ATUHOR'S NOSE: This was a request or whatever
Once upon a time Lori and her Bobby Boo-Boo Bear decided to go to some random forest and have a picnic with their many, many friends.
"This was a great idea!" said Lori as she set up her pic-a-nic blanket. "Isn't that right, Bobby, Ronnie Anne, Carol, Whitney, Becky, Dana, Chaz, Mandee, Jackie, Carlota, Fiona, Teri and Miguel?"
"Yes, Lori!" they all said in unison.
But just as Lori was about to take a bite of her grilled cheese sandwich, she felt a gust of hot breath on the nape of her neck. She turned around and saw... a moose.
"Um... hello, moose," said Lori. But the moose responded by eating her sandwich!
"What the actual fuck?! I was going to eat that, you dick!" yelled Lori.
"YEAH WELL TOO BAD, I'M A MOTHERFUCKIN' MOOSE SO I CAN EAT WHAT I WANT, BITCH," said the moose. He then walked over to Chaz, who was eating some enchiladas. Apparently the moose was unaware that you should never, ever come between a fat kid and his food. Chaz ran at the moose and buffeted him with a series of lightning-fast chops, punches and kicks - which, initially, the moose seemed to shrug off.
But then, as he was walking away, he said, "Omae wa mou shindeiru," and the moose was like, "NANI?!" and he exploded in a shower of blood and guts. Everyone was coated in the moose's insides, and Jackie started licking herself clean because she's a gross ho.
"Don't you realize that there are more germs in a moose's liver than there are on a TOILET SEAT?!" cried Teri. But Jackie paid her no mind.
Sadly, getting messy turned out to be the least of their problems, because a herd of meese saw what happened and ran in to avenge their fallen comrade. The first moose trampled Miguel, whose last words were, "OOOOOH, LET MY LOVE ADORN YOU..." Fiona was so terrified that she ran all the way back home to Far Far Away.
"You don't scare me!" said Whitney. "I have a black belt in-"
But the second moose flipped Whitney into the air with his antlers and used her as a hackey sack until all of her bones were broken. The world would never know what she had a black belt in.
The third moose peer pressured Becky into snorting marijuana. She died instantly. (Please don't do marijuana. It's the most dangerous drug out there.)
The fourth moose tried to charge Ronnie Anne, but Ronnie Anne was too tough and mean because she's just a big bully who abuses Lincoln and I think she did 9/11. The meese all ran away in fear of her, but not before one of them grabbed Mandee in her teeth. No one really cared because it's impossible to take a woman seriously when her name ends with two "e"s. Sorry, but it's true.
"Thanks, Ronnie Anne! You're our hero!" said Carol.
"Yes, you are!" said Carlota while she twerked her thick caliente booty.
And then Dana did a backflip or something IDK lol
THE END
