A/N: Here's the first chapter for Through It All. I will share this story has a darker feel then the previous two. Will try to update in between Seasons of Change but can make no promises on the frequency.

M rating for adult content and language.

Chapter 1

Madeline Ross turned the Open for Business sign tiredly, readying to lock up for the night. Her afternoon checkout girl had called out sick and the aging woman was eager to put her swollen feet up on her comfortable recliner with a warm cup of tea by her side. The jingling of her door chime stopped her mid stride and she turned to meet a set of chilly green eyes.

"I was in the neighborhood, thought I'd stop by and say hello"

"We're closed"

Her voice strained with animosity and Officer James T. Moletti smiled wryly, continuing unperturbed.

"I'm surprised your boy hasn't shown his face yet…I mean it's the least he could do after all your troubles"

Maddie was a God-fearing woman, described as a kind soul by most, but the man before her truly tested the limits of her kindness and tolerance. Her eyes narrowed in distaste and was enormously relieved when her husband pushed past the stony-hearted man at her door.

"What's the matter Moletti, can't you read? The sign says we're closed"

Lou Ross came to stand by his wife's side, his muscles twitching with tension. Moletti's smile widened mockingly and he chose to leave the older couple with a foreboding warning.

"It's only a matter of time and when the day comes, there won't be a dam thing either of you will be able to do to help him"

"Stay away from Ryan…he's a good boy"

Maddie took a step forward and the officer hesitated in his steps.

"Is that a threat old woman?"

Her husband placed a restraining hand on her shoulder as he pulled his wife behind him.

"No, but this is…I know my rights Moletti. You have no business here and yet here you stand, in my property. Don't test me…all I gotta do is file a formal complaint of harassment and your ass will be shit deep in paperwork. Now you leave that boy alone…you've caused him enough damage"

"Tiiiime is on my side…yes, it is" he sang out. The clicking of his lighter timed with the old Rolling Stone's tune as he exited the popular Organic Food Store in Forks. Lou hugged his wife close, a gesture of comfort and restrain. He hadn't seen the boy in over three years and even though his hurt and anger were great, knew a day had not passed without him crossing through his thoughts. Remembering only made him angrier and the older man released his wife to set the alarm in his home.

"What a waste" he whispered, shaking his head in frustration. It was the same three words his wife had repeatedly heard these last three years. Madeline Ross took her husband by the hand, leading him up the stairs to their home. The constant worrying over Ryan's safety had been hard for her. But she'd had the comfort of writing him and receiving his letters in return. Lou pretended not to care, but the look of relief when any of his letters arrived was hard to miss or the way he pretended not to listen when she read said letters aloud. That was his biggest problem…he cared too damn much and couldn't bring himself to admit it.

Ryan's room stood as the day he'd left their home; every trophy and medal proudly on display. From time to time, nostalgia compelled him into the room. Pictures of their many victories taunting him and forcing him down memory lane. Tonight was such a night…Moletti's visit opening up old wounds which had yet to fully heal. Maddie ambled in, wrapping an arm behind his back and he instinctively pulled her in to his side as they contemplated what once was.

A fucking waste of potential indeed…


Paul smiled as he turned over his glitter enhanced birthday card. LOV U PA. She'd drawn him in his wolf form and herself as a pup next to him. Paul wasn't big on rug rats but if he'd ever been granted the opportunity, would've undoubtedly cloned his little peanut. Solace and Oliver were his; they felt his in every practical sense and by default so did their lot.

That would make her his what? Great something or other

And the thought depressed him greatly.

Fuck, he was old

Every original pack member had a family of his own with the exception of his beautiful late she-wolf. For a short amount of time, she'd been his as well and Paul couldn't help but feel submerged under the weight of missed opportunities.

This is why he hated birthdays…they always left him thinking about what could have been. Paul had only loved two women in his life and neither had chosen him in the end. But in all truth, the statement was only half true. His wolf spirit hadn't chosen them either which had kind of cemented the outcome of their time together.

Maybe it was time for him to retire…

Unlike some of his pack mates, he didn't need to prolong the aging process by continuing to phase. Paul had been a wolf a long time and had grown rather accustomed to the life but was growing very tired.

A quiet knock on the door brought him out of his gloomy thoughts. Why'd' he bother to knock was beyond him but the older wolf still went through the motions of calling him in. Solace walked into the dimmed room, taking a seat across from him and nodded his head in greeting. Paul waited patiently, watching him take stock of his surroundings and pausing with a wide grin as he caught sight of the home made birthday card.

"She made me drive her to the art supply store for the right color of glitter you know?"

"That sounds about right…Girl's got you wrapped around her little finger"

"I could say the same about you" he countered looking towards his refrigerator where several of her drawings were proudly on display. Paul chuckled, raising his brow in question.

"So…to what do I owe this honor?"

"I need a reason to come see you old man?"

Another raised brow and Solace broke out in laughter, knowing he wasn't trailing too far behind in the age department. An unannounced visit wasn't a rarity for him but the aura of anxiety surrounding him was. The man before him was the epitome of Zen but the small creases marring his features told a different tale and Paul tried for a different approach.

"Hawk crashed here a couple of nights ago…"

Solace's features darkened as he looked away, taking a deep breath.

"Giving him the silent treatment isn't going to make this better Solace"

A humorless laugh, as he returned his tired gaze towards the older wolf.

"Nothing I do seems to…"

The desperation in his voice hurt and Paul considered his next words. He wasn't anyone's biological father and even though he loved him and Oliver as such, couldn't truly relate to witnessing a child's downward spiral.

"Maybe a change of scenery would do him some good. Ethan left a broken man and came back a better one, Sol. You should reach out to Tamàs…I'm sure they'd love to have him"

"It's not the same thing…"

"I know, but loss is loss and sometimes placing distance between what ails you helps. It definitely did for me"

Solace diverted his gaze; a flash of emotion passing too swiftly for Paul to interpret.

"He might not agree to go"

"Then don't give him a fucking choice. It's only a matter of time before Cheveyo and Ethan intervene anyhow. He's burning through enough drugs to bring down a horse and his body can only take so much…"

Solace closed his eyes, nodding solemnly. The conversation was not going according to plan but he couldn't deny the amount of anguish it unburdened. Hawk was so deep in his loss; it left no room for his loved ones to share in his pain. But no, he reminded himself, this was not the purpose of his visit.

"You know, you never really talk about your time away from the pack…"

The comment took him by surprise but his answer was instantaneous.

"Not much to say…I traveled…ate… I fucked, and I slept"

Solace narrowed his gaze in disbelief.

"Come on man…you were gone a long time. You can't tell me that's all there was"

Paul answered with a sad smile, his melancholy spilling onto his words.

"I didn't run towards anything special Solace. It's what I left behind which kept me a way"

"Do you regret it…leaving I mean?"

The older wolf shrugged his shoulders in ambivalence, not inclined to elaborate further.

"Truth is time has a way of catching up to you Sol. I've been restless for a while…I think it might be time for me to stop phasing"

His confession startled him and Solace felt a pang of guilt for failing to pick up on his growing unease.

"The pack still needs you Paul"

"No, they really don't. I'm tired of seeing pack brothers come and go. It might be time for me to bow out as well"

"I need you. O does too…" he countered stubbornly.

"And I'm still here…I don't plan on checking out tomorrow Solace. In time, I'll just be a more cantankerous version of my wonderful self" he smiled.

This was definitely not how he'd imagined this conversation would go and Solace wavered with indecision. Paul was undergoing some kind of midlife crisis and sharing Isis's suspicions could send him off the deep end. No, this would need to take place at a later time. The solemn wolf nodded in acceptance, moving the topic towards a neutral subject matter. He walked towards the fridge, pulling out a couple of beers as they focused on the Seahawk's game. They spent the rest of the afternoon reminiscing about old times and hurling insults at the TV screen. Through the years, the man before him had filled a gigantic void in his life. Paul had been more than a shoulder to lean on and as he took a large gulp of his beer, hoped he had the poise to do the same when the time called…


Hawk pulled the small joint out of his cousin's hand, taking a hit.

"I thought you were done smoking man…"

"Don't judge me. I've been under a lot of stress lately"

"Oh yeah, why's that?"

Koli crouched down to a squat, releasing a puff of smoke.

"I think Rave's been putting ideas in Mo's head…she keeps dropping these hints. Subtle, but they're still there"

"Hints about what?" The curious wolf inquired in between a pull of the joint.

"Babies…she keeps talking about clock's ticking and moving our relationship to the next level"

Hawk coughed out a laugh.

"Shouldn't your ass marry her first?"

The topic of marriage was a sore subject in their home. Rumor had come to grips with the uncertainty of his imprinting but Koli still prepared for the unknown. Their home was in her name and even though there wasn't a woman alive who could steal his love from her, it was a subject they navigated around. But things were growing complicated. Rumor was aging and she desired things a normal woman her age did, such as a family of her own.

"Yeah…I'm beginning to get that feeling"

"Well don't fucking tell her that…at least not in that way"

"I know…I'm not as clueless as you think asshole"

Koli snatched the joint back, giving his cousin a measuring look.

"It's nice to see your face around here Hawk…"

"Don't you fucking start too… not you"

Hawk hated seeing that look on his loved ones and wondered if Koli felt the same once upon a time. A look of disappointment in the pack's eyes…

"I'm good man…shit's getting better. Don't worry about me," he threw over his shoulder, heading towards his vehicle.

"I guess I'll see you soon then…Rave looks like she's ready to pop any minute"

Hawk nodded in agreement and Koli released a long sigh. The sour scent of his lie still lingered, and the temperamental wolf wished there was truth in his cousin's words. Hawk pushed down on the accelerator, his Audi's engine purring as it raced down the freeway. Being around his family had a way of messing with him. Their presence helped but it also left him feeling inadequate. Like he wasn't healing quickly enough, which only led to resentment. But guilt and shame were better than the constant numbness plaguing him. And his hopelessness pushed him towards the road of self-affliction. It'd become a vicious cycle…countless sexual encounters for a fleeing moment of ecstasy. Alcohol and drugs to numb out the pain.

Tonight, it would be the pleasure of flesh. A meeting with a potential client in the morning procured that. And he wouldn't even need to venture out far, could probably entice someone near his hotel. Hawk checked in to the company suite, taking a quick shower before venturing out for his prey. The Hotel bar was empty, and the young wolf went in search of the local night life. He scented her before he saw her, a yummy aroma of sugar and spice and like a moth to a flame, the young wolf followed. The bass was deafening, and Hawk stood transfixed as he watched her take the stage. She was hypnotic, and he didn't hesitate to fork over the cash for a private dance.

Makah or Quileute, he couldn't say but her copper skin glowed under the colored lighting and Hawk grabbed at her sides when she ground her hips onto his lap. Turning coyly and shaking a finger in reprimand as she climbed onto the pole.

"What's your name?"

"What do you want it to be handsome?"

Her eyes sparkled in mischief as she inverted down the pole.

"My hotel's not far, I'm staying at the Renaissance"

"I don't fuck clients" she sassed, coming to straddle him on the chair.

"Well that's good because I don't pay for sex" he countered, grabbing at her roughly, and maneuvering her hips over his lap. She felt the bulk through the front of his jeans and her heady scent reached his lupine nose. His eyes roamed down her luscious curves, placing a wicked smile on Hawk's lips.

"Come back to the hotel with me. I'll make it worth your while," he offered again, giving the raven-haired beauty a moment of hesitation.

"I get off in an hour" she whispered, before picking up her discarded top from the floor and exiting the VIP room.

It was a short walk back to the hotel and her chosen attire surprised him. She wore a simple pair of shredded black skinny jeans and a Seahawks' cropped top. If he'd encountered her at any other location, she would've passed for another pretty coed and the thought made him feel narrow-minded. She'd yet to offer up her name, appearing out of her element when they entered the luxurious suite. Hawk ordered room service but abstained from any hard liquor…a rarity for him. He tried to engage her in conversation, but she was of one mind. And he was more than happy to oblige.

Her skin was velvet and she tasted as good as she smelled. Hawk was usually shit- faced drunk by now. The drugs and alcohol typically allowing him the false feeling of euphoria. But as he thrust into her against the wall, he realized he was cold sober and drowning in the rapture of her warm cavern. Her moans spurred him on and he carried her to the extravagant bed, dropping her onto the silk sheets as he hovered over her delectable body. There was a fading scar near her bikini line and he placed a soft kiss at the tip. Her hips undulated off the bed in pleasure and the young wolf smiled as he traveled further south.

The absence of light weakened her inhibitions and Hawk responded to her body's demands. It was as raw as it was intimate; both growing increasingly confused by the strong sexual attraction. A good night's sleep had become a distant memory for him, but Solace's youngest twin slipped into unconsciousness with ease after their couplings and was disappointed when he awoke to an empty bed. Her scent lingered on his skin and he grinned in amusement when he came across the smiley face she penned with shaving cream on the bathroom mirror.

The business meeting had been postponed but the young wolf lingered in the area with a mindset of revisiting the Diamond Lounge in search of his beautiful, nameless siren. Unfortunately for him, she'd been a last-minute fill in and was only able to gather her stage name. A spark of excitement birthed at his newfound challenge and the curious wolf became even more determined to find the identity of the young woman who'd inspired such great desire and interest. That was until he spotted the white Scion parked near his hotel.

A curtain of chestnut colored hair exited the vehicle towards an awaiting man; a large diamond ring on her left finger. And the sight snapped something inside of him. Hawk cared enough for her to allow himself a little happiness on her behalf but couldn't deny the despair the sight provoked. The thought of moving on so casually seemed unfathomable to the young wolf. Life as he'd known it had ceased to exist and for the life of him, couldn't understand how she'd managed it so quickly. Or maybe it was his failure to achieve the same which left him feeling like a gutted fish.

The young wolf turned on his heels; picking up his pace in hopes of placing much distance between himself and the hotel. With no destination in mind, he wandered aimlessly through the crowded streets, watching the random strangers pass by. Hawk was drifting…felt no comfort from the familial bonds which once brought him solace and sought refuge with other broken souls. There was no judgment between them; his flaws and scars as invisible as theirs. The numbness was more addicting than the actual drugs circulating through his system… but it wasn't enough. It would never be enough to make him forget. And there lied his greatest dilemma because he didn't want to forget. It was only in his painful memories where she lived. Her tiny fingers and translucent skin…a torturous short-lived moment when he'd held her in the palms of his hand. A bright spark had lost its flame, much too precious and perfect for the cruelty of this world…


Ryan looked at his second-hand watch as he neared the corner of Maple Avenue and waited. It was 7 on the dot and he tried to remain inconspicuous from his place across the street. He half laughed, half sighed when he saw him make his way out the front door, no doubt towards the Old Boxing Gym. Lou was a creature of habit and Ryan watched him drive away wistfully, wanting nothing more than to cross the street and make his presence known. Fear of rejection stopped him, and he continued to wait, as the dairy and produce delivery man pulled up to the curve. He didn't need to wait much longer as he spotted Maddie opening the door in haste.

"No help this morning?"

"She's running a little late" she shared, and the delivery man smiled in understanding, stacking the crates near her front door to bring them inside. She moved to pick up one of the crates, but a strong set of tanned arms stopped her. Maddie looked up in surprise and found herself staring into a familiar set of brown eyes. She gasped in shock, placing a hand over her chest as Ryan smiled and greeted her with a soft peck on her cheek. Wasting no time in picking up the crates three at a time. Maddie staggered in behind him and if it wasn't for the delivery man catching her, would've stumbled flat on her face when she tripped over her doormat. The elderly woman was still gawking in shock… gone was the trim seventeen-year-old boy she'd known. The man before her was a head taller and about fifty pounds of muscle heavier.

Ryan signed for the invoice and placed it neatly on the register counter, turning to face the woman who'd saved him from himself after his world had fallen apart. Maddie's tears began to fall, and she lunged forward, wrapping her plump arms half way across his waist. Ryan leaned into her embrace, feeling a tightening in his throat as he held her close.

"When are you going to stop letting people take advantage of you? Where's your checkout girl?"

"Oh, she's just running a little behind this morning. She's a good girl Ryan…you're going to like her"

"Uh-huh"

He raised his brow in amusement, glad to see some things hadn't changed and sighed contently as he took stock of the familiar store. Maddie's eyes glistened in happiness and made a grab for his arm when he started stocking the milk and eggs.

"Ryan, stop. I haven't seen you in over three years… all that stuff can wait. Why didn't you call me? I would've picked you up… and where are you staying?"

The gentle woman dragged him towards the back of the store, where a couple of coffee tables and chairs were cozily arranged.

"I'm at a half-way house on the reservation, checked in a couple of days ago"

Maddie's eyes widened in distress and Ryan steadied himself for what he knew would follow.

"Why? You have a home Ryan…here, with us"

"Maddie…"

"You'd rather stay with a bunch of strangers than with us?"

The hurt in her voice was clear and Ryan placed his hand over hers, hoping to ease her distress.

"You've done so much for me already. It's time I start doing things for myself Maddie. I can't keep leaning on you and I don't think Lou would be cool with that anyways"

Maddie waved his words away, shaking her head in disagreement.

"Lou loves you. He's just too stubborn and proud for his own good. He needs a little time Ryan. What are you going to do for work?"

"They've arranged for me to work as a janitor at the elementary school. I start next week"

Maddie rolled her eyes and Ryan stopped her from speaking, certain of the words which would follow next.

"No... I'm not going to let you pay me for things I would gladly do for free"

She huffed back into her seat, crossing her arms in front of her chest in frustration.

"What about food? Am I allowed to invite you for the occasional meal at least?"

Ryan smiled, recognizing the stubbornness in her voice and answered with a small nod.

"As long as Lou knows I'll be coming over, I'd love to. No funny business though…"

Ryan hung around for another hour, helping the elderly woman prepare before the rush of Saturday morning clients made their appearance. He was enveloping her in a sweet embrace as he bid his goodbye when the jingling of the door distracted them both. And a young woman hurried in. She jumped in alarm, pushing the curls away from her face anxiously. Maddie hurried forward, pulling the young woman in for the introductions.

"Maya, this is my Ryan. He almost gave me a heart attack this morning by showing up unannounced"

Ryan extended his hand in greeting and the pretty teen appeared lost for words, clearing her throat before reaching for his hand.

"You look different than in the pictures upstairs"

"I've been working out more" he admitted shyly, and the young woman's eyes narrowed suspiciously, following him out the door with her gaze. Ryan promised to check in with Maddie the following day and made his way towards the bank. Lou had made him open a savings account after helping him secure his first job at the age of fourteen. Forcing him to deposit almost half of his paychecks. It wasn't a fortune, but with the interest accrued, Ryan had enough to purchase himself a cell phone, clothing, and enough to live off until he began earning money of his own. He cut through a condemned property quickening his pace, as the steady drizzle soaked through his clothing.

A soft whimpering underneath the porch caught his attention and Ryan crouched down to investigate, growing horrified at what he found. A tiny pup shivered against its mother's dead corpse, its muzzle covered in her blood. Ryan straightened up, knowing he was cutting it close for his curfew time. The smart thing would be to walk away; call the local humane society and leave it to chance. But the splintered parts of him which remembered the feeling of being left alone in the world wouldn't allow him. He squatted down, and hauled the little fur ball out, noticing the various bite marks on its mother's corpse. She fought hard to keep the pup safe and must've dragged them both under the porch for protection.

He removed a bottle of water from his backpack, proceeding to clean the blood of its snout. It had the look of a Husky and Ryan fed it a small portion of his left-over meal; not the healthiest of choices but it would do.

"Don't look at me like that. I'm turning you over to the animal shelter first chance I get"

Ryan forwent public transportation and stuffed him inside his bag, carrying it like a kangaroo pouch. Fortunately for him, the house monitor was too busy making small talk with the staff housekeeper to notice and he managed to slip past to the safety of his room.

"Don't shit on the floor or I'm tossing you out fur ball"

The pup whined pitifully, curling up on the cold floor. Ryan rolled his eyes, picking him up and bringing him onto the bed with him. He turned onto his side, covering him from prying eyes and as he drifted off to sleep, thought it morbidly amusing his tiny roommate was a creature abandoned in the same way he'd once been.


Sebastian pounded on the door, glad for the seclusion of his surroundings. He didn't have the patience for this shit and if it wasn't for Kris, would've already kicked the door in. Kris sighed in frustration and produced his wife's key for the irritated wolf. The stench of sex and alcohol was thick, and Sebastian kicked the empty bottles of Alizè away from his feet as he made his way towards the master bedroom. Kris did a quick scope of the flat, immediately sequestering the various illegal substances laying casually about and disposed of them in the custom-made bathroom.

Hawk peeled one eye open with a lazy grin, removing the naked thigh covering his hip. The sleeping red head turned towards their other bedmate, sighing sleepily onto her back. Sebastian picked up the discarded pieces of clothing from the floor and threw them on the bed; bestowing a look of disgust upon his pack brother.

"Playtime is over…both of you need to go NOW"

The sultry brunette raised herself and crawled towards the edge provocatively.

"You sure about that …there's enough room for one more?"

Hawk pulled himself off the bed, stumbling towards his bathroom in haste and emptying the remains of the night's debauchery. Kris diverted his gaze as the naked beauties rose in vexation, carrying their stilettos and clothing as they made their way out the room. Sebastian turned the shower head on and pushed the hung-over wolf in, watching him gasp in shock as the freezing water hit his bare back. The steam from his overheated skin gave the illusion of a sauna and the inebriated wolf remained in place, welcoming the soothing flow of water.

Kris located a duffel bag on his closet shelf and quietly began packing several changes of clothes. The disoriented wolf shuffled in, taking a seat on his bed and welcoming the bottle of water ushered his way.

"We've been calling you for two days asshole. You were scheduled for patrols this morning, but I guess you don't give a fuck about any of that huh? Lahote covered for your ass AGAIN but that's not why we're here. Care to guess?"

Hawk didn't respond, and Sebastian continued coolly.

"Your sister had the baby and she's wondering why her older brother hasn't bothered to stop by. We decided to spare your mother and frankly my wife, the horror of coming to find you."

Hawk met his brother in law's gaze; shame and regret clear on his features.

"How is she?"

"Everyone's good…we had a boy. Named him William, after your great grandfather"

"Congratulations man. I know how badly you've wanted this child"

Kris nodded solemnly, and Hawk pulled on a faded pair of jeans before making his way towards his closet for a shirt.

"You shouldn't be here Kris…you should be with her"

"So should you…everyone is expecting you at your parent's house. We volunteered to come get you"

Hawk nodded silently, making a grab for his car keys but Sebastian cut him short.

"I don't fucking think so Hawk" was the last thing he said to him before snatching the keys and making his way towards the door. The ride back to his parent's home was uncomfortably long and Hawk got the feeling there was something else both wolves weren't saying. Vehicles lined up the driveway and Ethan's FJ confirmed his suspicions. His mother sat at his father's side and as he stepped into their open living room, realized only a select few members of his family stood present. Sebastian and Kris stood at the door and Hawk took stock of his surroundings.

"Where's Hote?"

"Covering your patrols," answered the Alpha angrily.

It didn't escape him that neither his siblings nor Keyla stood present. In fact,

Koli was the closest to him in age and the sick look on his face told him shit was about to go down. His mother's bottom lip trembled as silent tears streamed down her beautiful face and the sight hurt him deeply.

"What is this?"

"Something we should've done months ago Hawk"

Ethan's kind eyes didn't meet his eyes as he released a long sigh.

"Tamàs has been having some trouble abroad, so we've decided to send you to help. Caleb and Tokola will be coming along with you"

Hawk laughed humorlessly, anger and hurt clear in his voice as he directed his gaze towards his father.

"Was this your idea? What's the matter? Tired of seeing what a fuck up I've become?"

He looked around the room at his family, struggling with the feeling of betrayal and rejection. Isis was on her feet and next to him in seconds, desperation on her face as she tried to make him understand.

"Baby, this isn't about sending you away…Don't you think if we knew what to do…how to help you Hawk"

Her words were choking on her sobs and Solace stood to comfort his wife as Jacob walked to stand in front of his grandson; sadness and heaviness weighing on him.

"You think this was an easy decision for us Hawk? Everyone in this room feels sick about this but our fear of seeing you go deeper down this path is far greater than our need to have you near. You won't let us in son and we're out of ideas on how to help you"

"You want to help me? Then stop pressuring me to feel better. I didn't break my fucking arm…I can't just put on a cast to make it heal"

Solace stepped forward, a look of determination clear on his face.

"We lost her too Hawk, but you won't even acknowledge it or allow us to share it with you. You've completely shut us out and I'll be damned if I'm going to sit by and do nothing while you slowly kill yourself"

Hawk had a mind to send them all to hell but the look of devastation on his mother's features solidified his resolve and nodded tiredly in defeat. Shye had dropped by with Akeimi unannounced and even though she was furious at them for keeping this from her husband, understood the reasoning behind it. Lahote was in complete denial about Hawk's instability and knew without a doubt he'd fight everyone in his family before seeing him shipped off. She agreed to remain silent until his departure and was waiting patiently in the twins' old room to allow her brother in law the opportunity to bid his goodbyes to her inconsolable daughter.

"Hey peanut"

The sobbing girl rushed into his arms and the young wolf felt the rest of his shattered heart piece off.

"Oh honey, please don't cry…it's only for a little while. Tamàs needs my help peanut"

"But I need your help too. Who's going to wead me our story? And you promised you would help me climb higher uncle Hawk"

"I know I did baby, but I have to be a brave wolf now and I need you to be brave for me too ok? I want to hear about everything you're doing, so you need to practice your letters and write me as much as you can. Can you do that for me Keimi?"

Akeimi nodded against his chest, leaving a trace of her tears on his shirt as she ran to bury her face on her father's old bed. Shye embraced him fiercely, bestowing him with words of love and support and the young wolf returned the sentiment. Isis was beyond consolation, but Hawk was barely keeping it together and couldn't look at his family as he exited his childhood home, making a beeline for Ethan's FJ. The conversation to the airport was one sided as Ethan tried to bestow words of advice but Hawk's thoughts were elsewhere.

Where had he gone wrong?

He'd been the model son, the straight A student, the youngest partner in his architecture firm and for what? It had all amounted to nothing…

Hawk tried not to give into his despair and for a moment considered jumping out of the moving vehicle but was stopped by the sight of the dream catcher sitting on top of his bag. Akeimi had gone through a bout of night terrors two years back and Hawk had made her an intricate dream catcher to ease her anxiety. Shye's penmanship stood out and the young wolf inspected the small note.

To help keep the bad dreams away. Hope to see you in my good dreams Uncle Hawk

He'd never been this far away from home and had never parted from his twin for any long period of time. The prospect frightened him but understood he couldn't continue in this manner. People depended on him and if not for himself then for them he told himself as he met Ethan's intense gaze through the rare view mirror. Hawk leaned back onto his seat, committing the familiar scents to memory as he prepared to step into the unknown…

Playlist

Go Slower- Radiohead

American Money-B0RNS

Everything Sank in You- Highasakite