I Don't Own Pokemon


It was about two weeks into my travel to get to Fuchsia, when the first problem came up since I left Saffron. I was almost hit by a truck, on a bloody walking trail. Giving my natural reaction by flipping the driver off, I then had to proceed to jump out of the way of about eight more drove past me, which were a couple yards away behind the first one.

Glaring at them all, I stood back up from the bush I had to jumped into. Looking over at where the cars were heading, I was tempted for a second to go and get some kind of revenge but I either wouldn't catch up or it would take so long that it wouldn't be worth it. Shaking my head in annoyance I turned away from the distancing cars and was about to walk away when I heard a bunch of crashing.

Looking back at the path I frowned as a massive pile up seemed to happen in the two seconds I wasn't paying attention. I'll be honest I was sorely tempted to just leave them to suffer but after a few seconds I began to make my way over. Might as well see what the problem was, and if I'm lucky enough I can chew some people out, from nearly hitting me.

Of course once I got close enough and saw that some familiar faces, talking to who I assume to be the one in charge, I did think about turning back around. Sadly for me, Brock seemed to notice I was nearby while Ash was looking at whatever the man in front of him was holding, it looked like a few papers and a small thing of cash.

"Oh Kyu? Where you called to deal with the Diglett in the area?" I tilted my head to the side in confusion when he mentioned the Diglett, I wasn't sure or not if I remember an episode about Diglett, at least if I did then I forgot about it. So I shook my head and told him.

"Diglett? Is that what happened to the trucks? No, I was just passing through when these trucks went by, wasn't long after before they all crashed. I'm only here because I wondered what caused the pile-up" He nodded and was about to ask something else when I heard a tire screech to a stop.

Looking over my shoulder, I noted that even more cars had appeared, which was beginning to annoyed me, considering there wasn't a road nearby for at two miles, that wasn't very specificity called a walking path. And if that wasn't enough the car in the front was being driven by a bloody kid. That wasn't even talking about what he said when he got out of the car.

"Have no fear, I, Gary Oak from Pallet, the greatest trainer here, will deal with this problem for you" God was that pompous though it did sparked some kind of memory but this wasn't about fossils so I still didn't know what episode I was being dragged into. Whatever, I had a kid's ego to destroy anyway.

"Really? A kid is the greatest one out of all of you? Damn, this company must be cheap, if this is the best they could get" He turned away from the stupid pose he got into before looking at me and glared.

"Oh really, and who are you suppose to be?" I raised an eyebrow at that before saying.

"I'm Kyu, I'm from Unova, and I am easily three times the trainer than you are" He glare just turned more serve, not like it was saying much. Before smirking like he thought he was above me, somehow.

"Oh, your from the boonies then, please like you could ever be half the trainer I could be" Boonies? Really? And people thought this guy was smart? I gave him a disbelieving look before asking.

"Just making sure. You do know that Unova is currently the most advanced region in the world only maybe tying with Kalos, while Kanto is near the bottom of the list with only Johto being lower because of how traditional it is?" I probably shouldn't have said it, considering that everyone around me was Kantion. Still I didn't care as the angry look on Gary was more than worth it.

"Whatever, I'll prove how great I am by dealing with these Diglett" I gave him a smile that infuriated him even more, as he dropped back into the car and drove off. Dropping it once he was gone, I looked back at the three who seemed to appear while I was talking. Ash seemed to look at me in something similar to amazement.

"He said he's from Pallet as well right. It must have been annoying growing up with that as a neighbor" That snapped the three of them out of whatever they were thinking as Ash spoke up quickly after that.

"I can't believe you managed to beat Gary so easily" Honesty no faith. I just gave him a shrug while also noting Misdreavus, the only Pokemon I had out currently, seemed to be enjoying me messing with the kid, if the twitching in my shadow was anything to go by.

"It wasn't that hard, kid's like you lot are easy to windup" I was then proven correct in my statement as Ash yelled at me for calling him a kid. I gave him a look telling him he was proving me right, which he didn't get, but the other two did, looking properly embarrassed for him. Misdreavus was just having a great time.

"Anyway, I'm bored now. So I'm going to go help see if I can sort this out" And with that I began to make my way over towards where a bunch of people were being to crowd around. Ignoring that, I looked around the clearing, while the three around me made their way over to the other humans. Looking down at my shadow I asked.

"Hey, Misdreavus, would you mind looking around and help bring a diglett to me, without shadow kidnapping it, I want to ask them why they're rampaging around" She floated out of my shadow and gave a nod, although she did seem to be a little sad she couldn't use her shadows to annoy whatever Diglett she found, which was why I made sure to mention it.

"Don't worry Captain! I'll find one lickily-split" And with that, she dove into the ground and started looking threw the earth to find me a diglett. I hope she doesn't get lost, it wouldn't be to bad but she can't really see down there. I know unless she somehow gets upside-down, she could just float straight up, but I wouldn't put it past her to somehow manage that.

She already about three days ago made it a challenge for herself to be upside-down for a full day, for no other reason than that she thought it'd be fun. Thankfully after about three minutes, Misdreavus floated up from the ground and a few seconds later, a diglett popped up as well. The small one looked at me for a second before asking.

"The Ghost wanted one of us to talk to you. What do ya want?" I gave a grateful smile to Misdreavus who looked content to soak up the praise, before looking down at Diglett and told her in pokespeech.

"Just helping out everyone involved, I figured if I wanted to find out what the problem is I should ask. So here I am asking, why are you lot trying to stop this dam, that the humans are making" I held my laughter at Diglett's eyes going wide at the language of my choice, while Misdreavus didn't try at all. After a second I was told.

"Because if the humans do complete that dam of theirs then the water will flood around the mountains, and we, along with many others live there" I frowned at that, isn't that incredibly illegal. Giving a nod to the Diglett, I stood up and spoke out to both Misdreavus and the Diglett.

"Well nothing to do but to stop the construction then. Would you mind bringing me towards the foreman?" I got a nod from Misdreavus and before Diglett could say anything else I fell into my shadow.

Coming up directly in front of the foreman, and by directly in front, I mean less than a inch away. Giving Misdreavus a look, I took a step backwards before telling the foreman.

"So how long have you been planning the deaths of thousands of Pokemon?" So I might have been a little annoyed by these idiots idea about where to build a dam. He just looked at me in shock for a second before asking.

"What are you talking about, I would never kill any Pokemon, even now I'm still trying to just run off those infuriating diglett" I just raised an eyebrow, that told him he was a idiot, before saying.

"You're making a bloody dam, you nitwit, that water has to go somewhere. In this particular hypothetical, all those billions of tons and tons of gallons of water would be heading to the forests, which happen to have thousands of Pokemon living there. So I'll ask once more, how long have you been planning the deaths of thousands, or are you just incompetent?"

He seemed shocked by what I just said, before turning and running into a small side building. About half a minute later he ran out with a map while furiously looking over it compared to some blueprints. After about another minute, he seemed almost ready to cry before his shoulder dropped before muttering to himself.

"The dam will have to stop being worked on" And with that I solved a mass murder in an afternoon, not bad. A moment later the three main characters walked up, before Ash asked me.

"How did you know about the dam?" I looked over at him for a second in deliberation before coming to a conclusion, after all it's not like it'll be a secret for much longer anyway.

"I found a diglett and asked, it isn't that hard" Ash and Misty seemed a little confused but Brock was the one that really caught onto the implications of what I just said.

"But how did you know that's what the diglett were trying to tell you" That seemed to make the other two realize what they were missing, before long all three were giving me a questioning look.

"Because I can speak Pokemon...Has this not come up yet?" It was fun looking at them all look back at me with clear disbelieving, at least that was before Pikachu nodded from his position on Ash's shoulder, telling them all that he was agreeing with me. After a second Ash pointed at me and asked.

"But how! How can a human learn to understand Pokemon?" I tilted my head to the side and gave them all look like it was obvious before saying with a nonchalant tone.

"By not being a human, you guys are aware that I'm a Pokemon right. I mean it must have come up at some point" It's fun making it seem like their the ones that are idiots. Misdreavus clearly agreed if her normal giggles, turning into full blown laughter was anything to go by. Well it was until Brock ruined it.

"Eh, Kyu...By chance have you heard of a mental disease called Pokemonitis" So they thought I was crazy, that's not exactly what I was going for, well at least Misdreavus is having a great time, if her now very audible laughter was anything to go off of. I just gave them all a very clear roll of the eyes before turning and walking away.

After a second, Misdreavus seemed to realize I wasn't there anymore, and didn't like that I didn't tell her I was leaving, as I fell into my shadow. Shaking my head to myself to clear up my thoughts, I soon found out I was in a tree about thirty feet up, and about maybe sixty yards away from where I started, at least she was getting better at distance.


Quick and simple chapter about the Diglett episode, nothing to crazy happened expect Kyu telling the original cast about not being human, to which they call him a crazy person. Anyway See ya