"Drink this, it will help," Lil said, handing Langdon some coffee.

Langdon, who was slouched in one of the padded hotel chairs that was private for their room, his laptop out as he checked his e-mail, scowled in annoyance. "I'm not hungover and I thought I wasn't allowed coffee. You know, 'to know your pain' since you can't consume the stuff?" He suddenly looked at his girlfriend cautiously. "I fear this is a trap."

"I'm living happily through you," Lil said.

"Don't think of doin' that with me!" Clair declared, squirming a bit. "You even twy and put me in a pagbent and I'll poopie so hard your head will spin! Now get me waffles! B'eak'ast is the moistest impor'tant meal of the day!"

Lil placed Langdon's hand on her stomach so he could feel Clair moving about. "See, she agrees with me too."

"get… me… waffles!"

Sipping his coffee, Langdon turned back to his e-mail, deleting the junk ads. "Lillian, I know what I saw. It was that gay man, the one that was hitting on me… he was in his underwear and he was trying to break into your room!"

"Or, more likely, you were so drunk you saw some random stranger and thought he was a stalker." She placed a finger to his lips when he tried to argue. "Shhh, I'm actually being a nice, understanding girlfriend for once. Try not to ruin the moment."

Langdon quietly nodded.

Lil walked over to the dresser, pulling off the loose pajama shirt she was wearing and snagging a clean bra to put on. After a moment though Langdon came over and helped her out. "Trust me, Phil's special blends pack a wallop. Half the time you don't even remember taking them and when you wake up you don't remember half the crazy things you did. I remember a house party he had last year, back when you had to go to New York for a case… he somehow spiked the keg with his special blend. Gina found me three hours later sitting on the roof thinking I was one of the My Little Ponies. All of us have had a sip and ended up in crazyland… no one is going to blame you, not even Angelica. Though… you might want to let me talk to her first. Test the waters. She's been screaming at me for years so I've built up immunity. The point is-"

"Which pony?"

"Say what now?"

"Which of the ponies did you think you were?" Langdon asked, taking another sip of his coffee. "The pink one?"

"No, not the pink one," Lil said in annoyance. "I think you've had enough coffee."

Langdon pulled away though, preventing her from grabbing his cup. "I know… it was the shy one, wasn't it! You thought you were Buttershy!"

"It doesn't matter, I don't even know," Lil snapped, marching back over to the dresser and pulling out a shirt, slipping it on as she muttered, "and it's Fluttershy."

"HA!" Langdon exclaimed in victory. "You know her name! You thought you were the shy one who is scared of everything!"

Lil just shuddered in indignation before taking a deep breath and letting her anger go; it was clear Langdon had won this round and it would be better to just wait till she had a chance to get even. "Just… put on the Baby Playlist, okay? Feels like Clair is doing cartwheels on my liver."

Langdon opened up the Youtube tab and found the playlist Lil had set up months ago. "Only you would pick the best of Queen and AC/DC for a Baby Playlist. You know this is probably over stimulating her and making her thrash more, right?"

"Don't be silly," Lil said, patting her stomach, "Clair is mommy's little rocker."

"Got that right!" Clair said, during her special wiggle dance as 'Dirty Deeds' played. "Dirty fleas and they're done derp peep!"

~MC~MC~MC~

"Dil, you do realize the food isn't going anywhere, right?" Tommy asked as his brother loaded up his plate full of food. The continental breakfast was an impressive affair and when the world travelers spotted it even they, as jaded as they were to hotel living, had been shocked and delighted. They were used to a free breakfast being a box of stale donuts or maybe some mini boxed cereals with milk cartons like the ones given out in elementary schools. On occasion there were be something special, like fresh fruit or a waffle maker, but more often than not the extended Pickles family lived on whatever their could scrounge around.

But this morning found them staring at the grand jackpot of all continental breakfasts. A waffle bar, complete with all manner of toppings. A fruit and salad bar for those looking for a more healthy breakfast. Fresh pastries brought in from the bakery down the road. An entire cereal aisle's worth of mini cereals. Fresh OJ and piping hot coffee sitting next to bottled water. A warming station with bacon, sausage, hash browns, and scrambled eggs. There was something for everybody and even Louie and Brian perked up at all the yummy smells (even if bottles were still their number 1 choice for a healthy breakfast).

Everything had looked so good… and apparently Dil had decided since everything looked good he must eat everything in one sitting.

"Yeah, but when am I going to get a chance to make Mt. Breakfast?" Dil asked, sitting down next to Steph who was already tearing into some sausage like a lioness into a gazelle; Steph happily proclaimed to all that would listen that she was the anti-vegetarian. She'd even once demanded that the resturuant give her the names of the animals that had become topping son her pizza. Tommy, his plate filled (but no where near as bad as Dil's) with eggs, two pieces of bacon, some toast, and a single serve packet of jam, sat across from him, Louie settled in a high chair Kimi had found. Dil pushed his plate a little so both his nephew and Brian, who was in a booster seat eating a banana, could see his masterpiece. "We start with eggs as the base and then move onto the waffle. Then bacon crisscrossed followed by a healthy layer of hashbrowns. The hacked up sausage links tie the whole thing together and then we have a muffin top, because the bottoms suck, crowning the summit. Ta-da-da-da! Mt. Breakfast!"

"Tadadadada!" Louie babbled (which, in baby, meant 'tadadadadada'), throwing up his arms.

"That's great, Dil," Tommy said, wondering if he could eat his own breakfast before Dil dove into the nightmare he'd created and thus prevent him from losing his appetite.

"Thanks. Anyone have any apple butter or hot sauce. Need to cap this puppy."

"He's gonna cat a puppy?!" Louie exclaimed in shock. "How you even do that?"

"I once saw daddy make a raccoon think he was a carpet when he was driving," Brian said.

"Dear lord," a familiar voice said dryly, "you still haven't grown out of being weird, have you?"

Tommy stood up and stared down the new arrival, eyes narrowed. "Angelica!"

"Pickles," the blonde said.

The two cousins kept their staring contest going for a few more seconds before breaking down into laughter.

"Who won this time?" Angelica asked as she walked over and gave Tommy a hug with one arm, the other one holding a blinking Melinda.

"No idea… let's just say it's a draw." Tommy took Melinda from Angelica and lifted her up, the tot kicking her booty-clad feet as he did so (she was a touch annoyed that she had to wear booties on her feet but mommy had asked her to try and last as long as she could). "And how is my little… uh…" Tommy suddenly frowned, lowering Melinda a bit and staring at his cousin. "What exactly is my relationship to Melinda?"

"You're here second cousin, duh," Angelica said, rolling her eyes. "We're cousins and she's my baby."

"Right, but she's also Chuckie's daughter and I'm married to Chuckie's sister so that makes me her uncle too? But not by blood. And Chuckie and I are basically like brothers anyway. So Uncle twice over? Or does blood trump marriage and its cousins?"

"Well, yeah… but… huh…" Angelica peered down Melinda, her daughter staring at her out of pure curiosity. "Huh… not quite sure the answer."

"Why does it matter?" Melinda asked, reaching over and tugging on Tommy's ear. "We only use names like that to further cat-e-log the world around us! Family is not red icky stuff, it's love! I love you, Unca Tommy, and mommy, and daddy, and Aunt 'imi, and Unca Dil, and Mr. Fuzzy Beard and the mailman, and the cable boy, and-EEEEEEEEEE!" Melinda squirmed and laughed as Tommy blew a raspberry on her tummy.

"Talkative little tyke, isn't she?" Tommy said, passing her back to Angelica. "When did that start?"

"Maybe around 4 or 5 months old," Angelica said, straightening Melinda's flower headband. "But really took off at 6 months when we really let her begin interacting with other babies."

Tommy smiled as he turned to great his oldest friend. "Still theorizing that babies lead secret lives, huh?"

"How else do you explain all the trouble they get into," Chuck said, giving Tommy as hug while Angelica greeted Dil, who told Brian to guard Mt. Breakfast while he gave Angelica a hug. Making sure no one could overhear, Chuck whispered in Tommy's ear, "You okay, man? Your last few e-mails sounded a little down."

"We'll talk later," Tommy said. While Chuckie focused on child care he was still a shrink and more importantly a sympathetic ear. He'd be the best person to talk over his recent feelings of listlessness. "Grab a beer, chat." A bit louder he said, "When did you guys roll in?"

"Little after noon yesterday," Chuck said, Tommy following him over to the buffet. Angelica moved to join him but Chuck waved her off, signaling he'd get her breakfast. She shrugged and busied herself with greeting her second cousin and nephew, Louie and Brian giggling as she kissed their fuzzy heads. "We did our shopping and worked on getting Melinda used to the time switch… actually harder now that she sleeps through most of the night… and then had dinner with Angelica's folks. Drew and I talked investiments, Angelica and Charlotte got in a drinking contest. Same old, same old." Chuck began ladling some eggs onto Angelica's plate. "You guys?"

Tommy ran his fingers through his hair. "Around the same time, maybe closer to 1 or 2, but not far off. Can't believe we kept missing you guys." He jerked his thumb at Dil. "He spotted Langdon though but he was acting off… you know if him and Lil had another fight? I mean beyond the normal ones?" The entire gang was used to Lil breaking up with Langdon for a day or so only to get right back with him.

"Not that I know of," Chuck said, bringing Angelica her plate before going to fix his. By that point Kimi had returned with her food and was chatting with Angelica, the two mommies sharing the latest gossip.

"Hello!" Louie said with a grin, finally noticing Melinda sitting next to him in her own highchair. "Who are you?"

"I'm Melinda Kira Finster, MDDDDDD."

"What's an MDDDDD?" Brian asked.

Melinda puffed up her chest even as her daddy dumped some dry Cheerios into a little bowl for her. "It means I'm a psychic-ologist!"

"Okay," Louie said as Kimi spoon fed him some eggs; recently his mommy had decided he should try more solid foods. He took a few bites before asking, "What dat?"

"It means I know about b'ains!"

"Baines?" Brian asked, finishing off his banana. "That's the big guy Batman fights!"

"You're a soupyhero?!" Louie exclaimed in delight. "Do you know Reptar?"

"Yeah, he's a dinosaur," Melinda said in confusion, popping some Cheerios in her mouth.

"Wow!" Louie exclaimed. "Dat's amazing!"

"Where's your mommy and daddy?" Brian asked.

Melinda giggled, pointing at Angelica and Chuck. "They're right there!"

Brian squinted, trying to reason that out. "But that's Aunt Anbellica and Uncle Chuck. They aren't mommies and daddies."

"Yes they are!" Melinda protested with a little huff. "They are the bestest mommy and daddy in the world!"

Louie found this all very confusion. "So mommies and daddies can be aunts and uncas?"

"I guess so," Melinda reasoned, having never thought about it before.

"It's like with my mommy and daddy and your mommy and daddy!" Brian explained.

"You two aren't brothers?" Melinda asked.

"No, we just live and play together," Brian stated. "This is my mommy and daddy," he gestured at Steph and Dil, "And Uncle Tommy and Aunt Kimi are Louie's mommy and daddy."

"So if Aunt Anbellica and Uncle Chuck are your mommy and daddy… and my mommy and daddy are your aunt and uncle… and both of us have Louie's mommy and daddy as our aunt and uncle…" Brian's eyes lit up in excitement. "That makes us cousins!"

"COOL!" Louie exclaimed, wiggling in his little chair.

Melinda waved her hands in the air. "We can play cousin games, and have cousin parties, and have cousin breakyfastses, and have cousin group therapy sessions!"

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT A COUSIN IS SO I DON'T KNOW WHY WE'RE EXICTED!" Louie screeched in delight.

"Then why are you cheering?" Melinda asked

"I LIKE YELLING T'INGS!"

Kimi smiled, watching as the three little ones giggled and laughed. "Aw, they remember each other."

"Haven't seen each other since Louie and Melinda were 3 months old and they still remember each other," Chuck said, leaning down and kissing his daughter on the head.

Tommy, however, had a different thought. "Should we be concerned? I mean, you say babies are really smart, Chuckie… they could be plotting."

Angelica snorted. "Can't be any worse than you guys were."

All the old friends suddenly froze.

"…hide all the screwdrivers," Dil whispered as they watched Melinda, Louie, and Brian babble at each other.

~MC~MC~MC~

"So everything is going smoothly with Edwards?" Lil asked, her phone held out in front of her as she walked through the hotel's lobby with the rest of her family. Langdon was at her side; she kept saying he was hovering but he claimed he was merely being attentive. After his little victory concerning the My Little Ponies Lil was half tempted to break up with him for two hours. At this point in her life she knew that unless something drastic happened her and Langdon Roth were in it for the long haul. They lived together, they worked together, they were having a baby (well, she was having the baby and Langdon would have to listen to her scream bloody murder during the delivery), and they shared a Netflix account; all the hallmarks of a committed couple. But Lil did like having the option to break up with him for a few hours, if only to teach him a lesson. Plus the makeup sex was always amazing. Looking down at her belly she sighed; with her little spare tire there was simply no way to indulge in that pleasure. Oh, she could do it... Langdon just was concerned that Clair knew what was happening, even if they tried... different things. Nope, her boyfriend had ruled that out a few months ago and thus all the fun had been taken out of their breakups.

Heck, because of that this was the longest the two of them had stayed continuously as a couple.

"Lil, you hear me?" Cramer asked, his voice echoy thanks to the speaker being turned on.

"Yeah, sorry, repeat that. Pregnancy brain."

"Right, because I haven't known you and Phil for years and seen both have your little imagination spots," the shrink groused.

"Hey!" Phil, who was walking beside Lil pushing Benny and Petey's stroller, barked indigently.

"So daddy and Aunt Lil go on adventures in their head too?" Petey asked from his spot in front of Benny.

"Uh huh."

"Cooooool!" Petey murmured in awe.

"He's locked up nice and tight and singing like a songbird, so that will make our fearless lawyer wet himself," Cramer snarked.

"Shut up shrink-dink," Langdon groused. "Wait… you mean he confessed? How the hell did you manage that?"

They could all hear the smug smile Cramer was wearing. "Well, he brought in his paid off lawyer to try and get him off, claiming Phil assaulted him, police brutality, yadda yadda yadda, and she was all fired up until me and Simmons dropped the bomb on him. You remember how you suggested we wire the alley up Lillian?"

"It worked?" Lil said, excited. When Phil had figured out where Edwards' hideout was Lil had suggested, if they got the time, to put some hidden microphones up to try and catch Edwards saying something damning. She hadn't realized they'd been able to do it, let alone that the quality would be good enough to make out what he said.

"A little staticy at first but he must have been standing right underneath one because we got loud and clear him promising to-" Cramer paused. "Little ears listening?"

"Yes," Gina said, annoyed that Lil and Phil hadn't thought about that.

"-promising to do something very bad. His lawyer went white as a sheet… Simmons got pictures and will send them to you. One quick conversation later and suddenly our loveable little crook is without a lawyer and spilling his guts."

"Yes!" Lil said, pumping her fist. "That's how I like my cases closed! Thanks Cramer!"

"No problem. Just buy me a coffee mug or something as a present."

"I'll buy you a whole set," Lil said before hanging up. She looked at Langdon and beamed. "The bas… the idiot is done."

"Which means I don't have that hanging over my head during vacation," Langdon said with a sigh of relief.

"So the only thing you need to worry about is your gay stalker," Phil teased.

"Who may or may not exist," Gina said with a teasing grin.

"He does exist!" Langdon snarled through clenched teeth as they walked into the dining area. "He's real, he was in his underwear-"

"He wanted your butt virginity," Phil said.

"Too bad Lil already took that," Gina added with a snicker.

"-and I am not… crazy," Langdon trailed off as he spotted the crowd of adults and babies already at a long table, chatting and laughing with each other… and his gay stalker sitting right in the middle. "Oh my-"

"Tommy!" Lil exclaimed. "Dil!"

"Lil!" the brothers shouted, leaping up and hurrying over to her. Langdon watched, his face twitching, as his stalker hugged his girlfriend… who was oddly jumping up and down like a 5 year old on a sugar high.

"Wait," he murmured, his brain catching up with the events of the last few seconds. "Dil?"

"Hmmm?" Gina said, having lost Phil who'd gone over to greet Kimi. She knelt down and began to unbuckle Petey and Benny, the two tykes squirming and wanting out so they could see what was making their aunt and daddy laugh. "Oh, right… they're the only ones that call him that. They were grandfathered in before he decided he hated the pun of a name his parents stuck him with. That's Dylan, Tommy Pickles' little brother."

The prosecutor's eyes went wide in shock and horror, the memory of Phil's wedding and briefly meeting the red head flashing through his brain. Dil hair had been a bit longer and he'd been wearing a tux rather than the faded jeans and pale red cotton t-shirt he was currently sporting… but now Langdon remembered him perfectly, standing with Chuck and Tommy. For goodness sake he'd stood three feet from him during the whole blasted ceremony! Langdon felt like a complete ass for having forgotten him.

And suddenly Dil greeting him like an old friend and wrapping his arm around him the day before made complete sense.

"Hey Dil." Langdon realized that Lil was walking over to him, the red head a step behind. "You might not remember him but this is my boyfriend-"

"Dylan!" Langdon said with false cheerfulness, stretching out his arms and pulling Dil into a hug. The youngest of the old friends blinked but returned the hug, figuring that Langdon and Lil must have made up and thus her boyfriend was in a better mood than he'd been yesterday. "How is it going? It's been too long!"

"Great!" Dil chirped when Langdon finally let him go. "You seem in a better mood."

Lil frowned. "What does that-"

"Introduce me to everyone!" Langdon quickly said, cutting Lil off, patting Dil on the shoulder and pushing him away before he could say anything more. "That your wife?"

"Fiancée. Steph, Langdon. Langdon, Steph."

While Langdon did his best to keep people from finding out he thought his girlfriend's good friend had been hitting on him the old gang, the original sixsome (minus Dil), was huddling together, breakfast forgotten as they chattered over each other.

"When did you guys get in?" Phil asked.

"Afternoon, sometime around 1pm I think," Tommy said.

"We could have done stuff!" Lil said with a pout. "I don't know what stuff but we could have done stuff!"

"Except we had dinner with my folks," Angelica reminded her, "so Chuck and I would have been out."

"And we had dinner with ours," Phil reminded Lil.

His sister waved that off. "Afterwards." She failed to mention that after dinner she'd gone straight to bed and if Tommy and Kimi and Dil had offered she would have turned them down. "We lost out on some reunion time."

"Title Drop!" Dil called out.

"What?" Lil asked, leaning around Tommy to stare at Dil.

"Langdon was asking me about the logo on my shirt… it's my favorite band, Title Drop."

"Ah," Lil said before returning her focus to the others. "I don't know if Dil is getting saner or we're going mad."

"A bit of both, I'd imagine," Chuck muttered.

"So, what are your plans for today?" Kimi asked.

Phil shrugged. "Dad is going birdwatching with some of his friends this afternoon so mom wants all of uss to do some shopping for the party in an hour or two. Plus we need to pick up more supplies for the kids."

"Should have done it yesterday," Angelica said with a scoff. "You were right there at the Wal-Mart with us."

"You guys were at Wal-Mart?" Tommy asked. "So were we!"

"Wow," Chuck said in surprise. "What a coincidence. Can't believe we didn't run into each other. You guys there when some idiots knocked down half of toy department?"

Kimi and Tommy shared a look before replying, "Nope!"

"So what do the Pickles and Finsters have planned for today?" Phil asked as the old friends moved back to the table, Gina already having plunked Benny and Petey down next to the other tots. "You can always come shopping with us… mom wouldn't mind."

"Phil, she'd love it," Lil said, before mimicking her mother's voice, "Oh, just look at ya pups! All grown up! Makes me want ta noogie ya!"

"…it is scary how much you sounded like her," Dil said, looking away from the conversation he was having with Langdon about indie rock.

Phil shuddered. "Sometimes she uses that voice to creep me out."

"Oh, Philly Willy, don'tcha want ta hear me talk dirty to ya?" Lil said in her 'Betty' voice.

Tommy's face twisted up into a look of revulsion. "It's bad enough you're his sister and saying that! Don't ever do the voice again!"

Once the gang stopped laughing (and the babies were seriously wondering what was going on with their parents; even Benny was confused) then tucked into their breakfasts with Phil and Lil and the rest of their crew going to serve themselves. When everyone was finally settled with a plate Kimi finally spoke up, "As for today, our parents," she gestured first at herself and Chuck then at Tommy and Dil, "want to have us over for a traditional family Sunday lunch."

"Which we've never had before but try explaining that to mom, " Tommy said, chewing on some bacon (hey, his mom might be jewish but dad was 100% on the bacon-eating wagon). "So all of us are in for lunch and a few hours visiting. Going to try and figure out when they want some alone time with the kids."

"See if they can do it tomorrow," Lil said. "Mom and us are going to do some basic shopping today for the party but we'll need to do the heavy lifting tomorrow. We could all go together and make it a huge group outing."

"The mall?" Angelica asked with a grin.

"The mall," Lil said, Kimi giving her a thumbs up.

"What is with chicks and the mall?" Phil asked only for Chuck to ignore him; Angelica might have mellowed out over the years but there were some buttons he refused to even get near for his own safety.

"What else do you guys want to do?" Dil asked.

"There is the water park that opened up two years ago… I've always wanted to go," Tommy said. "They have a kiddie area… we could go in shifts while the munchins play in their little pool."

"Girls night out," Kimi said, having already arranged this with Angelica, Lil, and the absent Susie. "But that has to wait till we are all here. I'm thinking next week."

Chuck pulled out his phone. "So let's say that tomorrow is 100% the mall, Tuesday is Mr. Deville's birthday party, and then we move right into Charlotte's retirement party prep Wednesday afternoon with the morning being a recovery day. Thursday we do another shopping run, Friday is the party, and Saturday is another recovery. We then have Sunday to Wednesday open for water park and the Girl's Night Out… and a Boy's Night if any of our parents want to babysit."

"And they will," Angelica said. "Heck, mom will probably offer to babysit all the kids next week when she gets bored being retired."

"That leaves plenty of time to fit things in if we discover anything cool to do," Steph chimed in. While not part of the main group the old friends had always been open to their spouses joining in on the fun; Steph and Gina were already looking forward to Girl's Night Out.

"Loose but with a bit of structure," Chuck said. "Perfect."

"So we have a gameplan," Lil said with a grin, holding up her oj in a mock toast. "What could go wrong?

KA-BOOM!

"…was that thunder?" Dil said, looking outside at the bright and sunny day that nature had given them.

"Must have been heat lightning," Kimi said nervously.