Chapter 5 One touch

Emily's P.O.V

I lay on my bed, a pillow covering my face.

Why did I do that?! Now I can never face him again! Why did I kiss him? That was so stupid!

But he did kiss you back, does that mean nothing to you?

Of course, it means much to me, but I'm so ashamed. He's the leader of the Greater Good, I can't just kiss my leader!

I grunted and turned onto my side. He did kiss good, though, I thought dreamily. But I can't just kiss him!

My thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door.

I held my breath, waiting for a voice to announce who they were. ''(Y/N)?'' Grindelwald asked.

I gasped softly and dashed behind the door, pressing my back against the wall.

The door creaked open and I held my breath, closing my eyes in horror. Please don't look behind the door, I thought desperately.

If he saw me hiding here, it would be even more awkward.

''Emily are you here?'' His voice sounded hopeful at first but faltered halfway through the sentence.

When the door closed I waited several seconds before daring to breathe again. I was shaking madly and was not able to walk for at least an entire minute.

I covered my face with my hands as I realized what I'd just done.

Every time he was around, I felt nervous. I could never stop thinking about him. I could never do anything without him popping into my head.

I stood up, still trembling and fell down onto my belly on the bed, my face landing on the soft pillow. ''I'm so stupid,'' I whispered, my voice muffled by the pillow.

I knew self-pity wouldn't get me anywhere, but even with that fact stowed in the back of my mind, I couldn't help it.

I shot up when I heard more knocks and the door creaked open.

I started panicking and tried to dive away, but they had already seen me.

''Emily, what are you doing?'' Queenie asked raising an eyebrow and closing the door behind her.

I looked up at her, heaved a relieved sigh and sat back down on the bed. ''Nothing,'' I said smiling at her.

''Yeah, right. I almost believe that,'' she said sitting down next to me. ''I promise, it's nothing,'' I muttered.

''Does it have anything to do with Grindelwald?'' she asked excitedly.

''No! Nothing happened alright!'' I shouted.

Queenie watched me startled. ''I-I'm sorry,'' I said quickly. I looked at my hands. They were trembling.

''I'm sorry Queenie.'' I hesitated if I should continue. ''Something did happen,'' I admitted.

She didn't tease me after my outburst but I explained everything.

''First, I want to know something. How did you know it had anything to do with Grindelwald?'' I asked suspiciously.

She shrugged. ''I saw him walking away,'' she said.

''But what happened?'' she asked seriously.

I shrugged and whispered, ''We- uhm, we-.'' It was harder to share than I had expected.

''We kissed,'' I blurted out.

When I had said it out loud it felt more official and my cheeks reddened in shame.

Queenie watched me with her mouth open. ''No you didn't!'' she said still gaping.

I looked at my hands again. ''Yes, we did,'' I muttered.

''How did he react?'' she asked, excited again.

''I- I don't know. I was gone before he had the chance to say anything,'' I explained.

''Why?'' she asked.

''I was afraid of what he'd say,'' I said softly. ''I can never see him again. It'll be too awkward,'' I said sadly.

''Alright, Emily, you're exaggerating a little bit too much now,'' she said grinning. ''Answer these questions and I'll decide if you're able to see him again. I'm the love-expert after all,'' she said proudly.

I snorted and smiled at her. ''Alright, go ahead,'' I sighed. ''But keep it proper,'' I warned.

She smirked mischievously but nodded. ''Who started the kiss?''

I already hated this.

''Do I have to answer to that?'' I asked uncomfortably. ''So you started it,'' Queenie stated. ''Am I right?" she checked quickly.

I nodded curtly hoping she hadn't noticed it, but she had.

''Alright, second question. Did he kiss you back, or did he pull away?''

This all sounded so stupid and useless to me, but at least I wasn't alone with my thoughts. ''He kissed me back,'' I muttered.

''Alright. What did he do after the kiss?'' she asked raising an eyebrow and hiding a broad smirk. I threw my pillow at her. ''How do I know? I'm not a stalker, Queenie,'' I said slightly annoyed.

''I mean when you still were in the room,'' she clarified.

I sighed and apologized, on which I received only chuckles in reply. ''It doesn't matter, I know you're ashamed of it, but it doesn't seem so bad. At least not of what you tell me,'' she assured me.

I watched her uncertain. ''Are you sure? Won't it be awkward if we have a conversation right now?'' I asked uneasily.

''Of course, it will be awkward the first few times, but just act as you'd normally do. I promise, this will be over before you know it,'' she smiled.

I didn't know why, but Queenie always seemed to know what to say to me when I was feeling miserable.

''Emily, you have to know that's because of my ability to read minds,'' she said grinning. I knew she had read my mind, but only because I let her. I was trained to keep Legilimens out of my mind.

''I'm sorry, it went automatically,'' she apologized quickly.

''Queenie, it's fine.'' I smiled. ''Thank you for your support. But I have to get to work now,'' I said.

She nodded. ''No problem. If you need me, I'm in my quarters,'' she said cheerfully.

She strode towards the door. ''Queenie, before you go! Did you receive any more letters from your sister?'' I asked quickly.

I knew it was a sensitive topic, but I had no choice. I had promised Grindelwald to keep an eye on her.

She stopped, still facing the door, but then shook her head. ''No,'' she whispered. I could hear her voice tremble and I could sense her sadness, but right now I wasn't able to comfort her.

''If you need me for anything, you can come,'' I said kindly.

She was still facing the door and nodded.

She quickly left the room, but before she disappeared I noticed a single tear on her cheek. ''I'm a monster,'' I muttered to myself.


I had started planning the rally Grindelwald had asked me to organize. It wasn't a piece of cake to organize such a big event, but that wasn't what bothered me. What was, was that I had to discuss the date, and location of the rally with Gellert Grindelwald himself, and after what happened I didn't feel like I was capable of even making eye contact with him.

I pulled a piece of parchment from between a notebook and started scribbling down that I needed more information, and considered adding something about the kiss. It was still hard to talk about it, even in a letter.

I signed it and conjured an envelope. I sighed as I watched it.

''You know, you wouldn't even have been necessary if it wasn't for my lack of self-control,'' I said to the envelope. Grindelwald actually made me go crazy? I'm talking to a piece of parchment! I thought troubled.

I quickly took it to his office and shoved it under the door, then I quickly ran back to my room. But what I forgot, was to think of the consequences this letter might bring.

The next morning I woke up to soft knocks on my door. ''Emily, are you awake?'' It was Grindelwald and he sounded slightly on edge. My heart pounded against my rib case as I recognized his voice. ''Yes,'' I said trembling slightly.

''I have to talk to you, I'm waiting for you in my office,'' he declared formally. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair and replied,

''Alright, sir.'' Then I heard his footsteps slowly fade away. I forced myself to calm down and got dressed as slowly as possible.


I hesitantly knocked on his office door. ''Enter,'' his voice sounded.

I opened the door and glanced inside. Grindelwald stood at the large window looking outside, with his back turned to the door, as small flocks of snow whirled down.

Act normal, I thought quickly before entering the room. Keep it professional, then nothing can happen, I assured myself.

Grindelwald turned around and beckoned for me to come closer. ''I received your letter,'' he said holding up the envelope.

I nodded understandingly. ''You want to talk to me about the date and location of the rally?''

He nodded slowly. ''But,'' he continued.

A but, of course, there's a but. Why is there always a but? I thought miserably, but I managed to keep a straight expression. ''I also want to talk about what happened yesterday,'' he admitted.

''I-I'm sorry,'' I whispered looking at the ground.

There was a silence, but then Grindelwald said,

''There is no need to apologize, Emily. You didn't do anything wrong, it's normal people show certain affections to others,'' he said.

I noticed he wasn't very comfortable on the subject either. ''I think it's best if we forget about it,'' he said smiling painfully.