Okay, so I got a little ahead of myself and wrote the second chapter. Thanks to redheadturkey, I was able to actually write the start of the chapter. We get some Reno action into the series!

Keith: Reno's a good kid, has a good head on his shoulders.
Liulfr: I enjoy him, Reno is basically comedy in a nutshell.

Keith's profile is going to be at the end, I rather give you the chapter first.

Keith: LiulfrLokison of course does not own any characters you recognize, but if she did I'm pretty sure she would have put me into the franchise.

Chapter 2: Hell Hath No Fury Like A Pissed Off Janitor

-o0o-

Reno had been both saddened and glad that he had been on that mission in Junon.

As fun as it would have been to watch the chaos that had ensued during Zack's jelly prank, it would have been terrifying to be in Keith's presence.

"He dyed all of my clothes, all of them! How do you even dye black clothes that colour?"

Oh yes, back to the culprit in hand.

"Look Zack, when it comes to Keith, no one questions how he does stuff. He's just that awesome."

Zack pouted at this, clearly he hadn't been around Keith enough to understand that the guy defied logic.

For some reason Zack gave a startled gasp, eyes widening and he actually jumped over the couch to hide behind it. Wondering what on Gaia could have spooked the normally bubbly teen, the red headed Turk glanced over his shoulder, to find himself looking up at a pair of bright blue eyes framed by ash blonde hair, and a smile on their face.

"Why thank you Reno, it's nice to know I'm appreciated." Keith gave him a toothy grin, hands tucked into the pockets of his blue janitorial uniform. "Hey Boss, I think you've managed to terrify Zack at the mere sight of you. That's a feat in itself." Reno couldn't help but smile back, Keith was a pretty cool guy once you got to know him (unless you pissed him off before you even met him, then it was hard to earn the man's friendship).

"He incurred my wrath, I'm surprised he didn't faint. The last guy who pissed me off that bad still faints every time he sees me, and it's been half a year already." Oh right, that had been one of the budgeting department's group leaders, Connors. The guy was a complete asshole to everyone under him, especially the janitors who he thought was the lowest of the low.

Connors had been harassing the janitors on his floor to the point that those janitors had gone to Keith to complain. Keith was basically the mother hen to the janitors, and if someone messed with his people, then may the Goddess have mercy on your soul if you are the one he is coming for.

What made it worse for Connors was when Keith had come down to give him what he deserved, the man had purposely dropped a broken ink cartridge from a printer onto the carpet, right in Keith's presence. Now Keith hadn't been pissed about the ink that had gotten splattered on his uniform, but at the fact Connors had stained the carpet that had just been installed since the man had been whining about the tiled floor so much, that they decided to get the carpet installed just to shut him up.

No one dared to speak of what happened that day, the few witnesses still shuddered at the mere mention of 'The Ink Spill'.

"Well, I've got to clean up another coffee spill on the 10th floor, Kristine's promised cake, I'll save you some." Keith gave Reno a casual pat on the head before heading towards the elevators, humming a tune as he strode off with a skip in his step.

Clearly he was enjoying Zack's terror at his presence.

It took a few minutes after Keith had left before Zack crept out from behind the couch, a curious expression on his face as he sat back down next to Reno.

"How are you two friends? You make pranks as much as I do. Wouldn't that piss him off?" Reno did make pranks much like Zack's, but not as often since he had the occasional mission that took him out of the city. "We actually used to be at each other's throats, believe it or not." Reno commented, enjoying the absolute shock that blossomed on Zack's face, who was clearly astounded at that information.

"You've heard the rumours about the Month Long War, right?"

Zack nodded vigorously, it was a legend among the Shinra staff, only a select number of people knew the truth behind it and had very little details about what had occurred.

"It happened five years ago . . ."

Reno hadn't meant to start a war. It just sort of, happened.

There was an unspoken rule around Shinra that everyone was aware of.

No one, but a janitor, could enter a janitor's closet.

There had been many incidences were some of the various staff throughout Shinra raided the closets for a mixture of reasons. The worst reason was the few drug addicts who stole some of the cleaning supplies as a substitute for drugs that they could no longer afford.

Once Keith was appointed as head janitor in his third year of working for Shinra, he petitioned the President for the janitor closet's to have both key and card locks in order to keep employees that should not be in there, out. After a whole week of discussion, the President had been convinced and had all janitor closets fitted with a new card key locks and the janitors were issued card keys. It hadn't taken a huge chunk out of the custodian budget, as Keith had found a cheap business to do the locks for them (they had cheap prices but excellent locks).

Since then, everyone knew about that rule.

All except for Reno, who was recruited by the Turks five years later.

After one year of training, Reno had been promoted from probationary Turk to a Junior Turk.

He had just come back from a mission with his senior partner Rude, (It would take him some time to get used to the silent, sunglasses – wearing bald Turk) and he was due to report back to Tseng, the Turk Director's Second in Command.

Except he had a problem, there was a blood stain on his white shirt and Tseng barely tolerated the way he was wearing the uniform already. To turn up to report with a blood stain on his already sloppy uniform, he didn't want to know what the older man might do to him.

Living in the slums had taught him there were a variety of ways to get blood stains out of clothing, and he had an hour before he was due to report allocated to recovery time (Tseng wasn't that cruel to make him report straight away). The janitor's closet would certainly have spray bottles and hydrogen peroxide, one of the female Turks had a hair dryer in her desk that he could probably borrow.

Picking the lock on the janitor's closet was easy, and the card key lock was a breeze (Reno was very good with electronics), so he got to work.

Twenty minutes later his shirt was stain free but damp from the hydrogen peroxide solution. He had placed all the tools he used back perfectly, but on his way out he had accidentally knocked a bucket with his foot. He was so focused on getting his shirt dry that he missed it, and that would come back to haunt him days later.

You see, the janitor assigned to the Turk floor was none other than David O'Neil, and he was completely OCD about how his closet was arranged.

So when he next came into his closet to clean up yet again another coffee spill (whenever the Turks got rowdy someone's coffee cup got knocked over), he could easily tell someone had gone into his closet and used his supplies.

Keith was notified of this incident immediately, and that had sparked the war between the Janitors and the Turks.

The following month had been hell for the Turks.

The janitors refused to do anything on the Turks floor, the bathrooms reeked, half the lights were either broken or flickering, the printers were always empty of either ink or paper (and they couldn't use the other floors printers as the information was too delicate for the eyes of other departments).

The Turks somehow plowed through the problem, some buying scented sprays to ignore the stench of the bathrooms, they kept a supply of printer paper and ink locked in a safe, and they replaced the lights themselves.

The janitors raised the bar higher when they messed with the computer and printer software, a few of the janitors were tech orientated, and the ones that mostly repaired the appliances in break rooms.

The Turks managed to combat this with the few Turks in the department that were hackers, repairing the software after hours of going through codes and numbers (the janitors had done a number on the electronics).

But the absolute breaking point was when the janitors messed with the Turks coffee.

The Turks required a much different coffee than the normal office worker, they imported a special brand of coffee that had enough caffeine in it that a normal person would probably get heart burn from a single sip.

So when the janitors replaced their special coffee with the worst tasting, most decaffeinated coffee they could find in all of Midgar, the gloves were off.

The Turks had actually been very close to drawing their guns on the janitors, when the President stepped in.

None of the Turks had actually thought to ask the janitors why they had started the war in the first place, they had all been busy trying to solve the problems the janitors caused. Once the issue was addressed, the security tapes had been reviewed and they found out Reno had been the source of the problem.

Now the culprit in question had been out in Junon as a follow up of his previous mission when there had been more evidence revealed. So the moment Reno stepped back into the Tower, he had been thrown to the wolves.

The Junior Turk had suffered two whole months of working under the janitors, but by the time the first month had rolled past, he found himself learning more information than he could from them than the Turks (the janitors were better at eavesdropping than the Turks). The second month he worked under Keith, and gained a new friend who was perfectly fine with turning a blind eye to some of Reno's pranks as long as he was informed about them beforehand.

From that day on, every single janitor closet had printed on the door that no one, but a janitor, was allowed inside.

"So that's why that rule is up there. I've always wondered about that." Zack had been smiling all the way through the story, clearly enjoying it but knew that he should never cross the janitors again.

"Basically no one but a janitor is allowed in a janitors closet, or hellfire will rain down upon the building. That is a direct quote from Keith himself." Reno couldn't help but grin as he said this, there had been several attempts to break into janitor's closets, the source of which being dares between the SOLDIER cadets. Those few had been punished severely and threatened with expulsion from the course, mostly by the Turks as they all knew the horrors of having the janitor's ire focused on them.

"So Keith is perfectly okay with you pulling pranks around the building? What about the others?" Because, in a Tower built just over 60 floors high, there couldn't be only two pranksters in the building.

"They talk to Keith. It's an arrangement between us all. He calls it the Prank Network. I usually go to him with requests, and get paid a fee. Sometimes for favours, sometimes for gil. It's more of a business arrangement really." And it paid off well too, he had several favours from other Turks as well as some SOLDIER's (whose names will not be mentioned), and any gil he earned mostly went to weapon maintenance. The best thing he had ever gained from the arrangement was several bottles of whiskey from a SOLDIER cadet whose parents owned a brewery.

But of course he shared the spoils with Keith, the man sometimes got his janitors involved, who would happily open doors as long as they got to see some stuck up suit get their just desserts. Most pranks were revenge against higher – ups who got too big for their breeches.

Keith very rarely participated in the pranks himself, but when he did, he showed no mercy on the victim.

"How come I haven't heard about this? If you've got a whole network, surely someone must have noticed." Now that, was something that Keith had thought about thoroughly, he didn't want to have more eyes on him than he already did. "If someone finds out, and they rarely do, we offer them a heads up when a prank near their floor or department is going to happen so they don't get caught in the crossfire. It's a very efficient system." So far they had ten people who knew about the network that wasn't a prankster themselves, although they did sometimes ask for a prank on colleagues that they hated. Just because they weren't directly involved didn't mean they couldn't become an asset.

"Huh, that's actually rather good. Can I join?"

Actually, Reno had been tempted to bring up that specific matter with Keith, but every time that he wanted to talk about it, Zack had pulled off a large prank on Keith's day off. That, would not help the Puppy SOLDIER's case at all.

"Zack, it will take a miracle for you to be accepted into the Network. You have no idea how much you've pissed Keith off." Reno couldn't help but shake his head, it would take a ton of bribes and apologies for Zack to even get Keith to think about letting him in. "What did I do to piss him off that much?" Keith very rarely used a person's fears to get revenge, that was a well known fact among the SHINRA employees.

"You pulled large scale pranks on his day off, all in a row in four months. Especially this month, he had to call janitors who weren't even on duty that day. If you don't pull off any large pranks for a couple of months, he might cool down enough for me to ask him. So please, stick to small stuff for a while."

Zack looked a little upset at this, he enjoyed pranks that had a big effect, but if he wanted to join the Network, he would have to down size them.

"Alright, I'll try."

It would be very interesting to see what Zack could bring to the Prank Network.

-o0o-

A/N: I felt like I didn't fully achieve what redheadturkey wanted, so the next chapter (which I am going to start soon) is going to focus on Junior Reno!

Keith Kogane
Height: 6'5
Hair colour: Ash Blonde
Eye colour: Blue
Age: 35

I based Keith's appearance off Keith from Voltron Legendary Defenders (the redone version on Netflix). Basically imagine that Keith with ash blonde hair and blue eyes, his hair is basically the same, but he has a small ponytail on the left side (just because I have a thing about long hair).

I'll be giving out more little snippets about Keith in other chapters, if you want to know more about his back story!

Hope you enjoyed, and if you have any ideas about a chapter you want to see, please let me know and I'll see what I can do!

LiulfrLokison out! :3