Chapter 16

"What would an ocean be without a monster lurking in the dark? It would be like sleep without dreams."

Werner Herzog

Dr. Temperance Brennan was no intellectual slouch, she was a thinker, organized in her approach to life. She analyzed and sorted information, carefully made decisions, catching details and possibilities most people missed. As a result, her life steadily progressed forward, upward, despite the many obstacles and trials in her way. Which was precisely why she was lying awake in the middle of the night while Booth slept soundly beside her, calculating the days since her last menses, approximating time of ovulation, and cautiously computing the odds that their sexual excursions would result in pregnancy.

Looking over at the digital clock on her bedside table, she notated the time, closed her eyes, and let out a quiet, controlled sigh through pursed lips. Turning her head, she rolled her whole body, coming to rest on her side. Booth was lying there beside her. He was beautiful. It wasn't the first time she'd seen him sleep. He often napped in her office when they were in the middle of a case. Working long tedious hours took their toll, napping made sense, a good use of time while they waited for results. As well as several times when undercover work forced them into tight quarters. But he never looked like this before, not to her, never so perfectly beautiful. She attributed it, rightly, to the change between them.

Reaching out, she let her fingers trace his browline. He mumbled her name, gathering her into his arms and settling her body next to his. Technically, it was still the same day as the first time they made love. It was late at night, that was early in the morning, still, she counted it as the second time they lay sleeping in one another's arms, well, not sleeping, not for her, not yet, but that wasn't the point, the point was how natural it felt to be with him like this, so comfortable. It was the sound of her name on his lips, his arms around her body as if they'd been doing this for months or years, not less than twenty-four hours, less than one day.

One day.

One day that led her to consider seven days. She needed to be on oral contraceptives for seven days before they were reliably effective. The clear recommendation was to overlap with an alternative form of birth control for at least a week. Some brands touted that it was safe after two. Two days. While others encouraged an overlap in protection for up to a month, to be safe. She believed in being safe.

After the Florida case, or rather, before they left to investigate the Florida case, to be more specific, she saw the markers, knew this was coming, this relationship change with Booth. It was clear, and when they returned to D.C. she made an appointment with her gynecologist. It took several weeks to get in, which was okay because Booth made it very clear that their relationship would not be progressing until after Broadsky was caught. After. Of course, they didn't know when that would be when they had the conversation, but it turned out to be weeks, several weeks. Enough time for her to have the appointment, get the prescription, deliver it to her pharmacy, and have it filled. She picked it up four days ago.

Four days.

Reliable coverage from birth control relied on reliable usage of the pill itself. Inconsistency in taking the pill clearly caused inconsistencies in effectiveness. Four days is hardly enough time to establish a pattern of reliable usage or to meet the recommended minimum of seven days use of the pill before having unprotected sex. The problem, as she saw it, was that she didn't start taking them four days ago when she picked them up from the pharmacy. She took her first pill the night before she met Booth and Sweets at the diner for breakfast. Mr. Nigel-Murray joined them with news of the arrival of their dinosaur bones. That was the day he died, yesterday. She wasn't home to take the second pill that night, she was at Booth's, where despite their plans to wait until Broadsky was in custody, they made love.

Made love.

It was careless of her to let them make love knowing that she was not yet completely covered by her chosen form of birth control. Careless. Memories of their first coupling flooded her body, mental, physical, and though she did not believe in a higher power of any sort, she, herself would be tempted to add spiritual to that list. Her eyes fell closed and the familiar burn of tears welling behind her eyelids defied her. Exhausted, she was so exhausted that night, overcome by circumstances of that day, distraught.

She didn't think, she couldn't think, just act, not with the intent to make love to Booth, no, she needed help. She got off that couch and she went into his bedroom for help. She let him comfort her because she needed his comfort, more than anything in the world she needed Booth's comfort, and once she was there, she couldn't imagine going back out to that couch, alone, couldn't bear it. She asked to stay with him, and her need, her need was so overwhelming, and not just her's, his too, their mutual need overpowered all reason. Her mind was in neutral, maybe not even in neutral, completely turned off, disengaged, to stick with Booth's manual transmission car metaphor, and her heart, her heart was definitely in overdrive.

"Shhhh." Booth's arms held her in a little tighter. "Stop thinking. Sleep."

He was right. She needed sleep. What was done was done. And if her calculations were correct, by somewhat narrow margins, she shouldn't be ovulating, and if she wasn't ovulating, she wouldn't get pregnant. Booth's lips pressed against her forehead, his fingers drew light patterns on her shoulder and she found herself taking long, deep, even breaths. Two pills, she consoled herself, she took two pills as directed, to make up for the day she lost, and she wouldn't miss any more. Her restless spirit was waking Booth, she felt him stir, and when he spoke again, he wasn't nearly as groggy.

"It's okay, Bones, whatever it is, it's okay, you're safe with me, I'll protect you." This man was the embodiment of safety to her, his voice calm and sure. She found herself relaxing a little more with each breath.

Her last conscious thought was quiet and resolved, she'd talk to Booth about it, but not now. They'd purchase condoms of his choosing in the morning and use them for a week to be sure they were safe, maybe the whole month, there was less risk in that. Concerns momentarily assuaged, she found herself drifting off among his quiet reassurances and consolations.

She slept hard, no tossing or turning. So deep she dreamt, Booth's hands were on her, his thick palms lightly running along her naked body, their slight roughness stimulating against her tender skin. The warmth of his breath heavy on the back of her neck, and his lips, his lips open, the tickle of his tongue there too. Senses overloaded, she felt like she could barely breathe as he ran his hands over the most sensitive parts of her body. It wasn't until he flipped her onto her back and settled between her legs pushing into her in one swift swing of his hips that she realized it wasn't a dream.

Sunlight streaming through the blinds cast long, ribbons of shadow across his body. Faster and harder, she could feel her body coil, tighten, and she longed for the release she felt building. Release. Orgasm. First her, then he'd follow. In the heavy mist of that beautiful haze, all her panicked thoughts from the middle of the night came flooding back.

"Booth." Breathy, desperate, the sound of his name didn't slow him down, if anything it encouraged him. He didn't understand and she couldn't think clear enough to articulate her concern. "Booth." She tried again. "I...I'm...I...oh god, I'm close." That was all she could manage, but he caught it, the slight hint of something in her voice, enough to garner his attention. She could feel him pull back a little, watching her, as he continued his sweet assault, such an attentive lover, so in tune with her. "I...I...can't," she added.

"You can." Kissing lightly across her forehead at the edge of her hairline, he slowed his pace, thinking maybe he was hurting her and whispered reassurances. "You can...you can...just let go."

"We...we can't." He was already descending, laying kisses down her neck, so lost in the feel of her that it didn't register at first, it took a minute for it to sink in.

"We?"

"Birth control." Fighting his way through his own blissful mental fog, he tried to connect what she was saying.

"Birth control?"

She only nodded at first, her senses still wildly out of her control. "Yes." It should've been a mood killer, but he was in too deep, they both were and they wrestled, back and forth, slowing then picking up the pace.

"We haven't talked about it." This time she shook her head, agreeing, no, they hadn't; until he started to pull away from her, backing out.

"Don't." Still catching her breath, she held him close. "Don't go." Those stormy eyes darted across his features, a look in them he couldn't quite define, but left her looking so vulnerable.

"I'm not, I'm here, Bones, I'm right here with you. I'm not going anywhere."

"I started the pill."

"Okay? So, we're covered?" He was a little confused as to why they were having the conversation if there wasn't some kind of problem. Taking in a deep, sharp breath she exhaled it in one hard huff.

"Just a few days ago."

"A few days?" She was finally getting her senses back under control and her ability to communicate was returning.

"Two days...or three...depending on how you count. If you start with the first day I took it w-"

"Bones."

"I mean, we should be fine, I've done the calculations." He smiled warmly his body moving within her as he adjusted his weight. God, she found already herself craving this feeling, being with him, connected like this, the feel of him moving inside her, no control over the soft sounds of pleasure and approbation his touch drew from her.

"Calculations." His eyebrows waggled and he deliberately rocked into her, slow at first with a snap of push before pulling back again, several times over, savoring her expression as he felt her body react to him.

"Calculations, yes." He could already see the change in her eyes as conscious thought gave way to sensuality. Too tempting a state to not direct all his efforts into achieving.

"God, I love you." Shaking her head, she patted his shoulders and chest in resistance, trying to get him to stop for just a minute.

"Overlap, we...we have to...overlap for a few days." Pausing briefly, she took a breath before adding an observation. "You have an odd fascination with my mathematical abilities."

"It's sexy." She groaned, he, he was sexy, his determined pursuit of rendering her speechless irresistible.

"Sexy?" His divine kisses rounded the swell of her breast, anticipation drawing her further in as she ran his fingers through his hair, her hands guiding him.

"Hot. Very hot, but then I find just about everything you do hot." They were lost, abandoning the conversation for a more physical form of communication until Booth picked it back up. "So, condoms then?"

"Don't have any."

"Do you wanna stop?" Which he did, stop, momentarily, entirely.

"God, no. But..." Groaning, she registered her disapproval, encouraging him with the swing of her hips and wandering hands. It wasn't an option, stopping, not really.

"I'll pull out." He offered. "I...I'll pull out before, you know…"

"No, I don't know. Before?"

"You know, before I…" He looked so uncomfortable and she couldn't help but relish in making him say it, her playful eyebrows taunting him. "I'll pull out before I...before I come, okay? Happy now? I said it."

She smiled, satisfied, smug, and let out a low chuckle, then took advantage of his momentary vulnerability and flipped them. Coming to rest atop him, towering above. God, she was beautiful. She hummed, basking in the feel of his hands rubbing along the curve of her hips before backing away, working her way down his chest in focused pursuit of greater conquests.

"Promise." She whispered against his skin as his eyes rolled shut and a pleasured moan escaped him.

And he did promise, he was a man, an experienced man, who knew himself well enough to judge how close he was. He could do this for her, for them, until she did this thing with her hips and the movement was, god, it was incredible. It caught him off guard and he reacted, without thinking, hard and fast, too fast to control it. Her hands clenched the sheets on either side of her, fisting them, as waves of ecstasy rolled through her body, and they both tumbled over the edge, their bodies thrumming together. It happened too fast for either of them to do anything but feel it.

He apologized, forehead to her shoulder, still pulsing within her.

She tried, unsuccessfully, to convince him it was okay.

He was skeptical. After all, why would she bring it up in the middle of making love if it wasn't a real risk, one she clearly gave a lot of thought to.

She countered, laying out each careful calculation she worked out just hours earlier as she lay there watching him sleep. Dates and times, a mini-biology lesson complete with details on her cycle, in much greater detail than he really wanted to hear, including her ovulation patterns dating back to a time when she considered using his sperm to have a baby and carefully charted it. It was old information, but surely relevant, especially considering it was the only time in her life where she actually kept a record of her own ovulation.

It worked. He finally accepted her argument that they were safe, that her ranting in the middle of lovemaking was, well, her, a manifestation of her own overly cautious approach to life. Plan, plan well, and live according to plan, that was his Bones. The more she talked the more he realized how unsettled she was by the last forty-eight hours, no part of which went according to any kind of plan. If she said there was nothing to worry about, well, then there was nothing to worry about. Math, her math, backed up her arguments and she was a genius. So, he dropped it, completely, didn't think about it again.

It wasn't that easy for her.

Those same arguments she used to convince Booth didn't work on her, not completely. Her worries sprung back to life, demanding attention, focused entirely on the slim margin of possibility, that infinitesimal percent. Reminding herself that regardless of all the math in the world, she didn't actually know when she ovulated and therefore could not be one hundred percent sure that she wasn't pregnant until enough time passed for a test to be taken or her period to start. Time, nothing but time would answer this question.

"You're doing it again." Whispering against her forehead, he let his fingers trace rhythmic circles lightly along her bare shoulder. He could feel her think and the more she thought the more she wiggled and squirmed, small movements, tiny like she was working hard to control them. Her desire to lay there and just be with him wrestled with her anxious need to get up and get moving, to do something, anything.

Sucking in a sharp breath, she let it out slow and measured, then confessed. "I know."

"It's okay, Bones, I get it." Letting out a pitiful groan, Booth sat up, bringing her with him. "But someday, not today, okay, but someday, you and I are going to work on this, okay? I'm going to teach you how to relax." There was skepticism in her eyes, but she agreed before voicing a possible plan.

"Maybe we can go get some breakfast." Standing up, she tugged on his hand in an attempt to get him to come with her. "I don't really have anything here."

"Yeah, that sounds good, I could go for that." He added, smiling as he resisted, reeling her back into his arms where he sat on the edge of her bed, his hands slipping down the back of her legs. "Maybe swing by the pharmacy." She chuckled, sweet and low, as he looked up at her waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"And...the grocery store." She added enthusiastically, backing out of his reach. "We should probably go to the grocery store." She was walking away now, looking back over her shoulder at his admiring look. "We should go by the lab too."

Ignoring her suggestions he followed her towards the bathroom. "Pharmacy," he countered. She ignored him.

"We can get the case files." He came up behind her as she stopped in front of the shower. Pressing his body against the back of hers, he leaned in and whispered as his hands latched onto her hips.

"Pharmacy." His lips moved against the sensitive skin behind her ear as he pressed their bodies together, then released so he could run his hands along the long length of her curves.

"For paperwork...to do the paperwork...for the case."

"Pharmacy." Reaching past her, he turned the water on, crowding her in the most alluring way. "For protection, you know, so we can come back here and I can protect you all weekend long."

"Yes. Pharmacy." She answered, stepping under the hot water and pulling him in with her.

ooooo0ooooo

A/N: I don't know if I'm more excited about this chapter or the fact that I got it done in time to post on schedule this week!

Let me tell you about the great birth control debate that waged in my head. Obviously, there was a lapse in coverage in canon resulting in the beautiful Bones-Booth baby. In this story, it seemed impossible to just ignore that. I mean, that first time, it probably just happened, unplanned, in extreme circumstances, they weren't really thinking about contraceptives. But at some point, as two people in a sexual relationship, they would have to address it. For some reason, it seemed only fitting for Brennan to address it right in the middle of having sex. If nothing else because the thought of it amused me. Maybe I have a bit of a puckish side.

Thank you to my dear friend snowybones who is always there for me as a sounding board and guinea pig, reading and rereading, and tempering all my writer worries.

And a special thanks to MoreBonesPlz for her help with this chapter and the whole birth control/pregnancy worries coming Brennan's way for the next little bit of this story. She was a great help and sounding board as well as source of information.

AND you. Thank you for all your continued support in reading, favoriting, following, and reviewing. Every little one of those things matters to me, especially as the Bones fandom shrinks, it makes a big difference knowing that there are still people reading and enjoying my stores. It keeps me writing.

Love and hugs!

DG