Rebirth of a Holy Dragoon
Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy. OCs belong to various friends. I think you know the drill by now.
Notes: *the notes are all in Japanese*
Warnings: You don't remember the list of warnings I gave before? Fine. Here. Cursing, potential OOC, OC x Canon, stupid fluffy romance, sex, angst, self-insert author avatar, shitty storytelling.
FIC START!
Chapter Forty-six
Canti and Kain waited for their fathers to stop having their loud discussion in the other room. She slumped against the wall uncomfortably, until Kain insisted that she slump against him and be comfortable instead. She laid her head on his shoulder and the two of them took up that entire bench by themselves.
All of the Warriors of the Water were scrambling around to get things answered, paperwork filed, and all other sorts of administrative duties. It wasn't as boring as sitting in a room of nothing but military cots, but watching them go back and forth was pretty damn boring. Some guys they'd seen before, other guys they hadn't. There wasn't much interesting in watching a whole bunch of people in the same uniform freak out about making such things were taken care of the way they were supposed to be.
"You sure you want to do this when you grow up?" Canti asked as she kept watching all the frantic activity in front of them.
Kain had one of his hands nestled in her curly blue hair, rubbing her scalp delicately. He knew it was a sensation she loved. Not because he'd seen someone do it, but because he'd seen it in a dream, and he wanted to test it out. The dream was right, as she'd never been that relaxed before. At least, not when things like this were going on. Usually, she'd have more anxiety in her system just by being around that much activity. "Are you kidding? Of course I want to hold you when I grow up."
"...that's not what I was…" she nuzzled against him. "Oh never mind."
It took Kain a minute, but he was completely distracted by how close Canti was to him, and about the fact that someone could see them being this close but it didn't seem like she gave two tugs of a rat's tail about it. "You were asking about being the Grand Dragoon."
"Yep."
"Like Father said. I didn't decide to be the Grand Dragoon. The tests have shown that it is what I am most suited for," he answered her softly. "We are all being trained to be what our potential is the highest for. You know that."
"I do know that," she replied. "But why is it that I was never given a place in society to train for?"
"Are you afraid that you don't know what you're supposed to do, like everyone else?"
Canti shook her head. "I'm not afraid of not having a place in our country, because I know that I'm destined to leave it. I just want to know why I wasn't included."
"Didn't you just say that you're destined to leave? Well that would be a reason why you weren't given a place. The tests know us better than we know ourselves. We don't know what we want. Humans can never make a decision. That's what Leviathan said, anyway," Kain said, continuing to massage her scalp.
"But… if that's the case, what would be the use of… this?" Canti asked, leaning into him even more. Dear Cosmos, she loved that sensation so much.
"This?"
"...the feelings we've developed for each other," she said. "The fact that I can't help wanting to be closer to you. In a world where everything is decided by those tests-"
"Father and Mother were not arranged to marry by some outside party. That isn't something the tests decide."
"Then it is possible for humans to make decisions. And for those decisions to matter," Canti insisted. "The one you marry, or if you decide not to marry the way Papa Cid has, is as important as the career we train to be ready for, isn't it?"
"Canti… I'm not sure I follow where you're going with all of this…"
She pulled away from him so she could look directly into his eyes as she was speaking. "We can make decisions regardless of what those tests tell us that we're supposed to be doing," she declared. Even though there were people all around that could easily hear what she was saying, she didn't care if they did. "If we can decide who to, or not to, marry, then there has to be more that we can do for ourselves without the tests. Who cares what the tests say?"
"I can see why you'd think that simply because yours was blank, but not everyone else has it that lucky," Kain said, staring right back at her. "I was given a high ranking position, one of the highest ranking available positions in our country and my entire family expects me to not just be ready for it the moment it becomes available, but to succeed in living up to the legacy of the Highwind family. You don't have that kind of pressure on you! You're lucky to be able to make decisions about your future! You're lucky that you weren't born into a family that expects so many things of you! You're lucky you were given to a man that has literally no expectations of himself so he doesn't put the world on your shoulders!"
"You think I'm lucky because I'm treated like I'm not even a part of this world?!" Canti cried, pulling away from him entirely. "When all I've ever wanted was to belong to something?!"
When Kain tried to wrap an arm around her, she pushed him away. She put her head in her hands, and fell into a harsh sob.
"...but you do belong." He muttered. He couldn't help how bad he felt for lashing out at her like that over his own self-doubt. One of the things he treasured about her was how simple and happy she was.
"No," she said between sobs, "you said I don't!"
"I misspoke. Forgive me."
She couldn't bear to look at him. "Just…"
"I wasn't thinking. I was just lashing out at you because I'm angry at myself. Please…"
Canti turned to look at him, and as he sat there, his face was expressionless but tears streamed down his face. Kain's just stared out into nothingness, not bothering to wipe his tears away or cover the fact that he bore so much shame.
"...please forgive me."
"Kain…" She reached to wipe the tears from his face. "…you don't have to be the Grand Dragoon if you don't want to be. That's what I'm trying to tell you. If I can do literally anything, then so can you."
He blinked for a moment, as if he was turning his vision back on, and he saw that she was staring up at him. Tears still flowed down her face. "But my family, they want so much of me."
"You don't have to live up to their expectations," she said, sniffling a few times. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. Live free, cousin. Be whoever you want. Don't be the Grand Dragoon because the whole world is telling you that's who you have to be."
"I've all ready spent so much of my time training… I've been drilled about being the Grand Dragoon so much that it's all I've really ever thought about, until…" Kain smiled as he continued. "…until I realized how much I love you."
She kept wiping his face, and he reached into his pocket to hand her a little cloth so he could wipe her face in return. "Kain…" she whispered, "…when I go to leave this country… will you come with me?"
"What?"
"Leave everything behind and come with me."
He didn't want to think about it. He was tired of doing nothing but training, all for one position that he didn't really want, but that was expected of him. Kain just nodded to her. "My home is where you are."
She leaned in again, this time facing him, until the tips of their noses touched. "I don't know what's out there. But I know that I can't face it alone. I need you, Kain. I love you."
They drew much closer, ready to unite themselves as one through a kiss, when suddenly-
"Mognet, kupo! Delivery for Cantirena Highwind!"
Canti rolled her eyes. "Great timing, kupo," she grunted at it, as it was the first time she really wanted to have a kiss, taking the letter from the moogle. It was one of those official letters that came in the mail all the time back home instead of a personal letter on stationery. "Huh?" she ripped off the side of the envelope and read it, ignoring the moogle as it floated away. "…uh oh…"
"What's wrong?" Kain asked.
"This letter's from the senate," she said worriedly. She got up and walked back over to the room where the two Highwind brothers were still yelling at each other. "Papa Cid!"
Cid immediately turned to address her. "What is it, baby girl?"
She held up the letter. "I've been summoned by the senate!"
"What the hell for?" he asked, taking the letter to read it himself. "Oh. Oh I see. In that case, we all should go."
"All of us?" Richard asked. "Exactly what's going on here?"
"This says that because Leviathan is missing, they don't know what to do with the criminal, so they want Cantirena as the victim to give him the punishment she believes is best fitting," Cid explained.
Canti shook her head. "I… I don't want to go."
"Because you don't want to see him again?" Richard bent down to ruffle her hair gently. "You don't have to worry about that. I know that he's securely locked away. He can't hurt you ever again."
"I don't want to look at him… I don't want to…" she backed away from her uncle and shook her head. "Please, Uncle Richard, Papa Cid, I don't want to face him! He scares me!"
"Even with all my power, dear, I don't think I can refuse the Senate," Richard said, folding up the letter and placing it within his pocket. "I'm sorry. It looks like you have to. Even if you just walk in there and say how you want him dealt with, and leave. That's fine. But if they want you to tell them, then you're going to have to."
"But… but…"
"There's nothin' to be afraid of," Cid tried to reassure her, but it wasn't working very well.
Kain had come into the room. He noticed that Canti had backed away from them as far as she could, clinging to herself defensively. "Canti," he said, slowly making his way towards her, "Would it be easier if I went with you?"
"They probably won't let you come onto the stand with me."
"I don't care. Father says that by Leviathan's own order, I have been ordered as your personal guard!" he said loudly. "I'll tell them that if they try to send me away. No one in the senate would ever go against the Headmaster's orders, would they?"
"The boy's got a point," Cid nodded. "We may not be able to go with you, but he would be able to."
Kain took her hands in his and tried to smile at her. "I know it's scary for you. It'll be scary for me, too." While he wasn't afraid of any man, he had to say something to calm her down. "To see that kind of pervert up close, and decide what should happen to him… we'll face it together."
"Thank you, Kain…" she said, grasping around him as tightly as she could.
"Father," Kain looked over at Richard. "Should we prepare a carriage to the Senate?"
"...it's actually much easier than that. The Warriors of the Water's training facility is underneath the Administrative Building. We can walk right there," Richard replied. "Let's get these two ready, Cid."
