A/N: Writer's block-A seemingly never-ending black hole. I don't know how else to describe it, but it feels damn good to be writing again. Anyhow…Don't know how many of you are still following this story, but I'd love to hear comments on content from any readers, given it's been some time since I posted. And truth be told, I crave feedback…

If any of you have taken the time to review my playlists, then you know I'm a HUGE fan of scores and soundtracks. But I must give credit where credit is due. Listening to the wounded and raw Lykke Li greatly helped me out of my funk these last couple of months. So here it is…a shorter chapter with a glimpse of the old and the new ;)

Chapter 4

M Rating for adult content

It was a joke, Z. Relax... What the hell's with you lately?

The answering growl placed Ryan on alert. The voice felt eerily close, but it wasn't one he recognized.

Was he still dreaming?

Oh…Hey, there. Welcome back, brother. Man, you went out like a light…

Ryan's eyes opened wildly…searching out the source of the voice. Streaks of green and brown flashed before his very eyes as he struggled to gather his bearings; dazed and confused. His eyes scanned his surroundings and yet failed to focus on anything at all. His body felt heavy with fatigue and as he staggered forward, failed to come to his feet. A large dark silver paw stretched out before him and Ryan felt his chest tighten…no doubt the beginnings of a panic attack.

Shit, I think he's gonna pass out again…

And then a calm, steady voice broke through the spell.

It's gonna be alright Ryan. Just breathe…

The smooth baritone was laced with authority…one Ryan felt obliged to obey, though was struggling to steady his breathing.

Phase out Jahir…You too, Z.

Ethan inched his way closer to their newest pup cautiously; aware of Ryan's skyrocketing distress.

Fuck…fuck…fuck…fuck…

Ryan…you need to focus. Try to concentrate on your breathing.

Who are you? What's happening to me?

The numerous scents and sounds were overwhelming…making it difficult to focus on anything at all.

Look to your left…I'm standing right next to you. My name is Ethan and I...

Oh God… you're not real…you're not real…I'm hallucinating…

Ryan tried to think back on his last lucid memory…

Work…Moletti…the pup…what happened to the pup?

The puppy's fine…Akeimi's taking good care of him for you…

The image of Isis's beautiful face came to his thoughts…tinged with the feeling of betrayal. Followed by indescribable rage at the mere thought of HIS face. His mind must've snapped at the fury of coming face to face with him…it was the only logical explanation. Ethan stilled, knowing Paul was stubbornly making his way towards them, and released a warning growl in hopes of keeping him away. But he wasn't quick enough in reigning his thoughts and Ryan turned his massive head towards the approaching man; a morose Solace trailing closely behind.

Ryan had always been quick tempered but the rage consuming him now was unrivaled. A savage snarl echoed out, and it took him several seconds to realize the sound was arising from his being. His lupine eyes focused in on its prey. The root of all his suffering mere yards away. No lucid though taking shape in his mind, only blind fury. And so, he lunged but Solace's quick reflexes staunched his attack; phasing selflessly to take the brunt of his anger. Paul stood stunned and unsure; taken aback with his violent response. A look of hurt and regret marring his handsome features as he allowed himself to be ushered out of harm's way.

Ryan's chaotic thoughts were difficult to piece together but the raw pain welling inside him was something Solace understood all too well. Shame, loss and regret; all emotions he was intimately acquainted with, but the commiserative thought only fueled Ryan's outrage. He couldn't bare the intrusion and the more he fought to control his thoughts, the further his shameful past played out for Ethan and Solace to see. Maybe it was sheer empathy, or the knowledge he was Paul's son, but Ryan's hurt moved Solace greatly; eliciting his own vulnerability. So, he muted the pup's mind, providing him a momentary reprieve, while opening the floodgates of his own troubled memories. All in hopes of proving the pup wrong.

Solace…

Ethan's tone was laced with reproach, but he shrugged the warning away.

He should know…was the remorseful wolf's only response.

His mind journeyed to the night he and Oliver phased...the helplessness it stirred…the resentment birthed at having no choice. Paul's infuriating wit…his own resistance in letting anyone in…Paul's acceptance…Jacob's unwavering support…the unparalleled feeling of belonging which was pack. And then his memories traveled even further back, and the image of Lily's young face stole Ryan's breath away. Her features shone brightly as she accepted half of Oliver's chocolate bar…feelings of comfort and affection thick in Solace's memories of their shared time in the group home…the memory of the morning their lives intertwined once again at the Organic Market…Her pretty features flushed pink at Paul's flirtatious greeting…Her laughter at the ridiculousness of Oliver's escapades during their many evenings shared in the remote cabin…The look of genuine affection in Paul's eyes as he regarded her.

But then his memories took a darker turn…Paul's inner turmoil over leaving Lily behind in search of Leah...The desolation afflicting the pack over the she-wolf's loss…Paul's melancholia…Lily's silent strength and support…A tender moment captured by the pack of the smitten wolf and Ryan's mother…The conflict raging inside Paul over the possibility of imprinting… his inability to walk away…and then mutual heartbreak over Paul's decision to leave La Push.

Ryan struggled to push the memories out of his head…not wanting to see anymore; Solace's blatant affection for Paul, tarnishing the legitimacy of his memories in the pup's eyes. But they were also painful to endure. He couldn't recall ever seeing such lightness in his mother's eyes. The memories evoked such pain and longing…picking at scabs not fully healed. Ryan felt like the orphaned kid yet again, facing an uncertain future alone.

Not alone, Ryan. Never alone...

The Alpha's voice rung steady and true as he entered the mind link. But Ryan refused to accept his words. He wanted this nightmare over…wanted to erase any trace of this day away and head home…

But where was that exactly?

We're your home now Ryan…

NO…

Cheveyo's voice softened considerably and Solace recognized the beginnings of "The Talk". So, he abandoned the mind link, allowing Ethan and Cheveyo time to do their thing. His continued presence was only causing Ryan further distress and Solace wanted desperately to check in on Paul. Guilt weighed heavy on him for his part on how this had played out. And though he knew he had an earful coming his way, it would never be enough to keep him away. So, he followed the worn trail he'd walked countless of times, thinking on how to support the man he loved and respected so deeply…


Her lips brushed against the tiny soles of his feet, worshiping his soft skin; desperately committing every fold and birthmark to memory. His beautiful, jubilant smile dissolving the remainder of her fragile composure. Nauja's voice quivered with an ache so deep, she struggled to spit out the words shredding her insides as they clawed up her throat. Her shaky fingers pulled his tiny hand against her cheek, pressing her nose against the palm of his perfect hand.

"May mother moon guard over your every step, my love. And when you feel the gentle tap of her tears on your cheek during grey skies, know that I weep with her. For you are taking my heart with you…"

Aylen tugged against her grip, gently trying to remove the child from her grasp.

"No... I'm not ready. I need more time…please"

"There is no time, Nauja. We must go…"

She followed closely behind, her watery eyes tracking her son's tiny frame. Aguta welcomed his grandson onto his loving arms, gazing at his daughter forlornly.

"Aylen speaks the truth. We must part if I am to deliver him to safety"

"Where will you take him? Please…I must know…"

"It is for their protection that neither of you know. Tuari's son and your own can no longer walk the path of our people. But take comfort in knowing their fates will not be decided by Chikuk's poisoned heart"

Broken, violent sobs wracked her lithe frame, and she allowed herself the comfort of Aylen's restraining arms, as she watched her father carry her son away. Nauja had lost her brother and Alpha in one day…had mourned the death of her mate…had gulped down the salt of her tears in silent strength. But none of it came close to the unbearable agony engulfing her now. She was losing her only child, and doing so willingly…

The fierce she-wolf stood tall and proud under the sky's drizzle; working to disguise the sting the scene before her evoked. These moments of nostalgia happened less and less but witnessing Kayan's exuberance pulled her back to painful memories, best left behind.

He'd be a grown man by now. Did he have a family of his own?

She prayed he was healthy and content in his life. Nauja caught Aylen's soft gaze, knowing he was one person she had no hope of fooling. They'd been to hell and back together, and few knew her as intimately as he. Her eyes wandered to Kayan, and then back to his, hoping to convey the deep affection she held for his young son. She glanced towards the woman who'd bore him life with equal fondness; an affectionate chuckle rising in her throat at the irony of it all. Things between them hadn't always been this harmonious, but they were family now…one loyal, dysfunctional family.

Nauja caught the look of worry in the she-wolf's eyes as she surveyed her son, knowing the sentiment all too well. It was warranted after all…Kayan was growing in agility and strength, displaying signs of an early phase. And the implications of that were dire, if Chikuk came to see him as a threat. But there were other worries heavy in Nauja's mind. Tikaani's mind appeared elsewhere…growing distant since returning from the hunt. Something lurked behind those stunning eyes of hers, and Nauja had a mind to corner her daughter into spilling the beans at first opportunity.

So, she allowed the wind to carry her gloomy thoughts away like so many times past; coming to stand by the woman who'd become her most trusted confidant. A distrustful foreigner on arrival…a pupil of sorts in the latter stage…and eventually, their bond surpassing jealousy and mistrust to become one of deep loyalty and admiration. Nauja echoed Leah's dotting gaze. Kayan was fearless, determined to surpass his sister in combat skill and though Tikaani's indulgence was limitless, this was one area in which she'd never give an inch. And he admired and respected her even more so for it.

"Think Kayan…"

Cheekiness laced her very word as she met her father's narrowed gaze in homage. But Aylen picked up Tayen's approaching scent and was quick to stop the impromptu sparring session, fearful of word reaching Chikuk's ears.

"That's enough for today..."

And Nauja followed his lead, knowing the danger of exposing Kayan's growing skill. Time was not on their side…if Kayan phased, he would undoubtedly be marked as a threat in Chikuks's sinister mind…if he didn't, then he'd be sent away like all the "undesirables" as Chikuk would have them be called. And that was simply not an option, because Leah would soon forfeit her life than part with her son. It'd mean the end of them, for Aylen would not idly stand by. And even though Nauja had once lived through the heartache herself, knew she'd also not allow it.

"Well isn't this the picture of familial bliss?"

Sarcasm dripped in every of the ambitious she-wolf's words, but Aylen knew indifference was best when combating Tayen's malice; greeting her with a curt nod.

"Tikaani, it's good to see you looking so energized. I was just telling Chikuk how distracted you appeared at the hunt"

Leah's eyes burned a hole in the back of Tayen's head, while she continued vindictively.

"I mean at one point, the pack lost track of you…Following a rogue vampire, right? But I don't recall finding a single cold one's remains away from the slaughter"

And Tikaani couldn't stop herself from clapping back.

"Well I still managed to bring down four. How many did you bring down, Tayen? I couldn't tell, with you lagging behind"

Aylen released an exasperated sigh over his daughter's reply.

"What Tikaani means to say, is that she's grateful you were taking point at the defensive end of the line. Didn't you Tikaani?"

His daughter's clear- colored eyes burned indignantly but she managed the composure to fake a smile of acceptance before seeing Tayen turn and go. Tikaani couldn't meet her father's gaze…she hated how submissive Chikuk had forced, or better yet, beaten him to be. Chikuk aside, he was by far their strongest and most skilled male wolf… sage in most things. But since returning, had been demoted to the lowest of positions in their ranks. All in the name of bargaining for their lives. It made her sick, and after what she'd encountered in the forest, was warring with all she believed to be true.

Aylen turned livid eyes his daughter's way and Nauja used the opportunity to grant the imprinted couple some much needed time together.

"Come Kayan, I need help skinning the boar. You can claim a flank for your efforts"

And Leah excused herself to the task of washing clothes by the river's edge, knowing Aylen would follow her trail. Thus, leaving father and daughter alone.

"Is your pride worth provoking her? You are smarter than this…you know what is at stake. Why invite more scrutiny our way?"

"My pride? What about your pride? You are a superior warrior and hunter than all his disciples combined and yet you plead for their scraps…And for what? So, we can continue enduring their ridicule? My pride is all I have left, father…"

"If that is how you truly feel, then I have failed you, Tikaani"

Aylen's eyes betrayed his deep sadness as he captured his daughter's shoulders between his hands, before turning to go.

Tikaani considered going after him, feeling wretched over her words; but reconsidered in favor of allowing his father a few stolen moments with Leah. It wasn't often they were granted idle time, but Chikuk was feeling charitable after their successful hunt. They'd only lost one she-wolf in their endeavor, over the many vampire scalps collected. An inconsequential loss in their great leader's eyes. And to sweeten the spoils, they'd returned with enough meat to feed them for several weeks. But she was growing restless, wavering on sharing what she'd witness. The prospect could turn the tides in their favor, but if wrong, she'd chance unraveling her mother and Leah's remaining peace of mind. Tikaani needed to think, to strategize with the skill her father had bestowed on her before committing to any course of action. So, she chose to run in human form. To allow the drumming of her feet against the earth to quiet out the noise of her troubled thoughts.


Aylen followed the intoxicating scent of honey, past the stream where most came to wash. A small smile gracing his lips as he proceeded down the lengthy concealed path, to their secret cave. It was these moments when he felt most unworthy of her. Crippled in his inability to change their fate, and yet inconceivably grateful she remained by his side; subjecting herself to a life of servitude and no power of choice. Even after learning the truth…Though in all honesty, how could he have kept it from her after coming face to face with Chikuk? The resemblance between their tyrant leader and her pack brother was unquestionable.

She'd contemplated escaping many times through the years; had struggled considerably in adapting to their way of life… But in the end she'd fought to earn a place by his side and acceptance among his own. And even though he lived in constant guilt over their bond and its part in her decision to remain, Aylen knew he could never bring himself to wish it otherwise. How could he? He'd dedicated his livelihood to assuring his daughter and Nauja's safety. More so now given all Aguta had shared. But Leah had returned meaning into his empty life.

Aylen inhaled deep as he entered the cave, savoring her luscious natural scent in the confinement of the secluded cave. Leah didn't need her lupine nose to alert her of his approaching steps. The small hairs rising in the back of her neck never failed to forewarn when he was near. The opportunities for intimacy were rare and few and they didn't have much time before somebody noticed their absence. So, Leah wasted no time in beginning to undress. But Aylen's calloused fingers moved to stop her; placing his lips on the back of her neck as he came to join her inside the small cove.

His nose skimmed the side of her neck longingly, refusing to rush…Who knew when they'd be granted another opportunity as this and he was determined not to squander it away. His arms pulled her body close, savoring her warmth. And Leah felt an indescribable need to seek his gaze. She'd lost herself many a time in his eyes…intimacy in its purest form…addicting as the feel of his skin against hers.

Their story was not for the faint of heart…by no means a storybook romance. The she-wolf had struggled to come to terms with her reality after arriving at camp. Outraged and disbelieving of the misogynist infrastructure imposed on them. This was no pack…the she-wolves outnumbered the wolves 3 to 1 and yet were treated like second rate citizens. Exploited… bartered like cattle and yet expected to hunt and kill for the pack. Leah had once believed she was skilled in the art of combat but had been proven foolishly wrong on arrival. The Aleut she-wolves were ruthless fighters; stripped off their humanity and broken into submission until the thirst for survival was all that remained. Warfare skill and acumen utilized as a means to gain status and privilege in the pack. Chikuk was a heartless ruler, but equally cunning and shrewd. Fostering the she-wolves' pursuit to best one another was his means of assuring discord and preventing solidarity.

She thought back to the humiliation felt after realizing she'd be forced to live under Nauja's roof; dependent on her for all things. Her of all people…his confidant…the mother of his child…a seasoned warrior and respected member of the Aleut pack. Needless to say, Leah had been one royal bitch on arrival. And Nauja responded by treating her like an unruly child. But things changed after Aylen's return. Chikuk made an example of him, allowing the male wolves to beat him within an inch of his life over the betrayal. And though she and Tikaani fought to protect him, it'd been Nauja who'd ultimately saved his life; utilizing her influence with Chikuk to spare him.

Aylen was reduced to the lowest of the ranks and Leah learned a hard lesson on pride. She was a liability he couldn't afford; driving her to push ego to the side in hopes of learning the ways of his people. It was a bond forged over the love each woman held for father and daughter. In time, Leah came to see a parallel between the love Nauja held for Aylen to the love she had for one Jacob Black. It provided much needed perspective which strengthened the tentative bond of comradery between both she-wolves. So she remained…enduring maltreatment and biases from his people while painstakingly earning her place by his side.

Pack law prevented Chikuk from whoring her to another wolf, but it didn't stop him from limiting their time together. Still, they found ways to meet, making their trysts all the more passionate. Aylen was an enigma, Leah had been determined to solve. There were days she wished to have remained naïve; secluded with him in the desert away from the rest of the world. But then she might've never come to see him as the man standing before her. Leah believed she'd known love, but it'd been a watered-down version of the bond existing between them now.

She continued seeking his gaze, even when his fingers traced the outline of her breasts. Her eyes clouded with desire, but the spark of mischief in his eyes told her he was traveling down memory lane as well. It was in that same spot after all, where she'd broken the news. Nauja had confirmed her suspicions and Leah had broken down in tears over the prospect of bringing a child into such a life. Aylen's eyes had betrayed his own fear, but not enough to surpass the elation experienced at hearing her words. A child…their child…

Leah had long given up on the prospect of motherhood; unprepared for the tsunami of change it would bring to her life. Never a coward, but the prospect of motherhood had terrified her to no end.

Would she be good enough? Selflessness and patience had never been her virtues…

But none of it mattered the minute she felt her child move inside her. The news of the pregnancy had been surprisingly welcomed by most; with the exception of Chikuk, of course. It wasn't often she-wolves conceived, and Leah fully understood why. The likelihood of being forced to relinquish one's child had a way of making that happen…But even the most hardened she-wolves softened at the prospect of new life in the pack. And Leah had earned her stripes among them. Under Nauja's watchful guidance, she'd battled for her place among Aylen's people.

Kayan's birth had brought on a much-welcomed change. She was allowed freedoms eluding most; time to heal and bond with her son…a hearth of her own…but more importantly, Aylen was allowed access to them both. And it was during this time, in which Leah's love transformed into so much more. The tenderness and devotion in which he cared for their son fortified her firm commitment to the quiet wolf.

She continued searching his gaze, recognizing the agonized look in Aylen's eyes. A silent apology for the life he'd given her. For all he wished he could change. And the she-wolf answered with a fierce kiss. It spoke of longing…of acceptance…and of unconditional love. She led him to the cove's edge, removing her tunic top and straddling him with unmistakable intent. They hadn't made love in some time and Leah craved for the feeling of his touch; longed for the familiarity of his body beneath hers as he entered her.

Enough time had passed since their last intimate encounter for Alyen to take notice of the subtle changes marking her naked body. Fuller breasts…glowing skin…and then he heard it…the subtle fluttering of a developing heart.

"Leah…."

His voice cracked with emotion…and she continued holding his gaze, not needing words to understand his meaning….

It was bad timing…Kayan could phase at any moment and the implications of that were grim…But would there ever be a good time?

Leah was tired of feeling like she was living on borrowed time…tired of praying and hoping for change. She'd arrived a foreigner…set on resisting the ways of his people. Acclimating and surviving, yes, but never making their customs her own. It was a lie she told herself, for his people had become her people and they deserved better. If united, the she-wolves of this pack were an unstoppable force; outnumbering Chikuk's followers. They just needed a reason to believe in something more…

And Leah had found her reasons…This was HER family…Aylen was HER man…She'd bled to earn HER place amongst the she-wolves of this pack…And she'd be damn if she continued living her life on someone else's watch. Aylen took in her steadfast gaze, recognizing the fierce look in her eyes. Leah was readying to fight. And there was no stopping the woman he loved, when she set her mind to something. Aguta had told him he'd know when the time was right to act. But was it truly the right time?

If not now, when, Aylen?

The memory of Tuari's voice rung clear in his mind as if he'd whispered it himself. Aylen smiled genuinely, reaching to cradle his woman's belly in content. He didn't know what awaited around the corner, but his family couldn't afford to wait around for Chikuk's next vile act. There was simply too much at stake. So, he drew her close, meeting her fierce gaze with his own, and whispered out words Leah had longed to hear…

"We will need Kalia's support…"


"YES…YES…YES…"

He ripped open his cousin's coveted cereal bag with gusto, assuring he'd hear amid his hook-up's cries.

"Don't you fucking dare, Z…"

It came out as a strangled grunt. But Ezra could hear the threat in his words; responding by chewing on the flavored marshmallows spitefully. The continued rhythmic banging of his bedframe was obscene; clearly meaning to antagonize him further.

It was so on…

It wasn't like he'd never awoken to his roommate's noisy trysts. But Ezra was in a foul mood; drowning in a sea of self-pity and misery. And listening to his best friend getting it on while he choked on unrequited love was a bit much to withstand. Or maybe it was Jahir's ability to detach emotion from sex which had him green with envy and lashing out. Either way, it was pathetically foolish to feel this way. He knew this, but it didn't make the gash in his heart hurt any less…

There'd been no warning. No goodbye…not even a courtesy "see you later". One moment, his back had welcomed the pain of the tree's jagged bark while the rest of his body hummed in pleasure at his lover's ministrations. Two days later, he was gone… He'd never implied it'd meant more than the two stolen, intimate moments shared. Nor spoken out words of undying love and devotion…So why did it feel like the worst kind of betrayal?

Ezra's eyes welled up with unshed tears, while cursing his weakness. After the initial shock and devastation, his pain had morphed into downright anger; wavering between the two ever since. Anger, for deluding himself into believing he'd meant more than the pleasure of flesh, and for his initial moment of weakness in reaching out to him for support.

When had admiration turned to unadulterated love? Or had it always been so? Had his infatuation led him to pursue his company under the pretense of seeking advice? Maybe…and the realization forced him deeper into the pit of self-loathing.

Ezra could almost pin-point the moment his eyes had surveyed the buoyant wolf through a new lens. And time had only served to strengthen the fervor of his feelings. He'd been pining away for him for so long, the idea his yearning could ever transform into anything but, had been inconceivable to him. And then it did…and it'd been pure bliss. But their intimate moments were now tarnished by the gaping hole he'd left behind. He wanted to hate him…wanted to curse every moment spent in his home, but knew he'd crawl back to him at first opportunity if given the chance.

How pathetic was that?

The young wolf wiped his tears away as his roommate's door swung open. A disheveled leggy brunette shuffled out, mortified at a witness of her walk of shame. But Ezra was too much of a gentleman to meet her gaze, lowering his to the half-eaten cereal. His eyes narrowed at his cousin's cheeky grin…his nose crumpling in distaste at the heady scent, and wasted little time expressing his displeasure after their guest's exit.

"Put some fucking clothes on, it reeks in here"

Jahir continued unperturbed; taking a seat across their kitchen island and digging into his favorite cereal without a care in the world. But Ezra's persistent brooding had him worried, and he wasn't one to mince his words.

"Is this about Hawk? I thought you were good with this? We all miss him dude, but you know it was for the best…"

Ezra released a loud sigh…Hawk's departure had left a large void in their family, and though it pained him greatly, his cantankerous mood spun from so much more, which only added to his feelings of guilt over his pity-party.

"No. I mean yes, but not entirely…"

"So, what's up man? You've been moping around this last week…What gives?"

Ezra was so tired of hiding…so tired of relying on his inherited control to keep the pack from learning of his secret. And truth be told, Jahir should have been the first person he told. They were more like siblings than cousins, and there was little kept secret between them. Maybe it was his heightened sense of vulnerability or the great need to unburden his soul, but the young wolf chose no filter as he spit out the words he'd been keeping so hidden.

"I'm gay…"

Jahir paused mid- crunch of his fruity- flavored cereal. His eyes meeting his cousin's gaze expectantly… then curiously, as no other words followed.

"And?"

Ezra appeared lost for words, wondering if his cousin had heard him correctly.

"I just told you that I'm gay…"

"I know…but what of it?"

His mouth fell open in shock, completely stunned by the realization Jahir didn't appear in the least bit surprised by his confession.

"YOU KNEW?"

"Of course, I knew…"

"Then why didn't you say anything?"

His tone was laced with blatant reproach; reeling from his cousin's admission. Ironic, given it was he who'd just come out.

"I just figured it wasn't something you wanted to talk about. But I never imagined you felt you couldn't tell me…What the fuck, Z?"

Their bromance was frequently compared to that of Ethan and Sebastian's, and the look of betrayal in his best friend's eyes put Ezra to shame. It was after all a valid question, for there had never been a time when Jahir hadn't had his back. So, he struggled to come up with a plausible reply. Truth was, there wasn't one…the stigma had been self-inflicted; his fear of coming out, driven by his own plethora of self-doubt. He was a direct descendant of the Alpha line, and Ezra had wondered on more than one occasion if he'd be deemed a blemish to the bloodline. Jacob Black was his grandfather after all; a great honor on most days…but it was sometimes daunting to live under his shadow.

Then there was his father…an equally great man. Solace had gifted them boundless love and support throughout their childhood. And he and his siblings hero-worshipped him for it, but Ezra couldn't bear the thought of his rejection or disapproval. Which only made the prospect of coming out, that much harder. But the sorrow engulfing him now stemmed from a different source, and Ezra couldn't find the courage to speak of his heartbreak.

Jahir took in the desolation marking his best friend's features. His cousin's eyes strained to keep the tears from falling and his indignation morphed into genuine concern.

"Z, it makes no difference to me who you choose to be with. I thought you knew me better than that?"

Ezra struggled for composure but managed a slight nod in consensus.

"I should've told you…I wanted to tell you…It should've been you…"

Jahir's eyes narrowed in confusion at his cousin's last words.

"What do you mean by that?"

But Ezra shook the question away, making light of his emotional state.

"Don't pay me no mind, man. I'm just being a cry-baby…Are you really good with this?"

Jahir walked around their kitchen table, readying for a friendly bro-hug, but Ezra was quick to move away.

"Oh, hell no…you haven't even showered"

And Jahir's clap back was swift and with equal bite.

"I always knew you had a thing for me…my body has that effect on people"

"Bitch, please. You're a walking STI…And you're not eve my type"

"What do you mean? I'm everybody's type…"

Ezra laughed with genuine glee, grateful for his best friend's humor and support. Jahir's eyes narrowed speculatively. He knew there was something else behind his friend's gloominess, but it wasn't the right moment to pry. It'd be a conversation for another day. Ezra held Solace's air-tight control, but his emotional turmoil had made him a bit sloppy, and he'd caught a glint of a memory during their last patrol. So, they continued their playful banter through the early hours of dawn, the conversation turning reproachful at the now-empty cereal bag. The heartbroken young wolf took comfort where he could, unaware an equally mournful wolf lay awake under the night's sky, haunted by the memory of his touch.

Playlist

Alone-Matthew Herbert

The Story of the Swan-Rachel Portman

I never Learn-Lykke Li

Never Gonna Love Again -Lykke Li