Susan (Susie to her friends) Carmichael wished she were on a plane to California. Even if it were in couch with an obese man pressing up against her side and a drunk passed on the other. At this point she'd even be willing to locked up in one of those dog crates and spend the entire flight in the baggage hold. She'd simply rather be on her way back to California to enjoy her much earned vacation, than sit in her office a second more and listen to the windbag sitting on the other side of her desk.

She'd dreamed of being a singer. Of being up on stage, entertaining millions, her name in lights and fans screaming as she began her latest power ballad. But many dreams were simply that and Susie had long put aside her hopes of stardom in pursuit of the more mundane. She still sang, of course, and just last week had participated in a small benefit for a local animal shelter, but that was the most that had come of her aspirations. No, Susie had accepted that such prestige wasn't in the cards.

So she'd settled for being a Senator.

Washington DC- The Office of Susan Carmichael, Junior Senator of California (Independent)

"Are you listening to me?"

Susie forced a smile on her face. "Of course I am, Alex. I have been for the last 40 minutes." He opened his mouth to protest her attitude and Susie held up a hand. "Alex, you've repeated the same talking points now four times. We aren't on the Senate floor and this isn't a filibuster. We already did that this week."

Alex slumped down in his seat, annoyed, but it was clear she'd gotten to him. "Yeah... you did great though yesterday."

Susie nodded graciously. "Which part did you like best? When I compared that bill to Jabba the Hutt or when I began to read out the episode summaries of LOST?"

"Both good but I preferred when you began quoting the Pokémon movie."

The junior senator laughed. "I hope Herman Cain loved that one!"

Alex chuckled as well, his posture becoming less rigid. The senior senator from Ohio was a massive stick in the mud (to use a polite term) but had mellowed with old age and was able, at times, to actually take a breath and act like a human being and not a trope-spouting Reaganite. It never lasted, of course, and Susie was sure he'd be back to being a massive prick within minutes, but for the moment she'd enjoy the peace . "Nearly 17 hours, Susan... that was breathtaking. You filibuster with the best of them!"

"I aim to please."

Susie hadn't planned to get into politics. After stumbling around college for a few years, switching her major nearly every semester, she'd wondered if she'd ever find what she was meant to do. It hadn't helped that all her friends seemed to stumble right into the perfect careers. Angelica had her non-profit, Chuckie had finished his doctorate and writing his first book while Phil was finishing on his three doctrines (three! Susie still didn't know how that boy did it!), Lil was just out of Quantico after blasting through the courses, Kimi was a household name thanks to her column in Pout and Tommy and Dil had just been announced as the successors to Nigel Thornberry. Meanwhile Susie was taking the odd internship and dealing with her mother suggesting new career paths each day.

And then it happened: a freshman at UCLA went to the police and the school's dean and revealed that she'd been raped by the college's star quarterback during a sorority party. The police had begun an investigation but the school refused to cooperate, throwing roadblocks up at every turn. Worse, information got leaked about the freshman concerning her high school years that painted her as a slut who slept around with everyone and anyone. Much of the school's top brass just wiped their hands of the whole affair and when students had asked for help from then Republican Congressman Sandles, a graduate of UCLA himself, he'd declared that the girl was clearly lying and looking for attention.

Susie had been livid. She'd never met the freshman, had never got to the sorority where the rape occurred (Susie had a hard enough time picking a major, let alone where to pledge), and knew nothing about the school's football team... but for so many people to simply brush aside the accusations had made her stomach curdle and her soul burn with outrage. 24 hours after Rep. Sandles made his comments Susie had organized a protest on the school's main grounds. Things had quickly snowballed, with students from all years and departments walking out on mass to join her sit-out. Newspapers were contacted, people began to investigate the details, and it soon came out that the quarterback had been accused 18 months earlier of raping a girl in Texas when the team had gone to play a game there. Once more the situation had been swept under the rug. When reporters for the LA Times found a source who testified that Sandles had personally spoken to the police in Texas to get them to drop the case, in the name of 'fair play' the house of cards had come tumbling down. The quarterback was arrested and found guilty before sent back to Texas to face charges for the rape there. The dean and half of the board were fired. And Rep. Sandles was forced to vacate office in disgrace.

The Democrats had come to ask Susie to run for Sandles seat, much to her shock. She'd tried to explain that she didn't even have a degree yet, let alone the experience to go to Washington, but the Dems had felt that this was a plus; Susie was an outsider and broke the usual mold for representatives and her passion would make her a perfect candidate. They weren't alone in thinking this; a group of Tea Party Republicans had also seen Susie's work and expressed an interest in her running. They said that Susie's push for justice as well as her support for the police (while some left wingers had attacked the police for not doing more Susie had seen how they were trying and refused to make them the focus of her ire) showed she could be just the perfect candidate for the House.

Susie had refused them both. She felt both sides, while having points she agreed with, were too entrenched in their partisan bickering to do any real good and that if she joined with them she'd become a puppet. Instead, with the help of her parents and some lucky breaks, she'd formed a coalition of Third Parties and run as an Independent, squeaking on a win to claim the vacated seat.

At the time of the win many pundits had claimed that Susie's victory would mean little and that within 3 months no one even in her own district would remember her name. She'd proven them all wrong. She was her mother's daughter and midway though her first term her name was whispered along the corridors of power. It was said that she was the one that got things done. Susie didn't get bills passed (or killed, if need be) through bravado or fiery rhetoric, though she could use both if the situation called for it. No, it was her ability to wield the compromise that saw her star rise and men and women three times her age seek her out for help. She could cut through bullshit, find the heart of the matter, and most importantly of all get both sides of the aisle to come together for the greater good. She played both sides, earning the scorn from plenty of extremists (Sean Hannity had declared her 'the devil come to seduce Washington'; she was thinking of getting that put on a coffee mug) but the love of a public tired of politicians doing nothing and the respect of her peers. When one of the California Senators had announced he was retiring he'd shocked the country by endorsing Susie, who hadn't even put her name in the running, rather than another Democrat to take his place. Pressure from both sides of the center had seen her run and win with a solid majority and she'd taken her skills from the House to the Senate.

Just the other day she'd engaged with the Republicans in filibustering a bill, managing to kill it before it came to a vote. Because of this the honorable Alex Keaton of Ohio thought she was on his side and thus was aghast that she'd thrown her support behind a spending bill he'd been targeting.

"I just don't get it... why are you pushing so hard for this when you were against that horrid bill yesterday?"

Susie slid over to the mini fridge she kept tucked in the corner of her office and grabbed a bottle of Coke, offering one to Alex who declined. Her eyes lingered for a moment on a photo she'd taped onto it of her holding her twin girls, the then two-month olds letting out little yawns, before focusing once more on Alex. "That bill," she said as she twisted the cap, a hiss of carbon filling the air, "was loaded with so much pork I was surprised it didn't oink. It had more dog ears than a kennel. I was going to kill that because wasteful spending is killing this country. But today's bill? You are talking about slashing PBS's budget." She took a sip of her pop before asking, "What did Big Bird do to you?"

Alex glared at her. "It is a waste of taxpayer money! We pay for these shows-"

"That provide free entertainment and education to our country's youth," Susie stated. "As well as providing culture to those that might never be able to afford it."

"-when we could be spending so much more on important things... like the military! Defending this country should be our top priority."

Susie had guzzled her coke in record time and held up a finger as she chucked the bottle into her recycling bin. Alex tilted his head as Susie leaned back, considering what he said... and let out a belch.

"Sorry, that was the best I could come up with." Keaton looked ready to explode once again and Susie slammed her hand down on the table, startling the anger right out of him. "Alright, you've been wasting my time now for almost an hour and I don't want you screwing up my vacation so I am going to lay it out for you: you can't win this, Alex. I've already crunched the numbers and I have the votes to win."

"A little too confident in your abilities?" Alex asked, his tone growing mocking. Susie smirked; he'd decided to insult rather than scream. Good. "Your numbers aren't as sure as you think. I got off the phone with Sentaor Merzlak and he said-"

"He said what I told him to say," Susie stated, cutting Alex off. "He texted me about your little attempt to threaten him into voting with you... he ended it with the smiling poop emoji. Your allies are drifting away from you like rats from a sinking ship. They've all seen the data I sent them: children who watch Public Broadcasting are more likely to succeed in their first three years of school and have an overall higher graduation rate than their non-watching counterparts. They have better understanding of math and English and their people skills are better too. They show empathy more and are more willing to share." She reached into her desk and pulled out a folder, flopping it on the desk. "We give PBS roughly 500 million a year... of course that is split among NPR as well but let's keep this simple. That same amount of money would buy us one Navy F-35c. We couldn't even get another generic F-35 with the change left over from that sale. National security is important but I seriously doubt our enemies will lay down their arms because they spot one more plane in the air. What I do now is for the millions of children benefit from PBS and I'm not going to let a war hawk like you doom them because you want to make a name for yourself as a military man because you didn't have the balls to join up."

Susie paused, considering her words. "No, I take that back... I am going to help you make a name for yourself, Alex. You fight me on this and I will make sure everyone in this country knows you are the guy that tried to murder Elmo." She saw the way he cringed at that and knew she had him. "Oh, can't you see Jimmy Fallon doing jokes about that? Conan having a guy dressed as you hacking off Bert's head while Ernie watches? The political cartoonists will have a field day. I can write up the speech right now and give it on the floor the first chance I get. You'll be ducking phone calls from upset parents who have to explain to little Billy why the mean Senator wants to declare jihad on Mr. Hooper's store. So think long and hard about this Alex... you can either work with me..."

"Or against you?" Alex muttered; he knew he was defeated and knew Susie knew.

"Or get crushed under my boot." She smiled sweetly and pointed to the door. "Unless there is anything else I need to finish packing for my vacation."

Alex stood up, gathering his stuff and heading to the door, trying to hold his head high. He was just into the hallway when he poked his head back in. "Hey Carmichael..." she looked up and saw he was smiling an innocent smile, "who the hell taught you to be such a bitch?"

"Angelica Finster, mostly," she said with a smirk. "See ya next session." Alex left and Susie sighed, putting the folder away before head out the door.

She really needed this vacation. If only because her babies would be more mature than her fellow Senators.

~MC~MC~MC~

30 minutes west of Yucaipa, California

"Lil, I am seriously ten seconds away from putting you in one of Benny's diaper."

Glaring at her twin, Lil huffed as she struggled to get out of Phil's van, Langdon calling out for her to stop and wait for him to get around and assist. A retort that waiting for him to get out is what got her pregnant in the first place danced on the tip of her tongue but remembering that there were little ears about she bit her tongue and focused on her exploding bladder. She'd already half waddled to the rest stop by the time Langdon caught up to her, offering her his arm for support. Lil really wanted to smack the limb away but Clair, clearing wanting her to keep going, began to thrash about, egging Lil on.

"At least this is better than the last one," Langdon reasoned as he led her inside. When they'd stopped a half hour ago to let her use the bathroom it had been little more than a concrete building with some dust covered pamphlets advertising the 'Grand Opening Of California Adventure!' and a toilet that let out a gurgle when flushed that sounded like a sick demon dry heaving after a night of binge drinking. This one was one of the major stops, about the size of a small Wal-Mart and featuring a mall-style food court, two gift shops, several pristine restrooms, a bank of phones for those that hadn't gotten with the digital age, and even a shower and changing area for truckers looking to freshen up after a long night. It was the type of stop that would delight little tykes and make them feel like it was the best part of their vacation. "Gina wanted to stretch her legs anyway and I'm sure Pete and Ben would like to get some fresh air."

"I know they would," Lil said as they made their way past the little giftshop and towards the restrooms. "When we were their age Phil and I HATED long car trips. Or boat trips… or plane trips… or just being stuck in one place for way too long. Langdon?"

"Yes?" her boyfriend said.

"I can go into the bathroom by myself."

"Ah."

Waddling as fast as she could, Lil made it to one of the stalls and sank down in relief. "Can't let mommy off easy, can you?" she whispered to Clair.

"Why you dwink so much in the first place?" Clair wanted to reply back, assuming she was able to talk. "Daddy warned you nots too!"

As she took care of her business Lil dealt with the growing dread and horror that had been swelling up in her since they'd begun the trip: namely, remembering what a little terror she and Phil had been and realizing that soon she'd be the adult that had to care for a wild child baby. She sat on the porcelain throne, eye wide with panic and her breath coming out in sharp gasps as she thought upon all the close calls of her youth. While she had dismissed it when talking to Phil and couldn't remember much of the details (other than a few wispy things, like the echoes of a long past dream), the fact that by the time she had been two years old she had been lost in a forest, pretty much kidnapped by a crazed Parisian woman with delusions of grandeur, and been in a boat sinking AND trapped in a mini sub deep under the ocean…

Lil hugged her stomach and began to rock back and forth.

How were her parents not insane? How? She felt like she was losing it and her baby wasn't even born yet! Only it was worse for her because at least her parents had normal jobs… she was a friggin' Federal Agent who chased down known murderers, thieves, and rapists. Yesterday she'd run three blocks to catch a gang leader and only now realized just how much danger she'd placed Clair in. The kid wasn't even out of the womb and was already getting into adventures!

Lil forced her eyes shut, counting to ten before she drove her metaphorical fist into her fear's stomach, doubling it over and cramming it back deep within her mind. Pulling up the sweatpants that made her look like she'd given up on ever looking trendy and fashionable but were just so comfy and convenient, she made way to the sink to wash up. When she saw no paper towels she grunted in annoyance ("death to the stupid hand blowers" Lil muttered) and went back to the stall, grabbing some toilet paper, wadding it up before she soaked it under the tap and began to run it along her forehead and neck. California was always hot but a heat wave plus pregnant plus stupid pregnancy brain fears meant she was roasting and while she had surrendered to the siren song of sweatpants she would NOT walk around looking like a sweaty ball of fat and hormones.

Looking herself in the mirror Lil scowled, glaring at her reflection. "Knock it off, would you? You face down death every day and you are scared about something that hasn't happened yet? Get it together, Lillian!"

"But this isn't about you," her reflection seemed to answer back. "In a few weeks it will never be 'just you' again. You have a baby. Can't break up with this one when you want some space. Can't go off half cocked thinking "It's me vs. the world" anymore. It will never be only you ever again. You are going to be a mommy and you have to be there for her."

"You think I don't know that!" Lil snapped. "But I'm not going to let anything happen to Clair! I survived and she will survive too! Hell, she will thrive! I'm not going to be one of those helicopter parents that doesn't let their child even touch a blade of grass because they are scared of what happened. Clair will have fun, do amazing things, and live a long, happy life!" Lil's determined face fell and she bit her lip. "Right?"

Her reflection didn't say anything.

Sighing, Lil tossed the wet wad of toilet paper in the trash and made her way out of the bathroom, letting out a sigh of gratitude when she saw that Langdon, while waiting for her, had grabbed a few candy bars from a kiosk next to the food court. Accepting a Snickers she let her boyfriend lead her over to a table where Phil sat with a bag of burgers and a round of paper cups filled with sodas, Petey still in his baby carrier as Phil fed him some apple sauce. Her nephew turned his head when she approached, cooing for a moment only to turn back when Phil accidently smeared food on his check instead of in his mouth. Petey just looked at his daddy and Lil chuckled as he began to inhale her Snickers.

"Sorry buddy," Phil said, grabbing a wet nap and cleaning the 8 month old up. He dipped the spoon into the jar again, scratching at his beard as he nodded at the bags. "Gina decided we might as well get lunch now. By the time we get to the hotel and get settled in it'll be too late to hit up mom's for lunch and we don't need any cranky crying because someone's hungry… and I'd rather not have Benny and Petey upset either."

"Eat worms, Phillip," Lil snorted as she unwrapped a chicken sandwich and sunk her teeth into it. Langdon, for his part, had to be weird and unwrapped his burger and his fish sandwich and began his task of combining the two into a Frankenmeal. "I still can't believe mom isn't throwing more of a fit about us not staying at the house."

"There are too many of us now," Phil reasons. "With the kids, you and Langdon, plus her and dad… remember, mom turned the guest room into a 'Ma'am Cave' two years ago."

"Besides," Gina said as she walked over, joining the conversation, "it's hard to say no when Senator Carmichael is making all the hotel arrangements."

"When is Susie supposed to get in, anyway?" Phil asked.

Lil shrugged as Gina sat Benny down beside her and began to set out his food. "It will be a close shave to make it to dad's party from the sounds of it but she is hopeful she can sneak away… all depends on the vote coming up. If not then she'll get here in time for Mrs. Pickles' retirement party."

"Why you get ta go into the toy store and I couldn't?" Petey complained, looking at his brother.

"You were too little to go," Benny said. "There were glass things that could break. We didn't get anything though, we just looked. Pwomise."

"What was that?" Gina asked.

Benny pointed at his brother. "Petey wanted to go in the toy store and I was 'splainin' why he couldn't." The 8 month old gurgled as he sucked on the spoon Phil had stuck in his mouth.

"Still acting as a little translator I see," Langdon said with a smile.

"Don't get cocky," Phil said. "According to Chuckie babies are smarter than we think. Angelica still claims we talked to her all the time back when we were in diapers. Not that she can remember much of what we said but she still has the sense that it happened."

"I just don't see it," Langdon admitted, reaching over and poking Petey playfully on the tummy. "Babies are cute and they are definitely alive but they aren't holding secret conversations and plotting."

"Uncle Langdon's pickin' on me! Benny, I'm gonna spit up on him!"

Benny merely shrugged, winking at his brother.

"Great, now daddy's stupid too!" Clair thought as she kicked at the womb in frustration. "Spit up on him for me!"