A/N Do y'all like it when I switch between Regina and Robin's POV during chapters, or do you like it to just be from one of their perspectives per chapter, or would you like me to just keep it Regina's? Comment your thoughts. If any of you watch Gilmore Girls, Robin has a little Luke Danes moment in this chapter. Another long one, sorry friends.
Chapter 9
Contrary to what one might expect, the homecoming dance in Storybrook was always followed by perfectly sober and responsible afterparties. Unfortunately, having stereotypical, crazy afterparties after a school dance was just too obvious and predictable to do in Storybrook. The extremely bored Storybrook Sheriff's Department always expected homecoming to be the most wild night of the year, and, consequently, spent the entire night patrolling the streets to shut down any parties that were daring enough to arise. Therefore, it was the tradition of any teenager with a brain and vested interest in their future to remain sober and well behaved on homecoming night. The afterparty was always hosted by Granny at her diner, for any students of Storybrook High that wished to attend.
This was how Regina, Robin, Mary Margaret, David, Emma, Killian, and Gold spent their evening, along with the majority of their grade. And, in spite of the lack of alcohol and the presence of an adult (Granny), this was the most fun night Regina could remember having in years. Just socializing with their grade, being with her friends, enjoying Granny's sinfully good food, and being free of any romantic inhibitions… Regina was feeling good. She'd had absolutely no idea how freeing it would be to admit her feelings to Robin. She was fascinated by the fact that she could now look over at him and smile affectionately whenever she wished, or that when he secretly placed his hand on her thigh under the table, she could let him. Of course, they had decided not to tell anyone right away.
Regina and Robin, following their heated classroom love profession/make out, had returned to the dance, and flawlessly acted as though nothing had happened between them. And unless any of their friends had caught onto their lingering glances, and slightly excessive, unnecessary touching, they were none the wiser.
The group had mutually decided that each couple should leave the dance whenever they felt so inclined, rather than leaving all together. They would just meet up at Granny's afterwards. Regina and Robin had been the first to leave the dance, however, as they were particularly eager to be away from the watchful eye of their friends for a few minutes.
Conversation was flowing naturally between them as they made their way down the dimly lit streets of Storybrook, towards Granny's diner. They were wonderfully alone, which Robin decided to take advantage of as they approached the restaurant. Finally summoning his courage, though he knew he was now permitted to do so, he gently entwined his fingers through Regina's. Regina's heart practically leapt into her throat, from a bizarre mixture of shock and pleasure. Her first instinct was to quickly take her hand away, in case anyone was looking their way. And then she remembered that they were alone. And Robin was now her… what was he? Her boyfriend? That seemed an odd way to put it for some reason.
"Am I not allowed to hold your hand?" Robin asked, bemused, clearly noticing her conflicted reaction. Regina couldn't help laughing at her own awkwardness, and shook her head. She stopped walking, and Robin followed suit.
"No, no, of course you are, I was just… surprised," Regina responded, still chuckling a little. Robin arched an eyebrow.
"It didn't seem too much too soon, seeing as what we spent the last hour doing in that classroom," he replied wittily, smirking at her. Regina grinned.
"Goes to show that you should never make assumptions, because I draw the line at hand holding," she joked, biting her lip. Robin's already very present smile widened.
"I'm sorry to hear that."
"I just… I'm worried about how we should break this news to our friends, I guess," Regina finally said, sighing. Robin nodded slowly.
"I see. Do you want to keep it a secret?" he asked genuinely. Regina could tell that he didn't feel particularly inclined towards that option, but could also tell that if it was what she wished, he would do it without argument. But it was not what she wished.
"No, I don't want to hide this. I just… maybe for the night?" Regina responded gently, looking up into his eyes for approval. He smiled warmly at her, granting it.
"I agree. We can… discuss this, and all its complications and implications later, but right now, I would just really like to kiss you," Robin murmured, as he lightly pressed his lips against hers. Regina's heart rate about tripled.
After a few very enjoyable moments, Robin pulled away to look at her again. Regina noticed that suddenly he looked conflicted.
"Regina, obviously, I don't know yet what you find clingy, or annoying, or how often you want to see me, or-"
"Just spit it out, Robin," Regina interrupted him, laughing at his obvious nervousness. It made her want to smile uncontrollably thinking about the fact that he was just as nervous around her as she was around him.
Robin smiled, in spite of himself.
"I was just wondering if I could see you in the morning tomorrow? Maybe breakfast?" he asked easily, seeming to have gotten himself under control. Regina couldn't think of anything she would rather spend her morning doing.
"Breakfast tomorrow sounds lovely. Actually, my mother and Zelena will be gone all day tomorrow, so you can come by whenever," Regina responded. Remembering that Cora and Zelena would be gone the whole day just amplified Regina's already good mood.
"I'll pick you up in the morning."
It was this breakfast agreement with Robin, Regina recalled, that was responsible for him ringing her doorbell at 10:00 this morning. They had never specified a time, and Robin clearly seemed to have decided that 10 was the time he preferred.
Regina hated herself for not planning on waking up earlier, because she could not have looked less attractive at the moment. She was wearing a slightly skimpy black camisole (she couldn't imagine the kind of comments Cora would make about her figure if she ever saw it), and her most unflattering pair of grey sweatpants. They were her father's when he was in college; they were huge around her waist, so she had to roll them, and they were completely baggy around her legs until they bagged all around her ankles. They were hideous, but he'd given them to her years ago and she wore them almost every night. Not to mention the fact that she'd slept with her hair unceremoniously piled on top of her head, and, as a result, it was now incredibly wavy. And she wasn't wearing a stitch of makeup. So, yes, thank God, Robin was going to see her looking like this not even twenty four hours after he had agreed to date her. Perfect.
Regina quickly made her way down the stairs, crossing her arms over her chest insecurely, and approached her front door.
"Alright, you didn't give me any warning that you were coming, so don't you dare laugh," Regina called out to Robin, knowing that he could hear her through the front door. She distinctly heard him chuckle.
"I apologize for the lack of notice, and I promise I won't laugh. Now can you open the door? It's freezing out here," Robin called back calmly. Regina's heart skipped a beat. In the 12 hours she'd been away from him, she'd already forgotten how just the sound of his voice made her feel.
She pulled open the door, trying not to look too anxious. And, naturally, there stood Robin, holding out a cup of coffee for her, looking too handsome to be real. He was dressed in his usual dark wash jeans, and dark grey vans, which he'd paired this with a forest green, thick long sleeved t-shirt, his dark grey leather jacket, and an unassuming light grey scarf. His dark blonde hair was tousled and windblown, and his royal blue eyes were bright. Regina was pretty sure she couldn't have paled more in comparison if she tried.
Robin, however, seemed to disagree, if the look in his eye when he saw her reflected his thoughts accurately at all. He grinned widely at her almost immediately, and Regina felt herself blush.
"Well, I know how you feel about your morning cup of coffee, so I didn't think I should dare show up unannounced without some sort of peace offering," Robin joked, easily pressing the cup into her hand. Regina smiled appreciatively.
"Smart man. Thank you," she replied warmly, staring into his eyes. Looking into his eyes was a mistake, it was always a mistake. Oh, God, she should not want him so badly already… Especially not when she looked so utterly undesirable (she hadn't even brushed her teeth, for God's sake…).
She quickly averted her gaze, and took a sip of her coffee to defuse the slightly awkward silence that she'd created. But she noticed that Robin was still looking at her.
"Having second thoughts, thief?" Regina couldn't resist quipping, arching an eyebrow challengingly. She was mostly joking, of course. Mostly.
Robin responded with a similar eyebrow raise, and a soft smile, as he shook his head quickly.
"On the contrary. I rather enjoy seeing you like this," he answered gently. Regina's blush deepened.
"Like what?"
"Like not all perfectly put together and polished," Robin mused, still smiling. Regina involuntarily gave a laugh of derision.
"When am I ever perfectly put together and polished?" she scoffed. Robin rolled his eyes.
"Always. And besides, the sweatpants quite become you, in my opinion," Robin joked, smirking. Regina rolled her eyes right back at him.
"Yes, thank you, I thought so too."
"You're much prettier than you think you are, Your Majesty."
"That's a pretty good line, thief."
"I agree. But it's also the truth," Robin said, grinning widely at her. Regina rolled her eyes again, but stepped slightly to the side, indicating that he should come inside. He stepped through the door quickly, and she shut it behind them.
Regina crossed her arms again as he faced her. This only made him smile at her more, much to her confusion. He took a step closer to her, and her heart sped.
"What are you grinning at?" Regina heard herself ask coyly, her voice an octave higher than she would normally permit. Robin chuckled, taking another step closer so that he was now right in front of her. His hands lightly reached out to touch her hips, and Regina swore a heart attack was right around the corner, waiting to claim her if he got any closer.
"Nothing," he replied easily. The prominent, flirtatious smirk on his face, however, suggested otherwise. Regina flushed deeper.
"Well, as much as I know you're enjoying my outfit, I'm going to go and make myself all put together and polished," she said sarcastically, shooting him a sly smile. Robin smirked, and obligingly released her. Regina then scampered up the stairs to go and make herself presentable.
She tried to dress as quickly as she could, and, in doing so, was not wearing as much makeup as she would have preferred, nor was her hair as tamed as she would like. She had outfitted herself in her black skinny jeans, a casual black sweater, her dark grey, suede short boots, and her short, dark grey peacoat. Her dark hair was free, and fully wavy. She lightly spritzed herself with her normal perfume, and deemed herself presentable enough to leave the house.
She hastily returned down the staircase, to where Robin was waiting for her. He hardly appeared to have moved since she'd left.
"That was quick," Robin commented abstractly, as though complimenting her. Regina shot him a quick smile, as she moved towards the closet just by the door where the Mills women stored their winter accessories. The weather in Storybrook was peculiarly cold for this time of year. It was only October, yet the temperature was already just above freezing, and brutally windy as well. Regina rummaged around until she found her black leather gloves, and she quickly slid her hands into them. She then grabbed the cup of coffee that Robin had brought her from the table by the door.
"Ready?" Regina asked, looking over her shoulder at Robin, and gesturing to open the front door. Robin nodded, and approached to join her.
"Almost," he replied easily. And before Regina could question what exactly he was waiting for, he took her face into one of his hands, gently trapping her up against the front door, and lightly pressed his lips to hers.
It wasn't a particularly long, or passionate kiss. Rather, it was gentle, and… natural. And still plenty to leave Regina feeling faint. All she could manage once he pulled away was what she was sure was a very dreamy and entranced smile back up at him.
"Shall we?" Robin asked, reaching around her to pull open the front door for her, as though he didn't have her almost completely bewitched. She momentarily hated him for rendering her so temporarily useless.
Regina assumed that Robin was intending them to discuss all the heavy subject matter of their new relationship over breakfast, as the walk to Granny's mostly just consisted of a combination of pleasant small talk and their usual playful banter.
As they approached Granny's, Regina took a moment to pray that they would not encounter any of their friends, as she hadn't had the time to concoct a proper excuse as to what exactly she and Robin were doing at Granny's alone for breakfast, without extending an invitation to the rest of the group. A chemistry assignment, perhaps? Sadly, that vague of an excuse would only potentially be successful on Emma or Killian, as they were the only two of their friends that were almost completely oblivious to Robin and Regina's budding relationship. Gold had seen them entering a bedroom at Killian's party together, and Mary Margaret had pretty much inferred all the details herself, which she had then conferred to David. Hopefully, she and Robin will have fabricated a solid way to inform their friends of their new relationship by the end of breakfast.
Rather than the group's usual, spacious booth in the corner, Regina and Robin settled for a considerably smaller, cozier booth on the opposite side of Granny's.
Unsettled by how nervous she suddenly was, and unsure of how to restart conversation, Regina nonchalantly began unbuttoning her coat so that it could casually hang open.
"So… Lots to discuss," Robin trailed off uncertainly, staring across the table at her. Regina nodded slowly in agreement, still quite unsure how to respond or how to act.
"Good thing we both clearly are so talkative and full of ideas," she heard herself reply ironically, half smiling. Robin grinned.
"Yes, good thing. Alright, fair enough, though, perhaps we should start with something easier than how to break the news to our friends?" Robin responded easily. This peaked Regina's curiosity.
"Such as?"
"Well, I broached the subject last night on the way to the afterparty. What sort of things do you find clingy, and or annoying?" Robin questioned lightheartedly. Regina knew that he was perceiving her very poorly hidden discomfort, and was attempting to help diffuse it. The increasingly infatuated part of her swooned at the fact that he already knew her so well. The normal and sane part of her laughed.
"Well, for starters, I find that I'm not particularly keen on dating boys addicted to drugs. Is that going to be an issue?" Regina dryly alluded to Daniel in response. Robin raised his eyebrows, seemingly a bit surprised that she was joking about Daniel, but chuckled briefly, nonetheless.
"I'll make sure to sell off all of my contraband within the next 24 hours," he replied casually. Regina rolled her eyes, but conceded a small smile.
"Surely, though, there are more ways that I can aggravate you, other than by doing drugs?" Robin quipped, arching an eyebrow. Though of course she knew this to be true, she secretly couldn't imagine Robin ever being too clingy or annoying. She couldn't imagine ever not wanting him around. How sappy and embarrassing…
"Yes, I'm sure of that too… Well, for starters, I generally prefer to keep my private life… private," Regina explained hesitantly. Daniel had always hated this about her, and she prayed that Robin didn't feel the same way. He nodded slowly, trying to comprehend what she meant.
"That sounds reasonable. How so?"
"Obviously, we'll tell our friends and families. And if people ask, we won't lie, but I don't want to go around broadcasting it all over town," Regina elaborated, hoping that he didn't disagree. Robin nodded again.
"Well, thank goodness I left my megaphone at home, then," he responded sarcastically. Regina rolled her eyes, but grinned. She always appreciated someone whose sarcasm was on par with hers.
"And I would prefer if we didn't engage in… you know, intense public displays of affection," Regina continued gingerly, worried he would take her desire for privacy in the wrong way. Daniel always had. He'd always irrationally taken her desire to just be discreet as being embarrassed to be seen with him. Robin raised his eyebrows.
"I think I'm fine with that as well, but what exactly do you consider an unwelcome public display of affection?"
"For example, I am not Mary Margaret, and I do not particularly enjoy being passionately kissed and embraced in front of others," Regina replied, shaking her head and rolling her eyes as she thought about the huge fans of PDA that Snow and David were.
"So, just to make sure I understand properly, if I want to say hello and express my excitement at seeing you, I should not throw you against the nearest and wall and undress you right then and there?"
"Yes, that is the general idea," Regina confirmed, bemused. Robin smirked.
"How disappointing."
"Crippling disappointment aside, do you think you'll be able to handle those pesky few guidelines?" Regina chided lightly. Robin laughed, and his smirk widened to a full smile.
"I'm sure I can manage," he answered easily. "But, all kidding aside, I do actually completely agree about being discreet, I've never much been much of a PDA person myself. Marian always was, and it drove me crazy."
"Daniel was the same way, that's why I felt like I should address it with you," Regina responded, breathing out a sigh of relief at his understanding. Of course, she probably should have just assumed that Robin would understand her at this point. He always seemed to, especially when she least expected it.
"So, is there anything in particular that I should avoid doing? You know, so that you don't find me annoying and clingy?" Regina asked him in return, raising an eyebrow playfully. Robin chuckled.
"Well-"
"Regina, Robin, hey!"
Regina suddenly heard the enthusiastic, boisterous voice of Emma Swan calling out to them from across the diner. Regina and Robin immediately exchanged glances of panic, and wordlessly tried to concoct an excuse for what they were doing at Granny's alone together.
"Emma, hey!" Regina heard herself get out in a painfully strained tone of returned enthusiasm. And then, to make matters all the better, Regina watched as Killian and Gold filed into the diner behind Emma. Oh, excellent.
"Wow, you guys got here fast. I thought for sure that Killian, Gold, and I would be first," Emma said conversationally, as she approached to stand at the head of Regina and Robin's table. At her words, Regina and Robin shared another glance, but this time of utter bewilderment, rather than panic. What exactly did Emma think they were doing here?
Clearly Emma picked up on their confusion.
"You know… Since I just texted in the group text twenty minutes ago, asking if everyone wanted to go to breakfast…? I assume that's why the two of you are here…?" Emma trailed off uncertainly, seemingly confused as to why Regina and Robin looked so baffled by her words.
"Right, of course!" Regina replied way too quickly, almost in shock at she and Robin's incredibly good luck.
"That's us, the speediest in all of Storybrook," Robin babbled uncomfortably. Regina shot him an underhanded glance of irritation. Emma looked confused by their odd behavior, but amused anyways.
"You two are psychos."
"Psycho for picking this booth, it's so small. Can we switch to our normal one?" Killian asked, joining the conversation for the first time. Gold nodded in agreement.
"Oh, yeah, of course, I'm not sure what we were thinking," Regina responded passively, not wanting to start any kind of serious inquiry into why she and Robin picked their considerably smaller booth.
Fortunately, they didn't seem to think much more on the subject as they made their way across the diner to their normal booth. The five of them poured into their new seats. Regina couldn't help noticing that she was now rather pleasantly pressed against Robin.
"Where are Mary Margaret and David?" Robin asked as they sat down. Regina appreciated him for starting a new topic of conversation.
"They're outside. David insisted that they help some old woman with her groceries," Gold responded, rolling his eyes and shaking his head as though this was the most obnoxious thing he had ever heard. Regina gave a snort of derision.
"Yeah, you're right, Gold. Fuck David for helping some old lady with her groceries," Regina couldn't resist quipping at him. Everyone cracked up, just as David and Mary Margaret bustled through the diner door.
"What are you weirdos laughing at?" Mary Margaret asked cheerfully, as she and David approached their table.
"You," Killian said simply. David and Mary Margaret looked at each other in bewilderment, confused as to what they possibly could have done to already inspire such mockery.
"Nothing, don't worry about it," Emma corrected Killian quickly, nudging his shoulder playfully.
"Congrats on snagging the good booth, we were worried about the breakfast rush," David said easily, as he and Mary Margaret slid onto the end of the booth.
"No thanks to Regina and Robin. They got here early, and picked that tiny ass one over there," Emma snarked, grinning affectionately at Regina and Robin. Regina tensed at her words, as she knew that Mary Margaret might decipher their hidden meaning.
"Imagine our embarrassment," Regina tried to deflect calmly, but she could feel Mary Margaret looking back and forth between the tiny booth across the diner, and Regina and Robin suspiciously.
"In under 20 minutes? That's impressive," Snow said underhandedly, shooting Regina a rather pointed look. Regina felt the familiar heat of discomfort rise to her cheeks.
"We're impressive people, Regina and I," Regina heard Robin reply casually.
"That's debatable," Gold snarked from across the table. Regina was too distracted by Mary Margaret's skeptical stare to retort to Gold.
"Regina, will you come help David and I get coffee for the table?" Snow asked Regina suddenly, giving Regina a look signifying that it really wasn't an optional request. Regina nodded, dejected. Robin seemed to sense what was about to happen, and gave her leg a quick, undetectable squeeze of encouragement. Oddly, it did sort of make her feel better. After all, the sooner they told their friends, the sooner she and Robin's relationship could really become… real.
"Our heroes," Killian said mockingly, in a sing-song tone of voice.
"Thanks, guys," Emma called out after them, as the three of them made their way over to Granny's counter to order.
Regina purposely didn't say a word, and made a point of staring all around the cafe to avoid eye contact with either Snow or David.
"So, how was you and Robin's night?" Mary Margaret started out innocently. Regina wished she would just cut to the chase, quite frankly. They both knew where this conversation was going.
"Spectacular."
"Wow, that's an awfully big adjective. What was so spectacular about it?" Snow questioned sweetly. Regina distinctly saw David stifle a chuckle from behind her. She momentarily despised them both for being so condescending.
"It was simply magical. What about you two, how was your evening?" Regina deflected easily.
"Oh, just wonderful. But, you know, oddly enough, and I'm sure you can explain this to me, I distinctly recall a portion of the evening where you and Robin just… disappeared. Isn't that peculiar?" Snow asked, struggling to keep her tone non-accusatory and light. Regina fought the urge to roll her eyes. Peculiar, indeed.
"Quite. I can't imagine where we would have been. What portion of the evening do you recall us being missing?" Regina responded, as though she didn't know exactly which portion of the evening that Snow was referring to.
"A distinct hour of the dance, where David and I saw you and Robin dancing one second, rather raunchily, might I add, and then when we looked over again, the two of you had just disappeared into thin air!"
"I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about. I can't imagine I was doing anything other than foxtrotting my way across club… Storybrook," Regina replied sarcastically, refusing to give Snow the satisfaction. Mary Margaret seemed to have finally grown frustrated with this naive, passive aggressive exchange and sighed heavily.
"Regina."
"What?"
"The truth," Snow commanded, arching an eyebrow. Regina rolled her eyes, and shrugged uncomfortably, a plausible excuse completely escaping her.
"I don't know where we were, alright? I just… don't."
"Because why?"
"Because… Because I didn't make a scrapbook of every magical moment of my night!"
"Mmhm, of course not. So there's no chance that you and Robin were, oh, I don't know… spending some quality alone time with one another in that hour?" Snow finally came right out and accused her. Regina felt the blush rise back into her cheeks.
"No, absolutely not," she muttered uncomfortably, knowing full well that she was caught.
"Regina, how much longer are you going to force us to drag out this conversation?" David finally interjected, seemingly very amused. Regina shot him an aggravated glare.
"It's not my fault that I have nothing to report!" Regina retorted, even though she knew her protests were completely futile at this point.
"Regina, I can see it in you," Mary Margaret said softly. Regina arched an eyebrow, curious, in spite of herself.
"See what?"
"You look… freer, and lighter, and… happier," Snow said simply, as though it were obvious. Regina rolled her eyes.
"As opposed to what? What do I normally look like, Snow?"
"You can be a little… scary," David commented thoughtlessly. Regina glared at him with a look of such ferocity that Mary Margaret clearly felt the need to intervene before David was incinerated by the force of her gaze alone.
"What he means is that you don't always look completely carefree and ecstatic, that's all," she interjected quickly, raising her hand to David's mouth so that he couldn't dig himself into a deeper hole. David gave a quick nod of agreement.
"What is it that you two so desperately want to hear?" Regina finally asked, sighing. Snow and David grinned at one another, sensing victory, and then back at her.
"How did it happen?" Snow gushed excitedly, grabbing Regina's hands.
"How did what happen?"
"Oh, come on, Regina. He isn't doing much to hide it, with the way he's looking at you. Clearly, you made it official within the last 12 hours," David interrupted, rolling his eyes. And she was officially caught. Though, she couldn't deny that her heart skipped a beat at the notion that Robin was looking at her in a certain way.
Regina groaned.
"At the dance last night. We left the gym for a few… minutes, to… talk, and we made it official. And those are the only details that the two of you are getting!" Regina finally snapped. But it secretly felt rather relieving to finally be honest.
Mary Margaret squealed and David grinned. What romantic saps, Regina couldn't help musing.
"Oh, Regina, I am so incredibly happy for the both of you, that's wonderful! Everyone is going to be so excited, I'm sure!" Mary Margaret beamed.
"Yes, yes, thank you, but you two need to keep your mouths shut until Robin and I think the time is right to tell everyone," Regina said hastily, in a hushed tone of voice. Snow and David looked at each other with overdramatized concern. Regina sighed heavily and glared at both of them.
"What?"
"You're going to tell everyone at breakfast, right? We aren't going to have to continue keeping this a secret?" David asked concernedly. Regina rolled her eyes. How selfish of them. Of course their primary concern would be for their own comfort, rather than the future of Regina and Robin's new relationship.
"Not that Robin and I have to tell anyone anything, but, yes, we were actually meeting for breakfast this morning to discuss how to break the news to everyone," Regina responded, sighing again.
"You know, we'd be happy to give you a segue, if you think that would help?" Snow suggested thoughtfully. Regina arched an eyebrow, bemused.
"A segue?"
"You know, an easy conversation transition into telling everyone-"
"Yes, thank you, David, I know what a segue is," Regina snarked, rolling her eyes again. "And how would that go exactly? 'Hey, Emma, pass the salt, oh, and by the way, isn't it weird how Regina and Robin are suddenly dating?"
"Oh, come on, Regina, we'll be subtle!" Mary Margaret said indignantly as though it was the most obvious thing in the world that she and David were discreet people. Regina gave a short derisive laugh, but couldn't deny that she was considering permitting it. It wasn't as though she and Robin had come up with any grand ideas of their own, and, besides, David and Mary Margaret had pretty much just made it clear that Regina and Robin were not leaving this breakfast without the secret being divulged.
"I am so going to regret this," Regina finally conceded, sighing yet again, after a long silence.
—
While Emma, Killian, and Gold made casual chatter and banter, Robin's gaze was completely focused on Regina, Mary Margaret, and David, as they stood by Granny's ordering counter, where they so obviously were not ordering the coffee that they had promised. In the past 30 seconds, Regina had practically set a record for eye rolls, and Snow and David had set their own record for condescending, parental expressions of excitement. Obviously, they were talking about Regina and Robin's new relationship. And, based on Snow and David's sudden expressions of joy, Robin could only assume that Regina had either just confirmed their suspicions, or had assured them that she and Robin were not keeping their relationship a secret. Regardless, Robin prayed that Regina would set a strong lead for him to follow when she got back, because he had utterly no clue what he should and should not say at this point.
Just as he was thinking this, Regina, Mary Margaret, and David moved to return to the booth. Regina made concerned eye contact with him and gave him a look of vast uncertainty, as though wordlessly transmitting that she had no clue what the hell was about to happen. She slid into the booth next to him again without a word. Mary Margaret and David reclaimed their seats opposite them as well.
"Hi, excuse me, where is the coffee I was promised?" Gold asked aggressively, glancing back and forth between the three of them.
"Keep your pants on, it's on the way," David replied casually. Gold scowled.
"Don't sass me, Charming, you three just waited for at least five minutes over there-"
"Granny's a little busy this morning, alright, Gold?" Snow interrupted him, much more impatiently than was normal for her. Gold, seemingly bewildered and frustrated by this unnecessary chastising, deepened his frown and leaned back into his seat.
"Relax, mate, there's Granny now," Killian said to Gold, gesturing his head to the side to point out that Granny had just approached their table with seven cups of coffee and a pitcher of cream. Apparently, David, Regina, and Mary Margaret actually had ordered the coffee. Conversation at the table halted as Granny easily distributed the cups.
"And there's your coffee. I'll come back for your orders in a bit," Granny said, before bustling off again. It was actually somewhat amusing how quickly everyone dove into their coffee. Clearly, Robin's group of friends had a slight caffeine addiction.
"What is everyone ordering?" Emma asked nonchalantly, glancing over a menu. Mary Margaret also picked up a menu, and casually began perusing it.
"Funny you should ask that, Emma, because David and I actually were just ordering Regina to tell all of you that she and Robin are now dating!" Mary Margaret threw out conversationally, as though she had just said something as simple as 'I was thinking eggs and bacon'.
And the reactions to her words were not much more graceful than the manner in which they were announced. Killian spit his coffee back into his cup, Emma nearly choked to death on hers, and Gold just groaned dramatically and face-palmed. Well, that was that then, wasn't it? Robin didn't think he could have come up with a worse way to break the news if he tried.
Robin exchanged a horrified glance with Regina, who simultaneously also looked to be on the verge of climbing across the table and strangling Mary Margaret.
"Subtle, indeed!" Regina hissed ferociously, shooting her such a venomous glare that Robin feared for her life. Even David looked a bit surprised by Mary Margaret's audacity.
"Excuse me?!" Emma practically shouted, glancing frantically back and forth between Regina and Robin, as though trying to decipher something between them that she had clearly missed before.
However, much to Robin's confusion, despite their initial reactions, Killian and Gold didn't look even the slightest bit surprised.
"Come on, love, you had to see that bit coming, didn't you?" Killian lightly chided Emma, letting out a little chuckle. Emma whipped her head over to glare at him.
"No, I most certainly did not have to see it coming! How could I have?!" she responded angrily.
"How could you not? What, between the pining looks, and lingering stares, and wandering eyes, and unnecessary bickering, you didn't pick up on anything there?" Gold mocked Emma derisively, looking over at her in amusement. Meanwhile, Robin and Regina both glowered at Gold.
"Excuse me, my eyes do not wander!" Robin protested defensively. But he knew that, from time to time, his eyes most certainly did wander… last night being a prime example.
"And I do not pine!" Regina snapped. Gold just laughed loudly.
"Oh, please, somebody back me up here," he said, looking at Killian, David, and Mary Margaret.
"Seriously, if it was so obvious, enlighten me as to the signs that I so stupidly missed!" Emma demanded childishly, scowling, and crossing her arms.
"Or we could just not do that-" Regina began, before being cut off by David.
"Well, I got my first hint when, about five minutes after meeting Regina, Robin pulled me aside to ask if she was 'seeing anyone'," David contributed, bemused, shooting Robin an affectionate smile. Robin did not return the expression. He momentarily despised David for divulging that bit, as he had never planned for Regina to know he had asked that.
Robin felt heat rise to his cheeks as Regina pointedly stared at him, smirking, and raising her eyebrows. He rolled his eyes uncomfortably.
"It was before that night at the grocery store, I didn't know about Daniel," Robin muttered in utter embarrassment. Much to his relief, Regina just smiled lightly.
"And I got mine when Regina completely freaked out when David invited Robin to come and sit with us for the first time at lunch," Mary Margaret added smugly, smiling innocently at Regina. Robin watched in amusement as Regina joined him in blushing deeply.
"Freaked out, did you?" he asked her playfully.
"You seemed like an ass," she retorted half-heartedly, glancing away shyly. Robin's heart skipped a beat.
"And I got mine when they practically took each other's clothes off during truth or dare at my party," Killian contributed conversationally, cracking up. Everyone (except Emma) snickered in agreement.
"We just didn't," Regina argued in aggravation, rolling her eyes, but her protest went ignored.
"Oh, please, that's nothing. I thought there might be a little romance blooming, when I caught them upstairs trying to find a bedroom to hook up in," Gold sneered. Robin was shocked that Gold had the audacity to roast him and Regina, considering what he had been in the middle of doing when they had run into each other that night. Robin and Regina exchanged mutually enraged expressions at Gold's treachery.
"Are you sure you want to bring that night up, Gold?-" Regina began to snark, but nobody was interested in speaking about anything other than Regina and Robin.
"Oh, and then I caught Regina trying to sneak out of the house the next morning without saying goodbye," Snow said, grinning.
"Oh my God, I had no clue they hooked up that night, that totally explains the increase in angsty, longing stares between them after my party!" Killian exclaimed, as he roared with laughter, seemingly thrilled with himself for unraveling this mystery. Regina buried her face in her hands, and Robin just sat silently, allowing the thorough roast to continue. Goodness, had his occasional glances at Regina been that obvious? How humiliating.
"Just the longing stares, in general, were a pretty decent hint, Emma," David said, smiling at Emma sympathetically. Emma shook her head in amazement, her prior frustration having evaporated as she took in all the signs that she'd allegedly missed.
"Wow, I really am stupid and unobservant, aren't I?" Emma said sadly, continuing to shake her head.
"Yes, Emma, I simply can't imagine your embarrassment right now," Regina snapped ferociously, giving each person at the table (except Robin) a violent glare.
"Hey, at least everyone knows now. Just had to rip the bandaid off, you know?" Mary Margaret said sweetly, smiling at Regina innocently. Oh, if looks could kill, Mary Margaret surely would have been slaughtered by Regina's.
"Oh, yes, thank God, you took it upon yourself to announce it this way. Crisis averted, well done," Regina snarked. He knew it was the completely wrong time to be thinking about it, but, God, Robin adored her…
"Alright, wait, I'm sorry to be the one to point this out, but are we so sure that this is a good idea?" Emma suddenly asked worriedly, looking around at everyone except Regina and Robin.
"That what is a good idea, Ms. Swan?" Regina asked irritably, sighing. Emma ignored her.
"I mean… we all love Robin, but we've known Regina so much longer, so what do we do when they break up?" Emma asked insensitively, as though she had just stumbled onto some extremely intelligent thought that everybody else had missed. Robin gaped at her. Was she actually being this insensitive?
"How flattering, thank you," Regina said sarcastically, leaning back against the booth miserably.
"That's not a bad point," Killian agreed. Gold shrugged, also somewhat conceding to Emma's question. Mary Margaret and David looked at one another worriedly.
"It could get pretty messy," Mary Margaret admitted. Robin noticed that Regina gave her a look of complete and utter betrayal. Robin couldn't help but agree, considering the fact that Mary Margaret had been so completely on board with their dating not two minutes ago.
"I thought about that," Killian commented proudly. Robin highly doubted that Killian had thought about anything of the sort. Regina seemed to be of similar mind, and she gave an incredibly aggravated eye roll.
"Maybe we need to think about whether or not we should support this…" Emma trailed off, as though Robin and Regina were not blatantly seated right in front of them. As if she had any actual say in the matter!
"God, Emma-" Robin began to interrupt.
"We're sitting right here!" Regina bursted out in frustration. But both of their protests were ignored.
"What if Regina drives him crazy with how neurotic she can be?" Gold asked smugly, clearly just attempting to get under Regina's skin. Regina's jaw dropped open out of sheer shock.
"What if when they break up, they both go completely batshit crazy and refuse to let any of us speak to the other one?" Killian suggested worriedly. Robin certainly could understand his friends' concern about he and Regina dating, but to discuss it so openly in front of them was just awkward and cruel.
"Or worse, what if Robin has to transfer schools, like Daniel?" Emma added.
"Oh, God, speaking of Daniel, what if Robin cheats on her?" David asked tensely. And that was enough.
Robin stood up aggressively. This finally got everyone's attention, and for the first time, they seemed to remember that he and Regina were, in fact, sitting right in front of them.
"Okay, that's it. I've heard enough," Robin interjected angrily.
"Robin, mate, calm down-" Killian began to interrupt, but Robin was not about to be silenced.
"This is my relationship. Not yours, not yours, not yours," Robin began, pointing at David and Mary Margaret, then at Killian and Emma, and then at Gold.
"Yours," Robin continued, gesturing to Regina, who smirked in amusement at seeing Robin come so unhinged on her behalf. "Mine, and hers," Robin said fiercely, motioning to himself, and then back to Regina. "But not YOURS!"
"Robin-" David began calmly, but Robin steamrolled over him.
"So, the forum is officially closed on whether this is a good idea or not, because, regardless, it's happening, we think it's a good idea, and we are in a relationship!" Robin concluded, successfully silencing everyone. He glanced around at his friends, who were now significantly taken aback by his outburst, and awaited anyone who dared to argue.
"Alright, alright, fair enough, but if you two break up-" Killian began to disagree.
"We're not going to break up!" Robin interrupted him in frustration, before he could stop himself. Much to his humiliation, Robin watched the eyebrows of everyone at the table shoot up in surprise at his sudden confession.
"Alright, if we break up, I'll… I'll move, I'll transfer schools, I'll go far, far away and you'll never hear from me again. That way you won't have to choose. Does that satisfy you?" Robin quickly pressed on, attempting to gloss over his little slip of the tongue there. He prayed Regina didn't think too much of it.
"That certainly satisfies me," Mary Margaret said gently, making direct eye contact with Robin for the first time since the debate had commenced. It was odd… In her stare, Mary Margaret seemed to be conveying a silent message, saying something along the lines of 'alright, that was pretty good, and I believe you for now, but so help me God, if you hurt her…'
Robin sat back down awkwardly, and a very uncomfortable silence settled over the seven friends.
"So… waffles, anyone?" Gold finally broke the tension.
