okay, they gave it their best shot, but it did little to stop them from feeling bad about letting him down, when they promised that they would find the culprit. The service was like any other usual one, except for the fact that it was for an inanimate object, still the atmosphere was depressing nonetheless, the kids minus Lucy were seated along with Stan, the rest of the wax figures and Soos, who was suppressing sobs and sniffles with a tissue. As for the goth girl, she was at the stage addressing everyone.

"Family, friends, other wax individuals." she began. "We are gathered here today in the Mystery Shack to grieve for the departure of Wax Stan, a being who was not long for this world, and didn't deserve the cruel death he suffered." she gestured to her uncle. "Now, a few words from his real person counterpart, Grunkle Stan."

The conman got up from his seat and melancholy approached the stage, Lcy moved out of the way to let him take over. "Thank you Lucy." he hugged his niece who returned it, grateful that she put this whole thing together, then she joined her siblings. "Kids, Soos, lifeless wax figures, thank you all for coming. Now, some people might say it's wrong and unnatural for a man to love a wax replica of himself."

Soos shot up and declared. "They're wrong!" he exclaimed.

"Easy Soos." his boss told him, and turned to the open casket that held his double's remains. "Wax Stan, I hope you're picking pockets up there in wax heaven." his lips quivered as he wiped his eyes a little. "I'm sorry, I got glitter in my eyes!" Not wanting to feel more grief, he ran out of the room, not wanting the kids to see him cry all the way.

Soos followed after his boss, to comfort him. "Oh, dude!"

The kids looked on in sympathy, heartbroken by the pain their uncle was going through. "Poor Grunkle Stan." Leni lamented.

Dipper sighed, dejectedly. "Those cops were right about me." he spoke up, catching his siblings off guard. "I was kidding myself, there was no way for me to solve this mystery." the others didn't like to see him beat himself up like this.

"Come on bro, don't be like that." Luna put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Yeah, unlike them, you actually did something." Luan reminded him.

"Even the brightest minds make mistakes elder brother." Lisa told him. "Even me, as much I don't want to admit."

"Besides, you did your best Dipper." Lana said.

"But it wasn't enough." Dipper insisted, standing up moving to the coffin. "I mean, I considered everything; the motive, the weapon, all the clues we found." he stared at Wax Stan with a look of complete remorse, but then he noticed something. "Hey guys, Wax Stan's shoe has a hole in it." he called them to see for themselves.

"Well yeah, all the wax guys have one." Mabel pointed out. "It's where those pole thingys attaches to their stand dealy."

Lily gasped. "Gah! Gah! Gah! Gah!"

"What's wrong Lily?" Lincoln asked, his baby sister pointed to the hole, that's when he remembered. "Wait, guys, those footprints we found at the crime scene had a hole just like that."

That got Dipper thinking, back at the Gossiper the axe was revealed to have no fingerprints, and as he thought more, the pieces started to come together like a puzzle, as crazy as it might be, there can only one conclusion. "Guys, what has a hole in its shoe, and no fingerprints? Don't you see? The murderer is..."

"Standing right behind you." a british voice interrupted.

Everyone became as stiff as statues as they slowly turned around and were welcomed to the shocking sight of Wax Sherlock Holmes standing upright, moving freely as if he were actually a human being, soon his fellow wax brethren followed his example, they moved from their poses to actually moving with actual free will, takin them all by surprise and fear, Dipper looked at each of them in shock. "Wax Sherlock Holmes, Wax Shakespeare, Wax Elvis, Wax Coolio?!"

"'Sup Holmes?" Coolio greeted Sherlock.

Wax Lizzie Borden took the axe from Mabel as she and her compatriots glared evilly at the siblings.

"Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!" Mabel gasped in fear, hiding behind Dipper.

"The wax guys are alive?!" Lana shrieked.

"What is with this town?!" Lori cried out.

"Congratulations, my group of amateur sleuths." Wax Sherlock sneered, his voice dripping with sarcasm "You've unburied the truth. So now we're going to bury you!" he declared making them gasp. "Though I must admit, I am impressed Dipper Pines, you and you're siblings are the few people who know of our little secret." Holmes took out Wax Stan's severed head, proving that he truly was the killer. "Applaud, everyone, applaud sarcastically." his allies did so, only it wasn't the kind that he was expecting. "No. No, stop, that is way too sincere. Try the slow clap." they did as he instructed. "There we go, nice and condescending." he nodded in approval.

"But, how is this possible?" Dipper inquired with a nervous frown. "You're made of wax!"

"Are you...magic?" Leni asked with child like wonder.

Wax Sherlock simply laughed in pure amusement. "Magic?" he turned to the others. "Everyone, they wish to know if we're magic!" he slammed his hand hard on the coffin with a furious glare, making them jump. "We're cursed! he growled.

"Cursed! Cursed!" the other wax figures chanted.

"Cursed to come to life, whenever the moon is waxing. Your uncle, Stan Pines, bought us all many years ago at a garage sale." Holmes recalled.

"A haunted garage sale, son!" Wax Coolio clarifies.


Many years earlier...

At a broken down home, Stan is negotiating with the owner of a garage sale, he had come from Gravity Falls to look for any possible attractions he would use fir the Mystery Shack, the seller showed him his collection of wax figures. "I must warn you, these statues come at a terrible price!" he ominously informed the conman.

Stan looked at Sherlock's price tag. "20 dollars?!" he asked in outrage. "I'll just take 'em when your not looking." he told the seller casually.

"What?"

"I said I was gonna rob ya."

Cut to in the shack, where the people of the town all came to look at the new wax museum, many were taking photos with the figures while children would just mess with them.

"And so, the Mystery Shack Wax Museum Collection was born, by day, we kept up the charade of being nothing more but the playthings of humanity, allowing them to use us as they pleased."

"But when the sun came down and your uncle went to sleep, we would rule the night." Coolio continued.

Once the shack closed down for the night, the wax figures would go all around the house, casually hanging out and engage in activities that normal people would often do, free to being themselves and no fear of being discovered, in the kitchen Larry King was playing with Coolio's hair." "Hey man, I told you to stop that."

"Make me." Larry dared.

Holmes and Edgar Allen Poe were in Stan's bedroom, the detective was putting his finger inside the sleeping conman's nose, while Poe took a picture as they laughed mischievously, however the camera flash woke him up for a brief time, they instantly took their usual poses, shrugging, he went back to sleep, allowing the two to resume with their horseplay.

"It was a charmed life for us cursed wax people." Holmes continued. "The night was the only time for us to truly be more than just statues with no movement, for a long while, we were happy. Alas, like all good things in the world, it came to an end."

Next, we see Stan holding an empty box, disappointed that the wax museum wasn't making as much money as it used to, no longer finding any need for them, he puts them all in a storage room, never to be seen again.

"And so came the day where your uncle closed up shop and had the audacity to put us all in storage." As the years went by, we see the shack change in that timespan, the room where all the wax guys were stored in was soon covered up, and would never be discovered, until Soos found the doorknob to the room and used it open it, and well, you know the rest. "Finally we were free, free to do whatever pleased us once more, and the first thing we wanted to do, was enact our shared vengeance. As we were in that dark room for 10 years, our anger for your uncle grew, to the point where we decided he should pay for his crimes." At night, we see Sherlock approach menacingly with an axe to what he initially perceived as Stan, he raised it and brought it down, slicing the head off, but to his disappointment, it wasn't the Stan he was targeting.

"But we got the wrong guy."

Realizing his error, Holmes left the seen before the real Stan could arrive.


The tale told by the wax replica of the world's greatest detective both astounded and terrified the kids, for they had just realized the wax people's true motive. "So, you were gonna kill our uncle for realsies?!" Leni shrieked in terror.

"Dude that is just sick!" Luna yelled.

"This actually was a real murder case!" Lincoln clinged to Luna in fright, who hugged him back.

Mabel turned to her brother. 'You were right all along, Dipper! Wax People are creepy!"

"Perhaps, but I believe we should be more concerned that they also happen to be homicidal!" Lisa reminded them.

Holmes snickered evilly. "How right you are, dear girl. For now that you all know our secret, you must...die." he revealed as his along with his friends' eyeballs rolled back to make them appear more ominous and threatening, which worked well, for as they approached the band of siblings, who promptly backed up in fear, knowing full well that they were gonna make good on that claim, the older siblings held the younger ones, trying to at least make sure none of them would get hurt. The wax people may not have been able to murder Stan, but what better way to make the old man suffer than by killing his family?

The kids backed up against a table, as they tried to find any solution to their predicament. "What do we do?! What do we do?!" Mabel shouted in fright.

"Just throw stuff at 'em!" Lynn yelled. Everyone complied, seeing that at the time, there was no other way to combat the horde of homicidal figures. However, this proved futile, for it looked like whatever wax was used to make them, it was strong enough to withstand a full frontal assault. The Wax people paid no mind to the various silverware that collided with their bodies, they only had one thing in mind; completely annihilate the family of the man who locked them away in the darkness for so long. Soon, the kids were left with nothing left to throw a their enemies, save for a pot of hot, freshly made coffee, of which Lincoln grabbed and threw it at Wax Ghengis Khan. The contact with the extreme temperature of the liquid burned his face and made it look loke he was melting, the wax figure of the famous Mongul warrior screamed as he felt the pain.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

Lincoln gasped in remembrance. Back when they first found the room where all the wax guys were kept in, the wax version of Abraham Lincoln had already melted due to exposure to sunlight, which involved heat. "That's it! guys, we can be these with anything that feels very hot, it will completely melt them all to the ground!"

"We can use the electric candles." Lucy told them, gesturing to the table, with one for each of them. Taking them, they readied themselves against all the wax people, who promptly backed away, not wanting to come in contact woth the heat producing devices.

"Anyone move, and we'll melt you into candles!" Lana threatened with an eager grin.

"Decorative candles!" Lola supplied, with an intense look.

Despite the odds turning over to the Louds, Wax Holmes's resolve was still undeterred "You really think you children can defeat us?" he dared.

The kids took a moment to consider this question, even if it was rhetorical.

"I-I don't really know." Dipper admitted. "I'm honestly not really sure."

"I mean, it's a nice thought." Lincoln shrugged. "If I'm speaking for real here, I'd rather not get maimed by wax people, you know? To be honest, who would?"

"Amen to that, bro." Luna nodded.

"Statistically, it would really be either good or bad for each of us." Lisa analyzed. "If anything, there should at least be numerous casualties. Preferably, that number would be all of you."

Wax Holmes growled. If these children would want to throw away their lives so recklessly, then who said that they should stop them? "So be it! Attack!" he declared to his compatriots.

And so, the battle between the wax replicas of historical people and the children of the Loud clan begun. Each Loud kid split up into teams to take on their own individual enemy. Lincoln, Lynn, and Lana faced off against Wax Lizzie Borden who swungher axe wildly at them, but they were able to dodge each strike, Lincoln used his candle to stab at one of her legs making it melt. The wax version of the serial killer screamed as she lost her balance and fell down, but kept swinging her axe around, she was able to land a hit on Lincoln and slightly cut his leg."

"AH!"

Seeing this, Leni came to him. "Linky!" she helped him up and inspected the wound. "Did she hurt you?!"

"I-I'm okay." Lincoln reassured his sister with a wince. "Just a little cut."

The ditzy Loud sister turned to Wax Lizzie Borden in one of the rare cases that she was absolutely furious, she charged with her electric candle to stab at her eye that made the fake famous serial killer cry out in pain. "Don't. Hurt. My. Baby. BROTHER!" she sliced apart every wax limb on Wax Lizzie and watched as she melted away.

"Wow Leni, that was cool." Lana complimented.

"Make way kid!" the young tomboy looked and saw Wax Richard Nixon charging at her and at Lucy, the tomboyish six-year-old used her candle to cut off one of the legs with her gothic sister slicing the other and the former president tripped and fell into the fireplace, he screamed as he was melted away which didn't freak Lucy out at all, in fact she was sort of transfixed by it.

"Cool..." she breathed.

Mabel was then cornered by Wax William Shakespeare but she was bale to slice both of his arms off, however the severed appendages were still in motion as one wrapped around the sweater lover's neck in a chokehold. He rock star sister came to her aid. "I got your back sis!" she opened the door and slammed it repeatedly on the arm.

Dipper, Lucy, Lola, Luan, and Lori were fighting off their own Wax opponents. Wax Larry King came at Luan, but she sliced his entire head clean off from his bed. "Ha! Interview that, Larry King!" she quipped, but wasn't aware of Wax Groucho Marx leering over her, luckily Dipper came to in, slicing the once famous comedian across the waist.

"Jokes on you Groucho!" Dipper smirked.

Luan patted his head. "Nice one, Dipping sauce." she complimented on the attack and on the quip.

"I've heard about a cutting remark, but this is ridiculous." Wax Groucho gave one last pun as he fell but noticed that he wasn't holding a cigar. "Hey, why is there nothing on my hand?"

"Hahahaha!" Luan held her sides as she laughed. "I'm sorry, but he is just so funny even in wax form!"

Dipper then noticed that Wax Genghis Khan was advancing to both of them, making him push himself and Luan out of the way, leaving the war lord to fall into the fireplace. "Ha, Genghis Khan, you fell harder than the uh...Qin Dynasty?" he shrugged. Luan winced and shook her head. "Yeah, alright."

Lori and Lisa fended off Wax Coolio, the oldest of the siblings was able to slice off the head. "Lynn, catch!" she threw it over to the sports fanatic who began to spin it around, much to his discomfort.

"Come on you wax freaks, get some of this!" she yelled, daring any of them to face her wrath. With every spin, the head of Wax Coolio struck each of his fellow wax beings. Lynn then noticed Sherlock Holmes grab a mounted sword and was approaching Dipper. "Bro, heads up!" she shouted to him in alarm.

Dipper turned around and gasped in fright at the sight of the detective, he swung his sword at the boy and disarmed him of the candle which broke as it gell on the floor leaving the Loud boy defenseless. Sherlock swung the sword, ready to strike his enemy down, but Lincoln picked up to pokers and threw one at his brother. "Catch!" Dipper did so and blocked the strike, Lincoln stabbed at Sherlock's back making him scream and attack the white haired child, making it a duel between the Loud brothers and the wax monster. Their fight led them out of the room and upstairs to the attic, Sherlock was determined to rid himself of the two boys who have been a pestilence to him and his plans, but the brothers were more tenacious than he thought until he was able to back them into a wall.

"Once you two, your sisters, and your uncle are out of the way, we will be free to rule the night once more." Sherlock declared as he prepared to strike them down from where they stood.

Both brothers prepared themselves for what seemed like their inevitable demise, but then Dipper noticed the window to outside, he nudged Lincoln and pointed to where he was looking at. Exchanging a nod, they both ducked as the sword struck the wall instead. "Don't count on it!" Lincoln said as they went out the window with Sherlock following them.

"Get back here, you little brats!" he shouted after them as he saw the brothers go up to the sign of the Mystery Shack. He restarted their duel as one of his attacks caused the S in the name to fall off. Lincoln and Dipper couldn't find any other way to escape from him, for they backed up to the edge of the building, with Sherlock ready to finish them off. "You really think you children could actually defeat me?! I'm Sherlock bleeding Holmes! Have you seen my magnifying Glass! It's enormous!" he was so engrossed with himself that this gave them time to climb all the way to the top sign and land on the other side of the shack, they slipped but landed safely on the edge. Taking deep breaths, they looked to see if he was there, but so far it looked like they were safe, the Loud boys breathed sighs of relief, until Sherlock appeared right next to them and kicked them to the side. He looked down on them with his soulless eyes and raised his sword up high. "Any last words?"

"Um..." Dipper looked to the side and smiled. "Got any sunscreen?"

"Got any..." Sherlock was at first confused at these words until he felt something drip on him. "What?" he watched in horror as he saw his hands begin to melt along with his entire being. But this shouldn't be happening unless...a dreaded thought came to mind as he turned and saw the sun rise up. "No..."

Lincoln and his brother gave him triumphant smirks. "You know for the world's greatest detective, letting us lead you outside was probably not your sharpest decision."

"Outsmarted by a child in short pants and his brother with white hair?!" Sherlock lamented in disbelief. "Nooooooo! Fiddlesticks! Humbugs! Tiiter, total kerfuffle. Butter Hallabaloo." soon, all but his face was a melting mess as he slipped to the edge.

"Case closed." Dipper wiped his hands, causing dust to get in his nose. "Ah-Choo!"

"Ha ha ha!" Sherlock gave one last laugh. "You sneeze like a kitten, those policeman were right, you're adorable. Adorable...!" he shouted as he fell down and splashed into a puddle on the grass.

The Loud brothers watched this with disturbed expressions. "Ew." Lincoln winced.

"Dipper! Lincoln!" both turned and saw Lori appear. As soon as she saw the two boys, she enveloped both of them in a hug. "Oh thank goodness, are you okay?! Did that creep hurt you?!" she looked over them in a motherly manner.

Lincoln gave her a reassuring smile. "Were fine Lori."

"Come on." she guided them to follow her. "Everyone's waiting back inside."


With all of the living wax figures either melted or dismembered, the rest of the sisters threw them into the fireplace. "Though our group be left in twain, man of wax shall rise again!" Wax Shakespeare's head shouted to the girls, promising them that the threat of wax people shall always be there. Lucy picked him up with a curious look.

"Know any limericks?" the poet asked.

Shakespeare thought for a moment. "Uh. There once was this dude from Kentucky-"

This wasn't good enough for the 8 year old. "Nope." she threw the head into the fire.

"Alright, I think that's all of them." Lisa said.

Soon, their three siblings walked in perfectly fine, much tot heir relief. "Guys, you're okay!" Mabel cheered as the siblings gathered together. "You solved the mystery after all, bro-bro." she smiled at her twin.

Dipper used a chair to get Wax Stan's head off the mounted animal. "I couldn't have done it without my team or my sidekick." he winked at his twin.

"No offence Dipper, but you're the sidekick." Mabel contradicted.

"What? Says who? Have people been saying that? Have any of you heard that?" he asked his siblings who shrugged.

Hearing a lot of commotion, their caretaker walked in to see what was going on in his house and saw what was left of the Wax Museum. "Hot Belgium Waffles!" he exclaimed as he saw the kids have nervous smiles on their faces. "What happened to my parlor?!"

"Grunkle Stan, ha ha." Lori sweated nervously. "Uh, what happened was-"

Whatever clever excuse she could have given to her uncle was cut of as Lana and Lola spoke up. "All your wax guys turned out to be evil, so we fought them to the death!"

"I decapitated Larry King." Luan informed him.

Stan stared at his nephews and nieces with a perplexed look before giving a good natured laugh. "Ha ha! You kids and your wild imaginations!" he waved it all off as children playing some games.

"On the bright side, look what we found." Dipper tossed him Wax Stan's head with a smile.

The old conman was ecstatic to find the missing part of his counterpart. "My head!" he cheered. "Ha ha! I sure missed this guy, you done good kids! Everyone line up for some affectionate noogie-ing."

"Oh, I'm not so sure about that. Is there an alternative...?" Dipper tried to dissuade him.

"Not the hair!" Lola protested.

The only ones who didn't mind were Lana and Lily as their uncle ruffled their hairs with his fist making them all chuckle and enjoy this family moment, then the sound of sirens grabbed their attention. Pulling in front of the shack were the same cops who refused to take their case and belittle their detective skills. "You solved the case yet boy?' Blubbs asked with a teasing smirk, same with his partner. "I'm so confident that you're gonna say no, that I'll take a long slow sip from my cup of coffee." the sheriff began to do so.

Rather than feel embarrassed by them again, Dipper was happy to prove them wrong. "Actually, the answer is yes." he held up the head to show them that they did succeed. Lily gloated by blowing a raspberry at them.

Blubbs was so unprepared by this that he choked up a little and spat the hot coffee on his deputy's face. "AAAAAHHHHH!" Even more hilarious, Durland was also drinking some coffee and returned the spit take.

"AAAAAHHHH!"

It soon became a cycle of them repeatedly spitting the smoking liquid on each other. "It burns! It burns!" the sheriff screamed as he drove them away.

The family shared a collective laugh over the cops' misfortune, especially the kids since they find it only fair since they thought so lowly of them. "They got scalded!" Stan pointed as they faintly heard the sound of a car crash.

Lincoln turned to his sisters. "So did you guys get rid of of all the wax figures?" he asked, hopefully.

"Ain't no sweat bro, all them wax creeps are burning." Luna replied with a confident grin.

"I am 99.9% sure that we did." Lisa added.

"Good enough for me." Dipper shrugged, happy that this nightmare was over.

Little did they know, there was only one wax figure left standing. The disembodied head of Larry King. He had discreetly hid himself from the Louds as they took care of his fellow wax people and was hiding in the vents. The host watched the unsuspecting family with a sinister laugh. "Ha ha ha ha-Huh?" he stopped as soon as he noticed a rat was right next to him. "So you're a rat, tell me about that." but instead, the vermin took a bite out of his ear and scurried off. "Hey, get back here!" he began to hop after the ear thief. "I'm hopping! I'm hopping after a rat that stole my ear!"


End Credits

The next morning, Mabel was debating which sweater she should choose, the purple one with sequins or the one filled with hair from an actual Llama. It was a tough decision but it was lucky for her to have one of the more fashionable sisters nearby. "Hmm. Hey Lori, which do you think looks better? Sequins or Llama hair?"

She failed to notice Larry King's head hop to the vent next to her. "The Llama hair. Llamas are nature's greatest warriors." he told her, having heard her question.

"Thanks big sis!" Mabel smiled.

Lori, who was reading a magazine promptly stopped and looks around with a confused expression. "Um, you're welcome?"


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