Disclaimer: Don't own this shit.
Notes: LOL I'm still working on this even though no one else cares. Hell I don't know if I care. But here I am anyway.
Warnings: You know the list of warnings by now.
FIC START!
Chapter Sixty-Four
Canti didn't like the glasses that sat upon the bridge of her nose. She didn't like the fact that Leviathan gave the order that once a month, her eyes would be checked. She didn't like the fact that she couldn't just go home now that she was awake, and honestly, she really didn't like the food she'd been served. It was disgusting. Hospital food was literally the worst. Well. She sniffed the fake mashed potatoes. It tasted like paper flakes drowned in solidified milk. The meat was tough, the brownie was harder than a test in Monsterology, and she just wanted to go home and eat pancakes shaped like bunnies.
"Oh, you're actually alive," Hikari said as she and Crystal walked in holding Get Well Soon cards and bundles of flowers. "Here I thought they were just bullshitting us the entire time."
"Nice to see you, too," Canti grunted. "All jokes aside, how are you?"
"Just worried as hell for you," Crystal said, shrugging. She offered Canti the flowers, and Canti took them, not really knowing what to do with them. "So. Exactly when are you gonna be able to go home?"
"We actually planned a 'you survived almost being murdered' party earlier, but we were kicked out of your family's manor because you didn't come home," Hikari said, taking a seat. "Honestly. What the actual fuck happened?"
"I made a stupid decision to go and try to avenge my uncle's murder," Canti said, shrugging. "Leviathan says they got 'im, but... who knows how true that is."
"No, he's been all over the news. They really did get him," Crystal nodded. "I'm glad. He wanted to completely overthrow the government!"
"Worse is that the whole country has been turned upside down. All the senators that sided with Palamecia were sent away," Hikari continued. "That's seventy-five percent of them, at least. I don't remember the exact number. But still. Your life's gonna be that much more messed up because both your dad and your cousin are prepping to lead the Warriors of the Water to bolster the defenses after what happened."
Canti frowned. "Guess that means I'm gonna have to do the same..." she didn't particularly like the idea of having to deal with all the military nonsense.
"You sound disappointed."
"I'll get over my disappointment. It doesn't really matter if I'm disappointed or not. Leviathan's rules are his rules, and the tests determine what classes we enroll in, every decision we make is planned out from the fucking get-go whether we like it or not," Canti snapped. "So. I'll either deal with it, or I'll end up like the senator."
"You seriously aren't identifying with the man that destroyed your life, are you?" Crystal asked, bewildered after having heard that.
"There had to be a reason why he wanted to overthrow the government."
"Yeah, because he's a fucking asshole that wanted power," Hikari said bluntly.
"If one has power, one can make changes," Canti said, shrugging. "Part of me is angry, of course. My uncle - Kain's dad - was killed, and the Highwind Legacy isn't exactly secure anymore. But I can't blame him for wanting to make changes. I don't have the power to change the world, so I can't change my situation." She sighed, looking straight up at the ceiling. "Sorry, girls. I didn't mean to bring you down with my internal thoughts of the day."
"I miss when we used to meet under the peach tree at Garden," Crystal muttered. "Before... things happened..."
"Time doesn't go backward," Canti said. "We're stuck where we are."
"I don't think that's entirely true," Hikari thought aloud, though she was quick to be dismissive about it when the other girls had this peculiar expressions on their faces directed right at her. "Either way. We just have to do what we can to get through the day. Take it one day at a time."
"Yeah..."
"You know, Canti," Crystal said. "Your glasses. They suit you."
"Leviathan said they were built just for me, with special lenses keyed to my optic nerves. They're supposed to slowly rebuild my eyesight."
"That's pretty cool," Hikari admitted. "I didn't even know things like that were possible."
"I didn't either," Canti said. "I don't like them, but. They're neat. Couldn't see without them, so might as well get used to them."
"Fair enough."
Kain made his way back to the Highwind Manor, lost in thought. He avoided pretty much everyone, and when he thought they were going to speak to him, he just kept his head down. Without the wind's blessing in him, he couldn't just jump away. Not only did he fail his father in upholding the family tradition of being the Grand Dragoon, he failed his cousin with his inability to protect her. He tried to remember exactly how she was injured in the head, but he couldn't quite visualize it. But he did remember being shocked inside and out with electricity. He could still feel his nerves be fried with the prickles manifested by a Thundaja. He could still hear her screams for his aid, and pounding against some wall or whatever it was. The senator was a cruel bastard, and Kain hoped for nothing short of an execution for him. Harming the two most important people in his life, there was nothing more deserving of being hung from the gallows. Once he made it home, the door was opened for him. He made his way to the kitchen, snatched an apple without even asking for it, and slowly went up to his room without a word said to anyone. He could hear his Uncle Cid rambling about something in front of the Sphere Terminal. Kain didn't give two shakes of a rat's tail about whatever it was. He plopped face down upon his bed, recalling that night when Canti was so scared that they shared the bed together. He clenched his fists, crushing the apple between his fingers, causing it to crumble onto his bedspread and become a mess in his hands. How could he be so powerless? How could he let her - even after the government order that he was to be her guardian - be hurt like this. His eyes burned once he saw the plush of the Eidolon Bahamut sitting on his nightstand. She had got him that for Christmas, and while he couldn't do anything but blush when he got it, he knew it was nothing less than a gift given out of the purest love. She didn't deserve the treatment she got from the senator. She didn't deserve to lose her eyes. She didn't deserve...
...she didn't deserve someone like Kain, who would fail her again, especially now with his special abilities gone...
Tears ran down his cheeks. How he wanted nothing more than to be in her company, to comfort her, to hear her laugh. Kain wondered if the reason why his powers had been recinded had something to do with the fact that she was blessed by the crystal recently. Was it the Wind Crystal that punished him for being unable to fulfill the orders given to him by Leviathan? He wiped his tears away and decided it was time to go back to the Great Hall. The last time he was there, it was Canti's blessing ceremony. He was going to tell the crystal how he felt and, maybe, just maybe, get his ability to jump back. He had to be able to ride the wind.
As he was coming back down the stairs, he saw Cid. Looked like he was heading out. But Kain wasn't gonna say anything. He didn't really want to go anywhere.
"Hey," Cid said. "Got a call from Leviathan. Canti's awake."
"That's great, Uncle Cid," Kain answered, his tone still low. "I'm glad to hear that."
"You wanna come with me to pick her up?"
Kain shook his head. "No."
Cid shifted his weight to his other leg. "I know you blame yourself, kid, but... what could you really have done? Senator Palamecia is a powerful sorcerer."
"I don't want to talk about this right now," Kain grumbled, continuing to walk down the stairs. "Please let me deal with it on my own terms."
"The last thing I want to see is you imploding," Cid said. "My brother would not want that for you."
"Leviathan named me as Canti's personal guard," the teenage dragoon said as he turned away. "I'm completely unqualified for it. Clearly."
"You are in training! You can't do this to yourself! You think I haven't fucked up a time or two on my own missions?"
Tears started to form in Kain's eyes again, so he darted behind his uncle and headed into the kitchen. He took a pear from the fruit bowl onto the counter and, despite Cid calling after him a few times, darted out into the backyard. Kain couldn't handle that. So what if Cid fucked up in the past. What was he, a pilot? So what? It's not like his decisions determined the safety of the person he cared about the most! He went to the center of the once-glorious backyard. Most of the shrubberies that stacked up like a maze through here when he was a kid no longer were perfectly quaffed. They were prickly and overgrown in some places, and dead in others. It was more like walking into a giantic tumbleweed than it was walking into his backyard. Kain came across the statue that he used to promise every single day that he would be worthy of becoming the Grand Dragoon, and thee moment he placed his hand upon the statue, he bit his lip. Cid had told him before, when taking him home from the hospital after that whole incident, that the world wasn't what he was led to believe. That his father's position was not that of strength, but one being a mouthpiece for Leviathan himself. The dragon statue stood as prideful as it had when it gave Kain inspiration as a kid. "Father," he whispered. "You raised me with the intent to become the Grand Dragoon. You... told me that I would one day inherit your legacy, your position. That I'd be just like you... but... you're wrong..." Kain pulled his hand away from the statue and turned away from it. "I'll never be worthy of being just like you... I'm worthy only of being whoever it is I'm supposed to be."
He heard the sound of a chocobo drawn carriage clip-clopping outside. Cid must've been heading out, then. That gave him the perfect opportunity to go to the Great Hall.
Maybe now he'd get some kind of answer.
