Chapter 3: Stinking Beauty

(Insert "Alouette")

The next day, Fifi La Fume went to school like the other students. Right now, it was lunchtime and all the students were having lunch. Babs and Shirley were sitting at the same table. "Have you heard about what happened to Elmyra yesterday?" asked Babs. "Yeah. She was, like, run over by a train and was sent to the hospital. She's going be in there for a while, especially cause she got hit by the Joker's Jokermobile too," said Shirley. "Not only that. Professor Pepé Le Pew found out about how Elmyra impersonated him to get to Fifi. So in retaliation, once Elmyra gets out of the hospital, she's going to be suspended for a month," said Babs. "I also heard that her family is getting sued cause Elmyra stole a float and it got destroyed," said Shirley.

"I'd say justice hahs been served," said a voice. It was Fifi La Fume. She sat down next to her two best friends. "Hello Fifi," said Babs & Shirley. "Bahnjour, geerls," said Fifi. She began to giggle and titter to herself. "What's up with you, Fifi?" asked Babs. "Like, what's giving you the giggles?" asked Shirley. "I've been sinkeeng ahbout ze cute boy who sahved my life frahm Elmyra yesterday," said Fifi. "Is it actually, like, a real skunk hunk?" asked Shirley. "He's naht a skunk, but he's just ahs cute ahnd hahndsahme," said Fifi. "So what is he and what does he look like?" asked Babs. "And what is his name?" asked Shirley. "He's a mouse ahbout my size ahnd ahs fahr whaht he looks like, how's ahbout I show you een ahrt clahss lahtair tahday?" asked Fifi. "Sure," said Babs & Shirley.

(End Music)

After lunch period, all the students attended art class. The teacher teaching this class was Pepé Le Pew. He was a black and white, adult male skunk. "When I wahs chahseeng ahftair one skunk fahtale, I chahsed hair een ze louvre museum. Eet ees full of wahnderful ahrt mahsterpieces," explained Pepé. "Masterpieces he probably ruined with his stench too," whispered Plucky to Buster. "Shh," said Buster. "Now clahss, I would like you to paint your own mahsterpieces een ahnyway zat you desire, ahs lahng ahs eets ahpprahpriate. You may begeen," said Pepé. Fifi knew exactly what she wanted to paint and began painting it immediately.

After a couple of minutes, the students were finishing painting their artwork. Each student took turns to show their painting to the rest of the class. Finally, it was Fifi La Fume's turn. "So, Fifi La Fume, whaht hahve you painted?" asked Pepé. "Yesterday, Elmyra tried to cahpture me ahnd mahke me hair pet. But zen, ziss cute boy cahme to ze rescue. I decided to mahke a painteeng depeecteeng when zat boy sahved my life," said Fifi.

(Insert "Pikachu Appears" from Pokémon)

Fifi then showed everybody else the painting. It was a painting of Pikachu zapping Elmyra silly. Also in the painting was Fifi herself, with an expression as if saying, "My hero". "Aaaaaaawwww," said Babs & Shirley, infatuated by Pikachu's cuteness. "He looks like so cute," said Babs. "Like, what is his name?" asked Shirley. "Hees nahme ees Peekahchu," said Fifi. "Like, a cute boy's got to have a cute name like that," said Shirley. "I know," said Fifi.

"This guy looks like he belongs in a Japanese video game. The name sounds Japanese too," said Buster. "Is it me, or is he zapping Elmyra with electricity?" asked Plucky. "Wee. He cahn fire electreecity frahm zose cute rahsy cheeks of hees. He gahve Elmyra quite ze well deserved shahckeeng," said Fifi. "Is that what sent her to the hospital yesterday?" asked Babs. "No. Frahm whaht I heard, she wahs run ovair by a speedeeng express train zat cahme out of a painted tunnel. I bet Peekahchu used eet to escahpe Elmyra," said Fifi. "Ees Peekahchu a new student? I would like to meet ze boy who sahved my prahtégé," said Pepé. "I deed ahsk Bugs eef he ahttends Ahcme Looniverseety, but he says zere eesn't a student weeth zat nahme on ze student leest. I sink he's just one of ze lahcahl woodlahnd creatures," said Fifi.

(End Music)

Mary Melody then realized something. "Oh my goodness! Fifi, do you have any idea what saved you?" asked Mary. "Should I, Mahry?" asked Fifi.

(Insert "I Choose You" from Pokémon)

"Pikachu is one of my many subspecies of a race of creatures called Pokémon," said Mary. "Whaht kind of creatures ahre Pahkémahn?" asked Fifi. "Pokémon are these creatures with amazing abilities. They also have different elemental types. Eighteen different types to be exact. Grass, Poison, Fire, Flying, Water, Bug, Normal, Electric, Ground, Fairy, Fighting, Psychic, Rock, Steel, Ice, Ghost, Dragon and Dark," explained Mary. "Ahs I weetnessed, zat Peekahchu wahs one of ze electreec-types, right?" asked Fifi. "Right," said Mary. "Just how mahny deefferent subspecies of Pahkémahn ahre zere?" asked Fifi. "Eight hundred," said Mary. "Ooh la la. Zat's a laht," said Fifi. "But there are new species that are still being discovered," said Mary. She paused.

"People keep these Pokémon as pets. But the most popular use is to use them in Pokémon battles, where Pokémon would battle each for competition or fun. These people are known as Pokémon Trainers. But there are those who want to use them for evil too. Fortunately, there are those who fight to stop them from taking over the world. Sometimes, when a Pokémon gets stronger, they change into a new type of Pokémon that's stronger than their previous form. That's Pokémon evolution. For example, a Bulbasaur can evolve into a Ivysaur, and then a Venusaur. A Pikachu actually evolves from a baby Pokémon called Pichu. It evolves into Pikachu if it has a high friendship with its Trainer. And if exposed to a Thunder Stone, a Pikachu will evolve into a Raichu. Pokémon are very rare in Acme Acres. You were lucky that Pikachu was in town," said Mary.

(End Music)

"I guess I wahs. Ze truth ees, when he cahme to my rescue, he deed stahrt out ahs a Peechu. But dureeng ze rescue, Peechu gaht hurt. Out of desperahtion, I keessed heem, hahpeeng he'd regain hees strength. When I keessed heem, zat's when he evahlved eento a Peekahchu," said Fifi. "If my guess was correct, your growing love for the cutie must've what triggered his evolution," said Mary. "Wee. Right ahftair school, I'm going to find heem ahnd give heem a prahpair zank you fahr sahveeng me," said Fifi. She giggled, thinking about Pikachu. "Ahh. Eet seems Fifi hahs found a pahtential true lahve, yes?" asked Pepé.

(Insert "Alouette")

After school, Fifi La Fume went to find Pikachu. Her search took her to the Acme Acres Park. She spotted Pikachu, taking a nap. The instant Fifi spotted Pikachu, the stripe on her back and tail began to turn red like a thermometer. Her eyes turned into pink hearts and her heart pounded with love. Her tongue was sticking out too. "Ooh la la! Zere's my leettle lightneeng bahlt of l'ahmour!" said Fifi. But then, she noticed Pikachu was napping. "He's ahsleep. But I know whaht will wahke heem up; true lahve's first keess," said Fifi, raising her eyebrows.

(End Music)

Fifi tiptoed toward Pikachu and kneeled down so that she would be eye level with him. The purple skunkette then puckered her lips and began to kiss Pikachu on the lips. As Fifi kissed him, Pikachu's eyes started to open, slowly at first. But then, they widened real big when he realized he was being kissed. "Aaaaaugh! Yuck! I've been kissed on the lips by a girl! Bleah!" said Pikachu. He began to gag and spit on the ground in disgust. "Aaaaawww. Whaht's ze mahttair? Ahre you ahfraid I hahve cooties?" teased Fifi. She let out a girly giggle.

"Hey. You're the girl skunk that I saved the life of yesterday," said Pikachu. "Wee. Een cahse you dahn't remembair, my nahme ees Fifi La Fume," said Fifi. "Why did you kiss me?! It was disgusting!" cried Pikachu. "Hahven't you read certain fairy tahles? True lahve's first keess cahn wahke up certain royal sleepy heads," said Fifi. "But its the boy who wakes up the girl with a kiss! Not the other way around!" cried Pikachu. "Zat's too stereotypeecahl. You deedn't seem to mind when I keessed you on ze leeps yesterday, wheech treeggered your evahlution," said Fifi. "That was because I was too weak to even care at that time," said Pikachu.

(Insert "Love Theme" from Romeo & Juliet Tchaikovsky)

Fifi then wrapped her bushy tail around Pikachu to bring him close to her. "Oh merci! Merci! Merci! Zank you fahr sahveeng me frahm Elmyra! I owe you my life!" cried Fifi. The purple skunkette began to kiss Pikachu silly, getting his face covered in pink kiss marks. "Oh, you hahve no idea how lahng I've waited fahr a boy like you. You're ze first nahn-skunk hunk I've becahme ahttrahcted to," said Fifi. She resumed kissing Pikachu, giggling in between kisses. Pikachu seemed to enjoy Fifi's kisses. That is, until he started to smell Fifi's horrible odor. Her stink fumes were purple in contrast to Pepé's green skunk fumes. His eyes were also starting to tear up too. "Madame, compose yourself! We just met! We're two different species!" cried Pikachu. "Doesn't mahttair. Mahry Melahdy tahld me sahmetimes two deefferent species of Pahkémahn may fahll een lahve weeth each othair. So, a rahmahnce between us ees pahsseeble, even zough I'm naht a Pahkémahn myself," said Fifi. She batted her eyelashes at Pikachu in a very cute manner. Fifi then began to kiss Pikachu on the lips.

(End Music)

Pikachu couldn't take Fifi's smell any longer. The electric mouse suddenly broke free and began to run away, screaming. Fifi then began to prance after Pikachu, giggling. "I lahve eet when boys play hahrd to get!" cried Fifi. Pikachu ran as fast as his legs could carry him, with Fifi La Fume in hot pursuit of him. Hearts floated above Fifi as she chased the cute electric-type Pokémon. Pikachu was starting to grow tired from all the running until he finally collapsed to the ground.

Fifi managed to catch up with Pikachu and picked him up. "Aaaaaaawwwwwww. You tired frahm ahll zat runneeng? Dahn't wahrry, Fifi will mahke you bettair, weeth sahme snuggleeng ahnd smoocheeng," said Fifi. Pikachu regained his senses and gasped. "Pikachuuuuuuuuuuu!" cried Pikachu as he let off a Thunder Shock attack. Fifi yelped as she got zapped silly. Pikachu then ran for it once again. Fifi's hair and fur were spiked up due to being zapped. "Fleert," said Fifi.

Fifi La Fume began to search all over Acme Acres for Pikachu. "Yoo hoo! Where ahre you, my escahrgaht of lahve?" asked Fifi. Just then, she saw Pikachu across the street. He cleaned his face of the lipstick marks Fifi planted on him. Right now was slurping up a bottle of ketchup. The electric-type Pokémon seemed to enjoy the stuff. Fifi then got an idea. "You know whaht zey say, ze best way to a mahn's heart ees through hees stahmahch," said Fifi, winking.

Later, Fifi La Fume got both a bottle of ketchup and a small plate. She laid the plate and began pouring the ketchup on the plate. At that moment, Babs was walking by. "What are you doing, Fifi?" asked Babs. "Quite simple. I'm lureeng Peekahchu out weeth ziss ketchup," said Fifi. "So, why use ketchup?" asked Babs. "'Cause he crahves eet," said Fifi. Fifi then put a sign that read, "Free Ketchup". "I can't believe you've stooped to the coyotes' level," said Babs. She then left. "Ziss hahd bettair wahrk," said Fifi. She hid behind some trash cans. Pikachu was wandering when he saw the plate of ketchup. "Pika Pika!" cried Pikachu happily. He licked his lips and began to lap up the ketchup.

(Insert "Hiya, Hot Stuff" from Pokémon)

Fifi then emerged from her hiding place and covered his eyes. "Guess who?" asked Fifi. Fifi turned Pikachu around so that the two would be face to face. Pikachu gasped when he saw it was Fifi. Oh no. Not her again. She baited me with that ketchup, thought Pikachu. Fifi's eyes were pink hearts as she embraced Pikachu. "Bahnjour, petite, yellow ahnd cute," said Fifi. Pikachu's face started to turn green from Fifi's stinky odor. Pikachu burst free, but he slipped and fell to the ground.

At that moment, Fifi was dressed up as a French painter and was painting a picture of Pikachu. "Dahn't mahve, dahrleeng. I wahnt to remembair you just ahs you ahre," said Fifi. She continued to paint the picture. Suddenly, Pikachu fled and Fifi painted the dust cloud that he left behind. "Ahw, shucks . . . you mahved! Le sigh. Boys, zey sure ahct strahnge when ahround wahmen," said Fifi, looking annoyed.

(End Music)

Pikachu ran into a carnival, hoping to lose Fifi. He saw a boat going into a tunnel and decided to hide in there. Pikachu let out a sigh of relief. "Alone at last," said Pikachu. Unfortunately, he wasn't alone. Pikachu heard Fifi humming a romantic tune to herself. He slowly turned around and saw Fifi applying fresh pink lipstick on her lips. She then put on perfume. Pikachu gasped when he saw Fifi. Fifi turned to Pikachu, with a sultry look on her face. "Glahd you could join me een ze tunnel of lahve," said Fifi, fluttering her eyelashes once again.

"TUNNEL OF LOVE?!" cried Pikachu. He screamed like a sheep as he tried to jump out of the boat and into the water to swim away. But Fifi yanked Pikachu back in by the tail. "Ziss ees a no sweemmeeng zahne. Please remain een ze boat unteel ze ride ees ovair," said Fifi. Fifi then wrapped her arms and tail around Pikachu.

"Keess me, my leettle spahrk plug!" cried Fifi. Pikachu struggled to break free of Fifi's loving grip, but it was useless. Fifi began kissing Pikachu all over, leaving kiss marks on his face as she smooched him once again. "Bleah!" cried Pikachu as he got kissed. At one point, Fifi leapt into her own tail to give herself and Pikachu privacy. The ride as well as the kissing lasted for a full ten minutes. By the time the boat arrived at the end of the tunnel, Fifi delivered one big final kiss. She uncurled her tail, revealing herself and poor Pikachu, who was covered in pink lipstick kisses from head to toe. His eyes were Xs to show the kisses combined with Fifi's horrible stink had overwhelmed him. Pikachu let out a groan. "Peekahchu? Hello? Earth to Peekahchu," said Fifi. She waved her hand in front of Pikachu before snapping her fingers. "Sahcrebleu! I've sent heem eento a keess induced cahma, no?" said Fifi sheepishly.

But at that moment, Fifi then got an idea. "Maybe eet tahkes ahnahthair keess to wahke heem up," said Fifi. Fifi puckered her lovely pink lips, ready to kiss Pikachu again. Pikachu then regained his senses and saw Fifi, with puckered lips. He burst free and ran off screaming. "Ze poor boy. He must be ze keess-o-phahbia," said Fifi. Fifi began to prance after Pikachu again. "Too bahd fahr heem, I ahm ze keess-o-hahleec," said Fifi.

Pikachu ran until he arrived to what appeared to be an abandoned night club. "Whew. Finally got away from that lovesick skunk," said Pikachu. But he spoke too soon when lights turned on part of the stage. And standing on the stage was Fifi La Fume. This time, she was wearing a sparkly pink, cocktail dress with a sweetheart neckline, a low back and a high thigh slit. She also wore white opera gloves, purple eyeshadow and pink lipstick. Pikachu couldn't help but blush at the sight of how beautiful Fifi looked, wearing the dress and makeup. "Ziss one's fahr you, Peekahchu," said Fifi. Then, the purple skunkette grabbed him by the hands and began to dance with him while singing a beautiful love song to woo him.

Where ze boys ahre

Sahmeone waits fahr me

A smeeling fahce,

a wahrm embrahce,

two pahws to hahld me tenderly

(Spoken) Ooh la la, beeg boy

Where ze boys ahre

My true lahve will be,

(Spoken) Chéri (Sigh)

He's wahlkeeng down

sahme street een town

Ahnd I know he's lookeeng zere fahr me

(Spoken) I'm ovair here! Yoo-hoo!

Een ze crowd of a meellion people

Ziss skunkette will find my vahlentine

(Spoken) Oh yes, I will ahnd zen you know whaht?

Zen I'll cleemb to ze highest steeple

Ahnd I will tell ze whahle wahrld he's mine

(Spoken) Paws off, cause he's mine. Uh-huh.

'Teel he hahlds me

I wait eempahtiently

(Spoken) Oh yes, I do.

Where ze boys ahre,

(Spoken) My crepe suzette

Where ze boys ahre

Where ze boys ahre, sahmeone waits fahr me

(Spoken) Oh yes fahr me.

'Teel he hahlds me

I wait eempahtiently

(Spoken) Hurry up, will you?

Where ze boys ahre,

(Spoken) I'm waiteeng.

Where ze boys ahre

(Spoken) Zat's where I wahnt to be.

Where ze boys ahre, sahmeone waits fahr Fifi

(Spoken) Here ees your Fifi.

I am ahm waiteeng fahr you my fahvahrite cahmahndare

My leettle crepe suzette

After singing, Fifi La Fume began to kiss Pikachu all over the face again, leaving pink kiss marks all over him. She then began to deliver a really big kiss on his lips. Pikachu finally couldn't take it anymore. "Pikaaaaaaaaaaaachuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!" screamed Pikachu as he let off a Thunder Shock attack. Fifi screamed as she was zapped silly by Pikachu's electricity. This caused her to let go of Pikachu. Pikachu began to make a run for it. Fifi's hair and fur were all spiked up from getting zapped once again. And her lips were swollen, so they looked like she had pouty lips. "I hahve felt ze spahrks of lahve," said Fifi. Her voice sounded funny due to having swollen lips. She fell to the ground, with swirls in her eyes and a silly smile on her face. Her tongue was sticking out too.

Pikachu ran as far as away as he could and he cleaned the kiss marks off of his face. "That silly skunk's going to find me sooner or later. I have to shake her off permanently!" cried Pikachu. Just then, Pikachu spotted Plucky Duck, sleeping under a tree. He also saw cans of black and white paint and finally got an idea. "I hate to do this. But desperate times call for desperate measures," said Pikachu. He got out a paintbrush to do his work.

Minutes later, Pikachu painted Plucky Duck so that he looked like a skunk. Plucky let out a yawn as he woke up. Pikachu was hiding in the tree that Plucky was napping under earlier. Fifi recovered from her shocking experience and her lips were back to normal. "Yoo hoo! Where ahre you, Peekahchu? I ahm ahlmahst finding you!" called Fifi.

(Insert "Love Theme" from Romeo & Juliet Tchaikovsky)

Just then, Fifi saw the painted Plucky and her eyes turned into pink hearts once again and her heart pounded with love. "OOH LA LA! CAHME TO FIFI!" cried Fifi excitedly as she ran toward Plucky. Plucky didn't see Fifi until she wrapped her arms around him. Fifi then began to kiss Plucky all over the face. He screamed and broke free from Fifi and began to run as fast as he could. "Boys sure like to mahke a laht of wahrk fahr me. Ahh well," said Fifi. She then began to prance after Plucky. "Whoever is responsible for this humiliation, I'll get them for this!" cried Plucky.

(End Music)

Pikachu jumped down from the tree. "Whew. Finally, it's over. I got to get out of this crazy town," said Pikachu.


I had so much fun writing this chapter as much as the previous chapter. I couldn't resist adding Fifi's version of "Where the Boys Are" in this chapter. Next chapter will go back to present time.