LMFAOOOO can u imagine its been 5 years and im returning to this fic... hello? anyone there? i am happy to warm up my literal atrophied fiction writing muscles and offer this up to the void of the internet whether anyone read it or not it feels good to write again since i haven't written even a crumb of fiction in the past few years. Ik at this point im pretty far removed from TOG and its world and characters also ik the tone of this and my voice if deff a lot different because its been so long and my reading preferences have changed, the things i find hot have changed etc but hopefully 5 years of life experience as well as 5 years of dedicatedly consuming romance and smut pays off anyway heehee 3


Panting Aelin threw off her covers and flopped onto her back. For the past week, she had been plagued with the hottest most torturous dreams of none other than the broody, silver-haired Rowan himself. She didn't know what was worse, the shame of actually accepting his offer the other day when he cornered her or the hot and heavy feeling she woke up with every morning after fitful nights of lurid dreams.

Whispers of pleasure, fleeting feelings of pressure, truncated gasps, growls, sighs, searing seconds of heat. All colors and sensation but never quite what she needed, never enough actual detail to get her there. So here she was panting and heaving after a very needed release. She had dug out her vibrator so long abandoned to the dusty recesses of her closet she was surprised the thing even still worked. Honestly, when you were fighting for your life- no to mention clawing at the chokehold that was grieving someone you loved- who the hell had the time to be so hazardously horny?

Aelin swung her feet off of the bed and with groggy steps padded across her tiny studio to the bathroom. As she peeled off her sleep shirt and underwear to hop into the shower she contemplated the rest of her day, namely the... appointment she had with Rowan. God she had no idea what she was doing. Had she agreed to sleep with him? Had she agreed to sleep with him for money?

She had just been talking shit as she always did when she implied she would rather his "punishment" over his financial help. Okay so considering the fact that she couldn't stop thinking about his huge hands and plush mouth maybe he had been kiiiinda serious when she implied it. But it was just that- an implication.

After he had pointedly asked her what it was she wanted she had pushed away from the wall and out of his orbit so she could take a focusing breath. She had given him a glib laugh to playoff just how much he affected her. Somehow they had come to an agreement to meet again another day to talk about how exactly they could help one another.

Today was that day.

She hadn't ever actually answered him though. As the soap ran down her body she asked herself. What did she want? What did she need? And what would she give for it?


Rowan knew he had been the one to initiate it but the more he thought about it over the last week the more he realized he had no clue what he intended to do with Aelin. The only thing he knew was God he wanted her but... it was sleazy to try to sleep with a woman and completely ignore the fact that she was quite literally about to get thrown to the curb. No matter how ravenous his appetites had become he still had at least a modicum of good sense and morals.

When he had asked his coworker at the firm to run a background check he hadn't been thinking clearly. When he had shown up at her workplace and realized just how seedy that particular part of town was, when he had seen the work-weary drag in her step he had experienced a moment of clarity. She needed a break, not some guy pestering her and leering at her. But then her temper had broken out and he just- he didn't know. She just pushed his buttons. Stoked something in him that had long dissipated to meer embers.

And then to see her pulse tick up under the smooth skin of her throat as he looked down at her, caged he in behind the diner... It had sent him right back to that crazed, hungry headspace.

But no. No tonight he was going to set things straight. He would try to help her. Although something told him she wouldn't necessarily be open to receiving is good will. So perhaps he'd have to get a little cunning. He'd have to make her think it was her idea. Make her think she was doing him a favor.

And truly... she was. It had been a long time since a woman had actually piqued his interest beyond the physical. Rowan had to admit he was extremely intrigued by a person who had the gall to mouth off while literally committing a crime. The juxtaposition of her cockiness and her vulnerability was a fascinating mix.

Yeah, tonight he was just gonna try to get to know her. Hopefully, she let him.

.

Mistward was one of those annoying upscale bars that all the young adults who spent their time pretending to be celebrities or influencers went to take filtered pictures of their cocktails. Rowan hated it but being that it was a gentrifier's haunt it was right on the cusp of the lower-income side of town where Aelin lived.

He sat at the bar and spun the ice in his scotch ignoring the eyes he could feel on him.

"Hey," Aelin slid onto the stool beside him but not before he could enjoy the way her dress seemed to slip over her toned body. She was wearing something just like all the other women in the bar but somehow- he couldn't describe it- but it looked even better on her.

"Hi," turning his body to her he asked, "can I get you a drink?"

He watched the corners of her eyes tighten as she demurred, "I'm okay with water."

Nodding he took a breath to speak when she blurted, "I don't need your money."

His eyes darted to hers.

She blushed, "I do need money. But I don't need yours. I..." taking what seemed like a steadying breath she continued, "I don't want that from you."

He couldn't help but bristle. She said your money like it was derogatory. Perhaps he deserved that.

"I do however want something."

At the change in her tone, he assessed her face once more watching as her eyes began to heat. He couldn't help but smirk, "And what is it that you want?"

"You."

She said it with no hesitation and despite all the peps talks he gave himself about self-control he felt his blood sizzle, "I hate to be the one to tell you thief but you can't always get what you want."

Rolling her eyes she sipped her water before saying, "Oh please Rowan your boner was practically maiming me behind the Glass Palace the other day. Can we both agree to stop being coy?"

At the word "maim" he spluttered inwardly. At the word "boner" said boner seemed to come to attention. As he composed himself he couldn't help but chuckle. Nodding he acquiesced, "Okay Aelin. Fine."

She raised her eyebrows.

The thing with sleeping with Aelin tonight was that once wouldn't be enough. And sleeping with her wouldn't be enough either. It was uncharacteristic but he wanted her in more ways than one. How could he want her for her body and for his own pleasure and entertainment without giving anything himself? He wanted to give her pleasure. But he also wanted to help her. Needed to just as much as he needed to bed her. Not in a weird paternalistic way or a savior complex way. Or... he didn't know. Maybe it was problematic and cavemanlike of him but he didn't want to deny any of it. He was a grown man, he could admit both to himself and to her, "I want you too."

He could tell she was trying to remain nonchalant but he could see her preening at his admittance.

After a pause, she glanced back at him, "Okay. Well... now what."

"Now," he waved for the bill, "I'm going to give you what you want."