So, a lovely person on AO3 by the name of Toyu gave me this prompt (wasn't really a prompt but a comment they made) and so this chapter was spawned. Keith enjoyed himself and I enjoyed writing it too. I got to introduce some new characters! (Sort of . . .)

Keith: Well, yes, although I must say they have their charms . . .
Liulfr: Okay, okay, let's get started.
Keith: Alright, LiulfrLokison does not own any of the characters you recognise, besides me and the new characters she shall introduce in this chapter and future chapters.

Prompt: Wait... So Keith is Reno's actual father or are they calling each other affectionate nicknames? Nevermind, I'm certain all will be revealed in further, equally shinanangin and funny filled chapters. Edit: and then I realize there are no more chapters...

Chapter Summary:

Apparently Keith has a lot of kids . . .

Chapter were Keith is the unofficial Dad of the SHINRA Tower.

-o0o-

Chapter 4: Nicknames Cause A Lot Of Confusion

-o0o-

It was a normal day for the employees of SHINRA.

The sky was grey, secretaries were typing away (totally not spying for the fan clubs), Turks were doing what Turks did, and everyone was craving a good cup of coffee.

Yes, everything was the way it should be . . .

Except it wasn't.

One adorable and completely bewildered Zack Fair was attempting to understand the situation unfolding before him.

For he had stumbled upon Reno, but instead of the red headed Turk being accompanied by his sunglasses wearing partner (because Rude was one of the few people who could reign the older boy in), his pranking buddy was clinging to a certain janitor and there was a whine in his voice.

"C'mon Dad, I even got Tseng to clear up the training room for you! I wanna test out my moves!" Reno had literally climbed onto Keith's back, wrapping his limbs around the man's torso like an octopus as the janitor strolled down the hallway, a toolbox in his hand.

"I told you brat, I need to fix up some busted wires in the VR room, the SOLDIER's are going to throw a fit if it's not repaired." The extra weight on Keith's back didn't even deter the man, it was like Reno wasn't even a burden, it was much like a son trying to plead with his father . . .

"Reno? Did you call Keith, Dad?"

Zack's voice made the two look up at him, both a little surprised to see him standing there but didn't give him an immediate reply.

Reno looked at Keith, who merely blinked and shrugged his shoulders. "I don't care, tell him what you want. I've got some angry SOLDIER's to placate." Keith easily plucked Reno off his back, setting the shorter boy onto his feet before continuing on down the hallway, completely nonchalant in leaving Reno to explain things.

Reno sighed but spun on his heel to face Zack, crossing his arms over his chest. "Yeah, I call him Dad. 'Cause that's what he is to me."

With that, he left Zack even more confused, dashing down the hallway screeching for Keith to wait up, yet again jumping onto the janitors back like an over eager child. Keith merely adjusted to the extra weight, reaching up and ruffling Reno's hair in an affectionate manner.

How could Keith be Reno's father? The guy didn't even look like he was in his late twenties!

Pondering this new mystery, Zack set off to find Angeal.

He needed a little stability after the shock of finding out Reno's dad was Keith.

How could someone as terrifying as Keith, have been a factor in the birth of someone as fun and spastic as Reno? It just didn't make any sense!

-o0o-

A week later and Zack was still reeling from the revelation of Keith being Reno's dad, but now he was even more confused.

He had been wandering through the Tower (because he had nothing to do while Angeal was off in the Northern Continent), and had somehow come across the PR department. Zack didn't even know they had a PR department . . .

When he caught sight of Keith through the glass doors of one of the offices, he immediately hid behind the nearest thing he could find, which happened to be a vending machine. (Zack had a theory that SHINRA got most profits from the vending machines throughout the tower, there was at least five on each floor!) Now, while some people would think Zack was stupid to hide from Keith even though it had been four months after the Jelly Prank Incident, Zack had finally learned some self preservation and avoided being in the same room as Keith without Reno or someone that knew how to prevent the janitor from giving him the glare of death.

Keith was still pretty pissed about missing his days off.

Peeking around the vending machine, Zack could see and hear (Goddess bless SOLDIER hearing) the conversation between Keith and a short light brown haired woman, who had red and gold streaks throughout her shoulder length hair. She barely reached the man's shoulder, a bright smile on her face as she chatted away about ideas for the next article SHINRA would be printing. Keith wore a smile that Zack could only define as 'maternal', patting the hazel eyed woman on the head before saying that he should get back to work.

At this, the woman immediately hugged Keith and grinned as she looked up at him, the janitor looked resigned to his face as he returned the embrace, muttering about clingy children.

"Have fun with work Pops."

Zack almost choked at this, dropping to his knees and tried to make himself as small as possible behind the vending machine, waiting until Keith had left the floor before letting out a deep breath.

So Keith had two kids? And that woman seemed as spastic as Reno, so he could somewhat see the resemblance . . .

"Why is this so complicating?" Zack whined before resting his head on his knees, he was certainly as curious as a puppy, and he needed to find out the truth.

But how to do so while avoiding being in Keith's presence?

It seemed like he had an investigation to begin.

-o0o-

After a whole month of investigating between training and missions, Zack had never been so baffled in his life.

It wasn't just Reno and that PR lady that called Keith their dad, he had encountered a Turk named Janus who referred to Keith as 'Pa', Susan Lance (a secretary on the tenth floor) called the janitor 'Pappy', there were at least eight janitors who called the man 'Father', as well as a couple of science interns he heard calling Keith as their 'old man'.

But when Zack heard Cloud, his sweet, adorable little chocobo trooper, call the man 'Baba' . . .

He flipped his shit.

And that was the reason why he had cornered Reno the next moment he saw the Turk, not at all scared of the fact that Keith was also in the room, watching with a curious expression.

"Reno, how many kids does your Dad have?"

At this, Reno looked at Zack like he was insane.

"Zack . . . what are you talking about?" Reno hesitantly reached out to grasp Zack's shoulder, eyes wide with disbelief and Keith was snickering in the background.

"I've heard another Turk basically call him Dad. There's a PR lady, a secretary, a couple of janitors, science interns, and even Spike! How can one guy have that many kids?! He's not even thirty! Explain to me please before my brain explodes!" Zack pleaded, grasping Reno's hands like he was praying to the very Goddess herself, sinking to his knees onto the carpet.

Reno stared down at him with an absolutely blank stare, but something seemed to click and his eyes brightened.

By now, Keith's snickering had become gut – wrenching laughter, Zack could hear the janitor muffling his laughter into a couch cushion.

"Zack, did I actually confirm that Keith is my biological dad?"

-o0o-

Reno was a little frightened now but mostly bemused, Zack's face was completely blank and he could have sworn he heard something break inside the younger teen. He wouldn't be surprised if smoke came out of Zack's ears, it was like the Puppy's brain had gone kaput.

has crashed.

Would you like to reboot?

Yes No

Reno would like to hit the yes button right now, he had never seen the spiky haired teen this still and silent before. It was unnerving.

Keith wasn't helping at all, the ash blonde man was literally crying with mirth, having curled over onto himself and burying his laughter into the cushions of a couch in the break room. He had never seen the man laugh so much before, even if it was muffled.

Zack's simple misunderstanding had escalated so much that it baffled him, he was aware that other employees in SHINRA's payroll saw Keith as a father figure, the man practically oozed with maternal instinct. None of them minded sharing him either, Keith enjoyed babying them even though they weren't actually his flesh and blood, although there was the matter of Charles Parkinson in the PR department who called Keith 'Daddy'.

Keith somehow always managed to wheedle his way out of the gay photographer's grasp, so it was rare for the janitor to stop by the PR department without being practically assaulted by Charles.

"Zack, talk to me buddy. You're freaking me out." Reno muttered, slapping Zack lightly on a cheek a few times until some form of clarity returned to the younger boy's eyes.

It took them a few minutes and some cups of hot chocolate before Zack was back to his usual self, once having the situation fully explained to him. Keith just sat opposite them with a grin on his face as he sipped his own drink (he certainly was enjoying this), flicking through his PHS to check if he had received any new messages.

"I think I see now, why people call him their dad. He sort of gives off that kind of air." Zack murmured as his slowly sipped from his mug (although he had been hesitant with the first cup because Keith had made it), and Reno couldn't help but grin. "I know, right? And he's great with hand to hand combat. Veld's been trying to persuade the President to let us have Keith as a Turk, but President Shinra really wants Keith to stay the head janitor. Tseng found an alternative so Veld pays Keith to help out with some Turk practice instead."

It had been working out quite well, everyone was improving on their weaknesses and learning new moves from Keith, but it was very hard for the head janitor to find time to drop by and help them practice. Only Janus and Reno called Keith with their preferred tiles in the public eye, but all the Turks that were younger than the janitor called him the 'old man', some people were certain it was just another code name among the department.

"Really?" Zack was interested now, Angeal was a great mentor and all, but tried to focus Zack more on swordsmanship as the first time they tried hand to hand combat, it had been a complete disaster. Those lessons were rare now, Angeal always had to seek refuge for a few hours in Genesis' apartment after those sessions . . .

Reno was well aware of this too, Zack often whined about it after every lesson, he hated upsetting Angeal.

"I could be tempted to help you, for a price." Keith's voice was light but full of amusement, a smirk spreading across the older man's face.

Zack practically slammed his hands onto the coffee table in front of him, leaning forward and staring straight into Keith's eyes with determination.

"Name it."

-o0o-

On his return to Midgar from a tedious and long mission, Angeal was expecting to hear complaints from his co – workers about another of Zack's pranks, but was surprised to hear there were none.

It didn't take him long to find his student though, the teen was on the SOLDIER floor chatting away with some other SOLDIER's in the break room. Genesis was also there for some reason, sipping on a cup of Banora White tea no doubt (his friend certainly had an obsession with the apples), by the windows.

Reno was lurking in the corner, flicking through something on his PHS while drinking a can of grape soda (how the Turk got that in the building was anyone's guess).

Usually Zack would always know whenever Angeal entered a room, much like when a dog senses its owner. However, this time Zack showed no recognition that Angeal was standing in the same room as him.

"Zack?" Even calling his name had no reaction, Zack just continued on chatting even though the two SOLDIER's he was talking to weren't looking at him anymore.

Sighing, Angeal reached out and placed a hand on Zack's shoulder, prepared to even give the boy a small shove to get his attention (he still had to go over more hand to hand training sessions with him, despite how much of a nightmare it would be).

"Za – ACCK!"

There was silence throughout the entire room, all eyes were on him and Zack, (although he heard Genesis spluttering in his chair).

How did he end up on the floor?

-o0o-

Genesis was absolutely astounded.

Like anyone else around the building, they all knew how inattentive the Puppy could be, but even he was confused when Zack didn't respond to Angeal arriving in the room.

However, the moment Angeal's hand touched the boy's shoulder, there had been a flurry of action.

Before anyone could blink, two hands grasped Angeal's forearm, wrenching the older man up and over, slamming him to the ground on his back.

Genesis promptly choked on his tea, almost spewing the sweet beverage on the table and he hastily dabbed his mouth dry with a napkin. No one had seemed to notice his little spit take, but everyone was focused on the absolutely gob smacked expression on Angeal's face as he stared up at Zack from where he was currently lying on the floor.

He was sure he heard the shutter click of a camera, but was more focused on his friend who was trying to rationalise what had just happened.

"Zack, have you been training while I was away?"

Angeal rasped out, the wind must have been knocked out of him, Zack had thrown him to the ground pretty hard.

"Uh, yeah! Dad taught me a few moves. Sorry about that Angeal, he sometimes ambushes me to make sure the lessons sink in."

Angeal struggled to even just speak, it was like someone had crawled into his head and unplugged the cord connecting his brain to his body.

"Well . . . I'm gonna go."

Zack scampered out of the door, Reno following him with lanky strides and still staring at the PHS in his hands. Genesis finally made himself look presentable and strode over to help Angeal to his feet. "Feeling better?" Angeal just looked up at him with an expression that he would expect from a small child finding out, that yes, they could have another cookie.

"How, when, did he – "

Angeal's ramblings however, were cut short when they heard Zack yelp from the corridor, turning around just in time to see the boy go flying past the door as if he had been thrown, a cackling Reno running after him while taping it on his PHS.

"Ah, it's eight to none now." One of the 2nd Class SOLDIER's commented, as they rushed out into the hallway, grins on their faces as they heard Zack's screaming from the elevators.

Angeal and Genesis saw a blonde and blue streak race pass the doorway, and Zack's incoherent screams suddenly became perfectly clear to their ears.

"DAD! GIVE ME A BREAK!" A loud shriek and a crash signalled the end of the bout, a grinning Keith standing victoriously over the downed Puppy.

And now it all made sense.

-o0o-

Unbeknownst to the two 1st Class SOLDIER's, Keith was now the proud owner of two pictures.

One spectacular one of Genesis doing a spit take, and the other of Angeal's dumbfounded expression.

Ah yes, more for the scrapbook.

-o0o-

A/N: Alright, I hope you enjoyed! Got a prompt, let me know and I'll see what I can do! This series is really got me hooked on writing the going ons of the SHINRA Tower, and I am enjoying it.

LiulfrLokison out! :3